i got told to make this for someone

anonymous asked:

I once told youthat I really liked one of my best friends, and now she has a boyfriend hahahlol *cries in Spanish*- Marcy

That’s unfortunate. I totally understand how that goes. Happens to us all. All I can really say is try to move on? It would probably make things really awkward if she found out now, but if you wanna tell her more power to ya. It’s really hard to forget about someone. Before Remus and I got together, I held in to this one crush of mine for literal years. Three to be exact. Learn from my mistakes. I would hate for there to end up being resentment between you two bc of held back feelings. If you ever wanna talk, our inbox is open.
-Sirius

i started writing original fiction because of a comment i got on a house md fic i wrote when i was 12 years old. someone said “this is out of character, house and wilson would never act like this.” so i thought, “if i make my own characters, no one can ever tell me they’re out of character, because i decide,” and i started planning my first novel. now i’m 23 and i’ve written 4 novel-length works, i have a degree in publishing and i work at a literary magazine, largely because someone insulted my house fanfiction. follow your dreams.

Stuff My Mom Has Told Me During Hamilton (Act 1)
  • Hamilton: "Why do they start out with the end? Spoilers!"
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: "How is telling someone you stalked and punched them a sure way to make friends?"
  • "Mom..."
  • "Who's the random French dude?"
  • "Lafayette."
  • "Where did he come from?"
  • "France, mom."
  • "Is this man having sex with horses?"
  • My Shot: "Didn't that guy sing this on Jimmy? The lyrics were different..."
  • The Story of Tonight: "I would not have told you about nights like that..."
  • The Schuyler Sisters: "That poor Peggy...she sounds adorable."
  • Farmer Refuted: "I have no clue what's being said..."
  • You'll Be Back: "Does this apply to what's going on now?"
  • Right Hand Man: "BURR JUST GOT REJECTED!"
  • A Winter's Ball: "With the ladies? Didn't you say he liked John?"
  • Helpless: "Girl this is gonna end bad for you..."
  • Satisfied: "How do you forget your name then - BAM! - now you remember?"
  • TSOT (Reprise): "They're cute when they're drunk."
  • Wait For It: "Wait - is everyone having an affair? You said Alex does right?"
  • "Mom just listen..."
  • "What does this have to do about Georgia?"
  • Stay Alive: "Did they eat horses asses?!"
  • Ten Duel Commandments: "How is General Lee here? Why do they hate him?"
  • "That's Charles Lee...you're thinking of Robert E. Lee."
  • "Oh."
  • Meet Me Inside: "Alexander you gonna get grounded!"
  • That Would Be Enough: "A little Hamilton sounds like a bad idea..."
  • Guns and Ships: "Damn he's fast."
  • History Has Its Eyes on You: "That's some deep shit..."
  • Battle of Yorktown: "I LIKE THIS ONE!"
  • "Mom please - "
  • "THEY WON!"
  • "I know they did mom."
  • What Comes Next: "Wait did he - oh my God. 'Awesome. Wow.' That's how I feel when your father talks about sports."
  • Dear Theodosia: "That's an awful name..."
  • "Mom!"
  • John Laurens Interlude (i had to): "Wait...what?"
  • Non-Stop: "How do you go from something so sad to this?! What the hell?!"

bad times with adhd:

  • cant read
  • can read, but cant comprehend what ur reading
  • boredom more like Time To Suffer
  • rsd
  • u wanna watch a video thats any amount of time??? thats too long, even if the video is like 10 seconds
  • becoming too aware of how things feel or how u do certain things or just regular bodily functions like breathing or blinking
  • staying up until 4 AM or later for no reason aside from adhd said so
  • that sinking feeling when u realized uve spaced out for most of a conversation and u feel too bad abt doing it to ask the person to repeat what they said 
  • overstimulation
  • meltdowns
  • when u have the motivation to get shit done, but executive dysfunction is like “lmfao nope”
  • trying to get certain stuff done and ur managing ok, but u still get distracted on occasion and u scold urself every time u do but u cant stop urself from doing it
  • the antsy anxiousness that comes with being confined to doing smth for too long
  • “i hope i remember this” u didnt remember it
  • outbursts which cause u to snap at ppl and then u feel bad but u couldnt help it
  • no volume control so ur constantly told to stop yelling but u cant make ur voice quieter 
  • *someone explains instructions and its a rather simple thing* “ok got it” u dont got it
  • getting irrationally irritated over the smallest shit but u cant help it everything is just So Frustrating 
  • “u know what i think im having a good day” and then mood swing that makes u either Super Sad or Super Mad for no reason
  • having what ur gonna say right in ur head but somehow u still space out in the middle of talking and forget what u wanted to say
  • forgetting why u were upset but still feeling upset
  • the sinking feeling of remembering why u were upset and now ur even more upset
  • when rsd is being extremely irrational and u know its bullshit but u dont have the energy to fight it so u just sit there in sadness
  • when rsd makes u self conscious abt stimming in public
  • having absolutely no time perception at all. what even is time ive never heard of that in my life
  • needing to get smth done and u manage to focus, but ur focusing on the wrong thing
  • overanalyzing past stuff thats happened and realizing other shit u couldve said that wouldve helped the situation and damn why didnt u think of that when u were in the situation
  • this is long i should stop now

jalapeno--business  asked:

So whenever I read trc, I'm always overwhelmed by this almost pathological desire to experience the same feelings of wonder and beauty and magic that you describe in the series. Yes, I understand that there is no sentient, magical forest to discover, and no sleeping king that I can search for, but I still have this urge to have similar feelings and experiences in my life. So how do you experience a similar kind of magic and wonder that you describe in your books, in everyday life?

Dear jalapeno–business,

Are you listening closely?

As an author, I travel a lot. At one point, I was on the road one day out of every three — planes, hotels, rental cars. There’s a rhythm to it, like running up a very long flight of stairs. You figure out how many stairs you can take in a jump, and how to breathe-in-breathe-out to keep from wasting your lungs, and you learn how to tell when you have to stop to rest your knees or you just won’t make it to the top. 

The airports and the planes and the people can all start to seem the same after awhile, if you’re looking at them wrong. If you let them. Anything in life can sound ordinary if that’s all you’re listening for.

Back in 2014, I was in a Texas airport. The night had that glittering senseless jitter to it that happens when you’re tired but going home, finally going home. I was early for my flight and sitting several gates away from my real gate, listening to music. A young man sat down two seats away. Ordinarily, tired and occupied with the peculiar every-day magic of the music in my headphones, I wouldn’t have noticed him, but a moment later, a phone rang. He asked if it was mine; it wasn’t. Someone had forgotten it on the seat between us. 

We both looked at it.

It rang again for someone who didn’t know to pick up, and then he took it away to one of the United desks for them to give it to someone who would listen. He didn’t return.

Two hours later, I went to my real gate to board. Full flight. Everyone was checking and double-checking their seat assignments as they defended their right to aisles and windows. When my seatmate settled himself next to me, I looked up, and it was the guy from the waiting area. He had a tilt to his chin that telegraphed that he thought he was hot shit and a grin that said he recognized me. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

We laughed ruefully and applied our headphones — we both knew the routine of polite air travel. But the agreeable tingle of the coincidence still ate at me, and I could tell it ate at him, too, because after a few moments, he offered me a truffle from his bag. I told him I couldn’t take it because of my allergies, but the headphones came off. We started to talk.

And he was a big talker. He was cocky. A surgical resident. He told me how he loved the hell out of taking internal organs out of people. He described how he listened to sixty-minute epic soundtracks in his ear buds while he removed appendixes and gallbladders, kidneys and stones. He told me of watching Dateline by himself at the end of seventy and eighty hour work weeks, and he told me about his Hyundai, which I made fun of. Confidentially, he whispered to me about a surgeon he knew who had the goal of removing every gallbladder in Texas. Two hours into the flight, the conversation tilted toward spirituality. He’s hot shit, he confessed, and works hard, but he sometimes wonders if he’s allowed to want to be successful, or if that makes him a bad person. Because he’s working a lot of hours in a week, and he’s tired, but he’s pretty sure that he’s hot shit, but maybe that’s not allowed.

I was watching him fumble his fingers over each other. He was scratching a hole in his own palm.

And all at once there was a phone in my head, and it was ringing just for me. 

“One of your parents has obsessive-compulsive disorder,” I told him. “Maybe both.”

The shimmering grin slipped. “How did you know? How could you know that?” 

I asked him if he was getting treatment for it.

He said, “No, no, I’m over it. How could you know that?”

Because in a foggy way, that phone was still ringing between us, and now, I recognized the number.

I said, “Don’t kill yourself.”

He replied, “No way,” and then he started to cry. 

The shit-eating grin had vanished. He told me how he’d made up his mind that he didn’t want to make it to 35. He’d researched all the ways to make sure he didn’t. Over the next hour, I told him about my OCD, and how I thought his uncertainty over wanting to be successful but also wanting to be humble was a function of his OCD’s spiritual obsession. That he wasn’t over OCD, that you never were, but that his agony didn’t have to be a real thing. He could be both humble and successful. It wasn’t against the rules of goodness to be proud of what you’d done, as long as you were doing things for the right reasons. I told him how once I bought a race car, but I’d given it away to someone who could use the money, because I realized I was only racing to look sexy in a car, and not because it was really making me happy. 

I told him he didn’t have to worry about looking sexy in a Hyundai, though, and he replied that he would look sexy in anything, and then he cried a little more. 

Everyone else in the plane was asleep, but we were wide awake.

When we got off the plane in Virginia, the surgical resident gave me an awkward side-hug, and he wiped his face. Then he dug in his bag for the wrapper from his truffle. As the other travelers shuffled past us sleepily, he pressed it into my hand. He didn’t want to give me his name, he said, but he wanted something for me to remember so that when we ran into each other again in 15 years, I’d know who he was.

After we’d parted ways, I turned my phone off airplane mode, and a text came in that had been sent while I was in the air. It was from the person I’d given the race car to. I hadn’t heard from him in nearly six months. The text said only: thank u maggie i have such a hppy life bc of u

Magic.

You have to be listening closely. Phones are ringing all over the world, and sometimes they look like magical forests, and sometimes they look like race cars, and sometimes they look like surgical residents.

urs,

Stiefvater

SALTY SENTENCE STARTERS.

“ can you believe they posted that status about me? who do they think they are? ”
“ can you believe she/he has the nerve to throw a party and not invite me? ”
“ i don’t care, i’m having a party and only cool people can come. ”
“ um, you’ve been excluded from this conversation, see your way out. ”
“ i don’t have the time to worry about this nonsense. ”
“ it wasn’t to indirect because you caught onto it, so. ”
“ if you’re going to post a status about me, use the @ symbol next time. ”
“ i hate her/him so much, i want to destroy them. ”
“ i will go down in history for ruining them if it’s the last thing i do. ”
“ people get on my nerves so much. this is why i’m antisocial. ”
“ i hate social media sometimes, always ruins my mood. ”
“ i hate logging in to stuff because i get the ultra mega mood drop. ”
“ excuse me? want to run that by me one more time? ”
“ if you got something to say, speak up. ”
“ i’m sorry what was that? can’t hear you when you’re whispering. ”
“ don’t whisper about me when i’m in the room. ”
“ yeah, i’m right here and can hear you. ”
“ please, don’t talk to me. i’m not in the mood today. ”
“ i’m going to either stab someone or break down and cry today. ”
“ i’m so done with this drama. you’re all fake. ”
“ stop making call out posts about me, you have my number and address. ”
“ i can’t believe all this drama always finds me. ”
“ i didn’t post that stupid status! i told you i was hacked! ”
“ omg, please go away already. ”
“ all these flavors and you chose to be salty. ”
“ want some grease to go with all that salt? ”
“ my fries could use some of your salt. ”
“ why buy salt, when i have you? ”
“ if you could stop being so salty, that’d be great. ”
“ the salt is strong with this one. ”
“ oh i’m sorry you’re so salty about it. ”
“ what could you possibly do with all that salt? ”
“ you have enough salt for the both of us. ”
“ you stay salty, my friend. ”
“ forever salty, is what you are. ”
“ you must like your popcorn like you like yourself; salty. ”
“ will you ever not be salty, one could only wish. ”
“ you have more salt than the pacific ocean right now. ”
“ do yourself a favor and go wash all that salt off. ”
“ you’re saltier than most foods i consume. ”
“ when is there a day that you aren’t feeling salty? ”
“ you’re always so salty. ”
“ stop being so salty. ”

so i was thinking how much people seemed to overlook Lance listening to music in season 1 may or may not be because i always do the same and then this popped out. This takes place sometime during season two. (WC: 1208)


Keith lays down in bed, curling himself against Lance’s side, who is putting on Pidge’s headphones. He breathes in, relishing in the scent of pure Lance

They’re in “Lance’s” room, but in all honesty, it’s both of theirs. Their clothes are both here, they both sleep here, they both brush their teeth and shower here. It’s theirs, and that little word change has never made his heart flutter so often.

But there’s only one thing that Keith is really thinking about. The one thing he always thinks about before they go to bed.

“Hey, Lance?” says Keith, wrapping an arm around Lance’s bare waist.

Lance pauses mid-motion. “Yeah?”

“Why do you always wear those in bed?” asks Keith. He lifts his head, resting his chin on Lance’s chest to face him.

Keep reading

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.


A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.


And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.

—  Ira Glass
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie
Day Eighty-Seven

-An elderly man asked for extra bags along with his purchase of thirty-two mega-sized rolls of toilet paper. He has a plan. I intend to find out what it is.

-A baby clutched desperately at the party plates that were placed on top of him, refusing to give them up to his mother as she attempted to pay for them. He had been entrusted with protecting the plates and he was prepared to give it his all.

-After a surely financially-devastating holiday season, children are back to making their own purchases and making my day.

-A child told his mother that the storage bin she had just bought was his now. It took every ounce of my admittedly-lacking self-restraint to not give into my instincts and to reply, “You just got roasted, nerd.” This would have been a devastating burn, but not quite worth unemployment.

-While waiting for an unknown occurrence, a woman picked up the entire stack of store discount card pamphlets, folded them all in half, and set them back down as nonchalantly as someone without a single chalant to give.

-I witnessed a man in scrubs suffer from a severe attack of hiccups that alternated between a dog’s yip and an ambulance’s siren.

-I found that someone had hidden two zoo animal figurines among the candy after deciding against them at the last moment. I checked to see if they were the infamous genital-laden animals of lore. They were not. I understand why they were put back.

When my roommate was Taken and Replaced, there were a lot of things I was prepared for (things like sleeping with iron on, keeping salt under my pillow, constantly being on guard, and never taking food from her), but explaining memes to her was not one.

I was in our room studying, just trying to cram for one of the classes we have an excess of tests in, when Not Vex looked right at me and asked, “Why are so many people talking about the friends we made along the way? It doesn’t even make any sense. Today at lunch, Binks said ‘maybe the real final exam was the friends we made along the way’ while we were studying. It just-it makes no sense.”

It took me longer than was probably polite to answer, because how the hell are you supposed to answer when one of Them asks why a meme exists? I did have to answer eventually, though.

“It’s called a meme. It’s things that start on the internet that people find funny, and they usually don’t make sense, and they start getting used in different ways. The one you were talking about started to make fun of something that’s in a lot of movies, where they search for treasure or a prize or something and don’t find it, and someone says something about the real prize being the friends they made along the way. People love making fun of overdone tropes, so it got really big and now people use it in a lot of ways and some of them make no sense, like the one Binks used,” I told Not Vex, hoping my explanation was enough and I could get back to my studying.

She seemed satisfied, and I thought that was the end of it.

If only I could be so lucky.

Now, anytime there’s a new one, she’ll make it a point to tap me on the shoulder and ask “Is that one of those meme things you told me about?”

Vex was never very quiet, and Not Vex isn’t either. Now everyone knows I am on good enough terms with Them to talk to my Gentry roommate about memes and I have no idea what to do with that kind of power.

[x]

8

make me choose: maisie williams or lena headey (for @lunorhills)

Someone once told me that if you respect a person, listen to their opinion. And if you do not respect someone, then do not listen to their opinion. And that works both ways.

  If there was one thing about Dean Winchester, it was that he was always right. Even when he was wrong, he was somehow right at the same time. Most of the time, he did it to piss her off. Getting a rise out of her was something he enjoyed, especially when she would chase him around the bunker kitchen, trying to attack him with a smile on her face. 

  He argued with her until she was blue in the face some nights. It was usually about the stupidest things too. Old movies. Who saved who on the hunt. Who can drink more. The list went on. Anything he could argue with her about, he did. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed being right and proving her wrong. 

  But the thing is; Dean Winchester was always right.

  Even when he didn’t want to be. 

  When she came home with tears in her eyes one night. He knew yet again he was right. She went on a date, another one with a guy he knew wouldn’t treat her nearly as good as someone like he, would. She smiled weakly, trying to show him that she was a big girl and that she would get over this. Deep inside, Dean knew she was hurting inside. He knew she wanted something more than a one night stand. He knew she was worth more than one night. A girl like her deserved someone to give her everything she ever wanted.

  He wanted to be that guy so bad. But he knew a girl like her would never settle for a bad guy like him. 

  Instead, he got up from his seat at the table. He wasn’t going to fight with her on this one. He knew by the look on her face that she was expecting him to make a comment, rub it in her face. But he didn’t. He wrapped his arms around her, comforting her in the way he knew she needed. She didn’t fight him on it. She just melted into him, pouring her tears into his red flannel shirt. She was so looking forward to this date and it had gone horribly wrong. 

  He placed a kiss to the crown of her head before resting his cheek on her head. He held her tightly until her sobs subsided. She pulled away from him, wiping her eyes. Her make up had been ruined by her tears. He hated every guy who had hurt her even more now. 

  “Why don’t you go change into your pyjamas and you and I will take you on a Dean Winchester date. I’ll make a quick picnic basket, and grab a few blankets and we’ll take off down the open road and I’ll show you what it’s like to go on a proper date with someone who actually cares about who you are instead of what you’ve got underneath your clothes,” he told her. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, her mind reeling over what he just asked her. He could tell she was unsure, but she nodded her head.

  “You don’t have to, Dean. I already had one pity date today, I don’t need another,” she sniffled, looking up at him with her beautiful Y/E/C eyes. 

  “I know I don’t have to. I’m doing it because I want to,” he assured her, taking her small hands in his. “I’m doing this because I should have asked you a long time ago. Instead, you went out with guys who don’t care enough about you to treat you like you deserved to be treated.”

  “And you want to do that?” she questioned.

  “I want to do that,” he stated. “Besides, I know you can’t resist me. I’m never wrong.” She let out a laugh, making Dean smile. He had never been so thankful for a date gone wrong. 

Keep reading

Experiment #2 - Request

Originally requested by @newts-fan-caseSo could you do a Sherlock x Reader were she is riding his face? (Lol I’m a sinner but I ain’t sorry) like for an experiment ‘cause Sherlock thinks a person can’t get aroused just by giving pleasure to someone else, but he is wrong and yeah ;)
& Anon:  Hi! Can I request a smut one shot with Sherlock where he wants to try have the reader sit on his face and eat her out and she’s shy & a bit self conscious with her body and he makes sure he makes her see Stars (with a little fkuff)? Thank you!
Requested by anon:  The “Experiment” was awesome! Can we have a part 2? Pleeeeeaaaaseeee
& a shit load of other people.

This is Sequel Friday first winner.

Pairing: Sherlock x reader.

Word count: 2,886

Warnings: Smut (unprotected), un-edited, secuel (yup, it’s a warning)

A/N: Amazing way to wrap an amazing week. Thank you to everyone who voted!

Enjoy!

|PART 1|

After Sherlock’s little “experiment”, his relationship with (Y/N) turned somewhat odd. They would continue to work together and act professional during the cases, but the tension between them was too much.

He had showed her a side that not a single human thought existed, or at least didn’t want to see. He had been patient with her, loving even, making sure to make her feel comfortable at all costs, complimenting her, being gentle and respecting her limits… Definitely thing a real gentleman does, but not the kind of traits one would expect from Sherlock Holmes.

Then there was also the fact that John was sensing some change of vibes in 221B. Of course, he figured it had something to do with Sherlock’s usual arse behaviour, but it was weird to see (Y/N) affected by it.

Sherlock was sitting on his seat, Watson was on his and (Y/N) was between them on the “victim’s chair”. Watson had a stern, determined look on his eyes and Sherlock was calm as usual, thinking that John was too dumb to have figured anything about him and (Y/N).

“What is going on?” John asked carefully.

Keep reading

The second he picks up Yuri’s call, he knows something is wrong. There’s something about the lack of anger in his voice, and how his breathing wavers whenever he doesn’t speak. Sure, he’s rarely in a good mood, but this feels different and Otabek doesn’t like it.

“Yura,” he begins, and Yuri immediately quiets down. Something’s definitely up. “You don’t sound well. Are you okay?”

Keep reading

Of Beams and Broken Hearts

Summary: You’re a gymnast and your (sort of hot) coach…well let’s just say he hates your guts. All that changes when you make a simple error in your routine. 

Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader

Word Count: 3,667 words

Warnings: Swearing, a bit of angst, fluff at the end

Notes: IT IS VERY SAPPY I KNOW, BUT I WRITE LIKE THAT. THINGS DEVELOP FAST IN THIS STORY, I KNOW THAT TOO. THE AGE DIFFERENCE WOULD BE 2-4 YEARS. I also know nothing about gymnastics, forgive me. 

Based off: An anonymous fluffy friday™ ask on the blog @bucky-plums-barnes 

Originally posted by love-buckybarnes

“Y/N! That was terrible!” A voice hollered from the other side of the gym.

You exhaled deeply, and brushed your hand across your forehead, ridding your skin of the sweat that had accumulated there.

“Do it again!”

You slowly moved to the other side of the mat and poised yourself at the start position. Taking a breath, you began running, before planting your hands onto the ground. You pushed off the mat, turning in a round off. Pressured, you moved into a high back hand spring before propelling yourself into a double back sault. You instantly knew that you underestimated your height as you spun. When you landed, your right foot hit the mat at a different time to your left foot, making you stumble a little. You stabilised yourself quickly, but your coach had already seen it.

“Not good enough, Y/N!” He yelled, walking over, with his hands on his hips firmly.

He was wearing the same outfit he wore almost everyday-red jacket, blue tracksuit, sunglasses and brown hair swooped back slightly. To be perfectly honest, you thought he looked pretty hot in that ensemble, but there was no time to think about that because he was criticising you again, loudly.

Keep reading

BTS Reaction: Their crush (you) getting drunk and accidently confessing your love

@purplepokemons said: 

Bts reaction to their crush getting drunk and conffesing their love the the member thinking they’re talking to someone else


*gifs aren’t mine unless I say so*

*requests are open*


Jin:

“Y/N you really shouldn’t drink that much!” Jin scolded you and tried to take the drink from you. You looked at who you thought was Jimin and started to vent to him.

“I need to drink Jimin, I want to get my mind off of Jin with that other girl he was with earlier. I really like Jin and it hurts to see him with someone else. I’ve falled for Jin, I honestly have-”

“Y/N, come on you should get some sleep.” He would giggle at your drunken confession and lead you to your room so you could rest. Then in the morning he would ask you about it, and end up confessing to you as well.

Originally posted by jjilljj


Suga:

Suga would be a little drunk aswell, but not as drunk as you. You walked up to who you thought was Tae, and just started talking.

“Oh my god, have you seen Yoongi? Oh my gosh he’s so attractive, and I love how laid back he is. It honestly kind of turns me on. I really want to get to know him. He seems really cool.”

“Well you could start by realizing I’m not Taehyung.” He laughed a little. You looked up and realized it was Yoongi.

“Ohmygod” you said fastly.

“I’d like to get to know you to.” He said.

Originally posted by kuromel


Rap Monster:

“Y/N you should really go to bed, it’s really late. And you are extremely wasted.” Namjoon said.

“I don’t want to Yoongi, Namjoon is still here, I want to see him.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows as you said “yoongi” but he decided to play around with the situation.

“Why do you want to see him?”

“Because I really like him, he’s so nice to me and makes me feel happy when  I’m around him. I just wish he felt the same though.”

“Don’t worry, I think he like you too. Come on let’s sleep.” Namjoon said with a smile across his face.

Originally posted by bangthebae


J-Hope:

You were home alone, and completly drunk. Without thinking, you called you best friend-or who you thought was your best friend- and started talking about Hoseok.

“Y/F/N, you have no idea how crazy he makes me, he’s honestly the greatest person in the world. Wow, I really love him-”

“Y/N.”

“Are you sick? Your voice sounds really low?” You asked.

“Look at your contact name.” He laughed. You looked and it said Hoseok’s contact name. You froze as you heard him laugh.

“Ah you’re so cute Y/N!”

Originally posted by hoseokwhy


Jimin:

“Jin! Hi!” You said as you facetimes “Jin”. Jimin looked at you in confusion.

“Are you ok Y/N? You looked a little, you know, drunk.” Jimin said.

“Yeah Jin, I’m fine. Is Jimin around?” You asked. Jimin finally realized you thought he was Jin, but he was curious about what you had to say about him. So Jimin continued to be “Jin”.

“No, he’s not here right now.” He smirked.

“Good, do you know how Jimin feels about me? I really like him, but I want to know he feels the same before I tell him.

“He really likes you Y/N, he never shuts up about you.” Jimin laughed. “You’re talking to Jimin by the way.”

Originally posted by yoonmin


V:

It was your 20th birthday, so you could now legally drink in Korea. Taehyung took you to a bar along with some of yours and his friends.  You might have went a little overboard with the drinking and got completly wasted. You were sitting alone, and someone sat next to you.

“You look like someone I know.” You said while looking at him. He look at you with a puzzled expression.

“He’s someone I really love, he knows how to make me happy, and he’s just so perfect. I wish he felt the same.” You started to talk about him. 

“What’s his name?” Taehyung asked, with a bit of jealousy.

“Kim Taehyung.”  You smiled and sipped on your drink. He smiled and laughed a little.

“You really are drunk, Y/N I am Taehyung.”

Originally posted by bangtannoonas


Jungkook:

Jungkook told you he was going to be home late from practice today, so you invited your best friend over. Little did you know, she brought achohol and you couldn’t turn down the opportunity. 

A few hours later you both were wasted, and Y/F/N was in the bathroom probably throwing up. You heard footsteps, and you automatically assumed it was Y/F/N.

“I should have never drank that! If Jungkook finds out I drank underage, he’ll never love me back!” You cried.

“You love me?” You heard Jungkook’s voice.

“Oh my gosh, Kookie forgive me!” You ran to him and hugged. He hugged you back and patted the back you your head.

“Don’t worry, I’m not mad. But I do love you back.” He smiled.

Originally posted by donewithjeon


I hope you liked it! I tried my best :) Requests are open!

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.
—  Ira Glass

a few things i noticed from the vlive

  • all of the low murmered talking to each other picked up on the mic
  • the members looking at themselves in the mirror behind the camera
  • jungkook and tae laughing about writing spanking punishments
  • jin and jungkook arguing and jin yelling that he told his team they should’ve put begin on their board when the other team called it
  • when maknae line won and got the acrylic suga stands jimin deciding he was getting one, making jk and tae rock paper scissors for the other 
  • junkook spinning the board after winning
  • the constant beautiful sope
  • everyone but jimin got up to take the pictures and he sat there until someone called him over to the side
  • jimin saying he’s surprised how many pictures of namjoon there are on the phone they used to take the pictures
  • jm just giggling the whole time in general
  • hobi cleaning namjoon’s ear w the qtip
  • hobi saying he really wanted the acrylic suga stand prize
  • yoongi making up twister rules and jungkook continuously calling him out
  • namjoon: “jimin i wonder how bad you would be at this game [twister]”
  • Winner™ jk happy he collected all the photo cards first
  • yoongi flawlessly bullshitting that the rock paper scissors game was to decide who picks the punishment and not who gets the punishment after losing it
  • yoongi marking the punishment paper from his team so he could tell it and avoid it but accidentally drew it anyway
  • jin writing the kiss namjoon punishment, saying he didn’t think of having to get it himself, suggesting that only one person should take the punishment, asking namjoon if he wanted all of them to kiss him or just one, and doing The Most™ as with getting the punishment on the vlive before the wings album
  • exasperated namjoon asking if they could do the kiss later off screen then changing it to him getting a kiss instead of giving it
  • yoongi clapping off beat at the end bless