i gets harder

sorry but it’s 1 am and I feel some type of way, a yearning for a more simple time in my life when I wasn’t on the chase for something and was 100% unsure of my self but just kicked back and headed into the unknown, when I had a boyfriend by my side who wasn’t at all what I wanted and I’m unsure if I ever loved, but who I spent spring and summer days drifting away with in his cute little suburban neighborhood, only a bus stop away from mine.

and now it’s all gone by so fast, and here I am 2-3 years later, still a little unsure of myself. the picture is clearer and the ride is rougher than I could’ve ever imagined. relationships and every other outcome got so much more intense and real that I felt compelled to build walls around myself. life is hard. flash forward another 2-3 years, and I imagine it’s only going to get harder. I just want to bathe in simplicity once in a while but there’s no real passion in there. 

8

You truly scare me. I just want to let you know that.

Shout out to the verbally abused kids who are told it doesn’t count because there are no bruises.
Shout out to the abused kids who aren’t taken seriously because they were acting up/asking for it/there are no marks to ‘prove’ it.
Shout out to the manipulated kids whose parents guilt them into thinking they deserve those shitty words and actions they get.
Shout out to everyone and anyone who is abused or has been abused.
You are strong and wonderful and I hope that one day you can get away and be happy and have the life you want.
No one deserves that kind of treatment. I love you.

The problem with writing outside the homestuck fandom is that homestuck makes writing in-character so easy. Homestuck is long af and full of pesterlogs to examine. They’re easy to find, easy to pick apart, full of well-developed verbal patterns specific to every character, even color-coded with character-specific quirks. Other pieces of fiction don’t have that. Books have dialogue, sure, but you have to leaf through them to find certain scenes and the characters don’t always have verbal patterns manufactured to stand out. Visual-audio fiction is even worse because you have to find the meaty dialogue that reveals the character. For a movie, it means watching it, and for a game, you gotta like look that shit up. Staying in-character is just harder, at least on the perfectionistic level homestuck got me used to.

Hi guys! 

To make sure the blog doesn’t get clustered with asks, I made a twitter account to try to respond to any comments and questions hopefully more frequently than here. Feel free to tweet me if there’s anything in particular you want to know or say. 

@Orangeplumm is the twitter.

tfw you love a Thing and your Friends but sometimes the two just don’t mix

4

- May, what the hell are you doing here? I didn’t request a specialist.
- I go where I’m assigned.

The Adventures of Coulson & May: Some Time Ago