i get that their whole relationship shouldn't have even been a thing from the get go

Famous In Love || Part 1

Summary: Tom and reader have been together for a years, but he breaks it off because his career is starting to develop more, unbeknownst that the reader is pregnant with his child.

 Warnings: (Wrap it up guys), Teen Pregnancy, sad, fluff, angst, leaving, giving birth.

 Word Count: 1,853

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader.

 A/N: First chapter may not be that interesting. Hope you like it. : ) Wanna be tagged just let me know.

~Famous In Love Masterlist~

~Masterlist~


Falling in Love. 

Many people have a different aspects to it. To you it felt like you were living a dream. A dream where you loved him and he loved you. A dream that made you want to believe you would be together for a long time. Yet somehow that dream brought out the real reality of your living fantasy.

Tom Holland the love of your life or was the love of your life, so it seemed. We were both 17 at the time. You had just graduated from high school getting a full scholar ride to the best college. 

You knew what you set your goal for.

You knew where your priorities stood.

You had everything you hoped for.

The greatest friends.

The most loving and supporting mother any one could ask for. An amazing offer for school, but why did none of that matter that night. The night where you could let go, stop worrying about the future, get drunk wasted for crying out loud! For Tom he was setting out to pursue a career, one that would take him far in life, a successful life, a career in acting. Now you may be thinking how someone like yourself wounded up with him. Well Tom and yours meeting was as abnormal as it could be, it was kind of like your typical, “his friend were friends with your friends so we should meet up, go out for a while, maybe hit a club or something. You both got to know each other throughout a years time. And throughout that time a spark ignited. That’s right you Y/N L/N got roped into the love train with Mr. Tom Holland himself. He clearly reciprocated the same feelings you had for him. 

Your relationship started slow. You’d go out on dates. Introduce each other to each other’s parents. Go out with our friends. Do stupid things…Everything was great, so where did it go wrong?

Tom and his best friend Harrison suggested one night that you should go out for drinks, although do to some of you not being fully at age yet, you had to go with plan B. Throw a stupid party. Your friend Y/F/N and you still lived with your parents so you still had to ask permission to attend said party. There wasn’t many people you knew only a short amount like Tom, Harrison and a few other of your friends.

It seemed great at the time, but as soon as more people started arriving and more booze was being consumed, it was a recipe for disaster. Of course back home where Tom was from drinking didn’t seem that big of a deal, since he was already 18, but here in the U.S he’d have to wait three more years. You four.

You were starting to regret the whole party. You weren’t one to be in the heard of craziness. The music was too loud. Your head was pounding, and there was too many people for your liking.

Tom noticed your discomfort and suggested you two go upstairs away from all the chaos. You held in his as he lead the way.  You passed by people who were way to close for liking, couples practically sucking their faces off, and just passed out drunk on the carpet. 

You both ascended up the stairs and entered the bedroom. “That’s better” You sighed sitting on the bed. Tom closed the door behind him taking a sip of his beer and repeating your actions. 

“Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to throw a party” He frowned.

“Ya think!” You exclaimed.

“I thought today would be fun” You averted your gaze to your lap

“It still can be” He gently lifted your chin to look at him.

“How?”

He didn’t give you an answer. He gently brushed your lips climbing his way on top of you. The love you had was coming out with a passionate kiss.

“You sure?” His faced showed concerned.

“Yeah” You assured him.

He connected your lips again before begging his task. The night was filled with we shouldn'ts, but were replace by “Don’t stop” or “That feels nice”. It felt like an endless pleasurable evening. You and Tom couldn’t comprehend properly due to the alcohol, yet it was the best thing you had done. It was a night filled with no regrets or any we might’ve made a mistake. No. It was a lovable moment. If anything that night had brought you closer. So you thought.

The passing weeks were enjoyable. You expressed your love you had for each other. Nothing could have ruined what you had, well not until Tom got a certain phone call.

“What do you mean your leaving?” You were slowly shedding tear after tear.

“I just got offered an incredible job Y/N!” He was so thrilled that he had gotten the part for the movie he audition for.

“Aren’t you happy for me?” His expression saddened.

“Of course I am…I-I just, what’s going to happen to us?” You whispered.

“I-I don’t know? But we’ll work it out like we always do.” He shook is head.

“You know how long distance relationships turn out Tom” You looked down at your feet.

He gently lifted your chin with his hand. “That shouldn’t stop of us though” He smiled reassuringly. 

“I’m gonna miss you” You cried into his shoulder.

“Me too”.

Tom leaving was hard on you, but not as much as the lessened phone calls and texting messages. Your departure was sort of an unexpected thing. A break up was never brought up, but you knew where your relationship stood. It was broken up relationship whether you wanted it to be or not. You felt an ache in your heart. Tom had been your first love, and your first heartbreak. He was your love and you were his.

A couple weeks had past and you were trying to get your life together again. You were going to go to college and get your degree in (Subject). But what you got instead was morning sickness, and a missed period. You didn’t want to assume the worst of the situation, but when your period never showed you were growing nervous by the second. You also didn’t want to tell your mom, god knows what’d she do if she found out you were going to have baby. You were still a baby. Bringing a child into this life was not what you needed right now. Not alone. You were so scared, you didn’t know what to do. You needed your mom.

“Mom can I talk to you?” You slowly approached her.

“Sure sweetie what is it?” She was cooking up something for dinner in the kitchen.

“I just want you to know I never intended for this to happen” You nodded at her. She turned around having her full attention now.

“Okay now you worrying me. What’s going on?” She looked at you curiously.

You hesitated. It was now or never, you thought. 

“I’m pregnant…” Your eyes started watering.

Your mom didn’t say anything. She just looked at you in shock. Her silence was something you didn’t need.

“Mom? Please say something!” You cried out. 

She still said nothing.

“I so sorry mom! I disappointed you!” You continued crying. As if it clicked in, your mother walked up to you embracing you in her arms. You cried against her shirt.

“You are not a disappointment!” She exclaimed gazing down at your figure. She wiped your tear stained eyes away.

“But I got pregnant at a young age” You whispered.

“Sweetie getting pregnant isn’t even that horrible of a thing, but it can be difficult at some points in life, besides you aren’t alone in this situation” She assured you. 

You had thought about Tom that moment. He was gone and here you were carrying his unborn child. You cautiously placed a hand on your stomach. You were going to bring a life into this world. 

“You are not a disappointment Y/N, and you aren’t alone in this” She gripped your hand in hers.

Throughout those everlasting nine months you took in your mothers words. You weren’t alone in this. You had her right by your side every step of the way. Tom had left you behind, while he went on to take on his career. You were probably long forgotten by him. Your mother told you that you didn’t need him to care for your child. Your mother had done it by herself, and so could you, but with her helping and guiding you. Something her mother never gave her, your mother gave back to you much more in many ways. You couldn’t thank her enough. 

The day had arrived. You didn’t know what to expect, but boy did your contractions hurt like a b**ch. Your mom had probably broken so many rules to get you to the hospital quickly. You were wheeled off to a room to prepare to give birth. The wait seemed to drag on. Nurses were going in and out of room trying to get a hold the doctor. Your mom was right beside you holding your hand to try and calm you down. If it weren’t for the doctor you would have broken your moms hand by how tightly you held it.

The doctor finally said those six words you had been dying to hear.

“Y/N I need you to push!”

You pushed with all the energy you had.

“You’re doing great, just one more push!”

“I-I can’t do it!” You cried out.

“Five minutes of pain for a lifetime of happiness” Your mother whispered to you caressing your hair back. You looked at her.

“Just one final push!” The doctor said.

You groaned out giving the push your all. Once you pushed you heard the sound of your baby’s cry. You sighed in relief but also because you gave birth to a new life.

“It’s a girl” The nursed informed you.

“Can I-I hold her?” You shed a tear.

“Absolutely” She carefully placed her in your arms.

“Cradle the head” You mother told you smiling down at her precious granddaughter.

“She’s perfect” You softly caressed your finger on the side of her face.

“What are you going to name her?” The nurse held up a clipboard.

You looked down at her little face. You never knew how delicate and small something so precious could be.

She opened her eyes and you couldn’t comprehend words properly, you could only gaze at her with so much love. She had his eyes. His dark brown eyes.

“Alinine Primlet Y/L/N” You smiled at her.

“You must’ve thought about this for a while”

“I did”.

“Welcome to the world Alinine” You pressed a kissed to her forehead. She seemed to react to it because she smiled.

Little did you know you’re whole life would be changed by one special little girl.

Thank you to those who suggested wonderful names. I couldn’t decide so I combined the names I liked:

@soundshoodfeelshood -Aline @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine -Katherine = Alinine

@xsabrinalynn - Prim @quackson-central - Scarlet = Primlet

Permanent Tags:

@siennarossi @monsis-world @onceuponateenpanwolfian @maria96bvb @thequaksonclackson@hannahweeks @teen-river-wolf @totallyrandomfandomfangirl @arkhamasylumpatient-blog1@daringbanshee @decaffeinated-fangirl @love-feels-like-loneliness @clean-and-claire @fireismysaftey@smazztastic @raindancer2004 @therealsweetspawn @baskinrobinsalwaysfindsout @zuni21798

Tom Holland/ Peter Parker Imagines Tag List:

@jor-da-na @anthonystoner @turtlee-says-rawr @manyfandomstohandle @miraisnotavailable @onetrackmindgurl @password123d @multifandomtakeover @webslingerholland @forever-wander-neversettle @lynnamin-bun @moonandstars-xo

Famous In Love Tag List:

@forever-wander-neversettle @tiny-friggin-human @blackfandomtrashandproud @bookworm06 @all-t0-y0u @xkaciesearlex @harrysbbby @ginervraweasly @steffieking @moonandstars-xo @michaelsxxsmile @unknown420lol @justcameforthefanfiction @miraisnotavailable @lyricfreaks @teen-wolf-stydia-feels @cele715 @isnow-0r-never @theoismydad @idkanymoreitsjustme @password123d

anonymous asked:

my girl is back!! so glad to see that you are back ❤❤ you've been missed truly. im so excited to see more of you and your creative writing!!! if you are can you write a jealous archie fic, where he starts making comments that bughead shouldn't be together & one day finally jughead tells archie to fuck off. betty chases after jug & then they go back to his trailer 😉😉🔥, love you 😘😘

Thanks love! I’m so happy to be back! I’ll give it a go!
*****

Betty wasn’t naive this much was certain, she was practical, Sharp and curious but Jughead Jones girlfriend was never naive.

So why on earth was she so absolutely blind to one Archie Andrews and his newfound appreciation for everything Betty Cooper?

“And then when I told him I couldn’t wait for him after practice because I was meeting you he nearly bust an ankle he spun around so angrily” the Beautiful Blonde cheerleader wrapped her lips around the strawberry milkshake in front of her and shrugged her dainty shoulders “I don’t know Jug, he’s just been so weird lately. I know it probably has something to do with his dad but Fred is doing great! You’d think Archie would be relieved. I’m worried about him.”

The concern was clearly evident in Betty’s Crystal eyes as she glanced up at Jughead, her fingers tapping the glass anxiously. This was Betty, she cared about everyone and every thing, her heart was so full sometimes he worried it might burst. Of course Jughead knew what this was all about, his redheaded best friend was Jealous, painfully so.

“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” that phrase played through Jugheads thoughts every time he caught the football player staring at his girlfriend a moment too long or when Betty and jughead spoke about leaving for college together and Archie just laughed, he had told them not to get their hopes up because highschool relationships don’t last. He had sat through it all, bit his tongue and rolled his eyes but not anymore.

He could see the pain it was causing the love of his life and that? Yeah that wasn’t okay with him.

Reaching across the diner table Jughead gripped her tiny scarred hand in his own
“I’ll talk to him okay? I’ll figure out what’s up.”

Betty sighed and nodded
“Thankyou Juggie. Anyway, I looked at Sweetpeas bike, you guys really have got to stop playing around with those things you’re destroying the engines! There’s only so much I can do before I become the Serpents honorary mechanic.”
***
It was two days before Jughead had worked up the courage to take his bike over to the Andrews. They were best friends! This shouldn’t be weird, it was just a civil conversation between two friends is all.

Fred had the door opened before Jughead could even knock, a knowing smile on his lips as he let Jughead in.

“That’s Fps old bike, I could hear it a mile away. Do you know how many girls your dad scored for me with that bike? All I had to do was lean up against it and bang, a whole group of ladies. Not that it matters much to you, Archie told me you snatched up Betty? Good for you, she’s one of the greats. Head on up he’s just working on his music.“

He made his way up the stairs cautiously, leaning against the door as Archie played a sad love song about a girl next door.

“That about Veronica?”

Archie jumped his eyes widening at the leather wearing boy in his doorway before they narrowed

“No. No it’s not.”

Okay so they were just gonna jump right into it. Fine by him.

“You had your chance Arch. She’s mine now. She’s my girlfriend. You didn’t pick her, I did. That’s just how it goes.” Jughead spoke evenly, shoulders back and frame tall.

Archie let out a bitter laugh
“For how long? Look at you Jug. No offense but you aren’t really Betty Cooper boyfriend material. You’re a Serpent, a thug. You don’t even go to Riverdale and I haven’t seen you at one game. She’s gonna get sick of all the drama that surrounds you, and when she does, which it will, she’s gonna pick me. It’s always gonna be me, you know it, I know it and she knows it. It’s only a matter of time.” The redheaded boy set down his guitar turning to step closer to Jughead.

Jughead shook his head, fists clenched
“Ya know something? Maybe you’re right maybe I’m not Betty boyfriend material, maybe I’m not good enough for her. Hell no ones good enough for her. But guess what? She loves me. I get to hold her every night, I get to kiss her in places you could only dream, I get to be the one she comes home to. So while you write your love songs and plan your make believe future with MY girlfriend, I’m living it. I’m only going to tell you once, you’re my brother Archie no matter what happens but Betty.. Betty’s my everything. So stay away from her, I mean it.” He growled deep and low.

Archie seemed stunned silent for a moment before he shook his head and took another shaky step forehead

“I can’t do that. I won’t do that. Me and Betty are soulmates, I can make her happy, you can’t.”
Archie yelled.

Jughead squeezed his eyes shut, the anger boiling in his stomach
“Betty is my girlfriend. She’s mine, not yours. If I find out you so much as touched her..”

“What are you gonna do Jughead? Kill me like the Serpent you are?” He taunted

That was it, soon Jughead and Archie were both on the floor fists flying before Betty and Fred came fumbling through the doors, Fred got a hold of Archie as Betty bent down beside Jughead

“What’s going on here?! Fred called me over and said you two were shouting? What is this about?!” Betty gently titled Jugheads head back and held her sleeve under his bleeding nose.

“He came here, he started it!”Archie defended himself.

“You’re a coward Andrews!” Jughead growled, rising from the floor and heading down the stairs

“We are going to talk about this later Archie Andrews but right now I am going to go tend to my boyfriend.” She was gone in a flurry of pastel pink and ballet flats.

Fred looked down at his son
“She’s made her choice. It’s time to move on.” With one final disappointed glance toward his bleeding son Fred left the room.

“Jughead! I can’t run in flats!” Betty called from behind the speeding beanie wearing boy he abruptly stopped, he never wanted her to hurt, not because of him.
“Juggie” She panted “what happened?”

Jughead whipped around
“He’s in love with you Betty! God can’t you see?!And he’s right, you deserve someone like him, someone who can give you a life! I’m stuck here! I’m a Serpent I can’t go anywhere! You can do so much better than this life!”

Betty stared blankly for a moment, wide eyes filled with tears before she flung to him, fingers wrapping around the Signature S on his jacket
“I’m as much a Serpent as you are Jughead Jones and if you’re stuck here I’m stuck with you. I love Archie, as a brother. I love you as so much more. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don’t care where or who you are as long as I’m with you.” She held on until she felt him squeeze back, so tight she felt it in her lungs.

“Okay Juliet. Okay.” He whispered against her neck.

“Take me home Juggie.”

And so a tiny blonde and a dangerous dark haired boy rode through the dark place they loved so desperately heading toward the trailer they would call home for the next four years of their lives all the while a redheaded boy watched from his window, a single thought running through his mind

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

anonymous asked:

I've been seeing a lot of posts about people talking about cultural appropriation in magic. Is it not acceptable to use practices from any other culture, even if to just learn? Like people saying non blacks shouldn't do any hoodoo or voodoo. Non native Americans shouldn't use any native American practices, etc.

So, this is a complex question. 

At base, cultural appropriation is about power dynamics in that a majority group (most often white and/or European folks) hold power over minority groups in any number of arenas–social, economic, professional, legal, religious–and utilize that power by adapting and adopting what they think is most useful to them from that minority group. In a religious or magical sense, it’s an outsider taking from a religious or magical practice they have no grounding in or license in, and using it for their own gain. 99% of the time, this is gain in the form of financial gain; someone creates objects or offers services they have no business dealing in, and try to claim legitimacy of practice because their intent is pure/clean, etc.

Is it not acceptable to use practices from any other culture, even if to just learn?

If we operate from a place of truth and recognize that practices from culturally-based magical and/or religious traditions have culture and learning woven into those practices, then no, it is not acceptable, and here’s why: for practices that come from a culturally-based environment, there are very specific reasons why certain things are done certain ways and those reasons are a) specific to that practice, b) are passed from teacher to student within that practice, and c) make no sense and/or cannot be created outside of that environment.

With that in mind, it is impossible to learn from those practices without going to the source. I can teach you how make lamp wicks how my mother taught me to make them based on how our spirits and tradition dictate the process, but if you aren’t operating in that setting, it won’t mean anything to you and it won’t carry the same weight. I can teach you how to trace a veve, but if you don’t have the ritual heat in your hands and the ritual license on your head to trace one, you are just messing with powders in pretty patterns with no purpose or reason. If you aren’t serving the spirits we do it for, the ritual turns and motions we use in ceremony are empty and mean nothing. If you haven’t gone through the process to earn the knowledge and learn how to use it, it’s empty–there’s nothing to learn in it because the learning doesn’t exist without the process.

To flip that, it would be the same as me trying to bring outside practices into vodou because I know they work in other settings. Like, if I busted out (for example) a Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram in the middle of a ceremony because something was not going right or brought out some black tourmaline because a spirit told me I needed to work some healing on my digestive track, it would be super foreign and incredibly awkward and the spirits (nevermind the people) would squint at me because we have the tools to do all that without going elsewhere.

If the problem is that you don’t have tools to do what you need to do, there are three options: find the tools in a way that isn’t taking from a minority practice, go to the minority practice that has the tools you think you need and see if you can be taught, or decide that tools are nonsense and avoid the whole mess. A need for learning or a desire for knowledge doesn’t create the open door for license to pick and choose.

And, in that way, picking up things from practices/religions that have a gate to pass through without going through the right channels is inherently dangerous. There are reasons why folks in culturally-based religions say, over and over, that you need a priest that you develop a relationship with to instruct you. Cherrypicking is dangerous and the magic and spirits that speak in a culturally-based religion are not cuddly. They take offense and they strike back. They don’t like everyone and they can be pretty damn unforgiving of mistakes, even ones that are done unknowingly. Mistakes can carry real life, life threatening consequences, and I don’t know one priest in my religion that hasn’t had a client show up with terrible consequences laid on them because of mistakes made in some respect. People get what they get as a result of their actions, but no priest celebrates that or wants to go deal with angry, potentially murderous spirits. If you don’t have the instruction to act in a responsible manner and are just picking what looks good and useful, then you run the risk of ending up as one of those people.

Like people saying non blacks shouldn’t do any hoodoo or voodoo. Non native Americans shouldn’t use any native American practices, etc.

Generally, people feel all kinds of ways about majority individuals being involved in minority religions. Native Americans as a whole have made it pretty clear that they do not appreciate non-Natives ripping pieces out of their religious practices and passing it off as authentic Native stuff. I know non-Natives who are involved in Native American religious practices in a legitimate manner, which involved years of study and out and out grunt work to prove that they were not the same as every other basic white person at Coachella with a ‘war bonnet’ and a ‘spirit animal’.

Many African-Americans feel strongly about non-African-Americans utilizing conjure/hoodoo, and that is largely because some white folks are so damn awful about it–ripping what looks like it will serve their needs and then throwing whatever else on top of it (crystals in mojo hands, a honey jar for every occasion, invoking Wiccan concepts, etc) before turning it out to sell and make a profit. There are ways to engage in conjure work as a non-African-American, but it’s less about magical skill and ability and more about unpacking systemic racism, working on your inherent white supremacy, and not trying to be the loudest voice in the community.

Regarding vodou, vodou is a Haitian religion and is attached to a culture, versus being attached to a skin tone. White folks in vodou have a TON of work to do around unpacking whiteness and learning how to move in a culture where whiteness and white people are not the center of attention or the center of the universe. A lot of folks who are not in the religion have a lot of feelings about that. 

At base, cultural appropriation speaks to HOW knowledge is accessed or attempted to be accessed. Appropriation is thinking you can take or learn something because it is there, versus going through the actual process that exists to learn these things. Unfortunately, an unpleasant amount of majority/white/European folks want easy access when, in minority culturally-based religions, there is no easy anything.

99 Prompts
  • + this was inspired highly on the lovely @sentence-fragments post “101 fluffy prompts” so, thank you <3
  • + these prompts are tailored to be written in the reader's point of view OR the character's point of view.
  • YOU AND I:
  • 001: "One day I'll sing you to sleep, and you'll wake up in love with me."
  • 002: "If only you knew who I am, maybe... maybe you'll love me like I love you."
  • 003: "We're just two poor kids, from a really rich city. Isn't that a pity?"
  • 004: "(You/I) come in, with mud on (your/my) face, holding a dozen roses. Shouldn't (I/you) be suspicious?"
  • 005: "Just please, please hold me so I won't fall apart."
  • 006: "You don't even know my name, and you're suddenly in love with me?"
  • 007: "I would appreciate it if you would stop taking my breath away whenever you walk by. I kinda need my breath."
  • 008: "You stupid, adorable idiot."
  • 009: "Can you help me with my homework? I figure since you're smart you know what you're doing."
  • 010: "You're fixing me in a way that no one else could."
  • 011: "Please don't leave me when I'm this weak. Please."
  • 012: "You're fluffy, like a pillow... or a well-written fanfic."
  • 013: "I'll make you know love again."
  • 014: "Aren't we passed 'hello'?"
  • 015: "Kiss me as if we'll never see each other again."
  • 016: "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream."
  • 017: "You make me sane again."
  • 018: "Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you."
  • 019: "Stay with me. Please, if you'll leave me tomorrow and never come back, stay one more night."
  • 020: "Take my hand. Take my whole life, too because I can't help it that I'm madly in love with you."
  • 021: "We're such opposites, and I couldn't be more attracted to you."
  • 022: "Can you sing to me until I fall asleep?"
  • 023: "I'm tired of being alone. Don't let me go."
  • 024: "You're just jealous because you're the little spoon."
  • 025: "You're cute when you're pouty and jealous."
  • LOCKDOWN:
  • 026: "She doesn't deserve you. That should be me."
  • 027: "You're sitting there, oblivious at the bar, when (she's/he's) sleeping around and you're just letting this all happen?!"
  • 028: "Number one: stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out of that loveless relationship."
  • 029: "I never meant to get attached. Now that I am, I'm trapped."
  • 030: "Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?"
  • 031: "(He/She) won't love you like I would."
  • 032: "(He's/She's) an idiot for letting someone like you go."
  • 033: "I have loved you since we were fifteen. You just never noticed."
  • 034: "While you were chasing her, you were oblivious that I was struggling to get your attention."
  • 035: "It's like you casted a spell on me. And from the start, I was hooked."
  • 036: "The thought of you with (her/him) makes me want to vomit, just saying."
  • SUPERFICIAL LOVE:
  • 037: "If you want to keep me then you better treat me like a damn princess."
  • 038: "This superficial love shit got me going crazy."
  • 039: "If you like (her/him), go for it. Just stop stringing me along."
  • 040: "You're such an idiot, you've been chasing for the right person when I've been standing here all along."
  • 041: "I think I know (he/she) doesn't love me. That's why I mess around."
  • 042: "I don't want to marry someone who broke me on the inside."
  • 043: "I keep falling for your fool's gold."
  • 044: "I thought it was supposed to be you. That you'd be the one to save me."
  • 045: "You're not the person who gets to be in my happily ever after."
  • 046: "It's sad because I still love you even though you're with (her/him)."
  • BROKEN HEARTS CLUB:
  • 047: "I'm not your side piece. If anything, you're my side piece."
  • 048: "After all these years of not apologizing, you're on your knees begging for my help? After all you did?"
  • 049: "And if one day, you wake up and realize you want to be with me again, you better be ready to slay a dragon to win me back."
  • 050: "I trusted you and you abused that trust. That's not right. You can't waltz in here and think everything is okay."
  • 051: "I had a few drinks now and the only thing on my mind is you. It's always you."
  • 052: "I'm not the same (girl/boy) you left broken-hearted two years ago."
  • 053: "You don't get the glory of seeing me cry."
  • 054: "People may call you a hero, but you're a villain in my eyes."
  • 055: "Sorry, I'm all out of love."
  • 056: "You were the best drug my heart got addicted to."
  • 057: "You left me and went on to become bigger and better."
  • THE ANGST:
  • 058: "You saved me from death, and now you want to kill me? You had your chance."
  • 059: "No one came when I was about to die. You left me to die."
  • 060: "I am so done, trying to be your number one."
  • 061: "Every little thing you do pisses me off and it makes me mad because it makes me love you more."
  • 062: "You had no trouble tearing me apart and poking holes in my heart."
  • 063: "You accused me of murder and now you want to go out for dinner?!"
  • 064: "No! Stop feeling sorry for yourself again!"
  • 065: "I'm not the damsel in distress anymore! I. Don't. Need. You."
  • 066: "Don't pretend you're sorry. I know you're not."
  • 067: "You stop being sorry three years ago. Stop saying you're sorry."
  • 068: "You. Don't. Own. Me. You never did, never will. People can't own people."
  • 069: "There is not a single bone of humanity in you. You've turned to the monster I feared you were gonna become."
  • 070: "You're terrible. And to think I actually fell in love with you at one point."
  • 071: "You sicken me, you pathetic low life. Stop stalking me and trying to save me."
  • 072: "I can save myself, thank you very much for your unnecessary and unwanted help."
  • 073: "I don't need you to be happy. I never needed you."
  • WILD THINGS:
  • 074: "So... you're actually undercover pretending to be a high school (girl/boy)?"
  • 075: "(You/I) just saved (me/you) from a burning fire and now you're asking me out?"
  • 076: "Why are my clothes on fire? Why aren't your clothes on fire?"
  • 077: "What crawled in your pants and made you a fuck(boy/girl)?"
  • 078: "You're sick? I'll be over with lemonade in five."
  • 079: "Stop hiding in the bathtub and eating pizza."
  • 080: "So my dog is a robot that you've been using to spy on me?"
  • 081: "Explain to me why you are covered in marshmallow fluff and Nutella."
  • 082: "Don't tell me you're filling up water balloons with hot tea again and throwing them at your enemies."
  • 083: "(You're/ I'm) (my/your) little sister, so naturally a cold-crazed psychopath man is gonna want to make (you/me) his bride."
  • 084: "Did you just ride on a horse all the way to my house to ask me out?"
  • 085: "Why the hell did you just kick me in the (boob/nuts)?"
  • 086: "You're like a little, shiny potato chip."
  • 087: "Can I dance spontaneously in the rain now?"
  • 088: "Stop using my tooth brush to brush your hair."
  • 089: "What song do you want me to play while you throw up?"
  • 090: "You smell like burps and giggles."
  • 091: "Can you stop rubbing butter over yourself for a minute and listen to me?"
  • 092: "Stop running around the place screaming that you want to be Blue Ivy. We're at a grocery store."
  • 093: "Can you stop hitting me in the butt with a water bottle?"
  • 094: "So you called me over because you poured hot sauce in your hair?"
  • 095: "Am I the first person to tell you that you cannot rap? Because if I am, I'm surprised."
  • 096: "I don't want to know why you're dressed as a banana."
  • 097: "Please don't tell me I just fell into dog poop."
  • 098: "I'm calling you Captain Savage Worm."
  • 099: "You're just an adorable kitten in a way too tight jumpsuit."

anonymous asked:

I'm so sad. I really love t,ouka but I feel like her and k,aneki shouldn't be together bc I don't think their relationship is /healthy/. I wish for once they could just become good friends and not follow the typical heterosexual "main guy and main girl MUST be together bc they're ~straight~,". I'm still upset abt when she hit him after we found out abt his mom. since it is Ishida I'm trying to stay hopeful....I wonder if s,huuneki and other ships are just gonna be hinted as one-sided now. :'/

-dont reblog/just my thoughts feelings

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perfect

Genre: surprise. it’s fluff. Bet you didn’t see it coming.

Words: 5k

Warnings: none, I think.

Summary: Dan’s family owns one of the most succesful video game stores in London. The problem is, Phil’s family is also one of the most succesful stores, leading them to have a rivalry going on. The thing is, Dan and Phil have problems keeping up their “rivalry.” They’re supposed to hate each other, but they don’t.

AO3 link!

a/n: Knowing that over 500 people follows your blog fills you with determination. That is insane, though. More than 500 people who like what I write? Jesus Christ. Thank you so much. I am so not worthy. Hope this is good.

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Reine des Fleurs - slight summary + CGs (ch2, interlude, Leon’s route)

Ah ha ha ha I am so sorry for the delay. Except not really. I wanted to hold off on making these posts until I beat the game…and then it took me 1.5 months longer to beat the game than I thought it would since…well. Let’s just say that pretty art, music, and character design aren’t enough to save a game from the perils of writing.

Anyhow! Here’s all the CGs from Leon’s route and the common route parts of Ch2 + the interlude. There’s…not going to be as much summary from me as normal because it’s been a while, cough…though this got longer than I planned, so oops.

As it is, though, I think that Leon’s is the best route writing-wise of all five. Before I got the game I seriously thought that Leon would be this…mix of yandere + oresama, but nope. He was actually a really sweet and loyal puppydog of sorts. As for his incredible attachment to Violette…well, there’s a story behind that.

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Their reaction to smut fics
  • Eren: It would just be a front that he's all weirded out and a little grossed out by the fic, but when he's alone, he'd look more into it out of curiosity. From his long reading session, he'll read all types/kinds of smut fics, until he doesn't have anything else to read. He would secretly prefer yaoi, and openly prefer hetero.
  • Armin: He wouldn't react too much into it, because it's going to be all in his head. He would be pretty good at maintaining a poker face while reading, while he's head is swimming with lots of questions of this and that, and he would be a little confused and enjoy at the same time. He wouldn't have an exact preference; anything well-written would suffice.
  • Reiner: Just to hide how bewildered he is that people actually write these things, he would just laugh and laugh. There would be some parts where he would enjoy, but he wouldn't let anyone else know, of course. He would enjoy hetero smut fics... and when no one's looking, he'd go through the yuri smut fics he bookmarked.
  • Bertholdt: He'll think that it'd be very uncomfortable to read about someone's private business in detail. He'd also think about how uncomfortable it must've been for the author to write it, which would make him more uneasy. However, if he were to willingly read smut fics, he'd choose yaoi fics with lots of established seme-uke relationships.
  • Jean: Everyone should shut up while he's reading, because he'd be 100% focused on it. He would be the type to totally enjoy it, and would immediately look for more once he's done reading his first one. He'd be into hetero smut fics, and occasional yaoi fics.
  • Marco: He wouldn't bother finishing everything. He'll get pretty weirded out because it's awkward that he'd have to imagine what the fic's saying, so he'll just close the window when he's read 1/4 of it. It would take a lot of convincing for him to read again and find a ship.
  • Connie: He'd find them to be pretty funny and amusing, since it's describing what bed activities are like. There are times wherein he'd just snicker, and there would be other times where he'd let out a big laugh. Most of the time, he'd read yuri fics if not hetero fics.
  • Levi: He'll think of smut fics as something convenient, since he could read it on his phone whenever he feels like, and act like nothing's going on and close it quickly whenever someone tries to peek or asks him what he's doing. He'd claim that he lives for hetero fics, but majority of his bookmarks would be yaoi fics.
  • Erwin: At first, he'd be all flustered and all-- constantly looking around if someone noticed him reading and stuff. Eventually, he'd get used to it and start reading on a daily basis... without letting anyone know, of course. He shouldn't let anyone know, too, because he'll be into those hardcore yaoi stuff.
  • Mikasa: Reading smut fics would be something pretty strange for her, and it would take her a long time to think about whether she should read it or not. When she takes the "yes" side, she would be blushing furiously, especially after having the mental images stuck on her head. Hetero would be something she wouldn't mind reading, though she'd also read yaoi and yuri.
  • Annie: Even if her face remains the same from start to finish, she would be screaming in her head about how heavenly it is. She would be the kind of girl that would live for smut fics, and read it with every chance she gets. She'll absolutely be into yaoi, since what's more entertaining than two guys doing each other?
  • Sasha: There would be times where she'd find amusing, and times wherein she'll find it gross, so she'll just be neutral when it comes to smut fics. She wouldn't be too crazy over smut fics after the first read, and she may even forget about it. If she were to read it regularly, she would pick hetero fics.
  • Christa: She'd be super freaked out over it, since it's totally different from your usual blog entries, online articles, etc. She would feel totally guilty for reading smut, since she'll feel like she's invading someone's private time, and she also would be a bit grossed out by detailed descriptions.
  • Ymir: The whole time, she'd have this smirk that wouldn't be wiped off her face. She'd enjoy the whole story, be it a dramatic kind of smut or just good ol' PWP. Of course, it wouldn't be a shock if she'd say that yuri would be her smut fic of choice.
  • Hanji: I have a feeling that she'd loudly fangirl over it, especially if it were her ship. She wouldn't be able to contain her feels, and she'd have to take small breaks in between reading just to compose herself once again. She wouldn't mind reading any kind of smut at all, as long as it's kinky.
  • Petra: She would think that smut fics are very very interesting, so it would be an enjoyable read for her. She would take it in maturely, and might even see it as a form of art, since sex is normal anyway. I can definitely see her having a strong preference for yaoi.
Feeling The Pressures - Xero

When you are feeling pressured to move the relationship to a more intimate level.

Rated: Fluff/Teen

Word Count: 1 856

You arrive at the dorm, ready to spend the evening with your boyfriend. When you knock on the door, you are immediately greeted by Jiho, who quickly embraces you in a hug and pecks your lips, “Baby…” He smiles down at you and grabs your hands to lead you down the hallway of the dorm. Along the way, you cross paths with Hyosang who is heading towards the living room with the rest of the members, “Hey, where are you two headed?” He asks, looking down at your hands clasped together. “To the bedroom,” He waits awkwardly while his hyung just blankly stares at the two of you, “Is that okay?” Hyosang glances between Jiho and the closed door to the bedroom, but hesitantly nods his head, “…Yeah, that’s okay.”

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anonymous asked:

So... This is not hating, or trying to bring down any positivity. I really like your blog and your meta, otherwise I wouldn't lurk around like a creeper Misha :) But why is everyone happy about Cas being all about Dean when the sentiment isn't returned? When Dean hasn't even begun to fix all the shit he has put Cas through? He shouldn't be happy next week, he shouldn't flirt with some wrestler. Castiel deserves more.

I can’t speak for anyone else but myself here, but personally it’s just by taking a really long view. It’s obvious Dean loves Cas when you watch the show as a whole, and it’s obvious he’s cared about him from much earlier on than he’d even admit, and then building into love over many years. Like, nothing has happened as far as I’m concerned that could have wiped out the feeling expressed in the Crypt Scene or the times love was obvious without being expressed through the seasons. It would take an actual plot focussed on unravelling how much Dean cares about Cas to remove my certainty that in the background he does still love Cas very deeply. You know, like, 6x20 over again but the aftermath being more final rather than Dean just beautifully struggling with his love vs the betrayal… Something that will actually convince me that the story wants us to know for absolutely sure that Dean is done with Cas.

As it is the way the feeling has been written is that at the start of season 9 it was still being made obvious that Dean had feelings for Cas (9x03, whatever you say about how it treated Cas, made Dean’s side painfully obvious; 9x06 and all that obvious on-screen pining and unresolved feelings there in front of us for the both of them; 9x09 and how weird and flirty they were in the bar together, and how Dean opened up and told Cas everything despite 9 episodes of Gadreel telling him not to and to leave Cas out; 9x10 using Cas entirely as an emotional prop for Dean (in a good way respectful of Cas’s personhood :P)…) and then at the end of 9x10 there’s a very specific walking off moment which we’re still not really over, but only at the start of this season were there gifsets like “this is the last time Cas saw Dean fully himself and this is the first time he sees him without the Mark” etc.

The thing about that walking off moment was that it wasn’t anything to do with Dean n Cas, but Dean and Sam and specifically just Dean’s issues with himself and how he deals with Sam, and he headed off into territory of deep self-loathing that fuelled the whole Mark of Cain arc. Cas is sidelined from Dean’s emotional arc, but not because of anything that happened between them, and then we were unfortunate enough that this was the arc that got dragged out for multiple season renewals rather than tidying it away and starting something new. The general consensus is that they just meant to hurdle this storyline and get back to something else (since all the threads about Metatron and the tablets and whatever they meant to do with Crowley were left hanging, and still haven’t amounted to anything, rather just fizzling out in the background but by bit as time crawls on), but the nature of this arc dealing with Dean’s internal alienation and descent meant they were dragging out all the related issues. It’s taken a disproportionately long time to deal with Sam and Dean’s issues and those aren’t all still resolved either: there’s been stuff on the table between them since season 8 and 9 as well that has never been addressed as the plot rolls on and on. Like, there is always bro drama each season, but rather than refreshing it with a new reason to be angry with each other for a mid season flare up, they’ve been stewing on some stuff so long that they only cleared up the “you should have looked for me in Purgatory” thing in 11x11, and that had been a raw wound since 8x01. 

In that sort of atmosphere where the main drama between the brothers is getting the same drawn out festering treatment, I can’t even be mad about Dean and Cas’s relationship development dragging out the same way, especially when it can all be identified as having similar root causes in the writing choices the writers make re: the great and terrible Plot Accordion? I think it is rubbish that this has all been hanging on the previously yearly turn around of who did or didn’t care (so they think :P) with Dean showing less care to Cas… 

If it had been Cas showing less care to Dean and getting trapped in 3 seasons of an arc that kept him emotionally alienated from Dean, rather than being our main conduit of Destiel emotions for 3 years, and Dean more blatantly pining after him, I wonder what the discourse would be like. I feel like in those scenarios (such as season 4, 6 or 8) Cas’s care for Dean is still obvious anyway but Dean just can’t see it because plot contrivances/Cas being grumpy as fuck around him despite probably fucking the universe up on Dean’s unwitting behalf. So Dean gets to feel hurt by Cas’s lack of interest but we still get to see it there. While something like season 7 or 9 Dean’s lack of care for Cas takes more rationalising that he does still care with analysis of how he’s acting, because the plot calls for him to ignore Cas or be angry with him and you have to burrow down to all his layers of repression to work out his motivations.

Like, it’s obvious Dean cares about Cas in season 7 and he doesn’t just magically like him again in the last 10 minutes of the season after and only because of one conversation (and maybe the sandwich Cas made), but if you take it surface level and pretend Dean wasn’t struggling with these feelings, he pretty much seems to hate Cas for the entire season, and if you can only pick one emotion for him to feel at a time and go with what he’s saying with his words you quickly fall into a trap of misreading him.

SO I do think that Dean cares about Cas just as much, but has a worse time expressing it, and the story’s been against him showing it very well except for very small fleeting moments like the blanket thing etc. I’m holding back judgement on if there’s a big conspiracy to crush the gayness out of it, just because stuff DOES still get through, and some people might say that’s just enough to keep everyone hanging on, but it doesn’t actually seem to be in practice so I don’t know what to make of it. :P I’m more willing to believe in unintentional but hurtful incompetence than actual malicious conspiracy, that’s for sure. (This is literally how I started the No Homo Intern conspiracy but shh I was the one saying there WASN’T one in counter of Fireintheimpala saying “but what if there WAS” :P) And I do still think they’re writing in Destiel moments where they can even if there isn’t consistency or, at the moment, some clear direction for it all. To me it is a waiting game to see what happens to this plot thread that’s been left to the side along with other things like Metatron’s existence or the tablet or whatever. Things can get shelved on this show for an unbelievably long time only to pop up again when you least expect it.

Anyway, to skip over the present moment for a minute to talk about the wrestling episode, that’s why nothing short term can get me down, because I am still feeling somewhat patient with the show, and aware that watching it week by week and then dissecting the episodes like ravenous piranhas when they air is literally the worst way to watch television. I sometimes regret falling down the fandom hole, all the fun and friends and community aside, because when you watch in total isolation you can choose not to watch for, like, months if you feel like it and then catch up a whole run of episodes and it’s almost certain that the bad episodes will blur and the good episodes will stand out and all the plot threads woven through a season will show up and make sense far faster than when you’re guessing and often coming up with false speculation. Season 7 is legitimately one of my favourite seasons after the apocalypse arc because I suspect* I watched enough of it in one go, completely oblivious of if Cas was meant to be permanently dead or not, that I just enjoyed it for what it was, and for casual entertainment that season actually is very solid, with in my opinion only a very few bad MotW dragging it down. 

*I barely remember the year it aired and have a secondary suspicion I only remember season 7 in the context of marathons re-watching later when season 8 and 9 aired, but either way my point stands :P

Especially considering “Mood Whiplash” is a well-known trope, and the show makes a lot of use of it (go to the subpage and search for Supernatural :P) I would expect heavy and light episodes to happen around each other. Episodes with a silly concept often lighten the blow before or try to recover the tone after a dark episode, and 11x14 was one of our bleaker episodes for a long time because of the futility that was thematic across the board, from Lucifer admitting he probably wasn’t strong enough to kill Amara and suggesting Cas’s sacrifice had been in vain to the main submarine arc ending in death, to the weapon they recovered being useless. Have that along with the personal blow to Dean from finding out about Cas, and the whole episode is one big dark cloud that even some funny moments with Casifer couldn’t really lighten up (we should have known it would be dark after getting to see Lucifer drenched :P).

Anyway, the show’s got a long history of throwing in wacky or pointless fluff episodes around the heavy stuff, so to me this seems quite expected at least in concept, so it’s nothing more than an eyeroll and “of course” when I see the episode order, even if I didn’t have some certainty that next episode probably will cover Dean’s sadness about Cas some more (assuming that the voice over from the Keep Grinding promo is still yet to come as we just haven’t heard it yet) and that again is stopping me from feeling like the choice of episode following on isn’t THAT terrible and that until we actually see how Dean is written in the whole of it, we can’t judge him because we don’t know all the context, and in the long run, who knows what it will focus on but it’s only a smaller part of the bigger picture.

I know you didn’t come to me complaining about the end of 11x14 specifically although you do sound unconvinced by it in general I’d guess fro your tone, but I’ve seen people are still upset with it here and there at least as of my dash ~5pm yesterday which is as up to date as I am with fandom right now :P I was thinking I’d make a post like this just for the people who couldn’t rewatch anyway but now since this post is already exceedingly long I’m tacking it on the end but it does contribute to why I feel so positive so I guess it counts as answering the question still. 

I think ESPECIALLY after rewatching on Friday but also it was my instinctive first reading, that the ending is all about Cas and that Dean’s reaction is both emotionally powerful and enough to show that he cares, and honestly my first response on hearing people thought it wasn’t is still confusing me. 

Hopping in at a random point, aka the last ad break, before that we just get Dean’s confused horror turning to look at Cas after Sam says “that’s not Cas!” but we don’t get a real reaction until after the fade back in. Here’s his face in the fraction of a second before Lucifer chucks him across the room (there’s like 2 blurry frames of this in the episode because Misha’s head then blocks Jensen’s face): 

which I like just because it’s blink and you miss it more concern and fear and is the only moment we get of Dean *immediately* processing Cas not acting like Cas after Lucifer breaks character in front of him for the first time (after one last “wrong shoulder” moment).

The next shot of Dean is understandably checking on Sam because he’s been down and out on the floor the entire time Dean’s been back so is blatantly already suffering from being in the same room as Lucifer unattended for however long, and I’d expect nothing less of Dean to check on him, but as Lucifer talks about donning his “Cas mask” Dean finally looks at him again:

It’s specifically talking about playing Cas that draws Dean’s attention back to Lucifer, where I think he had been kind of not paying any attention to the generic villain monologue while checking on Sam because Lucifer was just spouting words as he does. His eyes actually flick back to Lucifer as he says “Cas”. And from there you see (in my shoddy just for making a point gif) from there his expression goes from concerned - directed at Sam - to somehow falling even more, I think showing his own internal pain because it’s dropping an exaggerated expression designed for communicating to another person (aka a silent “are you ok?”) to Sam, to just showing what’s on Dean’s mind.

We get some shots of Sam cutting his palm, and Dean goes into mission mode, knowing he has to keep Lucifer’s attention on him because Sam’s got the banishing covered, essentially silently communicating together that Dean, who is still much better off than Sam, needs to take the brunt of what comes next while Sam works on banishing, so the next few shots are about this, with Dean getting to his feet, looking determined, and Lucifer is monologuing about how how obnoxious Winchesters are again rather than making it about Cas. Any time he’s blah-ing on about himself, basically the attention is not really meant to be on him.

The next time we get anything about Dean’s feelings rather than anger/being the distraction is when Lucifer opens the wrappings on the Hand of God, and here we have an ambiguous moment that’s been discussed a lot where his anger drops away and he looks scared, and you can read it either as him being terrified that Lucifer will use the weapon on them and leave, unstoppable and out to get the rest of the world. Or you can assume he’s still thinking about how it seemingly utterly destroyed Delphine, and he’s scared that it will destroy Cas along with Lucifer if he tries using it (forgetting for a moment that Delphine specified mortals were more likely to be killed by it). Either way this “no!” is the first, but not the last, time we hear his voice break in this final section.

I’m actually inclined to think it was general concern for maybe TFW in general (considering the mutual obliteration Dean just witnessed literally a minute before) or just him and Sam because when the Hand doesn’t work, he glances around at Sam again as well, I suppose checking they’re all still unexploded, but I think it’s a valid reading that he could also have been scared at the very least for the fact it might have, say, burned away Lucifer’s current vessel in the process, seeing as he saw Delphine burn from the inside out to use it.

He goes from

to 

snarking at Lucifer about the Hand of God being a one-hitter, so in this moment I think it’s very self-focussed and while maybe not concerned about Cas, also not making the moment about Delphine either, because even though he’s referencing that she used it up, the emotions are focussed on this confrontation, and essentially they’re more concerned with buying time in the urgent moment and not dying.

This also riles up Lucifer enough to come straight at Dean (and I think it goes with what an anon was saying about how tragic Dean and Cas’s lack of communication this episode is that Sam gets to have Cas break through Lucifer to stop him hurting him, but Dean never gets this tested: it’s 100% likely after what we just saw with Sam that Cas would have stopped Lucifer to save Dean, but the moment is delayed or left untested so we don’t get to see the same thing happen with them yet, leaving it, if it happens, for a different confrontation another day.) and Sam banishes him. After that we have one of the most picked over moments (so thankfully I can use someone else’s gifs, credit linked :P)

He goes from staring directly at Lucifer in a challenge to this, and he’s had no real chance except that 2 frame moment at the start of this sequence and a split second while Lucifer was monologuing to even process what had happened to Cas and actually think about it. Given the flow of the moment it’s pretty logical to assume this is mostly/all about the Cas revelation and with the danger being over he can process his shock and really understand what it was that just happened rather than just dealing with it as he had been doing.

Rather than fade to black or do a regular scene change, this moment fades from Dean leaning mournfully on the pillar to the dock, which is an effect that creates continuity between the moments: Dean’s shock and sadness about Cas is carried on outside to the dock, which, as picked to pieces, is a DeanCas thing since 4x20 and strongly associated with their relationship, as much as it is related to the vague shipping theme of the episode. Therefore it’s emotionally intuitive to the viewer to keep connecting the anguish about Cas we were still seeing on Dean’s face as we faded out of that scene to the dock he was briefly layered on top of, even though the first shot is of Sam giving Dean masses of space, for who knows how long. The scene is introduced, therefore as time having passed and Dean having needed more processing time than you could imply just from however long it would take for him to change his clothes, probably have a shower, and announce “that’s it, we’re going to my dramatic sulking dock, I have shit to work out” and for them to get there - not only all that, but after they get there Sam backs off and leaves Dean to think and does his own moody thinking alone before reconvening with Dean to share notes or whatever this is. ALL THIS is linked from Dean’s long reaction shot of shock and sadness after losing Cas.

This is then confirmed by the fact that after x amount of implied considerable time has passed, that when Sam sits next to Dean, the first thing Dean says unprompted for subject matter is “Cas.”

Since someone came on anon to quibble with me saying that Dean had been struggling for tears about the Cas thing and that was all reserved for the submarine and Delphine, here he is in the exact instant the camera first cuts to his face-on shot in this conversation:

His eyes and nose are already red, and the same teary quality about his eyes remains for the entire scene, rather than only appearing later.

When he says “save Cas” his voice breaks for the second time on “Cas” and he swallows hard and looks like this:

Here’s the swallow because this is legitimately the moment that killed me when I realised how CLOSE to crying Dean was. Like, this is my vengeful ghost typing all this :P

He opens his mouth again at the end but he’s not actually saying anything. Just being an over emotional wreck :’) It’s Sam who resumes the conversation, which Dean seemed to have been trying to end with a very final, positive statement. 

Anyway, Dean’s voice breaks once more on “not possible” and we’re all still on the subject of Cas with absolutely no interference from the angst about the submarine. As I and some others have said I think it does contribute all the way through to his overall sense of hopelessness as well as his feelings that everyone is sacrificing themselves and he’s just going to watch them all die, as he did with the submarine, but it’s a complex intertwined moment, and for a good chunk of the back and forth here it’s all about Cas.

I know one of the complaints is that rounding off this conversation with discussion of the submarine takes away from this by making it about two things and somehow invalidates everything that Dean felt up until that point by making the end about the submarine, or that it’s somehow a “cover” for his feelings about Cas. And I get that in episodes like 10x23 they used Rudy to do the same to the Cas guilt trip vision in the mirror, but this episode handled it much more honestly and authentically, and there’s a long section where Dean is openly wrecked about Cas and just Cas, and it does not feel like it’s in the same spirit at all, as he’s allowed a long moment to be miserable about him. I don’t think this amount of raw feeling expressed in this part of the conversation can be put down “just” to anything from the other part of the episode contributing to Dean’s sadness, and this moment is ALLOWED to be about Cas. 

Anyway.

Once again like with after saying “Save Cas”, after “not possible” Dean turns away and allows the silence to exist as long as it cares to. It’s Sam who interrupts this proposed silence and asks Dean about what happened on the submarine. And Dean, already established by the Cas half of the conversation to be utterly emotionally wrecked, continues on with emotional consistency based on having an absolutely gutting day, to report how he felt about it, building on pre-existing tears FROM worrying about Cas to continue looking so shiny-eyed and miserable. It’s only after he’s been made to think about the submarine again because of Sam’s prompting that Dean reaches out and asks what happened to the nazi ship. In my first watch I assumed immediately that Dean was distracting himself from the Cas issue by asking about the ship, trying to see if there was any victory at all to be had out of the day, and in a way he gets that when Sam answers. 

With the song at the end, a couple of years ago, we’d have argued immediately that the song at the end was a Destiel thing, no matter what anyone said, because obviously it links to the main subplot (har har) of the episode and Delphine, but the overall point of the episode in the main arc accomplishes, for now, exactly one overall goal: let Dean and Sam know that Cas is possessed by Lucifer. That is all this episode needed to do and that’s the wider plot beat that it was meeting. Whether details like God-touched things become relevant later or the warding spells is used or whatever, the main point of this episode was to get us to the dock with Dean mourning Cas’s loss, and therefore everything else in the episode only works to create a thematic emotional backdrop to the main plot event. Yes, Delphine should affect Dean in this moment: that loss is comparative to the longer plot arc loss and his years old relationship with Cas takes the precedence, even if the song is topical to a one episode character.

My immediate emotional response to the whole last five minutes of the episode was utter devastation for Dean and I felt it was inarguably strong that he was wrecked by the reveal about Cas and that the last part of the episode was broadly focussed on that pain and shock. 

I know there’s a lot of bitterness and a lot of fear that the show won’t pay off and we won’t get any delivery on anything but I do feel that at the very least this episode all on its own proves just how much Dean cares about Cas… I suppose you can argue any way you like about the way he shows it or the other details of their relationship and how they interact, but I still refuse to doubt the emotion behind it all.

Why I ain't scared of Connor and Charlie's shenanigans--and why Bass (and you) shouldn't be either

Okay, so, tonight’s Revolution was amazingly well done and had my nerves frayed from the start and everyone was wonderful. That said, I’m going to jump into the things I *did NOT* like, and then talk about the things I did again to make me (and you) feel better.

1.) Didn’t like Miles/Rachel. As @if-life-begins-now pointed out, there is some very iffy things that happened with them during Rachel’s time of imprisonment. (Like, the whole imprisonment thing for one.) And he just can’t be Charlie’s dad. It’s predictable, gross, and POOR BEN. I love Ben Matheson.

2.) I know the Nevilles are being threatened, and I know Tom hates Monroe and Miles, but I think he really should stick it to the Patriots somehow; if he’s rolling over just to save Julia, that’s OOC. The Real Tom (not Pod!Tom) would fuck the Patriots AND save Julia in one fell swoop, possibly in an unexpected (or not) teaming up with the Matheson-Monroe clan.

3.) I MOST ESPECIALLY HATE CONNOR/CHARLIE. I love the actors, I love the characters–SEPERATELY. Together, just no. Ew. Even aside of the fact of what this might mean for Charloe, I just don’t like them together. It’s predictable; as many have said, he’s Jason 2.0.

However, there is good news, which leads me to the things I liked about tonight’s episode…

Charlie slept with Connor because he was handsome and there. She really doesn’t care to be in a relationship with him or get to know him or anything like that.

Charlie literally said she just didn’t care. She doesn’t even give a fuck. So, it’s very possible that she slept with Connor simply because he is someone she will never develop real feelings for.

And something that @aprilnjacksonotp said got me to thinking…Charlie pointed a gun at the chick Bass most recently had sex with. She was downright vicious toward her. And it was very clear she was protective of Bass, and he was aware of that. (You could also see a flicker of jealousy in Connor’s eyes over this.)

I think it’s very possible that Charlie might’ve been freaked out by how much she cared about Bass in that moment and she wanted to do something to wash all that away. I think she’s accepted the fact that they’re more than allies–they’re friends. But I think it might’ve bothered her that she was possibly jealous of that chick; if Charlie didn’t give a fuck about Monroe, she wouldn’t have been jealous.

And it’s just quite interesting that she slept with Connor pretty quickly after that incident. I think she purposely wanted to wreck her chances of Monroe and get him off her mind by sleeping with his son. Self-sabotage.

She doesn’t want to like him because of many reasons, like his past sins, but also, in her head, she’s convinced they’re all gonna die…

SHE DOES NOT WANT TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON. PEOPLE DIE.

Simple as. She barely knows Connor, so it’s easy to sleep with him. He’s a stranger, she can’t have feelings for him.

But the way she protected Bass when she thought he was in danger? That betrays her true feelings.

And, likewise, his feelings were betrayed tonight too. Two characters from New Vegas who know him accuse him of being with Charlie. They say she’s the reason he left, he’s the reason he’s fighting for the Patriots. And he didn’t deny ANY OF IT.

Bass is sassy. He just is. If the idea that Charlie was the reason he was doing any of this was ridiculous, he would’ve made up some comeback that just flew out of his mouth and might’ve hurt her feelings.

But no. Sassy Bass is silent. His silence speaks VOLUMES. Words are a front for him; him being quiet is him being vulnerable.

So, basically, Connor and the New Vegas people think Bass is into Charlie. Connor thinks this, but still goes after her. Connor just broke all kinds of bro codes, I’m sure.

And then there is Bass finding them? OMG, that was so sad. I think he was actually gutted. He went back to calling her Charlotte, for one. Over the course of the series, the better he got to know her, the more he called her Charlie. Charlotte was what he called her when they weren’t so well-acquainted. And it’s almost like he’s putting himself in that sphere again as a form of protection.

After all, it’s a big deal for him to put his feelings out there. Because one thing he has in common with Charlie is the people he loves die. Or leave him. He goes after Charlie, Connor leaves. He goes after Charlie, Connor doesn’t leave, but Charlie dies…it’s a lot to risk.

Basically, Charlie sleeping with Connor was to purposely put a wall between her and Bass because she couldn’t take getting close to him and neither could he. It was almost a knee-jerk reaction to just fuck it up before it started.

And the thing is…this is going to be a huge thing to overcome for Charloe…but I think they’re both going to get brave. If you care for someone, you can run and hide and do everything possible to spoil it…but in the end, you’re going to still care about them. And eventually, that will get too much to handle and they’re both going to get brave and…I’m actually quite optimistic, because I think Connor’s just a plot device.
And one day, Bass and Charlie are going to have a conversation about the incident–it’s inevitable. And when that happens–well, it wouldn’t happen if both characters were totally cool with Charlie sleeping with Connor. (Hint: they aren’t.) So, I imagine before the season is out, we will get some kind of definitive Charloe moment. And it’ll be awesome.

(Btw, am I the only one thinking that when Bass finally started beating the crap out of that guy, he was taking out his frustration over the whole Connor/Charlie thing on that dude? Because, yeah. He’s totally frustrated over it.)

Why we shouldn't losing hope [Stydia shippers]

  It seems like some of us start to really be worried about season 4, Stalia, Stydia, etc. I was at the beginning but I realized a lot of reason why we should still believe in Stydia as endgame :

1. The way Stalia began

  Stiles is the second most important character of the series. Do you really think this is a normal way to start his “endgame” couple then? This is worst than the way Jeff starts Dennifer (I have so many hope! But they slept together like that, after exchange like 5 words because it’s too much akward between them, they had nothing to say to the other!).

  It was rushed, useless and unnatural. She just came of nowhere in Eicheen House for having only one duty : Have sex with Stiles. Wow. God job for the second epic love of the serie Jeff. No. Stiles is too important for not having something more, a better love story.

The thing is, I already explain why I don’t like the beginning of Stalia 

HERE

So, I won’t repeat myself more and we go next!

2. Stydia’s history

 He loves her since the freaking third grade. To everyone who say it’s creepy : He was just a kid. A kid who had a crush on a girl. He isn’t a freaking stalker like Matt who take a thousand pictures of her without her consent and photoshopped himself with her. No. Stiles know what he knows because he pays attention to her, he really cares. 

  Remember 1x07? When they were stuck in the high school? Lydia shows her intelligence by making a cocktail Molotov. Stiles notices that instead to the other. He doesn’t need to stalk her for knowing her, he just listens her.

So, like I said, the third grade. Now, they both grow up, are more mature, Lydia isn’t the bitch she was and Stiles isn’t the  the little boy he was. I understand why Lydia ignored him in season 1. I mean, how many boys was like that with her? Try to date her? Probably most of them was more interested by the fact she is beautiful, but in 1x11 she just realizes Stiles isn’t just that.

  And they start their friendship. She was ready to confess to him her trouble in season 2. Lydia isn’t this kind of person, but Stiles convinces her there is no shame about crying. And where is she go to find comfort now? Stiles. 2x12 and 3x24. +3x23 in fact because she could just cry on herself, go against the opposite wall but no. She cries on unconscient Stiles’ shoulder. I can’t ignore that fact.

  They start from a “You going to ignore him” to that. He is now her closest friend.Their relationship is the more developped of the series, always with romance mentions. The kiss by example, the way their hands touch during 3x15, they are always closer every season. They have a freaking beautiful story, who start a long time before the serie.

3. Stiles letting go his feeling… Hahahaha!

  Remember when Holland said there was a love triangle in season 3B between Aiden, Lydia & Stiles? Did it happens? Nope. Just Aiden who was little jealous(I’m going to come back about it later) and that’s it. Dylan said Stiles kinda of let go his feelings for her. Kinda. I think it’s just about a scene of him, just wanting to see someone else, having a girl for once, but Dylan doesn’t know how to say it, because if he did, he wouldn’t said “kinda”, he would confirm it.

  Once,Dylan O'brien said this :

He will always love Lydia, that’s not just a crush kind of thing. The way I look at that in the show is that this is the girl that he has had that in love with crush on since you were eight, but you know when your eight and you have that first crush, and then when your nine you have that next crush that new girl in the class, then as you get older your crushes last longer and longer kind of thing. I think he is one of those such hopeless romantic souls that he hasliterally set his sights on Lydia when he was eight years old and his love has only grown since. Like he is just head over heels, that is his girl. He even acknowledges the fact that she is bat sh** and even acknowledges that yeah she is horrible to me as well, but for some reason he just loves her.”

For explain that, it is impossible he didn’t talk with Jeff about it. His love will always stay, you can’t forget that kind of crush.

4. Not the first time Stiles was supposed having a girlfriend

  Erica and Cora were supposed being the one who date Stiles. Jeff give up Sterica for wich reason? Because he absolutely wanted to have the scene we get at 2x11. The look they shared. And he did ight because it was magic. Do you realize he just give up an entire arc just for a scene  of twenty seconds. And it was not for making Stiles realize he have to move on because there’s no hope. No. Stiles said his ten years (Fifteen now) plan to make Lydia falling in love with definitly still in motion. Yhe whole season 2 became the pre-friendship of Stydia instead of Batman and CatWomen.

  Then, Stora was supposed to happen. This one, Jeff didn’t have the time because Adeleine  get the lead character of Reign. Yeah, this time probably he didn’t change idea because Stiles needed to get his first relationship. For getting more maturity. Lydia couldn’t be his first girlfriend because he wasn’t ready for starting a relation with her and Jeff know that. So, because he missed of time, we just create Malia. It could have been any random girl. 

  Give time to Lydia & Stiles to figures out who they are now it’s better than pushing them in a relation with issue because they aren’t compatible at that moment.

5. Because of Stiles?

  I’m in love with this quote. I don’t thing he said that for no reason. I can’t believe it. We say jealous boyfriend imagine thing but that is in real life. In a tv show as Teen Wolf, when everybody die, putting a jealous touch on your character isn,t just for make it pretty. It’s because Aiden really see there is something between the two of them.

6. Season 4

  A lot of people losing hope during season 4. Something, I do too but then I realize something. Stiles & Lydia aren’t lovers, but they weren’t just friend. It more than since 3b. 

 4.01 : We get 5 minute of perfect Stydia and nothing after. But, just focus on the beginning. Jeff gives us our favorite duo laughing and smiling even if they were going directly in the house of Calaverras. They were just in perfect chemistry. They make eachother happy, no matter the situation.

 After, Stalia started to take more place, Stiles & Lydia friendship seems to disappear. Stiles & Lydia are so close to falling for eachother. Well, Stiles already did but they were close to be together for good. But Jeff can’t put them together. Stiles still need to learn. 


 The problem is their relation is too much developped for being a simple friendship. So, how are they supposed to act during their scene? If they still act like during 3x15, it would be disrespectful against Malia ( as Stiles’ girlfriend) because if my boyfriend was close to a girl like Stiles is with Lydia, I won’t be comfortable. I will question myself even if I’m not a jealous person at the beginnin.

 So Jeff have to write them less closer but that’s become out of character like we see. Stiles isn’t here to figures out that Sean’s family are killer, he didn’t even try to find a way to break the code… All those thing are what make Stiles awesome but Jeff needs this storyline for Lydia. So, Stiles is left to only focus on his relationship Malia. In less, he still having great scenes with Scott but  guess it’s because they doesn’t have the same problem then Stydia. If Stiles & Lydia get more scene alone, they just gong to be closer and it can happen for the moment.

7. (And I stop after!) Stalia is going to block Malia developpement.

 Yep. I know, I know! He is the one who’s teach her to be human, for the moment, their relation only helps her. But, I think she will become to much depend of him.

4.04 : Stiles gets a stupid plan, she agrees. Stiles won’t really do that, but Malia wouldn’t not problem to drop him in the lake. Coyote instinct, the same instinct who would have no regrets to leave Lydia for death.  Later, when Stiles tells Lydia to throw a party,he make a specific move, less than a second later, Malia do the same move, It would be easier to explain with gif but I suck and I can do it. I remember when I saw this I was really annoyed. During the 3 first episode I was “ Awnn! Malia is adorable! I can like her and not ship Stalia with no problem”. I don’t want my ship/OTP interferes with my love for character. It’s weird but this little move piss me off. It’s to hard to explain and out of context for my poor english.

  And the episode finish with Malia taking control. I still don’t know id her anchors is Stiles but I hope not!


Because for Malia, when you have a partner, who don’t change it. Animals and Human aren’t the same. Human will have a lot of relationships in his life, instead the animal, who just wants to find his life mate.Malia storyline is about becoming fully human, but for that, she needs to get throught her first heartbreak like everyone. You can’t not live that once in your life. And she going to have to experienced it. If she doesn’t she won’t be completely human. I don’t said people who doesn’t have a heartbreak yet aren’t human, I just mean, it have to happen soon or later.

She can’t pass the rest of her life being protected by Stiles. She will met new peoples for the first time one day and maybe will realized she doesn’t want to be with him forever. I think Malia still doesn’t find who she really is. After all, you can’t came back after 8 years as a coyote and doesn’t change at all. More she will learn about the society more she will change and that day, they could not being anymore compatible.

Okay, it’s gets a lot longer then I wanted at the beginning. I hope my opinion is clear, sorry if sometimes I repeat myself, I start this post a long time ago!

Stydia, Martinski, you don’t have to lose hope. Jeff Davis’ smile when someone asks him a question about Stydia.. It’s because he knows Stydia is his epic story. He didn’t waste 3 season of developpement for nothng! 

Yes, I trust Jeff Davis.

anonymous asked:

Molly, I need some advice or kind guidance. With the whole Tom and Elizabeth thing coming to light, I'm just feeling a little broken? Like my safe place to go and daydream seems broken and taken away from me. Like, it's now poisoned by my own feelings about myself. How in all the stories I read or AU's that I come up with, I think that'll never happen to me. It bothers me that if I ever met Tom, I wouldn't even get a second glance? Like, It shouldn't bother me but it does.

One, daydreams shouldn’t make you sad. Two, the rumor and supposed pictures of Tom dating Elizabeth make his possible relationship with you no less likely of happening than before. Like, seriously. Fangirling is an act of fantasy. Reader insert stories are an act of fantasy. They’re professionals and actors and busy and aren’t going to bang some random chick that they met trying on a suit or on a photo op or whatever. Tom does Shakespeare, not porn.

So. If your happiness is tied up in the thought that maybe, someday, you and Tom are going to meet and have a happy relationship, you have a problem because you can’t make your happiness dependent on someone else. That’s not healthy and it’s not good for you. You need to figure out how to be happy with Tom being nothing more than a masturbatory illusion or daydream to while away a few spare moments during the day.

Tom and Elizabeth (whether or not that is real) should have no effect on your daydreams because they are just as likely of coming real now as they were two weeks ago: not at all. They are daydreams. That’s it.

You’re not going to date Tom Hiddleston. I mean, really. I understand that you’re sad, because I had the same reaction when Benedict Cumberbatch got engaged, because even though I am exultantly happy in my own marriage and I knew Benedict and I were never going to meet and fall in love, there was that tiny little part of my brain wearing a tin-foil hat and rocking back in forth in the darkest corner of the closet muttering, “It could have been me, it could have been meeeeeee.” That was the moment I knew I needed to step back a bit. I had a similar reaction to all the stage door photos of Richard when he was doing The Crucible. I stepped back. I reinvested that energy in myself and in my marriage and in my son. 

So let’s be real. There is one Tom Hiddleston and 45 million screaming fangirls (number pulled out of my butt) and with those odds, it isn’t going to happen. 

But do you know what could happen? Meeting someone awesome in your town. If you feel like you’re not going to merit a second glance from a celebrity that you think isn’t going to be interested in you, you’re also saying to yourself, “I’m not worthy of romantic attention.” That’s what makes me sad. That’s what I think is important in your message. 

You need to learn to love yourself. You need to believe in yourself. And you need to do it for you, not for a guy. Guys come and go, but you’re stuck with yourself for your whole life, so it makes sense to love you. Do you have a vision in your head of the person you want to be? Good! If not, figure that out. Write it down. Make a vision board or use Pinterest to give yourself some inspiration. And then work on closing the distance between where you are and who you want to be. Pick one small thing you want to change and work on it until you have it down as a habit. Do you want to be a yogi? Set your alarm twenty minutes earlier each morning and do your yoga workout first thing until you stop grumbling and get to the point where you can’t imagine starting the day without a sun salutation. And when that is part of who you are, move on to the next step. Be the person that reads all the Pulitzer prize winning novels or bakes her own bread or always has painted toenails. I don’t care what it is, but you do. You know who are you now, and you have a vision of who you want to be in the future. Well, little caterpillar, it’s time to get to work. It’s hard and it can be dark at times, but if you want to be a butterfly, you have to spin your cocoon. You need to learn to put fangirling in a safe place in your life; a place where Tom is an inspiration to live your life to the fullest and go after your own goals and achieve your destiny, and not use him as a distraction from the things in your life that make you unhappy and that you don’t want to work on.

Tumblr has changed my life. Literally. I’ve unlearned so much problematic shit in the last three years and I’ve learned so many new things. I’m less judgmental. I’m more loving and kind. I love myself more. I love my body more. Richard and Tom were huge parts of that. Richard made me realize how much I loved writing and how far away I was from where I wanted to be skillwise. Tom gave me the courage to actually write and put it out there and learn from others and go after a dream. Tom should inspire you; not depress you.

So please; don’t worry about a possible relationship of a celebrity. Don’t worry at all. This is such a great moment for you because you’ve verbalized that your safe space has been taken away and broken, and that you feel poisoned by your own feelings about yourself. You have identified the problem, and that is always the first step to fixing it. That’s where you should focus. You’ve been kicked out of the nest, little bird. Now’s your time to learn how to fly.  

On Felicity & her ability to forgive...

I know there’s a lot of anger and disappointment in the fandom right now regarding Oliver’s consistent, active lying. I’m not a fan of it, either, and I would personally like to punch him in the dick. And, what’s more, I know most people are hoping and even expecting that Felicity will be ruthless toward him with her anger once she finds out next week.

But this is problematic for me. Because as much as we, the fandom, may feel that Oliver deserves to be punished and emotionally ripped to shreds for his actions… that’s merely how we feel and what we think we would do in her position. Felicity isn’t us, and there’s no hard and fast rule that says she absolutely must react a certain way because it’s how we feel a situation should be handled.

At this point in the canon story, Felicity going into a blind rage and punishing Oliver by definitively breaking up with him would feel incredibly inconsistent with her characterization as well as shockingly hypocritical. She has every right to be mad and feel hurt by his actions - and I still expect her to display those emotions - but conclusively ending their relationship over it? No. That feels disingenuous to the Felicity we’ve been shown.

And that’s the problem I’m having with the things I’m reading in fandom lately: Felicity is not us. Felicity is, honestly, a better person than most of us could ever hope to be. She doesn’t have to react with intense anger and histrionics, ending their relationship and leaving him heartbroken, just because that’s what we feel he may deserve at this point.

The Felicity we’ve been shown is the woman who said the entire point of marriage is to get through the hard times because you are together - not in spite of it. The Felicity we’ve been shown is the woman who said sometimes lying/hiding something is okay if it’s done to protect the people you love. The Felicity we’ve been shown is a woman who says that maybe a man who loves you like that deserves a little trust in return.

I don’t think she’s going to end their relationship and be painfully angry and hurt by him for the rest of the season. That doesn’t match up with the character they’ve shown us this season. They’ve also, however, established that she’s a woman who lashes out and hits below the belt when she feels scared or emotionally hurt - so I do expect we’ll see a little of that from her. But so much so that she fully ends their relationship and doesn’t manage to forgive him until the end of the season? No, I don’t see that at all now.

Maybe she breaks up with him in the heat of the moment, but the Felicity we’ve been shown all season would quickly feel she had lashed out unfairly and she would return to him to offer understanding over the choices he made. But maybe she doesn’t get angry and break up with him at all. Just because the ring is off of her finger doesn’t mean it’s that simple. (I have a theory, but that’s for another time.)

My point is simply this: as much as we all may feel Oliver deserves a certain harsh punishment for his lies, that doesn’t mean Felicity is going to feel the same way. And none of us should be angry, disappointed, or bitter toward the writers if that’s the case. Because Felicity finding it in her heart to understand Oliver’s choices and forgive him - to stick with him and figure out their problems like mature adults - is exactly the Felicity we’ve known and loved this whole time.

anonymous asked:

Please understand how frustrating it is that the loud/crazy johnlockers are used as an excuse to hate our group as a whole. Also, we ARE different than many other pairings (ie sheriarty) because -and I mean no offense- many of us actually have hope for our otp becoming canon. There isn't a good reason why they couldn't/shouldn't, and yet the general public refuses to take us seriously. We are viewed as delusional and crazy and yes, that makes many of us guarded and vicious towards non-shippers.

Oh, I get it’s frustrating. My problem with the loud and crazy Johnlock shippers, besides the horrible shit they do obviously, is that the rest of the group does NOTHING about them, though.

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