Today, I fucked up by smiling at a girl on the bus.
This happened yesterday, so if you’re out there bus girl, I want you to know. It’s not what you think.
Yesterday after working a grueling shift at the old internet mines (I’m a network engineer). I got on the bus to go home just like always. Ahead of me in line is a young woman who is looking very pretty, she has red hair and a nice polka-dot blouse. I don’t think much of it, but we end up sitting across from each other on the bus. I’m reading something that was on the front page but get the urge to look up and see her face. I had only seen the back of her head before. I glance up and to my delight, she is very pretty! Horray! I have seen one more pretty girl in the world than I did before.
Except mid-glance she looks up at me. I realize I’m probably slack-jawed and not really paying attention. I look down. I don’t really know why, I don’t have a problem talking to girls. I have a long time girlfriend and I don’t talk to very many women these days.
I’m feeling a bit sheepish and awkward, so I glance up again for some reason. A second after I do - she looks up at me and catches me starring at her, or at least she thinks I’m starring at her. She screws up her face a little bit. I’m not even that ugly, oh well. Twice in a row I’ve been caught slipping.
None of this matters because the mid-way stop at the park-and-ride is coming up, and usually everyone gets off the bus here. She stands up as the bus stops and I breath in relief. I also stand up in search of a more comfortable seat (The bench seats that face each-other kind of suck). So I’m waiting for people to clear out, and people are getting off the bus. But on today of all days MUCH more people are getting on the bus, much more than usually. Must be a football game tonight or something.
She isn’t getting off the bus. She sits by the window in a regular seat. I look around - all of the other seats are being filled quickly. I walk to the back of the bus, nothing. I look around, there is nothing. The universe’s cruel game of musical chairs is playing “Creep” by Radiohead. I sit down next to her. She looks at me like a deer in the headlights and I think she is actually afraid.
Flash forward 10 minutes and I’ve moved seats as we are the only two people left on the bus. She is looking over at me regularly, probably making sure I’m not furiously masturbating or something.
Last stop. My stop. Her stop. Our stop.
We get off the bus, she goes first and stars walking in my house’s direction. We slowly walk together, for a few blocks, she keeps checking over her shoulder. She finally turns down a side-street and I think maybe I can relax now. I turn down my street. I breath a sigh of relief, finally the coast is clear and I don’t feel like I’m stalking anyone.
Then she appears, she clearly took a fake-turn to get away from me, and I met up with her on my road.
She starts running up the steps to MY building and I’m freaking the fuck out like what is happening, am I actually stalking this girl? I keep walking towards my building, I just want to go home.
She turns and yells at me from the stairs “Stop fucking following me fucking creep”
Hoseok’s rapping style is my favourite and I wish more people would appreciate his talent in rapping andsinging as well as dancing.
I just really love the way he raps and the way he can manipulate his voice. It’s so unique.
His musicality has evolved a lot and you can hear how much he’s improved, especially since he’s been getting more lines now. In the beginning he rapped because he had to, now I think he really enjoys it. He’s gotten much more confident and I’m glad he’s beginning to shine more as a rapper.
I’ve been working at a sea food department in a supermarket for the last couple months and for the most part I’ve enjoyed my job. The customers treat me kindly and although the pay isn’t that great, I manage to make ends meet. My warm feelings towards my job changed when I met a lobster I would later name Lucifer. I’m in charge of bringing in the lobsters and changing the ties on their claws when the they first come on. My first encounter with Lucifer happened when I forgot to tie his claws. That lobster went on to murder two of his comrades and got me in trouble for overlooking procedure. Lobsters are expensive and this cost me some points with my boss. I took note of this particular lobsters features and made sure to send it to his doom when the chance arose.
Days went by and I started to pick up on signs of intelligence from Lucifer. It would stare at me deep in the eye when I poured food into the lobster tank and this somehow got to me. I became convinced of his sentience. I knew from boiling lobsters myself that the process of making them into food is cruel. I love eating meat but something about this lobster made me consider the ethics of killing another being for its food. I started researching lobsters and about how they might feel pain similarly to humans. At night I would have nightmares about boiling Lucifer and hearing it scream like a little girl. I knew the fucker has gotten under my skin so I started to care for him. When people asked for that big lobster, I told them that this one was already sold. It was in a way. Him and I were in on something. I was going to break him out.
I don’t make a lot of money so buying a lobster tank seemed like a stupid idea. So I started saving the money I would usually use on booze and women to get a basic aquarium with all the stuff he needs. I started to get worried about one of my co-workers selling it while I wasn’t there so I told them about my idea and they looked at me like I was retarded. But they sympathized and Lucifer, the double homicidal lobster remained safe. Until yesterday.
I was doing clerk stuff when this guy, a big confident type with an expensive looking watch and smile asked for a lobster. I directed him towards the best option, the recently caught and big as my head. But no. He wanted Lucifer. I told him it was taken. He started to argue and insisted on the lobster. My co-workers sensing a disagreement told me to just sell him the fucking lobster. At that moment something clicked and I realized there was nothing anyone could do to kill my friend. Nothing. So I proceeded to tell him he wasn’t for sale, offered am alternative, and while he called the manager I grabbed Lucifer, RAN to the cash register and overdrew my debit card to get him. My manager fired me but I don’t care, nobody was going to kill something I gave value to. I used my saved up money to get him a tank, clipped the ties off his claws (man, did that feel great!) and am currently researching where the best part of the ocean to drop him off would be. I’m a loser with no friends, no future, and no real idea of what makes him happy. But I’d be dammed if I let some fat fuck and his kids eat my only friend.
In my town the only pokestops and gyms are in downtown. I was running low on balls so I decided to head down there and restock. As I passed the bakery I decided to run in and get some of the delicious fudge they make which they gave to me in a brown paper bag. Flash forward I’m behind a skateboard shop trying to catch a Clefairy when these two old woman walk past me and give me the nastiest glare I’ve ever seen. I was pretty confused but I really wanted this Clefairy so I stayed put. Fast forward two minutes and these old ladies are back with a Cop. I was really confused at this point and then Cop asked me for my bag of fudge, except he didn’t think it was fudge. He thought it was drugs. I was trying to catch Pokemon with a brown paper bag full of fudge and some old ladies assumed I was waiting to sell some one drugs. Made my day.
Today, I fucked up by changing my husband's desktop photo.
So my husband LOVES birds, all kinds of birds. He thinks they are great. He is especially fond of ducks. Last night while he was in the kitchen prepping a snack, I thought it would be fun to change the desktop photo on his laptop (he had left it open on the couch). I found a cute duck picture, made it his desktop background, set the laptop back on the couch, and made my way innocently back to the kitchen table where I had also been having a snack.
My husband finishes his snack a little while later and heads back to the couch while I remain at the table. He pulls his computer towards him and goes, “OMG honey look! Ducks!” As he stands up holding his laptop and tries to come to me, he trips and falls over the glass end table we have, shattering it. If that wasn’t bad enough, he fell onto his macbook, smashing it completely open and crushing it. If that also wasn’t bad enough, he also broke his wrist because of how he fell on it since he was holding the laptop.
I feel like a terrible person, but my husband still loves ducks.