i got bored don't look at me

  • Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don't remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
  • Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?
  • Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
  • Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled
  • Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey
  • Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
  • Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
  • Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don't respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
  • Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
  • Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
  • Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I'm going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
  • Same Guy: It's original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
  • Another Specifically White Male Writer: It's in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don't you care about historical accuracy
  • Same Guy: I mean, it's a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven't done any research, but i'm SURE that it's historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
  • Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!
  • Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
  • Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
  • Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
  • Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it's not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
  • Male Writer: I am original
2

“What do you think that cloud looks like? It kind of looks like a tomato to me.”

“I think it looks like a shoe.”

“….Okay, what about that one?”

“…Another shoe.”

“Are you looking at the same cloud?”

“No, they all just kind of look like shoes to me.”

anonymous asked:

trans peter doesn't like dresses, but ned forgot and he finds this dress w/ pockets and buys it. He gives it to peter and Peter's like "u know i don't li-waIT ARE THOSE POCKETS????" And he wears it only bc it has pockets. A lot of people ask why he wears it, and only the girls freak out bc of the pockets on the dress.

“not that i’m not digging the look, but why are you wearing a dress, parker?? not your usually style,” michelle asks sounding kinda bored, not looking up from her book

“oh, ned got it for me. i don’t really like dresses much because everyone misgenders me, but this dress has pockets so i couldn’t refuse it,” peter says proudly, sticking his hands in the pockets and waving them around to make his point.

mj raises her eyebrow. “pockets, you say?”

“pockets,” peter says smugly.

“cool, can you hold some stuff for me? i don’t have any pockets, and apparently you do soooo,” mj mutters, already handing stuff over for peter to hold on to.

“uh, yeah, um okay, sure i guess i can, just — wait, MJ WHY DO YOU HAVE A WHIP?? IM NOT CARRYING THAT FOR YOU.”

Halsey Hopeless Fountain Kingdom lyric starters
  • I find myself alone at night unless I'm having sex.
  • I don't let him touch me anymore.
  • I have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors.
  • I'm not something to butter up and taste when you get bored.
  • If I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you.
  • He'll never stay, they never do.
  • So tell me how to move on.
  • They don't realize that I'm thinking about you.
  • Can you hear my heartbeat fucking kicking?
  • I can put up one good fight.
  • Don't you see what you're finding?
  • I can tell you mean it cause you're shaking.
  • I know you're dying to meet me.
  • As soon as you meet me, you'll wish that you never did.
  • I got into some trouble with that drink in my veins.
  • I can never say sorry cause I won't take the blame.
  • You know I wanna keep you around.
  • You gotta decide something.
  • Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me.
  • I run away when things are good.
  • Someone will love you, but someone isn't me.
  • Don't trust the moon, she's always changing.
  • I get the message you wish I was dead.
  • Please don't take this as a threat.
  • Treat her right and she won't complain.
  • I'm about four minutes from a heart attack.
  • Shit is crazy, right?
  • You're so damn good with a bobby pin
  • I ain't your baby no more.
  • It tastes like Jack when I'm kissing him.
  • He's calling me a bitch again.
  • I always make the same mistakes.
  • I don't give a damn what you say to me.
  • Motherfucker, don't play with me.
  • I'm not the type to be out past dawn.
  • Go and grab someone and find a place to deal with it.
  • We're not lovers, we're just strangers.
  • I miss the thought of a forever, you and me.
  • But all you're missing is my body.
  • You know, I used to be on fire.
  • It's my own anxiety that makes conversation hard.
  • Nobody seems to ask about me anymore.
  • I won't take anyone down if I crawl tonight.
  • But I scream too loud if I speak my mind.
  • I don't wanna wake it up, the devil in me.
  • You said I'm too much to handle.
  • You know the truth hurts but secrets kill.
  • It's easy to forgive.
  • I can't help the way you made me.
  • I hope hopeless changes over time.
Best Friend Starters
  • "Want to go somewhere?"
  • "Wait. Wait. You did what now?"
  • "Hey. How's it going?"
  • "I am sooooo bored."
  • "Yeah. Yeah, we could do that. Or we could sit around and do nothing."
  • "What fresh hell did you get me into?"
  • "When's the last time you bathed?"
  • "Got anything to eat?"
  • "What did I tell you about touching my stuff?"
  • "You're dating my ex?"
  • "Please tell me you have coffee."
  • "How do I look?"
  • "Let me give you some advice..."
  • "Drink up."
  • "You look ridiculous."
  • "I'm not going and you can't make me."
  • "What do you think I should wear?"
  • "Screw them. They don't know what they're missing."
  • "Can we not actually do this?"
  • "Pizza?"
  • "Is anyone else coming?"
  • "I'll walk with you."
  • "You look like you need a hug."
  • "Forget about 'em. You're better off."
  • "Pain gets better with time and alcohol."
  • "You need me to kick their ass?"
  • "Don't leave me hanging."
  • "Did you see that?"
  • "I leave no one behind."
  • "I don't suppose you have any idea what to do now..."
  • "Tea? Scone?"
  • "Stop being so melodramatic."
  • "I'm here for you."
  • "Give me five minutes."
  • "Why do I even hang out with you?"
  • "You know I would do anything for you, right?"
  • "Maybe you should cut down on the booze."
  • "That has got 'nope' written all over it."
  • "What's the worst that could happen?"

anonymous asked:

Can we know more about the ghoul boy? (A ghoul boy joining the BoS??) :O

My ghoul boy Isaiah Clarke has no good pick up lines at all he’s awful. I mean they tend to work because they’re so bad he has to be faking it… right?

I don’t know that much about fallout lore so maybe things won’t fit right but whatever. Isaiah got all ghoulified way back in the great war, he did try to bribe his way into a vault (not 111) and paid a lot of money for a place but that all went to shit and he lost his money and had to endure the nuclear warfare. I mean when he found out that Vault Tec was just a bunch of experiments he thought he got off lightly.

He wandered around for a long time, took a lot of odd jobs to pull in caps, and he sold chems when he could scrounge the materials to make them. A lot of people paid him less than he was worth because he’s a ghoul so he set about fixing that. Isaiah saw Doctor Crocker a lot for reconstruction, spending thousands of caps over the years to make himself look normal again. It wasn’t really worth it in the end because he was irradiating himself from the inside out, so he was slowly reverting back to a ghoul as the years went on. Eventually he settled on just having his upper face fixed because it was cheaper and he could hide the rest easily.

Still it was expensive, so he takes odd jobs here and there. Isaiah comes across Danse and his tiny group by chance, shooting his way through the ghouls easily and jumping to the rescue. He’s pissed that he doesn’t get any caps straight away, but Rhys and Haylen pay well for clearing areas and fetching stuff, so he’s happy enough for a more stable income, even if it is supporting the Brotherhood of Steel. It’s not like he has much of an option.

He doesn’t really get passed an initiate stage, and refuses to go on the Prydwen despite Danse telling him that’s he’s a loyal soldier and should head up there. Isaiah confesses that he’s just afraid of being on airships, even though it’s a big lie, Danse doesn’t push it so hard afterwards. He does pave the way for Victor (my sole survivor) to get up there though, commending him to Danse and backing his claims of loyalty.

(Maybe he’ll confess to being a ghoul after Blind Betrayal, it depends how that goes because I never actually travelled with Danse and never got to know him because fuck the Brotherhood. I mean I killed Elder Maxson straight away for his coat, as I’m assuming many others did, and loaded an earlier save to speed-run the quest line just for the achievement.)

Back before the war he was a small-time chems dealer, generally the disappointing son in comparison to war hero Victor, and he usually kept his distance. They share the same mother, but she divorced Isaiah’s father and remarried Victor’s dad. Usually he popped up on the odd birthday or whatever, but often kept in contact with Victor whilst he was on tour or y’know whatever it’s called, so they‘ve a pretty good relationship.

They’ve got different last names so nobody makes the connection when that arsehole Clarke goes looking for the guy from the vault. There’s some angry threatening when he reads about him in Publick Occurrences, convinced that Piper’s digging up old graves for a story. 

Oh! And he’s carried this for the last 200 odd years;

3

let the flames of your passion grow.

the only thing i really got out of the end of naruto is that i am going to be bitter about tenten for the rest of my life. that girl deserved the world and she just looked so bored in that shop. i’m gonna be on my death bed complaining about how much better tenten deserved.

I Lost My Halo When I Fell From Grace | An Aluseras fanmix

01. Delirium - Down From Up | 02. Narcissistic Cannibal - EarlyRise | 03. Killpop - Slipknot | 04. Zombie Dance - Escape The Fate | 05. Savin’ Me - Nickelback | 06. Breakin’ Down - Skid Row | 07. Impossible - Kelly Clarkson | 08. Broken Hearted - Eighteen Visions | 09. Dance in the Dark - Lady Gaga | 10. Does Everybody In The World Have To Die - Hollywood Undead | 11. Private Parts feat. James Michael - Halestorm | 12. Would You Still Be There - Of Mice & Men | 13. Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

(listen here)

“what’s your favorite moment?”
“what?”
“what’s your favorite moment?”
“…in life?”
“yes.”
“can it be in the future?”
Jongin, who was completely covering himself up with the blanket, got his face out and looked at Kyungsoo weirdly before shrugging, “yeah, whatever”
“It’s when we’re all happy and confident enough to do whatever we want without being afraid of what people will think of us. It’s when all of our group members will get themselves a nice partner to spend their life with and we’ll get to attend each one of their weddings, and we’ll also get to make our own wedding and live in our own house with puppies or even children if we wanted. It’s when we’ll get to go out holding each other’s hand without being afraid of the backlash of the people that follow us. It’s when we’ll get to live freely, just the two of us. You and me. Jongin and Kyungsoo. Together and happy. That is my favorite moment”
Jongin got silence for awhile looking at Kyungsoo with soft and warm eyes and then said “but that’s more than just one moment hyung”
Kyungsoo, who was sitting beside him on the bed, jumped on jongin while pulling his hair, which got the later screaming in pain, “I just can’t believe you sometimes, you stupid brat”
“but you still love this stupid brat” said jongin while wincing in pain
“and I don’t even know why I do” said Kyungsoo while dropping his hands from jongin’s hair and holding his face instead and giving him a small peck on the nose, which made jongin giggle and hug Kyungsoo tightly
“I love you, soo”
“I love you too, idiot”

to that person who mentioned mama!hawk being proud of the elric brothers for achieving their goals…

P.S. I promise I’ll make a better one in the future! D: because when I realized the amount of black colors I had to shade I got lazy with this XP also this did not look right for me for some reason so I might post a better one next time :)) keep your eyes peeled folks!

Overheard around campus 2
  • "Yeah, I'm like 'Ba-ha-ha' high..."
  • ***
  • Girl 1: "I wish there was a real-life 'chill pill'. That way you can just take it and chill."
  • Girl 2: "I think that's called pot."
  • ***
  • In Microbiology building: "I would rather drink my own urine than eat a placenta, without question."
  • ***
  • In General Biology lab: "I am a kick-butt predator!"
  • ***
  • "I always use sound logic when having dildo-related arguments."
  • ***
  • "Sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out like nothing happened."
  • ***
  • Professor: "You've got to know how to play on people's guilt."
  • ***
  • "The watermelon is a selfish lover!"
  • ***
  • Professor: "Venus. So it's hot... smells like sulfur... high pressure... gaseous... what does it remind you of?"
  • Student: "Detroit!"
  • ***
  • "I want to have a tea party. Crumpets, though, not conservatives."
  • ***
  • Professor: "I hope you weren't drinking on a Monday night. Not until grad school, at least."
  • ***
  • Guy 1: "So you actually looked up what constitutes statutory rape? That's kind of creepy."
  • Guy 2: "Well me and my sister got bored one night and we looked it up."
  • Guy 1: "The fact that you did it with your sister is even creepier."
  • ***
  • "I don't buy groceries, I buy alcohol."
  • ***
  • "Using Internet Explorer when going to a website you've never been to is like having unprotected sex with a stranger."
  • ***
  • Guy 1: "What?! It says tomorrow's high is supposed to be -4 degrees!"
  • Guy 2: "Um, dude -- you're in metric."
  • ***
  • "Sex in the bathroom is unsanitary. I hope they had their shoes on."
  • ***
  • Physics TA: "Does anyone know what Benjamin Franklin's greatest sin was?"
  • Student: "Porn?"
  • ***
  • "Well, I can try to get an exponential boner if you want."
  • ***
  • Multivariable Calculus professor: "I had a classmate who got killed by the old street cars from St Paul in Mexico City. He wasn't a nice guy."
  • ***
  • "SpongeBob is the good kind of creepy. I would love for SpongeBob to call me at 3 am."
  • ***
  • "I don't know his name, so I just call him Aladdin."
  • alec: hey, mags, can i-uhh... can i-
  • magnus: what?
  • alec: can i borrow um... you know, some of your...stuff
  • magnus: what do you mean?
  • alec: um- *points at magnus' bracelet* jewelry?
  • magnus: so, what kind of jewelry do you want? i have golden rings with pearls, i also have these beautiful wing earrings you can have, look at this necklace it's made out of gold and it has little rubies on the sides. and i really don't want to forget this beautiful bracelet that my long gone friend bought me- it's got diamonds in it and it shines as the sun ray touches it, so, which one do you want? you can take them all.
  • alec: i just wanted a rubber bracelet that says "boyfriend" on it.

     My other gif imagine got good feedback sooo I’m gonna make more! Send in your requests, they are closing on Thursday! (Excuse my terrible writing) <3 (Btw I made up a teacher name soooo Don't judge me)


    I was sitting in history class, it was boring as usual. “Ok class, what is the longitude and latitude of Moscow, Russia?” Mr. Buckowski asked us. Stiles’ hand shot up and he looked at me and winked. I knew he was going to try to impress me. “Stiles, what is the answer?” Mr. Buckowski asked, “The longitude and latitude of Moscow, Russia is 60′ North and 50′ East.” He said confidently, Mr. Buckowski’s eyes widened “Stiles Stilinski actually got it right!” Mr. Buckowski said while clapping. I just put my head into my hands. 

Violence and Anger Meme.
  • Send one of the following to see how my muse will react!
  • "You better keep one eye open."
  • "Watch your back."
  • "You're pissing me off."
  • "I'm itching for a hunt."
  • "You do it, or ___ will get it."
  • "Nothing else interests me anymore."
  • "You bore me."
  • "I hate you!"
  • "Looking at ___ makes me sick."
  • "I can't even look at you!"
  • "I can't believe you!"
  • "How could you do this?!"
  • "You know just how to tick me off."
  • "You don't deserve ___!"
  • "You make my skin crawl."
  • "You're disgusting."
  • "You disgust me."
  • "You're a nuisance."
  • "You ruin everything."
  • "There's only one thing I can do now."
  • "I'm gonna kick your ass."
  • "My blade's got your name on it."
  • "Who do you think you are?"
  • "I hate you so much I could kill you."
  • "Are you threatening me?"
  • "You don't have to do this!"
  • "This isn't you!"
  • "You're really going to resort to violence now?"
  • "Act like an adult."
  • "What you're doing is wrong."
  • "I'm going to be the better person here."
  • "What would ____ think?"
  • "This isn't you."
  • "We can talk about this!"
  • "Don't act so rash."
  • "Just take deep breaths."
  • "You will feel better later. Don't think too much."
  • "You're just overwhelmed."
  • "You have a choice."
  • "There's always another way."