i got a gold medal and i know that it's all mine

Games & Flames (Rivals AU Playlist)

I made a playlist a few months ago to release some of the feels from reading @kazliin​‘s Rivals AU fanfic, Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches (which is seriously one of the best Yuri on Ice fics written out there and yOU SHOULD TOTALLY READ IT!!!!) but then the companion fic came, and the feels dam just fucking exploded again. I just kept hearing songs that sounded like they’d go nicely with the fic, and I knew I had to make another playlist.

And so here we are! I call this playlist Games & Flames because Viktor seems to like playing mind games and playing with fire hahaha rEAD THE FICS AND YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHY. also because I like rhymes. Here’s a link to the series again for reference! Details on the playlist and more of my ramblings about why I chose the songs are under the cut~

YouTube | Spotify*

*One of the songs in my list is not on Spotify, I’m so sorry!

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On ‘Why I Didn’t Want Season 2 Of Yuri!!! On Ice But Now I Absolutely Do Need It’

Alright, listen up guys. I believe we are all pumped for season 2 of Yuri on Ice! While that is obvious I also want to point out that at the same time the opposite is true, and I’m in fact super anxious about it!!!

Listen, I want all the good Victuuri content that could come and should come with season 2. I want it all the more considering that the ending of season 1 was… not much of an ending. With no marriage, although the thought was planted in our heads, and not even a gold medal for Yuuri, the story feels unfinished and incomplete.

Yuuri’s whole storyline is about finding strength through love. Naturally, we as the viewer, automatically root for the protagonist (especially when he is an endearing inspiring individual like Yuuri, LISTEN I LOVE HIM). But another reason for me was that he was supposed to win thanks to love, and it’s important to note that among all different kinds of love that Yuuri has finally found in his life, the one that propelled his development the most was his love for Victor. This is gay and so am I.

Throughout the series we’ve been told things like “I’ll prove it with a gold medal”, “love wins”, “we’ll get married once he wins a gold medal”. Even the gold of the rings alone could have been read as foreshadowing. And tbh TBH I wanted the series to end like this!! I wanted gold for Yuuri, lowkey hoped for marriage, the end! – no season 2.

I didn’t even think season 2 was a possibility as YoI was airing, not until the very last minutes of the very last episode. For many reasons like, you know, the mlm plotline! Or money - it was a low budget anime and we had no idea it would become this popular. Also, the structure of the general plot suggested a convenient way to wrap up the series with the GPF (and Yuuri winning gold ffs). Moreover: Stammi Vicino. 

Its last words are “let’s leave together, now I’m ready” so I assumed it meant both Victor and Yuuri leaving the ice at the end. (Which would be so romantic and good, at least for Victor, let him rest blease…!). The track list got leaked early on. With Stammi Vicino both at the beginning and at the end as a duetto, it was only logical to assume the story of the song is Crucial. There were just so many signs suggesting it would go like this, but.

The way the series ended was, to put it softly, surprising (Kubo’s favourite..) To put it less softly - unnecessary, even disappointing. I really really REALLY wanted love (gay love!) to win. It didn’t and instead it was Yurio who is a kid and has much more time to shine than Yuuri.

Now, the series is about a sport - unpredictable in itself, yes, however! a writer tells some kind of a story and has a power to give the events meaning. That’s what we expect! Yuuri not winning gold frankly has very little meaning. He did improve, became stronger thanks to love, however, from the perspective of narrative, it would be more logical to give the protag, who struggled so hard, the gold medal. 

But ok ok, if the writers really wanted to be so surprising and not do that, they could have at least give us the wedding to explicitly show that what Yuuri achieved is enough. I love my boy and he deserved as much.

And did they really need to give the gold to Yurio? Yuuri lost, and for what exactly? Maybe it’s true, that among those 6 finalists Yurio was the biggest threat to Yuuri idk. Buuut again, narratively speaking, Yurio is too young to be getting all the good stuff! Both the gold and the world record on his debut?? COME ON. Btw dragging Yuuri’s Eros in ep 11 so bad was just weird and cruel. Especially considering it was after the engaygment!! The scores in GPF were weird in general, that has been discussed enough. Gold for Yurio wasn’t too good for his storyline.. Imho pride and arrogance were rewarded.

But I don’t want to get into that too much. He is talented and hard-working just… not the one who deserved gold the most.

I realize a lot of this stuff has been said before but what I’m getting at here is that time passes by and I do not seem to be able to find my chill. The thing is, I would let it go more easily if that was any other story, but it is a beautiful happy mlm story and I invested A LOT of emotions into it.

I would probably appreciate this storyline more if it was immediately followed by some positive development, but it was the finale and now we are doomed to sit and wait, months are passing by and there’s still no solid promise of positive development that could come with season 2!! And anyway for someone who is so pumped for season 2 I’m so scared to be disappointed by the writers and the fandom both (and the latter is just bound to happen…) but I NEED it to go forward.

I just wish Kubo and Sayo were more careful with their writing. I think they do not comprehend the impact Yuri on Ice had on lgb people. They’re walking on thin ice (ha ha) with this representation and I may not be a skater but I do have a glass heart… “The story that never ends" better end, and in a satisfying way!!


The death and life of James B. Barnes (1)


Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: One curse word? Maybe?

Word count: 1.182

Summary: Bucky and Steve participate in a sailing competition against Y/N and Natasha.

Based on 40′s Bucky and Steve.

First part of the @hunters-from-stark-tower movie challenge! I am SO SORRY that it took me this long to post the first part, my computer crashed some time ago and I lost the entire series at once. I guess I just didn’t have to heart to start over, but here we are! I hope you enjoy my take on the movie Charlie St. Cloud.

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On Love: Anxiety (A Yuuri Katsuki Analysis)

The thing about Yuuri is that he’s such a relatable character to me. Even more so now that he’s in a relationship with Victor, so I can honestly say that YOI is the anime that I’ve always needed.


  1. Yuuri has anxiety.
  2. Yuuri is in a relationship.
  3. Yuuri is in a relationship with someone he thinks is too good for him.
  4. Yuuri has a low opinion of himself.
  5. Yuuri is an unreliable narrator.
  6. Yuuri hates losing.

…and etc.

These are all things that I can relate to! So, forgive me, but I absolutely hate how this anime ended. And although I loathed Episode 12 to death, the ending of Episode 11 was something I didn’t expect and yet it was something I didn’t know I needed — mainly because Yuuri’s anxiety reared its ugly head in a way that I am all too familiar with.

[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki clenching his fists in an attempt to gather up the courage to ruin his own life for Victor’s sake]

i.e. Cutting your own losses before you lose them.

So from the perspective of someone who also has low self-esteem and is in a relationship with someone who I think deserves much better, here’s why I believe Episode 11 was necessary in a way that Episode 12 did not give justice to. Here we go!

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Greek Week-Part Seven

A/N: Thank you all once again for the positive feedback! Hope this part is just as good for you!

Prologue, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Epilogue

word count: 1171

Olympic Day was both a success and a failure.

You knew going into it that Omega Chi weren’t going to win gold in every event. Alpha Sigma Phi had the physical advantages after all. Calum and his friends had essentially wiped the floor with almost everyone else, the extremely tall group of boys easily walking into first place many a time. However you and your sisters didn’t give up easily, winning enough medals to balance out the scores and even capturing a few golds for yourselves.

The real winner was your Crown Booth.

You’d gone over to check on it part way through the day, and discovered a queue of people waiting to buy one. You’d also noticed the dwindling numbers of stock, and thanks to some practical planning ahead, instantly took your place behind the stall to start creating more. You’d ended up spending most of the day in that position, Roxana beside you as the two of you worked to meet the demands of your fellow students.

By the time the day ended, you were completely exhausted.

Making your way back to the O Chi house, you’d almost completely forgotten about your plans with Calum until Rox mentioned them, and a quick look at the time caused you to quicken your pace.

“I haven’t even eaten.” You complain as you reach your room, discarding your dress in favour of leggings and a burgundy long sleeved crop top. “I’m going to starve to death.”

“Oh shut up.” Roxana laughs as you touch up your makeup. “You had two hot dogs at the games and shared those fries with me. And you can always get a muffin or something at the coffee shop. You are the one paying.”

“That’s true.” You sigh, ruffling your hair before deciding to put your flower crown back on. You only could wear it the one day after all. “Tell everyone they can have a lie in tomorrow. We only have the talent show in the evening, so it’s only rehearsals that need to take place.”

“Sharing your presidential duties. I am honoured.” She smirks, just as the doorbell rings. “Here’s lover boy.”

“Fuck off.” You grin, pulling on your converse and grabbing your purse before darting down the stairs. Opening the door, you find Calum with a cigarette between his lips, wearing his trademark black skinny jeans and a New York City tank top. He looks up, grinning at you as you shut the door behind you. “Hi.”

“Hey.” His arm wraps around your waist, pulling you into his chest so he can brush a kiss to your lips. It’s completely innocent, only lasting a few seconds before he’s pulling away and returning his cigarette to its rightful place. “You look nice.”

“Are you just going to compliment my appearance every time you see me from now on?” You joke, lacing your fingers with his as the two of you begin your walk.

“Not my fault you always look good.” He smirks, shrugging a little. “Nice flower crown.”

“Thanks. Some guy bought it for me.”

“Some guy?”

“Yeah. He’s the President of Alpha Sigma Phi. Soccer Star, secret poet. Great in bed; super-hot. You know who I mean?”

“Rings a bell.” Calum chuckles, hand squeezing yours. “I heard he’s had a crush on you for ages.”

“Apparently so.”

“You like him back?”

Calum drops his cigarette then, stopping to toe it out. You take the opportunity to bring his lips back to yours, smiling against him as he hums happily. Pulling back with a smirk, you squeeze Calum’s hand like he’d just done to yours.

“He’s pretty alright.” You shrug. Calum laughs, brushing his lips against yours again before you continue your journey.

And yet again, you found yourself falling even harder for him.

Calum let you pay for your drinks, albeit not without mumbling under his breath about chivalry and romance. He’d grinned as you’d also bought a muffin, and the two of you had shared it whilst you sat at the same table as the last time. He spoke about his family and asked you about yours. You asked about his poetry and he told you about how he, Ashton, Luke and Michael had started a band. Plans for the next year were brought up, and Calum looked at you in awe as you spoke of your plans to travel the world, admitting his future was resting on whether he was scouted at the end of the soccer season.

And yet again, you didn’t notice the time flying until a text from Roxana brought it to your attention.

Calum wrapped his arm around your shoulders as the two of you walked back, your own around his waist. Both of your steps were deliberately slower, trying to prolong the moment when you’d reach the porch of the Omega Chi house.

“Well done, for today I mean.” You tell him, Calum’s eyebrows raising at your words. “Alpha Sig smashed it.”

“We did, didn’t we?” He grin is smug, and you roll your eyes, only making him grin more. “Good to know you aren’t a sore loser.”

“Who says O Chi lost?” You jump on the defence, shaking his arm off and spinning so you could walk backwards in front of him. “Still got the Talent show to go yet.”

“You didn’t lose, you just admitted defeat.” He smirks, reaching forward to lace his fingers with yours. “And that’s good enough for me.”

“Whatever Hood.” You roll your eyes again, allowing him to tug you back to his side. “O Chi are still gonna win.”

“Does that mean my hat’s gone for good?”

You’d almost forgotten about the snapback sitting on your dresser, and the promise you’d made him about the conditions of its return. His question brings a smile to your lips as you reach the house, and you turn again so you’re facing him. Hooking your finger in one of the holes of his shirt, you pull his face close to yours, a smirk still on his lips.

“Depends, you going to give me my underwear back?”

“Sorry Angel,” He grins down at you. “They’re mine for good.”

“Then I guess your hat is mine.”

Calum captures your lips with his, hands gripping your hips as he walks you back up to the door. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip and you happily part your lips, your own tongue battling his for dominance. By the time the two of you pull away, both of your lips are swollen.

“Come in?” You ask him, pressing yourself even closer. “I owe you something for the flower crown.”

“Yeah?” He grins, pressing his lips to yours again. “I’m not going to get stoned by the competition or anything?”

“They wouldn’t dare.” You laugh, once again using the hole by his neck to your advantage and pulling him inside. “Not without my say so, anyway.”

“Remind me never to cross you.” He chuckles, arm wrapping around you and lifting you slightly. “Now, which way is your room?”

Clexa Fic Rec

So, I told @username9799 that I would recommend a few fics to read and then I thought, maybe others would like it too, so here they are : (they are not ordered by preference, its random)

IN Canon:

A Choice Made Differently by dreaming_wide_awake

Summary:  This is my take on what would’ve happened if Clarke hadn’t left Camp Jaha at the end of Season 2. I’ll warn you now, it is going to be a slow burn, no immediate jumping in with the Clexa relationship as it’s obviously going to take time to rebuild that trust.

Comments: This fic is amazing. It’s angsty in the beginning but the build up for Clexa is amazing AND the story line outside shipping is really well written as well. Lexa not only tries to mend her relationship with Clarke but with other characters as well which is something I really loved about this fic.

Shattering the Skies Above by halfalie

Summary: It was never supposed to be like this. Clarke was never supposed to stand in front of her, face battered, hands trembling, and eyes wide with anger and fear.Clarke was never supposed to make Lexa feel as though the girl was standing on cracked ice, so close to being submerged and drowned in freezing water.Clarke was never supposed to come back, but she had.And Clarke was certainly never supposed to announce her marriage to the Ice Queen.

Comments: ANGST. BIG FUCKING ANGST!!! Get ready. This one hurts my soul but it sooooo good.

Rise Into Ruin by Crazywisdom

Summary:  Post-2x16. She is tired, vengeful and she wants answers: that’s all that draws Clarke to Polis. But a new enemy on the horizon, cracks within the grounder hierarchy that threaten Lexa’s freshly-acquired charade of peace, and the reluctant desire to trust once more, makes her stay.

It Makes Thunder by pleasenthell

Summary:  “A unity ceremony is a marriage,” Octavia interrupted. She had been silent, standing next to Lincoln like a smaller, stoic compliment to her boyfriend.
Marcus blinked, “A marriage between who?”
“The Commander and someone of equal rank from this clan,” Lincoln stated. “She has to agree to it.”
“A diplomatic marriage?” Abby asked, looking at Marcus. She shook her head.
Raven piped up from her seat at the table, “That’s insane.”
“We don’t have anyone that could do that,” Marcus added.
“We do,” Bellamy nodded. His eyes fell on Clarke. “We have a princess.”

Alliances by Area_Monarch

Summary: Her mother just didn’t understand that things were different now. It wasn’t like the Ark, where a person’s life could be planned out safely. Where you had some idea of where you would end up the next day.Things change too rapidly here, for that.Clarke finds the only way to have peace is through a Union.

Alternate Universe:

I’ll Be Right Behind You/Take Me With You by K17L53

Summary: Lincoln is crashing with a ridiculously hot friend (Lexa) and Clarke is very single. Raven has an idea Clarke probably won’t approve of and for some reason, Lincoln goes along with it.or"My friends are dumb and wanna set us up and I AM SO SORRY"

Comments: This one starts out pretty cute and funny but don’t be fulled. Angst will happen and it hits hard for a while there.

Take Me to Church by scamp23

Summary: Clarke proposes to an almost stranger to piss of the homophobic church protesters, but she didnt expect the news to pick up the story, and she didnt expect to fall for the stranger.or
Life is pretty unexpected, sometimes all you need is a fake fiance, 2 ridiculous best friends and a really really pushy news reporter, and all your dreams will come true.

Comments: This one is still in the early stages but the writing is a great and it is setting out to be a really amazing fic.

A Soccer Love Story by onebigroughdraft

Summary: Meet Lexa Woods: star of the U.S. Women’s National Team, trying to lead her team to another Olympic gold medal. Meet Clarke Griffin: new team doctor, and the only one capable of turning the world-class athlete into a stuttering, clumsy fool.It’s a soccer love story, ya’ll.

The Heart is the Strongest Muscle by Danistalley12

Summary:  Clarke’s promise to improve her life after a break up leads her to a nearby gym and a very beautiful brunette stranger.

Comments: One of  the first Clexa AU’s I have ever read and the reason why I am currently obsessed with Clexa AU’s.

Lover in Low Light by Chrmdpoet

Summary: "You’re never going to love anyone the way you loved her. That kind of love, it only happens once in a lifetime, so if you’re waiting to feel that way again, I think you’re always going to be waiting.“orFive years after their relationship’s end, college sweethearts Lexa and Clarke find themselves in the same city again. Now, they are different people with different lovers and different lives, but neither ever fully let the other go. Will what they once had still be all they are looking for, or is it finally time to truly let go and move on?

Comments: Chrmdpoet wrote this, that should be reason enough.

The Three Truths by transientpermanence

Summary: There were three truths to Clarke Griffin, Lexa knew:     Meeting her their sophomore year of college was a stroke of mere chance.     Becoming her friend by the end of their junior year was an active choice.     Falling in love with her by the time graduation rolled around…falling in love with her was an inevitability.

Comments: AHHHHHHHHHHHH that’s all I have to say about this one.

A Business of the Heart by Tanagariel

Summary: Lexa Woods inherited her family company after her parents passed away, however, in order for Lexa to have total control of her company she has to be married.The solution?Her best friend Clarke proposes to be her wife so Lexa can have the control back. Clarke and Lexa will fullfill the terms of the contract stipulated by the board and everything will be back to normal, or at least that was the initial plan, that is, until they start to develop romantic feelings for each other.

Comments: This one will make your heart tingle with feels.

Everything You Are by awriteofthings

Summary:  Doctor au. Lexa is new to Ark Hospital and quickly becomes attracted to fellow doctor, Clarke Griffin, but unfortunately for her the trauma surgeon is not interested in a relationship. (A Grey’s Anatomy-esque fic because why not?)

You’re Fired (So Yeah, You win) by LaFlashdrive

Summary:  The one where Clarke draws Lexa’s name for the office Secret Santa, not knowing Lexa is the President of the company she works for. The gag gift she gets her is a bit… unconventional. A dildo. It’s a dildo.

Comments: I need to re-read this one. It’s so fucking good!!! It’s not a Christmas fic so don't’ think it is.

When Love Becomes The Reason by Clarkesquad

Summary: Clexa Fake Dating AUThe one where it’s not a love story, it’s a story of a girl who needs a plus one for her brother’s wedding (and a girl who needs to be at that wedding).Spoilers: It’s a love story. It’s always a love story.

Comments: You just NEED to read this one.

She’s Got Me Up All Night (All I’m Singin’ Is Love Songs) by mostlyunstablefangirl

Summary:  tumblr prompt – "so we’ve never met but our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we’re showering at the same time and we sing duets”

Comments: This is like the CUTEST fic I have ever ready. I was smiling all through out this one.

She’s Got Herself a Girl (and I wanna make her mine) by billet_doux

Summary:  Lexa Woods is known to men and women alike in the New York area as the go-to woman when relationships go downhill. Successful businesswoman by day, Lexa takes on a new persona at night; one of an amoral, lecherous woman who will take you on the date from hell and send you running back to the arms of your ex.

Comments: This one is still in the beginning, Clarke and Lexa only even had one brief encounter but oh the set up for this is amazing This is gonna be one of those rip your heart out kind of fics. I can feel it.

Sacrifice by ArshuSyed

Summary:  Peace through political marriage. Will the marriage last when one has already given her heart away?

Comments: This one kinda happens in canon world but not with what happened in canon. Its really great as well. So worth the read.

And now, completely unrelated to Clexa. If anyone here likes the idea of Racen and Lexa, please go read

Potential by CorvusCorvidae

Summary:  Octavia finds a new client for Raven; while Lexa is looking for someone to show off to her family.

Comments: I have just been completely obsessed with this fic. I kinda ship Ravexa as a side ship but this fics UGH SO GOOD. I am just here crossing my fingers for people to start liking Raven and Lexa ore so I can getmore fics as good as this one.

Not Jealous

TITLE: Not Jealous


AUTHOR : tomcuddlesfic


GENRE: fluff / romance /

FIC SUMMARY: OC is totally not jealous that Tom’s with someone else for the night.


AUTHORS NOTES/WARNINGS: Loosely based on my life. Comments would be great!

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I know I’ve made a ridiculous number of posts about this, but here’s the slightly more compact one that sums up a lot of this week.

I’ve absolutely loved my four years at NYU. I’m immensely proud of what I’ve done and thankful for who I’ve met. It’s impossible to sum up the entire experience in one post.

A bit of explanation: NYU is really big, so while All-University Commencement is held at Yankee Stadium (this year, May 18th at 11am), there are also individual school Baccalaureate ceremonies (mine, for the College of Arts and Science, was at Radio City Music Hall on May 19th at 3pm). The President speaks at both, but my name is called at the bacc and I get to actually walk.

Photo explanations beneath the cut! (Also lots of bragging. Sorry, not sorry.)

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so show me family

(agents of shield // gen // ff.net // ao3)

 slightly belated birthday present for my baby sister

// in which the team gives Skye the birthday she never had.

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What's Your Letter?

Summary: Lauren Jauregui has it all: The title of homecoming queen two years in a row, the perfect boyfriend named Brad, and a loyal best friend, Normani Kordei. Not to mention, her family is loaded thanks to her fashion designer mom and CEO father. So she should be happy right? She thought so until her and Normani begin rooming with the sexy, Latina Camila Cabello who’s a proud bisexual at their on campus private high school. Now Lauren can’t stop thinking about Camila. With a hot new girl on campus, everyone’s feeling a little more colorful with their emotions and closeted feelings comes out as heartbreak runs rapid throughout this New England private school as everyone tries to answer the question, what’s your letter?

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The Green Dinosaur

TITLE: The Green Dinosaur 


AUTHOR : tomcuddlesfic

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor Tom / Daddy Tom

GENRE: fluff / romance

FIC SUMMARY: Tom waited until last minute to buy his son, Charlie, his Christmas gift.


AUTHORS NOTES/WARNINGS: I thought of this in shower once I came home from school. I wanted it to be funny so tell me if you did laugh at some parts. :) Thanks for reading! Much love and as always, love to hear what you think.

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