I really like the “Humans are space orcs; Earth is space Australia” idea, let’s try this out.
Crewmates: A Guide To Housing the Main Species by Dr. Troa’Gaa was the name of the book Captain Kii’o grabbed out of the main deck’s bookshelf. He wanted to make sure to properly house the new Human that recently became member of the ship. Captain Kii’o sat beside his co-captain, Maefaa.
“Are you sure having a human aboard is a good idea, Maefaa?” Said the captain.”
“Are you kidding?” Maefaa said. “I’ve heard humans are one of the greatest advantages a captain would want!”
Kii’o didn’t really believe that, but hey. If Maefaa said so, he was inclined to believe it just a tad bit more.
“Alright.” Kii’o said, opening the book and going to the Human section.
“If you are new to housing humans,” Kii’o began reading the book out loud, “be sure to read this guide thoroughly. Humans are unpredictable, so forget everything about the other main species.”
“One of the human’s most surprising abilities”, Kii’o continued, “are their stubbornness. Of course, a race that originated in a Class-B8 Death Planet could only be as stubborn as they come.”
“Class-B8? That’s a little ridiculous. Class-B8s have volcanoes and tornadoes and just about every other weather that wants to kill you.” Maefaa interrupted.
“If a human appears to be superficially hurt, it is not something to worry about. Humans can heal cuts and even broken bones in a matter of weeks. Please, spare your medkits, as they usually are not needed, assuming no crew battle above rank 2 took place.
If you want to keep humans healthy and thriving, be sure to get at least one ‘pet’, as humans call them. If no ‘pet’ is provided, the human may attempt to bond and/or pet just about any living creature not marked as toxic. ‘Pets’ can be found in any ‘pet shop’, as the human civilisation calls them. If no pets can be found in the human’s pod, the human will most likely try to bond with inanimate objects, and try to pet dangerous animals.”
“Yeah, humans try to pet everything. One time, a human tried to pet the Konoios in sector 4, haha.” Maefaa said.
“What happened then?”
“The Konoio didn’t attack. That’s it. They just… stared at each other.”
“Are you sure humans aren’t psychic? Konioios are really aggressive, most of the time.”
“Yeah, I didn’t believe it at first too.”
“Did the Konoio run away?”
“No, it ended up becoming the human’s pet. Now everyone’s afraid of going into the human’s pod, haha.”
(Did you like it? Let me know, and I’ll keep writing!)
I AM LIVIIIIIIIIIING!! THIS IS IT, THIS IS WHAT I’M HERE FOR: NAMJOON BEING AN AWESOME RAPPER/SINGER-SONGWRITER/PRODUCER, COLLABING WITH BIG NAMES, AND GETTING THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES FOR HIS SKILLS. I’M HERE FOR NAMJOON. I AM REVIVED.
MY HELLA WEIRD VOLTRON THEORY THAT MAY ACTUALLY BE TRUE???
okay so hear me out. at the end of season 2, shiro mysteriously vanishes from inside the cockpit of his lion. i have no doubt he will be back to piloting black within a season, but here’s what i see most people asking: WHERE TF IS HE??
BUT HERE’S THE CATCH Y’ALL. IT’S NOT JUST WHERE. IT’S WHEN.
shiro has been transported not just through space but through TIME. and i know EXACTLY where and when he will eventually end up.
on earth. with the blue lion. in the caves with the carvings. but NOT in his original time. much much before that.
has everyone forgotten that the only reason keith knew to prepare for something arriving on the day that shiro crashed back on earth in his pod was because cave carvings told him that something would be arriving on that exact day?
we all either forgot about it, or assumed it had to do with some weird prophecy. but my theory is that shiro made those carvings himself to ensure that the future he was in would still happen. to ensure that keith would eventually find them. to ensure all the events leading up to them reforming voltron and fighting zarkon would still happen. so that the timeline he was originally from would still exist for him to return to.
i have zero other details for this, i dunno how he actually gets back exactly (my theory is it’s got something to do with the black lion), and it fucks with a whole lotta space-time bullshit, and flirts with the scary idea of things like pre-ordained destinies existing, but holy shit guys this may just be it.
harry potter au where lance and hunk are childhood friends who dream of going to hogwarts together and becoming the best wizards e v e r. but then lance turns out to be a squib and hunk is the only one going to hogwarts.
their relationship goes through some problems at first, because lance really wanted to be a wizard and, even though he tries not to, he is jealous of hunk. but they slowly work things out and their friendships ends up stronger than ever.
lance gets interested in muggle magic tricks because he feels like he’s creating his own magic, even if they’re just illusions. and he loves sharing them with hunk, who’s in a permanent state of “how did you did that?!”
hunk makes sure to include lance in every magical thing he does. he shares his books with him, takes him riding on his broom, makes his own sorting hat ceremony and names lance an honorary slytherin, and casually asks for his help whenever he has a paper due because he knows lance loves to help him with them. lance doesn’t want to disconect with the wizarding world because that is HIS world and hunk makes sure to help him with that.
hunk has anxiety problems, he has to go to hogwarts without his best friend and lance helps him with that whenever he can. lance also encourages him to try out for hufflepuff’s quidditch team and celebrates with him when hunk becomes their keeper. he’s also there whenever hunk gets an idea about a magic object or a new spell and makes sure hunk knows how amazing and brilliant he is.
lance becomes a pilot and works to create a school for squibs where they can stay connected to their world. hunk becomes an inventor of magical objects that revolutionize the wizarding world. and they fall in love.
I got this unexpectedly in the mail today. It’s a sticker of Robbie Rotten’s face made up of Bee Movie quotes.
I had no idea who it was from and it had no return address. Two hours later after texting everyone I knew trying to figure out where it came from and slowly starting to wonder if I had bought it late at night in a crazed stupor, turns out my father sent it…