i go on vacation and this is what happens

Can I just talk about how important this press conference is to me. He just got back from Afghanistan after months of torture. He refused to go to the hospital and instead immediately went to a press conference. He could barely stand, and instead had everybody sit with him, but he showed up.

“We have become comfortable with a system of zero accountability” Tony’s first thought when he arrived home, now aware that bad people were using his weapons was to stop it. He didn’t go to the hospital or to his own home. He went to the public and told them.

‘Hey bad shit happened because of me, so I’m going to hold me accountable, and I’m gonna tell you what I’m going to do so you can hold me accountable too.’

Now when I get home from vacation the only thing I want to do is go home, and I don’t generally have emotionally scarring things happen during my vacations. I just miss my home. After months in Afghanistan I’m sure Tony did too. Yet he prioritized shutting down weapons to that. Which he should have, but it shows incredible strength of character. 

I’m just so proud of him as a character. Like good for you Tony.

one thing i like about King of the Hill is how the show always stayed rooted in reality, unlike other adult-oriented animated sitcoms 

like, anything that happened in King of the Hill could happen in real life and there was always a realistic justification for what was going on

like, ok, the Hills go to Japan on vacation. Why do they do that? Hank’s father, a WW2 veteran, was invited to a sort of post-war reconciliation event and Hank’s family was invited to join him. The episodes B-Plots are about Hank learning he has a Japanese half-brother and Bobby making friends with a Japanese girl by playing DDR with her. All of these things are grounded in reality, everything makes sense, nothing is outlandish about it.

Plus, the show was always super good-natured and respectful despite starring a conservative Texan white family.

like, yeah, the Hills were a bit ignorant, but they were always willing to learn and accept new things even if they were a bit reluctant at first. again, very grounded in reality. 

king of the hill was a really good natured show. i like it a lot. 

Killing a toxic co-workers hopes, dreams, and future.

Names changed for anonymity, happened a few years back. This is a long one so TL;DR at the bottom.

Background: I got a job working for a small hardware company. 4 people in the office, a few in the warehouse, and a delivery driver. Nothing fancy, but it got me off the night shift and onto a desk. The owner was a pretty nice guy, let’s call him Ray. Ray took over the family business in the early 2000s. Like most small business owners he was pretty frugal. The job came with absolutely zero perks. 10 vacation days that doubled as sick days, no insurance, everyone was hourly and Ray hated paying OT. He had one large customer that accounted for about half his business and everything after that was profit. He had gotten to the point where the business was doing well enough to support his comfortable life (10-3 schedule, 4 weeks vacation, season baseball tickets) and had zero interest in growing it beyond that point. But my problem was not with Ray, it was with the absolute b*tch in the purchasing department.

The players: Four people in the office meant that every part of this business fell to one of us. Ray was the owner, he negotiated large scale orders both with customers and suppliers. Sarah was our admin/receptionist, sweet as pie. I was in charge of order processing and logistics, and I did quite a bit of work revamping the company website. Ingrid (aka B*tch Supreme) handled small scale purchasing and most of the other customers.

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Next Gen Headcanon
  • i feel like the next gen on the morning of the 1st of September at the Burrow, is a lot like Home Alone™
  • everyone stayed the night at the Burrow
  • everyone
  • they’re all catching up with one another
  • telling each other about the vacations they went on, congratualating a few on promotions and awards, ranting about the stuff that has been happening at their sector of work, and what crazy magic their kids illegally did on their sibling that got them grounded for 3 weeks
  • all laughing and having great family time
  • but the morning of September 1st?
  • all hell breaks lose
  • parents yelling, animals going berserk, kids scrambling around trying to pack (because you know there is no way in hell they packed the night before, they were all too busy testing the latest Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes’ toys and tricks in the field by the burrow late into the night)
  • just the biggest, most hectic madness in the world
  • they have ministry cars that have been waiting on them for an hour but only leave the Burrow 15 minutes before the train leaves the station
  • the ministry cars hauling ass to get Kings Cross
  • everyone trying to calm down as they drive to the station, but something just doesn’t seem right
  • they try to shrug it off, until Hermione gasps, throws out her hands and clutches on to whatever she can to steady herself (which happens to be an alarmed George and a wincing Albus), and screams “HUGO
  • She immediately disapparates from the car, to the Burrow where she finds Hugo sitting at the kitchen table, eating the scraps of the porridge, already dressed in his robes, ready for his first day at Hogwarts
  • She runs over to him and pulls him into a tight, skull crushing hug, smoothing his hair and almost crying
  • “Mum, it’s oka - mum i know, i get it - we have to - MUM”
  • They all make it to Kings Cross just as the whistle blows for them to board
  • All the kids that are still attending Hogwarts flood onto the train to try and stuff themselves all into one compartment together
  • They wave and scream out the window to their enormous family, making a huge scene that all of them couldn’t care less about
  • The family waving them off, tears in their eyes, laughing to themselves
  • “Feels just like when we were scrambling to make it aboard back in the day”
  • “Yeah, but I wouldn’t have it any other way…”
  • “Well in that case, next time we could strap Fred and James into a jinxed car and make them travel that way too for old times sake”
  • “Shut up Ron”

All was well

Party Games - Stiles Stilinski & Theo Raeken [Smut]

Author: @writing-obrien

Character(S): Stiles Stilinski/Reader, Theo Raeken/Reader, Lydia Martin

Word Count: 5096

Notes: Drinking, Alcohol Abuse, Oral (both receiving - 69-ing), Slight Bondage, Orgasm Denial, ‘Toy’ use please don’t try this at home), marking, kinda angsty. Huge thanks to @stilinski-jpeg for being my actual angel and giving me encouragement on this and proof reading it because it’s ways different to anything I’ve done before. Also thanks to @dumbass-stilinski and @thelittlestkitsune for the incredible help they gave me all the way through, reading and checking it all.

Originally posted by negasonic-teenage-what-da-shit

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

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anonymous asked:

Hi, love your blog ^^ Now we know Agni died on the 28th of November so almost 2 weeks have passed since Ciel and Sebastian went in Bath so I was wondering, what the hell did they do all this time? I thought what was happening in the last chapters happened in just 1 day, but that seems not the case. So what do you think they did all this time when Lizzy is in danger? They really couldn't find Bravat and the Lords in all of this time?

Hey, thank you! ^^

Huh, you’re right. I didn’t even notice that yet, thanks for pointing it out. When Ciel and Sebastian were in Bath it was November, 15:

And Agni died on November, 28:

I, too, thought these two scenes were happening over the span of one or two days. I mean, Bath is not that far away and they went by train (or so it seems since they were standing in front of King’s Cross Station). And Ciel seemed to be in a hurry:

And when they arrived back in London, they immediately seemed to go back to the townhouse where they found Agni…

So what, indeed, happened in these two weeks in between Bath and Agni’s death??? Did Ciel and Sebastian take a vacation or what? XD That’s really strange. I would say that they came back from Bath earlier and investigated in London a bit but it really seems as if they just returned from Bath when they went back to the townhouse.


omgpurplebird13  asked:

I picture the bat family always getting stopped at customs when they go on a "normal civilian vacation". What do u think causes them to get stopped by security?

-knowing this family, they’ve probably got weapons hidden all over their bodies and now they have to explain why they have so many weapons on them

-with the number of times they’ve gotten injured, chances are that they have tons of metal pins and plates and whatnot so whenever they go through a metal detector it goes off

-Jason probably makes some sort of joke about causing trouble that a guard happens to overhear and then he gets pulled (the rest of the family do not let him live this down)

-Damian gets pulled because he’s Arabic and we all know how that works out (the rest of the family is indignant and makes sure that the security people are aware of that fact, the airport gets a few strongly worded emails from them)


A: Honestly, after everything that’s happened the past few months, I could use a vacation.
K: Let’s do it. Let’s go on a vacation, just the two of us, anywhere you want.
A: Really? Okay. I’ve always wanted to see what the Spirit World’s like.
K: Sounds perfect.

Happy Two Year Anniversary, Korrasami fandom! (Dec 19th) °˖ ✧◝(○ ヮ ○)◜✧˖ °

Testing a Theory.

I saw a post about a girl who had a profile where she made it so outlandishly “Treat me like the fucking queen I am” that she was even laughing at herself when she did it. Then, all of a sudden, she got more replies to that profile than any other one she created.

So I tried it out.

I wrote things like “I know how much I’m worth. Do you?” and “I don’t waste my time on men who aren’t going to spoiling me like I deserve - beautiful vacations, expensive dining, designer clothes and shoes, and that should just be the beginning.”

The profile got approved before I could add more than one blurry, unfocused photo and then the most incredible thing happened.

I had 10 responses in a few minutes. It’s been less than a day, and I’ve got over 50 responses already. Guys offering dates for over a grand. Shopping and dinner included. It’s like they want to prove their worth to me, and prove that they can be the guy who knows what I’m worth.


I look like the girl next door, and keep that air of innocence but make sure to be blunt about exactly how much I’m worth and what I want.

And they’re going for it.

Try it out. See if it’ll work for you. I will continue to post results of this study.

Vacations with Bf!Tom:

This is cute awww

Tags: @iamnesta 🥂


  • Since Tom is busy a lot, you guys are really excited to have some time off
  • You’ll probably go to a place not that popular
  • For privacy (if you know what I mean hehe)
  • Tom literally packing your entire apartment with you
  • “Darling we’ll be gone for like two weeks.“
  • “Is that our microwave?!“
  • “Most hotels don’t have one, we have to be prepared.”
  • You unpacking the microwave of course
  • Not gonna lie you make a little bit fun out him, cause he’s acting so weird

  • The both of you have to get up at like 4 am
  • You went out of bed first, to get ready
  • After you were done you come back to a still sleeping Tom
  • Taking the blanket away from him
  • “Oi y/n give that back!!!”
  • “Get up lazy boy we have to leave in 20 Minutes!”
  • He completely forgot about going on vacation, but as soon as you reminded him he acted like a little kid
  • Being worse than a Mum when it comes to hurrying
  • “Do we have, wait where are the, the towels were here I swear how could the-, oh wait never mind, found them!”
  • Grabbing his face with both hands
  • “Love relax it'a going to be okay, just breathe.”
  • He’d be such an excited mess awwww

  • A car picked you up from your apartment and drove you to the airport
  • You didn’t say that you went on vacation so you didn’t have to worry about Paparazzi
  • Once you arrived you did meet some fans
  • “Is it okay with you if go? I’m totally fine whe-”
  • “It’s okay, go make your fans happy.”
  • After giving you a quick peck on the lips he said “When im finished I’ll be all yours.”
  • “Well then you better hurry lover boy.”
  • While he was taking pictures and talking to his fans you bought some food
  • And by some food, I mean a lot of food
  • After buying the food, you joined Tom and his fans
  • They highkey loved you (cause I’m 100% about supporting your idols s/o)
  • You’d fly on this fancy private jet (the one that has stark industries on it cause ahhhh goals)
  • The fight was kind of long, since you wanted to go as far away as possible
  • Taking a lot of naps together
  • Watching tons of movies and shows
  • The both of you would be kind of sleepy
  • But once you arrived all the tiredness was gone
  • Like you both were excited like little kids
  • You stayed at this really cool place in Y/D/L (your dream location)

  • After you got to your rooms, you immediately started to explore the city
  • Tom acting like he knows he’s doing but he clearly doesn’t
  • „Are we lost? I think we are.“
  • „No we’re not! I studied the map, look there is, Wait, no, hold on.., let me ju-.“
  • „Maybe it would help if you turn the map in the actual position it’s supposed to be.“
  • Blushing!Tom cause he wanted to impress you awwwww
  • In the end you found a really cute place at the Peer
  • Going to a cute little restaurant
  • „How did we get a seat so fast? We didn’t even.. oh my god we didn’t stood in the queue!!“
  • „Calm down love, I called them earlier to save some seats for us.“
  • You wondering how you got such a beautiful human as your boyfriend
  • Cause same
  • He’s amazing

  • Okay but Tom would highkey one of those people who want to see everything of the country
  • Everything
  • They got bakeries who sell stuff you didn’t knew about? You’re going
  • They got Restaurants with weird food? You’re going
  • Basically just seeing literally every part of the country

  • Hikes or wandering?
  • Yup it’s more likely than you think
  • “Let..me…breathe… for… ten….seconds….please.”
  • “C’mon darling, it’s only been two hours since we started!”
  • “I’m sorry, let’s take quick break. I still need you alive.”
  • What a nice boyfriend he is that little fucker
  • “And it’s enough to have one superhero in a relationship., I mean I-“
  • “DON’T!!!!!!!11!1!1!1”
  • “I’m spiderman.”
  • And that’s when he run away
  • That little child
  • “What aren’t you going to chase after me?? Are you that weak?”
  • Boy your temperature would rise to the gods
  • “Tell me I’m slow, it’s fine. Tell me I need forever, it’s fine. But you can NEVER tell me that I am weak, so you better start running Holland!”
  • Literally everyone would stare at you guys
  • Like who wouldn’t?
  • Why are those weirdos running around, screaming at each other????

  • After some time you would stop cause your lungs hurted like hell
  • You kind of forgive him
  • You’d sit down, looking at the city how romantic
  • „Thank you.“
  • „For what?“
  • „For staying with me all these years.“
  • „It’s a pleasure loving you Holland!”
  • „Jeez Y/N and you say I’m the hopeless romantic.“
  • „Well what can I say, you’re doing things to me and my body.“
  • „If that’s so, why don’t we go back to the hotel my love.“
  • Now I want this
  • Hmu Tom

Caught: Daddykink!Ashton

Request: Can u do a smut about Ashton being ur dads best friend and u have a crush on him. And one night u were home alone cause ur parents went to visit ur grandma so u invited one of ur guy friends and when u were about to do it with him Ashton came and made the boy leave and punishes u with his daddy kink

Requested by: crazyfandommasterlist

A/N: HI guys I’m so excited to post this first smut on my page. I’ve written smut for years but have never published it. I hope you guys like it but that you understand that is very graphic and sexual in nature. Therefore if you are not comfortable with that please do not read. Thanks you all so much, enjoy!

I was sitting in my room doing homework when my parents call me down stairs. Groaning, I get up from my desk and trudge down stairs. When I walk into the living room they are both sitting on the couch and my dad’s best friend Ashton is sitting in one of the chairs. I stop dead in my tracks and cross my arms awkwardly. If I would have known Ashton was here I would have changed and ran down to them immediately. I’ve always thought he was extremely attractive and have slowly fallen in love with him over the years. His laugh is intoxicating, his music so full of soul, and his heart being the kindest I’ve ever encountered. As I’ve gotten older I’ve almost felt like he’s feeling the same way, but sadly I can never know for sure and even if he did there was no way he would act on those feelings. To him I’m probably just his mate’s kid.  

“Y/N sit down, honey.” My mom says and I do calmy, but also very confused on what is happening.

My dad sighs. “So you’re not going to like this, but since we are going to be on vacation all next week and you have to stay home for school, we want Ashton to check in on you every now and then just to make sure you’re okay…”

I scoff. “Like a babysitter?” I’m eighteen years old and my parents can even trust me to stay home by myself, how typical. “This is ridiculous…” I say, but then trail off. Ashton and I by ourselves with my parents away? Who knows what could happen… but still I’m not a child and this is my senior year.

“I know you want to be treated like an adult, but we worry.” My mom says.

Nodding and shrugging still I look over at Ashton and he finally speaks up. “I promise I won’t be too… overbearing…”

A few days have passed since that conversation with my parents. Since they are out I thought I’d take advantage of this opportunity. I pick up my phone and dial Sam. Sam and I have strictly friends with benefits. Hell not even really friends. We mess around and fuck from time to time and then we just leave each other alone. It’s not my ideal situation, I mean I’d like to be in an actual relationship with someone some day, but it’s been since anyone has shown any interest and well… a girl has got needs. Sam says he’s on his way and I freshen up a bit.

“It’s Sam.” He says coming inside knowing I left the door unlocked for him.

I call back to him turning off the tv. “Upstairs.”

He comes up stairs and kicks his shoes off immediately along with taking his hoodie off. “How are you?”

“About to be a whole lot better you?” I say waiting for him.

“Agreed…” He mumbles and pulls me down to sit with him on the bed. “You ready to go?” I nod and he kisses me roughly.

For a while we just get warmed up by making out and running our hands over each other. He takes his shirt off and swiftly pulls me onto his lap. I can feel myself getting more and more worked up as he grasps my hips to help me firmly to grind against him.

“Fuck Y/N…” He says.

“Yeah, What the fuck Y/N?!” A voice other than Sam’s rings through the room and we both jump in shock to see Ashton standing in the doorway.

“Ashton?!” I say confused and embarrassed.

He comes up to me pulls me off of Sam’s lap and looks at Sam with a look that could kill. “Get out…. Now.”

Sam picks up all of his stuff and practically runs out of the door. “Ashton! Are you serious that’s so un-!” I go to start yelling and complaining, but he pulls me close to him and gives me the same look he gave Sam.

“Is this what you do when your parents are away? Invite boys over to fuck you? Can you imagine what your parents would say about this Y/N? Do you have any idea how much trouble your in?” He asks deeply and roughly.

Quietly I whimper out. “Please don’t tell them….”

He sighs heavily and lets me go. “Sit on the bed.” I give him a strange and confused look. “Sit. On. The. Bed.” He repeats, obviously not pleased. I do as he says and become suddenly aware that I’m still only in a bra and cloth shorts. I cross my arms over myself feeling very vulnerable in front of him.  “Y/N I’m not going to tell your parents you’re eighteen for god’s sake.” He says sharply, obviously still pissed and pauses walking up to me and placing one of his huge muscular hands on my cheek caressing it with his thumb. “But you still need to be punished darling… and I think you and I both know Daddy’s the one you want to punish you.”

I look at him shocked and gasp surprised at his forwardness. Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? Fuck I need to say something, just do it. “Yes, Daddy.” I shyly and quietly say.

Ashton wraps a hand around my throat firmly in the most intoxicating way. “Louder princess…”

“Yes, Daddy.” I say more confidentiality, but my voice still quivering.

He growls. “On my lap.” He demands sitting on my bed and I follow his directions immediately. “Good girl, of course now you can listen….” I smile a little bit, even though I’m so nervous I’m almost shaking. “Now even though you need to be punished if you need to stop your safeword is pineapples. Tell me if you understand.”

“I understand Daddy.” I say and I can feel his fingers slowly unhooking my bra and letting it fall to the floor.

He groans and massages them lightly with his hands. I gasp at the coldness and the sudden touch. “Oh babygirl you are so beautiful… take the rest of your clothes off for Daddy, yeah?” He asks and I stand up a little awkwardly stripping for him. “So beautiful, you are a masterpiece Y/N… get back here.” He commands, and again, I follow his orders but this time he stops me in front of him. He runs his hands all over my skin and curves while turning me in a slow circle. He then takes his clothes off besides his boxers and stands in front of me. I reach out to finally feel his body but he bats my hand away. “You haven’t even been punished yet…”

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” I tell him and he smiles a small smile before sitting on the bed and draping me over his lap.  

“Count them or you’ll get more…” He warns spanking my butt making me wince in pain and moan in pleasure. In all the fantasies I’ve ever had of Ashton I never dreamed he would have ever been as kinky as I’ve always been but now I’ve been proven wrong.

He spanks me 20 times by the time he’s done there are tears running down my cheeks. Ashton pulls me up and hold me close. “It’s okay… Daddy’s here… I’ve got you.” He whispers his tone and demeanor completely changing. I pull back and look at him for a moment and then with a leap of faith I kiss him. He’s kissing me back and it’s the most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced, My breath is almost taken away by it. He immediately, then shifts us so that I’m on my back and he’s hovering over me. He kisses down my body and I wrap my fingers up in his hair.

“Daddy.” I moan once he gets to my heat and starts softly teasing my clit.

He chuckles and yanks his boxers off throwing them somewhere out of view. We start kissing again and he thrusts into me roughly making me squeal a little in pain. He holds me close, whispering that it’s okay and that he’s got me in between hard thrusts. “You feel so much better than I ever imagined fuck.” He groans.

Meanwhile, I’m moaning and whimpering too much to even respond, but soon he flips me over and stands me on all fours. I moan loudly at the new position while tightly grasping at the bed sheets. With one hand he reaches under me and rubs my clit, making my pleasure even more intense than before and he used the other to firmly hold onto my hip which I’m positive with have a handprint on it even tomorrow. “Who’s your Daddy?” He asks groaning.

I moan out getting so incredibly close to my orgasm. “You are Daddy, oh my god I’m close.”

“Hold for Daddy, baby girl, just a minute longer.” He tells me and I try as hard as possible and when my legs start shaking he finally gives me the okay.  

I hit my high so hard and I know he hits his when I feel his load on my butt and lower back. “Oh god.” I gasp, still feeling the orgasm race through my veins.

“I’ll be right back.” He whispers.

Ashton disappears for a minute and then I feel him wipe the cum off of me. He picks me up in his hard and carries me to the shower, which I can know hear water running from.

He takes me into the shower and lets the warm water hit us both. Then kissing me passionately and roughly and whispers. “I love you.”

I look up at him. “You do?”

He nods. “I have for awhile… and seeing you with that… that… that kid I couldn’t take it anymore, you had to be mine…”

“W-what about my parents?” I ask confused. “They would never accept us… they think you’re like my uncle…”

“Thought maybe I could follow you to whatever college you decide on… keep us for a secret for a while… find the right time eventually or maybe not…. But I mean all that only if you’d want me too…” He explains still holding me close.

My eyes light up in happiness, and I pull him down and kiss him. “I love you too… and I like that plan a lot.”

He chuckles. “I’m glad… This isn’t the way I was planing to tell you by the way. Thought we’d go on some dates first or something. Something more romantic… you deserve more that a surprise fuck.”

I laugh and blush at him. “We can still do that… I’d like that a lot.”

“Well, I mean I could just take you to my place while your parents are away… watch over you a little more closely… I mean just for your safety obviously…” He winks at me.

“Only if you help me pack.” I tease him playfully.

“You got yourself a deal baby, I love you.” He says.

I grin at him and kiss him softly. “I love you too Daddy.”

anonymous asked:

I forgot whether I sent a request in like this or not so I guess I'll just do it again. What would sexting with kang daniel and/or ong be like? I really hope you enjoyed your vacation!!! My family is planning to go to Europe soon too! <3

A/N: Ohhh that’s really cool, where are you planning to go? ^^ 


  • knowing Ong, sexting would happen mainly whenever he is away with schedules or just too busy to come home
  • he would use it mainly to get you in the mood and for him to relieve some of the stress
  • it won’t be a regular thing, he would rather surprise you with his texts and pictures
  • it would happen at a random time; you would be in the kitchen preparing dinner when you will receive a text
  • “babe… I just can’t stop thinking about you on top of me”
  • “moving slowly as my hands grip your thighs and my fingers play with your core”
  • “wish I could do that right now”
  • it would come with no explanation and it would all be just straight to the point
  • he won’t wait too much for your response before he texts you again
  • “what are you wearing right now, baby? can I see you? I miss your body so much”
  • after you proceed to send him a more flattering picture of yourself in that underwear he loved so much on you
  • he would be fast to text you back
  • things are going to get heated fast with Seongwoo
  • “since I can’t touch you right now, baby, would you do it for me?”
  • he would be a mess himself by now, but he would enjoy being in control and making you weak in your knees
  • “when I get home I hope I am going to see you in the new black lingerie I bought for you”
  • “I am going to rip it off and kiss you all over; sucking on your breasts as my fingers massage your wet pussy”
  • “damn babygirl, I love it when I can feel you almost dripping and that sweet taste in my mouth when I stuck my tongue deep inside you”
  • “I am going to be home soon, kitten and I am going to ravage you as soon as I walk through that door”
  • “you better prepare cause by the end of the night, all your neighbours will know you belong to Ong Seongwoo”


  • “hey princess… I know I am usually not like this, but I am at the practice room and all I can think of right now is bending you over the kitchen counter and have it rough with you” 
  • sexting with Daniel would be rare because this boy usually lets his actions speak for himself when he is in the mood 
  • however, he loves it when you send him a teasing pic showing a little bit more of your cleavage than necessary
  • or maybe a simple peek at your underwear 
  • Daniel’s texts are usually very vivid and explicit and he always tells you exactly what he wants to do to you 
  • or sometimes what he wants you to do to him 
  • after you respond to him with an equally teasing text message; Daniel would feel like he caught on fire 
  • he won’t be able to think about anything else other than your small frame trembling underneath him 
  • “I can’t wait to be inside you. You are always so wet and sweet whenever you wait for me late at night in nothing but my shirt”
  • “I wanna have your lips around my lenght and my hands in your hair as you suck me off”
  • “Then I am going to ride you all night long on that counter as you moan softly in my ear” 
  • “I am gonna bite your neck harshly and have my hand wrapped around your neck, that expensive red lipstick you bought yesterday is going to be all smudged”
  • “You are going to get angry because of it… but damn, you are so god damn sexy when you are angry”
  • his texts are usually very passionate, but sexy to make you want him and anticipate what is going to happen once he gets home 
  • “I wanna pull at your hair as you tell me to go faster and moan my name out loud” 
  • “God, I am feeling so needy right now. I just can’t get enough of you kitten, you always feel so damn good inside me”
richie tozier the legend

so, @eddiesbadbreak and @eddiekasp and I were in TEARS the other day over the idea of adult richie tozier being super connected and up to date with the high school kids and community so here we go :

-Richie goes to Dunkin Donuts every morning before work and gets his breakfast : black coffee and a cinnamon donut. He becomes friends with the employees there, and it gets to a point where his order his ready for him when he comes in every morning.

-“Here’s your coffee Mr. Tozier, your donut with be right out!”

-He tips HUGE and the kids literally argue over who gets to bring him his order.

-Sometimes he sits down and talks to the kids and they catch him up on what is going down at school

“Mr. Tozier, you won’t believe what happened yesterday at school.”

“Marcus, sit your ass down and tell me everything.”


“So Benny is cheating on Grace with Ashley?”

“Yeah, but listen Mr. Tozier, the quaterback of the football team-”


“Yeah, Jeffrey and Benny have been hooking up too-”


“I know!!!”


“I haven’t seen Brenda lately, is she on vacation?”

“No Mr. Tozier she got fired last week.”

“Tell me everything Jared.”


-Everyone calls him Mr. Tozier

-Every time Richie and Eddie go out, it feels like they hear “Yeah Mr. Tozier!!” then Eddie yells back, “We are MARRIED!!!”

-Whenever the kids see Eddie they ask about Richie

“Hey Mr. Tozier hows the other Mr. Tozier?”

“He’s doing fine, Emma.”

“Tell Mr. Tozier I said hi! Bye Mr. Tozier!”


-Richie becomes the football announcer for all of the games and all of the kids love it because he over shares.

“And there goes Jacob Hudson! He’s coming in hot! This defense can’t seem to catch him! AaaaaaND TOUCHDOWN!!! What a great play, what a great kid, it’s truly a shame that his girlfriend is cheating on him, WHAT A NIGHT FOLKS!!!”


“Alright everybody it is now time for our player spotlight for tonight’s game. Tonight we have the one, the only, Rrrrrodger Rrrrranks! And folks let me tell you this kid has been playing the game since he could hold a football. Lets pray he makes it to the big time because this kid can’t make a cup of coffee for his life folks! Sorry Rodg, you suck at the food game, but not this game! Aaaand THAT’S tonight’s spotlight folks.”


-They sell tickets to the games solely because Richie is announcing.

-Eddie and Richie donate money to the school

-Richie chaperones at all of the school dances but he spikes the punch and ends up being the life of the party

-At the end of the school year, Richie throws a massive party at his big ass Beverly Hills mansion house.

-He picks four seniors and gets them to help him set up and plan the party. He lets them hire a DJ, make the guest list, and get the house ready.

-He fills the bottom of his pool with hundreds of red glow sticks

-He buys SO MUCH BOOZE and hires bartenders

-Eddie sets up a key jar and buys a bunch of condoms. He locks he & Richie’s bedroom but leaves the guest rooms open and leaves a bowl of condoms by the stairs.

-Richie calls the cab company and pays for them to be ready to drive kids home who have had too much to drink

-Richie gets super dressed up, he wears his red suit and yellow dress shoes and he slicks his hair back. He looks like a gameshow host

-All of the kids love his outfits and compliment him

-Richie gets hammered and stands of the roof, takes off his suit jacket and all the kids start yelling “TOZIER TOZIER TOZIER TOZIER” and he cannon-ball’s into the pool off the roof.

-Some of the girls get super drunk and try to flirt with him but Richie just laughs at them

-The next morning there are at least ten kids passed out somewhere in their house.

-Eddie goes around with a broom and pokes them awake then calls them a cab.

-Richie is super hungover

-Kids who couldn’t drive home stop by throughout the day to pick up their keys and their cars

-The Toziers are known as local legends

“We was on a boat, and I had the best time. I was like ‘Man, this is great!’ And then she had to leave and I was, like, crushed. I was like ‘Man, I don’t even feel like this, like, what is happening to my body right now?!’ And I was just like ‘Don’t go.’ I was like ‘Did I just say [that?!]’ All of this was new for me. ‘Don’t leave.’“

Jay-Z and Beyoncé, photographed while on vacation in Saint-Tropez, France on July 4, 2002. This was one of Hov’s first international vacations since entering the music game; and one of the first public displays of his and Bey’s blossoming relationship.

The month-long European vacation wasn’t all relaxation for Jay though. While in Capri, Italy he stopped by a studio where friend Mariah Carey had escaped to to record music for her ninth studio album Charmbracelet. While there Hov heard her Just Blaze-produced and Freeway-featuring track “You Got Me,” and asked if he could drop a verse. Can you guess who he was referring to? “ 

“Mami, got me, buying property
Speeding too fast, high velocity
Coppin’ bracelets, baby rock piece
Vacay, Saint-Tropez and Capri
And usually I be on my shit
Harlem Shakin’ these groupies off me quick
But this time it’s diff
Think the love gon’ stick
Like Velcro, let go, hell no
Ma, you know you got me…”

anonymous asked:

I know requests are closed but can we have some like cute fluffy smutty niall blurb? Where you guys go on vacation for the first time as a couple?


A/N: What happens when Niall goes to Ibiza and my disgust with Goulet peaks???  This.  Shout out to my girls for helping me work out the kinks!

When Niall suggested a quick getaway to Ibiza you were ecstatic.  When he also told you a gaggle of Devines and Matt Goulet would be along for the ride, you immediately refused to go.

“Babe c’mon!  Goulet’s got this hook up for a private yacht and Deo’s really excited to see Dua Lipa.”  Niall was close to begging, his big blue eyes pleading while he made his most pathetically adorable puppy face at you.

You groaned and slumped back into the couch dramatically.  “Fine.  But I’m not speaking to Goulet the entire time we’re there.  And if I hear him name drop you one time I’m totally kicking him in the throat.” You crossed your arms defiantly and set your mouth in a deep pout.  A wide smile broke out across Niall’s face and his eyes lit up with excitement.  He draped himself over your body and peppered kisses across the soft skin of your jaw and neck until you were a giggling mess underneath him.  When you finally caught your breath he pulled back and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips.  

“S’gonna be sick darlin’, no interviews, no schedule.  Just sun, drinks, swimming, and music.”

You quirked your head slightly, a question bubbling up before you could really think about it.  “Wait.  Why is Deo so excited to see Dua Lipa?  I didn’t know he was into her music.”  Niall rolled his eyes and sighed.

“He thinks they might be soulmates ‘cause her name is Dua and his name is Deo.”

“Niall.  Please tell me you’re fucking joking.”

“Hand t’God.  Told me that himself.”

You closed your eyes and tried to comprehend the adorable idiocy of Niall’s cousin.  Unfortunately there was no way around it, Deo had outdone himself on this one.  “Ok, but that’s not even his real name and - you know what?  I don’t even have a response for that.  Fucking Deo.”

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Frequent Flier: Things to Consider Before, During, and After Traveling with Your SD

Remember, I’m a bit controversial and I am far more concerned with your happiness and safety as an SB, best friend, than I am with blindly agreeing to the “wisdom” of the bowl. You are free to accept or reject everything I am about to say and we will still be the best of friends. Ready? Let’s start this by saying congratulations! Not only do you have an SD you have one that doesn’t make empty promises and has not only said he wants to travel but has started talking about dates and destinations. Congrats, sis! But we have some things to consider before you go jet setting and making us jealous of the fabulous places you’ll go. It’s not a short list but I think we can make it through together. 


 Decide how much of your personal information is personal. 

There are SB’s that don’t tell their SD a single true thing about them. There are others that work for their SD and have given him all of the information he would need to be their legal employer. There are others that have given him only a first and last name. Maybe a birthday. How much you have decided to share with him is absolutely your business and your decision. If you trust him, or the legal system, enough to share that type of information, I’m not here to judge you. But if you haven’t made the decision yet and the man may or may not be buying plane tickets soon now is the time to decide. If he’s great for money but not so much at inspiring your confidence and trust, maybe keep your name to yourself. If you all have built a genuine connection over a long period of time and you wouldn’t hesitate to tell him anything, go for it. If you have so much of his personal information (up to and including his credit card information) that his knowing your legal name wouldn’t stop you from crushing him if he crossed you then baby go right ahead and tell him. However, if you don’t want him anywhere near the name your mama and the government use for you…

 Decide if you’re getting a DBA or going to have a chat with him about transferring you the money 

Transferring it is the easiest. Or he can hand you a credit card and walk away while you fire up your laptop and buy the tickets yourself just sending his along when you’re done. If he’s nervous about transferring the money, have him buy you an airline gift card for the amount of the flight. If he fusses and whines about doing anything that doesn’t involve him holding your state issued ID in his hands despite the fact that you’ve told him you’re uncomfortable…well…I don’t have to tell you to leave him do I? 

 Decide if you’ll share a room

 There’s no right or wrong answer to this. Shocking I know. Especially since the general consensus in the bowl is that you should always have your own room. But different strokes for different folks. If you still have concerns for your safety around this man and that’s why you want a different room might I suggest not traveling with him just yet? If you want a different room because you want it and he can afford it then rock the fuck on sis and get your separate room. Just tell him that you want each of you to enjoy the trip and part of enjoying it is making sure you each have your space to decompress. It doesn’t mean you won’t be in his room until three am eating gummy worms and watching re-runs of Martin. It just means that if you need to be alone, you can be. Speaking of being alone… 

Decide how much (if any) time you’ll need away from him and what you’ll do during that time 

If you are an introvert like me, you need time away from everyone. The idea of spending all of your time around people, no matter how much you love them, makes you want to dive under your bed never to reappear. Don’t pretend like that isn’t who you are! Don’t think that it’ll be okay just this once. It won’t. You’ll be miserable. Your misery will make him miserable. You will both have a horrible vacation that may ruin the relationship you’re trying to build with him and his wallet. Be honest with yourself. I spent two hours away from my gift daddy when we went on vacation. It happened in the morning. I worked out and I called my mother. He knew it ahead of time. He didn’t resent the time I spent away from him. In fact, he asked me every day over breakfast how that time had gone. He even asked if I needed more time. That’s why I beg you, if you need time apart know how you’re going to spend that time. Do it for him, sure. He’s less likely to gripe about it if he knows before you even leave that that’s what you’ll be doing. But mainly do it for you. Because it’s nice to have something to look forward to. Because wasting your time doing nothing in particular and then realizing that it’s time to go be with him is annoying. Because plans are cool and we should all make more of them. 

 Decide on your money 

Are you getting paid to go on this trip? No right or wrong answer to this either. I didn’t get paid to travel per se. But I did spend several thousand dollars buying furniture immediately after and because of this trip. I did get an iPhone. I did spend far more money that I thought he would let me on clothes and art for my home. So while I didn’t get that envelope full of cash I did feel compensated for my time. If you are getting paid it is up to you to decide how much you want. If you’re taking off work, but don’t have vacation time, do you want enough to cover the money you won’t make? If you’re taking off, but do have vacation time, do you want enough to cover what you would have made if you stayed? Do you just want a stupid crazy shopping spree before during and after the trip? I do not care what you decide you want or how much. I just want you to decide and then open up your mouth and ask. If he asks why you need the amount you need or puts up any other kind of fight… 

 Decide how you’ll handle his objections 

Do this in advance too. It is perhaps one of the most important things you can do. Don’t wait until he asks to have an answer. Have it plotted out now so you can speak with confidence. What will be your answer if he asks why you need money? If perhaps missing money means you shouldn’t travel? If he asks why you need separate rooms or why you should spend time apart? If you can’t give him your legal name? I’m willing to help you answer these questions but only if you come to me with some answers of your own. I want to help. I don’t want to do your work for you. Sorry, girl. Still love you though. 

 Decide that at any time you can walk away from this trip and him 

Do not become so excited about traveling that you put yourself in danger or do things that don’t feel good to you or accept behavior from him that pushes you outside your comfort zone. Fuck him. You are in charge of your life and Vegas isnt’ going anywhere. If he can’t respect you enough to take you on your terms then someone else will. Chill out. Walk away.

 Decide who your safety buddy is 

Decide who you will check in with to make sure everything is okay. Decide when you will check in with them. Decide how often. Decide on what the plan is if you don’t check in. And make sure they have all of your flight and accommodation information. If you both have iPhones turn on your location. If not get the be safe app. Or WhatsApp which also allows you to share your location with others. My buddy was my mom cause she’s the coolest person ever and one of my best friends but if that isn’t the case with you find a friend or even someone on tumblr to check in with. If you have WhatsApp, I’ll be that person if you need someone else. 

 Decide when and where you’re going shopping and buy more than just clothes 

Sure you want to buy all of the clothes. And you should. But there’s also a few other things to consider. Like condoms. Mainly condoms. Don’t be the girl that has to hear that he forgot to pack them or forgot to buy them when you guys got off the plane and can’t you just not use them this one time? Nope. Have your own. Have some lube and some toys too if you really wanna blow his mind. Actually definitely have lube and toys to go along with those condoms (make sure the condoms can handle the lube you’re buying. Bonus points if you buy condoms at a sex shop. They can just answer your questions for you if you have any.). Be prepared for everything. Don’t leave anything in his hands. Your safety is your first priority not his. 


 Remember you’re working 

This man invited you on this trip because you are an accessory, a new toy, a shiny thing. You are there to enhance his experience. And I’m sure he didn’t tell you that. Men never do just tell the whole truth no matter how it makes us feel unless they’re a particular breed of asshole. But that’s why I’m here to tell it to you. This trip ain’t about you. You are there for him. You are there to make his day better. You are there for his entertainment and amusement. Want to complain that you’re bored, or not having fun, or want to go home and it isn’t because you are having some type of bodily issue that needs to be addressed immediately? Text a friend. When he’s there, you’re on. Be yourself of course. Please don’t try to pretend to be someone else. It’s exhausting. But don’t ever forget that you’re at work. He’s on vacation.

 Remember you’re human and take care of yourself 

I didn’t stop putting my hair in a satin cap because I was on vacation. I didn’t decide to completely fuck up my skin by sleeping in my make up. I didn’t stop taking Lush baths. I didn’t stop working out. I didn’t stop reading. Don’t stop doing the things you need to do to feel happy and at peace with yourself. Please. You’re doing he and yourself a disservice if you do. If you’ve talked to him enough about who you are, he knows some of your little habits and quirks. He won’t be shocked. And if he is oh well. But in most cases, men love feeling like they’re getting the “real us”. He’ll love that you look the way you do when he isn’t around because as sexy as the Siren is sometimes we like knowing there’s something behind her. Bonus points if you only let him see that side of you when you travel somewhere. He’ll begin to associate exotic locales with the “real” you. Wouldn’t that be fun? 

 Remember to talk/text your safety buddy 

Because what’s the point of having them if you don’t use them. Remember to keep your return ticket on you at all times Do we hope them man you’ve traveled with isn’t a monster? Yes. Should we make sure that if you need to get the fuck out of dodge the airline ticket that you need isn’t stuck in a hotel room that you can’t get access to because it isn’t in your name? At all times girl. Have that ticket and enough money to transfer a flight or stay in a hotel or do both. Take care of you. 

 Remember to have him take a million pictures of you 

Okay, if you’re going to use the internet to find your SD (at least use Tinder or some other vanilla app) having pictures of you in fun places doing fun things are excellent for advertising and you don’t have to pay a dime for them. Get your picture taken in those clothes you made him buy! Remember to spend time in places that align with your goals I made my gift daddy take me to museums and stare at art with me while I prattled away about why it mattered and how it gave me ideas for my own business. I dragged him through art fairs. Before we left he took me to a book store and asked if there were books he could get me that would be helpful. 

Remember you’re at work and part of that work is bringing him into your world. 

Even on vacation, you’re a bitch with goals. Don’t let him forget it. Remember to have fun It’s work. But it’s work you chose with a man you, hopefully, don’t hate completely. When there’s a moment for you to have fun, have it! Have all of it! Have so much that you know you’ll never forget it. We get to live the type of life that girls dream about it. We should live it up, appreciate it, when we can especially since we worked so hard to get here. 


 There’s only one thing I need to say here but it is important. If you can travel with a man for one day or one hundred and he has a great time, he will feel differently about you. He will feel connected and bonded to you. He will feel like he shares an emotional tie with you that he can’t share with anyone else. And what do we know? We know that people like to give their money to people they trust, people they like, people they feel they have a connection with. When you come home, if y’all had a great time, don’t let him forget you had a great time. When he wants to talk about the trip you had, the crazy amazing things you did with those sex toys and lube, the places you took him, talk it up! It was the best time of your life too girl and made you feel so connected. Then bring up those goals you wanted or that gift you were interested in (with some tact please) but if y’all had as good a time as you say you did he’ll bring it up on his own. My GD offered to buy me furniture for my place and we were barely off the plane. 

What do you think, sis? Any of this make sense? Any of it make you want to pop me because it’s so outlandish? Message me or tell me in the comments. And if you have any questions I can answer for you privately or on anon send them over. I’m clearing out my inbox over the weekend. Love your black ass, girl. Happy sugaring

Worried Sick

Originally posted by violet624

A/N: This has taken my absolutely ages to complete.

Tags: @sofuckingchuffed, @sonnshineandrainbows. Thank you for your help @writefasttalkevenfaster and @minidodds

It took you a few moments to realize what had woken you. Your eyes flew open as the sound of Rafael retching reached your ears. Throwing back the bed covers, you rushed into the bathroom to find him throwing up in the toilet. You knelt down behind him, rubbing his back in soothing circles, feeling terrible that there wasn’t anything more you could do at that point. After what seemed like forever, he let go of the toilet bowl and sank back on the floor.

“Want some water?”

Rafael nodded mutely and you rushed into the kitchen to grab him a glass. When you returned, you found him curled up on the floor, clutching his abdomen.

“Rafael!” you cried, dropping to your knees. “What’s wrong?”

He groaned, face plastered to the cold tiles on the bathroom floor. Placing the back of your hand gently on his cheek, you grimaced at the burning heat emanating from his brow, not to mention the beads of sweat that were forming on his forehead.

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Finding Home (Part 1)

Steve x Reader

Modern Day AU

Summary: US Army Capt Steve Rogers has never had a family of his own, but after receiving a random card while on deployment - he suddenly feels like he has one. Sometimes home can be a place, sometimes it can be a person, and sometimes it’s a place you’ve never been. A story of love, family, and home.

*based on the movie The Christmas Card*

You sit at the counter of Maria’s Diner, munching some fries as you thought about what to write.   After seeing a special on the war, you went to your father, an Army veteran, and asked how you could help.  He had told you that what soldiers wanted most was a taste of home.   That is what they missed and craved most, they wanted normalcy.  So after finding out through a local service group that you could send something to a random soldier you signed up and a week later you had an address.  

“Writing a love note Y/n?” You look up to see Maria standing in front of you leaning on the counter. You snort at her and roll your eyes.

“No, you know there isn’t a man in this town I would date.  I know them all too well.  This is for a soldier.  I just want to brighten someone’s day.  Problem is, I don’t know what to write.”  You look down at the blank card furrowing your brows.

Maria let out a hum, “Write it as if you were writing to a friend.  That’s what these soldier’s want right?  Something not so military.”

You laugh at her scrunched up nose as she said the word military.  You smooth down the open notecard and began writing, when you had finished you placed a selfie of you and your parents in front of your parent’s farmhouse inside and sealed the envelope before asking whoever was listening that this card brings someone comfort.

US Army Capt Steve Rogers had been deployed for 6 months when a random card was found in his bunk after a mail call.  This was far from normal, Steve never got mail.  His best friend however, Bucky, a handsome dark haired Sargent, always received goodie boxes from his wife Natasha.  Steve on the other hand didn’t have a family.  Both his parents had died when he was young, he entered the military as soon as he was able.  The Army had been his family for most of his life.   So when he saw the small cream envelope he was shocked.   Dropping his gear careless on the floor beside him he picked up the small envelope and inspected it carefully.  Opening the envelope like it was made of glass, he pulled out the card allowing your photo to fall on his lap, while he began reading your words.

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