i grew up with this shit ok

what sort of sibling are you: voltron edition

shiro:
- “You’re such an idiot I hate you!” [cooks dinner for them] “You need to learn how to do things for yourself!” [drives them places]
- mum when mum isn’t home
- “DON’T DO THAT YOU’LL HURT YOURSELF, DUMBASS!” is a common phrase

lance:
- you work with your siblings as a unit
- buy the BEST gifts
- the funny sibling

pidge:
- embarrassing sibling
- asks for things even though you’ve done nothing to deserve them and get those things
- you wonder why your parents don’t call your out on more things
- secretive

keith:
- “oh i didn’t know you were related to them”
- “oh i thought you were an only child/only had 1(or more) sibling/s”
- stays in room
- your siblings are slightly afraid to challenge you to a fight

hunk:
- an only child
- you think you know what having a sibling is like, even though you don’t have any
- you actually do know because you have cousins and close friends you grew up with
- happy

matt:
- “I’ll make dinner” (3 hours later) “Oh shit ok I’ll make dinner now.”
- the gay sibling
- very open with their siblings
- “Don’t tell mum and dad but-”

anonymous asked:

‘Once upon a time Viktor insulted me when I was twelve which lead to a lot of hatred, mixed feelings and four years of emotionally complicated sex.’ OMG, I am decreased. If you ever wanted some silly, no-pressure writing to distract from exam stress, a short drabble/trabble fairy tail would be pretty damn amazing.

Once upon a time there was a boy who made a monumental mistake and didn’t even realize it and a boy with a broken heart. They grew up in rivalry and in love and over the years they came to know each other in many different ways. Then shit happened, accusations were thrown, a really angsty 9 months passed and it all worked out ok in the end. And the moral of the story is sex solves nothing, good communication solves everything and interpretive dance isn’t a good way to confess your love to someone who is a little bit dense. 

rant

“ur Concrete argument is invalid, shes a gem, not human, she has no race uwu”

look at me in the eye as we watch We are Siamese and tell me those two cats, not humans mind you, weren’t stereotypes Chinese people

Look at me DEAD in the eye and tell me the crows form Dumbo, though not human, are not stereotypes of black people

The centaur from Fantasia? That had no purpose other than to be a young black centaur serving the oh more gorgeous looking obviously white-coded centaur? Even though??? They’e both not human?? They’re centaurs!! uwu (Also don’t come at me saying she’s not in Fantasia, she was in the original releases. You see, due to well oh lookie here CRITICISMS, she was removed)

Compared to the more ~exotic~ Zebrataurs (who don’t appear in this video), both black coded, how come the little black coded girl gets removed? Oh yeah cus she was a fucking caricature. The zebrataurs was pretty darn fucked up too but they deliberately made the little black an ugly caricature, while the zebrataurs looked like your typical Disney style, why? cus she’s not ~exotic~ she’s just some n*gger, n*ggers aren’t beautiful. 

And this is shit I grew up with so of course I’m fucking heated, this shit is beyond SU Criticisms™ 

Like ok I get it, she didn’t make it in canon or whatever. But someone looked at this and said… “Weeeeell Concrete looks alright enough we can put her in a KIDS ARTBOOK” and the fact that not one but TWO people of the Crewinverse had the audacity to draw and write that shit and thought it was ok. 

3

elf: san myshuno?? that’s really cool! miles is from there i think. don’t they have a pretty big art scene and shit..?

sylvie: mhm.. it’s pretty nice.. i grew up in the spice district so it was mostly grafitti and stuff but.. it had character to it. y-you’re from the city? did you go to school around there or..

miles: didn’t stay long, parents split.

sylvie: o-oh.. sorry..

miles: ok?

elf: you’ll have to show us it sometime! i’m really into painting myself, i don’t think he could draw a stick figure. he’s not to shabby at guitar though, i give him that much.

sylvie: that’s really cool.. i play a little piano.. maybe we could play together sometime..

miles: i don’t really play nice with others.

elf: you SHOULD!! maybe sometime when he’s not acting like a big old grump.

miles: ?????

bang bang alley ~ Part four

Originally posted by royalseunghyun

Theme ~ Mafia/gangster AU

Pairing ~ Choi Seung hyun x reader

Rating ~ Angst/fluff/smut

Warnings ~ Violence, language and smut

Series one ~ | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Series two

“So when do you want to set the date for the big day?” Dong-won asked as he opened the limousine door for you.

He always got chauffeured around, one of the perks you enjoyed about him being a CEO of a multi million dollar company….. or so you thought.

“I always thought spring would be nice, right when the cherry blossoms are in bloom” you said as you got in.

“You want me to wait that long? We’re only in winter” he joked as he got in behind you.

Daesung couldn’t believe his eyes, they had to be playing a trick on him, a girl like you would never be involved with someone like him. He sat on his motorbike, flicking through the photos on his digital camera to make sure he got clear shots of what he had just seen when his phone rang.

“Hey boss”

“Have you got anything yet?”

“Yeah…. I think maybe I do” he said as he zoomed in on a particular photo.

“Good, come back to the club, I want to see it right away”

“Ok, but boss….. I think you’re going to want to see this alone or at least without hyung”

“Very well, just hurry up and get back here”


Seung hyun swore to himself as he carried a crate of guns down the hallway, this sought of shit kicking job was normally reserved for the new recruits or that little smart mouth Seungri as a punishment for speaking out of turn, he was the newest one that was entrusted in the main circle and was still learning the ropes. He wasn’t a bad guy, he grew up in a more western lifestyle where he was used to speaking out against his elders, that and he was a spoilt little rich kid. Seung hyun could never get why someone like him would want to join a gang when he didn’t need to, but he couldn’t deny that the kid had skills, he had proved himself on many occasions. He was one hell of a getaway driver and could talk his way out of almost any situation he got himself into.

“Was this why Kang was so weird?”

Seung hyun stopped outside the door to the office when he heard Seungri’s voice, why would he be in there and not Seung hyun.

“I’m not sure”

Jiyongs voice was barely audible so he moved closer to the door.

“He didn’t even glace at the rest of us, only you and hyung” he heard Taeyang say.

‘What the fuck, is everyone but me in there?’ Seung hyun thought to himself as he clenched his jaw.

“Nobody tell him about this, not until we know for sure”

The corner of Seung hyun’s jaw twitched when he heard Jiyong say that, how could he keep something from the one he had know the longest.

Seung hyun dropped the box of unloaded weapons and opened the door, the four men were stood around the computer, their heads whipped towards the door as soon as it opened.

“Don’t tell me what?” he asked as he furrowed his brow.

“Hyung please” Jiyong pleaded to try and keep him calm.

“What are you looking at?” Seung hyun asked as he tried to make his way around the desk but Taeyang stopped him.

“Hyung I promise I will tell you, you just need to let me confirm this before we jump into anything” Jiyong said holding up his hand like he was trying to control a wild animal.

“No, tell me now” Seung hyun demanded.

“Hyung don’t do this, let me get the facts first”

“Just fucking tell me” Seung hyun shouted.

“Boss, it pretty much is what it is, I think you should let him see it” Daesung stated.

Jiyong threw his hands up as he walked away from the computer. Seung hyun pushed passed Taeyang and stood in front of the screen, it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust, the colour ran out of his face and a feeling of dread crashed over his body as he realised what he was looking at. You were kissing that psycho Dong-won and you looked like you were enjoying it, grasping at his suit jacket while he had his arms around you.

“Why the fuck does he have his filthy hands on her?” Seung hyun asked with a growl.

“We think she’s the one he’s getting married to” Jiyong said sympathetically.

“See the ring on her finger” Daesung said as he pointed to the screen.

“No, she wouldn’t….” Seung hyun paused as he processed everything.

You did say you’re boyfriend had proposed, but there wasn’t a chance in hell that you would be with a monster like him, would you? When Seung hyun heard your live in boyfriend had popped the question he decided the best thing was to drive you away from him and towards a more decent man, to sacrifice his happiness for your own, but he never thought of the possibility that he could have been driving you towards someone far worse then himself.

“Her friend, Hyorin, is she still here?” Seung hyun asked Jiyong with a look of desperation.

“I’ll get her” he replied before rushing out the door.

Seung hyun racked his brain trying to figure out what you saw in this man, he was a power hungry sociopath with psychotic tendencies.

“Where are we going?” Hyorin asked as she was ushered through the door to the office.

Seung hyun grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the computer.

“What is she doing with him?” he growled as he pointed at the screen.

“Why do you have a picture of _____?” Hyorin asked confused.

“Just answer the fucking question” Seung hyun yelled making her wince.

“Hyung, your scaring her… Jagi, could you please answer him?” Jiyong asked calmly.

“That’s Dong-won, she’s been with him for three years”

“Fuck” Seung hyun let out in frustration as he raked his hand through his hair, this was the man he had driven you to.

“He’s really quite nice, even though he goes on a lot of business trips, he’s the CEO of some stock exchange company”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” Seung hyun growled as he began pacing back and forth, how could you be so naïve to believe his bullshit.

“I guess that’s how he explains his wealth and late night business to her” Jiyong said looking at Seung hyun sympathetically.

“What’s going on?” Hyorin asked confused.

“This guy is not a CEO and he is most definitely not a nice guy, he’s a gang boss and a relentless murderer” Taeyang told her.

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Trust us, we know” Jiyong said with raised eyebrows, Hyorin’s mouth dropped open as the reality of the situation set in.

“We have to warn her" she stated looking around at the men.

“She has a tail, I’d say it’s one of his. A guy like that wouldn’t let his prized woman walk around freely, especially when he hasn’t broken her in yet” Daesung said calmly.

“What do you mean 'hasn’t broken here in yet'” Hyorin asked as she turned to Daesung but he didn’t acknowledge her.

“That would explain why he was saying all that weird shit the other night, he knows about you, he knows she’s come to see you twice now” Jiyong told Seung hyun who had now stopped pacing and was leaning on the desk, chewing on his bottom lip as he stared at the picture.

“Would someone tell me what the fuck you’re talking about?” Hyorin shouted, trying to get them to finally pay attention to her.

“You’re friends in danger, we need to get her away from him but we have to be careful, if he finds out his illusion has been shattered……” Seungri paused knowing the end of the sentence was too much for her to hear.

“What?” she asked, her eyes pleading with him.

“But none of us can get close to her, not now he’s revealed his hand, he had to know we would follow him….. his men would know what we all look like” Taeyang said changing the subject.

“I can do it” Hyorin offered, the men looked between each other considering the possibility. “I’m her best friend, they wouldn’t be following me unless I were with her which means they probably wouldn’t know I was here. They wouldn’t suspect me, not until it was too late”

“She has a point” Daesung said.

“I don’t know” Jiyong said as he turned away from them.

“Please Jiyong, let me help my friend” she asked placing a hand on his shoulder


“What do you think of this one?” you asked Jenny as you passed her your phone, she screwed her face up as soon as she saw it making you giggle.

“I don’t think it’s…… you” she said politely passing the phone back.

“Ok, I’ll keep looking” you said with a smile as you flicked through your phone.

The bell on the shop door rang, you quickly put your phone away so the customer wouldn’t see you sitting around looking at it, you knew how much they hated that. You looked up ready to greet the customer, your face beamed as soon as saw who it was.

“Hyorin, you’re just in time, we were looking at wedding dresses” you said giving her a hug.

“Oh really, can I see?” she asked glancing at Jenny, the guys had told her not to trust anyone.

“Sure” you answered grabbing your phone.

“No, in your office” Hyorin said abruptly.

“Ok…” you said furrowing your brow as you looked at her, she was acting weird.

“What kind of a best friend would I be if I let you look at them on that small thing, you can’t see any of the detail” she said as she smiled widely at you.

“What would I do without you?” you asked as you began to walk to your office.

You walked in and sat down at your computer immediately typing, Hyorin looked around as she closed the door.

“There’s this one that I’ve been looking at that I want to show you” you said as you clicked at the mouse not paying attention to what your friend was doing.

“Sweetie I need to talk to you” Hyorin said as she turned on the radio.

“Sure, what is it?” you asked still focusing on the screen.

“This is serious” she said as she turned your chair to face her.

“Ok…..?” you said looking up at her.

“It’s about Dong-won” she said kneeling in front of you.

“What about him?” you asked cocking your head to the side.

“You can’t marry him, he’s not what you think he is” she said as she grabbed your hand.

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s not a CEO, he’s the boss of a gang… a really bad one” she told you as she gave your hand a squeeze.

“Ha ha, nice joke” you said as you shook your head. “Now would you like to see the dress?”

“I’m serious. Why do you think you’ve never been to his office?”

“Hyorin, this really isn’t…..”

“Why has he never once introduced you to someone he works with?” she said cutting you off.

“Because he wants to keep his private life and his work life separate, he needs to keep a hard image in front of his staff” you said slightly irritated that she would even think that of him.

“Exactly…..” she said with a slightly raised voice, you scanned her face looking for a sign that she was joking but you only found desperation in her eyes.

“Where did you even come up with this?” you asked but she didn’t reply, you shook your head as you figured out the answer and pulled your hand away from hers. “They are playing you Hyorin, their the ones that are in a gang”

“No, you’re the one that’s getting played. These guys are pussy cats compared to Dong-won”

“They lie, cheat and steal for a living, not to mention kill…” you yelled at her.

“They want to help you, that’s why I’m here” she pleaded but you held your hand up to stop her.

“I don’t need their help and Dong-won isn’t what they say he is” you said standing up and grabbing your bag. “And I’m going to prove it to you”

“Please _____, don’t do this” Hyorin begged as she watched you walk out the door.


“Can I help you Miss?” a voiced asked you as you looked at the sign, trying to figure out what floor you should head to.

You turned around to see a well dressed lady smiling at you.

“Yes, I’m here to see Mr Kang” you said returning the smile.

“And what department does he work in?”

“He’s the CEO” you said and the woman frowned.

“I’m sorry but our CEO’s name is Mr Lee, are you sure you have the right building?” she asked politely.

“That can’t be right, he said this was where he worked” you replied, the smile on your face was beginning to fade.

“Well as you can see, our CEO is Mr Lee” she said pointing to a large photo of an old man on the wall.

You couldn’t believe it, he had lied to you.

“I’m sorry for wasting your time” you apologised to the woman as you rushed past her.

You felt like you couldn’t breath, you practically ran out of the building as the need for air rushed up inside you. The buildings outside felt as though they were spinning as you tried to run through everything in your head. How could he lie to you? Why would he lie? You trusted him, you never asked to many question, every good relationship needs trust and you wanted to show him that by being patient and letting him open up in his own time. You never imagined that what he told you was a lie but he couldn’t be what they said he was, he wasn’t that kind of person.

“Miss _____, are you ok?” a man asked as he approached you.

“How do you know my name?” you asked stepping back from him.

“I work for Mr Kang, he sent me to get you” he said with a smile.

“But how did he know I was here?”

“He didn’t, I drove to your shop to get you and I saw you getting in a taxi so I followed you here”

“Oh”

“If you would come with me I will take you to him” he said as he bowed and pointed to a familiar looking limousine. You nodded, the man opened the door and you hesitated for a moment.

“Why does no one in this building know who he is?” you asked narrowing your eyes at him.

“Mr Kang will explain everything when you get there”

“Very well” you said before getting in.


“Where are we?” you asked the man behind you as he lead you down the dirty hallway of a run down building. Paint was peeling off the walls and holes had started to form in them from all the water damaged, the building looked as if it had been abandoned for a long time.

“This way Miss ____” he said pointing to a doorway at the end of the hall.

You walked up to the door and opened it, the room looked just as bad as the rest of the place, half a dozen men in black suits were stood around the room. One of them had his back to you, the man who had brought you there walked up to him and whispered something in his ear and you heard him tisk.

“Dong-won?” you asked and he turned around, his face was stone cold and he appeared unmoved by your presence. “Dong-won what’s going on?”

“Why did you do it?” he asked, his face still cold.

“Do what?” you asked confused and he scoffed.

“Why did you have to go to the office and ruin everything?” he asked as he approached you.

“Apparently I was right to, you lied to me” you said as your eyes began to fill up and he laughed, this man was not the same man you knew, that man would never laugh at someone who was in pain.

“I hope this doesn’t change anything between us kitten, I had such big plans for you” he said reaching out to touch you but you hit his hand away making him chuckle.

“What are you talking about?” you asked with anger clear in your voice.

“You know, I tried to be patient with you, to put up with all your touchy feely shit until the time was right and I was so god damn close but you had to fuck it up” he said as he walked around you like a predator prowling around it’s prey.

“I want to leave” you said sternly.

“And let you run to him? I don’t fucking think so” he said with a scoff.

“Who?”

“You know exactly who I’m talking about”

“No I don't” you said. Out of the corner of your eye you caught a glimpse of the back of Dong-won’s hand before he slapped you hard across the face, the force sending you to the ground. You held your cheek as you looked up at him towering over you, his eyes were dark and full of hate but something about the look on his face, a look you had seen long ago but still imprinted in your mind, the look he was enjoying this.

“You think I don’t fucking know about him, about what you’ve been doing? I’ve had one of my men following you since we started dating, I know everything” he shouted as he picked you up off the ground by the jaw, his fingers digging in to the flesh as he held on to it tightly. “Everything was going fine until you started running around with that piece of shit”

“Please let me go” you begged with tears running down your cheeks, Dong-won chuckled before throwing you to the ground with a thud.

“You need to be taught a lesson, so you never forget your place” he said before turning around and waving his hand.

Two men picked you up off the ground and dragged you down the hallway as you kicked and screamed trying to break free, they threw you in a room and closed the door, the sound of it locking closely followed.

Adrenaline surged through your body as you looked around the room for a way to get out but it was too dark, the only light coming through a small gap in the boarded up window from a street lamp outside. You made your way to the window and tried to pull out the board, but it was no use, the board was nailed down to well. You sighed looking around the room, you could barely see anything, only an old style bed that had been exposed from the light. It had a rounded metal bed head with bars running down it and you noticed one of them had been broken in half. You rushed over to the bed and laid on it with your legs facing the bed head and kicked the broken bar, it fell out straight away, you paused watching the door and listen for anyone coming from the sound it made when it hit the floor. After a few minutes you picked up the pole and headed to the window, you placed one of it’s ends in the gap and levered it back, popping the nails. You moved the poll as far as as you could towards the other end of the board and repeated the action, this time bringing the board underneath with it. The boards landed with a thump but you didn’t wait to see if anyone had heard it, you climbed out of the gap and ran, as you got to the end of the building you turned your head to see if anyone was coming when you bumped into something and a hand came down over your mouth, another around your waist. You struggled as the person dragged you into the alley way and behind a dumpster.

“Shhhh it’s ok, it’s Daesung, I’m here to help you” he whispered in your ear and you stopped struggling. “I’m going to let go of you but you need to be quiet and do as I say, ok?” he said and you nodded.

As soon as he let go you span around to look at him, mostly just to make sure it was him.

“I don’t think they know I’m gone yet” you whispered.

As soon as you said the words you heard a door being slammed followed by a loud 'find the bitch’, Daesung pushed you flat against the wall as you heard footsteps running past the alley way, he waited for a moment until everything was clear. He grabbed your hand and lead you towards the opposite end of the alley, he looked out making sure it was clear. He pulled you out into the street and lead you towards a black van, the back doors flung open, Jiyong and Seung hyun were looking back at you from inside, Daesung ushered you in and closed the door behind him. As soon as you were in the van it sped off, you looked around at the men, when you got to Seung hyun he looked away.

“Anyone following?” Jiyong called.

“No one sir” Taeyang replied from the passenger seat.

“Good, so it went well then?” Jiyong asked looking over at Daesung.

“Pretty easy actually, she saved herself” Daesung said in an amused tone.

“Where are we going?” you asked Jiyong.

“A safe house, Hyorin is already there waiting for you” he told you with a small smile.

As soon as you walked inside the house Hyorin ran towards you an threw her arms around you.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you” you said returning the hug.

“It’s ok, you’re safe now” she said as she lent back to look at you. “Oh my god, your face”

“I’m ok” you smiled.

“Take this” Seung hyun interrupted holding out a wet damp towel full of ice.

“Thanks” you said as you grabbed the towel.

As soon as it was out of his hand, he walked away and up a large set of stairs before disappearing, your heart sank a little. You had hoped he had wanted to talk to you or at least tell you he was happy you were safe, he’s expressionless face told you different. You walked into the lounge and sat on the couch with Hyorin and Jiyong as you held the towel to your cheek, your mouth dropped open as you looked around at the beauty of the house.

“Where are we?” you asked still looking around at the extravagant items that adorned the room.

“My house” Jiyong said with a grin.

“This is yours?” you asked dumbfounded making him laugh.

“Don’t be so surprised” he chuckled and you blushed from embarrassment.

“Sorry, I just didn’t think you had this much money”

“It’s fine, there’s a lot of money in selling weapons”

“Is that all you do?” you asked biting your bottom lip, you were unsure if you were asking too much.

“Well we don’t sell drugs if that’s what you’re asking and as for the other nasty stuff, we try to avoid it if we can”

“You mean killing someone?” you asked and Jiyong nodded.

“Up stairs is clear” Seung hyun announced as he descended the stairs.

“Good, shall we?” Jiyong asked Hyorin and she turned to you.

“I’m fine, go enjoy yourself” you said with a smile.

“I’m glad your ok” she said before getting off the couch and heading up stairs with Jiyong.

You stared at Seung hyun as he stood at the foot of the stairs looking back at you, shifting uncomfortably every now and again in the silence that filled the room.

“I can show you your room, I’m sure you would want to get cleaned up after all that” he said as he shifted again, you nodded in response before getting of the couch and following him upstairs.

Seung hyun opened the door and let you in, walking in behind you.

“There’s some fresh clothes on the bed and a bathroom just off to the side there” he said as he pointed to one of two doors that stood side by side.

“What’s behind the other one?” you asked.

“My room, all these rooms are connected in case something happens” Seung hyun said before turning to walk out.

“Seung hyun?” you called and he turned to look at you. “Thank you”

“It’s fine” he said as he stared at you. “If you need anything just ask me” he said as he retreated out the door.

You sighed to yourself as you made your way to the bathroom, you turned on the shower and walked to the mirror to inspect the damage on your face. You ran your fingers over the welt on your cheek bone and looked down at your jaw, turning your head to the side as you noticed the bruising in the shape of finger marks from where Dong-won had held you already starting to set in. The engagement ring that was still on your finger caught your eye, you took it off and threw it in the sink before getting undressed and jumping in the shower.

You couldn’t believe he had tricked you, he seemed so sweet and nice but it was all just a game to him, a sick and twisted game. The past three years of your life had been a complete lie and if it hadn’t been for Seung hyun and the guys you would have married him, god knows what would have happened then, he said he had big plans for you.

You got out of the shower and wrapped the towel around you, you walked back in to the bedroom and picked up the clothes on the end of the bed. A tear fell from your eye as you recognised them. 'He kept them’ you thought to yourself as you put on the over sized sweater and shorts. After all these years he kept something as silly as the clothes you left at his dorm for when you slept over.

You walked over to the door that connected your rooms and opened it, stepping into the darkness.

“Is everything ok?” Seung hyun asked worried as he sat up in bed

“No” you said as you walked over to him.

“What is it?” he asked as he began to get out of bed but you stopped him by placing your hand on his bare chest.

“You kept these?” you asked, your eyes adjusted to the dark and you could see his face clearly. He was looking back at you, his face was now soft, a harsh contrast from earlier.

“You kept my ring” he said cupping your face and you could feel his heart thumping in his chest.

“It was all I had left of you” you said sitting beside him.

“They were all I had left of you” he replied with a slight smile but it soon disappeared. “I’m sorry for pushing you away, I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was saving you from a life like this not pushing you towards something worse”

“You don’t have to apologise, it’s not your fault”

“Yes it is, if I hadn’t done that then you….”

“Would have married him” you said cutting him off. “If you hadn’t have came back into my life I would have still been with him, stupidly unaware of his true nature until it was too late”

Seung hyun closed his eyes as the possibilities of what could have become of you flashed through his mind.

You watched as a look of pain washed over Seung hyuns face, it broke your heart knowing it was because of you but it also made you feel closer to him then you had in a long time. You snaked your hand around the back of his neck and moved closer, placing your lips on his. A tingle of electricity sprouted through your lips and spread throughout your body from the contact, Seung hyun placed an arm around your back and pulled you towards him as he deepened the kiss. You raked your hands through his hair as you climbed on to his lap and started to grind into him, earning yourself a low groan from him. Seung hyuns hands trailed down your back to your ass, lightly squeezing it as he helped you rock back and forth. You broke the kiss so you could look him in the eyes, softly panting as you felt him getting harder underneath you and you felt yourself getting wet. He lifted one of his hands to brush the hair away from your neck so he could place kisses on the spot he knew drove you crazy, making you moan as soon as he hit it.

“Oppa” you cried out between your moans as the bubble inside your abdomen grew larger.

You had missed this, you had missed him. Seung hyun was always gentle with you, the contrast between him and Dong-won was great. Seung hyun always made love to you whereas the other treated it as sex, it was always more sensual, more enjoyable when you were with Seung hyun.

You pushed him away and pulled the sweat shirt over your head and threw it across the room, Seung hyun took a moment, comparing how your body had changed yet was still the same from when you were younger. You were a woman now, your breasts were fuller then what he remembered and the curve of your body had filled out into more of an hour glass figure, he never imagined you could be more beautiful then you were back then.

“Are you sure?” he asked looking up at you and you giggled. He hadn’t changed that much after all, here you were half naked and riding him and he is asking if you’re sure.

“I’m sure” you said smiling back at him.

He held on to you as he stood up before placing you gently on the bed and making sure your head was on the pillow, he grabbed one of your breasts and kneaded it as he took the other in his mouth, he slowly flicked your nipple with his tongue. You moaned louder as you felt the bubble getting tighter inside and you realised how wet he had made you, he switched breasts, making sure to pay equal attention between the two.

“Oppa” you moaned and you heard him grunt in response.

He moved his kisses down your stomach painfully slow, he hooked his fingers under your shorts and pulled them off, letting them drop to the ground behind him. He grabbed your ankles and straightened your legs out up right so he could place kisses on the sensitive spots behind your knees before putting them on his shoulders, he kissed down the inside of each of your thighs, stopping just before your core each time.

“Seung hyun, please” you begged breathlessly, you were so worked up, you needed a release.

He placed his hands on the inside of your thighs and used his thumbs to open your core, you clenched and you felt your juices run down yourself, he ran his tongue up the entire length of you making you moan. Seung hyun used his tongue to run circles around your entrance, you clenched again as you felt his tongue enter you and come back out again. He ran his tongue back up and flicked your clit with it, you arched your back at the hot flush that ran through your body, he knew you were close. Seung hyun placed his mouth over your clit and began to suck on it as he entered you with one finger, your hands clutched tightly at the corners of the pillow as you felt the bubble starting to come undone. Seung hyun saw the muscles in your lower abdomen starting to contract so he hooked his finger upwards and began to pump it while switching between sucking and nibbling on your clit.

“Oh god…… Seung hyun……” You screamed as your thighs closed around his head and you came.

Seung hyun pushed your thighs back down and stood up to take his boxers off before climbing on to you, he placed his lips against yours as he lifted your thigh and entered you, sliding in with ease from all your juices. Seung hyun pumped himself in and out of you, the bubble that he had helped burst just moments before started to build up again. Seung hyun pushed himself all the way inside of you to stretch you out and you dug your nails into his back from the intense feeling it gave you making him growl

“God I missed you” he said lifting his head up to look at you, he always loved the way you looked when you moaned. “I love you princess”

“I love you too” you replied sweetly.

Seung hyun lent his forehead against yours and looked deep into your eyes as he slightly picked up the pace, your moans became more frequent as you clawed at his back, you were close again and you could tell he was too by the twitch in his jaw. He felt your body begin to quiver under him so he placed his hand on your pelvic bone and began to run circles around your clit with his thumb. Within a matter of seconds you came undone, your hips jerked forward as you clenched around him and called out his name. He couldn’t stop it, your body’s reaction to him and the moaning of his name sent him over the edge, the only thing he could do was to ride it out for the both of you.

You laid there staring into each others eyes panting as he was still inside you.

“I promise you I will never let him near you ever again”

anonymous asked:

Boyf riends and 33?

Here ya go Anon!!

After the Squip incident Michael and Jeremy were inseparable. After Jeremy’s and Christine’s break up, Michael and Jeremy were still inseparable. Michael had liked Jeremy for as long as he could remember and now he was going to finally ask him out on a date.

“Hey Jer, my buddy, what’s up?”

Michael found Jeremy carrying his lunch tray outside, they talked and walked. “Nothing much. You?” Jeremy looked Michael straight in the eyes as he spoke, something he never did until the Squip came. His eyes were the most beautiful thing in the world to Michael, that and the smile that graced his lips when he talked about video games or when he just talked in general. Michael couldn’t take it, his face grew darker than normal.

“Nothing, nothing at all, nope. Why would you think something is up? I am talking to you so I guess that would be up.” Michael tried to hide his face in his jacket but he didn’t want to look weirder than normal.

“Michael are you ok? You seem, I don’t know, kinda off.” Jeremy worriedly asked as he sat on the patio.

“I’m fine. Just thinking about things is all” Michael

“What kind of things?”

Michael cringed “shit, I don’t know Jeremy. Do you want to, maybe, go out with me?” Michael put all his thoughts on a tree in the distance not wanting to look at his friends face.

“Of course” Jeremy stood up placing a hand a Michael’s shoulder.

“What? Really?” Michael’s face beamed. Was this really happening, was he going to go on a date with his all time crush/best friend.

“Really, really” Jeremy smiled

Michael pulled Jeremy into an embrace and whispered into his ear. “This has been my dream for forever” “Me too.” When they pulled away he saw Jeremy eying something in the distance. “What? What is it?” Michael asked wanting to kill whatever ruined their moment. “Did that person just take a picture of us?” Michael looked over to the spot Jeremy was talking about only to see Jenna Roland with a camera aimed at them with Rich, Jake, Brooke, and Chloe behind a tree beside her. “Fucking finally, i’ve been waiting for them to get together foreverrrr! Rich yelled They seemed to noticed that the two were looking at them because Michael heard a faint word that sounded like “scatter” and they ran off as fast as they could.

“I am going to strangle them” Michael huffed

“How about after our date?” Jeremy smirked putting an arm around Michael.

“Yeah yeah, Jerbear” Michael complied kissing Jeremy’s forehead.

“I will pay them for those pictures though”

If This is It

Aka a BittyJackDex fic (idfk what else to call them)

For the 14 Days of Love Fic-a-thon hosted by @softkent

Also on AO3


The day after Hazeapalooza, Shitty sat the frogs down and gave them the “Samwell Talk”.

“Because sex is somehow different here,” Dex chirped incredulously.

“No this is the ‘your emotions are valid and this happens to everyone’ talk,”  

Thus, Shitty commenced a long discussion about how typical it was for Frogs, of any sport, to develop crushes on their older teammates.

“We’re having this talk because all of you displayed some major crushin’ behavior last night,” Shitty waggles his eyebrows.

Dex averted his gaze, noticing how Chowder and Nursey were blushing profusely.

“No shame bras, but you should know you have two viable options.” Shitty held up two fingers, motioning to his index finger. “Numero uno, you decide that your feelings—while totally valid—are a phase and let them die out on their own. Numero dos, go talk to that person you have a crush on and hash it out. Not saying you won’t have to get over your feelings anyway. But closure can be nice.”  

“You said this happens to everyone?” Dex questions.

“Chyeah, I had the biggest crush on this guy on my line my Frog year,” Shitty grins with a conspiratory gleam in his eye.  “Sometimes it works out too. Like, the captain from that year is engaged to the goalie before Johnson.”

“What about you Bitty?” Nursey interjects.

Bitty’s face goes crimson, “oh well, I think I liked everyone at one point or another last year. But that was more of me realizing that there were men out there who could return my feelings if I had them. Y’all it’s really ok if your feelings are something you work through on your own. It’s whatever makes you comfortable.”

Dex thinks about how Nursey was drooling over Holster and how Chowder was trying not to make eye contact with Wicks. He knows why he’s involved with this shit. He remembers talking to Jack about his ass. But it doesn’t count. This isn’t some temporary crush for his beefed-up captain. This wasn’t his gay awakening or some shit that Nursey would probably assume of him (like he always does).

He was in hockey because of Jack Zimmermann.

Keep reading

my heart goes to to every heartbroken nerd such as myself who grew up listening to lp’s music. i remember this being one of the first bands i was really interested and invested in, from readin shit fanfics to finding genuine comfort in their lyrics during my troubled teenage years

what a fuckin bummer…

Tokyo Ghoul RE No wonder Mutsuki fell for Haise

Note: I just realized this after reading chapter 114 and i din’t pick it up at first while I guess most people already did.

Ok  so Mutsuki grew up in an abusive home clearly not getting any love what so ever and simple treated like shit, her father is a piece of shit and it seems her mother is too scared to do anything about it.

Then after she (Yes im calling Mutsuki a she but that’s a whole another topic) is orphaned by her own hands she becomes Haise “student” she is clearly suprised by how nice he is towards her and then.

This part reminds me so much of the scene from boku dake where another abused character is treated with a proper breakfast for the first time that gives her a feeling of someone cares about her and that’s what I believe Mutsuki felt. Haise was the person who gave her that fatherly love she never had before and in turn she fell in love with him. And I actually think that Mutsuki has become (EDIT: I mean she has always been a psychopath but it’s just not as suppressed anymore) psychopathic is not just because of Torso, but also that Haise wans’t there for Mutsuki after the Tsukiyama extrermination.  

But with that, look at how much Mutsuki has developed as a person going from being shy to more confident and then over to her psychopathic side.

OK but can dudes stop using their mental illness/autism/disability to shame people into letting them be complete assholes?

I am not saying that women do NOT do this. I am saying that I run in disability-centred circles. I’ve been physically and neurologically disabled since I was an infant, and mentally ill from childhood. I grew up with this. And have seen it TWICE, in women. Conversely, I can’t name three disabled men I know off the top of my head who have never used that shit when I asked them to respect a boundary, told them I wasn’t interested in them, or asked them to stop being obnoxious or hurtful. It’s fucking disgusting, and it suggests that these men fundamentally believe that MY disability, or MY mental illness is somehow LESS of an issue for me, when it comes to socializing, or dealing with people’s poor perceptions of me, which is absolutely disrespectful.

It is NOT ableism to say that if you cannot treat people with basic kindness, respect and decency, you cannot have close relationships. If you can’t HELP but be hurtful, harmful, or disrespectful? You don’t get to complain that people find you untrustworthy, are uncomfortable with you, or don’t really want to be around you.

Access to anyone you might want to form a relationship with is NOT a human right, no matter how much you want it to be.

Originally posted by skruj

Prompt: Ok, so I was wondering if u could do an imagine where the reader is a prospect and he used to be an acrobat in the circus, so he’s really flexible and can parkour and stuff. The guys go on a run, but they can’t figure out how to get in, so the reader winds up doin like really cool parkour and afterwards they all call him a spider monkey and he tells them about growing up in the circus? Please?
Word Count: 651
Warnings:
A/N: So I’m on vacation and I finally got some time to myself to write this and I also got some motivation to start a new story I want to publish if I can get it to where it needs to be. So hooray.

Keep reading

ittybittydally  asked:

Hi love! Can I request a hc on a lazy day w dally? And maybe some 😏😏 at the end of the day? 😂❤️

YES. I LIVE FOR LAZY DAYS WITH DALLAS!!!! AND HAY GURL


- Ok sooooo much cuddling
- like y'all don’t move for a good couple hours of the day
- He loves playing with your hair, secretly tho
- like he will whine and complain when u first ask him then when u give up he will like try to subtly go to you and like will grab strands of your hair and kinda twirl them then he will start playing them and he loves it so much cuz later his hands smell like your shampoo
- he likes to cuddle face to face with his face in ur neck and like chest area
- whenever he’s about to fall asleep he kinda hums to soothe himself
- he’s done it since he was a kid
- you play with his hair to and he would never admit but he loved that even more than playing with ur hair
- all nighters (sexual or not) are usually followed by lazy days
- you guys would watch movie
- correction you would watch the movie and dally would like stare at you and give you quick kisses on anywhere he could reach
- doesn’t like to have lazy days in T-shirts
- only white tanks or no shirt at all
- tells you the corniest jokes
- HE HAS THE MESSIEST HAIR ALL DAY
- he’s is just really relaxed and at peace and he is just so happy and that rarely happens so it’s special
- TICKLE FIGHTS
- and dance parties
- HE LOVES ICE CREAM OK
- SO MUCH ICE CREAM
- AND COKE
- he is honestly such a bug
- he will picker his lips (intensely) and just like wait until you kiss him
- then he goes ‘don’t ever tell any of the gang I did that.’
- ok actually getting him to open up just a little bit and like you would be telling funny stories from ur childhood and he would kinda just quietly smile at you and then u would be like Dally tell me bout urs and oh mah gahd he would be like WHAAAAA she actually cares?????
- ‘Oh I don’t doll. It wasn’t as great as yours.’
- 'But it was you and I wanna know. If you’re comfortable though.’
- he then stay silent and u would be like well shit then he starts
- 'I grew up in New York with my folks, everything was great until my ma started getting into crack. I remember in the beginning she would tell me to close my eyes while she shot the heroin then when she was all done and cleaned up she would tell me to open my eyes because all the bad things went away. Then she started to not care. I think i really lost all sense of childhood and innocence when I saw my ma shoot heroin.’
- tbh you would want to cry but try and keep it together for him and when he was done you would just be like 'I love you, so much.’
- Dallas in sweatpants
- Dallas giggling then trying to hide it

I FORGOT THE 😏😏
- ok towards the end of the day Dallas would get a lot more touchy feely
- he would like rub his hand over ur sides
- then start kissing ur neck
- after a while you would kind be like oh
- oH
- he would like make it a point to fuck in every room in the house and on almost every piece of furniture and wall
- then u guys would kinda just cuddle on the couch still naked with you laying on top of him and him holding you SO TIGHT LIKE HE WOULD JUST NOT LET YOU GO AND HE WOULD LIKE PRESS KISSES TO YOUR FOREHEAD
- ugh I want to have a lazy day with Dallas

anonymous asked:

listen. listen. alfor made the lions. did he make the white lion, and it kinda flew up into the heavens and he never saw it again and just kinda. never told anyone about it

OK *cracks knuckles* i have stuff abt this

So, Alfor built the lions we all know that, but what nobody knew is that he had enough material for a sixth lion, and was building one at the time he made the others. But tensions stared to rise as their threat against the unknown grew, and Zarkon started becoming more unreasonable. Alfor did what thought was best and hid the lion away from everyone during production–maybe he wanted one for Altea alone, who knows. 

And so, in the dark of an underground hangar, the white lion was developed. But upon completion it seemed to turn on its crew, locking everyone out. It stayed locked up, refusing to take a paladin, proving more judgmental than even the red lion, who took to Alfor easily. 

But then the war began, and the universe fell into chaos. Alfor and his remaining alchemists begged it to see reason, and when it still refused to open up, they decided to send it far away into the depths of space, hoping it would never be found by the Galra. History then forgot about the last lion and it slept for centuries. (Not even Allura knew of its existence. Coran probably did though)

Until the universe was hanging in the balance. A paladin has died in both body and mind, and has been reborn again. The white lion, guardian of the light, the wings and armor of voltron, wakes for the first time, finally choosing her paladin.

Finders Keepers

Stanley Pines hadn’t really planned on kids, but then, they managed to find him anyway.

A little Father’s Day tribute (a day late, whoops) to not just a great dad uncle, but the greatest uncle!


Soon I’ll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold
Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me?

-Lukas Graham, Seven Years


Stan Pines always figured he would have kids someday. Sometime after his “ew, girls are icky” phase and the following “okay, girls ain’t so bad,” yet before the “well shit, you know what, guys are A-ok in my book, too.”

Having kids seemed the thing to do when you grew up. What usually happened, Filbrick would grumble, whether you planned for them or not.

Stan didn’t necessarily believe that to be the case; regardless, eventually having a rugrat or two was what he wanted, expectations be damned. Babysitting his nephew had given him an appreciative stance on kids. Just the way a baby looked at you, like you were sun and lit up the whole world with your presence alone, that was staggering to Stan, unlike anything he had ever felt.

Not wanting kids was fine, too, as Stan pointed out when Ford expressed his disinterest in spawning any of his own. As always, the brothers were more different than alike, identical or no. Stan pondered if that was the way it went with all siblings.

(“Fatherhood would simply be a major distraction to my research. In moderation, children can be fun company, of course; but they’re also messy, loud, disruptive, and desire a lot of attention.”

“Geez, Sixer, sound like yer describin’ me,” Stan snorted.

“Exactly my point.”

Stan scoffed, socking his smirking brother in the arm. “Shuddup, nerd. Keep talkin’ like that and Uncle Ford won’t be invited to my mansion for Thanksgiving.”

“Mansion?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

My therapist told me today the majority of his other patients are way, way older than me. Like, people in their 50s or older. I'm his youngest (22). That made me feel really good, because sometimes I feel like me coming out at 20 instead of 12 makes me invalid. I grew up in bumfuck nowhere and never knew trans was a thing, ok, I just felt like shit all the time, cut me some slack.

You’re definitely not invalid! That’s cool to know there’s other people out there :)

- Alex

anonymous asked:

My dog just passed away after being sick for a long time so I was hoping you could write something where Kylo comforts the reader and basically cuddles and comforts them. I would really appreciate it <3

You’ve got to do “I made a joke about one of your biggest insecurities and now I feel like an asshole. Can I make it up to you?” with kylo. PleSe. I need this

First to the first anon, I am so sorry to hear about that loss. Pets are so often like family and their absence is definitely felt. I hope you feel better, and of course we all know animals without a doubt go somewhere better in the end. It’s not the typical route for comforting reader, but I hope you like what I did with this.

Modern College AU Kylo Ren +  "I made a joke about one of your biggest insecurities and now I feel like an asshole. Can I make it up to you?“


The morning was starting off rather uneventfully and for you there was probably no better blessing. Considering how your last few days had been all you wanted was to fly under the radar and make it through the day. If you could hold it together during the school day, you would be just fine.

That of course was not known to anyone other than yourself. Which would prove to make things difficult when a certain someone caught sight of you in the halls. Kylo Ren. He was always eyeing you, attempting to strike up conversation though more often striking out. Though you weren’t aware behind his facade and rude comments was just a boy wishing he knew how to express how he really felt about you. Every time he tried however, you seemed to roll your eyes and walk off.

Today though, today he was certain he would turn it around. You had finally reappeared after a few days of being absent and he was determined to set things right. Releasing a sigh he walked up to you readjusting your backpack. At the sight of you suddenly he paused before you, his brows furrowing.

“Shit.”

You looked up instantly, almost regretting you had. As attractive as Kylo was you dreaded seeing him every day. Immediately you brought your eyes back down to your bag and tried to ignore his obvious presence before you.

“Are you ok?”

Knowing you couldn’t give a verbal response you hummed, “Mhmm.”

Kylo crossed his arms over his chest, “Are you sure? …I mean no offense but you look like you got hit by a truck.”

Instantly he could feel the plaguing regret take over him. He didn’t a mean a word of that, and he had yet again said something rude and demeaning towards you. Mentally slapping himself he tried to remain silent, waiting for your reaction. To only further his guilt and regret, all of a sudden he took note of how you slowly put down your bag, your composure seeming less confident. When you looked up just for a moment, Kylo instantly felt the hit to his chest. You were crying, he had caused you to cry. Your composure all at once slipped out of you as you just let the tears go. Though it was good to finally release them you couldn’t help but feel ridiculous crying in the middle of the hall right in front of Kylo.

You sniffled, “Yeah.”

Kylo shook his head, “No, no, no I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that. Don’t cry.”

“But you were thinking it?”

“No, no. I swear (Y/N). Ah shit, please don’t cry.”

Your tears grew worse, “You’re such an ass.”

“I know I am, I’m sorry.”

You rolled your eyes as you tried to pick up your bag only for Kylo to pull you back up into his view.

“Please leave me alone Kylo, I already feel like shit.”

“I’m sorry for making fun of an insecurity, ok? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it, it just slipped out. It means nothing.”

“Don’t take all the credit. Gaud.”

Kylo’s brows furrowed, “All the credit? What’s going on? Why are you really crying?”

“Cause you’re an ass.”

“No, you just said I shouldn’t take all the credit. What’s bothering you?”

You gulped. You truly didn’t want him to take all the credit, and with a reaction like this you couldn’t make up something ridiculous. Kylo had a way of reading people that he would instantly tune into when you started lying. Before you could second guess yourself you just sighed.

“It’s my dog. H-he died. I mean he’s been sick for a long time but…but I thought that would change.”

Kylo’s heart felt a subtle pang. Your heart was broken and he had ruined whatever facade you were trying to keep going through the day. Of course he had screwed up royally. It seemed to be the only thing he was good at. Looking at you wiping your nose on your sleeve he suddenly got an idea. He may have screwed up at first, but there was more than just the option to walk away. He so often did, or you beat him to it.

Attempting to quel his nerves he released a sigh and responded, “I’m so sorry.”

You shrugged, “Sure.”

Moving to stand more in line of sight Kylo got your attention to focus in on in his face, respecting the boundaries and not touching you.

“Hey, look at me. I mean it. I’m sorry. I’ve still got my childhood dog and I can only imagine what it’d be like to lose him. I may be an ass but I have a heart.”

You sniffled with a small smirk. Giving you a small smirk back Kylo decided to keep rolling with this.

“Is there anything I can do? Carry your bags, get you tissues, buy you lunch?”

You giggled, “Not really. I just need some comfort. …Maybe some ice cream or something.”

“I can provide all of that.”

Your brows scrunched up, “You? Comfort and ice cream?”

He nodded. Though instantly after he began looking around as if to confirm who was and wasn’t standing around him at the moment before he turned back to you. He began speaking so softly you almost hadn’t heard him begin.

“How about we play hooky just for today and I can comfort you holding you in some warm blankets, eating pints of ice cream?”

“You…you’d really do that?”

He nodded slowly as his heart beat against his chest. He had finally made some kind of appropriate and actually legit comment towards you. The only question being whether you’d accept or deny him. Truthfully, he wouldn’t blame you for rejecting him after all he had said and done to you. 

“Least I could do for being such an ass.”

“I cried once Kylo you don’t need to do something.”

“But I do. It wasn’t just this time, this time I just finally crossed a line. You didn’t deserve any of my shitty behavior. …Please?”

“…At your place or mine?”

“Whichever would make you more comfortable.”

You sighed, “…I suppose that means mine.”

He gave you a nod, “Ok.”

You gave him a small smile. This kindness was so out of place for what you expected from Kylo but at the same time it seemed so unapologetically genuine. You could see it in his eyes. Gesturing towards the hall he allowed you to start walking as he began following beside you.

“So what ice cream are we getting?”

Seventeen Family Picture

Junghan - the single mom with 11 kids
Scoups - the mom’s boyfriend
Joshua - the eldest son, probably hates scoups bc he’s the one who grew up with their real father and remembers him the best so still can’t accept coups
Woozi - that one who is always on his pc and was actually dragged out of his room to take this pic “ok can I go now”
Hoshi - that son who’s already in his twenties but still didn’t do shit in his life and keep fooling around
Wonwoo - that son majoring in philosophy or literature or idk and whenever something happens he dramatically looks up from his book and recites some part of an unfamous play that suits the situation, actually grows plants, once cried when one of his plants died and made it a coffin
Jun - hoshi’s friend and who actually made hoshi useless, his mother tells him to stop hanging out with him but he doesn’t
Mingyu - the one attached to his mother the most, often helps her cook and clean
Minghao - the one with the angel face yet does nasty shit without anyone knowing
Dokyeom - the cheerful one, is following on hoshi’s steps bc he thinks his hyung is cool but mom says no
Seungkwan - the one that is still studying and his mom still has hope in him so she forces him to study “but I doNT WANNA STUDY MOM I WANNA PLAY WITH MY NEW BICYCLE”
Vernon - the one who is legit always outside, prolly has a yt channel and is always vlogging, also prolly filmed a video of seungkwan’s bicycle getting burned
Dino - the youngest one who thinks he’s already a man and his mom shouldn’t baby him anymore, is bullied by the hyungs, runs crying to his mommy immediately lol what a man indeed
(I ran into this pic and thought of this lmao don’t mind me)

anonymous asked:

okay, that story about your roommate and the spaghetti squash sounds intriguing.

okay this story falls under the ‘sarah is bonkers & has to make everything she does way more difficult than it should be’ category of life decisions

so this happened when i was an undergrad, & i lived in an apartment with this other girl in the same town my parents live in, which was actually an ok setup because i could borrow their car & get free food without having to listen to my father snore or play james taylor’s christmas album. my mother belonged to this farming co-op thing where she’d get a bunch of weird ass veggies & stuff once a week from local farmers (& i grew up in arizona so like. sometimes it was weird shit). & i often got all the extra weird food my parents didnt want to bother cooking because i was a poor college student & didn’t complain about it.

so one week my mom picks up her veggie order & gets this giant monstrous spaghetti squash, its HUGE. my mother HATES spaghetti squash for whatever reason. hates it. naturally she offers to give it to me & i’m like ‘yeah ok sure’ & she’s all ‘sarah i can walk you through how to cook this but i don’t want it in my house i hate these things but tell me if you need help cooking this’ & i’m like ‘MOM i can cook a fucking squash it’s fine i’m 20 years old’ 

& i become VERY DETERMINED to cook this damn thing because my mother had implied that i didn’t know what i was doing & was helpless & just floundering my way through life. how cooking a giant evil orange oblong squash was gonna prove this i can’t tell you but that’s what i thought. i think i wanted to demonstrate that i was RESOURCEFUL and HEALTHY and ATE ADULT FOOD SHE DOESN’T LIKE. 

naturally it was NOT FINE. 

i bring the damn thing home & decide it’s too big to really do anything with so i’ll cut it open before i cook it because that’ll be easiest. i DID NOT read any directions on how to cook a spaghetti squash because i was determined to DO IT MYSELF LIKE AN ADULT WHO EATS SPAGHETTI SQUASH AND NEEDS NO HELP FROM NOBODY. 

so i pretty quickly realize that i’m pretty unable to actually cut the squash open. it’s massive & has a thick rind & i can’t get a knife into it. i spend probably twenty minutes sitting on my kitchen floor with the squash in my lap trying to stab it with every knife in the kitchen & i can’t even get it fucking started. if i’d owned a fire ax i probably would’ve taken a fire ax to it. & naturally the situation evolves from simply a test of my adulting abilities to a TEST OF MY HONOR AND STRENGTH. I’VE GOT A 4.0 i tell myself I CAN OUTSMART A SQUASH but i can’t because i can’t cut it open. i have a bit of a meltdown at this point because my self worth, which is fragile & bewildering on a good day, is being torn to shreds by a stupid fucking orange gourd. 

the logical thing to do at this point would have been to give up because i’m not all that wild about spaghetti squash anyway but i CANT ADMIT DEFEAT I HAVE TO OWN THIS STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!! 

so i decide to stick the squash in a giant pot & boil it for a while until it gets soft enough to be cut open. brilliant. i’m a genius. i’m so pleased with myself. everyone in the entire world could have told me this was a bad idea. if i’d called my mother to ask for her help she would have probably had a heart attack but i didn’t do that because i’m DETERMINED TO WIN.

so i stick the damn thing in the biggest pot i have, put it on the stove, & feeling very pleased with myself go to take a nap because i’ve fought a battle that i am winning

my roommate gets home maybe an hour and a half later, drops her stuff off, sees me sleeping on the couch and walks into the kitchen. and naturally, as soon as she walks into the kitchen the vegetable bomb that i planted in a pot of boiling water on our stove goes the fuck off which is what happens when you put a large round semi-hollow object in a pot of very hot water so steam builds up inside and then forget about it. so roommate walks into the kitchen

and the squash TAKES FLIGHT. 

because, surprise, when you let an incredible amount of steam build up inside something shaped like a bomb it will BURST A HOLE IN THE SIDE AND FLY INTO THE AIR LIKE A RED HOT GOURD PROJECTILE

it sounded kind of like someone firing a cannon in our living room so i wake up thinking someone is SHOOTING AT ME, vault over the couch screaming to see the squash launch out of the pot of water straight up into the air. it misses my roommate’s head by maybe a half a foot. she screams and i scream and we both hit the deck and the squash smacks into the ceiling and then to the ground, splattering squash insides all over us and the floor.

needless to say i had a lot of apologizing to do because i almost murdered her with dinner, & i then had to tell my mother that i’d completely failed in making my point about being mature & self sufficient, but had discovered that spaghetti squash work really great as weaponry if the situation ever arises.

i think she laughed at me for forty five minutes. 

so there you go, that’s the story about how i almost accidentally committed squash bomb homicide

Boy King

Pairing: Boyking!Sam x Demon!Reader

Summary: As the Kings consort you have very few responsibilities but betray the King and his wraith will fall down upon you.

Warnings: ANGST, violence, mentions of blood, language, some violence against a woman. It’s another dark fic.

Word Count: 1,096

A/N: Well it looks like I’m on a roll. Here is yet another dark fic with more angst. Anyways I hope you guys like it and please feel free to leave some feedback.

The King had summoned you. Not that you cared, he would just have to wait. Very few could defy the King but being his consort had its benefits. It was always some new game with him, but you were truly pissed at him this time. He felt it was ok to ignore for over a week and as revenge you had screwed his brother. You had absolutely no regrets, it had been worth every second of sexual debauchery that had occurred.

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