i grew up with these

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top 10 bromances (as voted by my followers) #04. mark sloan and derek shepherd
Derek and I? We go way back. We grew up together, went to med school together. He’s kinda like my better half. Not the better-looking half, mind you.  So when I heard he got shot… Every day, we give bad news to patients. We tell them their loved ones are hurt, or dying or dead. And for the first time in my life, I understood what that feels like. 

glassandstars  asked:

Hi there! I love your blog and I've been meaning to ask you about tall ship sailing for awhile, if you don't mind writing about it--how did you get started? Is it a job or something you have to pay to do? It sounds really cool honestly.

I started because my EU passport expired the same time the season began. I grew up in Maine where there’s a healthy tall ship community, and I’ve always been starry-eyed over tall ships, and I would rather have starved than gone back to being a bank teller. So I figured ‘why not, it’ll be a great story at least’ and emailed pretty much every captain between here and North Carolina. I got a job as a messmate - a beginner’s position on most overnight ships, sort of a combination cook’s assistant/busboy/assistant deckhand when you have free time. Mid season I was moved to deck crew, because we had a vacancy and I was pretty vocal about wanting to be on deck. I expected it to be a summer job, but I really, really fell in love with it! It can be extremely taxing, for sure - long hours, low pay, lots of customer interaction, dirty work. But it can also be exactly as romantic as you’re probably imagining - going aloft, crossing the gulf stream, learning increasingly complicated knots, swimming in bioluminescence, dolphins playing around the bow, sea shanties, being part of something as huge and complicated and lovely as a tall ship.

There are tall ships with programs where you pay to learn how to sail, and programs where you volunteer unpaid, but honestly if you’ve got enthusiasm, are willing to get dirty, aren’t bothered by the rough living conditions (small bunks, and especially during pre-season work, hot water/electricity/running water at all/refrigeration are rare) and low pay (from paid messmates, I’ve heard anywhere from $120-400/week), it’s not hard to find a paying job without experience! If you want to know a bit more about that, I wrote a post a while ago here.

This week marks the 2 year anniversary since I packed up my life and began my journey west. I was in a stagnant place in my life and my depression was truly getting the best of me. Since then I have met and worked with celebrities and traveled across this country but I think my favorite thing about what I’ve been blessed with are the people who support me even though they barely know me. The ones that took a chance on me. I grew up thinking no one cared about me and these two years have shown me that all of that is a lie. People are so good and amazing and I took a chance on them cuz I had no other choice but to trust what was happening.

2 years later I live in Los Angeles. I’ve eaten barbecue with Paul Giamatti, I’ve shaken Morgan Freeman’s hand, I’ve had conversations with astronauts and rocket scientists, I’ve hugged Jason Silva and shared positive words with him, I’ve met people who have literally shaken me up so deeply it’s brought me so much closer to myself and who I am.

This tattoo is what I got myself the very same week 2 years ago. This arrow is representative of me following my own path. Trusting my heart. Taking a chance. Jumping into the deep end. Falling in love with not knowing.

None of this wouldn’t have been possible without my faith in the divine. Whoever it is. It’s the only thing that gave me any sense of hope.

i grew up in a broken home. a home that never felt like home. a house where the walls never stopped trembling and my hands never stopped shaking. i sleep in a bed with tear stains on it because i just cannot keep myself sane at night. so mom, dont get me wrong when i tell you how badly i want to leave. i want a house where the walls are quiet and my hands are steady, my bed is clean and i spend my nights sleeping. dont get me wrong when i say that i want to leave. i just want to be okay. and i have to start looking for my happiness in other places because i wont find it here mom, the walls are still trembling and my hands are still shaking.

More Headcanons

I headcanon Lance as bi. I also sort of self project the way I grew up and how my family is/was on him too…? Anyways, more langst

-Lance never thought it was weird that he was attracted to both genders until he was 11
-He first told his mom and she told him it was just a phase
-His older siblings laughed and teased him for it, calling him many slurs
-Slowly he grew to hate himself for being attracted to men and started to become more and more homophobic
- When he was 13, he met a boy in the summer who was gay
-He dated said boy in secret while denying who he was all the while
-His younger sister caught him with the boy and told their parents
-Lance never thought he’d ever see his mom so disgusted with him
-At the same time, he never thought his Dad who seemed the least accepting, would accept him and try to help him
-Lance started to realize as he got older that no men wanted to date him because he was bi
-So he thought it’d be easier to pass as hetro, though by now he was no longer homophobic but was trying to help out in LGBT community
-Lance’s older siblings started to become more understanding of the LGBT community and was no longer homophobic
-His mom understood but didn’t except that he was bi. Instead she’d talk about how it was a phase in his life
-He knew deep down that she’s never accept him
-Growing up, Lance was a middle child
-He never really got new clothes, being able to have hand-me-downs from his older siblings
-But his younger siblings got new clothes as by the time he was down with his, they were outdated
-He tries not to think too much about the times he’d get locked out after walking around late
-It wasn’t their fault, they just didn’t notice he was gone
-When his anxiety was starting to get bad, he had to hide it because his family rejected the idea that anyone could have a mental illness in their family
-He learned how to cry silently early in his life, so it was no surprise that no one knew when he was having an anxiety attack
-His self esteem issues started pretty early in his life
-His older siblings, one was a genius and the other was a troublemaker
-Whatever he did was average in his eyes and only his friends congratulated him
-It would never feel as good as it would’ve been coming from his parents
-When he’d get into trouble or hang around a “dangerous” crowd, his parents didn’t seem to care too much
-His “dangerous” crowd was pretty much just his group of friends which consisted of an addict, an alcoholic, a pot head, a kid who came from a rough home and two high school drop outs who dealt with mental illness, and the other poverty
-Some of his friends knew gang members but it wasn’t an issue because they’d never bring them around
-When Lance got an 89% on an exam, they threw him a little party on the beach by a campfire
-They’d all celebrate each other’s success and Lance started to call them family
-Lance’s siblings always forgot he was with them when they’d tell a story, or they’d replace him with a different sibling
-His own mom and dad started to do that as well
-He started to feel like he was replaceable and forgettable
-He started to fall into depression around the time he was 12, though he never realized it was depression until he was 15
-He started self harming when he 11, a little bit after he came out
-At first it was anger, he felt like he deserved to be treated like crap
-It soon turned ugly as he started to notice more and more things he wasn’t good at and traits that were displeasing
-When he was 15-16, his friends noticed the scars he carefully kept hidden and they tried so hard to help him
-Lance learned that he didn’t want their help as it felt more like pity which only fed into his self-loathing
-When Lance was 16, his friend who was an alcoholic died by drowning in his own puke
-Lance didn’t take it well and couldn’t handle it, so he repressed those memories
-He never remembered until he was in his 20’s and woke up sobbing and shaking(it wasn’t pretty, it was horrible and he could shake the imagines out of his mind for weeks)
-When Lance got accepted to the garrison, his friends threw him a party
-At the same time, he never told his family until two days before he was leaving
-They thought it was just a boarding school and didn’t realize how much he worked for it until after he left and they looked into it
-Lance tried to hold back tears after the first month he was at the garrison and he still hadn’t gotten a call from his parents or siblings
-He didn’t hold himself as he thought of his friends and the fire they had
-He didn’t think of how his parents practically jumped around when his older brother got accepted into university
-He didn’t compare himself to everyone he knew and only focus on his bad points
-He didn’t have an anxiety attack that night
-When Lance met Hunk, he felt relived because finally in his life, he met someone who didn’t know his family
-Because finally he had a friend who saw him and didn’t know of or about his family
-And when he met Pidge, he was ecstatic to meet someone who was so smart and chill
-It didn’t hurt him at all when they kept avoiding him though
-It didn’t remind him of being overshadowed when his teachers started to compare him and tell him he was there only by luck
-It didn’t hurt when he was taken as a joke by his self proclaimed rival because it reminded him of his siblings
-No, it didn’t hurt at all when he realized he really didn’t belong with the other paladins
-And it certainly didn’t hurt when his hero got mad at him for making a valid point
-Of course that didn’t make him start to doubt himself more than he already did
-No, Lance never thought of how much he hated himself or how he wasn’t good enough
-Not even about how he missed his family, when he was stuck out in space
-Or his friends, who’d usually try to cheer him up by taking him out to eat or play games all night
-Definitely not about how he wished he was a better person, never really seeing what an amazing person he was but the only what he saw of himself
-No, Lance was fine
-Right?

My goal for today was to “Make it so,” so I washed and vacuumed my car, did some chores, and then did a portrait of the captain I grew up with: Jean-Luc Picard, the Frenchman with the English accent.

In all seriousness though, I do love Picard.  He has a special place in my heart because Next Gen is what got me into Star Trek as a kid, though Janeway will always be my favorite captain.

Medical bills are piling up, so if anyone is interested in a commission, please feel free to message me!

anonymous asked:

You know how I came out as a trans dude and I thought my church was being supportive? Turns out I was wrong. It turns out I'm only welcome as long as I continue to as feminine which of course is only going to make my gender dysphoria worse. My church is nearest thing I have to a family (I grew up in foster care) I don't know if I can handle this. Ace

ace,

i know your church means a lot to you but the fact that staying there would worsen your dysphoria is worrisome. you are important. your health is important. you need people that are going to love and support you. you haven’t changed.

you are still you. if they want you to be someone you are not is being there worth it? you can still have your faith but you shouldn’t have to force yourself to fit an image they want. they have no idea how hard you are trying to keep together, sweetheart.

try talking to your pastor (idk if that’s right, im sorry. im not familiar with those types of things) again.

im sending you love and support.

anonymous asked:

Rtmi: when I was a kid, my neighbour in my old city (we are both girls) and I would play this game. She would be the Hulk (honestly not sure why we picked him) and I was the damsel in destress. She would save me and we kiss. The game lasted for like a half hour each time we played. It defined me as I grew up and I finally accepted myself as bisexual in my teens.

GFHRGKL

Autometabiographies

I think it would be cool if metabiographies were a thing. Maybe they already are and I just don’t know what they’re called? I’ll tell you what I am thinking of and you tell me if this thing already exists…

Instead of writing about the person’s life and pretentious personality, I wanna know the various transitions in their view on reality, which philosophical ideas and ideologies they explored and what drew them there.. I want to see the progression, step by step, of their mental journey.

Fuck if I care about what city you grew up in, or that you liked oysters on your burgers? I wanna know how you justified your existence all those years, what crumbled your sense of identity each and every time, what beauty you found to draw you towards your next mental unfolding.

I guess only the person themselves could really even attempt to map such a thing so let’s call it an AMB (autometabiography). I’m not sure if this type of thing was even possible until a recent time of having the ability to explore various philosophical views.

anonymous asked:

When did you know you were into witchcraft?

This is a hard question for me? Sort of always?? I grew up in a really free-thinking, nature loving and respecting family who had 7 different gardens sort of family? And I was always lowkey in love with witches? But I got really religious for like…. 8-10 years of my life and it wasn’t really until after high school I started to think about it again, and I read about witchcraft, lurked witchy tumblr, started exploring for probably.. I’d say at least a year - a year and a half or more before I decided I wanted to start practicing. It was a long process to say the least lol

I’m still freaking out emotionally right now about this Spider-Man movie I have so many feelings like

Iron Man is my favorite superhero of all time but Spider-Man was my first superhero and I grew up with Peter Parker and now to see them together, in the same movie, interacting with each each other in the same universe like… I am Alive

I’d love to tell you more about my characters’ relationships but I feel it’d be revealing too much information. Even if those relationships aren’t the most essential part of the plot, I think they build the world of this story. So… maybe they are that important… it’s really hard to say xD I mean, it’s not a story about relationships but relationships are a big part of the story. That is why, unfortunately, I can’t answer your question. But I’m glad they look like very good friends :) (They grew up together btw, that I can share x))

Same with @tinydragonvicuna’s question! This is basically what this story is all about. What happened to Remington and is it possible to help his lost soul?
And yes, he has a grave.

I hope that, if I finally have the time to create my little comic, it won’t be boring and predictable and some stuff will surprise you :) I really hope so.

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My box altar setup! From the top down - Apollo, Aphrodite, and Hades

Apollo’s altar is mostly made up of beach/desert mementos, showing a mix between the desert I grew up in and the beach I briefly lived by with my family

Aphrodite’s is mostly made up of gifts from my girlfriend - fitting for a goddess I appealed to in order to feel more comfortable with my own queer identity with

Hades’ is simple and to the point, and also the most personal of the three

All three boxes were spray painted purple and the edges painted gold. It was a fairly simple project, and a nice setup to arrange

that was a lot… more……. than i expected to see from a bioware sex scene. like i grew up with the… da:o sex scene tier sex scenes and fade to black before they even get clothes off stuff and suddenly they slam straight up oral sex on my screen