i gotta call you right now

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."

inspired by this video (sfw, but a sex toy is being used as car repair, so take that as you will)

“Laura’s gonna flip,” Derek says in dismay, looking at the huge dent in the driver’s side door of the Camaro. Her most precious possession, the car she’d been saving up for forever, the car she waxes and washes every weekend, the car that she let Derek borrow to go to the Mathletes competition in San Francisco because Derek had a basketball game on Friday and couldn’t make the official school bus, the car that Laura made him swear his life on, is now forever ruined.

“Damn, if there ever was a good place to curse, that would have been it,” Stiles says, crossing his arms and looking far more attractive than he had the right to. “C’mon, Derek. Just say it. Fuck.”

Derek blushes, watching the word tumble out of Stiles’ pink mouth. “No, I… there’s gotta be a way to fix it. But if I call her insurance people she’s gonna know…”

“It’s totally my fault,” Stiles says. “I was the one who wanted to go to Tastee Freeze on the way back, and let some dingbat hit you in the parking lot. Actually, it’s their fault, whoever can’t drive.”

Derek shakes his head. It’s his fault. He’d been having too much fun this weekend; he’d spent practically all of it with Stiles. He’d had a crush on him forever— in fact, joined Mathletes at his request, and the whole year of practice, of spending afternoons with Stiles poring over math problems, watching Stiles lick Cheeto dust off his fingers— it’s been too much. Coupled with the fact that Stiles actually just plain forgot to catch the bus on Friday, and then caught a ride with Derek, meant hours in the car listening to him sing along to Hamilton and muddle through the rap bits, and sleeping next to him in the four-to-a-room motel Saturday night, and waking up with Stiles’ face smashed into his shoulder.

Derek had been too overwhelmed by it all, too overwhelmed by Stiles. Getting the chance to spend time with his friend this weekend had just intensified his feelings, and he knows there’s no chance that Stiles will ever feel the same, so he’s just drinking it all in, savoring these moments when he can.

It had been a terrible parking job, the Camaro was at a weird angle, that’s why the person rounding the turn had hit him. Derek sighs. He guesses it’s for the best. He’ll just have to pay Laura back. For forever.

Stiles is studying the door, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Actually, it’s not that bad. They didn’t even scratch it. It’s just a dent. With the right amount of leverage…”

“I’m sorry, do you happen to have a magical car-door fixer in your overnight bag?”

Somehow, this causes Stiles to turn bright red. “Okay. I have an idea. But you have to promise not to laugh.”

“Okay…?”

Derek watches, perplexed, as Stiles pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat, and then rummages around in it.

“Promise not to laugh,” Stiles repeats.

“I promise.” Derek is confused, but sincere.

Stiles pulls a bright blue dildo out of the bag. It’s springy, and jiggles a little with the movement. There’s a thick vein running along the side, and the base even has… balls.

Derek’s brain short circuits, an image of Stiles, naked, working himself on the girth of the toy, his mouth open, panting, as he tries to get the right angle, skin flushed pink from pleasure…

“Fuck,” Derek says.

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best story ever...

Pete: Hi
Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “yo, I know about music.” then Patrick’s like “yo I know more about music!” “that’s impossible. so you wanna start a band?” and Patrick’s like, “yeah that’s cool.” and then, he’s like “yo this is a book store not a music store.” and then they met at Patrick’s house. so Patrick’s wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin’ reason and then Pete’s there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they’re like “oh, let’s play some covers from some other bands.” it was like Green Day, and fuckin’ Misfits, and fuckin’ Ramones. Pete said to Joe, “yo, that’s dope, but we need a fuckin’ drummer.” because Patrick’s playing drums and he’s a singer. Patrick’s like “yo, I got a soul voice,” and they’re like “wait how do you have a soul voice?” and he’s like “yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!” and they’re like, “oh my god, that sounds like soul!” so they put it in a song, and it was like, “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!” and they’re like “yo that’s fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy.” and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. “it’s called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend.” with your ex-girlfriend. it’s called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it’s called eating out your girlfriend, and it’s real and it doesn’t matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he’s like “you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin’ doooooooooope!” so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they’re like “you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin’ record it.” and he did, and he killed it, and he was like “bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!” killin’ the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin’ the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you’re getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, ‘cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like “yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin’ hard, we will sign you guys.” and Pete was like “yo, we got this record that’s fuckin’ dooooooope, dude, it’s called Take This to Your Grave, it’s called From Under the Cork Tree it’s gonna be fucking huge.” and then Patrick’s like “I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it’s called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin’ Down. and they made this record that was fuckin’ dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that’s gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd.” Pete was like, “yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want.” and Joe was like, “yeah it’s cool man whatever I don’t give a shit.” and then Andy was like “eh, cool.” and Pete was like “Make up is fuckin’ great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful.” I’m good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like “oh my god, I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic.” and then I saw the dick pic and was like “ah it’s not bad.” it’s not a bad dick. let’s be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like “yo, fuck you guys!” they’re like “yo! Panic! has the fuckin’ cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we’re gonna fucking go miles above. we’re gonna hit every fuckin’ continent there is known to man.” but they didn’t because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like “oh shit, we got every continent.” and they didn’t actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, “WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent’ it’s like FUCK YOU!” so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin’ have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it’s so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like– so Patrick’s like “yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity– from infinity on high.” Pete was like “yo folie à deux means the theatric of two.” “The madness of two.” oh sorry I’m sorry. follow boy was like “yo we got to take a break.” Meaning Pete was like “yo we got to take a break bro.” and Patrick’s like “I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh.” and joes like “yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me– metal” and andys like “i’m just gonna play with some fucking metal bands.” and they’re like “all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 ½? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong.” you took my beer away what the fuck? “no you poured it all over yourself.” “yeah you poured it on yourself man here.” “we got to make this shit legit it’s gonna be fucking dope it’s going to go fucking sky high. we’re going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we’re going to call this record save rock 'n’ roll.” so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody’s like “what the fuck? you’re working with this guy who fuckin’ recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk.” is this pu– what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like “yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that’s all and that’s all that matters. and that’s just how the fuckin’ story goes

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
I’m falling apart

A/N: Reader is Jensen’s little sister who is going through a tough time with depression and Jensen is determined to help her. If this becomes a series it’s gonna be super dramatic & probably kinda twisty.

Trigger warning: Depression, suicidal thoughts.

Jensen threw his head back laughing at a joke Jared made. Looking around the table he realized how lucky he was. He was sitting at a table in Rome surrounded by his friends and fellow cast mates, enjoying the night. Tomorrow was the first day of the convention and the few days following it him and Jared would tour the city some before heading back home to his family. A gentle smile fell on Jensen’s lips when he thought about Danneel and the kids in Austin and all the plans they had for the hiatus.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Jensen grabbed it, smiling even wider when he saw Danneel’s name pop up on the caller ID.

“Hey babe.” He answered.

“Hey Jay.” Danneel’s voice responded, only something sounded off in her tone.

“What’s up?” Jensen said, standing up from his seat and walking away from the group, “You sound worried.”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m sure it’s nothing but…” Danneel trailed on.

“You’re kinda worrying me here Dee. What’s going on?” Jensen pushed.

“It’s Y/N.” Danneel responded.

“My sister? Is she okay?” Jensen quickly pushed.

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Inked

***PLEASE NOTE: This is Part One of a series. You can find Part Two linked below.***

Pairing: TattooArtist!Daveed x Reader

Requested?: Nope. I’m literally just a slut for tattoos and @gratitudejoyandsorrow got this idea in my head, so this imagine was born. 

Prompt: Your first tattoo experience was more pleasant than you thought it would be. 

Words: 2.4k+

Part One | Part Two

A/N: My first Daveed imagine and it is super self-indulgent, who would’ve thought? This is a Tattoo Artist AU (if I didn’t make it clear before) and I’m in love with it. Shout out to @diggs4life , @tempfixeliza , @helplesslylins and @secretschuylersister for being so encouraging and amazing these past couple days. Shout out to Lola for inspiring this! I hope you all enjoy :)

Originally posted by saymaybetothis


You were finally going to do it. After a year of contemplating, you had found the perfect tattoo to go under your collarbone. That was step one, you spent another month looking up all the tattoo parlors in the neighborhood and ultimately choosing one that had good reviews and modest prices. Today was your appointment and as you left your front door and entered the summer heat, you could feel the urge to chicken out clawing at the back of your mind.

No.

This has been put off for far too long. It was now or never. So you took a deep breath and continued the trek to the bus. 20 minutes later you found yourself outside the parlor, 5 minutes earlier than the time you set with the man on the phone. You stared at the door as if it was going to open and pull you in itself but, you had to make the move. With the last burst of confidence you had, you swung open the door and stepped inside. Waiting there to greet you was a man with medium brown hair and dark green eyes, his tank top left little to the imagination as your eyes were instantly pulled to his many tattoos over his arms and shoulders, stopping right at his neck. He glanced up as the doorbell rang, giving you a small smile as you made your way over.

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POPULAR TEXT POSTS + ASK MEME  (  PART 3  )

❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜
❛ idc (i do care) ❜
❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜
❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜
❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜
❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜
❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜
❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜
❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜
❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜
❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜
❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜
❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜
❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜
❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜
❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜
❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜
❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜
❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜
❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜
❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜
❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜
❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜
❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜
❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜
❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜
❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜
❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜
❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜
❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜
❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜
❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜
❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜
❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜
❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜
❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜
❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜
❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜
❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜
❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜
❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜
❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜
❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜
❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜
❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜
❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜
❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜
❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜
❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜
❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜
❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜
❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜
❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜
❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  my way through life ❜
❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜
❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜
❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜
❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜
❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜
❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜
❛ me? cancelled ❜
❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜
❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜
❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜
❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜
❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜
❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜
❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜
❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜
❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜
❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜
❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜
❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜
❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜
❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜
❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜
❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜
❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜
❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜
❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜
❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜
❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜
❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜
❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜
❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜
❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜
❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜
❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜
❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜
❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜
❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜

(  you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2 )

Mbti types as sighs that they do

ISFJ: the ‘I’m so disappointed in you but I dont want to make a fuss but air is just releasing itself without my consent’ sigh

INFJ: the ‘nonononono nooooooooooooooo ughhhhhhhhhhhhh my life is over, take me now’ sigh

ISFP: the ‘fine I forgive you because you look really guilty so just don’t let it happen again’ sigh

ESFJ: the ‘why don’t you go outside more? And if you say anything about preferring to stay home over going out then I’m going to sigh loudly’ sigh

INFP: the 'I’m an introvert please respect my space it has nothing to do with you or your party but I’m so tired of explaining all this to you again’ sigh

INTJ: the 'I gave you ONEEEE job but you somehow still messed this up too’ sigh

ISTJ: the 'I just like things neat and tidy why dafuq are you mad AT ME for cleaning your desk and organizing your life for you’ sigh

ISTP: the 'I’m never doing anyone another favor for as long as I live’ sigh

INTP: the 'this is going to take too long for me to explain to you and now my mind is already drifting so I’m just gonna do it by myself - you are no longer needed kthanksbye’ sigh

ENFJ: the 'I told you this would happen repeatedly but why didn’t you listen to me and now we gotta deal with this because I secretly get off on this drama’ sigh

ESFP: the 'I can’t believe I did this AGAINNN! why can’t I make good decisions? why is there so much dramaaa?!’ sigh

ENFP: the 'I can’t decide what food to get bc there are too many choices and now the waiter looks like he’s gonna spit in my food - okay fine I’ll have the pasta …dammit I should’ve gotten the risotto instead’ sigh

ESTJ: the 'I called you 10 minutes in advance because I know you’re always late and yet you’re still late right now’ sigh

ENTJ: the 'they don’t want my help but they’re doing it wrong and it would just be so much easier if they did it my way’ sigh

ESTP: the 'I’m so done with all of your drama you’re fking crayyyzeee’ sigh

ENTP: the 'fine I surrender but only because you’ll finally shut up if I do’ sigh

Teen Wolf Imagine Prompts

1. “please back away.” “no I know you won’t hurt me.”

2.“don’t go I can’t be alone.”

3.“It’s not your fault.”

4. “being with you shouldn’t be this hard.”

5.“they can’t hurt you anymore.”

6.“did it hurt?” “what when I fell from heaven?” “no when you fell for me.”

7.“I heard you’re a player, so lets play a game.”

8.“please put me down, it’s just a sprained ankle.”

9.“why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM!”

10.“so why did you punch him again?”

11.“I can’t escape this now, not  unless you show me how.”

12.“I had to lose my way to ultimately know what path to take.”

13.“you’re a survivor, it’s written all over your body.”

14.“I will love you unconditionally.”

15.“if you can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right one.”

16.“I’m either going out for ice cream or to commit a heinous crime, I’ll decide in the car.”

17.“this plan of yours is going to get us killed! oh who am I kidding, i’m in!”

18.“what’s our exit strategy?” “our what?” “oh god, this is how I die.” “please like i’d ever let that happen.”

19.“it’s gotta get easier and easier, somehow just not today.”

20.“you haven’t experienced loss like I have.”

21.“all of my mistakes, have finally led up to this moment of truth.”

22.“the sun hasn’t even come up yet and you want me to do what now?”

23.“that feeling, the one you’re feeling right now, it’s called regret.”

24.“it’s nice to see someone appreciates my humor!”

25.“honestly, the worse thing you can do is stare.”

26.“somehow you don’t even have to open your mouth to make my head hurt.”

27.“you just give the impression that you want to murder everyone you look at.” “well I don’t want to murder you.”

28.“I could never hurt you because you never gave me the power to.”

29.“the problem is, if I kiss you, I don’t know that i’d be able to stop.”

30.“isn’t it lonely keeping everything bottled up like that?”

31.“sometimes i’m not angry, i’m hurt, and there is a big difference.”

32.“I never stood a chance did I?” “that’s the sad part, you did at one time.”

33.“do you have any idea what you’ve just done?” “well would it be any fun if I did?”

34.“look at you sacrificing yourself for others. I was starting to think you didn’t have a heart.”

35.“that was a sad attempt at an apology.” “well I’ve never actually apologized to someone before.” “Never?” “I guess you could say you changed me.”

36.“you know normal people don’t have this many weapons in their basement.” “i’ll have you know all of these knives saved my life at one point.” “oh yeah what about that gun over there?” “that’s just for decoration.”

37.“just let yourself be selfish for one night would you?”

38.“wow that was deep, like deeper than the pacific.”

39.“these walls have fallen before, what makes you think they haven’t learned from it.”

40.“it’s your choice, you can continue with your worthless life, or become someone who matters.”

Originally posted by teenwxlves

Originally posted by imaginesofthings

Originally posted by inter-somniac

Originally posted by dalanne

Originally posted by alexiegrey

Originally posted by teenwolfalwaysalive

Originally posted by deanskitten

Originally posted by rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts

TEEN WOLF IMAGINE PROMPTS! JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT NUMBER AND WHICH ONE OF THESE HUNKS YOU WANT IT WITH!

XOXOX

REQUESTS CURRENTLY CLOSED.

Obi-Wan: [text] Great news, Anakin! The mission has gone exceedingly well, and I am set to return home this evening. 
Anakin: oh wow
[huge pause]
Obi-Wan: Is everything OK? I would have expected more excitement given that it’s 3 days ahead of schedule. 
Anakin: no im super excited its going to be so great 
Anakin: what time r u thinking
Obi-Wan: 9 or so
Anakin: oh 
Anakin: thats great im really excited 
Obi-Wan: You seem nervous
Anakin: what lol just excited no its gonna be so great y would u think im nervous
Obi-Wan: You’re saying “great” and “excited” a LOT, for one thing. 
Anakin: lol no im fine ur being weird this is really exciting 
Anakin: ive gotta run im doing some reports see u soon xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox luv u

Anakin: [text] snips u there its urgent pls answer 
Ahsoka: Im in a class right now master
Anakin: tell them i said u can leave early its A HUGE EMERGENCY 
Ahsoka: Oh no! Are you safe? did we get called into a mission?
Anakin: im fine snips but i wont be if u do not come help me like SERIOUSLY RIGHT NOW
Ahsoka: OMG of course I’ll be right there hang on master!!! Should I comm rex and tell him to send reinforcements??
Anakin: yes pls bring over everyone you can ok NOW

Obi-Wan: [text] Anakin is texting you isn’t he?
Ahsoka: yes hes in trouble master kenobi 
Ahsoka: dont worry im getting some people together and we’re on our way to him I wont let you down 
Obi-Wan: Yes, well, I wouldn’t worry too much, Padawan. I have a feeling the only thing your master requires help with is the enormous mess he’s made of our quarters. 
Ahsoka: What?
Ahsoka: You think he’d call me out of a class and tell me to bring half the 501st to help him clean?
Ahsoka: Oh my god what am i saying yes he would 
Ahsoka: but how bad could it be in your quarters? You’ve only been gone a week
Obi-Wan: Search your feelings. 
Ahsoka: oh my god 
Obi-Wan: Yes. The last time I came home he was wearing a bedsheet as a tunic because he’d already run out of laundry and there was a hole burned through the wall that he claims happened on its own. 
Obi-Wan: I’d been gone for 2 days that time. I can only imagine what awaits me this time. 

That One Dreadful Call

Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 974

Warnings: ANGST (which isn’t a shocker with me anymore) 

A/N: Here’s your Daddy!Jensen angst!!! I hope you all enjoy it…there may be a part two or I may just be a bitch and leave it like this lol anyways thanks to @mamapeterson for the beta and feedback is gratefully appreciated!!!

Jensen couldn’t stop smiling. While waiting for the set to be prepared again he started thinking about you and your four year old daughter who looked exactly like you, but had his eyes. He had everything he could have ever wanted and more. Ever since marrying you, you had truly made him a better man and he could never stop showing you how much he appreciates and loves you. Last night was one of those nights, after Olivia fell asleep, you were all his and everything was completely perfect. Jensen actually felt himself starting to blush as he started thinking about last night in such a public place. He was brought out of his thoughts by the directors booming voice, rubbed the back of his neck, and made his way back to his marker.

Many takes later it was finally lunch time and also around the same time you would pick Olivia up from pre-K. Which would result in him getting a FaceTime call of the two of you as you drove back home. All throughout lunch Jensen was constantly checking his phone, so much that Jared noticed, “Hey man, she probably just forgot or got busy with the teacher or something. Don’t sweat it.”

“Do you think I should call just to be sure?”

Jared shook his head, “Nah, I’m telling you everything is fine.

“But she always calls, this isn’t just something she would all of a sudden forget to do.”

“I know, which is why I’m saying something else must have come up to where she couldn’t FaceTime you.” Jared’s head lifted when he heard the director’s voice once again. Slapping the side of Jensen’s arm he gave him a reassuring smile, “Come on, back to work we go.”

Jensen gave a nod of his head as he stuffed his cell phone back into his pocket, he’d find out why he didn’t get his call when he got home tonight. Jared was probably right, it was most likely nothing and Jensen was just overreacting. But then again if you did have something else to do…why didn’t you just send him a quick text? He shook his head and brushed it off as he walked back onto set, immediately transforming into Dean Winchester.


Jensen went about the rest of his day without a single call or message from you still. Now he was really starting to get worried. He moved you here to Vancouver with him so he could always be with you and never miss a moment of Olivia growing up. Even though he was about an hour away you still talked to him like you still lived in Austin, he was your best friend and you were his. So to go all day without hearing anything from you…really made him nervous.

It was at the beginning of the final scene, one more hour till he got to go home, when his phone finally rang. The director wasn’t all that happ,y but Jensen answered it anyways, waving off the director, “Y/N, babe, why haven’t you called me all day? Is something wrong?”

Jensen heard sniffling along with little whimpers and his brow scrunched together, that wasn’t you, “Olivia? Baby girl, where’s mommy?”

She whimpered one last time before Jensen heard someone else whispering to her, “Olivia, is that mommy? Can you hand her the phone?” This was when Jensen really started to panic and he wasn’t sure what was going on. He felt Jared’s hand on his shoulder with a questioning look but he just gave him the ‘hold on’ finger.

“D-Daddy…t-the mean man t-told me dat m-mommy can’t t-talk right now…dat y-you gotta find us. C-Come find us daddy…I-I scared….” He heard her starting to cry again as she pleaded for him to help her. His heart dropped, his stomach twisted into a knot, and he could feel his throat starting to close up. His little girl was calling out to him to help her and save her and he had no idea where you or her even were.

“Liv…tell me who has you and daddy will be right there!” He waited barely a second and he didn’t hear her voice or her whimpers anymore. “Liv! Olivia!” Jensen shut his eyes and some tears escaped just as another voice spoke through the phone.

“Jensen! Hey buddy, how’s it hanging?!”

“J-James?” That’s all Jared needed to hear and he pulled away from Jensen and started to call the police on his cell phone.

Jensen heard this blood curdling laugh on the other end, “You sound so surprised! I told you that you’d be seeing me again! Looks like someone didn’t believe me!” James said in a sing song taunting tone that made Jensen shudder..  

“You tell me where you have them and we can settle this right now. James, you give me back my family!” Jensen’s voice broke as his knees gave out. “Please. I’ll give you anything you want, just give me my family back.”

“Ya know…as tempting as that is…and let me tell ya, having you offer up anything that I want is really really tempting…I’m gonna have to pass. We haven’t had our fun just yet! Toodles Jay!” James started laughing again and Jensen couldn’t stop the furious tears as he heard those last two words and then there was nothing at all except for the cruel dial tone heckling him. Jensen screamed and then threw his fist into the ground not caring about the pain that just erupted throughout his arm. Jared rushed over and slung an arm around Jensen’s shoulders, pulling his friend into his body as Jensen gave in and cried.

“We’ll get ‘em back Jay…we’ll get ‘em back,” Jared promised, waving away several people that had come over, asking what was happening.

Part 2

Keep reading

“That right there is the phone. Now let’s talk about the phone. Can we talk about the phone, please, Sans? I’ve been dying to talk about the phone with you all day, OK? “W.D. Gaster,” this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Gaster’s calls get sent back to me. W.D. Gaster! W.D. Gaster! I look at my phone, and its full of messages for W.D. Gaster!  So I say to myself, “I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his messages in the guy’s goddamn ears! Otherwise, he’s never going to get it and he’s going to keep coming back down here.” So I go up to Gaster’s office and what do I find out, Sans? What do I find out?! There is no W.D. Gaster. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, “Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper.” There’s no W.D. Gaster? You gotta be kidding me! I got my phone full of Gaster! All right. So I start marchin’ my way down to Alphys in the lab and I knock on her door and I say, “Alphys! Alphys! I gotta talk to you about Gaster.” And when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that lab! There…is…no…Alphys in the lab. Sans, half the people in this building have been made up. This lab is a goddamn ghost town.”

This is how i felt when i was first found out about gaster

based on this

The Call

Pairing:  Jensen x Reader (Female)

Summary:  It’s been a tough day on set for Director Ackles until he receives a call from the reader.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Dirty talk, bit of smut… I think that’s it…

A/N: This is for Kari’s Favorite Things Challenge hosted by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing !!! She’s a fantastic writer so go check her out! My prompt was talking on the phone with Jensen, and it’s my first time writing Jensen, so any critiques is appreciated! Also I’m starting a new tag list so let me knopw if you would like to be tagged in anything

(Gifs are not mine)

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The One with the Blackout - Daddy’s Little Lovebug

Word Count: 5367

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst where I said there would be none. I’m sorry. 

A/N: Written for @sis-tafics and @eyes-of-a-disney-princess Hubba Bubba Birthday Challenge. Sorry it’s like a week late. Life happened. This also wasn’t what I was originally gonna write but again…life happened. Sorry. 

Constructive feedback always appreciated!

Daddy’s Little Lovebug Masterlist


“So this is pretty nice.” Dean chuckled, grabbing your hand across the diner table. Sam and Eileen volunteered to spend the night watching JoJo to give Dean and you the night to yourselves and you’d spent it eating greasy diner food at an old dive bar. It was very much your style. “Not that I don’t miss my little girl but adult time is fun too.”

“You know she’s probably sprawled across our bed, right?” Dean snorted a laugh and nodded, knowing you were right. She always did that when you were both gone unless she passed out on the couch with Sam or in Sam’s bed.

“Well, this is a treat.” A voice sneered from behind you as the diner suddenly went dark and silent. High heels got closer and you turned, staring at a face you recognized quite well. “Never thought I’d run into you two again. Where’s that precious little girl of yours?” The tall blonde staring down Dean and you was a witch you both failed to kill several years ago, Gretchen, but you managed to kill her entire coven and family. You thought you ran her off, never to be seen again, but you were apparently wrong. “Come on…what’s her name again? Joanna Celeste Winchester?”

You gritted your teeth, unsure of how she knew about your daughter. “Who?” You decided to play stupid and Dean followed along.

“You must have us confused with other hunters. We don’t have a kid.”

“What dumbass would bring a kid into this life?” You scoffed, reaching for the gun tucked away in your holster.

Keep reading

#7 From the ambiguous prompt list u know which one i’m talking about

a/n: i’m about to fly the fuck through this and see how fast i can whip it out lmao. dis 4 u @illumendes


“Shawn,” You say quietly, siting up in your king sized bed, rubbing a hand over Shawn’s back to wake him up. You feel the baby stirring in your tummy, and usually you wouldn’t wake him when this happens, thinking it’s just Braxton-hicks contractions, but these feel stronger than usual. 

“Shawn, wake up,” You whisper again a little louder, making him start to stir. He mumbles something that you assume is along the lines of ‘what is it?’  but he doesn’t even open his eyes. 

“Shawn, I think i’m in labor,” You reply, still in a whisper, but Shawn shoots up out of his sleep, throwing himself in an upright position. 

Keep reading

Welcome back.

Pairing : Past!JaredxReader, Jensen, Gen
Word count : 2,244
Author :Mel

Part 1 in ‘My son, Bringer of Storms’.



Making his way across the lot from his trailer to the set, Jared was looking down at his phone, smiling at the picture of his boys, when Jensen seemed to pop up out of nowhere. “Jesus, Jen..” He shot his friend a look. “What’s up?”

“Uh. Hang out out here with me for a bit?”

Jared furrowed his brow. “Dude, we just got called to set..”

“Yeah but.. You don’t want to go in there right now..” Jensen licked his lips, hoping he could convince Jared to stay out just a bit longer.

“What did you do?” Jared smiled.

“What? Nothing.” Jensen scoffed.

“I heard there’s new people working on set. Did you prank someone without me? This I gotta see.” He chuckled and pulled open the door.

“Fuck.” Jensen grumbled and followed him in.

Keep reading

A piece from Drknz13.

Friiiiiiiiiiisk! Man, it is good to see you babe! What gives? I prepped this spaghetti for you days ago. Just for you. It is you, right? I mean, who could recognize you under all that gear? And RUGGEDNESS, BABY! Now come on Frisky baby, whip it out! You know what I mean, that crazy determination of yours! Let’s get you jumpin’ and dodgin’, smilin’ and huggin’, datin’ and smoochin’!”

“Wait, hold on. Oh, no no NO, baby! Don’t tell me: You. Lost. Your determination!” 

“Ah, hold up, I gotta call Asgore.”

“AsgOOOOOOORE, baby! Listen up, you are not gonna believe this-”

(gets phone destroyed)

“Haven’t lost your touch, Frisky. Alright. Let’s date.”

One day at a time (chapter 1) Lin-Manuel x Reader

I had a 9 hour plane journey with nothing to do so I wrote a stupidly long fluffy fic as part of a new series.  

Summary: This is based on Lin’s adorable tweet about him messing around on tinder. Old Man Miranda explores Tinder while logged into his friend’s account and has an awkward conversation with Reader. Awkwardness and some fluff ensues. It’’s about time I wrote something that wasn’t totally angsty for a change.

Warnings: Nothing but fluff, but I definitely swear more than I think I do.

Word Count: 3,989


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break my heart- h.s song imagine

you can listen to the song here

Originally posted by hey-vi0let

I will not forget

All the wonderful things you’ve done

You sat on the cold floor of your kitchen, tears flowing out of your eyes. You let out a shaky sigh, a sob about to burst through. It was if the world was out to get you today. One thing after another. You woke up late for your uni class, you forgot that a test was scheduled and ended up turning in a test with hardly anything on it because you didn’t know the information, you had to work double shifts since your coworker decided to call in sick, you went to pick up dinner but your card was declined since someone was accessing your bank account. It was just national “Piss on Y/N Day.”

You heard keys jingling in your door before a voice called out to you. Harry turned the corner into the kitchen and sighed, “Oh, love.” You looked up at Harry and started to sob. Harry quickly sat on the floor next to you and pulled you into his lap. He started whispering things such as “You’re going to be okay, love.” or “I love you, you brave girl.”

Eventually your crying ceased. You were just enjoying the feeling of Harry’s arms around you. You quickly looked at him, “You’re supposed to be at Jeff’s birthday dinner right now!”

Harry kissed your forehead. “Jeff will understand. Gotta make sure my girl’s okay.”


It’s like a test, it’s like a game

To see how much I can take

Harry was pacing in front of you, face red. You were looking down at your hands, sat on the couch in his living room.

“I just don’t understand what the big deal is, Y/N!” Harry turned to you, crossing his arms. “Doesn’t change anything! Still love you!”

You sighed for the millionth time that time. You pinched your nose and closed your eyes. “Why do you have to pretend you’re dating someone else? What good will that do?”

Harry sat down next to you. “It’ll get people talking. It’ll bring up my name more. My album would be talked about more.” You looked down at the coffee table, “Why can’t you be seen with me? Why can’t I be the reason why you’re being talked about?”

This time Harry sighed, wanting the conversation to end, “We’ve been seen together already and already claimed we’re friends. Bringing someone new will bring more conversation to the table.” Harry stood up from the couch and looked down at you, “Whether you like it or not, this is happening.” He walked to his bedroom and slammed the door. Not wanting to be there any longer, you grabbed your jacket and left his apartment.


Tell me you’ve never loved me

Tell me that it wasn’t real

Just say you’ve found somebody else

Since the fight, Harry stayed true to his word. Him and his publicity team found someone he could pretend to date. To say she was beautiful was an understatement. She was the classic “girl next door.” What Harry didn’t mention was just how long this whole ordeal would go on. It’s been a month and Harry was still required to be seen with this girl. What he also failed to mention was the lack of communication the two of you would have. Missed calls, unanswered texts, hardly coming to one another’s apartments. He was in the same city but you’ve never felt as far as you did from him. You were looking at your phone, a new picture of “Harry and his beau” was on the screen. Your best friend was staring at your every move, a look of sympathy on her face. “You know. He should just date her. Make things easier. If he wants to be seen with someone else so badly just fucking be with her.” You mumbled, reading the article of Harry and his new love interest.

Your best friend winced, not wanting to upset you any more. “You don’t mean that, Y/N.”

You slammed your phone down and looked up at her. “I mean it, he should just get it over with already.”


Pictures disappear

And every memory will fade

“I’m so sorry, Y/N!” Harry said while on FaceTime with you. You were in the living room of your apartment, a banner saying “Happy birthday” hanging behind you. You moved out of the way as your friends were gratefully cleaning after the party. “Management thought it would be nice to be seen at Paris! Thought it would look like a little get away! Make it seem romantic!” Harry tried reasoning with you. You looked at him with an emotionless face. I should be going on a runaway trip to Paris with you. Especially on my fucking birthday. “It’s fine, Harry.” You started walking to your bedroom door, passing down hallways filled with pictures of you and Harry.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.”


Break my heart

You stared at the magazine in front of you. Mocking you and confirming your worst nightmare. On the picture was a photo of Harry kissing his “girlfriend” with his arms wrapped around her waist. You stared at it with no emotion whatsoever. Somehow, you knew this would happen. You were done.


This can only end one way

Just do it now, I don’t wanna wait

“Break up with me” You said as soon as Harry’s apartment door opened.

Harry gave you a look. He knew you saw that picture. He gasped, “What..No.”

You pushed him out of the way and walked into his apartment. “Clearly I don’t mean anything to you if you’re out cheating on me.”

Harry closed the door and looked at you, “Cheating! It’s for-”

“I know! It’s for work but that kiss wasn’t for work! That was solely for your own pleasure!” You screamed at him, hands flying to your hair and tugging on it.

Harry panicked and walked up to you, hands trying to find yours, “Love, please let me explain-”

You quickly backed away from him and started to walk to the door. You turned your head over your shoulder. “We’re though.”


don’t forget to send in your requests on what song i should do next!