Some more Twin Things™ in honour of our favourite genetic identicals
-being pissed when people don’t make an effort to tell you apart
when the new freshman backliner is stuck cleaning the court after practise: hey Andrew, can you pass me the bucket of balls?
Aaron: it’s Aaron
Freshman: same difference
Aaron: *maintains eye contact while reaching out with his foot, knocking over the bucket so that balls scatter across the court*
-being annoyed when people can’t tell them apart (”we’re not the same fucking person”) but also weirdly annoyed if they can (”you guys don’t actually look that alike!” “yeah cool what makes you think that your opinion is relevant???”)
-hoarding extras so that your twin can have a share of the good stuff
Andrew: *takes the last two beers from the fridge, ignoring Kevin’s protests*
Kevin: why are you taking both, you know that’s my favourite brand-
Aaron: *comes out of bathroom*
Andrew: “hey, catch loser” *throws beer at Aaron*
Aaron: *swears and fumbles catch*
-’So who is the evil twin?’ questions.
-Matt and Nicky are watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when the scene where Fred dies comes on. Aaron steals the remote and changes the channel bc honestly fuck that shit.
-holding grudges for each other, even when the other twin has forgotten about it
“Andrew why do you keep targeting that dealer.” “He tripped you with his stick.” “No he di- Andrew that happened last year”
-using each other as a comparison for all their weird health problems.
“urg, i feel sick.” “yeah that happens whenever I drink milk.”
“that sign over there is blurry right?” “…uh no?” “What? no, everything in the distance is out of focus.” “No it isn’t?!” “Fuck.”
(Nicky: oh my god you’ve been driving us around for three years)
-both twins secretly wanting to dress up as the twins from the Shining for Halloween
-using ‘We’ a lot
Andrew eats tuna, proceeds to break out in hives. “Dumbass, we’re allergic to tuna.” “oh we are, are we? since fucking when?”
-even when they don’t have any evidence for it
“nah we hate maths.” “actually calculus is alright.” “…who even ARE you”
-being more insulted when their twin is insulted than when they are
Aaron’s classmate in med school: your twin is, like, a pro footballer or something right?
Classmate: haha guess you got all the brains between you, huh?
Aaron: *not sure why he’s so offended, but offended all the same*
-speaking of med classes, Aaron definitely gets that little jolt of excitement whenever a lecturer mentions twins or twin studies. quietly like ‘hey, that’s me, i have one of those’ it’s a thing
-definitely have dealt with creepy dudes at Eden’s Twilight who just have to mention the Twin Thing. Andrew punched one in the kidneys. Aaron thinks he should’ve used a knife.
-the Five Second Fight phenomenon
Aaron: *says something rude or aggressive at practise*
Andrew: *says something cruel*
silence. they stare at each other for a few seconds. Andrew slowly reaches out and flicks Aaron on the forehead. Aaron rolls his eyes and gives Andrew his Gatorade. It’s red flavour. Andrew’s favourite. They are both appeased. Everyone else is too scared to comment.
-they don’t have twin ~ESP~ or anything, because it mostly comes from years of over-exposure. they’re still working on that classic Twin Bond.
*both of them studying at 2am”
Aaron: i freakin’ hate anatomy, why do i need to know that the hyoid bone provides attachment for the larynx-
Andrew: that bone is often fractured in victims of strangulation
Andrew: in dead bodies. if the hyoid bone is fractured, often they’ve been strangled. Neil told me.
(shhh they’re bonding)