Taurus- Get a grip, get a life, and get over it
Gemini- I don’t get cute, I get drop dead gorgeous
Cancer- I need to get up in this gig gurl
Leo- Girl look how orange you fuckin look girl
Virgo- I am not bothered .com
Libra- *tongue pop*
Scorpio- it’s not personal, it’s drag
Sagittarius- No T no shade
Capricorn- Don’t get bitter, just get better
Aquarius- Bitch, sit yo ass down and shut the hell up bitch
Pisces- Lemme get a look
I don’t wear makeup to impress boys who don’t even know the difference between ruby woo and russian red. I wear makeup to look myself in the mirror and say: “I don’t get cute, I get drop dead gorgeous”
“I don’t get cute, I get drop dead gorgeous.” “She enjoys riding dirty and being a straight up mother fucking dick pig.” “Tired ass showgirl.” “I feel like a beautiful flamingo.” “It’s not really a funky chicken, it’s more like a chicken that smells funky.” “Her favorite saying was ‘you pussy mouthed motherfucker!’” “We’re all shitting our pants a little bit.” “I don’t want to scratch anybody’s eyes out. I just want to scratch my way to the top.” “How am I supposed to wear something so goddamned ugly?” “Gurl, look how fucking orange you look.” “She reminded me of my Grandma at Christmas after too much eggnog with the karaoke microphone.” “Is that wrong english?” “You’ve been throwing dust and shade.” “She’s been playing the victim and I’m pretty much over it.” “You’re a silicone maniac!” “I’m walking Tupperware, girl.” “My look tonight is ‘rich white bitch’, and my attitude tonight is so over it.” “I was gonna come out in assless chaps but they’re at the cleaners.” “When you threw that cape off it was on!” “How do you tuck your junk?” “Long story short, the season of the fish smells like trout.” “Making the world a fruitier place– one cocktail at a time.” “I am the definition of fishy glamour.” “Now on to the grand high bitch herself.” “You’re so full of shit the toilet’s jealous.” “Got a head for business and a body for sin.” “It smells like a Kardashian sex tape.” “Have I been italian this whole time?” “That’s your orgasm? –Have you ever had one?” “I’m serving up mariachi realness.” “Hell yeah I like more ass!” “You gotta sissy that walk.” “I think I killed Judy Garland.” “Everybody loves puppets!” “By God there had better not be any bullshit!” “Boy from the crotch down she’s a star.” “If I’m guilty of anything…it’s of being fierce.” “Ya’ll need to go and fuck, ya know what I’m saying?” “I don’t even know what a Rolodex is!” “It’s nine inches and fully functional.” “I’m a fucking libra.” “It was nothing to gag over.” “Check out the size of that sack.” “I looked like a lesbian Jonas Brother.” “He wants some chicken leg.” “This is all just hot glue and desperation.” “That’s because you want to fuck her.” “Don’t wear bacon.” “The world’s most glamorous trash queen.” “Milk? I’m heavy cream.” “I got bills to pay. I have dogs to put through college!” “So somewhere between Star Wars and Buckingham Palace?” “I call it my little rolodex of hate.” “This is the motherfucking Olympics, girl.” “Have you ever partied like a drag queen?” “My puss is very large and in charge.”
A/N: Well… I have no comment other than I keep saying I’m going to be active… and I’m really not
Word Count: 970 approx
Warning: none, but many tears
Do me the Honours (Cameron Dallas Imagine)
All my life I’ve grown up next door neighbours with the
Dallas family. When my family moved when
I was five, I was shy and our families instantly connected. I became close with their children, Sierra
and Cameron, me and Sierra did are girly things together like make up but then
Cameron and I hung around together. At high
school we were still really close, although we hung around with different
people, after school we’d be at each other’s houses. I grew feelings for him, but I never told
Cameron, I thought it would ruin our good friendship, so he dated other girls
and I dated other boys.
I was getting over him slowly, yes I thought he was
drop-dead gorgeous and was the kindest person ever, but I met this other boy
called Tyler. He was kind and was the
captain of college football team (I left high school to go to college, while
Cameron was at magcon) and Tyler was sweet but he wasn’t Cameron. I knew I’d never be with Cameron, because he
was famous and he’d probably marry some model when he’s older; he wouldn’t want
to marry his neighbour.
I stood infront of my mirror, applying my make-up nicely,
making sure I looked nice, Cameron was lying on my bed, watching me get ready.
“Why do you put on make-up, I mean if this guy really
likes you he wouldn’t want you to wear makeup,” he told me, in a
“I’m wearing it because I like wearing makeup,” I
told him, mimicking Cameron’s voice.
Once I was finished with my makeup I shooed Cameron out of my room and
pulled on my black dress, I liked it, the dress sculptured my frame nicely and
I smiled before opening the door to let Cameron back in.
“I like it,” his smile was wide while he grabbed
my hand spinning around before letting it go, bright cheeks from embarrassment.
“Why thankyou Mr Dallas,” I smirked back, we stood
staring at each other for a few minutes before the doorbell rang, signalling
Tyler was here. I gave an uneasy smile
to my best friend crossing my figures while he mirrored my back and I left my
room going down the stairs, to meet my date at the
She looked so beautiful and I didn’t even tell her. Sure, I told her ‘I liked it’, but I didn’t
tell Y/N that she was the most stunning person I’ve laid eyes on. That I wanted to stop her from going to that
Tyler dude and ask her to stay with me for the rest of her life. I didn’t say that. Why not? Because I’m a douche.
While Y/N was on her date, I came down stairs, seeing as her
parents were out with mine, I made myself at home, with a can of soda, some
cookies and sat on the sofa scrolling through the channels. An hour dragged on very slowly, so I kept
checking the time to see if Y/N was coming home, but there was no sign, when it
reached 8:30 (1 and a half hours) I received a text.
Can you come pick me up, I’m outside the cinema.
I instantly replied as she hadn’t sent her usual emoji’s, I
knew something was up.
Sure, I’ll be there in ten.
Quickly I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my keys; raced out the
door to my car, it barely took me six minutes to reach there, probably because
I was in such a rush to get her. She
stood out very clearly (probably just her beauty) she was sat on the steps, still
as beautiful as always, but mascara down her cheeks and even more tears pouring
out her bloodshot eyes. Her big eyes
looked up at me, as I made my way over to her, sniffing however Y/N still
looked joyful to see me, she got to her feet, wrapping her arms round my neck, squeezing.
“What’s up?” I asked, while she pulled away to
look at my eyes.
“He-he, well Cam…” words didn’t join up together
to form a real sentence, so she started again. “Tyler, he saw another
group of friends, I went to the bathroom before the movie, when I got back he
was kissing the Martha girl, you know the one from school.” I remembered Martha very well at school,
since she was the one who slept with every boy she laid eyes on, apart from me,
I had eyes for only one girl. "After
that, he told me, ‘oh Y/N she’s nothing I swear.’ But they still went off
together so I sat in the movies, alone watching a film. Cam I really liked him,“ more tears
began to spill out of her eyes.
“It’s okay, he’s not worth it,” I told her,
stroking her beautiful hair.
“You’re right…” she sighed. "Cam… Can I do something?“ her
voice was soft, her cold hands touching mean, as my body twitched.
"Err. Y/N… What are you.” before I finished my sentence
finished I felt cold lips barely touch mine, I kissed her back, my hands
reaching up to rest on her hips. I
pulled away to realise my eyes had shut, just like hers.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long while,” she
sighed, letting go of my hand.
“Me too,” I sighed back, giving her hip a soft squeeze. "Y/N I love you.“ Her eyes widened
and stared lovingly at me.
"I love you too Cameron Dallas,” she giggled, as a
tear trickled down her face.
“Will you do me the honour, of going on a first date
with me. Would you like to go to the ice
cream store downtown right now?”
“And DON’T fuck it up.” “You’re not my mama. Don’t be explainin’ nothin’ to me, sweetie.” “I don’t get cute; I get drop dead gorgeous.” “I was raised right and I will not let you down.” “Other people telling me I’m not polished enough. I’m polish remover, bitch.” “I tried to tease it, but I just pissed it off.” “You know what I’ve had? IT.” “Oh no she better don’t!” “Your makeup is terrible.” “No tea, no shade, no pink lemonade.” “Flazé da.” “No. Sorry. Next.” “Whores get paid. I was a slut.” “Touch this. Touch all of this.” “Crap. Now I’m going to have to be the funny one and not the pretty one.” “Not today, Satan. Not today.” “Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” “She already done had hers.” “Jesus is a biscuit; he’s gonna sop you up!” “The shade of it all!” “Water off a duck’s back…” “You don’t like me! You really don’t like me!” “You have this unshakable confidence and I admire that.” “I need a smoke and a nap.” “I look spooky, but I’m really nice!” “Tired ass showgirl…” “At least I AM a show girl, bitch!” “Go back to Party City, where you belong!” “I’m impressed… but not that impressed.” “EAT IT.” “Your tone seems very pointed right now.” “I FEEL VERY ATTACKED.” “This is just TOO FUCKING MUCH!”