i got text posts and they dont tell me shit

i was talking to my friend the other day about pottermore and i was like “yeah i got slytherin at first but that pissed me off so i made fake accounts and took the test over and over again to try and get ravenclaw, and eventually i looked up the answers to get ravenclaw and then i did” and he just looked at me and said “that’s fucking why you got slytherin”

if you can’t think i’m a cool person outside the lens of fandom and you can’t be bothered to talk to me because i don’t care about anime or fucking dragons or something then you’re not a very good friend and it makes me sad that i put so much of my faith and time and interest in you when obviously that didn’t matter anyway 

Part 5

Okay so this all happened in a span of 10 days so i guess i can clump it all up into one part but it is events tying back to my childhood. This is when i am already 24 years old late last year, i am guessing around August. I dont sleep alot i usually clock in around two or three hours a night , it has been like this for almost 7 years now. I got a full nights sleep for the first time since then a week ago with a person i mentioned in my first post. You guys or well whoever reads this shit have no idea how much of a relief that is. So this night i didnt sleep at all so after i had my morning coffee i went to tutor for 3 hours straight after which i got a text on facebook of all places (i dont use it) from well my sister, who i never knew i had and she tells me she has a sister too she was 21 and her sister is 12. Which if you can count since last time i saw my father who i knew had a boy son when i was 6 was a little more active than i thought. She tells me things like “he always spoke good about you” This was a big blow when i thought i was recovering, having lost weight (From 137 to 86kg in 9 months) and finally feeling managable. So all of this was in my head untill one friday night where i decided to go to a pub with friends. We had a couple of beers and then i felt weird, there was a sense of dread in me i felt uneasy. So i went home which is really a couple of steps from where we were. When i got to my street i began seeing drips of blood. They led all the way up to my building entrance, i took the stairs up and when i saw them stop at my door i quickly got in and ran to my room to find my brother sitting in his chair with both his wrists slit open. I grabbed one hand that seemed to be pouring more blood and called the ambulance after which i held both his wrists as tight as i could. When they took him away i couldnt do anything i sat there frozen. Imaginig what would happen if the only person who has been in my life for better or worse would be gone. The only vague stability i had was him. He lived. The next sunday i got a text from lets say for the sake of the story Lucas, so Lucas texts me he has decided to kill himself tonight. Because he feels worthless and adds nothing to this world. After talking to him for over two hours trying to convince him that he is loved and that he shouldnt give up on the good things that will come his way. He stopped texting, so i got out and rushed to his house on the other side of the city to inform his family that this is happening hoping they have his dorm number to get someone to send him.help. After holding his crying mom in my arms and seeig his also sobbing sister we finally got through. Some guys broke down his door and found him in the shower with a bottle and a pocket knife. I was a hypocrite telling him all those things having attempted suicide too about 5 years prior.

“Your value does not decrease because of others inability to see your worth”

the signs as out of context quotes from the group chat im in

aries: i just misread my bioshock poster as “no gods or kings, only anal”

taurus: I am a very insecure man

gemini: how much sin? like [spreads arms] thiiiiiis much sin? 

cancer: i have consumed so much gingerale in the past few days. is this safe. am i gonna die

leo: The only thing that’s ending is the pitiful ghost of somethin ivysaur never was. It could never be a true champion and never will. 

virgo: im not going to be in a chat called gooch

libra: say goodbye to the succ


sagittarius: [muffled sounds from bottom of meme dumpster]

capricorn:  i cant believe i didnt come online to a long string of memes

aquarius: I saw a shirt that had a lobster on it and said “when you’re finished sucking the head, bite me”

pisces: Do I Look Gay

occasionally i look at john green and think “okay, that’s bad, but i used to be really socially awkward too”. then i remember that the frame of reference i’m using is “when i was fourteen”, and that i’m not a massively famous author with the potential to do incredible amounts of good from my platform who is instead self promoting like a champ

most common zodiac phrases
  • aries:honey, you've got a big storm coming.
  • taurus:time heals all wounds
  • gemini:can i ask you kind of a weird question
  • cancer:i am the queen of the universe. the waves part. they engulf me and the water is warm.
  • leo:believe me, women notice
  • virgo:i don't need friends, they disappoint me
  • libra:i feel like a deer in the headlights of love
  • scorpio:i can't stand when she touches me
  • sagitarius:i can see the statue of liberty from here
  • capricorn:you could stop at five or six stores, or just one
  • aquarius:[wordless shuffling]
  • pisces:some say the ducks went to canada; others say they went to toronto