i got such a laugh out of this

i played butterfly soup today and i enjoyed everything about it!!! i laughed a whole lot and felt really good (and gay) throughout the story. 10/10 would recommend

anonymous asked:

okay but dave absolutely insists he was right because "see rose im not gay im bi you were completely off track" and she's just "Sure, Dave. You got me there."

she just Looks at him until he starts sweating and meekly shuffles out

she makes him a sweater for christmas with “actually I’m bisexual” emblazoned on it. dave laughs nervously, but roxy laughs genuinely so hard she cries. she demands one of her own. they will match, by god

Christmas Kisses

here’s that malec pic I said I would write. I know it’s not Harry Potter but it was nice to write about a different set of characters for once


“What are you wearing to Magnus’s Christmas party tonight?” Izzy asked her big brother Alec. He shrugged and gestured to the clothes he already had on. She laughed, shaking her head. “Oh no, big brother, don’t tell me you’re wearing that?”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Alec crossed his arms, defensively.

“You’re going to one of Magnus’s parties. You can’t go in you’re training clothes. At least put on a button up. How about that dark blue one I got you? I’m sure Magnus would appreciate it.”

“And why should I care if Magnus would appreciate it or not?” He asked, nevertheless taking out the shirt his sister suggested he wear. Izzy smirked and stood up to leave. She knew her brother better than anyone. Maybe better than Alec knew himself. She also happened to know that Magnus was planning another attempt to try and win the Shadowhunter’s heart. After many failed tries, Izzy was sure this one would work.

After helping Clary pick out an outfit, they all left for Magnus’s apartment. Izzy made sure that Alec was standing closest to the door after she knocked, giving him no time to try and hide behind the group.

“Alexander.” The Warlock greeted, already holding a cocktail in his hand. It looked like they were early, seeing as there were only a couple of people milling around behind him. “It wonderful to see you.”

Alec’s breath caught, making Izzy smile slyly. “It’s, um, it’s good to see you too.” Magnus stepped aside, letting them enter, but catching Alec’s arm before he could get lost in the apartment.

“Why don’t I get you a drink?” He asked and snapped his fingers, making a drink appear in his hands, before the boy could even give an answer. “It’s a wine made in one of the finest wineries in all of Italy. I actually know the man who first founded it. Might I add that he was a fantastic kisser after a few drinks. Though I’m sure you’ll do better than him, almost everyone does.” Alec blushed as Magnus smirked at him.

“Umm, th- thank you?” He said, eyeing his drink and taking a sip. Just then, someone knocked on the door. More people entered, though one girl stayed behind.

“Magnus, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” She stated, smiling at Alec.

“Oh um- no. No no we’re not-” The shadowhunter started babbling.

Magnus held a hand up to make him stop talking and corrected her himself. “We’re not together… yet.” He winked at Alec before letting the woman in.

“Look, Magnus, I- I can’t. I have to uphold the family name and this, us, it- it wouldn’t work.” He said.

“I understand, Alexander. However, is the Lightwood reputation really that important that it’s worth sacrificing your happiness for it?” Alec sighed, drinking more of his wine. “I’m sure your sister would be happy to see you finally following your heart. As would Jace.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Alec tried to fight off his heart beating out of his chest. Just then, mistletoe sprouted from the ceiling above the two men.

“Looks like the mistletoe would beg to differ.”

“What do you mean?”

“I charmed the mistletoe to only appear over two people who have feelings for each other.” Magnus smiled softly and took a sip of his drink.

Alec shook his head. “Maybe I do feel something for you, but I can’t do anything about it. My family-”

“Would be glad to know that you are finally happy.” Magnus finished his sentence.

“I’m sorry, Magnus.” He said before walking away. The Warlock stood there for a minute and put on a brave face so he could rejoin the party. 

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français // Jack (pt 2)

part one <3

(1,168 words)

a/n: hey everyone! i’m terribly sorry for cranking this out so late but i got to writing and i finished! although it’s quite choppy and it has a strange ending, i finished! this is noT my best work, whatsoever, but i hope you will at least enjoy this a teensie bit (:

ps ~ lol #jachary is real k bye 


“Hot dog or hamburger?” Jonah asks me.

“Eh?” I shake my daydreams away, “Oh, hot dog, please.”

He grabs tongs and gets a weanie from the grill. Corbyn passes by and smiles slyly, “Looks like you’re putting that sausage between those buns, huh?”

I burst out laughing at Corb’s dirty joke and fall to the floor, howling, “PPPFFFFFTTTTT,”

Jonah rolls his eyes and pushes Corbyn away with his forearm, “What are you, an 8th grader?”

Corbyn smirks, “Mayyyyyybe,”

“Get out of here unless you’re gonna help.” Jonah plates the hot dog and gives it to me. Corbyn shrugs and sits down on a stool, starting up a conversation with Jonah.

As I walk away, I look for Jack, wanting to sit down by him. I expect to find him sitting by himself, scrolling through his phone as he eats his food but instead I see him and Zach sitting in the grass, Jack’s head against Zach as they talk about something. I walk around them from a distance so they wouldn’t see me and I sit down on a rock under the shade. I vaguely hear them talk about dogs and Selena Gomez. I laugh, listening to their dumb conversation.

“Whatcha doing?” I hear a voice behind me and I jump about 3 feet into the air. I turn to see a toothy grin on Dani’s face.

“You scared me, Seavey!” I scold him as he chuckles, sitting down beside me.

“But really, what are you doing?” He asks again.

I bite my lip, “Nothing, nothing. Just eating, you know how it is.”

Daniel smiles and nods. I pull the Coca-Cola, that I had grabbed when Jonah was serving me food, to my lips and take a swig.

“You were watching Jack and Zach, weren’t you?”

I almost spit out my soda, “W-what?”

“You haven’t touched your hot dog.”

“I was about to,”

“You bite your lip when you lie.”

“I don’t.”

“You’re doing it right now,” He points out.

I roll my eyes and realize he’s right.

“(y/n), do you like Zach?”

I shake my head rapidly.

“Do you like Jack?”

I hesitate and realize that hesitating means yes, and Dani knows that. I shake my head even faster, not saying a single word.

“(y/n),”

“No.”

“(y/n),”

I look down.

“Let me ask you again: do you like Jack?”

I don’t say anything.

“Hm?”

I nod slowly.

“Does he know?”

I don’t do anything.

“(y/n), does he?”

I look at him. He scans my face, reading my eyes the way Zach had.

“He… he does, doesn’t he?”

I nod again.

“(y/n)…”

“I don’t know how to break it to the boys.”

“Wait… you’re d…da…”

I bite my lip.

His blue eyes widen with realization, “Oh.”

“Mhm.” I mutter.

“Oh. Oh.” He says, “Do you want me to tell them?”

“NO! No, no! Don’t, please.” I say a bit too loud. Jack lifts his head from Zach’s bare shoulder and looks over to me. I wince in disappointment at myself. Jack stands up and walks to us.

“What’s going on?” Jack asks.

I look up at him with an expression that only he can read. Jack’s eyes widen, “Really?”

I nod. He brings his fingers up to his temple and rubs, “Crap.”

“Does Zach know?” Daniel asks.

“Know what?” Zach appears with a mouthful of food and his phone in his hand.

Daniel and I stand up instantly, “Nothing.”

Zach’s eyebrows knit together, “What do you mean nothing?”

“It doesn’t concern you, Zach,” Jack says.

RUDE,” Zach frowns, “Just because I’m a few years younger than you guys doesn’t mean you can ex-”

“ZACH!” We all yell.

“WHAT!” He yells back.

Ne lui dit pas [Don’t tell him],” I say to Jack.

Pourquoi devrais-je lui parler de notre relation secrète, (y/n)? Ce serait idiot. [Why would I tell him about our secret relationship, (y/n)? That’d be idiotic]” He retorts.

“It’s idiotic to let me have my phone out and translate what you’re saying while you speak French to your girlfriend, Jack!” Zach cries, “Thanks a lot, baby!”

Before Jack can protest, Zach grabs his face and brings him to his lips. Zach presses a kiss to Jack’s forehead and pushes Jack away, “THAT’S ALL I NEEDED TO DO!”

“Zach, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you,” He says.

He stops. He places his phone on the ground and takes a deep breath.

“Let me take a second to process this: my best friend has a girlfriend that he didn’t tell me about,” Zach closes his eyes and starts screaming, “JACK AVERY’S GIRLFRIEND IS (y/n) (y/l/n), EVERYONE!”

“ZACH!”

“What? I don’t keep things from other people like some people! Corbyn and Jonah deserve to know!” Zach turns away and starts to walk to the boys but Jack stops him.

“Zach, wait,” Jack turns Zach around and slams a kiss to his forehead, “You will always be my brother, Zach. (y/n) can’t get in the way of that.”

I watch Zach’s expression melt from anger to confusion then to neutral. Zach wraps his arms around Jack and hugs him tightly, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Jack smiles.

“But I’m still telling Corbyn and Jonah,” He says, eyebrow raised.

Jack sighs, “Well, go ahead.”

“I love you, bro.” Zach says, grinning.

“Love you too.”

His arm is wrapped around my shoulder throughout the entire conversation. Well, it was more answering questions that the boys had about him and I.

“How long have you two been keeping this relationship a secret?”

“About two mont-”

“Where did you learn French?”

“This one app and we pra-”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“We were hoping that we’d be ab-”

“Do you think we’d judge you two?”

“No, we were just hoping for some priv-”

“Well we don’t! We love you two!”

“We know and we l-”

“You kno-”

Jack gets annoyed and yells at Jonah, “LET ME FINISH”

Jonah rolls his eyes, “FIIIINE! SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY”

Jack looks over to me and smiles. He presses his lips to mine in front of the boys. When he pulls away, I look over to them and they all wear faces of disgust. I laugh and fling my leg onto Jack’s lap and hug him, planting kisses all over his jaw and cheeks.

“EW STOP” Zach pretends to gag.

“You’re just jealous you aren’t the one being kissed, Zach,” Daniel giggles.

Zach’s cheeks turn a brighter red and all our jaws drop, “Zach wants a girlfriend!”

“Do not!” He replies quickly.

“Don’t worry, Zachiepoo! We’ll get you a girlfriend,” I smile and wink. He frowns, “Y’all are pretty fu-”

“Get Zach’s phone! We’re gonna make this boy a Tinder!”

Corbyn grabs Zach’s phone from his lap and throws it at Jack and I. Jack unlocks it and looks through the app store for the dating app, “Don’t worry, bud. You’ll have a girlfriend in no time.”

We all laugh as Jack stands up and runs away from Zach, who’s trying to get his phone back.

At least they were focused on getting Zach a girlfriend that they didn’t care about mine and Jack’s relationship…right?

Had A Date Last Night

Sheldon, did they have Devil’s Night where you grew up?
No. Well, we did but we called it Mischief Night. Why?
Did you go out and do mischief?
No, I was a good kid. How about you?
Yes, but I went home before things got wild.
Wild?( I laughed) What do you mean wild?
Well, some of my girlfriends burned down a house. 

Upon further review, I guess that does qualify as wild. 

Go Back Couple Ending

The last episode was SO SO satisfying like

- Jae Woo and Bo Reum got MARRIED

- Ye Rim found herself a man that she deserves and that loves her

- Jin Joo’s dad doesnt have to be as lonely anymore

- Nam Gil has a beautiful baby boy (and hopefully a loving wife that he deserves!!)

- The divine beings fighting was so funny, I hope they worked things out lmao

- Sul remained friends with Jin Joo

- Ban Do and Jin Joo laughing over the call about their divorce

And of course Ban Do and Jin Joo getting to see their baby boy again!!!

I do wish we could’ve seen what happened to Go Dok Jae. He was my favorite haha

Odd Navy sayings: Not safe for first dates

I realized I’ve picked up some phrases that I never paid attention to before, especially since enlisting. One of the most notable of them is the phrase that gets most mechanics through Power School and life in general:

Shit’ll buff

Born from literal buffing that will remove superficial scratches, Shit’ll Buff means whatever mildly bad thing that just happened to you ain’t really so bad. It’s pretty essential for a mechanic in the Navy because things change so quickly and it seems like every organizational decision was specifically made to inconvenience you. The “Shit’ll buff” mentality gets taught early in our rate.

So yesterday, my date dropped her fork during breakfast and got all embarrassed. Of course I grab another napkin and fork for her, and without thinking, “Shit’ll buff” came right out as I handed them to her. For the rest of the morning she would not stop laughing about that phrase. At least she thought it was cute, not crude.

Just a little more

I was supposed to put a comic yesterday but my schedule got a little off after the laptop incident, but i am making progress on it and will be up in the next 2 or 3 days. To get you hyped here is a little sketch of it:


Btw it is not related to the “Not Again.” comic. I hope you laugh a little when this is out. cheers <3

The ending theme is substantially more upbeat now, too. Interesting.

Gemcation was a nice time. It was a good character-focused episode with a few hints of foreshadowing, although I will say that Garnet felt off for most of it. The dramatic buildup to Ronaldo’s last text genuinely made me bust out laughing. This one was perfectly decent. I’d give it a 7/10. I’m interested to see where this Connie arc is going too, I’d really rather not have it be a case of “she got kidnapped by aliens again which is why she can’t answer her phone”.

veryspecificfantasies  asked:

my favorite horrible id fic is always abt BABIES. tommyjon somehow have to take care of two baby favreaus for a weekend!!!! tommy sings lullabies and lovett gets all messy with them doing fingerprinting!!!! Both of them wanna jump each other's bones but are too freaked out!!! tommy wants a FAMILY of Lovett n a kid n pundit!! lovett hooked up w tommy once and then promptly pulled away and ruined it to protect himself but now all these horrible feelings are coming back!!!! U KNO.

this is uh VERY late but I just remembered I wrote this one lunch break and HERE YOU GO: A BABY.

/

“Why did they ever let you learn to crawl,” Lovett mutters, crawling too, hands and knees after Daisy. She’s got Favs’ gleeful laugh and a head of fuzzy blonde hair and is frankly incredibly spoiled. Lovett points this out daily and Favs insists on saying ridiculous things like “stop buying her things then” or “this is on you, Lovett”. Please. Lovett knows at whom the roving accusation finger points and it is pretty much always Jonathan “soft touch” Favreau.

Ahead of him, Daisy squeals happily, locates one of Jon’s sneakers lost half under his couch, and yanks it out. She’s about to start chomping on it when Jon swoops it away.

“Shoes are not for mouths,” Lovett says, thinking wildly about all the statistics he’s read in secret about germs and how many times vulnerable babies put their dirty sticky fingers in their little mouths. “Don’t listen to Leo. Apart from when he eats Tommy’s shoes, that one’s solid.”

Daisy can’t understand him, obviously, but her face crumples. Jesus, how do Favs and Emily do this all the time? Lovett’s done one thing that’s made her cry and now he feels like he should be branded or something. Jon Lovett: Worst With Children.

“Don’t cry,” he says, “hey, hey, Daisy boo,” and sweeps her up into his arms. She fusses a bit, but settles when she gets her damp fist in his hair, pulling tight. “You know what,” Lovett says, “I respect that, you’re going for what you want. I’m going to be bald by the time you’re two but whatever. You do you.”

Tommy laughs from the doorway and Lovett jerks his head up.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” he says.

Tommy shrugs. “You were busy.” He looks infuriatingly good like that, hip cocked against the doorframe even as his posture stays stupidly correct. Lovett has no illusions about what he looks like generally - fine, it’s fine - but hour three of babysitting with dust on his knees is probably not his finest moment.

Tommy’s looking at him weird though, the sort of soft crinkly eyed way he gets sometimes.

“What?” Lovett demands, shifting Daisy in his arms. “What are you staring at? Have I got something on my face? What?”

“Nothing,” Tommy says. He’s pinking up. “Did you know you’ve got baby food on your t-shirt?”

“Tommy,” Lovett says, wincing as Daisy’s determined grip tightens in his hair. “There is baby food everywhere. I’ve lost the kitchen. The baby owns it now; she’s covered it with blended carrots or whatever the fuck Emily left with us. What? Oh don’t look at me like that, she doesn’t know what we’re saying.”

“She might,” says Tommy, who has been doing his level best to watch his mouth around Daisy, with middling to hilarious results. “You don’t know. She’s very smart.”

Dr. Hunt

“i know it hurts, i’m sorry”

“OW!” Amelia’s screams echoed throughout the house. “What the hell?” Owen mumbled to himself as he got up from the couch and ran to where the noises were coming from. 

When he got to their bedroom, he instantly looked around for blood or any other evidence of an injury. “Amelia,” he said, out of breath, “What the hell did you do?”

Amelia was sat on the bed, her foot in her hand, rocking back and forth. “I stubbed my fucki-,” she began. “Okay, okay,” Owen laughed, cutting her off. “It’s not funny,” Amelia retorted. 

“You’re so right. I’m sorry. Let me see it,” he said as he kneeled in front of her.

Amelia let go of her foot and Owen immediately went into medical mode. “Two of your toes are bruising,” he said, “I’ll wrap some medical tape around them and you’ll be as good as new.”

Amelia rolled her eyes, hating how much fun he was getting out of this. Owen returned only seconds later with a roll of medical tape in his hand and his phone in the other. “What are you doing?” She asked, nodding to his phone in confusion. 

“I’m sorry, I just have to take a picture of this. It’s legendary. Amelia Shepherd, world famous Neurosurgeon, tears in her eyes because of a stubbed toe,” he laughed. “Owen Hunt, state famous trauma surgeon, taping up two stubbed toes. Legendary,” she replied, giving a snarky smile.

“Fair enough,” he said. 

Owen knelt down in front of her once again and began wrapping the tape around her toes. “Ow,” Amelia winced. “I know it hurts, I’m sorry,” he said.

Once he finished, he proudly stood up. “Thank you, Dr. Hunt,” Amelia said.

“My pleasure. Would you like some crutches? Or a wheel chair?” He chuckled. “You’re so annoying,” Amelia snickered as a wide smile slowly spread across her face.

halethestilinskis  asked:

Oh my god, I’m from Boston and when I get mad, my accent comes out, and I just think it would be HILARIOUS if Niall and I got in a fight because we wouldn’t even be able to understand each other, we’d just be yelling.

“Wait what?”

“What?”

“I got no idea what ya just said.”

“I don’t know what you just said either!”

“I feel like we’re that SNL sketch with Fallon and Dratch right now.  No, you ahhh!”  *starts cackling at his own joke*

“you’re an idiot.”

Niall just laughs harder.

dvasing  asked:

If i may voice some salt here. I think the Mercy nerf is WAY too slow and makes her so much less fun to play. I can't resurrect someone successfully unless all enemies are far away or dead. My team can't focus on me all the time to shield me to res, and I'm fucked if I need to res the tank. She's beyond stressful to play so I'm glad Moira came out. I'm not picking Mercy back up for a long time so I guess Blizz got what they wanted.

Dude i fucking feel. I flew in to rez and she was so slow 4 enemies came up to me and i just laughed as soldier headshot me. Didnt even get the rez. shes just??? so bad??? like get rid of rex, fuck it. it’s useless anyway. 

Best of luck my mercy sister, blizz has lost us both, ill leave flowers on the grave 

anonymous asked:

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

This was so positive and beautiful wow so happy for you anon, love that you keep pushing through!! Keep being you

hawk in the raven nest, chapter twenty-four

chapter summary: tragic: causing or characterized by extreme distress or sorrow

A/N: hey guys!!! im so sorry that i had to postpone today’s chapter, i was had classes and then a swim meet and was out from 8am to 11pm last night and passed out the moment i got in

read on ao3

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Ever since Kevin began his time as a Fox on the starting line, the Ravens made it a habit of watching their games. Riko was the one who enforced that. Their teammates believed that it was so Riko could laugh at Kevin’s misfortune; Kevin left the best Class I Exy team for the last place Foxes, what was there that Riko couldn’t laugh at? Nathaniel, however, knew it was because Riko was paranoid. Kevin was always a threat to Riko, but before the Foxes, Kevin was a threat that Riko believed he could beat down. Now, with Kevin as an opponent, and an opponent who was drastically improving a team meant to amount to nothing, Kevin was a danger to Riko.

Riko became obsessive when watching the Foxes’ games. He kept note of every win and loss, the length of each point gap, which team they were playing and how they had fared against the Ravens. With each game that the Foxes won, and with that each large point gap, Riko grew less and less happy with his results.

With the Foxes winning game against Binghamton, Riko’s nerves were through the roof. He was past the point of a violent outbreak; at this stage, everything was internalized. His hands were clenched on the arms of his chair, his knuckles white. His eyes stared blankly at the screen as their teammates chattered around him in the lounge. Maybe they were nervous, too, but didn’t want to let on; maybe they didn’t see Kevin as a threat yet. Either way, Riko was panicking because championships were getting very close and the Foxes were going to be in the death matches. With the path they seemed to be going on, they might be able to get past Penn State. The Trojans could be the ones that stop them, but even that was too close for Riko’s liking.

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