The Great Dildo Mystery
I just remembered this from my days at the bullseye. It happened a few years ago, about three months after I got hired on. Tl;dr at bottom.
It was around this time of year, so it was hot as balls in the store. Plus, as a cashier, I couldn’t get away from the door. I felt like I was going to pass out a few hours into my shift so I got off register to get a drink. When I got back, I started straightening up because it wasn’t too busy. You know: facing candy, picking up random shit from the lanes, straightening magazines.
WELL when I got to the magazine rack attached to my lane, I saw a bag. Now, red flag number one was that it was not a bullseye bag. It was from a competitor, wedged in with Star.
And it wasn’t empty. Red flag number two. But, me being naive, I assumed someone had forgot something. So I grabbed it and looked inside.
It was a purple rabbit vibrator. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Worse? It was clearly used. It was filmy and grubby and had lint on it. Someone shoved a dildo on my lane.
My manager told me to bring it to AP, who I happened to be friends with. I spent twenty minutes in her office yelling about it because, fuck man, why leave your used dildo at a bullseye.
Tl;dr: someone shoved a used dildo in the magazine rack on my lane and i still can’t believe it.