i got you isn't that funny

  • Draco: Nice robe, Granger
  • Hermione: Even if I got it at 50% off? Isn't that too cheap for you?
  • Draco: Well, I'd like them better if they were 100% off
  • Hermione: Stores can't just give away clothes for free, Draco
  • Draco: ... That's not what I meant
  • Hermione: *not listening* That would be an awful way to run a business
  • Draco: ... *gives up*
BTS' s Rap line rapping up cypher pt. 5
  • - In the Studio-
  • Namjoon: Cypher pt.5 is looking good, but I think we need someone to feature in it.
  • Sope: *nodding*
  • Taehyung: *pops up*
  • Yoongi: What about Jimin? He killed it on my track tony montana. Talking about he can't rap, boy stay lying.
  • Hoseok: True, true, but what about Jungkook? He isn't the golden mankae & our sub rapper for no reason.
  • Yoongi: True, true.
  • Taehyung: Umm... can I be featured in cypher pt 5?
  • Rap line: .... *LAUGHING HARD* 😂😂😂
  • Taehyung: ....
  • Yoongi:   THIS KID! "CAn I BE feaTURed iN cYPheR Pt 5?"
  • Hoseok: What a comedian! Boy got jokes!
  • Namjoon: *wipes tears* Here son, take my card and ask your eomma jin to take you to the gucci store. You cute, you cute.
  • Taehyung: but I was serious...
  • Rap line: * LAUGHING HARDER* 😂😂😂
  • Taehyung: *leaves studio mad pouting*
  • Hosoek: V is something else I swear.
  • Namjoon: I know right?!
  • Yoongi: Yeah funny shit...so cypher pt. 5 ft jikook?
  • Namseok: Yup!

anonymous asked:

This isn't really an ask, I just wanted to tell you thank you. I've been going through some hard times (suicidal thoughts, anxiety, ect). I stress a lot about college even though im only 13. I want to be an animator but im terrified I'll disapoint my mom and step-dad. Today I got your notification for your recent post. Seeing that funny drawing of your cyborg character jugging that juice made me really happy and cheered me up a lot. Looking at your art always makes me want to keep going. :)

Dearest anon, I understand what its like to have those kind of thoughts and feelings. It means the world to me that my stuff can cheer you up! When I was 13 I was incredibly new to drawing and I had a wolf oc that had fire powers. I never would have dreamed of being able to draw some of the things I can now. If you are truly passionate about drawing and animation and have the drive to practice you will succeed! I have faith in you!

the signs as famous beatles quotes
  • Aries: uh no i'm a mocker (RS)
  • Taurus: BLUE MAYONNAISE?!?! BLUE MAYONNAISE!! BLUE MEANIES. (PM RS GH)
  • Gemini: no actually we're just good friends (PM)
  • Cancer: I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS (RS)
  • Leo: the rest of you if you just rattle your jewellery (JL)
  • Virgo: Look John, I've had some great times with this finger. (RS)
  • Libra: turn left at greenland (JL)
  • Scorpio: it was very observant of them because we aren't american, actually (JL)
  • Sagittarius: lord, throw some brains from heaven (PM)
  • Capricorn: ringo isn't even the best drummer in the beatles (JL)
  • Aquarius: I now declare this bridge, open (JL)
  • Pisces: you won't interfere with the basic rugged concept of me personality will 'ya madam? (GH)

anonymous asked:

Can you do one where it's like how you think each one would act around children? Sorry if this doesn't make sense as English isn't my first language

I think I got it! Also, if you can learn s second language YOU’RE A GOD.

I’m sorry this took forever T~T



Akira Kurusu

  • Doesn’t like em, doesn’t hate em
  • He’s cool with chilling with some kids
  • Like, they’d love him, he’d love them
  • But if they were like, lil shits
  • MMMMMMmmmMMmMMmMM
  • He can have fun with them, can have a funny and enjoyable conversations
  • That one guy who agrees to whatever the kid wants to do as long as it’s not like, burning down a house
  • Makes Ryuji stay far away so that they don’t learn any new curse words
  • Makes sure they are pure af and don’t have to learn the horrors of the world yet.
  • ALL KIDS ARE PRINCES/PRINCESSES/OTHER
  • They probably remind him of our pure lil Futaba

Ryuji Sakamoto

  • Sorta dislikes em, depending on what type of kid it is
  • Unsurprisingly, he likes rowdy kids, but is able to enjoy prim, proper children
  • Cannot, for the life of him, censor himself.
  • And he feels so bad about it
  • HELP I’M TAINTING THESE CHILDREN FUXK WAIT NO DAMMIT WAIT SHIT AUUGGHH
  • Fears that if his temper gets the better of him that he might hurt them, so he rathers he stay away from kids
  • He’s gotta cross that fear though!! He has some of the PT help him
  • When he plays a game or sport, he let’s them win
  • Bc he would be best dad actually fight me

Ann Takamaki

  • She would be SO GOOD WITH CHILDREN LEMME TELL U H ERE
  • ALL CHILDREN LOVE HER
  • LOVE
  • HER
  • She’s best with girls but boys also love her ;)
  • Like she braids their hair if it’s long enough, agrees to do their nails
  • Y’know girly stuff
  • With the boys, she takes them to movies, and plays with them
  • She can rough house with the guys no problem

Yusuke Kitagawa

  • Awkward as all hell
  • He doesn’t know what to do
  • Is very intimidating because he’s so lanky and tall
  • And his face always looks so serious
  • Poor kid and Yusuke
  • If its an art kid though
  • Wowie
  • They art talk 4 dayz
  • 4 dayzzzz
  • Helps them draw/paint/sketch/other
  • Idk what else to put for lanky art boy

Makoto Nijima

  • She’d be a little uptight and nervous about being around kids
  • They’d see her as a strict older sister
  • She’d know what to do from Sae
  • And what not to do from Sae
  • She’s let them run free and do whatever they like, but would make sure they don’t get hurt
  • Help them with homework and make sure that they are prepared for the next day
  • Help them study and help them in a way where they remember what she says
  • They want her to become a teacher of some sort
  • She’s a tutor for children soon enough

Futaba Sakura

  • She’d be so shy with kids
  • If she eventually opened up to the children she would be one of the best with kids
  • Considering that she basically is a kid
  • Plays tons of video games with them!
  • Teaches them how to hack
  • She enjoys her time with kids too!!
  • It’s super cute
  • She shows them all the latest memes
  • Akira or Sojiro needs to be there to make sure they don’t get hurt
  • Everyone likes to see her with children because IT’S SO FREAKING CUTE AHHHHH
  • Most girls wants to braid her hair!
  • Her hair is so long and straight and beautiful
  • She likes taking the kids out for treats!
  • Basically, kids love her, she loves kids

Haru Okumura

  • Very polite with kids!
  • Probably knew kids and talked to them when she was helping out with the food business
  • Haru is great with kids, actually
  • She’s so kind and sweet that the kids love her!
  • She enjoys gardening, so she will garden with them if they like gardening
  • She makes sure that the kids want to do something before she agrees to do it
  • Basically she’s a pushover that everyone loves and respects
  • Knows what not to do as a parent
  • She knows exactly what the kids want and how to make them happy
  • She’s just an angel okay.
  • I’ll punch you if you hurt her

Goro Akechi

  • I WAS SO HYPED TO DO THIS ONE OKAY
  • OKAY:????
  • He knows what to do from his parents fuck ups
  • *coughs* Shido *cough*
  • He’s so nice to children
  • Basically he’s like pls don’t end up like me
  • He enjoys time with kids.
  • It’s actually so sweet i’m crying
  • Also, he’s kinda stiff and uptight about it, but he does eventually warm up
  • Younger kids usually don’t recognize him/ know who he is
  • And that is a breath of fresh air
  • He especially likes being around foster kids/ children in adoption centers
  • Some of the older kids know who he is, but at least they don’t bash him for not liking the phantom thieves.
  • Please be kind to my asshole son.
2

|| Just a Bro™ casually staring longingly into his Bro™’s empty office ‘cause he misses him.

anonymous asked:

Had an old man come in drive thru and order 2 burritos and a coffee. I read it back, he comes to the window and I charge him. He then says he only ordered one burrito. I void the one burrito give him his order and he leaves. Manager got mad cause we already got a lot voids and I got written up. Then the guy comes back and says "I wanted the burrito after all. Isn't that funny?" I told him what happened and his face just dropped. Yes, sir. Your actions do effect the employees. Fuck you

There was passion in Lando’s words. Han turned. Lando was staring at him.

“Did you hate me too?”

“No,” Lando said. “But you sure as hell made me ashamed of myself.”

He pushed off the cot and paced around the room. Then he yelped, bent over, and grabbed his calves. His face had gone gray again. Han got up and helped Lando back to the cot.

“Who’d’ve thought you’d get leg cramps from treading water?”

“Anyone who’s exercised,” Han said. “You should have asked Nandreeson to let you warm up before he tossed you in that pool.”

“Very funny.”

Han slowly stretched Lando’s leg, massaging the muscle. “No pushing, buddy. You almost didn’t survive that one.”

“I’m tough,” Lando said.

“Stupid is more like it. What were you thinking, coming back to the Run?”

“I had to find you, Han.” Lando stretched out his other leg.

The New Rebellion by Kristine Kathryn Rusch

Han got into trouble, so Lando put himself in the path of a guy who’d been trying to kill him for decades, nearly died, and now Han’s giving him a massage

This is gay

Lá Fhéile Vailintín

omfg one of the funniest moments in my secondary school career happened today.
our irish teacher (a sub that we’ve only had a few weeks) wanted us to write romantic poems for Valentine’s Day so she made us listen to poems people had sent in to our local radio station (raidió na gaeltachta) for “ionspráid”.
i’d like to point out that we are a class of native irish speakers and our teacher is a barely literate sub from Dublin. anyway, we were listening to what we thought was a sweet poem when we heard the line: “éiríonn mo bhod nuair a fheicim thú” which literally means “my dick rises when i see you”.
i’ve never laughed so much in my life. the best part was, the teacher had no fucking clue why we were crying from laughter and kept replaying the inherently sexual poem, (which got sexier as it went on) trying to figure out what we found so funny. i was in actual pain

rp starters: demonic goatman's bridge (buzzfeed unsolved)
  • "How are you gonna be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that?"
  • "I hate demons!"
  • "You go first."
  • "How are you feeling? You did it."
  • "There are some pretty shady things that have happened to people around here."
  • "Can you even look just a little bit worried?"
  • "Yeah. It's a demon."
  • "You've got a glazed look in your eyes."
  • "Yeah, I'm fucking nervous, man. I feel like I'm gonna vomit."
  • "Those were the days."
  • "We're all assholes here."
  • "None of us believe in ghosts."
  • "I don't know why I phrased it 'lucky for us.'"
  • "I think I was feeling brave when I wrote this."
  • "This isn't lucky for you at all."
  • "No one knows why there's this spectre of darkness just sitting on it."
  • "I'm gonna try to avoid saying 'demon' as much as I can."
  • "I'm not gonna let you goad me into this. I know what you're trying to do."
  • "I'm not trying to scare you, but I got a bad feeling about this one."
  • "Why are you unbuttoning your pants? We're in public right now."
  • "You've out-dumbed yourself."
  • "I thought this was gonna be funny, but now I'm actually kind of glad that I have it."
  • "There are several legends of bridges acting as gateways to another realm."
  • "This bridge and the surrounding woods are said to harbor a dark entity."
  • "There are records of people practicing rituals in this forest."
  • "How am I the same as a Satanist?"
  • "You believe everything they believe."
  • "You've gotta decide which side you're on."
  • "I'm on a whole other coin. A chill-ass wheat back penny or something."
  • "Demons are preternatural beings. Therefore, not human."
  • "I kind of directly disobeyed him."
  • "I'm doing it for the betterment of the science."
  • "You gonna ever visit him again and show him what you've done?"
  • "You're gonna need to cleanse yourself."
  • "Our goal isn't to figure out why this demon exists. It's to make contact."
  • "We can only hope that evidence doesn't come at a great cost."
  • "Any demons here? Any demons out tonight? Any horny boys?"
  • "I don't like when you say his name."
  • "You do what you gotta do, I'll do what I gotta do."
  • "Fuck you, goat man!"
  • "If you don't believe, there's nothing for you to be afraid of, right?"
  • "If you want me off this bridge, you're gonna have to kill me!"
  • "Don't loop me into your shit!"
  • "I'm not part of his little charade."
  • "Children will come here and tell tales of me."
  • "Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna murder you."
  • "What a load of horse shit."
  • "All right, idiot. It's your turn."
  • "Skip the theatrics and just go into it."
  • "If you want me off, you're gonna have to throw me off."
  • "You gotta admit, that's an effective technique."
  • "That's not an effective technique, that's a way to get killed."
  • "This is so much scarier than hunting fuckin' Sasquatch."
  • "People usually feel overcome with emotion in here. Like a violent emotion."
  • "Give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous. I'd appreciate that."
  • "People are greater threats than demons or ghouls."
  • "You're like one of those car wash blow-y things that's out front just wiggling around."
  • "That guy's whacked out of his mind."
  • "What if we just make it seem like we're in on it?"
  • "We're here for the cult stuff. We saw the ad on craigslist."
  • "It feels weird to even joke, I'm so fucking scared right now."
  • "Looks like a witch lair or something."
  • "Is that how it works? Is there like a hierarchy?"
  • "Put that cat down!"
  • "I'm just picturing being surrounded by cultists right now and it's freaking me the fuck out."
  • "It's very Blair Witch."
  • "Perhaps the moniker the demon is going by."
  • "Why not pick a name that strikes terror?"
  • "What's a scary name... Marsolomon? Barthazar? That's a pretty good demon name."
  • "This is your new favorite thing?"
  • "Conceivably, spirits could use that to communicate with us."
  • "You've got yourself a demon. Hands down."
  • "I'm in on this. It's fun."
  • "I'll go along with it, it's a fun gimmick."
  • "They do sell it at Toys R Us... but it's not a toy."
  • "I'm about to die for the internet."
  • "I wanted to be as safe as I could. I don't wanna go into this like an idiot."
  • "Every time I've seen someone do this on YouTube, they go at it like 'whOOOAAAAooAAAA!!!'"
  • "Hey, you demon fuck!"
  • "Jesus Christ, dropped all the decorum, didn't you?"
  • "I wanted to catch him off guard."
  • "They'll tell legends about me here. People will come here and talk about math and facts."
  • "This is your last chance, demon."
  • "Oh god, I feel like I've gone to the dark side."
  • "You're not gonna say mean things to it on the way out?"
  • "Just gloat a little bit. This is a win for you."
  • "As we snuff these candles, so too do we snuff you from this mortal world. You fuckin' wimp."
  • "There's a small fraction of my mind that's disappointed we didn't see him."

S/o to all the gay n bi people who got poked fun at for being the “frigid romance-hating one” before you came out and realized you don’t hate romance stories you just can’t engage with the same pretty cishet white people re-enacting the same weird misogynist plot lines eight million times 😩

anonymous asked:

it's kinda sad how people make yixing the clueless one in a scenario like the man is SO GODDAMN INTELLIGENT and never stops working and he always gives his all and he's bilingual AND i just want some good appreciation so can we have a smart yixing scenario please? i know people do it lightheartedly and some of it is funny but he isn't confused 24/7 nor is he dumb this also isn't a rant at you

sjknhfjkshfjuibds ok but yixing acts so clueless sometimes, it’s adorable, but honestly i think a lot of his cluelessness comes from being 110% exhausted 25/7 like how does he do it?? if only i had half the motivation he has then i could finish two masters degrees in 3 years probably. but u know what ?? ur right that boy is a LIBRA he’s always schemin on the inside he knows what he’s doing he’s got a plan to take over the world tbh

anonymous asked:

So like, this isn't even really ask I just thought it was funny and you would appreciate it too haha But I saw an interview where Heather Mills is all like "oh I've got Paul's story! Believe me! I'm just not giving it because I'm trying to protect him and our daughter" .....??!? Like... what "Paul story" that you can't seem to give out..? What's his secret Heather??! 👏🏻👏🏻

WHAT

EVEN HEATHER FUCKING MILLS KNOWS. I’M S.H.O.C.K.E.D

2

Gabe likes his coffee with lotsa milk and sugar. Why? what did you think was pasty white?

Gabe basically likes milk with a dash of coffee. He’s got plenty of energy of his own.

In which I have a fever and it’s 5 am and this is a sketch from December that I dug up for no good reason and did things to it. Many things. 

Jack’s clever not-clever-because-Gabe’s-still-asleep innuendos. Do ya get the half-ASSED joke?