i got no ideas for text

"jesus, i'm on the freaking school bus again because all my rides to school are dead!"
  • [going to school]
  • Heather McNamara: Hey, Heather, can I get a ride to school in your Jeep?
  • Heather Duke: *visibly getting into her Jeep* Sorry, Heather. I don't even have a car. *drives away to school*
text message starters pt. 1
  • [ text; ] this is a terrible idea
  • [ text; ] fuCK you f*ck your cartoon hotdog husband fuck his stupid sunglasses and FUCK the ketchup kids (and fuck THEIR sunglasses)
  • [ text; ] i need help.
  • [ text; ] i don' t know wh a t to fuckign do w i th myself a nymo re
  • [ text; ] i got a dog!!!!! I GOT A DOG!!!!
  • [ text; ] please let me come over and pet your dog?
  • [ text; ] anyway i'm bleeding, like, really badly. no worries though i'm good
  • [ text; ] i love death and dying
  • [ text; ] i fucked up. i fucked up really badly.
  • [ text; ] I BROKE EVERYTHING
  • [ text; ] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • [ text; ] don't freak out but i'm in the hospital.
  • [ text; ] leave me alone.
  • [ text; ] i said not to talk to me.
  • [ text; ] QUICK WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONG
  • [ text; ] some-
  • [ text; ] this might be the last text i ever send you.
  • [ text; ] i'm going to do it.
  • [ text; ] i'm sorry.
  • [ text; ] fCUK I PUNCHED MYSELF I NTHE FACE
  • [ text; ] i'm playing club penguin and you wouldn't believe the shit these 9 year olds are saying to me
  • [ text; ] you okay?
  • [ text; ] i'm so worried please text back please please please
  • [ text; ] 'i don't drink coffee,' i say, before chugging an entire pot of it
  • [ text; ] what would happen if i just, like, downed seven five-hour energies. does that equal 35 hours of energy
  • [ text; ] brb, descending into hell.
  • [ text; ] it's 3 am and i can't sleep
  • [ text; ] GO TO BED!!!!!!!!
how i write
  • ‘okay so oh my god, i’ve literally got the best idea for this fic, it’s so unique and i bet no one ever thought about it’
  • writes like one paragraph
  • *forgets about it for 3 months*
  • opens it later with even more ideas
  • ‘oh my god i know the best way to follow up this fic ha ha i’m so smart’
  • writes like 5 lines
  • deletes like 855 lines
  • ‘i feel like i’ve used this word a lot’
  • rereads so many times that the text has lost all it’s meaning
  • ‘nope you used ‘said’ last time and ‘spoke’ before that. use a different word for said’
  • lines turn into complex statements
  • trying to figure out if the person who reads it can figure it out
  • breaks! 
  • blames writer’s block even though i got too much inspiration
  • trying to stop myself from indulging in too much fluff
  • more breaks!
  • ‘my fingers hurt’ word count - 67
  • ‘who set out the rules for upper case first letters after the full stops? that shit is stupid and tiring?’
  • sucks at describing the scene
  • ‘it was a warm and dark night, like black ink that’s been boiled on a low flame’
  • sucks more at adjectives and adverbs
  • ‘the pretty woman pretty much hated the pretty girl and her pretty sister’
  • really sucks at writing angst 
  • ‘tim loved tom but tom thought he liked jim because it was prophesied’
  • reads prompts for fics and is like
  • ‘i can work so much with this. i got it down. it’s good. i got the perfect idea’
  • repeat 

anonymous asked:

Hey, could you write a scenario where the group is already planning Keiths and Lances wedding, even though they just got together. Please?

listen,,,,, when i got this request i legit screamed in excitement this is such a brilliant idea i love u so much

keith, furiously googling: “is it possible to pine after your oWN BOYFRIEND WTF”

Humans are weird little aliens

I really like the “Humans are space orcs; Earth is space Australia” idea, let’s try this out. 

Crewmates: A Guide To Housing the Main Species by Dr. Troa’Gaa was the name of the book Captain Kii’o grabbed out of the main deck’s bookshelf. He wanted to make sure to properly house the new Human that recently became member of the ship. Captain Kii’o sat beside his co-captain, Maefaa.

“Are you sure having a human aboard is a good idea, Maefaa?” Said the captain.”

“Are you kidding?” Maefaa said. “I’ve heard humans are one of the greatest advantages a captain would want!”

Kii’o didn’t really believe that, but hey. If Maefaa said so, he was inclined to believe it just a tad bit more.

“Alright.” Kii’o said, opening the book and going to the Human section.

“If you are new to housing humans,” Kii’o began reading the book out loud, “be sure to read this guide thoroughly. Humans are unpredictable, so forget everything about the other main species.”

“One of the human’s most surprising abilities”, Kii’o continued, “are their stubbornness. Of course, a race that originated in a Class-B8 Death Planet could only be as stubborn as they come.”

“Class-B8? That’s a little ridiculous. Class-B8s have volcanoes and tornadoes and just about every other weather that wants to kill you.” Maefaa interrupted.

“If a human appears to be superficially hurt, it is not something to worry about. Humans can heal cuts and even broken bones in a matter of weeks. Please, spare your medkits, as they usually are not needed, assuming no crew battle above rank 2 took place.

If you want to keep humans healthy and thriving, be sure to get at least one ‘pet’, as humans call them. If no ‘pet’ is provided, the human may attempt to bond and/or pet just about any living creature not marked as toxic. ‘Pets’ can be found in any ‘pet shop’, as the human civilisation calls them. If no pets can be found in the human’s pod, the human will most likely try to bond with inanimate objects, and try to pet dangerous animals.”

“Yeah, humans try to pet everything. One time, a human tried to pet the Konoios in sector 4, haha.” Maefaa said.

“What happened then?”

“The Konoio didn’t attack. That’s it. They just… stared at each other.”

“Are you sure humans aren’t psychic? Konioios are really aggressive, most of the time.”

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it at first too.”

“Did the Konoio run away?”

“No, it ended up becoming the human’s pet. Now everyone’s afraid of going into the human’s pod, haha.”


(Did you like it? Let me know, and I’ll keep writing!)

2

Bokuto: I got you fam

Akaashi: Bokuto-san for the umpteenth time, Hinata-san is not your son. Plz stop…

Text post inspired comic from here >> http://incorrectgym3.tumblr.com/post/144057710023/bokuto-screw-that-guy-hinata-yeah-hinata  credit to @incorrectgym3 I love all of these related blogs, there is a plethora of ideas for comics and I am so happy about that. This fandom is a blessing. Plz keep making these text posts to draw from.

I AM LIVIIIIIIIIIING!! THIS IS IT, THIS IS WHAT I’M HERE FOR: NAMJOON BEING AN AWESOME RAPPER/SINGER-SONGWRITER/PRODUCER, COLLABING WITH BIG NAMES, AND GETTING THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES FOR HIS SKILLS. I’M HERE FOR NAMJOON. I AM REVIVED.

MY HELLA WEIRD VOLTRON THEORY THAT MAY ACTUALLY BE TRUE???

okay so hear me out. at the end of season 2, shiro mysteriously vanishes from inside the cockpit of his lion. i have no doubt he will be back to piloting black within a season, but here’s what i see most people asking: WHERE TF IS HE??

BUT HERE’S THE CATCH Y’ALL. IT’S NOT JUST WHERE. IT’S WHEN.

shiro has been transported not just through space but through TIME. and i know EXACTLY where and when he will eventually end up.

on earth. with the blue lion. in the caves with the carvings. but NOT in his original time. much much before that.

has everyone forgotten that the only reason keith knew to prepare for something arriving on the day that shiro crashed back on earth in his pod was because cave carvings told him that something would be arriving on that exact day? 

we all either forgot about it, or assumed it had to do with some weird prophecy. but my theory is that shiro made those carvings himself to ensure that the future he was in would still happen. to ensure that keith would eventually find them. to ensure all the events leading up to them reforming voltron and fighting zarkon would still happen. so that the timeline he was originally from would still exist for him to return to.

i have zero other details for this, i dunno how he actually gets back exactly (my theory is it’s got something to do with the black lion), and it fucks with a whole lotta space-time bullshit, and flirts with the scary idea of things like pre-ordained destinies existing, but holy shit guys this may just be it.

  • lance: CATCH! *throws cup of coffee at keith*
  • [coffee splashes all over keith's jacket, staining it]
  • keith: *glares*
  • lance: got you! that one's empty! this is the real one!! i've been planning that for ages, you should have seen the look on your face!!
  • keith: *still glaring*
  • lance: *realises the coffee stain on keith's jacket*
  • lance: *runs into wall*

harry potter au where lance and hunk are childhood friends who dream of going to hogwarts together and becoming the best wizards e v e r. but then lance turns out to be a squib and hunk is the only one going to hogwarts.

their relationship goes through some problems at first, because lance really wanted to be a wizard and, even though he tries not to, he is jealous of hunk. but they slowly work things out and their friendships ends up stronger than ever.

lance gets interested in muggle magic tricks because he feels like he’s creating his own magic, even if they’re just illusions. and he loves sharing them with hunk, who’s in a permanent state of “how did you did that?!”

hunk makes sure to include lance in every magical thing he does. he shares his books with him, takes him riding on his broom, makes his own sorting hat ceremony and names lance an honorary slytherin, and casually asks for his help whenever he has a paper due because he knows lance loves to help him with them. lance doesn’t want to disconect with the wizarding world because that is HIS world and hunk makes sure to help him with that.

hunk has anxiety problems, he has to go to hogwarts without his best friend and lance helps him with that whenever he can. lance also encourages him to try out for hufflepuff’s quidditch team and celebrates with him when hunk becomes their keeper. he’s also there whenever hunk gets an idea about a magic object or a new spell and makes sure hunk knows how amazing and brilliant he is.

lance becomes a pilot and works to create a school for squibs where they can stay connected to their world. hunk becomes an inventor of magical objects that revolutionize the wizarding world. and they fall in love.

I got this unexpectedly in the mail today. It’s a sticker of Robbie Rotten’s face made up of Bee Movie quotes.

I had no idea who it was from and it had no return address. Two hours later after texting everyone I knew trying to figure out where it came from and slowly starting to wonder if I had bought it late at night in a crazed stupor, turns out my father sent it…
thanks dad.