i got the fear

Supernatural School Pt. 2

Part 1 (X)


It always takes time to sort yourself out after a reaping, even a relatively pleasant one. That’s why, even though you’d like to rejoin Sam, Amanda and Lexi in the cafeteria, you head back to the dorms.

You don’t feel any different after. Some legends say that you eat the souls of the dead, praying on them for sustenance. You’d like to say that Reapers never do that, that they never commit such a heinous crime, but you’ve been around long enough to know better than to lie. There are words for Reapers who eat, none of which you’d dare say here. Names give things power and eaters get more than their fair share to begin with.

You shiver under the blazing sun and try to turn your mind to more pleasant topics.

You are halfway back to your room, when you see Ms. Jan, Mr. T and Principal Finn rushing towards the animal husbandry building. Mr. T’s upset enough that his mane has burst free of his button-down shirt though he’s the only one of the three so affected. Ms. Jan, all banshee characteristics gone, is composed as she leads the group, strides long and purposeful. Principal Finn is listening to her seriously, his wheelchair rolling over the grass easily, with a grim expression on his face.

This is, of course, until he sees you.

You keep your expression blank as Principal Finn says something to Ms. Jan and Mr. T, gesturing for them to go on, and then directs his motorized wheelchair towards you.

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A follow up...

I’ve seen a lot of talk after the video I did today and I’m trying to get an overall picture as much as I can. Some people agree with my video, some really don’t and some agree with half of it. No one is wrong and I definitely appreciate the variety of opinions because as I said, I’m not right and I am open to discuss it further.

My main regret for this video was focusing too much on what Felix did and whether I agreed with it or not instead of elaborating on the media side of it all. I did this initially because I wanted to avoid the “youtubers vs the mainstream media” narrative that’s been going around but I can see now that that wasn’t a good idea. It made it seem like I was defending them more than Felix and I was throwing him under the bus. Absolutely not my intention. I think because I’m close friends with Felix that I thought I could criticise him a bit more and explain it to him if he disagreed but to the outside viewer this isn’t apparent and looks like I just blasted him instead in front of a lot of people. 

I do think there were some unethical practices at play with the media, a lot of misquoting and misrepresentation and then other articles taking that and doing their spin on it which muddied the waters more. As I said in my video, it got very messy. Also yeah, it’s a little strange that WSJ would focus on a youtuber making jokes (good or bad) rather than bigger real issues, as Felix put it “I expect it from The Sun maybe but not Wall Street Journal”. 

When I said “WSJ weren’t wrong to run the story” I meant that technically it’s in their rights to do whatever they want. I don’t have to agree with it however and some parts of it did feel a little overly critical of everything while other sections flat out lied about him. Some articles literally called him “Racist” which I mentioned I knew wasn’t true. 

I felt like most of this had been said by everyone else and better, so I made it a shorter talking point in my video which now I see wasn’t a good idea. It paints a picture that isn’t true. I think fear of backlash got to me a bit and I’m inexperienced tackling such large issues so I didn’t get specific. There’s no one right answer to everything but I’m not arrogant or stubborn enough to not listen to others on this and discuss it or even admit when I’m wrong. 

I still stand with Felix as my friend, in fact now more than ever because he needs it. I’ve been in contact with Felix privately over all of this and have shown support since the very beginning. The insane endless attacks on him and witch hunt are out of control and going too far. We all make mistakes and should be given an opportunity to learn from them. 

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Ay look at me reading to far into a book again. Either @vaveyard is a genius putting little hopeful messages into her books first two words or she’s still a genius and I’m reading too far into this at 1am. Anyway the point of this post: these are the first pages of Red Queen, Glass Sword, and King’s Cage respectively. The first two words of RQ are “I hate”, and a powerful message through tall these books is the prejudice and privilege of the Silvers over Reds, who hate each other. Sound familiar?
The next is the first two words of GS “I flinch”, as in fear. There is fear on both sides of this book, Reds of how the Silvers may oppress or hurt them, the Silvers on how the Reds may fight back and change tradition that gives them severe advantages. Again, sound familiar? These are all too similar to modern times, and well…everything that is going on, from police brutality to “alternative facts” which all add to issues like racism, sexism, anti Semitism, homophobia, xenophobia, islamophobia, etc., and Ms. Aveyard has done a great job showing these same issues in a totally different world, and the fear and hate that create and add to them. Which is why I probably read too much into this and the beginning of KC.
Because the first two words of KC are “I rise”, which is what we all need to do now. Whether through speaking up and calling local politicians, or going to the woman’s March, pride marches, BLM marches, the science March, anything that shows we won’t give in and that we will continue to fight and have our voices heard. So if this was intentional, I applaud you Ms. Aveyard, and if it wasn’t I don’t care, because this was a message I needed for myself right now, and I’m sure many others do to. So listen to this, random tumblr, and instead of giving in to fear and hate, rise up. Rise up! You don’t need to be the Scarlet Guard or Mare Barrow, every rebellion and cause needs Kilorns and supporters who are not always spotlighted. You are important to these causes too. You are what drives them forward and makes them noticeable. Keep fighting!

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

  • parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
  • parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
  • parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
  • parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
  • parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
  • parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
  • parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
  • parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
  • parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
  • parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
  • parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
  • parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
  • parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat 
  • parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
  • parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
  • parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

  • parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
  • parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
  • parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
  • parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
  • parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
  • parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
  • parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
  • parent shamed me for my physical appearance
  • parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
  • parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
  • parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
  • parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
  • parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
  • parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
  • parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
  • parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
  • parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
  • parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
  • parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
  • parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
  • parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
  • parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
  • parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
  • parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
  • parent assured me that nobody will ever want me 
  • parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
  • parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
  • parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
  • parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
  • parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
  • parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
  • parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
  • parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

  • parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
  • parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
  • parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
  • parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
  • parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
  • parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it 
  • parent threatened to leave me
  • parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
  • parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
  • parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
  • parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
  • parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
  • parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

  • parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
  • parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
  • parent didn’t notice I was injured
  • parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
  • parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma 
  • parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
  • parent didn’t notice I was depressed
  • parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
  • parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
  • parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
  • parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
  • parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
  • parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
  • parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
  • when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

  • parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
  • parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
  • parent only gave me minimal money to survive 
  • parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
  • parent took the money I earned from me
  • parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
  • parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
  • parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
  • parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
  • parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
  • parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
  • parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
  • parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

The fact that Luna is a Ravenclaw and Hermione is a Gryffindor is super important to me.

Like Hermione could easily have been a Ravenclaw if we just went by her passion for knowing things. But simply knowing things isn’t all intelligence is. Intelligence doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how “book smart” someone is. You have to be willing to look outside the box and use what you know in a useful way. That’s the creative, wise, open-minded aspect of Ravenclaw that seems to get overlooked.

And the one thing that I think got in Hermione’s way was her fear of failure. A fear of being wrong. And being wrong is part of the learning experience and it’s not something that I feel a Ravenclaw would be afraid of but instead they’d expect it and welcome whatever revelations came from it. A Gryffindor can’t afford to be wrong because if they are going to do something brave and daring then failure could have terrible consequences.

Luna on the other hand is someone who might not be very good academically at all. We don’t know for sure. But her way of looking at the world is so unique and seemingly impossible. She’s creative and open to new ideas and accepting of other people’s differences which is the ideal attitude to have for learning. When she answered the question to get into Ravenclaw tower, the knocker did not say she was right or wrong, rather it said “well reasoned” which suggests that maybe there doesn’t have to be one definite correct answer because HOW she came to her conclusion is what mattered. How often do you think her professors gave her correct marks on essays and things because she wasn’t “technically” wrong? How would they have made it to the Department of Mysteries in OOTP if she hadn’t suggested they fly on Thestrals when half of the group couldn’t even see them? Her ability to see what others couldn’t is how they solved that particular problem and that’s part of what Ravenclaw is all about.

Ravenclaws don’t necessarily do something simply because it’s logical, but they use logic to do something better than everyone else. That’s the difference between Hermione and Luna to me.

sorakhhikari98  asked:

Y'konw the only thing that I Don't like a lot in lance it's how small his pupils are! Like c'mon give some justice to my boy lance! I want to get a better view on his blue eyes! (BTW hello again!)

Friend, fear not, I’ve got you covered - I present to you, Lance’s eyes:

blue boy 💙

gold and silver ⋅ part 1

medieval + fantasy au (based on game of thrones)

◇ pairing: hoseok | reader
◇ genres: drama, light angst and romance 
◇ word count: 12.308
warnings: future depictions of violence, implied sexual content
author’s note: you can easily read this story without having any game of thrones’ knowledge. I mostly took the main settings of the tv show, but other than that, you can just consider this a medieval au. please enjoy! :)

⇢ chapters: one | two (ending)


You meet Jung Hoseok on a searing afternoon, round sun high in the sky and clouds as bright and golden as the weightless tunic that reaches down your legs.

You try not to show an obvious discontent when you hear the familiar, metallic sound of steel armor coming closer, a sigh getting stuck in your throat as you realize your days of hiding have finally come to an end. The residence of the king, otherwise known as the Red Keep, is large enough to get lost easily if you do not memorize the steps you leave behind, which sounded more exciting than it should have when you first arrived to the city one week ago, completely by yourself and miles away from family and friends.

You rapidly found concealed spots where curious eyes would not burn on your skin, and a particular favorite was located deep inside the Godswood of the castle — greenish, colorful gardens that extended towards the stunning sights of the Blackwater Rush, one of the major rivers of the country.

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I don’t think Nico and Will got together because they were opposites. 

I don’t think they got together because Will was a happy sunray and Nico was this dark hurting kid. 

I think they got together because Will was the only person who talked to Nico without fear. 

I think they got together because even though he’s not a fighter, Will knew how to fight for what’s right, and for what he wants. 

I think they got together because Will was the first to call Nico out on his bullshit. 

I think they got together because they both understand death. They’ve both lost people. They’ve both experienced the trauma of war. 

I think they got together because they both knew depression and what it could do. 

I think they got together because they were both hardened by wars that weren’t meant to be theirs to fight, because they both understood loss, because they both understood what it was to try your best and fail. By which I mean, Nico had always tried so hard to fir in and couldn’t because of his powers. Will must have tried so hard to save people in the wars and failed, unable to save all of them. 

Nico comforts Will because death is inevitable. Will comforts Nico because he shows him he isn’t alone. 

These two aren’t together because they’re different, but because they’re the same. 

Everyone paints Will to be this happy, jokey, super-safe doctor, but my gods, did we read the same books? Did you see how feisty he is? How reckless he can be? How he lets Nico push his boundaries, and is only there to stop him from going too far? This boy reattaches limbs, and he can get entire armies to stop fighting and listen just by whistling. 

No, Will Solace is not this happy-go-lucky sunshine boy. He puts on a happy front, but you think that doesn’t go away? You think Nico doesn’t find himself comforting Will as much as Will comforts him? You think Will Solace doesn’t break down over the death of people he cares about, people he couldn’t save? You think this pain, this understanding of the shitty life they have to live isn’t what made them compatible? 

Nico shows it more, but Will is hurt too. And that’s why they’re so good for each other. 

Painting is just an endless cycle of “I don’t know where I’m going” and “how the fuck did I end up here?”.