i gotta pee right now!

Have some more family fluff with a side of angst of this pairing with spider babies.

Title: Stark Naked

Pairing: T’Stuckony (T’Challa/Steve/Bucky/Tony)

Warnings: mentions of Mpreg. Mpreg!Tony.   

Lenght: 1,878


The pitter patter of footsteps echoed down the hall, growing louder and louder by the second. It was soon followed by the heavy thumps of larger steps.

Tony sat idly by on one of the many couches, massaging his rounded stomach and soothing what little he could of his daughter apparently tap dancing on his bladder. Soon he was going to make a quick trip to the restroom, seeing as his daughter didn’t seem to want to lighten up, but first he wanted to see what all the yelling was about. He knew Bucky had gone to give Peter a bath, a plain task that didn’t require shouting, so he didn’t see a reason why Bucky’s voice was booming down the hall and why footsteps were happening.

Sure enough, making an appearance and crossing the corner, his two year old son came barreling down in nothing but his birthday suit. Buck nude and showing the world his naked glory with a toothy grin.

Shortly after him came Bucky with a towel in his hands, his hair soaked, his shirt clinging to his body (which was an incredible sight) and wet spots decorating his pants. He looked to have just returned from an intense workout, and seeing how Peter managed to escape his hold, he probably had.

“Peter!” Bucky shouted again, reaching out to try and wrap Peter in the towel but failing when Peter decided to round the coffee table, giggling the entire time.

Steve, who was sitting next to Tony and had been running fingers over the swell of his stomach, watched the pair fondly with a smirk that grew wider and wider the longer Bucky failed to catch Peter. T’Challa was leaning against the wall with his phone out and recording the entire thing. Tony was going to demand a copy of it.

Eventually, after three more circles around the coffee table, Bucky managed to outsmart the two year old by turning back and letting Peter run into his arms instead. “Got you! Little nudist, we’re finishing your bath.”

Peter gave a shriek as Bucky lifted him up and kicked his legs playfully when Bucky threw him over his shoulder.

“Need some help there, Buck?” Steve couldn’t help but say. “Looks like you had yourself a prison break.”

“No, Steve, I don’t need help. Little punk took off the moment he attacked me with water. He’s every bit as conniving as his mother.”

Tony grinned. “That’s my boy!”

“Gotta say, I thought for sure mixing your brain with Bucky’s attitude was going to be a world domination waiting to happen, but so far Bucky’s been receiving the end of his scheming. I approve of it,” Steve said as his fingers returned to run over the swollen stomach. “Tell me you’re going to send that video to everyone.”

“Doing so as we speak,” T’Challa nodded.

Soon enough their phones received the video from their group text chat. Clint and Sam were for sure going to get a kick out of watching Bucky running after the little nudist that was Peter and failing to catch him. Natasha would never let him see the end of it. Rhodey would use this as another reason to continue his quote of “You fell in love with the guy. You knew what you were getting into,” every time either one of them did something downright ridiculous.

From down the hall Bucky’s voice was heard. “You couldn’t have given me at least ten minutes before sending that video to everyone?”

The three grinned. No they couldn’t.

“Hopefully our little girl isn’t as rebellious as Peter,” Steve commented and looking at the swell.

Tony knew better than to hope. Peter had been calm and quiet during the pregnancy, naturally they believed him to be a placid child, but the moment he was born all hell broke loose. They could chuck it out as being first time parents and getting the hang of things, but Peter was downright rambunctious. Tony was not going to make the same mistake again of assuming their daughter to be well-behaved simply because she wasn’t as active. Fool him once, shame on you. Fool him twice? He was blaming their inherited genius on it. Only a child from Tony Stark would be able to fool their parents.

“You can dream, Steve,” Tony poked his shoulder. “Help me up, I gotta pee.”


“I have the right to be bossy. Now hurry, or I’m going on this couch.”


Three years later it was deja vu all over again.

“Gwen! Gwen you get back here right now!”

Similarly to before, Gwen came running down the hall and turned the same corner Peter had when he broke for freedom. The near-three year old rounded the same coffee table, jumped when Steve nearly had her in his grasp and rushed to the kitchen instead of making another turn.

This time it was T’Challa sitting next to him, running his palm over Tony’s swollen stomach where their son was resting. His other hand held his phone as he recorded the entire scene. Bucky was sitting on another couch with a sleeping Peter using his thigh as a pillow.

“Now I see the fun in this. Need some help, Stevie?”

A shriek and a loud “Ha! Got you fair and square,” and soon Steve appeared again with Gwen in his arms wrapped in the towel. “No, I don’t need help.” He sent a fond glare to Tony. “That brain of yours is dangerous when put on children. Now I know how Bucky felt.”

“Still feel that way,” Bucky said. “The older he gets the move devious. Get the feeling he’ll get rid of us the moment he doesn’t need us.”

“Nah, he loves Tony too much for that. Get rid of us three sure, but Tony he’s keeping.”

Bucky thought it over and nodded in approval. “True. Can’t argue with that. I wouldn’t get rid of Tony, either.”

“Can you not talk about getting rid of me or not getting rid of me while I’m in the same room. I’ll start to think you’re all using me,” Tony said, looking suspiciously at them all.

T’Challa leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Never. If they wish to get rid of you I’ll get rid of them first.”

“How about we don’t get rid of anyone and you send that video already.”

Steve groaned before heading back down the hall to finish the bath.

Rhodey’s voice echoed in his head as Tony watched the video that arrived on the group text chat and read Rhodey’s reply. ‘You fell in love with them. You knew what you were getting into.’

Yeah, he fell in love with them. He knew what he was getting into, he just didn’t expect it was going to be this ridiculous. And, frankly, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

T’Challa pressed his body close. “I am most adamant that our son will be as rowdy as his siblings.”

“Past two experiences are telling us it is. He won’t even settle down right now,” Tony said and shut his eyes at the sensation of their son making another movement shortly after kicking his side. “Think we’re about to get our biggest challenge yet.”

“Nothing we’re unprepared for now.”

“Another bout of sleepless nights? For sure we’re prepared for that, and everything else Peter and Gwen had done, but having three hyper children together?” Tony slumped on the couch from the idea alone. He was going to die. He was sure of it. Thankfully, he had three strong and healthy partners that could decide between them who’s turn was it to rock the baby to sleep. “Think it’s too much to ask for a calm child this once?”

T’Challa and Bucky chuckled. “With your brain, doll? We’d be lucky if they’re the silent inventing type. Their minds are constantly running,” Bucky said, running his fingers through Peter’s soft locks.

Perhaps, but it couldn’t hurt to hope for a behaved child instead of another set of pitter pattering footsteps.


Two months later and Tony wanted nothing more than to take those words back.

Standing outside a neonatal incubator, his chest was filled with anguish as he watched his newborn sleep with wires strapped to his body. A box acting as a barrier between him and his baby. The only signs of life being his little chest slowly rising and the soft beep of the heart monitor.

Outside of the room where the incubator rested were T’Challa, Bucky and Steve standing by the window and looking mournfully inside. Visiting hours were soon to be over and they had given their time to their baby, devoting the last few minutes remaining for Tony alone, but soon they were required to leave. Tony didn’t want to leave, not without his baby. He wanted his child with them. He’ll think they were abandoning him if they left.


Tony didn’t react when T’Challa join him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Anthony, we must go.”

“I don’t want to leave him.”

“We are not. We will return for him, but we must let him rest and recuperate.”

“But what if we leave and he doesn’t. What if he doesn’t get better and we leave him here all alone? What if he thinks we don’t love him?”

T’Challa kissed his forehead. “He knows we love him with all of our hearts, especially you. And you must have faith. Our son is strong and was eager to greet us. Now he must regain his energy.”

Fear clutched at him. “I’m scared we won’t be able to see him again.”

“We will. First thing in the morning, we will. Have faith in him.”

Tony did, even with worry in his heart he did. His baby was strong, strong like his siblings, strong like his fathers’. He was going to pull through.


Tiny footsteps pattered over carpet and a childish giggle joined them. On unbalanced legs Miles sauntered out of the hallway, not buck-naked, and having recently learned how to walk and already trying to get his chubby legs to move faster. Behind him T’Challa wandered out, fast enough to keep up with Miles and slow enough to not actually reach him.

Joy and pride filled Tony’s heart as he watched the pair circle the coffee table. Bucky had his phone out and was recording them. Steve had Peter and Gwen by his sides and were encouraging Miles to keep going.

“I will catch you, little inkwenkwezi, there is no escape!”

Miles giggled and rushed to Tony, asking to be lifted. Tony obliged and pampered his tiny chubby face with kisses. Miles shrieked in response.

“Foiled again,” T’Challa sat down in surrender. “He has escaped me.”

Bucky patted his shoulder, pressing buttons on his phone to send the video to their friends. “Happens to the best of us.”

The replies they received on the group text chat were positive and encouraging and pure delight. Everyone had feared for Miles, but now watching him grow everyday and get stronger, they couldn’t be more relieved and proud.

Rhodey’s expected ‘You fell in love with them, you knew what you were getting into’ was joined by a ‘I’m happy for you.’

Happy he was indeed.


James: Whoa! Look Moony’s got the moves!

Peter: Who would’ve thought that our good old Moony could burn up the dance floor?

Sirius: *whines* But I’m supposed be to amazing… Look at his sidewalk moves. I have to learn them…

Meanwhile Remus, shouting to the crowd: GET OUTTA MY WAY I GOTTA GO PEE RIGHT NOW!!!

OctoberFicFest: Morning

The series is as follows :

Mama Scully’s Party …. MorningUnderwearsMapsNachosFoul BallPromisesStayPhone CallsFlannel InterruptionAwakeningFriendly CompromisesScrabbleApart …  A Long WeekLightningMissing YouInterimStuffWaitingGoingHandsUnsteadyFearFastSlowRegardlessInto the DarkLightSurfboardsCurbsShowersBordersCanyonsSoakedIce CreamNever HappenedDeep SouthAlmostBlue-Suede ShoesUnwelcomeRemarkableStarsDoorbellsM&MsKneesHome


The sun burning a hole directly through her eyelid made her move her head.

This in turn sent her head pounding.

She had difficulty making a mental note not to turn her head again.

She then imagined that if the note were real, it would more resemble alien chicken scratch than it would her own writing.

This made her want to laugh but as she began to, the throbbing in her head doubled.

Good Lord, what the hell did she do last night?

The squirming of something warm next to her made her move on from the thrumming to curiosity.

Since she was after all a scientist, an organized person and a Scully, she took stock of the situation. First, her face was smushed against the side of her mother’s hammock. Second, the warm body next to her was huge and very warm and had its arm over her waist, hand buried deep in her shirt, curled fingers brushing the underside of her left breast. Third, she appeared to be enjoying it because she wasn’t moving the hand away. Fourth, the body smelled like Mulder. Fifth, she recalled something about cards and an obscene amount of liquor.

She could probably have come up with a sixth but by then, she’d had enough thinking for the day.

“Mulder? … Mulder? You awake back there?”

His voice came out muffled and as he attempted speech, her hair moved, telling her he was both alive and his face was buried in her hair, “no.”

After that, silence … but at least she knew he still had the capability to communicate, “I need to pee.” No answer this time but she couldn’t wait any longer so she began the difficult extraction process, made only harder by the fact that Mulder tightened his grip, “come on. I gotta get out of here.”


“I need to pee, right now.”

The arm loosened and she somehow managed to make it upright, half rolling, half dropping to the deck before standing … and immediately falling against the railing, her balance shot to hell by an alcohol proof she would never, ever touch again. Mulder heard the thump, not moving but at least asking, “y’alright?”

“Dandy.” Waiting very still for a minute, both to get the spinning world under control and to keep from peeing her pants, she then shuffled her way into the house, shielding her eyes from the blasted sun that insisted on shining with stabbing daggers through her corneas.

The door was fairly simple to open but shutting became a problem and in her urgency, she left it open, racing to the bathroom and taking out a kitchen stool in the process. Mulder heard the falling furniture and, thinking she needed his help, began his own trek inside, doing slightly better than his partner but feeling the same daggers.

Once Scully had finished, she stumbled her way back to the kitchen, holding onto whatever she could so she didn’t fall down, showing off her inability to function with a hangover. She had managed, however, to find the bottle of Aspirin, which she carried with her, doing her best not to make it rattle.

Mulder had made it as far as the kitchen counter, picked up the stool and planted himself on it, head resting against his folded arms on top of the granite counter. Scully’s hand on his back should have surprised him but given she hadn’t been exactly quiet in her groaning as she made her way towards him, he knew it was her, “what the hell did your mother make us drink last night?”

“I think we drank it ourselves but I can’t remember what it was right now.” Scully did her best to get on the stool beside him but she couldn’t make all the muscles work and she just kept kicking it away from her.

Mulder couldn’t help but laugh, which in turn made him cringe and hold his forehead with one hand while he held the stool steady with the other, “I recall Rum and wine.”

She made a horrified noise in her throat, then put her head directly on the cool stone, “we are stupid.”

“We’ve been stupider though.”

“Not at my mother’s house.”

“Very true.”

Sliding the bottle of drugs in his direction, “I don’t think I can make my hands get that open.”

With a grin, he sat up, opened it, carefully dug up three pills apiece and handed her her share, “got any water?”

“Only lightweights need water.” Slipping the pills in her mouth, she worked her tongue a moment, then swallowed twice, giving him a grin, “see.”

It took a moment for him to respond, given he was watching her throat with an intensity reserved for bad UFO videos and freshly-made pumpkin pie. She swallowed again, testing her theory and sure enough, his eyes dipped in sync with her muscles.

Well, now, she’d be filing that look away for future reference.


He shook himself from his trance, then winced, “yeah?”

“Take your drugs.”

Mulder stood slowly, heading to the sink, “I’m not magical like you. I need some water.” Leaning on the counter, he squinted out the back window over the sink, “and just because I like you a little, I’m going to tell you that I’m pretty sure that’s your bra out there hanging precariously off the grill.”


She didn’t move to get it though and this amused him, “just gonna leave it there then?”

“Why not? I’m not using it at the moment.”

He didn’t even try to keep his grin hidden, “I’m more curious about which one of us took it off.”

Mulder watched her ears quickly turn red, then her cheeks, “is there a possibility it was you?”

“There’s always a possibility it was me.”

“Then dare I ask who undid your belt buckle and the top button of your jeans?”

“You can ask but I haven’t got an answer.” Setting the empty cup down harder than he expected, his ears rang and his head throbbed, “but can we just forget about everything except maybe going back to bed?”

“God, yes.” Standing, she worked her way over to the sink beside him, using his glass to drink her own share of water, then taking his hand, “if we’re really quiet, we can sneak upstairs and sleep in a real bed.”

“But I don’t fit in any of those beds. They’re single beds and uncomfortable and my feet are always hanging over the side.”

Deciding to take that previous stare of his out for a spin, “how about I let you curl up around me and then nothing has to hang out?”

“Lead the way, woman.”

They made it as far as the bottom of the stairs when they ran into Maggie, “Dana? You’re awake?”

She dropped Mulder’s hand like a hot potato and in stepping away from him, knocked over the hat rack, sending it, several coats and Maggie’s purse to the ground. Looking up at her mother sheepishly, “I’m awake, hungover and very clumsy. I wouldn’t get too close if I were you.”

Maggie had seen the handholding and the disheveled looks on both her braless daughter and an unbuttoned Mulder. Stepping aside, “I just changed the sheets on your old bed, Dana, why don’t you two go take a nap.”

Mulder did not need to be told twice, recapturing Scully’s hand and scooting past Maggie, “you are a saint, Maggie, don’t let anyone tell you different.”

“G’night, Fox.”

As Scully was hauled past her, she grinned, “g’night, mom.”


Scully found her bra sitting in her bag when they were packing up to go home later than evening, the note simply reading, “I believe this is yours.”