Have you ever thought of sugar daddy nursey?
Will: Tell me you didn’t buy me four tempur-pedic pillows, Derek.
The text comes while he’s in the middle of a meeting with some supposed up-and-coming author who’s apparently the next big thing in YA Lit, despite the fact that he exclusively writes all-white heterosexual love-triangle romances. He’s not impressed, and he doesn’t actually need to hear the rest of the pitch to know that the girl will end up with the Misunderstood Bad Boy With a Heart of Gold, so he doesn’t feel too bad about checking his phone and answering the text.
To Will: I could, but you hate when I lie to you, sooooo
Will: Oh my god Derek these things cost like $80 and my dorm has a twin bed there’s no way they’ll all fit
To Will: You were complaining about your neck always hurting. These will help with that. And if you’d let me set you up in an apartment you could have a king-sized bed with all the tempurpedic pillows you want.
Will: Stop trying to buy me an apartment.
To Will: You don’t buy an apartment, darling, you rent it.