i got so angry making this

Five Things Tag

Rules: you’ll have to tag 15 people at the end of this challenge

Thank you for tagging me @myhusbandhobi @thatnerdyblondegirl and @sopeonthestreet (Breanna, you tagged me 100 years ago agjskdlg I’m sorry!!)  

five things you’ll find in my bag:

  1. Way too much change
  2. Phone charger
  3. Earphones
  4. Wallet
  5. Crumpled up receipts 

five things you’ll find in my bedroom:

  1. Clothes all over the floor
  2. BTS posters
  3. Piles of books (I used to read so much more RIP)
  4. A popcorn machine my aunt got me that I’ve never used because I’m too lazy
  5. Honestly just a bunch of crap everywhere I’m such a mess

five things i’ve always wanted to do:

  1. Get it together
  2. Get it together
  3. Get it together
  4. Get it together
  5. Marry Yoongi

five things that make me happy:

  1. Min Yoongi
  2. BTS
  3. Doing nothing/sleeping
  4. My dog
  5. Talking to my mutuals (also sometimes bullying my mutuals but always out of love)

five things i’m currently into:

  1. The TV show Superstore
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Going on angry rants about Trump/Republicans/misogyny/racism/etc. 
  4. Min Yoongi
  5. idk i have no hobbies or interests or (keeping Ginny’s answer)

five things on my to do list:

  1. get a hobby or an interest or (keeping Ginny’s answer)
  2. Figure out want I want to do with my life
  3. Read more
  4. Stop being so sad and lonely and emo all the time
  5. Catch up on all the recent BTS vlives

Tagging @ttaegiis @agustdlightsmycigarettes @ralph-mountainlodge @yoonmin-smile @hobiscuteelfnose @kihyunseyesmile @fangirlingprobs @cocoratscha @jayonthestreet @agust-kook @loveofmylifejin @thereisnofuckingreason @socialily @siiriisi @daegusoftboys

2

@klanceweek Day 3: Scars

“The bombs are in place,” Keith says, swinging his leg over his hoverbike and starting the engines.  He speeds away into the desert, grateful that his oversized green jacket blocks most of the wind.  “I’ll let you know when I’m in the clear.”

“Got it.”  Pidge grumbles some profanities under her breath.  “Almost done hacking into the security feed, so Hunk and I should have a clear visual in under a minute.”

“Man, the Garrison sure is worked up over this.” Hunk’s anxiety is clear even through the comms. “What do you think is in there?  Do you think it’s an alien? Oh God – what if it’s an angry alien trying to kill us all.”

“Don’t need to worry about it just yet,” Keith says tersely.  “We’ll find out soon.”

Pidge makes a triumphant noise. “More like we’re gonna find out now. Bringing up the camera fe –”  She inhales sharply and Hunk gasps at almost the same time.  “Holy shit.”

“What’s wrong?”  Keith grips the handles tighter, heart hammering behind his ribs.  “What did you see?”

“It’s Lance.”

Short thing for my Champion Lance AU because the prompt was perfect.  Just redrew some screencaps this time because I didn’t want to spend too long on it ahaha, I’ve got a lot of drawing to do this weekend…

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

anyone else still sometimes catch themselves thinking about how after all those years of idolizing dave strider and after all that time in the void session wondering and anticipating and nervously awaiting this theoretical possibility that he might get the chance to meet him, dirk finally fucking sits down with dave one on one hours from the final battle and like wow fucking surprise motherfucker

he gets to find out his literal worst fears were ACTUALLY true! the version of him that dave knew actually did, in fact, do his level best to ruin dave’s life and was an abusive, toxic influence from day one and throughout to the point where dave can’t even look at him without flinching! 

this coming at a time when dirk is already horrendously low on himself, his relationship with Jake literally just blew up like 3 hours ago and if the AR thing went down even remotely the same way there was also that and holy hell dude what a time to be informed about the existence of Bro Strider. Dirk is sitting there thinking he was a toxic influence to Jake from moment one and probably all of his friends the whole time and here Dave is confirming everything from a parallel perspective? 

you can just see this horrible gut clenching moment when this utterly defeated Dirk just meekly accepts that this other version of himself is reflective of his true innermost self and has justifiably ruined any chance he ever had of impressing or even knowing Dave

– and then you see Dave just immediately lift it off him, even get kinda angry at him for having the audacity to even try accepting it that way, you can FEEL Dave’s fucking confusion because he went in guns blazing expecting a confrontation with someone as impossible and inscrutable as Bro was. Dave went in expecting to punch a brick wall and get nowhere, and instead he got Dirk “you’re absolutely right and I’m so fucking sorry I ruined your life” Strider 

and from Dirk’s pov, listening to this, watching this, having this realization that this dave isn’t an untouchable, aloof, mysterious and mythical heroic figure of legend at all, but that only makes him MORE worthy of idolization in all the ways that genuinely matter – and simultaneously thinking that he’s already sabotaged himself out of the chance to know him at all.

It’s like, god, you know those hyperrealistic nightmares people have sometimes that are so fucking scary because they’re indistinguishable from real life, the ones where after you wake up it takes a long time for the understanding that it was actually just a dream to hit you and then you want to cry with relief? 

For Dirk this had to have been so much like that, the whiplash between being 100% sure that Dave was just going to say what he needed to say and then never speak to him again (and knowing Dirk would have considered it completely justified and never questioned his right to do so jesus christ) followed IMMEDIATELY by Dave just being like no you don’t get it, THIS you, this version of you, what I am looking for deep down in my fucking SOUL is for this you that you are right now to be a person that I can have in my life to tell me that I’m okay, that you’re okay, that WE’RE okay – and after fifteen minutes talking to you I can already immediately tell that you ARE that person. 

Dirk’s friends were always only interested in denying the possibility that Dirk could ever truly become a monster, they could never have possibly understood just how DARK Dirk is at his most self destructive, and that’s part of why their reassurances were always hollow for him – they didn’t GET IT, right, they never could have followed the rabbit hole all the way down, so what did they know? But this guy, Dave Strider, has literally seen Dirk at his worst, has lived through the actual reality of the worst things living inside the full-picture potential of Dirk Strider, has dealt with that to great personal detriment and is fucking STILL sitting here telling him “I can tell that you are different, I can tell that you are better, and I am willing to trust you and help you to become a better person than the guy I knew because at the end of the fucking day, you are too important to me to give up on”

like yeah confronting dirk with all of that was what dave needed absolutely but BEING confronted and ultimately forgiven by dave was what dirk needed too, just as much

in conclusion homestuck is good

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

Photo study of the gorgeous @viria

Photo from her instagram: https://instagram.com/p/BOxHLWUhq67/

This is the first photo study I am very proud of. I often saw other artists draw photo studies and they often said it was relaxing or they did it to practise. It sounded so easy and when I tried it, I failed so hard. But I wanted to make one so bad that I kept trying. So the other day I got angry and was almost in my “I dont care anymore I just want to draw” phase and then I put on some loud music and just drew. In fury, but soon my anger transfered into energy and I felt good while drawing. I did not feel blockated anymore. It was just funny how furious and angry I was at first when I started to draw the portrait. And now all the negative feelings are gone. And it may sounds weird but I think I transformed my emotions and had a flow feeling as a result. So all in all, I am happy I kept trying. And that the result is good. I am happy. :3 A happy art potato. haha

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

Ok that last post got me fired up so we’re gonna have a quick chat about queer history and respecting your elders.

Nothing makes me more angry then when I see some 14 or 15 year old kids try to talk over queer elders and tell them what they can and cannot say about themselves and about their community. 

The queer community has a long, painful, and constantly evolving history. From things like early lesbian couples and Boston Marriages to Stonewall to the AIDS crisis, a lot of shit has happened, a lot of identities have existed and a lot of words have been used. 

Remember that if you’re young right now, you grew up in a time completely different than that of queer elders. You didn’t live through this stuff but you’re coming into it and you’re expecting to bend it to your own thoughts and needs. And that’s ok, you’re allowed to want to better your community and you’re allowed to change things where you see problems.

The problem arises when you haven’t done your research. When you come into the community with no background in it and try to change things. When you don’t know what happened in the past, but you think it should change or you think you know how to change it. 

So story time.

I live in a very liberal dorm. A very queer liberal dorm. And each semester we have guests come speak to us about whatever they do. A couple semesters ago we had Kate Bornstein come speak to us. For anyone who doesn’t know, ze is a trans author. A much older trans author. And the entire trans club at my school decided to attend hir talk. An email was sent out by the LGBTQ resource center beforehand explaining that if people chose to attend the event, they should be aware that ze was older and probably had differing views and to take it with a grain of salt.

So I attended the talk and first of all Kate is the loveliest human. Just very sweet and ze really wants to help queer youth. But, yes, ze is a little different than say a trans 15 year old. Ze explained how ze likes to use the word tr*nny. Why? Because when ze was figuring hirself out ze found a group of other trans people who referred to themselves that way and it felt like a family. Tr*nny became a family word. However, people in the audience immediately started questioning her on this. And being rude about it. 

So my takeaways from this are essentially that this was carried out horribly. First of all, I find it cringe worthy that the trans club felt the need to tell us to “take it with a grain of salt” and I found it cringe worthy that these kids fought a trans elder on zir own life story. 

Why? because this wasn’t a lesson in being queer now. This was a lesson in queer history. This was a person talking about what it meant to be queer in the past and educating us on where our community came from. And that’s important.

You don’t get to tell queer elders who they are. They know who they are and what they’ve been through far more than you do. You need to sit down and learn your history before you try to tell a queer elder what it means to be queer and what words they can and cannot use. Because you know damn well that if anyone tried to take your words away from you it would hurt. 

TL;DR: the queer community has a history, please learn it before you try to shit on it

If you need educating, please read And the Band Played On by Randy Shilts and Odd Girls and Twlight Lovers by Lillian Faderman. They’re a good start, but there’s always more to learn, please don’t stop.

YouTuber AU

there aren’t enough of these so I’ve decided to add my own because why the hell not.

  • Percy -mutherfuckin- Jackson
  • His username would be super basic like BabyPoseidon or something. 
  • His video’s would all be about random stories he would make up like “HOW TO SURVIVE AN ANGRY GIRLFRIEND” and Annabeth would be in the thumbnail just flipping the bird to Percy as he runs down the street.
  • “How I Got Kicked Out of (another) Walmart” would be his most viewed videos because he’s been kicked out of multiple Walmarts.
  • Annabeth Chase
  • her channel name would be like Do-It-With-Money instead of like Do-It-Yourself because she doesn’t understand the points or diys but she does them anyway
  • You wouldn’t fuck with her
  • she’d be that one YouTuber kinda like a DIY girl except at the end she’d let Leo set everything on fire because When in the world am I going to need an edible phone case.
  • in most of the backgrounds during her filming you would either A) hear Percy or B) see him running down the hallway to fuck with her filming.
  • “How to Bury Your Boyfriend’s Body” would be her most viewed video because it’s fucking hilarious
  • Hazel Levesque
  • she’d be the new Thomas Sanders. 
  • Do i need to put anything else because i don’t think i do
  • Jason Grace
  • holy shit
  • he’d be the new Bill Nye the Science Guy
  • except either Piper or Percy would be with him at all times and they’d either almost burn his house down or almost kill a gerbil
  • “PERCY I SAID NO GERBIL WHAT THE FUCK WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET A - YOU KNOW WHAT I DON’T WANNA KNOw”
  • he’d try and do makeup tutorials but Piper would come in half-way and just do it for him
  • Piper Mclean
  • She’d do the makeup halloween things but
  • she’d also be the biggest motherfucking prankster ever
  • Leo would frequently help her put freaking baby powder in Jason’s hair dryer
  • “Why I Might Need a New Identity” is her most viewed video because she almost burns down a Target bathroom
  • Leo Valdez
  • He’d be the new gamer and also prankster
  • he’d say this game isn’t scary and then promptly fall out of his chair
  • Calypso would be in the background just like im dating this dumbass
  • he’d also have a weekly cooking show with Calypso where she tries to take it seriously but he’d just like let’s ADD SOME GUMMYBEARS TO THE LASAGNA
  • I don’t think Frank would have one he’d be too busy volunteering at animal shelters and shit
  • but he is in 99% of Hazel’s videos 
  • its practically a collab channel at this point
  • Nico
  • he’d be the angsty gay one
  • except he wouldn’t come out
  • in a Q+A one of the questions would be When are we gonna meet your girlfriend and he’d just fuckin DIE OF LAUGHTER
  • “Do i honestly even look straight to you guys? I mean, phan is a thing right?”
  • Im sorry but i have to add Will
  • because he’d be the one to nurture people on health but in the stupidest ways possible like
  • Way To Not Die #782: Don’t drink Cyanide. Just, don’t? PLease?
  • He’d be in a secret relationship with Nico and everyone ships them
  • they’d always show up in the background of each other’s videos doing the stupidest shit ex: shooting a bow and arrow at a china cabinet or pretending to be a stripper
  • whenever Nico would call him while recording Will would pick up and just scream “WADDUP BITCH”
  • And if he was still recording when Nico got home Nico would either A) kick over his tripod or B) dump a bucket of something on his head

im sorry but i needed to do this

10 Reasons I should play Isak in the US Skam Remake

1. Isak and I are virtually indistinguishable from one another. Never before have I so closely, intensely related to a fictional character. 

2. I can rock a snapback

3. I wrote, co-directed, and starred in a short film that won the Atlantic Youth Film Festival and went on to be featured at the Toronto International Film Festival High School Festival

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjC3oncA6g8

4. REALLY want a blonde Isak? I’m game

5. I totally felt a Natural Connection™️ with Tarjei AND Henrik when I got to meet them 

6. Trying to be straight™️? ME

7. I can cry. I mean, CRY cry. Ugly cry (but still look good) 

8. Do you see that picture of me and my boy squad in front of a castle? Yeah. #boysquad 

9. I’ve acted in almost a dozen plays, both through school and independently, as well as three short films, so I know what I’m doing, but am definitely an unknown. 

10. Sitting on a bench? Sign me up

BONUS: I would do anything to play Isak Valtersen. Julie and Tarjei were able to expertly craft this phenomenal character that helped me grow as a person more than I ever thought a fictional character could. When I watch Skam, I see so much of myself in Isak. I took the exact same Gay Test as him. I laid awake for hours wondering if boys I liked, liked me back. I awkwardly came out to my friends when they heard it from other people first. I dated girls to prove to myself and people around me that I was straight. My first gay kiss was ripped right from a movie, only I was laying down like Sleeping Beauty and he got down on one knee and kissed me. I understand Isak because I am Isak. I’m the scared, lonely, angry closeted kid who makes other people guess who I like because it’s easier than telling them myself. I know US Skam won’t be able to replicate Julie and Tarjei’s Isak, because it never could. Nothing and nobody ever could. I don’t know if US Skam will be good; some remakes (The Office, Shameless) are amazing, others (Skins) are terrible. I hope US Skam is good, because I hope other people get to have characters they connect with the way I connect with Isak. I want to play Isak (or Isaac?) because I want to do for somewhat else what Tarjei did for me. I will always be grateful to him. I will never be able to thank him and Julie enough for Isak Valtersen. 


If anybody important ever sees this and wants to give me a chance, I’ll be eternally grateful to you as well. :) 

@taylor-tut tHIS IS SO LATE I’M SO SORRY MY FAB FRIENDO! But! It has finally arrived!! I’m sorry if it’s a bit crappy, I like haven’t slept in three days haha

anyhoo, onto the story:


Lance woke up with a sneeze.

He blinked his eyes open, immediately groaning at the light that pierced through his eyeballs and into his temples. He brought an arm up to shield his face, shivering slightly. Taking a deep breath, Lance conducted a mental survey of his condition, assessing his apparently numerous ailments that seem to have manifested overnight.

Congested sinuses that dissolved into a throbbing headache that pulsed outward with each movement? Check. 

Raw, sandpaper throat, and lungs that rattled with every inhale? Check.

The strange sensation of being completely, bone-numbingly cold despite the warmth and clamminess of his limbs? Checkerooni.

Conclusion: Today is gonna suck.

If Lance were to be perfectly honest with himself, he would concede that he had been feeling off these last couple days. Nevertheless, the team needed his 100% right now, and any wooziness he may have felt had to be put on the backburner. With several months having passed without any sign of Shiro, tensions within the castle were palpable.  Keith and Pidge seemed inches away from snapping at any given moment, Allura’s training schedule seemed to have been kicked up the several notches from “very harsh” to “dear god I can taste my own pulse”, and even Hunk and Coran seemed somewhat subdued. It was the least Lance could do to try and keep up, and make sure the other’s stayed optimistic. He was the joker, the sharpshooter - it was his role, no matter how taxing it could be on his own body.

Lance steeled himself, counting down from five, before swinging out of his bed, pausing to lean against the wall as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Once the tilt-a-whirl he usually called a bedroom settled to a soft swaying, Lance began to make his way down to the dining hall.

Keep reading

9

vixx → music videos

I’m falling apart

A/N: Reader is Jensen’s little sister who is going through a tough time with depression and Jensen is determined to help her. If this becomes a series it’s gonna be super dramatic & probably kinda twisty.

Trigger warning: Depression, suicidal thoughts.

Jensen threw his head back laughing at a joke Jared made. Looking around the table he realized how lucky he was. He was sitting at a table in Rome surrounded by his friends and fellow cast mates, enjoying the night. Tomorrow was the first day of the convention and the few days following it him and Jared would tour the city some before heading back home to his family. A gentle smile fell on Jensen’s lips when he thought about Danneel and the kids in Austin and all the plans they had for the hiatus.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Jensen grabbed it, smiling even wider when he saw Danneel’s name pop up on the caller ID.

“Hey babe.” He answered.

“Hey Jay.” Danneel’s voice responded, only something sounded off in her tone.

“What’s up?” Jensen said, standing up from his seat and walking away from the group, “You sound worried.”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m sure it’s nothing but…” Danneel trailed on.

“You’re kinda worrying me here Dee. What’s going on?” Jensen pushed.

“It’s Y/N.” Danneel responded.

“My sister? Is she okay?” Jensen quickly pushed.

Keep reading

A Kryptonian and an Amazonian: Kara and Diana (and the wonders of ice cream)

based on this post from @dealanexmachina and @randomthingsthatilike123 – https://avidreaderffn.tumblr.com/post/161453797376/i-need-diana-kara-fic-stat


Alex grins over from across the diner at her little sister and her new friend, leaning conspiratorially into each other in a booth at Noonan’s. 

Both in glasses – one to conceal her identity, one because why the hell not? – both moaning as they dig into the massive ice cream sundae on the table between them.

“I only had to cross an ocean to encounter this delicious cream,” Diana is telling her. “You had to cross – what did you call it?”

“The Phantom Zone,” Kara nods, closing her eyes as she leaves the spoon upside down in her mouth a little longer than necessary, oblivious to the way Diana stops eating to stare wide-eyed at Kara’s lips.

“Was it lonely? That Phantom Zone?”

Kara shrugs as she opens her eyes, and Diana wonders at the kind of blue.

“I don’t remember it. Being stuck there. Except sometimes in dreams. Alex would wake me up screaming when we were kids. My planet would be burning and I’d be stuck in what felt like an abyss, in my pod, and I couldn’t…”

Diana reaches a hand out for Kara’s, and their eyes lock hard.

“It must have been beautiful. Krypton.”

Kara’s smile returns even as tears prick her eyes. “My father used to take me to the edges of Argo City to watch our sun rise – it was red, not yellow like this one – and so much of our cities were just… awash in silver, in our technology, and it could have been sterile, I guess.”

She adjusts her glasses and swipes her spoon through a river of chocolate fudge and licks it off slow, thoughtful. Accidentally seductive, even as Diana’s heart bleeds along with her words.

“But it wasn’t. The way the rising sun would reflect off of all that metal… it was anything but cold. It was… Anyway. It’s gone, now.”

Diana shakes her head slowly. “Not in your heart, Kara Zor-el. Nothing can ever truly be gone. Not if you keep it alive inside you.”

Kara sighs and creates the ultimate sundae spoonful: wet walnuts, fudge,ice cream, a piece of banana, sprinkles, whipped cream. She offers it out to Diana, who accepts, and her eyes fly wide as she moans so loudly, so joyously, that Alex – now joined by her girlfriend – isn’t the only one in Noonan’s turning to stare. Kara giggles.

“The first time I tried it, I got so excited I started flying without even trying to. Alex tried to hold me down but wound up just coming along for the ride.”

Diana laughs, and it’s light and it’s happy and it’s so damn full. 

“Your sister’s a brave warrior, it seems. Angry. Frightening, perhaps. But loyal. And that police woman seems to make her smile more easily.”

Kara nods and they both glance over at Alex and Maggie, who catch their eyes and wave. 

“She’s the only reason I ever felt at home on this planet. Alex. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

Diana thinks of Steve, of gas and of planes. She thinks of her aunt, of generals and of last breaths.

Kara doesn’t have J’onn’s telepathy, but she knows anyway. She knows that look.

She sees it in the mirror far too often.

Nearly every time she looks.

“My aunt died, too. Was killed. She survived – she survived, I got her back, a piece of my home, and then she – “ Kara shudders, and tries not to think of Alex. 

Alex, protecting her space father.

Alex, loyal to a fault.

Alex, her sister, her world, who somehow became a hardened soldier without her noticing.

“She died. In battle. A renowned General.” Kara smiles softly, and it’s Diana, this time, who tries her hand at creating the perfect spoonful of sundae and offers it to Kara.

“I thought the world would never be able to go on when I lost my general. My mother’s sister. It felt like… you know what it felt like, Kara Zor-el.”

Kara nods, and remembers holding Astra, dying. Remembers holding Alex, weeping. Remembers holding her hand out for J’onn, breathing, breathing. Breathing.

“I have a projection of my mother. Maybe we could try to make one of your aunt. At the DEO. It… it’s not the same, and sometimes… sometimes I don’t know if she left me with the burden of caring for Earth or the burden of righting the wrongs I didn’t even know she’d done, but it… it’s comforting, anyway. Being able to see her. Talk to her. Even if it’s not really her.”

Diana’s eyes sparkle at this girl’s generosity. The way this woman bears the weight of multiple planets on shoulders that somehow still manage to look carefree. 

This warrior who doesn’t at all think herself a warrior.

But perhaps that’s what makes her such a powerful one.

“How have you done it, Kara? Seen all you’ve seen, and still… Ares told me that this world doesn’t deserve me, that I should rule it, enslave it, rather than… they kill and they torture and they… how have you done it?”

Kara pokes at their slowly disappearing, slowly melting sundae with her spoon.

“Ice cream helps,” she smiles softly, and Diana looks at her like she’s the sun. Because maybe she is.

“Love,” she amends more seriously. “If I let go of it, I… Alex does terrible things. The person I love most in the world. She hurts people, and she thinks… she thinks it’s alright, because it’s always in defense of someone she loves. She doesn’t think about the people who love the person she’s beating. Or, she does, but… after. Maggie’s helping her with it. J’onn too. And I’m trying. Sometimes I feel like it’s my fault, like I turned her into someone this ruthless, but I… I guess what I’m saying is… I love her. I love her more than my own life. All of her. And she helps me understand. Humans. This planet. The things people do out of fear. Out of love. Out of terror of losing love. The people you’ve found, Diana. They have to be your anchor. Otherwise it… otherwise it consumes you. The things Ares said to you. And you can’t let it. You’re too good.”

“As are you, Kara. As are you.”

Kara licks her lips and lets her eyes lock hard into Diana’s. 

“You know what also helps?”

Diana shakes her head, her eyes starting to sparkle, her lips starting to quirk up into an excited smile.

“Pool,” Kara grins.

“We have pools on Themyscira! Mystical pools, with water that – what?” she trails off, smiling in slight confusion, because Kara is laughing and touching her hand and god, she can feel the undercurrent of Kara’s power even in her gentle, affectionate gesture, and it makes her gulp.

“No, I mean a game. Come on. Alex and Maggie will show you.”

Kara is up and offering her hand, and Diana is taking it but her eyes are wide and her lips are playful.

“Can we get more ice cream there?” she asks, and Kara beams.

“Great thing about this city? We can get ice cream almost anywhere.”


You asked for it, @cassiebones @avidreaderffn @mrriggerworld @tiffanytheweirdo @misadventurous-meridian @supertworld 

Little Witch (Part 1)

Pairings: It’ll be a Peter x reader

word count: 1730

Requested:  Hey can you write one where the avengers go to recruit a girl they heard about? She lives in the deep woods and uses magic. When they find her they weren’t expecting someone so young since she’s only like 14-15. They start having second thoughts but she shows them that she can handle herself. She also wants revenge cause hydra killed her family trying to get to her.

A/N: I made the reader a little older and i hope it’s not a problem. I really liked the request and i have a big idea how to continue this. I hope you like it and if so let me know in order to post a Part 2 and maybe more ;) Enjoy (and sorry for the mistakes)

Originally posted by merlinemryspendragon


It was Saturday and everyone in the Avenger tower was finally able to relax. The whole week represented a lot of missions, hours of training and a serious lack of sleep. Today had to be their day off. Nat was trying to find an interesting film on the TV but for now with no luck. Steve was in his room immersed in his thought for the present again. Tony, as always, was doing something in his laboratory with Bruce but this time they weren’t eager to make a progress so fast, so they were mostly telling each other jokes rather than work. Clint and Vision, unusually, were cooking whatever they could think of while Peter, Wanda and Thor were ready to become tasters. Everything was going fine until a familiar and detestable sound reached their ears.

“Good morning, Avengers.”, said Colson, “How are you in this sunny and beautiful day?”

“Oh, hey Son of Col! We are perfect.”, Thor answered with a bright smile on his face.

Now everyone was in the living room looking at the man in a black suit showing on the huge TV.

“If you have to tell us something good then go on, if not…better fuck yourself.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you too, Romanoff.”, the man looked with a smile at the red-head and then turned again to the whole gang, “Okay, I will go to the main part. Three days ago something extraordinary happened in woods north of Minnesota.”, bellow him appeared some photos, “As you see, some of the trees are burnt but definitely not from a fire, and this one.”, a photo showing something like spikes coming from the ground became in view.

“What the hell is this?”, Peter exclaimed, “How is that even possible?”

“That’s what you have to find out.”

“What?! No!”, Tony said angrily. “No! Not going to happen! We have a day off, Colson!”

“I know you do, but it’s important. Given the fact it’s like 7km away from a Hydra base, it may be someone used for an experiment. And we need only three or four of you to go and check.”, the man announced.

“I’m in!”, Wanda said with no hesitations.

“Count me, too”, Clint raised his hand to show that he’s ready.

“And me.”

“Peter, you are not going.”, Tony declared.

“Why not? We only have to check what’s going on, that’s all.”

“He is right Tony, and I will go, too.”, Steve stated and the four of them received the needed information.

“I’m sick of Mr. Stark treating me like a kid.”, Peter breathed out as he and the other three avengers were getting in the helicopter.

“But you are a kid, Pete.”, Steve sat down and put his belt on. The others followed his actions and soon they were high above the ground.

“That’s not what I mean. I may be a kid as I am that young but I can look after myself. I can do things just like you guys. I want and I can become a hero. It seems he…he doesn’t want me to be one.”

“You know that’s not true.”, Wanda tried to calm the boy down, “He is just afraid. You and either I are new in all of this, but he, Steve and Clint are deep in this dangerous world and know what it costs to be a hero.”

“Wanda is right, boy. I share Stark’s thoughts but not completely. If you want to be a hero, you must know that you risk the lives of your beloved ones – family, friends, girlfriends… We all have experienced the feeling of losing someone; we just don’t want you to go through this at that young age.”, Clint said while checking his arrows.

“But don’t worry, we’ll be beside your back.”, Steve patted Peter’s shoulder and till the end of the flight nobody spoke.

Two hours later the group was finally at the mentioned place. There was no place for the helicopter to land so the heroes had to get down with the help of a rope.

“So…which direction should we go?”, Clint questioned as he, the last one, got on the hard ground.

“North.”, Steve looked at his compass to make sure he was right and then led the gang towards the destination.

“Why would somebody stay so deep In the woods?”, Peter decided to break the silence.

“I don’t think they are just staying there, Pete.”

“They are hiding.”, Wanda respond back.

“Why do you think so?”

“Colson said that there is a Hydra base in the distance…I think whoever managed to escape, is now terrified and…and angry.”

“How can you be so sure? Hydra probably sent out somebody to see if he can cooperate and serve them.”, the way Steve retorted back showed he had no good feeling towards the organization.

“Because I can feel it!”

“What do you mean?”, Peter was so confused given the fact he was new and didn’t have much information about the Hydra thing and Wanda’s powers.

“Sometimes I can either get in your head or memories, or feel your emotions.”

Steve was about to say something back as his anger has somehow unlocked but Clint was the one to stop them from a fight.

“Guys! We have a work to do and right now it’s in front of us.”, Hawkeye showed the previously seen spikes, which were like 10 meters away from them, “Can you solve your problems when we are back in the base, and I am away from your childish behavior?”

Wanda and Steve looked a little ashamed while Peter was still standing there with a stupid expression on his face while trying to figure the things out. While going to the strange and kind of a scary place the gang saw some burnt trees, others had a burnt hand mark on them, others were still up but their leaves were dry. As they were becoming closer a change in the temperature was felt.

“It wasn’t that hot minutes before. I’m sweating in this costume and now my body is itching like crazy.”, Parker announced as he began scratching.

“It’s coming from the inside.”

The spikes coming from the ground were making something like a dome. The sharp sides were touching at the top, while at the bottom they were forming a circle. This ‘structure’ was definitely made for some sort of protection.

“Maybe the person is inside this thing.”

“I will try to break it. Step back.”, Wanda commanded and then, using her magic, she broke one of the spikes. As she did so, another one grew but not upwards. Instead the spike with its sharp side directed at her body was about to kill her if it wasn’t Steve to save her.  They both fell on the ground while the others two tried to save themselves from the other deadly formations that suddenly appeared from the ground.  

“What the hell was that?!”, Clint exclaimed as he tried to catch his breath.

“I don’t know but we better find a way to…”, Peter was interrupted from Wanda’s scream to watch out. But his spider senses had already informed him about a danger. He jumped and used his webs to get on a high tree.  From up there he managed to notice the small aperture.

“I can get there and I will. Don’t try to stop me, we are losing time. When I get there you will attack and try to ruin this shield. Got it?”, the young boy notified the others through his micro earphone, “Let’s have some fun.”, Peter put his mask on and jumped from the tree. He landed just a meter away from the wanted place but as soon as his foots touched the spikes others began appearing. With his fastness he got in the hole seconds before getting seriously injured.

Although he has done it before, this time Peter made his superhero landing on his ass.

“Shit, that hurts.”, he cursed out but as soon as he did he was thrown against the strong wall made from the spikes.

“Tell me who the hell you are or I’ll kill you.”, a sweet, yet dry voice reached his ears. He looked up and saw a girl around his age standing defensive opposite him with a rage written on her face.

“I’m Pet-, shit! No, I’m Spiderman and I-”, but the boy was interrupted by being sent to the ‘wall’ again.

“You are lying! If Hydra is sending you, which I am sure about, you are gonna die in agony. They’ll finally see what I am capable of! That’s what they want, isn’t it?”, the girl screamed and clenched fists. Peter, who was thrown again, managed to see what she was doing and how she was capable of whisking him wherever she wanted. The guy soon realized she was a witch just like Wanda.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. We are here to help you”, as soon as those words were spoken, the girl was ready to make that boy shut up by repeating her previous actions but Peter was faster. He sent webs towards her hands, sticking them on one of the spikes. She tried to escape but with in vain. Peter used this opportunity to scan the girl. She was his height, with a (y/h/t) (y/h/c) hair, (y/e/c) now full with anger. Her clothes were dirty and scattered, her face slightly sunken maybe due to the lack of food.  

Suddenly the whole structure was hit and a part of it ruined down. The girl used this as an opportunity to go away and this time she managed. She began running but the boy shoot web at her and stopped her. The witch fell on the ground and looked at the four people standing meters away.

“I’ll kill you!”, she screamed and sent a stone towards the group. Wanda was the one to create a shield with her magic and protect her friends. The girl’s eyes widen as she saw that somebody had powers just as her.

“Stop attacking us and just listen!”, Wanda spoken calmly.

“We are here to help you, don’t need to be afraid.”, a man with a soft voice gave his hand to help her stand. The girl looked up and was met by a dirty blonde hair and kind blue eyes.

“C-captain America?”

Part 2 

My desires in a relationship have changed over time. I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me, I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I don’t want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me, I need someone to tell me how it really is and put me in my place. I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete. I am complete without you. But with you, I want to be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually. I don’t need you, but I really fucking want you. And this may not work out, but the fact that you understand all of this and this is how our relationship works, makes me think we’ve got a pretty good shot.

anonymous asked:

Do you think Kara would have saved the plane in the pilot if Alex wasn't on it? I'm not sure but I think she wouldn't have. It would have left her feeling guilty enough to make her sick but she'd sat out emergencies before.

Oh, she’d have let them all die lol.

I’m pretty sure Kara hasn’t saved anyone since Jeremiah gave her the talk after she saved the woman and the baby from the exploding car and Alex got hurt.

It’s so strange to think about because, now, there’d be nothing that could stop Kara from saving that plane.

But do you recall how angry and scared Alex was after she saved her?

“What were you thinking? You exposed yourself. To the world. You’re out there now, Kara. Everyone will know about you and you can’t take that back. […] What if people figure out who you are? What you are? It’s just It’s not safe for you to do anything like that. Ever again.”

That’s how all the Danvers treated Kara’s secret. Like there was nothing scarier than someone finding out that she was an alien. They were a family of scientists, they knew how much people would love to get their hands on Kara and what they might do to her in the name of progression.

And that fear was instilled, on purpose, into Kara. Fear for herself, maybe fear for her new family. And she only got over that fear once she had, in her mind, no choice but to use her powers and she felt what it was like to be a hero.

This is one of the reasons I’m super understanding of her not telling any single person on the face of the Earth her secret if she doesn’t want to. Beyond just her general right to keep it a secret & that it’s no one’s business. If her fear of anyone finding out that she’s an alien was enough for her to, despite what she really wanted, have let people die for years, it’s enough fear for her to lie to someone she likes for a while. It’s a lot to over come, and with the anti-alien tensions at play and the high from just becoming Supergirl gone, it’s enough to trip someone up.


But I think people forget how different Kara’s life was before the show.

She didn’t have a Purpose™

She was using her position at Catco as her way to help the world, but she felt it was insufficient. This is the most obvious change.

She didn’t have the confidence or the faith in her own moral compass that she has now

Or she’d have already been saving people. It was what she wanted to do, but she was abiding by the advice of others and their judgment of what The Right Thing To Do was.

She didn’t use her powers regularly to heat up coffee or to fly to work 

She wasn’t even sure if she’d be able to fly because it’d been so long, and Cat having hot coffee was like a first, because Kara was suddenly using her heat vision. She might have used them occasionally, like at thanksgiving or when she was in a jam, but I’d wager it wasn’t frequently by any means. 

(Now, I feel like super strength is different, because I don’t think it’s a turn on/turn off kind of power like the others. At least, I don’t see it that way. So she’d be more likely to use her powers to lift heavy objects than to use super speed. Just for pre-pilot fic reference.)

Aliens weren’t well known

There is some continuity error here, because somewhere between Kara telling Winn that Aliens don’t exist in the pilot and Leslie Willis posturing if Supergirl had tentacles, people figured out that Supergirl and Superman are aliens. But, either way, they weren’t really a discussion people were having before. There were no pro-alien anti-alien debates. (Well, if there were, it was a debate of ‘do they really exist?’) 

So someone finding out that Kara is an alien? It would have been a really big deal. Like you finding out your classmate is an alien. That big.

(This also means that the Luthors, before Lex found out Clark was an alien, weren’t anti-alien. Aliens didn’t exist to the general public when Lena was growing up. She wouldn’t have heard things like ‘aliens are bad!’ from her family. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they were generally xenophobic. So if you’re doing Lena backstory and want to address the toxic/hateful environment she grew up with and that she has to overcome, I’d lean away from the “family that hates alien” idea and toward “family that hates things that are different” idea. Or just have it be a recent development because Lex went crazy.)

She didn’t have a close group of friends, and was likely pretty unpopular when she was younger

When she was talking to the guy who kidnapped Alex, she mentioned how she was sitting alone when Alex was sick. I think she probably had trouble for a long time with human interaction. And Winn is the only friend we know she had before the start of the season, and I don’t think they were as close as they are now.

She didn’t date much or have boys fawning over her as much as she has since the pilot

Eliza was said to have criticized Alex in the past for Kara’s not dating enough, and she started the show with obvious ‘dating troubles’. Remember that clueless guy who wasn’t into her in the pilot? (What a dumb move on his part lmao.) 

But it’d probably be hard to get close to someone romantically with that secret. In fact, the date in the pilot wasn’t going well because Kara couldn’t talk about herself properly. He asked where she lived or was born or something and she’s like “uuuhhhhhhhh up…north????” so yeah…. 

But, if you’re curious, I’d bet money that she hadn’t slept with anyone yet. I’m not even sure if she could sleep with a human without something to de-power her but that’s actually beside the point.

Her relationship with Alex was more strained 

In the early episodes of Supergirl, Alex and Kara worked some things out that hadn’t been worked out before that time. Alex had some resentments toward Kara, and she also was keeping the DEO secret (and before the DEO, her secret downward spiral).

And I think Kara had resentments about them telling her not to use her powers. 

Honestly, just watch this (deleted) scene and feel the tension between them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlvSrSA6hFQ

So I don’t think they were as open as they are now with each other. I think they tried to bury it all, and it affected their relationship, if not their ultimate love for each other.


So Kara’s life has changed a lot since before the series started. 

Becoming Supergirl has really made her life so much better, not only in terms of her impact on the world, but on her own relationships. For the first time, these past two years, she’s felt really connected to people.

And I really don’t think she ever though she’d have real friends or a real relationship, or a relationship without resentment with her sister. 

And this is why, every time she fails in a relationship or loses someone, it feels like “oh, so I don’t get to have this after all.”.


But I think, eventually, Kara would have started using her powers on her own. 

It’d take a push of some kind, or her having an internal realization, sure, but she’d get there. It’s who she is. Who she really is. Even if it takes her some time to understand that.

Hell, having Jimmy Olsen around, reminding her of what her cousin was doing might have done it. 

Or maybe she’d have naturally grown confident enough to try it, over time. 

Or maybe she would just have woken up one day, turned on the news, seen someone who needed help, and said, “No. Not this time. This time I’m going to act.”