i get lazy when i shave

4

Finishing my last bit of teriyaki chicken, I was too lazy to get the bin, which was literally a stretching hand away from where I was (note my chair has wheels which makes it extra easier to reach). I was so unmotivated for such a move, I thought how to make use of the bowl that had some leftover teriyaki sauce in it. I poured in water so the shavings of the pencil wouldn’t stick and would be easier to remove later. I sharpened the metallic pen I was using in the bowl I ate the chicken. I went to the restroom to wash it off, but when I firstly trashed the main shavings I saw some really cool glittery shapes that reminded me of nebulas. I guess I just made my own references.
I never thought I would get this result but I guess something cool came out of this laziness today.

Dependin on the day, and dependin on what I ate
I’m anywhere from 20 to 35 pounds over weight
I got red eyes and one of them’s lazy
and they both squint when the sun shines so I get crazy
I’m albino man, I know I’m pink and pale
And I’m hairy as hell, everywhere but fingernails
I shave a cranium that ain’t quite shaped right
Face tight, shiny, I stay up and write late nights
My wardrobe is jeans and faded shirts
A mixture of what I like, and what I wear to work
I’m not mean and got a neck full of razor bumps
I’m not the classic profile of what the ladies want
You might think I’m depressed as can be
But when I look in the mirror I see sexy ass me
And if that’s somethin that you cant respect then that’s peace
My life’s better without you actually
To everyone out there, who’s a little different
I say damn a magazine, these are gods fingerprints
You can call me ugly but cant take nothing from me
I am what I am doctor you ain’t gotta love me
—  Brother Ali, Forest Whitiker
Adam’s Beard

Quick fic that I wrote for Meryama (@adamtaylorwiles) since she’s killing people for bashing the beard :) …and she’s gonna wanna kill me after this.


“Your beard is getting a little long there, buddy,” Taylor yawned upon waking up to her boyfriend’s beard scratching her shoulder as he kissed her neck.

“You like the beard,”

“You’re absolutely right. I adore the beard. I just do not adore the beard when it is this long.” She moved her hand to pull on it, showing him how long it was actually getting.

“I’m too lazy to shave it,”

“I’ll shave it for you,”

“What?”

“Come on!” Taylor laughed, getting out of bed and pulling Adam along with her to the bathroom. She found his electric razor and he helped her to put the correct bit on the end of it as he put on pre-shave lotion.

“Don’t take off too much,” he warned her before handing the razor over to her. She bit her lip. The idea of shaving his beard for him was better in her head.

“Actually, maybe you should do it. I haven’t done this before. My only knowledge of shaving a man’s face is watching you shave. I don’t want to hurt you,”

“No, no, no. You said you were going to do it. Just don’t get the razor too close to my skin and shave bottom to top rather than top to bottom,”

“Okay.” Taylor jumped onto the bathroom counter and reached for Adam’s arm so that he would come closer to her. When he was a good distance from her face, she turned on the razor and cupped his jaw in her free hand, holding it steady. She started on the scraggly bits under his chin.

“Careful,” Adam warned her. “Go slow,” She did as she was told and shaved off a bit of hair, stopping as soon as she’d done her first swipe.

“Like that?”

“Just like that,”

“Was that too much?” Adam inspected it in the mirror before shrugging.

“Nah. You can even take off a little bit more if you want,” Taylor continued to trim Adam’s beard and he patiently guided her. After a little while, she set the razor down and brought her hands to his beard, feeling the length of it.

“Back up a little bit,” she said, letting his face go. He did as he was told and took a few steps back. Taylor looked at him and licked her lips. “Damn. I think that’s good. Actually, I know that’s good.”

“You sure?”

“I think I need a kiss to be positive,”

“Of course you do,” he laughed, moving right back to the counter. He put his hands on the outside of her thighs as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Taylor hummed and her hands locked into his hair, kissing him deeper.

“Yup. It’s good.“