i guess i just wanted to make one

3

fox: she’ll get over it dude, don’t sweat over it chicks always get insecure about stupid shit.

miles: she’s not like that.. i mean with june i guess.. but june treats her like crap, i don’t blame her for being pissed with me.

fox: well you can’t really tell june what to do, she’s a bitch.

miles: i don’t know… this all just fucking sucks and i just want to make her feel better.. i don’t want to screw this shit up..

fox: i think you’re too in your head right now man, this was nothing ok? couples argue, shit happens.

miles: i know.. but we don’t really fight..? i mean we’ll bicker but that’s just cute shit.. i’m not usually the one who hurts her..

fox: enough alright? we’re going out, we both need a fucking drink.

miles: i don’t know man.. i don’t have an id on me.. plus we’ve got to be up early for this shit, i really shouldn’t.. what if sylvie text’s me back?

fox: if she fucking texts you back her ass can wait, she deserves it after shutting you out all damn day. my buddy’s bar tending tonight down in myshuno, i’ll vouch for you. it’s not like your ass doesn’t look 21.

miles: i..i guess.. one drink, okay?

fox: yep, oneeeee drink. nothing more nothing less.

Overtime -- A Jared Leto Oneshot

I know I have been heavy on the Shannon smut lately so I thought I would make it up to you Jared girls, especially you @msroxyblog and @nikkitasevoli and finally fill this suggestion I’ve had sitting in my ask box for ages. 

I don’t do oneshots often, but if anyone wants to be added to a taglist for future ones just let me know. 

t/w Smut. But I guess you already figured that out.


    “Mikaela, can you come in here please?”

   I sighed and pushed my seat away from the desk, rising to see what His Royal Highness wanted now. I had started working for Jared a month ago. It was only supposed to be a temporary position, assisting while memory cards and hard drives full of old pictures and other such things were cataloged, tagged and classified. Once I started and saw the state things were in I had suggested a better management system, maybe setting up a database so that we could easily sort and retrieve everything once it was cataloged. Jared had jumped at the idea and consequently had dumped what felt like every old file he and anyone who had ever worked for him had in my lap, extending the original job estimate by weeks. Initially, I was very excited about that too, Jared was interesting and charismatic, not to mention easy on the eyes, and like many women, I had nursed a crush on him for years. But as one late night wound into another I was starting to get a little tired of his demanding ways.

Keep reading

Okay so this hurts so bad rn??? Like, I just told one of my closest friends that I was bi and she goes full on biphobic mode on me??? Telling me that I HAVE to marry and suddenly taking acting as if she owns me with shit like ‘I’m gonna make you even if you don’t want to’??? And then I tell her to stop and even tell at her but she continues invading my privacy?? Like, WHAT EVEN…I wouldn’t care if it was someone else but she was a childhood friend. Guess they’re the ones that hurt the most huh? 

And don’t even get me started on the stereotypical part, the fact that she thinks women can’t support their parents on their own and depend on men to do that. I have never felt so violated and personally attacked.

Lmao some ppl are just so messed up😂😂😂😂

Chris Argent: Scott figured out like he always does! 

Scott McCall to Anuk-Ite: You wanted the power of a shapeshifter like me. But that comes with all the rules of being a shapeshifter. We have weaknesses and we have lines that we can’t cross

Gerard: Mountain ash! 

Scott McCall: Well, yeah, except I did cross mountain ash that one time. So I guess that’s a line we can cross. This is a really terrible plan that doesn’t even make sense. Who writes these ridiculous plot lines?

*Stiles runs in and throws mountain ash at the Anuk-Ite. Nothing happens*

*Scott McCall gives up and goes home*

anonymous asked:

Hi, so you don't have to answer this if it's too personal, but did/do you have a job besides writing (and if yes, which one?) or are you able to support yourself with your books? Sorry if I'm prying, I'm just wondering because I want to be an author but am really worried about the whole money/making a living thing lol

Well, sort of I guess! I earn a bit of money from my illustration, through various means - mainly my webcomic, through my Patreon, my art shop, and through the tipping feature on the Tapas app. I also take illustration commissions! I wouldn’t be able to survive on just art stuff, but along with the money I earn from writing, it keeps me able to support myself!

But no, I don’t have any other job apart from that and writing. I’m very fortunate to be able to support myself through both these things. I’m largely able to do this because I’m with a very large publisher (HarperCollins) who have a lot of faith in me, and thus the two deals I’ve had with them so far have involved quite large advances. Most authors can’t support themselves financially without a second job.

everyone: hey kyu don’t add 12 more muses to your blog just because you love space &. want to do some shit with zodiacs
me, coughing up blood: fuck you

I know this is random, especially cause i don’t even post that often on here anymore, but - i’m sorry to every single person i don’t talk to anymore or like don’t ask how are you or just don’t message you anymore. i guess i kind of feel like i’m bothering everyone and it’s kind of making me sick. i mean i used to cry every night because of shit like that. that wasn’t the only reason but it was one of them and it was just bad. but yeah, i’m sorry? ily all and i feel extremely happy that you even remember me and i do care about all of you. it’s just i feel uncomfortable messaging people. i used to do it all the time and it gave me anxiety. but if anyone want to message me (idc if we’ve talked before or not) feel free to do it. so, i’m sorry. ly all ❤️

anonymous asked:

I love those tattoos you did on your friend! I actually been wanting to get a crescent moon on my finger for the longest time too!! How cute! 💕

omg thank U!!! im currently making a halloween themed tattoo sheet and hopefully i will get to do more just like that one!! :’) here are some other tattoos i got to do yesterday

3

So….harry potter au???

Ok first of all I KNOW. The Smiths dont live in…europe. They are from usa and in a au where they are wizards theres not way they could ever get near hogwarts. Theres the american school for wizards called ilvermorny. BUT GUESS WHAT- i dont care.

In ilvermorny things are super different and i made this au thinking HOW FUNNY it could be to see the Smiths goin to Ollivanders for a new wand for Morty (Cuz…the last one got lost or broke idk) and Rick only goes with them just to make fun of how weak and shitty those wands are. Btw imagine Rick becoming Mortys teacher against the dark arts lmao. You know Rick hates Hogwarts with all his heart but he just wants to be with Morty and make his life miserable so yeah. I have so many ideas with this shitty au.  And yeah in my version of this… Jerry is a muggle, Rick a Slytherin, Morty Hufflepuff, Beth Revenclaw and Summer is Gryffindor (Btw Rick probably doesnt believe in all that bs and hates being labeled as a Slytherin but deep down he knows….)

In a world where Symmetra has interactions
  • Zenyatta: You recite the mantra of illusory life and death, yet work for a corporation motivated by physical gain.
  • Symmetra: A mind unburdened is easier to enlighten, wouldn't you say? A cleaner, better world is the first step.
  • --
  • Symmetra: How can someone so hyperactive be quite possibly the most balanced one here?
  • Tracer: Dunno! I just like to let loose and enjoy life, I guess!
  • --
  • Sombra: You should get a life outside of your work.
  • Symmetra: You should live your life entirely outside of yours.
  • --
  • Zarya: Could you make a construct so heavy I could not lift it?
  • Symmetra: I would have to ascertain there is something you cannot lift, first.
  • --
  • Hanzo: I want to ask you: Is the path you walk in life one you know is right?
  • Symmetra: I can only believe it is right. Though even that...
  • --
  • Symmetra: How can you so gratuitously waste money blowing up your mech?
  • D.Va: Chill out, I got sponsor money for days!
  • --
  • D.Va: It's kinda weird chatting with somebody my BFF hates.
  • Symmetra: And his feelings should affect yours because?
  • --
  • Symmetra: ... I mean, a peg leg, really? I could make a prosthe--
  • Junkrat: Don't even think about touchin' me!
  • --
  • Doomfist: It is easy to understand. We cannot attain higher ground if we are complacent, and unchallenged.
  • Symmetra: It is easy to understand. We cannot attain higher ground if we are chaotic, and dead.
  • --
  • Mercy: I know you might not hear this much, but, I truly admire your ideals of a world to benefit all, Ms. Vaswani.
  • Symmetra: But it is your selfless desire to help others that is to be praised, Doctor Ziegler.
10

yoon jisung x tumblr tags

Congratulations on finally debuting, angel!! ❤️

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Guanlin on his first impression of Jihoon

youtube

add maggie stiefvater to the list of writers i owe a formal apology

WARNING: MAJOR TRK SPOILERS!

Negotiations

I walked into the room, avoiding direct eye contact with the alien waiting for me. Its huge eyes just looked like a jet black sclera set in a sack of vaguely damp, wrinkled gray leather. If eyes are a window into the soul, this creepy little guy would give satan a run for his money. They just put me on edge, somehow. I’d have to make eye contact anyway, but it could wait.

I strode up to the meeting table, pulled out the chair, and sat down. I shuffled around in my bag for a moment before pulling out a small piece of tech, which I set on the table in front of me.

“Before we begin, I want to be sure of a few things. This device you’ve provided us with, it is 100% effective at understanding and translating languages, correct?”

The alien across from me nodded. It’s a nice little allowance they’ve made for comfort, learning our body language, but its bulbous head threw the whole gesture off. It made me think of one of those old inflatable toys with a weight on the bottom, that would lean too far to the side before bouncing straight back up. Woobles or something. It didn’t really matter.

“Nearly. We occasionally find a race with one or two concepts that it has trouble with, but that’s easily smoothed over.”

I took a deep breath, and waited a moment to compose myself. This whole thing was going to be more trying than not interrupting old man Higgins up the street while he went on about whatever racist sentiment was in his head at the moment.

“One or two…okay. That’s odd.”

The alien blinked. Eyelids came in from not just the top and bottom, but also the sides. That’s just plain creepy. Reminds me of one of those really old movies they threw on the media blacklist pretty much as soon as first contact started. Something in black. Whatever it was, I remember seeing it as a kid, and that guy at the beginning had nothing on this alien’s eyes.

“Have you already found something it can’t translate?”

I nodded, then pulled out my communicator and scrolled through a few documents. I really needed to clean this thing out. Can’t believe I didn’t get around to it before coming to such an important meeting. Imagine the debacle that would result if I opened exactly the wrong thing. Never can know what that might be, honestly.

“Of a sort, yes. Mind humoring me for a few minutes?”

The alien steepled its hands together, and leaned forward. That’s just plain creepy. I wonder how they learned such context specific body language? Not that it really matters, I guess. Not my problem.

“Certainly. After all, it can take years to accept a race into the Federation.”

Nodding again, I pulled up a document on my communicator, then leaned back in my chair as I began. This was going to be more interesting than that time your classmate Jimmy found some old matches somewhere and almost burned the school down by mistake.

“Excellent. This shouldn’t take much time. I mentioned that we found some issues with your device. Allow me to demonstrate: Espionage.”

The little device on the table beeped, and a red light flashed.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”

I sighed. That one had been an accident. We just had the thing sitting in a conference room while we discussed the implications of the visit when it came up. But, when something that simple for us to understand came up, we had to try for more.

“Reverse Engineering.”

Again, a beep and a flash of red.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”

“Spycraft.”

And again with the beep. This was going to get irritating if I didn’t speed things up a bit. Too bad we hadn’t managed to find a mute option for that feature.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FO-”

“Overwhelming Force”

“ERROR: NO-”

“Scorched Earth”

“ER-”

“Kamikaze”

“E-”

Blitzkrieg, Stealth, Mutually Assured Destruction, Acceptable Losses, Pyrrhic Victory, Guerilla Warfare, Encirclement, Entrenchment, Siege.”

The device gave off a series of distressed beeps, punctuated by rapid blinking of the little red light. I almost felt sorry for it. Almost.

“TOO MANY ERRORS DETECTED. REBOOTING. RUNNING SELF DIAGNOSTIC. NO DISCREPANCIES FOUND,”

I paused, and glanced across the table at the alien before looking back down at the translator. This was going to hit it harder than a washed up holovid actor with no auditions and less money hits rock bottom.

“Xenocide”

The chair across from me clattered to the ground as the alien practically fell out of its seat. I don’t blame the poor thing. Of all the aggressive, militaristic words we tried, that was one of the ones we least expected to translate. I mean, really. Who has a word for the intentional extermination of an entire sapient species when they don’t even understand fundamental hostile international mechanics like spying?

“Why do you have a word for…what was all that just now?”

I chuckled a bit while motioning for the alien to sit back down. His reaction had been pretty good, perfectly suitable for one of those hammed-up old dramas where the hero realizes they’ve been working with the villain all along.

“We were confused about that too. So we took a look at the information you sent as part of first contact with us. We noticed something interesting. Every single race in your Federation is carnivorous. Why is that?”

The alien seemed smaller somehow as it settled back into a seat. It looked kind of like a balloon slowly losing air, if that balloon was made of moldering gray leather with eyes that made your spinal column decide it wanted a holiday in Fiji.

“First contact has always been made after sapient races make it to multiple worlds. We’ve never found a sapient herbivorous race which failed to destroy themselves in resource wars and aggressive action. We’ve never found herbivores capable of surviving long enough to leave their own world.”

I leaned forward in the chair and smiled while finally making direct eye contact with the alien. I think the poor thing shivered when I did that. Not that I blame it. Imagine your reaction when you start to put the pieces together and realize that your friendly, upstanding next door neighbor might be the world’s most wanted criminal.

“And the races you have found, while commonly using threat displays, do not waste resources on wars they cannot easily win, correct?”

The alien nodded as it slouched a bit in its chair. It looked kind of like it was trying to hide. Who wouldn’t want to hide from the monsters in their closet?

“Wasted resources means decreased likelihood of survival.”

I shrugged. That was true enough, though rather coldly logical. Dispassionate logic like that has never been our strong suit. Then again, that’s why I’m in this situation in the first place, so it evens out.

“And yet herbivores constantly waste resources on aggression, on movement, on having more young than will possibly survive.”

The alien was staring at me. I’m not sure when the last time it blinked was. I wonder if those eyes need some kind of lubrication to keep from drying out. Probably, they looked a bit less creepy than they should’ve. Looked like they were losing their shine.

“And they die for it. That’s exactly why we’ve never encountered spacefaring herbivores. Their inherent aggression is their own demise.”

I held eye contact. I’d almost swear the alien was a weird statue right now. Don’t know who would commission a statue made of old greasy leather, but I’m sure there’s someone with too much money and too little sense who would give it a shot.

“Indeed. Now, back to the subject at hand. I’ll ask you before we continue: what can you offer humans for joining your Federation?”

The alien sputtered as it started moving again. I’d swear it looked offended. Maybe it doesn’t see where this is going. Not that it really matters, I guess. I mean, it probably matters about as much as posting a formal complaint to a new corporate policy, which is to say not at all.

“We’ve already sent the offer. You’ve seen that, I’m sure.”

I nodded, and began to tap out a staccato rhythm on the table with my fingers. I never could remember where I learned this stupid tune. I’ve known it as long as I can remember, and it just moves into my head on occasion and sticks around like that one couchsurfing friend who doesn’t understand the idea of wearing out their welcome.

“And I’m asking, what else do you have to offer?”

The alien just shook its head again, staring at the device. I wonder if it thought we might’ve tampered with it. As if we knew how. That little thing is way beyond our current abilities. We had some scientists pry it open and look inside, just to be sure.

“Nothing. I’m not sure why you’re-”

I raised my hand, cutting him off. Huh. Not sure why that worked. Did they learn that much of our body language? That’s still really creepy, if it’s the case. Or, maybe I just have it on edge. I dunno. I guess it doesn’t matter.

“May I have permission to connect my datapad with my ship’s computers?”

The alien glanced away from me for a moment. I assume it was checking in with superiors somehow. Maybe it was psychic, to an extent. Or maybe they just had an implant of some sort. We’ll find out eventually, I’m sure.

“Yes, if you like.”

I sighed. I guess that makes things easier for us. I don’t think anyone was going to like what I was about to do. This whole thing felt kind of like one of those holovids of an accident, where you know what’s coming and don’t want to keep going, but for some reason you just can’t seem to stop and pull yourself away.

“Computer, show video: Hiroshima”

A screen appeared in the air above my datapad. It started playing back an old, grainy video. Shaky, taken by hand in an aircraft in a firefight. Below, you can barely see a city being blotted out by a massive explosion. A cloud of smoke, fire and debris was rapidly climbing into the sky, billowing, growing, blooming into an eerie and easily recognized mushroom cloud.

“That’s…you’re using weapons of that scale on a population center? How recent was this?”

I shrugged, and closed the video. The screen on my datapad went back to the document I had up earlier. Gotta love how well they managed to predict this whole thing. I made a mental note to recommend a raise for whoever set up that document for me.

“Three centuries ago. Prior to our invention of spaceflight. Part of a much larger conflict. This is a relatively minor example of “overwhelming force”“

“ERROR: NO A-”

“Shut it. Computer, show infosheet: Battle of Stalingrad.”

A series of graphs and diagrams appeared above my datapad. They showed resources, time, maps, battle plans, and death tolls. Images were interspersed throughout, as were annotations on the tactical value of this, the emotional value of that. Prominent among them was a single apartment building, including notes on sniping from the roof and support via tunnels.

“That…what purpose would that…why w-”

Again, I raised my hand to cut him off, before closing the infosheet. Maybe it was both. Nah, couldn’t be. Only way it was both having this guy on edge and our body language is if it somehow had our body language built in. Unsettling thought, but not exactly likely.

“Because Stalingrad was an advantageous location and the people who died there were considered ‘Acceptable losses’“

“ERRO-”

“Computer, show gallery: General Sherman’s March to the Sea.”

A multitude of images appeared over the datapad. Rail lines and roads intentionally broken and destroyed. Farms and fields scoured clean and left to fallow. Buildings and towns razed to the ground. A broken people left to mourn and starve.

“So much waste…that can’t be intentional, can it?”

I glanced at the images, the wanton destruction that campaign caused, and the very orders that caused it. That kind of thing may be considered morally reprehensible now, even a war crime, but it wasn’t always. At the time, the strategy was extolled as one of the reasons the war ended the way it did.

“It was intentional.”

The alien stared at me, its reflective black eyes bigger than I’d ever seen them before. Creepy as all hell, that’s for sure. I’d rather not deal with these kinds of meetings in the future. Maybe after this I could negotiate for some kind of retirement.

“But…why?”

I tapped my datapad and closed the gallery, then leaned back and tossed my feet on the table. May as well relax, I already knew how this was going to end.

“Because it rendered the enemy unable to use resources Sherman couldn’t keep. Computer, assemble and show video grouping: RTS Games”

A large grid of videos came up, showing a huge range of scenes. Largely battle, the settings varied from open space to deep ocean, from early history to the far “future.” Even battles across space and time could be seen.

“The translator can’t have gotten that right. Those are military tactical simulations. Higher level than anything I’ve ever seen or heard of.”

I laughed as I closed out all of the videos and turned back to the alien. Creepy and unsettling as it might be, I’m pretty sure I was terrifying the poor thing. Not that I really felt sorry for it. Not at all.

“No. They aren’t. Those are games. Toys. For. Fun. And they’re a couple hundred years out of date. From what I’ve seen, nearly every human capable of coherent speech is capable of tactically overwhelming your Federation. And since we’re already here, in space, it’s too late for you to say no. So, I’ll ask again:

What do you have to offer us?”

The signs as Alfredo quotes prt 2

Aries: “Sorry, I was not listening.”

Taurus: “He runs like the wind, bullseye.”

Gemini: “I have no pity. Someday I’ll stay for good, but until that day know that you’re my little man with a small surprise.”

Cancer: “Copy- Cope- I’m coping with it.”

Leo: “Believe whatever I tell you and I’ll show you the world or…create…parties.”

Virgo: “This man knows god!”

Libra: “Fun. A four letter word for distraction.”

Scorpio: “Fuck with me, I’ll break your heart!”

Sagittarius: “Excuse me Autumn. Your voice is ruining me.”

Capricorn: “Whatever. You spatter me with a nationality.”

Aquarius: “You should have taken his life when you had the chance.”

Pisces: (reading a Pinche’s Tacos mug) “Pinch…Me? I am dreaming.”