i got so bored i did art do you see my problem

How I turned pro with Tarot Readings (but I still have a lot to learn!) 👌

Divination is a complex art, even though sometimes it doesn’t look like it. As you all know, I do tarot readings and I noticed how this particular method of clairvoyance gets the same reaction as a piece of contemporary art: people look at me and say I could have done it myself, or something along the lines, to which it’s hard not to reply with a Fuck off, why don’t you do it then?

I must admit that when I first got into tarot reading, doubting my abilities was somehow legit, since I kept using just a single tarot spread to answer whatever question I got and the answers didn’t always stick to what I needed to know. Luckily, in the last few years I’ve improved my technique. But how did I reach my level of expertise? 

I changed my perspective on tarots. This was really the first step. At the beginning of my practice the idea I had on tarot reading was completely different. The questions I usually asked all regarded my future, so I made readings whenever I had no idea about how things would turn. Don’t get me wrong, that is still divination, there is nothing wrong in it. But at the point tarot readings to me were just a game I’d like to play when I was bored and all alone or during sleepovers with my friends. Let’s see if he is gonna kiss me this weekend, and I was all ready to throw a tarot spread. It took a lot of years to understand that in tarots there is more than that. When you ask something to tarot cards what you are actually doing is asking for a consult, as if you were in a therapist’s office or talking with a helpline. Tarots gives advice. Which means you have to talk to them heart-to-heart and listen to their words accordingly.

I made tarot readings personal. Whenever a friend asked me for a consult, I wanted to give them the most accurate response there could possibly be. And in order to do that, I couldn’t just use that one and only tarot spread I knew, but I had to choose a spread that was specific to the case. So I decided it was time to start creating them all by myself and it turned out it wasn’t as hard as it seemed to be as long as you keep in mind these simple rules:

🔮 You need to understand where the Consultant mentally is, what they are facing in that moment, where does the question actually come from. Even when people say they just want to investigate their future, their desire probably comes out of something that buggers them.
🔮 You have to turn the Consultant’s request into a series of simple questions, that can help you get the hang of the situation. If the Consultant can’t find a job, I don’t ask the tarots the when’s and the if’s. Instead, I ask why they are blocked in the situation and what they can do to overcome the problem.
🔮 You should choose a layout that helps you get into the right mindset. Avoiding banalities (a heart-shaped layout for a spread about love can be a little too cliche), you can choose a shape that reminds you of the things you are inquiring on, like a Cupid’s bow if you’re asking about new love interests.

I turned off my rationality. As I said before divination really is an art form and, as most of the art forms, it’s easier to understand it if you don’t look at it through the eye of intellect. It might seems illogical, but that is the best way to let the meaning of the cards gets to you. No prejudice, no preconceptions. Sometimes the response could be hard to accept and that’s why I avoid to do readings about controversial or sensible matters. 

Did I really become a pro in tarot readings? There aren’t any tips or tricks to be brilliant at it. It takes time and exercise, and even after decades of practice you’ll find you still have a lot to learn. Some people have a natural inclination, other requires more effort instead. But if you’re receptive enough, tarots will disclose their secrets to you without a hitch.

phazerstorm  asked:

I just adore your art style, it's so cute! I'm thinking of making comics myself. Do you think you could give me some tips on angling or facial expressions or overall detail?

Thank you so so much! I really appreciate that! Like, a whole lot. ^^

I’m not exactly sure how much I’ll be able to help you, though I can at least give you some pointers on expressions! I’ll do my best. I’m sorry this is coming a bit late! 

I’m going to use Bendy for my examples, just because he’s super easy to draw and I have him on hand/mind at the moment. But! These can be used on just about anyone.

Keep in mind: this is just my way of doing things. There isn’t one “set” way to create great art! There’s a lot of experimenting, testing and growing when it comes to artwork.

When it comes down to expressions, there are a few things to consider: what are they feeling? How intense is this feeling? How far can, or should you push it? How can you make this feel realistic? In visual storytelling, showing what a character is going through is far more important than telling the reader. In a comic setting, there’s a very fine balance–since you have images to go with the words, but you can’t convey each minute action… At least in a reasonable amount of panels, the dialogue and the images have to work together when they’re used in tandem.

When a character is shouting, you have to push their expression further–it won’t be enough to show them with their mouth slightly open, or with a flat face. Give them wide eyes, or shut their eyes completely with frustration. Open their mouth wide, maybe even get their body language involved if you have enough room. Throw their arms in the air, have them pulling at their hair!

Likewise, if what they’re saying is quiet or somber, soften their expression. Have their gaze ill-focused, or looking to the ground. Their shoulders could be slumped, their brow could be low. Their mouth could be almost, or entirely closed. Or are they happy? Raise their eyebrows, widen their eyes with joy! Bring out that smile! Use as much variety and as many shapes as you can!

Because I’m a visual person, here are a few examples to give you a better idea of what I mean:

(I’m sorry if my handwriting is hard to read)

Which facial expressions are more interesting? Sure, the ones on the left are going through the motions of emoting, but the ones to the right REALLY show how the character is feeling!

Body language is also immensely important when it comes down to expressiveness. Every part of the body can be used to convey a message. The crossing of arms can indicate disgust, or even put a small barrier between two people. Slumped shoulders show disappointment or sadness. Every little movement a character makes can have a massive impact on their overall tone. Here are a few examples like the above:

Even minute changes to a static pose can make a BIG difference! Test around and see what works best.

I’ve noticed that some animators have mirrors near their desk. This is so they can look up at their reflection and make a face into the mirror. They project their character’s feelings onto themselves, that way they can see what sort of facial expression would be best suited to that emotion. Nowadays we can just google this, but it’s still a good idea. Don’t be afraid to look up references whenever you need them. I know I do frequently! There’s no shame in using references!

My friend linked me to this wonderful guide, which goes more in-depth than I did here. Take a look!

I’m sorry I can’t help you quite as much with angles. I feel that I’d need to do a little more research in order to be able to articulate this more fluently. Perhaps some other time I can try and revisit this and go more into depth about perspective and foreshortening, but for now, here’s another great guide that might help you along in the right direction. I use a similar structure for my own drawings! 

Speaking of foreshortening, here’s another tutorial! I don’t use this particular method, but it may work for you!

I know you didn’t ask for it, but I’d like to give you some tips about comic making. If you don’t want them, then I guess you can just stop reading, pfff. Either way I’ll put it under a cut so this post doesn’t take up so much of the dashboard.

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the skies above us

written for @alittledizzy as part of @fandomtrumpshate

length: 14.8k

genre(s): fluff+angst

triggers/warnings: implied panic attack/anxiety, canonical character death mentions

Baz and Simon meet in a community center art class and become fast enemies; much to the chagrin of their matchmaking therapist. Over the next few months tensions escalate, paint is thrown, coffee is had, and the two of them learn that there’s more to life than just doing what’s expected of you

playlist | ao3

a/n: bless @cherryonsimon for being the most patient beta and best friend and for staying up until 5am reading this over!! and a huge thank you to all of my friends who listened to me talk about this fic for ages and who offered their support throughout the entire process 💜 (this fic will crash the mobile app so if you’re on your phone i recommend reading on ao3 ^__^)



Simon

“How’ve you been, Simon?”

I shrug, and Ebb writes something down in her notebook. I crane my neck to see what it is, and she pulls it back. Frowning, I lean back on the couch and cross my arms. It’s not like she’s said something bad, it’s just a habit I’d picked up over the years. Being in and out of therapy since you were a child tends to make you curious about what they’re saying about you, especially if their evaluation could determine whether you get shuffled around yet again.

Not like that would actually happen with Ebb, especially since I aged out of the system a while ago, but it’s still a knee-jerk reaction to seeing someone taking down notes about me. Never mind that I’ve been seeing the same therapist for six months; some habits are hard to break.

Ebb is the best person I know, which is probably a weird thing to say about someone you pay to listen to your problems; but when you don’t have a lot of people in your corner, you learn to appreciate the ones who are.

Her office looks nothing like the small cramped rooms of the therapists I’d been sent to when I was a kid. It’s large and airy, with a red couch covered in pillows and crocheted afghans. The walls are completely covered in pictures of people, of places, of things. The first time I’d visited, I’d asked Ebb about her walls, and she’d just laughed and told me it reminded her of her life.

“What about it?” I’d asked.

“That I’ve lived it,” she’d replied and laughed again.

I love Ebb’s laugh. She laughs like everything matters, and it’s nice to hear. Encouraging. It’s one of the many reasons I keep coming back.

She’s still waiting for my answer, but I don’t feel pressured. That’s another thing I like about Ebb: she gets it. She knows that sometimes words are hard for me and that sometimes you just get sad for no real reason.

Ebb lost her brother when she was young. I know this because she accidentally let it slip during a session one day. I felt like a jerk for not comforting her, only watching as she’d wiped her eyes on the cuff of her jumper, but I know she understood.

Other people’s emotions are hard for me to handle, but I’m getting better at it, I think. I should probably ask Penny, considering she’s basically the only person I talk to regularly, now that Agatha’s broken up with me and moved away to the States. To California. To “find herself”, whatever the hell that means.

“I’ve been…okay,” I finally say, and Ebb nods.

“Just okay?”

“Well–,” I pause, “I did have an incident at work…”

Ebb nods, and I take it as encouragement to continue.

“I got fired again.”

“Uh oh,” she says, but not in a way that makes me feel bad.

“I messed up a customer’s drink and got so anxious as I was trying to fix it that I broke the machine.”

She tuts and writes something in her notebook again. My curiosity is too much this time. “What are you writing?”

“Just a reminder,” she replies, “I’ll tell you at the end of the session.”

That doesn’t completely satisfy my curiosity, but I drop the subject anyway.

We spend the rest of the hour discussing my week–what I’ve done, what I haven’t done, what I should be doing,–until the timer on Ebb’s side table beeps and she uncrosses her legs. Her head is bent, and I want to ask what she was going to say before, but she beats me to it.

“Have you thought about taking up a hobby?” she asks, pen still scratching across the paper as she looks up at me.

That’s not what I was expecting. “I mean…” I trail off, trying to remember the last time I’d done anything that could be considered a “hobby”. I play football with friends sometimes, except…except it’s been years since I’ve actually done anything like that. Christ, has it been that long? “It hasn’t exactly been a priority to me.” I say, avoiding Ebb’s inquiring gaze.

“Well, maybe it should be,” she says in a way that makes me think I don’t have a choice in the matter. Maybe that’s a good thing, because I know if I were on my own I’d never push myself to find something.

“Like what?”

“I was thinking something therapeutic. Like… relaxing. Have you ever taken a painting class before?”

“You mean outside school?”

She nods.

“No.”

“Would you be interested in trying one?”

I shrug. Again.

She sets her pen down and tears a page out of her notebook, folds it, and hands it to me. “Here’s the information about the class. You don’t have to attend, but I think It’d be good for you.”

I take the paper, and look at the class name. “Why painting and drawing?”

“Well, Simon, I could list all of the reasons it’s beneficial to your mental health, but that’s boring and you don’t want to hear it. Long story short: it might make you happy and that’s a damn good reason, in my opinion.”

I nod, because I feel like I’m supposed to agree.

We make my next appointment, and as I’m leaving she says, “I really do think this will be good for you, Simon.” It’s like she can tell that I’m considering tossing the number, and I make a firm decision not to.

I wave goodbye and duck out the door, shoving the paper roughly into my jacket pocket. It feels heavier than it should, and I know it’s because I’m overthinking this. (As usual.) I’ll probably feel better once I have more information, but the thought of me enjoying an art class makes me want to laugh. I’m not artistic in any way, and I really don’t have any interest in spending time looking at stupid bowls of fruit, or drawing naked people, or whatever people do in classes like this.

But I’ll do it. For Ebb. (And because maybe she’s right about this. Maybe it will make me happy.)

(Something has to.)

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Amelia: Lin Manuel Miranda x Reader

This is based off of @ourforgottenboleros series ‘Amelia’, which is AMAZING and you should go read it RIGHT NOW because oh my god it’s just so quality. ( @amelialuzmiranda )

My thing takes place seven years later, two months after Hamilton has premiered on Broadway. Yes, I wrote fanfiction of fanfiction but shhhh.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I know nothing about subways :)

Word Count: 1945


Hamilton took seven years for Lin to write, and you were there every step of the way. Five years ago, the two of you were married. Amy was the flower girl and a bridesmaid. She insisted on being both and you could you say no to that? Three years ago, you opened a second gallery in Brooklyn. It focused on more modern art pieces while your original focused on photography. You had never seen Lin so proud of you in your entire life. You were building a brand name.

One year ago, Hamilton opened at the Public Theater. Two months ago was Lin’s opening night on Broadway. Everything moved slowly, but at the same time was passing you by in an instant. You had always been pretty good at taking things slow.

On this particular Friday, Amelia had been talking about going to the theatre from the moment she woke up in the morning.

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My Review of Mass Effect Andromeda

Just because I know I’m going to be asked about it (and let’s be real: because I want to broadcast my opinions into the void) I wrote down my thoughts on Mass Effect Andromeda. This review is spoiler-free but I put it under a read more for length. I’m warning you: it’s long. I had a lot of thoughts.

Quick Version: 6.5/10. Strongest elements were characters, combat and on-planet exploration. Weakest were story, worldbuilding and visuals.

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the art of seduction (Loki x Reader)

Originally posted by crimsonpeakmovie

Requested by  anhartcuteneon <3
Prompt:  Hello! Could you do an imagine of Loki trying to seduce you for information?
A/N: terribly sorry for the wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Warnings: T 
Words: 1579

MASTERLIST. KO-FI.

You knew this was going to happen eventually. You just knew it. You stuck your nose where it didn’t belong and now were a part of a secret one trickster was practically dying to know. He had been eyeing you for a while now – ever since he found out you knew of what he desired – which made you both highly uncomfortable and somewhat excited. After all, his divine attention was to be proud of. All of your female co-workers were fuming with jealousy. But to be honest you just wanted to continue your boring day to day job without a hitch. And for a while you were still able to do that.

Until Loki showed up at your doorstep, that is.

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This question’s been sitting in my askbox for WEEKS now, apologies for taking so long to respond to this!

To preface this post it’s important to note: I’m not a professional, and don’t have professional experience.  All thoughts are based on personal opinion, preference, and prior experience designing characters for personal projects!

Click the jump for a big post with me rambling about character designs I do and don’t like, and why I do/don’t like them!

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anonymous asked:

I'm kinda curious why do you hate yoi? Fandom is weird as hell but what's so wrong with the series alone?

IT IS THE FANDOM THAT PROVOKES THE MOST HATRED IN ME.

The Yuri on Ice fandom has utterly ruined the show for me, and honestly, if the fandom didn’t harass real life figure skaters, hallmark executives, and people who don’t like their precious show, all with their battlecry of “well you’re just homophobic”, then i probably would’ve just dismissed yuri on ice as “ok.”

It was mediocre.

A fanservice-fueled mess of romantic cliches, awkward figure skating animation, and sexy butt shots.

Let me lay this down, alright?

Its writing is disjointed, and its characters are either one shot characters or terribly inconsistent, like I still don’t know if Victor is a sociopathic simpleton or just a juvenile, shallow egocentric adult who just doesn’t know how to coach AT ALL.

Or if Yuri is confident or NOT confident.

We never saw ANY reason for him to suddenly be confident in himself, other than he’s sexually attracted to Victor, and Victor is sexually attracted to him, and this for some reason culminates in a sudden increase in talent.

Victuuri as a relationship is also rather poor, which is BAD since the whole series literally hinged itself on it.

It’s based off a drunken encounter that failed to be endearing to ME, because I was wondering why the fuck a stripper pole is present at a black tie formal event banquet.

I also don’t find Victor’s reasons for being attracted to him compelling.

What, he was ballsey while drunk? He skated kinda nice in a youtube video?

Or he just wanted to fuck the shit out of him?

Like…ok, fine. That could work.

Except it didn’t, because Victor never went into that shit at all.

Yuri didn’t even remember it.

And what, they developed a bond while training?

SO WHY DIDN’T WE SEE IT?

What is there to like?

And even if we did see it, look at the characters.

Let’s ignore canon relationships, and look at them as people.

what is there to like about Yuri Katsuki?

That he’s shy and “sweet?”

If you made him female, he would be the least interesting moe shoujo harem chick ever seen.

You would absolutely not like him if he were, say, Shinji Ikari, nervous and unsure of himself in times of crisis.

People like Yuri for only a few reasons, and they’re as follows:

He’s a stand in for them, a gay stand in so they don’t have to be threatened by a cute anime girl.

And he’s shy and flustered and uwu soooo cute, but also sexy and assertive and a power bottom, so I’m told.

These are not traits that stand on their own. They are entirely dependent on an active base of fangirls with no desire to see said character doing anything else or developing.

He’s DULL in other words.

And so is VICTOR.

He’s the ace who can do anything, but chooses to be interested in the guy with low self confidence.

Wish fulfillment. That’s what that is.

Sexy guy takes interest in the “nobody.”

Oldest trick in the book.

And if your argument is that the characters don’t need to be good…uh, yes, they do, because it’s a “sports anime,” purportedly…

Sports anime NEED to focus on either characters and their relationships, or the sport itself.

Yuri on ice fumbled both.

We saw Yuri and Victor vaguely talk about stupid ass shit that revealed nothing about themselves as people…and drop sexual innuendo.

Then we had some bloated individual character drama that either got dropped from the main plot or was simply boring.

Like Sala and her brother?

That weird guy with the fucked up mascara and his angst over his bitchy ex girlfriend?

Minami?

Those two people I don’t even remember, the Pewdiepie lookalike?

Seriously, Yuri on Ice could’ve been really, really good if it had cut some of the extra characters.

Made Victor and Yuri more like PEOPLE, and not puppets that existed solely to sell some yaoi fangirl bait.

And if Yuri Plisetsky and Otabek were the main couple, yeah.

The thing is, anon, that these things don’t make it the worst anime ever.

I’ll say that liberally.

Yuri on ice isn’t the worst anime ever.

I liked parts of it.

Mostly Yuri P, Otabek, and JJ. I thought JJ should’ve had more of a role, he was talented and his skating was daring, that was a good dynamic.

But why did I really hate this anime?

BECAUSE IT HINGED ON VICTUURI.

A BORING COUPLE OF ANIME STEREOTYPES THAT ARE ONLY APPEALING-

Because they’re gay.

I can guarantee you that if one of them was female, ya’ll would hate it.

And if you’re saying, ok, but it’s revolutionary because it chose to make them both male, that’s a good thing, isn’t it animentality?

Wrong.

It would’ve been revolutionary to have a real story.

Hinged on competition.

And actual anxiety, not anxiety that comes and goes according to when the writers feel like putting it in there.

Panic attacks, nausea, inability to perform…and not YURI fucking crying and then suddenly being perfectly able to perform right afterwards simply because Victor…

SAID SOMETHING REALLY STUPID.

That’s right.

Yuri’s “anxiety” is used as a romantic plot device.

It’s an excuse for Victor to comfort him.

It magically vanishes whenever it doesn’t need to be there.

But my point is…

That Yuri on ice could’ve built up a relationship between them…one without the sauna scenes, without the sexy posing, without the sexy lip touching and ass groping and stupid fanservice touching.

It could’ve built it slowly.

and then the last episode.

They could’ve kissed.

And then it would’ve excused all of the absolute mess that was its story, and its characters.

If they had chosen to make it SEEM like a conventional sports anime instead of hyping it up as gay from the start, then i could’ve forgiven anything else.

I could even forgive its creepy ass anon hate flame warring fandom.

But they didn’t.

They chose to give us two guys sort of kissing, and then having the plot change NOTHING.

They chose to give us a teasing wedding proposal that didn’t seem like one, since Yuri never said yes, and they don’t wear their rings in promotional art.

Nor does Yuri actually WIN his stupid metal.

They gave us a dog in the hospital and a lot of back hugs.

Great.

Mediocre anime, anon.

I wouldn’t hate it just for being mediocre…

If its fandom didn’t so actively lead the charge against “homophobes,” acting like their fujobait is some kind of revolutionary of the LGBT movement, the spearhead that ends all homophobia.

Love on ice isn’t plagiarism.

Your anime is just WEAK.

It’s imitated the work of others, and then claims ownership of that work, calling anything even vaguely like it plagiarism.

It claims domination over all forms of lgbt media because it doesn’t “Sexualize” even though the first episode has Victor’s ass in our faces. Even though everyone inexplicably decides to strip and show off those oiled abs for all of us.

It tells me that this honest review is nothing but homophobic.

That by noticing sexualization, I am sexualizing gays.

It says that because I don’t like the show for fetishizing a gay couple, for touting it as an icon of gay media when it didn’t even have the guts to refer to the two of them as a “couple” and chose instead to have Kubo Mitsuro leave it as “ambiguous” that I am some kind of irrational beast who just doesn’t like gays.

Yes, anon.

I hate yoi.

And let me be candid with my followers, too, the new ones, who didn’t, perhaps, know about this.

I hate yuri on ice.

Not because it’s implied that Yuri and Victor have a relationship.

But because it’s implied they have a relationship.

And yaoi fangirls, ah, they don’t care.

They masturbate with their feelings, remember? As long as the guys are hot, they’ll claim LGBT activism.

They’ll stress how important it is, how special it is, that Yuri on ice is successful (ignoring the fact that they made it successful, AS IN they, the fetishizing young women audience exploited in the past by many other forms of fanservice).

And that…cannot be torn apart from the show.

I cannot judge the show separately from the fandom.

It is a part of it, it IS the show.

Without its fandom, what does it have to offer?

Nothing.

Look at Free!

What happened to it?

Now compare it to snk, what do you see?

Snk has an apocalypse, monsters, a fight for human survival, the depths of the human will.

What does Yuri on ice have?

A meandering story with shallow problems and sexy guys being cute for a camera.

Some corporate-cut standards box full of shit that’s been done before, just not in a gay way.

What’s wrong with the series alone?

Nothing.

It just can’t stand alone.

This was my first time drawing Flurry Heart! She’s the cutest baby in the show, by far!

🐌 SYNOPSIS 🐌

Twilight and Spike have a big day planned in the form of visiting and entertaining sick foals at the Ponyville Hospital. But when exhausted parents Shining Armor and Princess Cadance stop by with Flurry Heart, Twilight is eager to spend the day with her beloved niece. Determined to prove she can be the Best Aunt Ever while keeping to her packed schedule, Twilight agrees to watch over Flurry, despite Spike’s apprehension.


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Forever an immigrant

In 1996, my dad was assigned to go work overseas at Samsung’s new semiconductor chip manufacturing plant in Austin, Texas. Initially, he was hesitant to go. It would mean uprooting his entire life, and plus he didn’t want his children growing up losing sight of their Korean heritage. But they sent him anyway, and thus began our family’s strange, but exciting new life in America, born out of my dad’s enormous sacrifice.

There were language barrier issues and little culture shock mishaps since the beginning, sure. Since the first grade, I remember starting off every new school year with a plea to not to embarrass myself by messing anything up with my English, to not give away the fact that I was different in any way from my classmates. But my dad’s fears came true as I gradually became more comfortable speaking English to my friends than speaking Korean at home. I knew the conversion became complete as soon as I started dreaming and thinking in English. It made my school life easier for me at the time, but looking back on it now, I wish I hadn’t been so quick to try to assimilate.

My mom and dad moved back to Korea when I left for college, their parental duties having been fulfilled by giving their kids that “coveted” American education. That’s why it came as such a shock to me when they casually dropped a bombshell — after 20 years of forming my life and identity in the US, they wanted me to come back to Korea after graduation. To them, it was expected that their kids would learn everything they could from America, then return to Korea and make use of what they’d learned.

I fought, cried, and argued with them for months. I was finally ready to enter the world I had worked so hard to be accepted by, and this felt like wiping out right before the finish line. Then, three months before graduation, my dad had a stroke and the decision was made for me. I finished school early and decided to forego the graduation ceremony because I knew what I had to do — I would be going back to live with my parents, at least until my dad got better and I gained some sort of idea about what I wanted to do with my life. We made an informal deal that I would stick it out for three years, and give my birthplace a chance. And like a dutiful daughter, I did what they asked me to, working and living for three years in a country that was now as foreign as America first was to me in 1996.

People in Korea often ask gyopos (Korean-Americans), “Which do you like better, Korea or America?” They look at me expectantly, jealousy in their eyes for my fluent English and American citizenship. I don’t know what answer they’re looking for. I usually laugh and give my stock response, one I’ve picked up from hearing so many times: “Korea is the most fun Hell, but America is the most boring Heaven.” It’s a desperate, vague attempt to appease both of my identities. Looking back on my words now, I’m ashamed. How did I live my life thinking this, so blissfully unaware? After the events of last night, I can no longer think of America as the heaven I once thought it was.

Three lonely but eye-opening years passed. I experienced the beautiful and ugly sides of Korea, traveled to nearby countries in Asia, and saw how privileged I was to be able to live this dual life. After I finally saved up enough money to move back on my own and secured a job in America, I made the leap. For the most part, repatriation has been a smooth transition, but I’m consumed by guilt and dread for the future when I think about the aging parents I left behind in Korea. Though they gave their reluctant blessing to let me have the life and career I’ve longed to have in America, their worries are ever-looming in the back of my mind. I want to prove to them that they made the right decision, but every day is a struggle to convince my parents that I am okay here, that I’m safe in a country 7,000 miles away from them. And now in the wake of Trump’s victory, the implications that a deeply racist nation elected him make it harder for me to justify my living here to them.

The past few years for me have been the most accelerated crash-course in learning what it means to be Korean-American, and last night felt like a “fuck you” to everyone who looks like me. An Asian immigrant, and a woman at that. It feels like the failed culmination of a 20-year struggle to fit in, of yearning to look like my white classmates, for someone to look at me and not think I’m completely out of place. I’m most afraid of people who I thought were my friends, but stayed silent and walked into the voting booth yesterday to cast a ballot for Trump. I knew America feared us, but this just confirmed it. It feels like a punch to the gut because it proves that my parents were right.

I’m lucky to have spent most of my formative years in California and to be currently living in the diversity of New York, but yesterday, my paranoia that the people around me don’t see me as part of their white America was confirmed. Even though my job has allowed me to surround myself with like-minded people, ultimately my carefully curated social media feed has allowed me to live this last election cycle in a bubble. But now that bubble has popped, and today feels like when the lights turn on at the club and you realize you’d been dancing with a dirty mop.

The most disturbing part about a Trump presidency is the fact that half the people who came out to vote agreed with a sexist, racist maniac — and half of all Americans stayed home and watched him get elected. And these people aren’t so visibly different from you, or me. Even the Hillary supporters right now, the ones who are looking for ways out by threatening to leave to Canada, are part of the problem. Now more than ever, we need white allies to step up and show their support for millions of Muslim, Black, Latino, Asian, and LGBTQ+ Americans who have always been — even more so today — living in fear. Something is incredibly broken when the immediate response to a new president-elect is “I’m scared.”

For the rest of us POCs, we have to keep living our lives and create art and make ourselves heard, because we can’t keep waiting around for America to do it for us. We’re a nation of immigrants and minorities, and we’re going to keep creating and building things that are going to be better than a fucking wall.

Marrissey Quotes to sob over

Your welcome…

“It’s no secret that I would be on the next bus to his house.”— Morrissey, 1990, upon being asked ‘If Johnny phoned and asked to work with you again, what would you say? ‘

“He is painfully shy,” emphasises Johnny Marr. “You’ve got to understand that. We all look out for Morrissey. It’s a very brotherly feeling. When we first rehearsed, I’d have done anything for him. And as a person Morrissey is really capable of a truly loving relationship. Every day he’s so open, so romantic and sensitive to other people’s emotions.”  Johnny Marr, 1985

“He was different with me than he was with everybody else. I couldn’t have given my music to anybody - anybody else, and he appreciated it more, because he just fell in love with it, and that went on all the way through the band. In many ways he was my biggest fan really.”
— Johnny Marr on Morrissey

“We really were swept away by passion for what we were about to embark upon. I remember talking about the New York Dolls’ album cover photograph on the very first day we got together - should we sprawl all over each other in photos like they did? Without sounding too pretentious, the two of us were able to project onto each other and into the ether, everything in us that had been suppressed for years. There was a lot of shouting “yeah!” at each other, great, passionate agreement: “Yeah, that’s what I want to do too…”— Johnny Marr, 2004, reflecting upon the day he met Morrissey.

“He is painfully shy,” emphasises Johnny Marr. “You’ve got to understand that. We all look out for Morrissey. It’s a very brotherly feeling. When we first rehearsed, I’d have done anything for him. And as a person Morrissey is really capable of a truly loving relationship. Every day he’s so open, so romantic and sensitive to other people’s emotions.”  Johnny Marr, 1985

“Obviously with Johnny, I feel very defensive about our relationship. Some things have to be shielded, but the dedication I feel to him is quite solid and impregnable.”   Morrissey.

“There’s a lot of our relationship in those songs. That’s not to say the words are about our relationship, but the feeling in the recordings and some of the songs are a product of our relationship because we are so wrapped up in each other.”
— Johnny Marr on working with Morrissey

“He appeared at a time when I was deeper than the depths, if you like. And he provided me with this massive energy boost. I could feel Johnny’s energy just seething inside of me.”  Morrissey.

“The relationship between me and Morrissey is the best in the group, of the four of us. I still see him now. I called him last night. Last time I saw him was a couple of days before he went in to do his recent album. We let a bored media get the better of us, but there’s always been a certain telepathy between us even when we didn’t see each other. We played a game with the press and they played with us, but it’s not true life. No, we’re friends.”
— Johnny Marr, 1993.

“He appeared at a time when I was deeper than the depths, if you like. And he provided me with this massive energy boost. I could feel Johnny’s energy just seething inside of me.”
 Morrissey.

Smash Hits: What would you do if you could be invisible for a day?
Johnny Marr: I think I’d just follow Morrissey around and see what he gets up to when he disappears…

“ We actually got together a few times. We went for a walk in the country, we went out to dinner one night and later we just went for a long drive. It was really good to see each other away from any scenes. Like everyone, in private we’re quite different characters. I know the real Morrissey and he knows the real me. "   Johnny Marr quote

” We really were swept away by passion for what we were about to embark upon. I remember talking about the New York Dolls’ album cover photograph on the very first day we got together - should we sprawl all over each other in photos like they did? Without sounding too pretentious, the two of us were able to project onto each other and into the ether, everything in us that had been suppressed for years. There was a lot of shouting “yeah!” at each other, great, passionate agreement: “Yeah, that’s what I want to do too… “ 'There was a sense that we’d really found each other. We really admired each other and wanted to spend every minute of the day with each other.‘   Johnny Marr, about meeting Morrissey.

“Only he and I know that something like a fight or a difference in lifestyles or court cases or who said what in the press about who, or what fans might say, is pretty small change compared to the connection we have. It’s very deep. In short, there’s a very big part of him that I understand. And he knows it.'  Johnny Marr.

“It was a special musical relationship. And those are few and far between. For Johnny and I it won’t come again. I think he knows that and I know it. The Smiths had the best of Johnny and me. Those were definitely *the* days.”  Morrissey

“We were totally excited about where we were going to go, and we were falling over ourselves with ideas. Looking back on it now, it’s an almost even stranger set of circumstances, that the two talents fitted together like a hand in glove. There, I’ve said it. I don’t think I’m the only one who could imagine that song being about Morrissey and myself. It certainly did describe our relationship, and was born out of that new relationship.  Johnny Marr

‘It got to the stage where I was so impressed and infatuated, that even if he couldn’t play, it really didn’t matter…’  Morrissey

“So much has been made of that first meeting with Morrissey, but I suppose that looking back at it, it must have been the attraction of opposites. Like, he is a very tidy person and very organised and that was a bit of a shock to me, plus I had never seen so many books in the one room. I had certainly never met anyone like him and it still intrigues me why he was interested in JM. I’m still a little puzzled. Still a little confused. Because a lot about us is really very different. Like I am quite into rock ‘n’ roll and he has obviously nothing at all to do with it. I did say before that I think he needs a good humping and I really believe that. I tell him that about three times a week so you can see that there is a lot more humour in the relationship than everyone thinks. He is certainly the funniest person I know.”
— Johnny Marr, 1985.

“I am shaken when I hear Johnny play guitar, because he is quite obviously gifted and almost unnaturally multi-talented. Since he shows an exact perspective on all things, I can’t help but wonder: What is he doing here with me? Formulating writing systems and mapping out how best to blend our dual natures – here, against the hiss of the paraffin lamp, and me wrapped in the sanctity of an enormous overcoat acquired in a Denver charity shop for $5. Why has Johnny not already sprayed his mark – elsewhere, with others less scarred and less complicated than I am? It seemed to me that Johnny had enough spark and determination to push his way in amongst Manchester’s headhunters – yet here he was, with someone whose natural bearing discouraged openness. Stranger still, we get on very well. It is a matter of finding yourself in possession of the one vital facet that the other lacks, but needs.” Morrissey (Autobiography)

Q: Do you love Johnny Marr? 

Morrissey: “Yes… that’s not a hard one. I loved and love Johnny Marr.” (Q, 1994).

“The thing that brought us really close together is the essence of why Morrissey lives his life and why I live my life.Without the art of pop music and pop culture, life doesn’t make any sense. It was a pretty serious, deep need. It wasn’t just the need to escape our social situation, because underneath it all, one of the things that makes us the same is that we’re both incredibly sensitive. There was this burden with serious mental problems that were taken care of by records.”— Johnny Marr 

“After the first meeting [with Morrissey] we really couldn’t get together often enough” says Marr. “It was a few times a week. We got a hell of a lot done in that first month”. They were, Marr admits, in awe of one another’s potential. “He and I almost had this unspoken relationship where we were both able to be ourselves but we both knew how important we were to each other. What shouldn’t be forgotten is that we really, really liked each other. It wasn’t some business arrangement or relationship of convenience. There was intrigue and understanding because as different as we were, the thing that was paramount inside each of us was pop records and that absolute promise of escape. And he understood that without us ever having to talk about it”. (Simon Goddard)

"We Loved Each Other” - Johnny Marr

“Angel, Angel, Down We Go Together” was written with Johnny Marr in mind and it is the only song I have written with him in mind, post-smiths.“   Morrissey - Mojo Magazine 2002

"Sometimes, I think all he needs is a good humping”   Johnny Marr about Morrissey

Let Me Put On A Show: Jonghyun and Taemin Threesome

Originally posted by jinqki

Based off this request

Pairing: Jonghyun x Reader x Taemin

Word Count:  3k

Content: Jonghyun and Taemin invite you over to hang and you end up playing strip Monopoly. Things get very x-rated. +Taemin taking orders, getting watched as you have sex, and a threesome(kind of).  

Written By: Bambi

Authors’ Note: I worked on this a lot and I’m really proud of it and it’s only my second smut I’ve written so I’d really appreciate any type of feedback! I hope everyone reading enjoys this and I really hope that the anon who requested likes it the most! Happy reading! 


  

  You didn’t exactly know how you got into the predicament you were in. You didn’t exactly care to get out of it either. It was a game of strip Monopoly that ended with you sandwiched in between Jonghyun and Taemin. You only wore your panties, Teamin was completely naked and Jonghyun was only missing his shirt.

   The actual Monopoly game was Jonghyuns idea. He always knew how to spice up a boring night and this night was one of the plainest you’d had in a while.

   Jonghyun had called you earlier that night complaining that him and Taemin were bored and alone. They had wanted to have some sort of bonding night with the other members of SHINee but Minho and Onew both were busy filming their respective dramas and Key had claimed to forget the night had even been scheduled. After a ten minute phone call with Jonghyun and Taemin both taking turns to  whine into the phone you had gave in.

Keep reading

Preference #16 - Happy Valentine’s Day

A/N: It’s already the 14th where I am! Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers! Whether or not you have a special someone to celebrate it with, I love all of you so much. Thank you for giving me the motivation to do what I love. I hope you’ll enjoy this :)

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“SEE LUNA SAFE TO ALTISSIA” - part 7

Pair: Nyx Ulric / Lunafreya Nox Fleuret

Previously: For some reasons, if I insert the Ao3 link here, the post doesn’t show up in the tags. So if you want the previous chapters, just message me privately ;)

Words: 4785

Plot: Luna and Nyx didn’t fell in the Empire’s trap, Nyx didn’t had to use the ring and he survived. What would have happened if Nyx really had the chance to ‘see Luna safe to Altissia’, like he promised to Regis? Here the part 7: Galdin Quay. Magic atmosphere. Dancing. Dino shipping Lunyx in the background. What do you expect to happen? ;)  

I have to thank again my beta reader @loveiscosmicsin … and this time. OMG. THE ART. Look at the art this time. @ramibriidge for the drawing and @viianki (yeah, we pulled you in all this too!) for the coloring <3 

What an amazing staff I have beyond the curtains <3 I feel blessed.


Somehow, Dino monopolized their attention for the rest of the day. He offered to pay for their drinks and Coctura cooked dishes from the freshest caught seafood they could ever eat. From the water and straight to the frying pan as the chef put it simply. In spite of first impressions, Dino was quite an enjoyable company – if you were ready to ignore his sad flirting attempts with basically every living girl around him. He traveled a lot in his life so he could entertained them with spicy anecdotes about almost everything. For his own sake, he didn’t dare to comment the delicate relationship between the Oracle and the Glaive anymore, but he kept observing every move of them, every eye contact and every slightly touch. That was a bit weird but both Luna and Nyx learned to deal with it pretty fast. Only when the evening came, Dino offered another drink to Lunafreya and left her with Coctura while he casually took Nyx’s arm and whispered: “Can I talk with you for a second?” Nyx was creeped by what the question could possibly imply but didn’t have other choice than please him.

“What’s the matter?” he asked as they reached the pier.

Dino smirked and took a key out of his pocket, placing it into the Glaive’s hand. Then he sneered, “You’re gonna thank me one day.”

“If this is what I think it is, I –” 

“You’ll gonna owe me big one day, I know.”

“This is getting embarrassing. Me and the Princess, not what you’re thinking and I would neve–”

“Oh, sure, like you can fool me. Anyway, how you use it is up to you. Haven’t you two ever shared a room?”

“Yeah, we did but–”

“So what’s the problem? Look, you have to sleep somewhere, right? Don’t overthink too much, it doesn’t help you.” 

Nyx sighed but in the end accepted the key. “Why are you doing it?”

Dino shrugged. “I could write another article about the way I recognize gems among tons of useless stones but… maybe the truth is that I just understand when a man needs help with a girl.”

Nyx bit his down lip and admitted, “That is not a simple girl I can pick up and then let go. That is the Princess. That is the Oracle of Eos.”

Dino seemed deeply puzzled by the insinuation: “Well, beyond that, isn’t she just a girl, anyway?”

Nyx smiled, putting the key in his pocket. “You are not as stupid as you look.”


Later that night, the music was played to entertain the clients and Galdin Quay got even more magical. The soft lights painted in red, orange and yellow the water of ocean, the air smelled like sea and cocktails, the gentle breeze caressed the skin of them all. Luna was so carried away by the atmosphere that she almost forgot her problems. Coctura was constantly excited of being in her company and spoiled her in every possible way, so hunger was the least concern on Luna’s mind tonight.

Nyx decided to stay a bit in the distance instead, watching over her as always, but in the most discreet way. He just knew that she preferred like that right now because of the ‘dream’ and of course he was right. Luna was kind of relieved in not having him around, constantly remembering the sensual moments they shared in the dream. Yet, she looked in his direction every time she could, just to be sure he was still there, never abandoning her. And when she got the confirmation of that, her heart warmed up more than it should have.

After two hours of watching the local band playing music, Lunafreya sighed. Coctura was fun, but all she discussed was about food or recipes while Dino was flirting with a blond girl on the bridge and he didn’t seemed to have any interest in conversing with someone else. In the end, Luna got bored and had to go back to Nyx. 

“Maybe I should retire for the night.” 

“Really? It’s still early and the night life here is amazing” Nyx said, revealing how much he was enjoying the music and the atmosphere. “You should stay a bit more.” 

“I have nothing to do.” 

“You could dance.” 

“And with who? You?”

Nyx raised his eyebrows and sighed, going back to look to the distance. "Wouldn’t that be nice…”

Luna’s first attempt of making a joke ended in a huge failure, because nobody there was laughing at all. On the contrary, it looked like she just putted salt on a open wound. 

“Nyx, I cannot hold my tongue on this any longer. I’m truly sorry about that dream” she started, whispering in a neutral tone, “I don’t know how it happened and I couldn’t control it at the time. I’m also sorry for telling you and for every discourteous act that came right after. Maybe we should both forget about all this and go back to our usual professional relationship.”

Nyx swallowed and smiled, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "Sure. At least until the next time we can have a conversation without you being snappy with me or red in the face to tell me what’s going on.”

Luna rolled her eyes. "Yes, this is exactly what I wanted to apologize about.” 

"It’s okay. If we go back to our professional relationship, may I have this dance?” 

Luna froze and faltered. "Ah, I…”

Nyx tried again: "Very professional dancing, I mean. I’ll just take it as the olive branch. You know, peace.”

The princess closed her eyes and hid the lips beyond her hand. She knew exactly what she wanted to do, but she also knew what was her duty to do and the two things didn’t coincide.

“Just one quick dance…” she said in the end, hoping that her heart and her mind would have accept such a compromise.

For Nyx it was enough: he tendered his hand, waiting for her to take it. She did it with a certain reluctance and regretted it immediately after, understanding where this would have lead in the moment she noticed Dino glancing at them with a victorious smile, raising his glass in the air. 

Nyx didn’t ever had a lot of dancing experience, but the battles of the past forged his body for every kind of movement, so he didn’t take a lot before settling for the dance. He rested a hand on Luna’s waist without looking shy, on the contrary, he searched for Luna’s eyes to sense if that wasn’t too much for her to bear.

Her cheeks were already burning hot, but she didn’t try to escape. She just positioned herself for the dance as the etiquette required and started on. The music was a soft jazz, which didn’t give them the opportunity to really keep the distance.

"Like I said before, Princess, it’s just a dance between two professional people. You can relax. And more, nobody except Dino and Coctura recognized us, so you can just enjoy the moment without fearing of ruining your reputation with a miserable Glaive like me.”

Luna took a deep breath and realized he was right. She was just too tense, so she relaxed her muscles and got closer to him, resting in the end her cheek on his shoulder. "A miserable Glaive…” she smiled. An unexpected feeling of protection and tranquillity invested her, making her closing her eyes. “You’re far from that.”

When a minute has passed and Nyx was sure she wouldn’t have freak out, he tightened his arms around her, smelling the sweet perfume of her hair mixed with the one of the salted sea. He was never been so close to her and the new experience lit up senses he didn’t even know he had. Suddenly, he felt everything at once. Like supernatural powers triggered by her closeness, his taste, sight, hearing, touch, smell were amplified, and at the same time he also experimented the electrical and magnetic vibes she radiated, enjoying them like a breath of fresh air. 

"Yeah? What do you think I am?” he asked, knowing that yes, he was such a miserable Glaive. For wanting a woman that was not his to have. “Just tell me if I’m getting warmer or colder.”

Luna placed her arms around him and shook her head. She started to think and think, and the line of her thoughts got darker as the time passed. "Nyx,” she whispered when the song was almost over. She stood on the tips of her toes, reaching his cheek and slightly kissing him right were his small tattoo was. The Glaive almost felt his heart explode in pure joy but totally froze when he heard she saying: “Once we arrive in Tenebrae, I’ll be safe. I won’t need a bodyguard anymore. We should go separate paths. I’m sorry.”

And then, she abandoned his arms and ran away.


Nyx was so shocked he couldn’t move until Dino came, clearly worried by the scene he just watched.

“Whoa, buddy, what the hell happened? Not even the girls I flirt with run away like that! How did you screw up such a perfect opportunity?”

Nyx wasn’t even able to answer. He was just trying to realize the real sense of what Luna just told him, but actually there was no sense at all. He just couldn’t believe at what he heard. Being safe in Tenebrae? No needing a bodyguard anymore? Getting separate? Three sentences hurt him like a stone squashing on his heart, destroying his expectations, mortifying his pride. Nyx mentally knew she never needed him, but in fact, all he hoped was to prove himself worthy of protecting her and cherish her even if he was just a mere immigrant Glaive, with no title and no magic to make him special.

"Hey big guy, are you listening to me? The suite is already paid for the night, you better solve your problem because I’m not getting that refund back.”

Nyx stared blankly at the man before him, thinking about the details he didn’t notice before: the princess’s sad eyes as he watched him, the soft kiss on the cheek which felt like a goodbye.

“Hello! Could you please act like a man and run after her?” Dino screamed in the end, cupping the hands on his mouth like he was using a amplifier. Nyx caught a deep breath and finally straightened up. “Good boy! Now go! Go!” 

And Nyx did so. He turned on his heels and followed the Princess down the bridge, until his feet met the white sand. The full moon was ready to illuminate his path, like it was giving him a sort of blessing.


Luna took her sandals off, walking fast in the sea to scroll away the tension and the sadness. The water was warm also at that time of the night, sparkling under the shining moon and the air was so restoring she already felt better. That until she heard him calling her name. “Princess!” She turned around, feeling tears wetting her eyes. 

“Go away!” and quickened her pace.

Nyx took really a short while to reach for her, entering in the water like he didn’t care of getting his boots soaking wet. “The hell I will!” He was pretty upset, she could tell only by the sound of his voice. When she saw his face though, Luna realized he was deeply mortified, too. “Have you lost your mind? What crazy idea did you come up with this time? Going on with the journey alone?”

She hadn’t the courage to talk to his face so she turned around a bit and looked down. “Nyx, you just can’t be my bodyguard forever, it’s too…” 

“Embarrassing? Inappropriate? Dangerous?” 

"Complicated.”

Nyx opened his mouth, closed it again, squeezed the eyes and pointed at the restaurant at his back. “So that’s the professionalism you were talking about just a couple of minutes ago? Wow, the coherence!”

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for both of us and for the rest of the world as well!” Her voice raised in the air a bit more, in a tone of frustrated sadness which was not usual to her.

“I don’t care about me and I don’t care about the world either, because I made a promise to my king to see you safe to Altissia and that I will, even if I’ll have to follow you around against your will.”

“Well, technically, your king isn’t Regis anymore so speaking about duties to the Crown, I’m certain Noctis would be enchanted to know how far you are ready to go just to ‘protect’ me!”

Nyx wide opened his eyes, in a very comical expression: “Excuse me? Are you trying to blame me for doing my job?” He got closer, leaning down on her to see her face in the darkness but she tried to step back, giving up when she noticed she couldn’t hide anymore.

She raised her hand and closed her eyes. “That’s not what I wanted to–!” 

"YOU’RE the one having dirty dreams about ME and now I’M the one going too far!” 

“Yes, having that dream was my fault but you certainly didn’t help me, with all your teasing and at the same time, being… kind!” She was so desperate she was getting ridiculous, causing Nyx to be even more confused. 

“Are you saying I was wrong being nice to you?” 

“No!” 

“Then I don’t get the point you’re driving at.”

“My point is that I can’t control myself when you are around and this not only scares me but it’s wrong!” she blurted out in the end. “The more I want to be professional, the more I end up closer to you and this can’t lead to anything good. I can’t have it, Nyx. I just can’t. For so many reasons I can’t even start to explain!”

Nyx waited for her to finish the sentence with the mouth open in surprise, then he slowly shook his head and lowered his voice, even if he was still strongly upset when he answered: 

“Listen, Princess. We don’t know each other for long, but I dare to say I understood a lot about you, more than you think. And you know what impression you made to me?” He looked her straight in the eyes, with a burning resolution, “You’re a frustrated woman.” Luna tried to reply but he cut her down with a light move of the hand. “Don’t even try to deny it! You’re a frustrated woman. You sold your body and soul to an important cause, and even though this is admirable, you now discover that beyond the façade of the ‘holy Oracle who will save the world with her merciful deeds’ you are just a normal girl which is scared by Kenny Crow and likes to listen to all kind of music on the radio! You love life, even if you’re ready to sacrifice it to appear like the most flawless being of all time and you inspire people. I’m not surprised that with all the people in the world you’re attracted by me - a common immigrant who joined the Kingsglaive as a sign of gratitude for the person who helped him - because for the first time in forever, with me you can do what you really want and not what other people tell you to do. With me you can be yourself and not what other people expect you to be!” 

He marked every word with a tenacious gesture and looked at her, talking with his heart in his sleeve. He was so brutally honest, so perfectly sincere, Luna couldn’t help but feel touched. Nobody ever talked to her like that. 

"Nyx, I–“ 

"I’ve not finished, because I want you to know that I know you hide things from me, which probably means I don’t have the whole picture of the situation. But one thing is clear, Princess: you-should-live-your-own-life!” At that point of the preach, he was warming up a bit too much, and almost screamed: “Why do you think you don’t deserve it? After being hostage of Niflheim for years, after being used as a bait in Insomnia’s fall, after being idolized by people, after all the fights you fought in secret, after being the only inspiration of Eos; why do you still think you don’t deserve to be selfish sometimes and do what the hell you want?” He took out of his shirt the necklace with the Ring of Lucis hung on it and showed it to her. “I accepted to take this for you only because I wanted to give you a break, for the Astrals’ sake! You should give the same opportunity to yourself, too!” 

After all that yelling, Luna was almost crying, swallowing down every word she wanted to say because it wouldn’t have make justice to the purity of heart Nyx let blow out in that very moment. 

For a minute, there was only silence, interrupted by the low crashing of the waves of the ocean. 

Then, Nyx sighed and turned around, moving away. 

Luna didn’t expected it and screamed in a broken voice, “W-where are you going now?”

“Where do you think? I’m going to sit on the sand, and watch over you, business as usual!” he answered, opening his arms, still very upset. “I told you I will never let you go!”

And so he did. He got out of the water, sat on the beach, trying to recuperate his composure. He took awhile, since he didn’t get so mad since he argued with Selena years before. Exactly like his little sister, Luna was stubborn and spoiled, but she was also more layered and complicated which made Nyx’s job of standing by her side very difficult.

He took a deep and frustrated breath and finally felt better. Looking at the distant figure of the Princess in the water also helped in the end, because if he could ignore the argument they just had, he should have admitted that it was the perfect picture, pure art. Everything of her was perfect: the way she looked at the moon in the distance with a thoughtful expression, the shape of her slender body, the way she let her hair down on her shoulders and turned in his direction. 

Nyx swallowed hard.

All the imperfections he - and probably only he - noticed made her so real and so perfect, and such a perfection only hurt him more in the end, knowing she was not something that would have ever been under his reach. Yet, she slowly came out of the water, beautiful under the moonlight like the goddess she used to represent.

Nyx watched her without saying a word, he totally fell under her spell. “Can I sit by you?” she asked after awhile. She was calm now, and even a bit sad. Nyx couldn’t tell if he nodded in response or what, but Luna sat down next to him anyway. Her breath was regular, barely audible because of the waves of the sea and so was his.

“About what you just said…” Luna started, “Every single word was a knife in the stomach but… I fear you are right. Yes. I think I really fear it.”

Nyx couldn’t say a word, her profile was just so ethereal to watch, he was captured by her words and couldn’t react. “My duty is my destiny, Nyx. I held on to this my whole life and I just… can’t imagine myself without it. Not only this, but people are depending on me. Helping Noctis and supporting him during in his ascension means giving hope to the whole world and I can’t falter especially now. Knowing all this forged my existence. You’re telling me to live my own life and do whatever I want but… I just can’t. I never actually could.”

Nyx turned around on the sand, casually touching her side with his knee. “But it’s not right. You know that, don’t you?” he asked, lowering his voice to let her know his concern. “You deserve to be happy.”

She looked at him, allowing herself to admire details she never really observed, like the form of his little tattoos, the scars underneath the beard, the braids in his hair, the changing color of his eyes under the moonlight. Suddenly, all those details were so dear to her, because they were part of him. 

“Happiness comes in different forms and perhaps mine is in fulfilling my destiny.”

“This is ridiculous…” he murmured, leaning a bit. They were so close now, she could almost hear his heart beating. He had fire in his eyes when he added: “I think you’re smart enough to know what makes you happy.” 

Luna felt her heart sunk, her arms going limp, and whole body go weak. Nobody ever gave her so much credit, so much space, or so much freedom. 

Surprising herself, she reached for his hand, entwining her fingers in his, looking for warmth. She didn’t care if his skin was rough or if his grip was too strong. She just wanted him again closer and closer, exactly like in the dream which tormented her for two days already. And his body was there in front of her, ready to surrender. If she only would have let him…

“Are you saying all this just because you want to take advantage of me?” she asked instead.

Nyx didn’t even get mad for the insinuation this time, he was just too enchanted by the rare occasions she was cheeky towards him. “No” he answered, very seriously. “If I wanted to take advantage of you, I wouldn’t have get angry when you asked me to leave you without protection, nor I wouldn’t have accepted to see you to Altissia where you’re gonna marry another man.” He raised a hand, caressing her cheek with a surreal gentleness. “…And maybe I wouldn’t have invited you to dance with me and gone off with the brunette who watched me the whole evening.”

That surprised her. “There was a woman watching you?” 

Nyx smiled and with that smile he didn’t caressed her cheek: he caressed her heart.

“Remember what King Regis said to you before he died? He wanted you to live happily. And as long as there’s life in me, I will work to make his last wish to come true. Even though it’s not gonna be with me, even though this would damage me, I want you to live happily, Princess. If this doesn’t prove I’m not trying to take advantage of you, I don’t–”

“It’s enough to me.” Luna swallowed, clutching the grip on his shirt: “I’m sorry, I was asking because my whole life men looked at me like that, they used me, they forced me into–”

“It’s okay.” Nyx shushed her, moving the thumb on her lips, while his whole hand was still cupping her cheek. “I didn’t ask for your reasons.” And then he stared at her lips, letting the desire grow stronger. She noticed.

“This is not good. In the end, I will be the one taking advantage of you.”

“Fine with it …” He sighed, too distracted to pay any heed to the warning.

"Let’s enjoy the moment?”

“Let’s enjoy the moment” he agreed.

Luna closed her eyes and opened her mouth, feeling him putting an arm around her waist to pull her closer. They had to move on the sand until they found the right position, but this didn’t stopped them. She touched his biceps, tracing a line to his neck, holding on to it like it was an anchor in the ocean of her bursting feelings. She longed for the kiss she thought would come, but immediately realized when he backed up from it. She opened her eyes and looked at his yearning look, wandering what made him to hesitate now.

“Ask me,” he begged. “I won’t do anything if you don’t ask me.”

Luna’s eyes got wet. “Nyx…” She tightened the grip around his neck and got so close until their lips touched. His breath was smelling like the cocktail Coctura served them before. 

“I just want it to be your choice, Princess.”

“It is. Kiss me.” 

She didn’t have to repeat it twice. He immediately rushed his nose against her cheek, kissing her opened lips, lingering on it to feel the flavor and the warmth. It tasted like liberation, like they both finally broke down the dam holding back their bursting feelings. Being that her first kiss, Luna didn’t even know how to handle things, so she let him take control, focusing on what she was receiving instead and enjoying every single instant of it. Nyx couldn’t ask for better. Even though he never allowed himself to indulge on that thought, he instinctively knew how to set his Princess on fire. He bit her down lip, and then the upper one and then he kissed her deeply, stealing her breath. Luna had to shrink back a moment to catch some air but he immediately pulled her closer again, forcing the princess to gasp in his mouth. She didn’t dare to escape ever again.

Nyx putted his fingers through her hair, guiding her moves. Then his hands slipped down on her neck, on her breast, until they reached her hips, where they stopped. 
He gently pushed her down on the beach and after watching her for a second - her golden hair loose on the sand, the innocent expression confused by her first effusion of affection and yet, the big blue eyes eager for him - he leaned down on her and kissed her lips again, this time with more tenderness, knowing she deserved it. The most beautiful flower of all Eos was in his hands and he needed to take care of it.

Luna putted a hand on his chest, exploring his shape, experimenting new sensations, looking for his natural warmth and then stopped when she heard his heart beating. She immediately understood that would always been her favorite sound from now on. 

They didn’t stop for a long while, not even caring if someone saw them or if the temperature was getting lower. 

They took all the time they need to learn to know each other’s lips, each other’s movements and breathing. Luna didn’t feel like rushing. If kissing a man for the first time meant feeling what she was feeling right now, she wanted to learn and understand every detail of it and she wasn’t ready to halt. Not now, at least. She let him take the lead and followed his instructions. It felt better than she expected.

In the end, it was Nyx the one who decided to stop, when he started to feel the urge to explore her body and give in to basic instincts. It took all the restraint he could muster to pull away.

“Princess,” he whispered, kissing her cheek and then her ear. She shivered deeply and hold on his back, instinctively sinking her nails in his shirt. He smiled and didn’t complain, because even that hurt was pleasure if it came from her. “It’s better if I stop now.” 

She sighed and opened her eyes to look straight at him. She found a sweet note on his face, like he was completely satisfied by how that conversation ended and not just that. Like he was proud of her. “… W-why?”

He raised himself up on one elbow, and looked for something in his pocket. Doing so, he had to distance him a bit and Luna already missed having him on her.
In the end, Nyx took out the key Dino previously gave him and put it under the moonlight. 

Luna wide opened her eyes and started to stutter: “Nyx, w-wait, I–”

Nyx bit his lip and then started laughing.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face!” he said, his beautiful large smile shining only for her. “Relax. It’s not what you think it is. Or better, it is, but I’m not even gonna enter in the room where you will sleep tonight, otherwise I would totally ‘take advantage of you’. I know, big contradiction to what I said a couple minutes ago.”

Luna sighed in relief but at the same time she rested her hands on his chest. She didn’t want to let him go. “And where will you sleep?”

“I’ll pay for another room. Or in the car.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Luna caressed his face, feeling his beard brushing against her fingertips. They were looking in the eyes like it was the last time and Luna couldn’t help but ask: “Just… another kiss before I go?” 

That was a request he would have always accepted. Fearing that it was their last moment of intimacy and that next day Luna would have regretted letting her walls down, Nyx kissed her again passionately and it was his deep devotion that she felt safe between his arms unlike any she never was anywhere else.

Whatever it would have come next, it wouldn’t have change what they felt that night. It was wrong, it was useless, it was not fair, yet, it was theirs and only theirs. And they enjoyed every second of it.

Dance with devils, vol.4 Natsumezaka Shiki.

Finally I did it! It’s a hard time for me at the school now, so it took me forever.

This tracks were provided by @violet-sin. Thanks to her I heard Shiki’s sweet voice again~

Yet I want to say sorry. I translated 5 and 6 tracks while having a temperature. The 5 is fine but 6 I need to search for mistakes. I hope it will be readable.

Track 1. The miracle in it’s bad display

How was this tea? Good? *you nod* Is that so? I’m very glad to hear it. I finally understood how to make tea. But it’s still a new feeling to me, because it’s different from the time when I was fallen angel. I getting shocked everytime while trying human food. I have The same body as a human, the same ability (means he has no ability like an ordinary human), the same life, the same heart. Everyday is full of happiness because I got to love you. I lived alone, without a place I can call “home”. Yet now I live with you at the same place. I don’t have wings to fly to the sky nor the devil’s power, but I’m happy that I chose to live with you. Haha, it’s good that you have the same feeling as I do. I really became a human, right. I chose the path where we can walk together. But…Hey, if I didn’t become human, what would you do? If I would be like the fallen angel, breaking everything, making you suffer, even this me…would you loved me like this too? *nod* Really? I could have broken you. In the most terrifying way. Even like that? No, I just wanted to ask. It’s late now. You have to go to sleep. I’ll wash the tea set. Yeah, go ahead. I’ll have a little walk outside. Yes, Good night.

3:29

The wind feels good. But it can’t brighten my mood up. Even though I’m so happy… I wonder why. Something deep inside my chest is not right. I don’t have to worry about anything. Why? Ha… The God after this clouds probably knows the answer? Hey, why am I feeling so uneasy? What will calm this feeling down?…just joking. There is no way I could hear an answer. *ding* Hm? The sky is lighting up! Ha? This is…!

5:10

*Shiki comes closer to you while you’re sleeping*

(A.N. I think I need to say that in the previous dialogs his voice was sweet and caring. In this it’s his usual voice)

Hey, wake up! It’s morning. If you won’t wake up, should I strangle you? *instant wake up* Uh, it’s such a pity that you woke up… Hey, I wanted to see your face when you run out of the oxygen. Mm? Your lips are parted. It seems that you have something to say. I can see fear and confusion in your eyes. It makes me excited! Last night didn’t you notice? Dazzling bright light had fallen. I was taken with this light. And when I opened my eyes, my state had returned. Yes, my wings and magic didn’t come back, but you’re right. I returned to the self I was before. It’s goood, your desperate voice in the morning… So good! Hey, can I break you? Don’t worry, I’ll break you very gently. You’re my precious lover after all. Hm, I can’t? That’s a problem. It’s the display of my love~ It will be bad if you don’t accept it. Not you, but me… Are you interested? It became interesting. When I was swept away by the light, I heard a voice. “It’s your curse”. Yes, it’s all God’s doing. It’s the curse when if I won’t be loved, I die. In other words, if you love me, I will live. So no matter what happens, no matter what I will do to you, love me properly. If you won’t do it, I’ll die~ Right?

Track 2. Interesting afterschool time

I was excited because of the curse, but nothing happened since yesterday. Eeh? This is soooo boring. Instead of turning down the curse let’s enjoy our current situation. Ahh, I wonder how the curse feels. Is it so painful that I can’t breath? Or is it a pain like my body being cut? Just imagining that makes me excited! Yet it’s kinda disappointing that nothing changed. It’s so boring to wait… If here was Lowen (Roen) I could have tainted him~ It could be so fun to hear his desperate voice~ Aah, making fun of Mage and being hit by him after must me pleasant too~ Oh, I know! In my current state the holy water can harm me! Maybe I should try and make your older brother angry~? Hm, “I can’t do it”? But making fun of your brother is so interesting~ Well, I think it’s better to do something more interesting. Your lesson is starting soon, right? So, see you after it then~ *walks away*

1:56

Ahh~ You came! You knew that I will be in the Art club’s room. Yes, I was drawing this painting all morning. Artist club has no lessons today, so I was here alone. Come here, I’ll show you my piece~ This is the painting I have drawn. It’s the self-portrait. Fufu, it’s not bad being praised~ I think I draw it good too. Especially this black wings! I like them~ But…it’s not finished yet. Now I can finish it! *takes out knife* My past self had returned and the scratching in my chest can’t disappear. I want to break something, I want to be broken, I can’t do anything about it! Only with this feeling I drew this painting. I’ll finish this painting by cutting it with this knife! *you stopped him* Oooh? You’re stopping me now? But you might be surprised seeing me cutting this painting~ Haaaa~ I was scolded~ It seems that you can’t love my this self? I knew it… *tu-dam in Shiki’s chest* Grhh! *falls down* Haa…ha… Hahaha… So this is the curse, huh? The curse is activated, it’s like my insides are being taken out. It’s so painful that I can’t breath~ Ha..ha.. Your pale face is so good~ I’m enjoying my situation in which I don’t know if I would live or die…This is the best thing ever! What? You want to save me? Then I want you to finish this painting instead of me, because if you will love me, the curse calm down. You’ll help me, right? Ha…ha… Huh? What? I wanted you to cut this canvas… And you are going to draw… Well, this is for the best. Your back while you’re drawing isn’t bad… Moreover, here, if I do this we can draw together. I will hold your hand, let’s draw together like this. Ha… Don’t be embarrassed. Just by touching your hand I can feel the pain inside me calming down. Let me cuddle you like this. *he is hugging you* Haha, even your ears are red now. Good color~ Oh, right! Color me in the painting red too. It’s okay~ It’s a pleasure for me to be broken by you. You have been resisting for a long time already. Finally my pain gone but you want me to struggle again? Hm…Then I’ll leave it to you. Draw a thing that I will love. Of course I can hug you until you’re finished, right? No, I won’t let you go. Here, you better move your hands~ *you start drawing* Heee~ You use gentle color~ It doesn’t suite me at all. But… This is you love’s color. Fufu, not bad~ Hm? What’s up? You can’t stop drawing despite what I’m doing to you. *kissed your ear* Haa, cute voice! You can’t run away from me. You’re poor thing, but you’re so cute~ Even you’re neck is red now. Hey, show me your face. You’re eyes are wet~ I’ll comfort you. *kissed your eye* You are exciting me when you are embarrassed. Just looking in your eyes makes my chest burn. I don’t care about the painting anymore, I just want to break YOU now~ He? You already finished? What a pity. Hm? This is… You gave a bouquet of light flowers to the black fallen angel. It’s in your habit. Well, it’s good. It looks like the curse is down~ Yes~ I guess it’s because your embarrassed self helped me. Is that so? When the curse is killing me, the best way to take it down is to see you all red! I see~ This is going to be interesting. Help me next time, okay? Fufu~

Track 3. Blinded on the street

We bought goods for the house, so now our shopping is over. You’re not leaving my side even on the weekend. You’re so worried about me getting into the troubles? Is that so~ I’m so happy to always have you by my side~ Bu~ut I can’t help but wonder now… What will happen if I disappear from your sight? Will you desperately search for me? Running all over the town, struggling for air, eyes wet~ It can be good, too. Fufu, scary face~ I won’t do anything strange, don’t worry. But, there is no point in blaming only me. If i won’t feel your love, I die. You’ll prove that you love me, right? Hmmm, what shall I do? Yees, well, first of all….

2:05

Ahh, you’ve done changing? It suits you so much! This cat’s ears and a tail. This shop is inserting, right. There even were devil’s wings, do you want to try it on? Why, you ask? That’s obvious, isn’t it? I want to enjoy myself by looking at your embarrassed face. They fit you so well. Let’s walk like this through the city~ Ah, there’s even a chain! Should I wear it on your neck? Fufu~ You’re resisting.

3:05

Here, say “Aaah” Hm, you won’t eat? I bought this huge parfait, you must it it~ I can’t eat it alone. Unfortunately everything became as it was before. I don’t think human’s food tasty anymore, so only you can eat it. Moreover, you can feel love through it, right? Here, make your choice. Aaah~ Fufu, your cheeks are red. If you eat it all, what happens?

4:20

Ah~ It was fun! Are you tired? You look exhausted. Fufu~ You don’t have to push yourself. You really care about me, huh… *hugs you* It’s okay. Even if someone looking at us, feeling others attention is so pleasant. Hey, kiss me now. Mm, it’s not hard. You should just kiss me. I suddenly didn’t feel your love. What happened? Why did you stop? We are lovers, you don’t have to hold back. Well, in this situation you’re so embarrassed that you can’t do it, huh. *tu-dam in Shiki’s chest* Grh! Again! Again my body is being cut inside! Hhufgt! Ha.. You don’t have to worry. It’s just I don’t have much of your love. But I will die at this rate… Huh? You finally decided? Even though it would be better to just dump me… Do you really kiss me? Fufu~ You’re red. Your body is trembling. Is it so embarrassing? Grh… Just looking at you makes me feel good. You should do it faster, in that case, it won’t bother you so much. Staying like this makes other people look at us suspiciously. *you kiss him* Ha.. You did a good job. It seems that thanks to that I feel much better than before. But it’s not enough. You don’t have to move, just let me do what I want. No, don’t push me away. I can lose my life in that case. Stay still. You’re cheeks are hot. Your neck too, ears are hot too. At this rate other people will not understand us, so I can steal some of your warm. *kissed your cheek* Here too *kissed your ear* Fufu~ Probably it was the opposite~ We’re dating so it’s nothing strange. Moreover, isn’t it yours bad for ignoring me? Ha…This disgraced face makes me so excited! And, even now you aren’t leaving me, huh. Mm? Yes, the curse calmed down. The power of love surely is something. What? You’re feeling down? I got everything what I wanted from you, so we can now head back home. Hm? Who are you? Do you want something from us? Ah, I see. These men saw us all lovey-dovey with each other and now they are angry~ Stalking others is not good~ *someone hit the wall* Wow, fufu~ it’s not a good use for you legs~ Hit wall, you poor thing~ So, if you want to hit something, I want you to hit me~ * Shiki no!* Buut I will receive a punch in the human form for the first time! What will happen to me? Ha.. Just thinking about it makes me excited! Will it leave a scar like the holy water did? Or I will be tied up, hit by others, cut by them~ Everything is good! *men are scared* Oh, what happened? Where are you going? Don’t leave, do it! You’re pissed of me, right? Here, hit me! Make me feel pain with all your strength! Come! Come!! *men scared af and running away* What? They ran away with pale faces… I thought they would do something bad to me. Kinda disappointing. Mm? What happened? Why are you sitting on the ground? If you are so tired, should I carry you? Don’t hold out~ Fufu~            

Track 4. I can’t be saved by my savior

Today you are hanging out with me again~ No matter where I go, I can spot you. But you’re tired of doing it everyday, right? Didn’t you get tired of me already? You’re strange. I’m making you do things you don’t want to, but even so you don’t leave my side. Yes, if the curse win, I loose my life~ Only your love can save me. But even so, don’t you want to dump and leave me? Is that so… As I thought you are strange because even now you love me.

1:30

Grhh! *you run to help him* Huuuh! Ha…ha.. It’s..you.. As always your head is good. You quickly understood that I’m in the Art club’s room. Ha…ha… Your breath is unstable.. Don’t tell me you were afraid of not seeing me beside you and ran through the city to find me.. Haha… I’m glad you came. It was my fault. I didn’t expect the curse to be activated here. Hey, come closer. Let me hug you. *hugs you* Ha…ha…It became less painful. You don’t have to do anything now. Just stay like this for a while. Haha, don’t be so surprised. I receive your love in this situation as well. Ha… Your embarrassed face and wet eyes are good, but now I’m not in the right mood. I didn’t think that you would come. I didn’t disappear on purpose. I just didn’t know that I would be taken down by the curse. I couldn’t breath, it was painful. All I though was “I will die soon” Alone, in the big Art club’s room, my strength would leave me… Yeah, you came. You always with me, but.. Hey, I’m so happy that you came..the pain in ,y chest…I wonder why it still there. Even before the curse I couldn’t clear my feelings. Even though I’m loved so much, as much I’m feeling the happiness, the anxiety inside is growing up. The more you do for me, the more I’m drowning in this feeling. What have I done? I’m fine now. Pain is gone. It’s okay now. Hm…I’m sorry I just disappeared. I wanted to see this painting so bad. The face of this fallen angel I drew, we saw it together, right. Back then when I was fallen angel I drew here often. When I reborn as a human I didn’t see it. But I wanted to. Angles with pure white wings..and only one drawing, fallen angel. An angel with black wings. With no place for him, not being loved from anybody, but someone who loved that fallen angel appeared. She gave his black wings light colors, she was kind. It was a lucky day for him. It’s right, but… Ha.. Hey, let’s go on a date? There is a place I want to visit with you. Will you come with me?

Track 5. I’m begging for separation

The wind is strong~ It’s so hard to walk in darkness. We can fall from here if we don’t be careful~ It’s a good date place, isn’t it? The tip outside the Tokyo Tower~ Usually it’s very dangerous to go outside, but yet I opened it~ Don’t be so scared, I won’t be able to hold myself. And the true entertainment begins now~ Let’s feel the thrill together. There is no any fence, so if you don’t balance it will be your end. Haha~ It’s only starting~ Hey, it’s so cool! The car’s lights are like bean pies! (A.N. Not quite sure what he said) If I do one more step backwards, I die. Let’s try? You come here too. What happened? This is our date, so it’s not interesting If we don’t do it together. Come here to me~ Plus, if you push me… *pain in his chest again* Grh! Look, it began. I can feel the pain of the curse. No, don’t hurry, you might fall. Come here carefully. *you do* Yes, good girl. Here, let me hug you. Hey, it became okay as I touched you. Your heart is racing. I can understand it, cause if you miss your step, we will die. Your body is trembling too. Fufu~ My chest is becoming warm. Even in this situation you’re trying for my sake. Hey, let’s fall together like this? But don’t you think it will be the best thrill you can ever experience? It’s the thing I couldn’t try when I had my wings. *wind blows* Haha, but we can’t stay still because of the strong wind. My foot can slip~ Fufu~ Your trembling became worse. Poor thing~ Its because you followed someone like me. Do you regret your choice? I love your restraining self, but you can’t lie to your true self. It doesn’t matter what humans say, their hearts are what matters. I know because I saw it when I was fallen angel. It’s alright. If you can’t stand me, you can tell me. Moreover, it would be very pleasant. You really are stubborn. Making fun of you, making you do things you don’t want to, you don’t leave me. You’re very kind. But you know, this is the reason I’m getting scared. Loving someone is really scary. When I think about the time I lose you, I become irritated. I love feeling thrilled, but this one is terrifying, painful, it’s becoming painful to live. No matter how you loved me, the irritation in my heart didn’t calm down. So that night I called God. “Why can’t I get rid of my anxiety?” Of course, I wasn’t waiting for an answer. But my voice reached the sky. And then I was swiped away. In that bright light was a voice “Why don’t you test it?” Until you believe in love, I will test you. But I did my bad testing you. My punishment for that I will accept it, if it is the rules. So I returned to when I was fallen angel. Didn’t know what love is, the form, when I didn’t know anything other than breaking things. If in my that state I believe in your feelings, I thought that this anxiety will disappear. Yes, that’s right. The curse was a lie. I just receiving a punishment for testing you. The pain that cut my whole body. Me in the past would be happy to receive it, but deep in my heart I can’t enjoy this. The happiness and anxiety from being loved, because of them making me suffer. No matter how I test, no matter how you accept me, the anxiety isn’t gone. But, since you have appeared in the Art’s club room I thought that I want to test you one more time. Last thing I want to try. *hold you closer* Hey, this is the last wish. Will you fall with me? Hm, I see. It’s okay. I thought you will reject it. No, I wanted you to reject it. I wanted you to reject it. (A.N. Sentences are close in their meaning) Why, I wonder. It could have been better to accept it. Thinking of being hated. I understand. I’m not hated. You rejected it, because you wanted me to live. I know. I knew it. You are strange and too kind. Only you are caring for someone like me. But, I’m sorry, because I tested you with such a cruel thing like death. *he came to the edge* I need to receive my punishment. *thunder in the background* The sky’s judgement. *something hit Shiki* Aaaargh! Ha.. *was about to fall dawn but you hold his hand* I thought that I would fell like this. No, let my hand go. *Shiki no* At this rate you too will fall. Haaa, in this situation who the hell will say “I won’t let you go even if I fall with you”. I’m so sorry for being happy in this situation. I always was scared, when I supposed to be happy, that someday you will leave me. When I thought about it, I became so scared. So I thought it would be better to become hated by you. You have never left me. Why? Was it so hard to believe? Hah? This is the human? I see… If you are human, it’s an obvious thing. This is an evidence that I lived as a human. *strong wind blows* Aaarg! No! This wind… Let my hand go! You will fall with me! Aaarg! *you are falling together* Hold on to me! I won’t let you go, I promise. God, I understand now, this girl loves me. She is by my side no matter what happened. I believe now! There is no meaning in testing her! So, so save her, please! *The curse will disappear now* Hah? This light? Eh? Wings? I fly now… Hah, hold me tighter. *they are on the ground and his wings disappeared* Hah… Disappeared… Were we save? Is that so.. We are save! *hugs you* I’m very glad. I’m glad I didn’t hurt you. I’m sorry for dragging you in this. I’m sorry for doubting your feelings. Yes, thank you. This light and white wings… We were saved by God. I’m not scared anymore. This anxiety in me is gone now. I felt bad when I loved you and you loved me back. But this is living like a human, right? And I believe that you loved me always. Yes, me too, I will never leave you. I won’t doubt you. I’m going to love you always. Sorry for doing this to you and thank you. 

Track 6 is coming tomorrow.

I hope you will enjoy it ><

anonymous asked:

Have you done a BTS bodyguard!au? IF not, can you? Thanks mom!

vixx ver (here) / hiphop unit (here) / vocal unit (here) / perf. unit (here)

Namjoon

  • mumbles into the earpiece mic and everyone’s like what is he saying ,,, what is he talking about ??? (he’s actually reading outloud to himself and doesn’t even notice)
  • looks intimidating because of his sharp features but honestly…..cried during 101 dalmatians so like 
  • choice of weapon is …. trying to negotiate tbh he isn’t one for violence at all
  • like he’s so tall and lanky sometimes you’re worried he’ll get knocked over by the wind so every now and then you’ll hold his forearm or wrist and he’ll be like ???? o///o what are you doing ??/
  • and you’re just like “making sure you’re stable”
  • tries to keep the more rowdy and headstrong bodyguards under control (cough taehyung cough jungkook) but it never works
  • you catch him reading while he’s waiting for you outside of a meeting and you sit down and lean your head on his shoulder like ‘ooo what book’ and bodyguard namjoon almost actually tips over because he’s shy hehe

Yoongi

  • head of the bodyguards, as in he’s the one that gives the orders 
  • extremely observant and calculating - has a formation planned and three different means of attack prepared whenever you’re going to event
  • tbh you’re like ,,,,isn’t that a bit Much but yoongi’s top priority is your safety and if you get as much as a scratch on you he will literally fall into a depression and blame himself
  • you find out from bodyguard jungkook that yoongi actually has the cutest sneeze ever and that he’s actually kinda soft. his background photo on his phone is a pic of his dog min holly
  • and you think that’s cute because when you look over at yoongi he looks all business. serious in his suit, talking into his earpiece and giving directions to others
  • but while you’re getting lunch and he’s walking at your side keeping a look out you casually ask him how his dog is doing
  • and cold, ice leader yoongi gets a little flustered because 
  • oh,,,,you know???
  • and you’re like “i heard from jungkook the puppies cute, can i see them?”
  • yoongi handing his phone over to you with a blush like,,,,um,,,they are cute
  • and you’re like hehe and you put the phone up next to yoongi’s cheek and you’re like 
  • “just as cute as his owner”
  • and yoongi might just need to excuse himself to hide his face in his hands

Jin

  • is he your bodyguard? is he your babysitter? is he basically worried about you like a mom? yes to all three 
  • but seriously some of the other guards are like jin, calm down they’re a grown adult they can take care of themselves - but jin is hunched over you like “did you eat breakfast? the guard on morning duty told me you skipped it but you promised me you wouldn’t-”
  • he’s able to talk with you casually because all his conversations center on him asking about your well being
  • once even pushed his forehead against yours to tell if you had a fever
  • and bodyguard namjoon was going to pull him back but you waved your hand 
  • because one) you might actually have a fever and two) holy hell jin is so handsome up close even more handsome than normal,,,,,
  • made you dinner once and brought it over with him
  • and when some guard told him to take it home, you wouldn’t eat that trash you fired that guard on the spot and proceeded to eat everything jin brought over
  • once jin got sick and had to call off the day for work, so you canceled all your plans, made your way over to his house with some soup
  • and when he tried to protest that you know he’s the bodyguard blah blah blah you like put your finger over his lips and were like
  • ‘id kiss u to shut u up for a moment, but you’re sick so lay down’

Hoseok

  • the moodmaker of the guards and is the only one who can make even stoic leader yoongi laugh 
  • tries to see the best in people but if they turn out to be scum he has no problem high-kicking them into the trash can
  • used to be a dancer but started training in martial arts instead, doesn’t carry a gun even though everyone insists he should
  • “if i can’t solve the problem with a smile, my body will be the necessary shield”
  • hoseok is polite around you though, yoongi told him that no matter what he needed to keep his energy down when addressing you
  • so it kinda made you assume hoseok didn’t quite like you, but that’s not true he’s literally always holding back the urge to grin at you or ruffle your hair
  • and one day when he’s assigned to sit beside you on a long flight you ask him a bit about his life and whatnot and you can see him fidgeting and being tense
  • and so you get sullen and kinda hide in your blanket and hoseok is like what’s wrong??? and you’re like hoseok,,,,am i a mean boss?? is there something wrong
  • and hoseok is like whAT NO i LOVE YOU- i mean oh god…..oh god….i mean i love…..you….as my BOSS……
  • and it’s cute you’re like,,,,really?? you don’t hate me or find me awkward
  • and hoseok’s expression is complete shock he’s like hate??? no???? i just,,, i want to be careful and polite to show you im serious about being your shield,,,,
  • granted the next five hours you two spend sharing headphones and watching cartoon movie on the plane heeehu

Jimin

  • is the kid who thought bodyguards were cool in the movies and that’s why he choose to become one 
  • it might have to also do w the fact that while he was in training some jerk was like ‘you’re too small…no one will hire you’ and jimin was like hellbent on proving that ass wrong
  • compensates a lot with his good looks, like he’s the only bodyguard that checks his reflection out in all surfaces (even more than jin)
  • but like can you blame him he’s been voted ‘best hair on the squad’ for like 2 years in a row
  • everyone you work with that has their own guards is always asking you where you found jimin like what company he works for and if he’s willing to switch,,,,,,over for more money
  • and once you even witnessed a colleague of yours tell jimin that she’d pay him twice what you were paying him
  • and you were like oh he’d be silly not to take that,,,
  • but jimin just smiled, bowed and shook his head and was like “im not really in it for the money. the person i protect, they ….are holding my heart - if not to be cheesy and put it that way ^^’
  • when jimin turned and saw you he was like fRICK DID you HEAR ME
  • and you just giggled and put your hand over his lapel and were like
  • “im glad i hold a place in your heart, you hold one in mine too”
  • and you and jimin are cheesy but it’s adorable and yoongi in the back is like PARK GET BACK TO WORK but u guys have this moment 

Taehyung

  • got this job on accident….probably
  • like does he really know what his duties are? eh……debatable BUT does he like the fact that he could (possibly) get some bad guys with these nunchucks he bought back in college? yes he does like that fact
  • keeps trying to impress you with dangerous tricks like juggling knives or swinging the nunchucks around his waist
  • and when he hits himself in the eye you get up to help him but all the other guards are like “sit down!!! don’t worry!!!” and you’re like you guYS dont focus on me focus on taehyung who might get a bruise oh no it’s a black eye for sure-
  • wears his injuries with pride though like once there was this intense fight with this group of robbers and most of the guards involved stayed home the next day
  • but there taehyung was, with a bandaged head and an eyepatch and a puffy lip but there he was smiling at you the next morning
  • and somehow, probably unconsciously, you’ve become protective of him
  • and so when you guys are going somewhere crowded - the first hand you grab is taehyungs
  • and taehyung loves it when you stay close and he wraps an arm around your shoulder and holds you to his side
  • and it’s gotten to a point where even when there’s no present danger you and taehyung hold hands,,,,maybe eskimo kiss,,,,,maybe actually kiss,,,,,when yoongi isn’t looking,,,,,,,

Jungkook 

  • doesn’t like the uniform at all. wore sneakers instead of the mandated dress shoes and was scolded by yoongi for like half an hour
  • showed up the next day in timbalands and yoongi was like NOT BETTER JEON
  • keeps “forgetting” his blazer and tie in places
  • sometimes even slings his blazer around your shoulders to “keep you warm” but in reality you know it’s because he doesn’t want to wear it
  • chases anyone that looks suspicious and deviates from the plan and literally everyone is like jungkook PLEASE
  • but he’s like ‘im a lone wolf’ and you can only laugh because it’s endearing 
  • but also gets distracted by anything shiny or loud and like a kid, plays games on his phone when you’re all at a boring meeting
  • and yoongi is like pUT that away but you’re like psst jungkook what level in candy crush are you up to
  • you’re supposed to be doing important paperwork in your office but jungkook is teaching you how to play like league or starcraft and both you get scolded by jin
  • jungkook isn’t corny like the others he’s never like ‘im your shield’ or ‘you’re in my heart’ he’s literally more the type to high five you to show you affection
  • and it takes something like him finding you crying in fear when someone sends a threat out on your life that makes jungkook want to hold you in his arms forever and keep you safe
  • and he’s so gentle surprisingly, holding your face and kissing the tears away and you’re like,,,,,,,surprised
  • and jungkook is just like “ill….never leave you, im by your side for the rest of my life.”
  • we all succumb to the cheesy don’t we jungkook 
Behind the Walls (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Professor!Bucky X Reader

Words: 1,775

Warnings: None yet…except talk about school!

Summary: You are currently getting your PhD in Art History, your dissertation being about The Power of Nudity in Art. Your adviser recommends you switch from being her TA to another professor because she feels her health is declining and wants you to get the best help/advice from someone new. She recommends Dr. James Barnes and believes he will be of great help to you. Things don’t turn out as you plan.

A/N: This is born out of my “admiration” for Bucky’s character!!! I am also writing this because I have this fantasy that always involves the opposite individual being a Professor! I honestly don’t know why I get turned on by the “Professor” figure. Having said that, I am a Sapiosexual meaning I am attracted to intelligence, and since I am yet to meet an intelligent person, I think I am mostly attracted to professors (which is honestly not a healthy thing…believe me). For now, this will just be fluff and angst, but will definitely include smut in later chapters. A bit of a slow build. Professor!Bucky has a metal arm in this one because I am kinky as shit.
Also, picture was made by @0-ves-0
Art is amazing!!

Keep reading

2

The ABCs of Death 2

I figured I’d take a different tack with this one, considering it has such a large scope for an anthology film, and give my thoughts on each short separately, assigning it either a PASS or a FAIL. I did see the first one and was thoroughly underwhelmed, as there was an equal number of passes and fails; but hey, maybe this one will serve as a much-needed improvement. Honestly, the boring opening with the Suspiria rip-off stock-standard music didn’t do much to get me in the mood. But without further ado…

A is for Amateur

Directed by E.L. Katz

This tale about an amateur hitman trying to bump off what I guessed was an amatuer porn baron (which, if it is, great title parallel) has already set a pretty high bar. It’s slick, stylish, but most importantly ultimately very funny and creative. My first exposure to E.L. Katz’s work was Cheap Thrills which I wanted to like but it ultimately left me cold, so it’s nice to feel enthusiastic about this short here. It makes me excited for his upcoming Netflix movie that’s to be released this year.

PASS

B is for Beaver

Directed by Julian Barratt

I’m a sucker for the found-footage genre, and I found this short to be amusing for the most part. The whole trope of the narcissistic TV presenter who hounds his crew is done very well here. Personally, my only problem is really that it doesn’t hold up technically. The special effects are a bit hoaky and the sound mixing’s a bit iffy, which I wouldn’t call out except found-footage is a genre that tends to rely on some kind of artificial sense of realism. The punch-line at the end was a bit forced as well. Nevertheless, I still think it suceeds at what it sets out to do, as I did say it still managed to be amusing.

PASS

C is for Capital Punishment

Directed by Julian Gilbey

An interesting little short about a small town that enacts vigilante justice on a supposed child-killer. It’s well shot, well acted and the gore effects are nice and over-the-top. The ending was a bit so-so, being rather predictable, but that’s no reason to condemn the whole thing.

PASS

D is for Deloused

Directed by Robert Morgan

This one is so fucking surreal and unsettling that I love it. It’s everything a horror short should be. The art-style and animation evoked a Hellraiser by way of Dario Argento kind of vibe, featuring a colourful aesthetic and heaps of interesting creature design. The animated shorts always tend to stand out, with Lee Hardcastle’s T for Toilet being one of the best of the last movie, and this is no exception. It could literally be its own feature length film, and I would not be opposed to the idea at all.

PASS

E is for Equilibrium

Directed by Alejandro Brugues

Quirk and tone seems to be the name-of-the-game here, as two castaways find themselves at odds with each other when a beautiful woman washes ashore. The cinematography is fantastic, with some great camerawork and a clever use of colours to show the characters’ descent into madness. The ending is also very funny, and not what I expected at all.

PASS

F is for Falling

Directed by Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado

An israeli soldier has parachuted into a tree, only to be confronted by an Arab boy with a rifle. Honestly, this once just feels aimless. It’s well shot, but the tone is all over the place and it just ends up being really silly, not to mention that this is the first of the shorts where the bad acting really starts to show. It’s not an awful short, but it’s the first dip in quality.

FAIL

G is for Grandad

Directed by Jim Hoskings

Oh god, the acting in this. This short revolves around an old man and his grandson drinking by the fireplace. The actor playing the grandson is just… so bad… The whole thing has a Greasy Strangler vibe (mainly because Jim Hosking’s only feature is The Greasy Strangler), except it feels like it was written seconds before shooting started, because it’s just nonsense. There’s no point to it. It’s just shock for shock’s sake, which is ultimately how I ended up feeling about The Greasy Strangler, to be honest.

FAIL

H is for Head Games

Directed by Bill Plympton

This one’s obviously metaphorical, and if the not-so-subtle commentary on relationships and how both parties can destroy each other by playing the titular headgames doesn’t grab you, the animation style will, even if the short visibly struggles to fill its short running time.

PASS

I is for Invincible

Directed by Erik Matti

This felt like it was directed by Sam Raimi, with the over-the-top makeup effects and camera-angles. This segment, about a family trying to kill their demonically possessed grandmother to collect the inheritance was the kind of devilish fun I was hoping for from this movie. It’s got a lot of energy to it, thanks to a great cast, even if the lighting is a bit flat and the ending’s a little abrupt.

PASS

J is for Jesus

Directed by Dennison Ramalho

A father hires a private investigator to observe and kidnap his son for reasons that are both darkly comedic and bleak. This one’s really sold by a clever script and some decent acting. The cinematography’s a bit uninspired and the ending’s a bit predictable, but the story is solid and the short makes for an interesting watch overall.

PASS

K is for Knell

Directed by Kristina Buozyte and Bruno Samper

Beautifully shot and lit, employing a warm colour pallete, this short about a mysterious apparition in the sky causing the residents of an apartment building to go insane and kill each other is hypnotic and vivid. The sound design aids the suspenseful atmosphere, which is unfortunately let down somewhat by the hokay supernatural angle which ultimately doesn’t go anywhere. That said, on a purely technical level, this is definitely one of the best shorts.

PASS

L is for Legacy

Directed by Lancelot Imasuen

Some truly obnoxious editing really lets down what would otherwise be an interesting short about an african tribe and the scheming that occurs within, causing a beast to emerge. Not only do the constant cuts and whatnot make the story hard to follow, but they really do no favours to the aformentioned beast, which is clearly a bloke in a costume stomping around, causing people to turn into really bad photoshop effects. Once again, not a terrible short, but not exactly worth the watch either.

FAIL

M is for Masticate

Directed by Robert Boocheck

Gaining entry into the movie via the winning of a contest, this slow-mo horror show is hilarious, chronicling the journey of a madman on bath-salts as he tries to eat his way through a group of bystanders. My only beef with it is that I have a pet-peeve against obvious contact lenses, but that’s because I’m a prick. The short is still insanely well done.

PASS

N is for Nexus

Directed by Larry Fessenden

It’s Halloween, and some poor bloke is running late to meet his girlfriend. What transpires is a Rube Goldberg-esque sequence of events shot like a music-video. There’s not much to say about this one. You can pretty much guess how it’s going to play out, but the presentation is good enough that you won’t get bored watching it. Bonus points for the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it reference to You’re Next.

PASS

O is for Ochlocracy (Mob Rule)

Directed by Hajime Ohata

This is fucking brilliant. In the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse, the living dead, who’re capable of cohesive thought thanks to a new wonder-drug, mobilise and begin to put humans on trial in a courtroom where they sentence the survivors accordingly for their barbarism. It’s an interesting subversion on a seemingly tired genre that makes up for its lack of visual style by heaping on a large amount of wit and cleverness that always keeps you guessing. This feels like it should be a feature film. If I had the money, I would fund in a reanimated hearbeat (because I would have to have sold my kidneys).

PASS

P is for P-P-P-P Scary!

Directed by Todd Rohal

More like P is for P-P-P-P I couldn’t think of a word starting with P, so I contrived this weird homage to the Three Stooges in which three bandits on the run encounter what looks like Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade and his fucked up baby. I don’t know, I appreciated the visual style, but once again, it’s another short that has no point and never goes anywhere. It’s not interesting, let alone scary or funny.

FAIL

Q is for Questionnaire

Directed by Rodney Ascher

This one was probably the most unpredictable of the shorts. It’s insanely well-written and acted, and it’s nice that it’s not initially obvious at all where the violence is going to come from, plus the gore effects are decent and the ending is staged perfectly.

PASS

R is for Roulette

Directed by Marvin Kren

Eeeeh, this is another one I’m not too enthusiastic about. Technically, it’s not bad. It’s well shot and the art-direction is interesting, not to mention the acting’s not terrible either. The problem is that the premise isn’t really suited to a short film. It’s a game of Russian Roulette, but there’s a lack of context and emotional weight. When the big twist happens, I couldn’t tell you why it happened or why you should care.

FAIL

S is for Split

Directed by Juan Martinez Moreno

The short is easily the best edited of the bunch. The colour-correction and the whole Brian De Palma-esque split-screen technique is used to really unsettling effect. Unfortunately the short, with its extremely clever premise and execution, is let down by some bad acting and make-up effects, but I think the end-twist makes up for it somewhat, so it does eke over that edge.

PASS

T is for Torture Porn

Directed by Jen and Sylvia Soska

I have not seen a Soska Sisters production yet, but their reputation certainly preceeds them, and this is what I assume a movie of theirs would look like. They try for suspense, but they give away the twist way too early, at which point it pretty much devolves into a strobe-fest that plays out exactly how you’d expect. It’s perfectly serviceable, but it’s nowhere near as clever, funny or engaging as the majority of these shorts.

FAIL

U is for Utopia

Directed by Vincenzo Natali

The premise is very Twilight Zone. Chances are you’ve seen something like it before. The casting is really what makes it work though, particularly with regards to the main character, who you genuinely feel sorry for even though you know exactly what’s coming to him. Not to mention the visual aesthetic is interesting. It was very reminsicient of the Robocop remake, which is definitely a way to go.

PASS

V is for Vacation

Directed by Jerome Sable

H is for HANG UP THE FUCKING PHONE!!! Man, you wanna talk shock value? This one takes a predictable premise and tries to make it work by making it as repugnant as humanly possible. I was just bored and repulsed with this one. There was nothing clever about it. The only thing I’d note is the guy playing the obnoxious friend was so over-the-top that he was actually kinda great. That said, this is probably my least favourite of them.

FAIL

W is for Wish

Directed by Steve Kostanski

80s Nostalgia never gets old, and this He-Man parody is perfectly cheesy and over-the-top with the bad acting and great special effects. It’s like a self-aware version of the Cannon Masters of the Universe. Another one that I would be more than happy to see a feature made out of, even with the incredibly dark as fuck ending.

PASS

X is for Xylophone

Directed by Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo

Jesus Christ, guess where this one’s going. If it takes you more than a second, you probaby wrote this short. It’s another one that’s technically well-made, but with an entirely predictable premise that it tries to overcome with shock value. It’s a shame, because the effects are good and that last image should be haunting, but we all saw it coming.

FAIL

Y is for Youth

Directed by Soichi Umezawa

There’s nothing better than a good J-horror, is there? There’s so much visual creativity to this striking short about a young girl venting about her neglectful parents as we see her dark thoughts visualised to surreal effect. It’s so great to see that this one doesn’t rely on shock-value either, with an ending that’s restrained yet still poignant. Definitely one of my favourites.

PASS

Z is for Zygote

Directed by Chris Nash

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. They certainly saved the weirdest for last. Issues of neglect take a very insanely literal and absurd turn. The special effects are sickening, the acting is great and the cinematography is evocative as hell. That said, I think what really makes this work is the sound design. Holy shit, the sound design in this short makes it the most unsettling of the bunch. It’s definitely a strong note to end the film on.

PASS

Overall…

I found myself enjoying this one a lot more than the first. There was a lot more creativity on show, with a smaller number of shorts relying solely on shock value. Perhaps I had written this series off a bit too quickly. Maybe a third one would be absolutely perfect. Who knows?