i got a boy live

andrew taking care of neil. wrappin him in a towel. washin his hair. givin him kisses. helping him get dressed. checkin his booboos. suckin his dick.

upholstered furniture

pairing: pansy parkinson x harry potter

setting: modern, non-magical, reality/film star au; based on this

word count: 4,654 words


(7:22 am) Did you see the casting news yet? For Boy Who Lived?

(8:15 am) fuck off its sunday

(8:16 am) Ronald.

(8:17 am) unless they chose to go with an actual fucking cgi flamingo i dont give a shit right now and it can wait until tomorrow

(8:19 am) It really can’t. Harry’s going to fire you when he finds out.

(8:19 am) ??????? get ur blasphemous ass back to church no he’s not

(8:20 am) Yes, he is. It was YOUR idea to scrap the chemistry test.

(8:23 am) omg what is ur DAMAGE chemistry tests r dumb af harry hates them

(8:24 am) And sometimes you have to act as his AGENT, not his best friend, and advise him to do the things he hates, Ronald. Like chemistry tests.

(8:25 am) thx for the fortune cookie fun fact i’ll pass it on to harry’s latest oscar nom ok

(8:29 am) Check Variety. They reported on the casting this morning. There was a “leak” at the studio. Naturally.

(8:32 am) harrys gonna fucking fire me ur right


BREAKING: Hurricane Hollywood star tapped for female lead in Paramount’s Boy Who Lived

October 11, 2016. Los Angeles.

Well, it’s official.

Seemingly permanent tabloid staple Pansy Parkinson (Hurricane Hollywood; The Hottie and the Nottie), better known for her outrageous late-night party antics than she is for her acting prowess, has been cast as Harry Potter’s (Under the Stairs) on-screen love interest for the futuristic dystopian thriller, Boy Who Lived, slated for release by Paramount sometime in Summer 2018. While Parkinson has been persistently vocal about her desire to make the transition from her Cristal throne in Vegas to the slightly more respectable silver screen, this will be her first role in a major motion picture.

Keep reading

Shelter was probably the only good thing to come out of 2016 tbh

okay i still cant believe this but tonight at my fob concert patrick got really mad at someone and called them out on stage,,, so enjoy this video of patrick stump calling someone a fucking idiot

TLSP DRINKING GAME

i was bored

At a party? Bored? Wanna get a nasty hangover the next day? Boy have I got he game for you!

*LIVE VERSION*

Take 1 shot every time:
-they play Le Cactus
-they play Moonage Daydream
-Alex touches his own butt

Take 2 shots every time:
-Alex runs around stage like a maniac
-Miles mouths along to the songs
-Alex says some weird stuff
-they play Totally Wired

Take 3 shots every time:
-they play Is This What You Wanted
-Alex is wearing a shirt with a strange sentence on it
-Miles wears a tracksuit
-they have a guest (Cam Avery, Johnny Marr, etc)

Take a big sip of said drink every time:
-Alex and Miles do something gay (ie hold each other, share the microphone, etc)
-they introduce the rest of the band
-Alex falls/rips his pants/drops the mic

Just drink all the alcohol you have every time:
-Alex forgets the lyrics
-they play an AM song
-you’re watching the Rock En Seine show


*NON LIVE VERSION*

Take 1 shot every time:
-Alex says something poetic af
-it’s only Miles singing
-it’s a cover

Take 2 shots every time:
-the song’s clearly about sex
-Alex hits a really high or low note
-their voices crack

Take 3 shots every time:
-the song isn’t about some girl
-the song isn’t about romance in general

Take a big sip of said drink every time:
-Miles sings more than Alex
-Miles swears

Just drink all the alcohol you have every time:
-they mention a guy
-it’s acoustic

Baekhyun watching I Got A Boy live...
  • Taeyeon: Ah, my prince!
  • Baekhyun: Me? Me? She's talking about me?!
  • Taeyeon: When are you gonna come and save me?
  • Baekhyun: Right now! I'm coming to save you right now!
  • Taeyeon: Who's that weird kid in the crowd yelling at me?
  • Tiffany: I think his name's Breadstick..
2

That time Jack “Art isn’t just for Lardo” Zimmermann decided to check out an art installation by himself and ended up covered in pink fuzz the rest of the night. Lmao! Look at his left shoulder and arm!!! (Read the tweets from bottom to top)

Read the comic at: omgcheckplease.tumblr.com

2

“They’re just kids now, and I got to decide whether the boy lives or the girl lives. If I was one of these kids, with my family, where I came from, I wouldn’t have bet on me. I I would have looked in my crystal ball and seen a druggie or a burnout or I would not have seen me as the guy who make the decisions. I would not have seen that coming.”

i. as a child i learned there were two kinds of cries - the regular-people-cry and my mother’s kind, the kind that comes from the soul, that rips through bones and shatters walls, that makes you want to shed your skin and disappear. i learned that the first kind is a good kind - you can comfort, you can help, but the second kind, the second kind leaves you feeling helpless - there is nothing you can do to stop the wailing, nothing you can do to ease the pain, nothing you can do to help her breathe in the air. the second kind is how i grew up. 

ii. have you ever walked into your house afraid you’d see a body dangling from the ceiling? i hope you never do.

iii. i started cutting at 13. before my first kiss. before my first drink. before the first cigarette i smoked, before i ever fell in love with a boy. i started cutting before i ever got a chance to live.

iv. sometimes i can’t breathe. 

v. sometimes i can’t breathe and sometimes i cry and sometimes it’s the first kind, but see, sometimes it’s the second kind and it feels like the world is collapsing inside my lungs. it feels like there is too much - too much pain and loneliness and love and desire. it feels like my skin is too thin and i feel pain even from the softest breeze. 

vi. i get sad so incredibly easily. i get sad and i don’t know how to fix it. i get sad, and lately, i’m tired of trying to fix it. 

vii. when i say i don’t think i’ll make it past 25 you laugh, because who says that and means it, especially on sunny mornings when nothing is wrong and nothing hurts and we’re together and i love you. who counts their own life down like that when there’s sun and babies who laugh and kitten videos on youtube?

viii. when i say i don't want to get married you think it’s a feminist stance, it’s a front, but it’s not, really, it’s not. it’s me loving you too much to make you listen to the second kind of cries for the rest of your life.

ix. when i say i don’t want a family it’s not because i don’t like kids, it’s because i love them and i don't want mine to ever feel helpless or insufficient. i don’t want my children to ever look at the floor when they come home, afraid they’ll see crimson splattered on the white walls. i don’t want pain for them, because see, life is hard already, and life will damage them anyway, and i don’t want to break them beyond repair before they can know their own happiness.

—  marina v., i had my funeral planned out since i was 16.
Soulmates Never Die

I had a dream that I was Ron,

Saving Harry from himself;

I followed Draco until I trusted no one,

And found Harry stuck inside a mirror,

Completely insane from the tortures he’d been through.

And all the while I knew

I had to find him, I had to help him,

I was the only one who could.

No one else left to save him;

I’m all he’s got; I have to pull through.

Draco tried to drown me,

A horse almost threw me,

A grindylow bit me and a centaur charged me;

But I kept fighting to get to him,

To save Harry from the world;

It’s selfish really; to save a dead man

Who should have died years ago;

I have to save him, I’m all he’s got,

and he’s all I’ve got:

He’ll forever be the boy who lived;

And I’ll forever be right by his side.