i found this on my laptop the other day

Polar Opposites (Part 1) | Zach Dempsey x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff
POV: Reader’s POV and Zach’s POV (Stated before a section)

A/N: Here’s my second request done! This was fun to write especially because the girl in the write-up is extremely similar to who I was in high school. Haha. And it’s the first time I’ve posted an imagine with different POVs. Please do tell me how this all works out or if you guys want me to stick to first person. Enjoy everyone!

Request:  Hey I was wondering if you can do an imagine where Zach falls for a girl after they talk about their favorite things and about what they want to be after high school. Like he’s passionate about being a marine biologist and he loves the sparkle in the girl’s eyes when she talks about her favorite books and how she says she wants to become an author or something along those lines. Maybe she even lets him read some of her writing?



He was the captain of the school’s basketball team, I was the student body president. He was often involved in after-school detention, I was always involved with extracurricular school activities. He was the class clown, I was the class nerd. He had girls running after him, I had boys running away from me. He was 6foot3, I was 5foot7.

I could probably go on with this list but I’m assuming you already catch my drift. We were polar opposites, which was why when our Media teacher chose us as partners for our upcoming media project, I couldn’t help but complain to him after class. Of course he stood by his decision and I was stuck with Zach Dempsey for a week.


Monday after school

“So, what is the project all about again?” Zach asks me while spinning on his desk chair like a 5 year old.

“Can you stop doing that please, my head’s starting to spin now.” I say as I rub my forehead with my eyes shut. A soft sorry escapes his lips as he stopped.

“Mr. Andrews said I have to do a profile about you, and you have to do the same for me. We can use any media we like as long as we’re creative with it. I’m planning on doing a powerpoint.” I reply as I go through my notebook.

“I guess I’ll just do a documentary, it’s the easiest thing to do and I’m pretty good at video editing.” he says as he looks up at the ceiling.

“Alright, fine, let’s get started then.” I suggest and we both get to work. I take a blank piece of paper from my binder and start interviewing him.

“So Zachary Dempsey, would you care to tell me some of your interests, your hobbies, likes and dislikes?” I ask him while clicking my pen.

“Interests: basketball, hobbies: basketball, likes: basketball, dislikes: the color orange, although funnily enough that’s the color of the ball.” he answers and I roll my eyes at him.

“Zach, I already know that you like basketball. I need other information.” I reply.

“Oh, so you want to get to know me better, eh?” he retors with a smirk growing on his face.

“Not known for his modesty.” I mumble to myself as I write it down my blank piece of paper.

“You need to chill Y/N, I was just kidding.” he says as he leans back on his chair and laughs. I exhale deeply and proceed with asking the questions for his profile.

“For the second time, please tell me some of your interests, your hobbies, likes and dislikes.” I say.

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30-Day Challenge : How To Be A Good Kisser

Originally posted by missbaptan

People rent a boyfriend because they need a companion but different for you, you rent a boyfriend because you need him to teach you to be a good kisser in a month

a/n : this idea keep circulating on my mind after i found a prompt in the other site. here’s only the teaser and i can’t wait to update it :)

Welcome to B4Rent!

You completely stunned without blinking your eyes even for a seconds as your eyes began to dig a deep hole on the screen of your laptop. After a few hours of fighting with your inner self whether this would be a good idea or not and finally you decided to click the enter button to access the site.

Please make sure you are 18 years old and above to apply because we don’t serve kids!

Your mind began to debate with yourself again, stating that this would be a worse yet horrible idea and things that you ever done since you have been living in the world for nineteen years. You lips pressed each other into a thin line and a sight of determination seen on your eyes. A sigh escaped from your lips as you already decided that you are going to apply these things. Now or never!

A click sounds produced from your wireless mouse as you already tick the box to confirm your age are above than 18. After a few milliseconds, your sight were greeted by a colourful yet vintage-like of application form that you need to fill up without leaving any section of it.

Your index finger that grasped the mouse tightly began to scroll down the site, to take a glimpse of what requirement that they need from you. At the same moment, your eyes that keep observing the form as well as your index finger that scrolling down the site synchronizing stopped at this particular section; payment section.

Your jaw dropped to the floor and your eyes began to widen every seconds and it seems to pop out from your eyes socket.

$15 per day

You jolted backwards on your chair as your brain began to calculate the total price for a month. Your fingers leaned against your scarlet lips and continuously tapping as your brain is processing all the mathematical formulae that you have learned in the school even though it just a simple calculation compared to the examination one.

$450 for a month!

You have to admit this amount is quite expensive for you especially you only depend on your monthly allowance from your parents. That quite large amount of money can support all your needs for almost five months and there’s no way you would spent your money on this things. But you need to! You are so desperate right now, you need to apply or else everything that you have dreamed of for the past years would be crumple like a piece of a used paper.

And it was like; God is allowing your action right now when your eyes catch a glimpse of the promotion located at the corner of the site.

Grab today’s promotion! If you’re applying for a month service instead of $450, we will give you 45% discount. This promotion only valid for today!

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Story time: Karma isn't a bitch, you are!

About 3 years ago, my friend was dealing with a colleague from his work place who had a boyfriend of 8 years. They both work night shifts and since his house was on her way home, she always used to drop him and they would fuck… they used to fuck all the time and he would brag about it like it’s something amazing.

Me, him and 2 of our good friends went out to eat and he was just talking about it as he would (I guess it was thrilling because they would fuck at hers when the bf was at work) then my friend asked him “don’t you think it’s not kool to do that to my man?” To which he responded “I don’t know him lool” and I told him “fam, this could happen to you, you know” and he said “I watch my steps when I walk” and we all said “what goes around come around, don’t act like the universe isn’t looking and karma doesn’t exist” and that was that and life went on…

Late last year, him and I went shopping in central London and he met this girl who he fancied straight away, there were 2 of them so I had to be the wingman… they started talking and it was progressing, they were seeing each other every other day, life was good and it was happily ever after.

He called me on Valentine’s Day sounding like someone had just died because he found pictures and a video of his “girlfriend” on her laptop, in bed with another guy and the video was her fucking this guy, he started crying on the phone.

My mind took me back to that day we had that conversation and I know this is gonna sound harsh but I couldn’t feel sorry for him. I just fake emphatized and said “people are people”

My mum said this once “you could be a bump on someone else’s road but remember that you have your own road to walk on and trust me, it will be bumpy”

The irony in this is that he said “I watch my steps when I walk”

He’s still in a dark place but like I said “ people are people and life goes on”

He Hears You Sing For The First Time

4/4 Preference with gifs.

Reader x boy

About 500 words


“Hello?” I called as I walked into the rather large house I shared with 7 other people in LA. Not believing I was home alone, I called out again. “Guys? Is anyone home?”

Just then, I heard footsteps pounding down the stairs and into the kitchen where I had just entered. I turned around to see Ashton hurriedly collecting his things.

“Hey, Y/N. See ya later!” He said as he started to pass me.

“Wait, Ash! Where is everyone?” I asked.

“Well the guys just called emergency band practice at the studio. Crystal had some photoshoot to go to this morning. Arzaylea and (Y/F/N) went shopping. They’d probably come pick you up or you could go meet them where ever they are,” He suggested as he started to exit the house. As he said that, another idea creeped into my brain.

“You’re blocking me in,” He informed me, sticking his head back in the door. Not feeling like moving my car, I threw him my keys. He thanked me and hurried out the door. I watched as my car drove past the front door and off of our street. Smiling, I took my over-the-shoulder bag off and hung it on one of the hooks. Then, I made my way down the hallway to the room I shared with Calum. I slipped my shoes off before strolling into the bathroom to turn on the shower. It was quiet and the sound of the water hitting the ground echoed. Satisfied, I pulled my shirt over my head and continued to undress. Finally, I put my playlist on shuffle and stepped into the shower. I let the warm water rinse away the stress and tension in my body.

As If You Don’t Know started playing, I couldn’t help but harmonize with it. Thankfully, the acoustics in the shower and volume of the music prevented me from hearing anything else, including my voice. Although, when I turned off the water, I continued to sing it as it was one of my favorite songs. I wrapped myself in a towel before stepping out of the shower. When I looked up, I was surprising to see Calum standing there with a smirk.

“Calum! What the hell!” I whined, holding the towel to my body tightly.

“I didn’t know you could sing,” He replied smugly, ignoring my comment. At this, my cheeks started to burn and I tried to push past him.

“You heard that?” I asked, embarrassed.

“Yeah. Why didn’t you tell me you can sing?” He asked, following me back into our room.

“Because I can’t,” I replied, putting on one of his shirts and some underwear. I could practically feel him roll his eyes. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You have an amazing voice,” He whispered in my ear.


I checked my appearance in the front camera on my phone before stepping on of the Uber. I wasn’t really a party scene type of person but Ashton had convinced me to go. Once I met up with the guys and we had a few drinks, it actually started to be a fun party. Everyone was pretty tipsy when we sat down to play truth or dare.

“(Y/N),” My best friend slurred from across the circle, “Truth Or Dare?”

“Dare,” I replied, feeling risky.

“I dare you to sing,” She giggled. I shot her a glare which only made her laugh harder. I watched as Ashton realized he had never heard me sing before.

“Ooh! Sing Out Of My Limit!” A drunken Luke commanded. Lovingly, I rolled my eyes and sighed as I prepared to sing. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see everyone’s reactions. I sang a little bit of the song before erupting into giggles.

“(Y/N)! That was really good!” Michael insisted. I shook my head but smiled at him.

“No, babe. He’s right,” Ashton insisted sincerely. I smiled and thanked him before placing my lips on his.


Michael and I had been flirting for a few weeks after my cousin, Luke, introduced us. I was on my way over to their house when Luke texted me.

Luke: If you aren’t here in 5 minutes, I’m showing Michael on of our old covers

I smirked as I turned onto their street seconds later. I ended up walking in the house 2 minutes after I received the text only to find all four boys on the couch. The cover of Can’t Help Falling In Love that Luke and I recorded when we were about 14 echoed throughout the house.

“Luke!” I scolded, making them all turn around to look at me. Luke laughed as he sat up to talk to me.

“Sorry. I didn’t think you’d get here,” He explained. I rolled my eyes as I sat down on the couch with them.

“We sound awful,” I cringed as we continued watching the video.

“It’s not that bad,” Michael replied.

“No. It’s bad. We’re both a lot better now. Right, (Y/N)?” Luke said. I glared at him as curiosity rose within the other boys. Ashton reached over and paused the video.

“Let’s hear it,” He ordered. Luke reached over towards the laptop and searched for something. By the time I realized what he was looking for, he had already found it.

“Luke,” I groaned as my cousin put the computer back on the table and pressed play. He had caught me singing a few days before and recorded it. Not wanting to listen to it, I excused myself to get a snack from the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell me you could sing?” Michael asked, entering the kitchen a minute later. I shrugged and continued eating.

“You know you’re pretty good,” He said. Instead of speaking, I gave him a dumbfounded look.

“I think it’s hot that you can sing,” He continued.

“Really?” I asked playfully.

“Really,” He confirmed, biting his lip.

“Ok, ok. I just want food but now I’ve lost my appetite,” Luke said as he turned on his heels to exit the kitchen. We both laughed and followed him back to the other boys.


We were playfully singing and dancing in the car as Luke drove home from the grocery store. I was more yelling than singing as I dramatically flipped my hair and tossed myself around. In the middle of a song, Luke turned the volume down.

“Hey!” I whined.

“I’ve never heard you truly sing,” He said. I simply shrugged and turned to look out the window.

“Come on, (Y/N). You hear me sing all the time,” He begged.

“That’s because it’s your job and you’re good at it,” I argued.

“I’ll sing with you then,” He compromised. Knowing I wasn’t going to win the argument, I sighed.

“Fine,” I grumbled making a smile spread across Luke’s face. He started singing the chorus of Teenage Dream and I harmonized it. He stopped abruptly in the middle of a word.

“The fuck you mean you can’t sing, (Y/N)? You’re over here trying to show me up,” He said. I giggled and slipped my tiny hand into Luke’s free one.

“You’re such a liar,”

New series coming soon!!! I’m doing a collab with 5sosaudedits so follow her!


anonymous asked:

Dear Duke, I've been working on a first draft pretty consistently for about a month now. Do you feel it's important to write every single day? Is it okay to take breaks if you need them or can't make the time/energy to write? Any words of encouragement/advice would be great

I think it’s a really good idea to try to train yourself to write every day, because (1) that’s how you finish the stuff you start and (2) that’s how you learn to work through the rough patches. Obviously you are going to have days where that just isn’t an option, but if you only write when it’s convenient/fun/going well, there are a lot of good habits you’re not cultivating. If you only ever write when you feel like it, it’s never going to be anything more than a hobby (and if that’s all you want it to be, that’s fine), because it’s going to become very easy for you to table projects for days or weeks at a time because you just don’t feel like working on it. Serious/career-oriented writing requires a serious work ethic, just like any other art form or occupation. Sometimes it’s not fun. Sometimes it’s a huge pain in the ass. That’s normal. That’s fine. In fact, that’s kind of as it should be. That’s part and parcel of being a writer. I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve found myself sitting on my bed after work or class (or both), staring at my laptop, knowing the last thing I want to do is try to write but that if I want to stay on track I have to do it. That’s when you pour some coffee or mix a drink and grit your teeth and dive in anyway, and a few months down the line you might actually have a whole first draft. I don’t know if those qualify as words of encouragement but they are the truth, at least in my experience. That’s all I can speak from. Every writer is different, so take my advice with a grain of salt. 

Just to wrap up I will add: writing when you don’t feel like it is a lot like going to the gym when you don’t feel like it. The prospect is miserable and you basically have to bully yourself into actually doing it, but afterward you never regret it, because as much as it may have sucked in the moment, you’ve accomplished something, and you’re that much closer to your goal. 


While writing a new thing I found this saved on my laptop that I wrote ages ago.

Today is Sunday. Beca’s favourite day.

She usually spends most of it in bed, eventually moving when she’s hungry or forgotten that she left her headphones on the other side of the room from the night before *wink wink*. The remainder of her day is spent laying on the couch in the Bella house watching a shitty reality show because she was “forced” by her girlfriend, Chloe. She enjoys mindless garbage TV shows. She wouldn’t admit that to anyone, she’s Beca Effin’ Mitchell for god’s sake.

But today is different from her usual Sunday, she had to get out of bed at 7:30 in the morning to get to a job interview to intern at Residual Heat. To say the least, she was nervous, she was shitting metaphorical bricks. Nobody knew she had an interview, she definitely didn’t want to tell Chloe. She didn’t want her to have another thing to stress about with the Worlds and graduation coming up.

Getting ready in the morning was pretty easy, Amy was still out from the night before from her milkshake trip. Amy never has been the best liar. She had to be quiet because she knew that Chloe was a very light sleeper and she usually gets up early for her morning run. This meant she had to be stealthy. She finished getting ready at 7:45. “Phew” Beca thought to herself, “all I need to do is actually get there on time”. She ran out of the house and locked the door. She mentally high fived herself.

While stood on the corner near the Bella house waiting for Jesse, she heard Titanium getting louder. “Fuck! Why did she have to pick a new route? Today of all days.”. Beca looked for the nearest place she could hide, the only thing in sight was a bush. “I guess that will have to do…” she made a leap for it just in time for Chloe to jog passed in her bright pink sports gear. “I thought she was the athlete in the relationship”. She got up from behind the bush, brushing the dead leaves off of her, seeing that Jesse had arrived. “I need to take that cardio tip more seriously”, she made a note on her phone to start walking a little more vigorously. She got in his car with her laptop bag and off she went.

The interview only lasted 30 minutes. She felt down hearted because they only asked for one of her tracks to listen to. She got back in Jesse’s car, being silent the whole way back to the house. When she got back the house was empty, she looked at her phone, it was 11am. She took off her shoes and went up to her room, hoping Amy wasn’t back. She opened the door and huffed, Amy didn’t even look up from her phone “I won’t say anything if you don’t”. “Deal”.

Beca showered her disappointment off, dried herself and then went straight back to bed in an oversized Barden University top that she borrowed off of Chloe, probably Tom’s. She finally fell asleep and forgot all about her interview.

She woke up when her stomach began to rumble and went down the stairs to see Chloe sprawled on the couch watching the Kardashians. She went into the kitchen to get herself a bowl of cereal. Specifically, Golden Grahams, they were hidden behind the healthy stuff. Her excuse: “desperate times calls for desperate measures, especially if this is the only Graham I will ever have in my life!”. She got out her phone expecting to see the ‘sorry but you weren’t suitable for the job’ email, but to her surprise there wasn’t one. What she did find was one saying that she can start next Wednesday. “Fuck yeah!”, she didn’t realise that she said that out loud until she heard “Babe, what happened?” being squeaked from the other room. Beca had to think on her feet “errmmm, I forgot where I put Graham, but I found him…”. “Okay you weirdo, come watch the Kardashians with me before everyone comes back. I haven’t had my Sunday cuddle with you”. Beca knew Chloe was pouting; she could practically hear it through the wall.

She did as she was told (Beca thinks she’s not whipped, but everyone knows it) and she brought the bowl through with her and snuggled up to Chloe. She felt guilty not telling Chloe about the interview, but then she looked up at Chloe’s face and forgot all about it. They stayed in that position until they both woke up, laughing at the position they ended up in.

*Just imagine an octopus trying to knit*

One by one, each Bella filled into the house. The familiar noises made Beca feel happy that she had friends like them, they were her nerds. They ended up playing a game of Twister with a twist. The twist was Amy’s world famous jungle juice. This carried on until they all dropped like flies and slept where they fell on the mat. It was a sight to see.

Beca was the only one left awake, barely, she looked around smiling to herself. She then gave her girlfriend a kiss on her forehead and wrapped them both up in Chloe’s favourite blanket- bright pink with unicorns on, definitely not Beca’s choice. She may or may not have rolled her eyes when Chloe placed it in the shopping cart. In the long run, she didn’t care because when they were both snuggled into each other underneath it, she was the most content she had ever been.

The day was Sunday, still Beca’s favourite day.

Doodle thing with blurb!

Time being around 1931, after Roy Mustang reaches the position of Fuhrer in 1928, Ed’s SSDAS is moved to governmental installations next to the headquarters in Central. It was hard to find them a space of their own but after a whole bureaucratic process it was finally achieved. Moving everything -read researches, machinery, books and experiments- while maintaining their productiveness up was probably the hardest part.

During this year too, the SSDAS is declared officially a governmental institution and its members are given proper statues as such (in equivalents to military ranks).

Win a boyfriend? (requested)

Anonymous said:

hello! i was wondering if you can do a Dan imagine where Y/N wins a contest to spend the day with him but he thinks she is going to be another crazy fan. when they spend the day together he starts falling for her because it turns out she isn’t just a crazy fan and she treats him like any other person. this might be a stupid request but it sound cute :/

This was a brilliant idea! I may have gotten carried away and wrote a ton… but thank you for the request!! Hope you enjoy it!

(Word Count: 2887 Wowww)


“Come on Y/N you should just sign up for fun!” My friend Maggie told me as I looked at her laptop screen. She had pulled up a contest page to win a day with Dan Howell, aka Danisnotonfire on youtube. I had only found him a few months ago though Maggie who was, to put it nicely very dedicated to him and his best friend Phil. I myself though simply enjoyed his videos thinking they were thought out and planned well. She was trying to get me to enter the competition simply for the heck of it.

“It’s not even like I will win.” I shrugged not wanting to sign up for it, but Maggie’s eye was boring into mine making me groan loudly. “Fine! Give me the damn laptop.” I mumbled getting Maggie to giggle happily and hand me her mac book. I typed in my information for it on the site and rechecked to make sure all my information was correct on it before I handed her the laptop back. “There submit it.” I shrugged leaning back against the wall of my bedroom.

“Nope, you have to submit it yourself! If I do it will feel as though I forced you to do this!” Maggie Insisted turning her laptop to face me once more. I shook my head pressing the submit button. “Yes! See that wasn’t so hard now was it Y/N?” She teased before I threw my pillow at her.

“Shut up, Let’s play some Mario Kart now. I want to destroy you again.” I smirked shutting my laptop and stood up. She pouted before she got up herself and moved with me out of the room. I wasn’t going to lie, deep down I sort of wished to win the completion. It would be cool to spend the day with him, to simply hang out and get to know the Daniel behind the camera.

*Fast Forward*

It was about five in the morning when my phone went off with my ringtone of Maggie screaming “Answer it’s me you bimbo!” She had set it as her own personal ringtone when I had gotten this phone months back. I groaned rolling onto my stomach and unhooked the cell from charger. The screaming stopped when I answered it.

“what’s up?” I mumbled my voice filled with tiredness and yearning to go back to sleep. I sat up slowly turning my light on in the process of Maggie screaming incoherent words to me. “Dan Howell. Competition. Website. Go.” Was all I was able to comprehend. “Maggie! Slow down what are you trying to say?” I asked with a soft yawn.

“Y/N. Go to Dan’s twitter… right now…” She said more slowly her voice filled with excitement. I could picture her in her blue and white pajamas sitting on her bed bouncing a bit on the phone. I rolled my eyes and shut the light laying back. “Maggie, it is five in the morning. I’ll look at it when I wake up.” I said as I shut my eyes. “goodnight.” I added before I hung up to Maggie screaming “but Y/N It’s-“  I plugged my phone back in and rolled over going back to sleep.

When I woke up it was about ten o’clock and my phone was ringing with the generic Iphone ringtone. I grabbed my phone looking at the weird number and raised a brow before I sat up. I rubbed my eyes and answered the phone. “Hello?” I questioned fighting back a yawn as I looked to my window, the light shining brightly burning my eyes slightly.

“Hello! Is this y/f/n?” The voice asked on the other side of the line. This got my attention. “Um, yes?” I responded. I heard a chuckle and then a “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” The voice sounded familiar, the chuckle as well but I couldn’t place the voice. I shook my head before I knew the stranger couldn’t see me. “No. Okay well yeah but I needed to wake up.” I yawned moving my feet off my bed. “Who’s this?” I asked as I stood up cracking my back to relieve a bit of pressure.

“Oh, yeah sorry! This is Daniel Howell. I’m calling about the competition you won.” He responded making me fully wake up. I guess I was to silent as I processed everything which made him add “Are you still there?” I took a deep breath “Yeah. Yeah sorry I- just wow…” I chuckled softly. “well. I was wondering when you wanted to hang out. I would pay for the cab to pick you up since I see you live in London as well.” He explained

We decided we could hang out at about noon today since him and I were both free and we would meet for Lunch at a restaurant nearby. After our conversation I hung up and let out a “HOLY SHIT HOW THE FREAK DID I WIN” kind of scream and did a little dance. Okay, maybe not a scream, but I did to a little dance. This was the first competition I ever won so I had every right to be happy!

I got ready for the day, eating a small bowl of shreedies, showering, changing, putting on some makeup. I wanted to at least look like a human when I met him. My outfit I chose was a pair of black distressed jeans with a white tank top a black leather coat and my black converse. I simply lined my eyes with a bit of eyeliner and mascara not wanting to overdo it before I heard my door bell. I tossed a few things into my bag, my phone, a charger, a camera, some spare cash as I went to answer the door. Dan stood there with a little grin on his lips, a flash of surprise in his eyes as he saw me. “Y/N?” He asked as if to make sure I was the right girl.

“Yup that’s me! It’s nice to meet you Dan.” I said with a smile as I took a step out of my door and locked it behind me. Dan watched with curiosity and took a step back. “It’s nice to meet you as well.” He said opening his arms indicating a hug. I raised a brow but chuckled and gave him a small hug. He moved his arms around me hugging me back a bit awkwardly before we both pulled away.  “Let’s get going. I’m starving!” Dan joked as he turned and walked towards the cab waiting for us.

During the cab ride we played twenty questions, or well. He played and I answered most of the questions were simple. “how old are you?” “21.” “how did you find me?” “through my friend Maggie.” “what do you do?” “I am a university drop out. Was training to be a teacher, wanted to be a writer instead.” The list went on from foods, to music, to how much of a fangirl I was about things. He was surprised though I wasn’t a huge fangirl over him.

“I was sure that the winner would be some obsessed girl. Which isn’t bad! I was just worried I would be kidnapped by one…” he joked grinning with a chuckle as he looked at me. I laughed along with him. We had gotten lunch and were walking down the street now as we thought of something to do. It was already like him and I were close friends. Especially when we were asked nicely to leave the restaurant because we were being “a distraction to those around us.” For laughing to hard at some stories we told. He had told me about his hamster, and I had told him about a time I accidently fell into a lake while trying to throw something.”

It was about five when he looked to me. “Want to go to my flat? We could play some video games if you want.” He asked raising a brow as if to judge what I was about to say. A smirk grew on my lips before I nodded “only if you wanna have your arse kicked in Mario Kart.” I said with a soft chuckle. “Is that a challenge?” he responded with a smirk as well.We got ourselves a cab and he gave the cabbie his address. I pulled my phone out texting Maggie a quick text since she was blowing up my phone with “tell me about Dan, give me a video, face time me!” Dan glanced over to my phone and chuckled softly “So that’s Maggie huh?” He asked looking up at me with a grin. I nodded texting Maggie to stop before I responded. “Yeah, major phangirl. She’s begging for you to face time her.” I shrugged as I went to put my phone away but he stopped me.

“Call her, I can talk for a few minutes.” He said looking at me seriously. I raised a brow questioning it for a moment before he responded. “She’s the reason you’re here with me. I want to thank her. Also she’s a fan and I wanna try to meet or speak to every one of them if I have the chance” He said. Moments later Maggie’s face appeared on my phone as I face timed her. I didn’t let her see Dan yet wanting to calm her a little. When I thought it was safe, I gave Dan my phone and they spoke for a bit. Maggie was being calm, or well… more calm than before as she stumbled over words to tell Daniel. Like the good friend that I am I recorded this on my camera for her since, well she was on her phone. Dan finished the conversation and handed me my phone back. I said good bye to Maggie then hung up as the cab stopped.

Dan got out and paid the cabbie as I got out of the cab. I moved to the pavement and looked up at the building as Dan turned to face me. “ready?” He asked as he moved to the door and opened it. I nodded and followed him inside and looked up the stairs forgetting how many there were. “Third floor.” He shrugged as he began his climb with me following. When we got to his front door I was mentally cursing how unfit I was, then he opened the door and there were more. “You’ve got to be kidding.” I muttered getting a laugh from Dan. “I know, we’re almost there though.”

After our final climb up the set of stairs I was in a familiar hallway, the one from his apartment tour video and a few others. “Here’s the lounge, feel free to relax and I’ll get us some tea.” He said nodding to me with a smile. I agreed and walked into the longue looking around. I moved towards the gaming systems in amazement before looking around at the few pictures hanging around to the Black sofa with Dan’s sofa crease. A chuckle danced from my lips as I moved and sat down next to the crease assuming Dan was going to claim his rightful spot. He walked in a minute later with the two mugs of tea. He had choosen the Rubix cube mug, and the hello kitty mug. He handed me the hello kitty one and sat down.

“So as I remember you said you were going to kick my arse in Mario Kart?” He asked smirking as I took a sip. He set up the game as I nodded “Im a master.” I replied casually setting my mug down and took the remote from him. The game began and after four rounds it was tied two to two with one last round.

“Ha! First!” He said as he over took me, but that was a mistake as I used my blue shell and knocked him out of first again. “what were you saying Howell?” I smirked looking at him as he exclaimed “what!” in an octave higher than his normal voice. I had beat him winning the last game and claiming victory. Dan set his remote down mumbling angrily making me laugh. “Sucks to lose.” I teased poking his cheek. He laughed and stood up shutting the system off. “There’s no proof that you won.” He said looking at me. I gasped shaking my head. “Rude.” I mumbled before a sound of thunder rumbled through the room. I looked up to the window seeing it was down pouring outside.

“Crap, how late is it?” I asked standing as he checked his phone. “about ten.” He responded looking from the window to me. “If you want… you can stay here for the night. I don’t feel like it’s safe for you to travel in this rain.” He said moving towards me. I looked at him raising a brow. “what about Phil? When is he returning?” I asked. Dan shook his head “He’s in Florida with some family.” He shrugged “You can stay in his room if you want. I have something you can borrow as well.” He added. As another stuck of thunder rumbled in the sky I nodded agreeing. “sure that’s fine.”

Dan smiled happily before he put up a finger indicating he would be right back before he ran out of the room. I smiled to myself chuckling at his happiness. For some reason I couldn’t shake the feeling of my own happiness off. I was spending the night with Dan. Well, at his house, not really with him but it was the same difference. He had proved himself to be quite a gentleman today. He was more sweet than I imagined, more handsome as well. The way his jaw clenched as he focused on winning, the smirk on his lips when he thought he would win. I shook my head getting those thoughts out of my head. I had just met him for god sake, but now that I was thinking of It I couldn’t let it go.

Dan came back in with a small pile of clothes in his hands for me but stopped raising an eyebrow. “Y/N why are you blushing?” He asked confused. My eyes widened as I now felt the blush on my cheeks darken more. “N-no reason! Thanks for the clothes!” I said moving to grab them and disappeared down the hall to change in the bathroom. I could feel Dan’s eyes on me until I went into the bathroom and shut the door.

I looked at my red face and shook my head as I changed into the sweat pants and shirt he got me. I washed my face and then looked at my outfit. I looked ridiculous in his huge clothes, but honestly what did I expect it would look like when he was a giant. I pulled my y/h/c into a messy bun on the top of my head to get it out of my face, then walked back out to the lounge. Dan had already changed into his own sweats and his grey tank top he used to wear in older videos. “How does a movie night sound?” He asked looking over at me holding movies but stopped seeing how I looked. A faint blush formed on his cheeks. “You look adorable.” He chuckled making my cheeks flame up a bit. I moved and fell back onto the sofa. “Shush!” I laughed hiding my face. “You’re a giant!” I added looking up at him.

Dan laughed along with me as he sat down on the sofa next to me. “I get that a lot.” He grinned as he pressed a button on a remote. “I thought we could watch big hero six.” He said looking at me as if to make sure it was alright. My smile grew a bit as I nodded. “Perfect sounds like a plan!” I responded as he pressed play. The movie began and by the end of it I was cuddled up against Dan with his arm around me. My head laid against his chest as I slowly dozed on and off. When the movie ended he moved a bit and looked down at me smiling softly. I looked up at him as silence filled the room.

His eyes glanced down to my lips for a split second before he looked into my eyes. It felt as though we sat there like that for hours before I felt him leaning in and his warm breath was right above my lips. I moved up gently connecting our lips and slowly we kissed. His lips were soft and tender against mine as he kissed me pulling me closer lightly. When we pulled away I looked up into his light brown eyes a blush on both of our cheeks. His lips came to mine again as he kissed me once more then pulled back before I could react.

A few seconds after he finally broke the silence. “Y/N would you like to go on a date with me… tomorrow?” He asked softly. A smile formed on my lips before I nodded “I would love to.” I said softly before he kissed my forehead and brought me back into his chest as we stayed there the rest of the night cuddling and watching movies.

Glitch In The Matrix Stories #8

Glitch On Campus

I was walking through campus one evening, it must have been around December, and it was dark out except for the light posts throughout campus. I was going down a sidewalk that, in the distance, went underneath a “bridge” between two buildings. As I was approaching the building, I saw two people ahead of me - one walking away and one walking toward me. As I was watching them, it seemed like time slowed down, and all I could focus on was that one small scene in front of me.

I blinked and suddenly they were walking in reverse. It looked like they were walking backwards and they seemed to be talking to each other as if they were having a conversation and I even saw them wave. But suddenly the scene “glitched” and they were walking normally past each other again, completely oblivious as if nothing had just happened.

Credits to: erica-elizabethh

My Childhood Friend’s Closet

I say childhood but in reality the friendship stretched to age 17, definitely old enough for it to not just be a kid with bad memory thing.

When I was a kid I had a friend called Harry that lived down my road. Because we went to the same primary school we often hung out at each other’s houses. Sometimes sleeping over. I was always terrified of the wardrobe in his bedroom. The door would slant open even when you jammed it shut, and Harry always shut it without a second thought. 7 year old me instantly assumed devil ghost monsters.

Through high school we crashed at his place a few times, late nights “studying” (Mortal Combat FTW). I came out as gay around that time, and he stuck a label on the wardrobe door that said “BrokenBaubles closet!” (This is important as it definitely verifies that it was there). I laughed and ripped it off, shoving it in my pocket. The wardrobe still slightly concerned me, although now I was a teenager I could justify it as crap hinges. (Further confirmation, my mum washed my coat and found the label in the washing machine filter thing a week later after it flooded the kitchen). 

One day, nothing special about it really, we decided to go back to his for the first time in about a year. I said “As long as your creepy fucking wardrobe stays shut from now on”. He looked at me weirdly but said nothing else.

The wardrobe wasn’t there. 

Flat white wall with some Liverpool FC posters on it. No wardrobe in sight. The wardrobe was built into the wall of an old Victorian house. There was no fucking way they sealed over it that cleanly. It was gone. I asked him about it and he just said why the hell would he have a wardrobe. I laughed and asked him how he got the seal so clean, he stared at me with the biggest “WTF” Look I’ve ever seen. I guess I left a bad impression by “not remembering” because we never hung out again after that.

I’m nearly 30 now and this still gets to me. I have the guy on Facebook and want to message him so badly but don’t want to come across as insane.

Credits to: BrokenBaubles

A Text That I Never Received

It was my first year of college and I was in a study room with a couple of friends. My phone died so I went to charge it. The cable didn’t reach to the table so it was just in the corner of the room on the floor. Some minutes later I went to check and the phone was charged and when I pressed the home button I saw a few text notifications from my friend Shelly whom I hadn’t really spoken to since like 10th grade in high school. 

Like usual, I just skimmed the texts to see if there was anything important and I saw that she had texted me about “tropical penguins” (this was an inside joke because we liked the band Arctic Monkeys). So because I’m a procrastinator I decided to stop studying to text her back. 

When I unlocked my phone, I didn’t have any new messages, not from Shelly or anyone else. I then checked Twitter, Facebook and every other social media. But I never found the messages. Then I went on my laptop because maybe it was there (iMessage) but nothing. I searched and searched for 30 minutes and was freaking out the whole time. Finally I had the courage to message her on Facebook (really didn’t want to do this because I hadn’t talked to her in years) and she confirmed that she never sent anything.

To this day I don’t know what happened and I know it’s not an exciting story like the others on here but it really freaks me out.

Credits to: rohuca

I Saw My Grandmother In The Wrong Place 

I went over to my grandmother’s because she had a computer issue and asked me to look at it. I parked and walked down to the pool, usually that’s where she is in the summer.

As I’m walking and about 30ft away I notice a duck swimming on the surface. I grab my phone to take a pic. On my phone if you double press the power button its a shortcut to the camera. I double press and it starts but freezes and turns to black screen, not something I can recall it doing before.

I look up and I see a figure moving and duck down behind the deck by the filter. This isn’t it uncommon, as my grandmother fiddles with the filter whenever she cleans or does maintenance to the pool. I notice a bright pink color, I figure it’s her shirt, but it’s hard to see much more than that because I can only see through deck spindles from where I’m standing.

I then hear her say, “SHOO” and the duck reacts. It jumps onto the side of the pool and then flies away. Just as it goes out of site my phone “unglitches” and the camera comes on.

I laughed, because she has told me before that she’s had problems with ducks making her pool home. I start walking around the deck and say something to announce I’m here. I turn the corner and face the filter… there’s no one there. I look back toward the house. I walk around the pool. No one.

I walk back up to the house, go inside and call out. She answers, she’s in the back bedroom. I go back there and find her at her computer, wearing a bright pink shirt. Needless to say this is messing with my head a bit. It’s almost as if my brains way of dealing with it is to push it out.

I asked her if she was down at the pool, as if a 73 year old woman could sprint past me up a hill without me seeing. She was not. I ended up telling her and later my boyfriend what I saw. They were both strangely apathetic about it. The whole thing just feels weird.

Credits to: shitstormneverends

Knullrufs (A Michael Fanfic Pt.2)

College!Michael AU

Knullrufs-(n.)the messy, tangled, and disheveled post-coital bed hair

Summary: Michael is the resident hook-up savant at Y/N college. Notorious for great one night stands and never being with the same girl twice, Y/n starts to wonder what all the talk is about.


Part one Part three Part four

A/N: When your boss won’t let you leave work early so you can post the second chapter to your smut fic

The next morning I made a somewhat proud walk of shame back to my dorm where I ended up finding 10 other girls from my building clapping as I entered the lounge room. It was almost like I was an athlete and won a big game.

My best friend runs up to me, grabbing my hands, and basically jumping with joy. “So? How was it?”

All of the girls became eerily quiet waiting for my answer. I just stood there for a second unsure of what to say before a brilliant idea came to mind.

“It was alright.” I shrugged nonchalantly getting shocked gasps and groans form the crowd.

“Well what do you mean by ‘It was alright.’?” Asked a girl I’m pretty sure I’ve never even seen before.

“I mean it was alright.” I start walking towards my room. “It wasn’t bad, but I don’t think it’s worth all the hoopla it gets.” I open the door and step inside making way for my best friend to join me.

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The Son next door - Part 2

Believe me, I’m as surprised as you are dear reader, I didn’t see it coming…


Originally posted by omgelijah


It was putting some distance between us, I had left my apartment and was looking for another one. I had called my friend, who worked in a hotel, and my suitcases were in a corner, while I walked around the room. I couldn’t go back to my parents house, they would ask too many questions and my nephew was sleeping in my old room.

I knew I was being a coward, another thing that I hated, but it was better this way. I couldn’t be with Juice while I was afraid of his club. We would forget each other and move on. I kept telling myself that while I looked for apartments on internet. Room service knocked on my door with dinner and I forced myself to eat it. It was night outside and I was tired of looking at the laptop screen. I just laid in bed, looking at the ceiling until a fall asleep.

The alarm on my phone woke me up, telling me I should get up and be ready for another day at work. I took a shower and put on the first pair of jeans I found on my suitcase. I was almost ready to leave when someone knocked on the door. I opened it and felt my heart skip a beat.

Juice’s POV

He crossed the hall with large steps and grabbed his laptop from the counter. This would probably make things worse, but he had to find her. Y/N had left because of him and Juice was feeling bad about it. 

He tried the easy alternative first, track her phone. He wrote the address down, but it was too late to go after her. Juice grabbed a beer and sat on the couch, the laptop on his lap. He did another quick research and she had used her credit card only to pay the hotel. He finished the beer and laid on his bed, computer on his side. Juice stared at the dot on the screen until he fall asleep.


He put a cap on and his hoodie, letting the kutte at home. Juice didn’t ask for her on the reception, he had the number of the room where she was. He took a deep breath before knock on her door. He heard steps and the keys, and then Y/N was in front of him, eyes wide and mouth ajar.

“How did you find me?”, she blurted, astonished.

“Your phone”, Juice said, biting his lip. Y/N creased her brow for a moment.

“Did you hack my phone?”, Y/N raised her voice and Juice gently pushed her inside the room.

“Can we talk inside please?”, he grimaced, closing the door behind him. She was glaring at him, arms crossed. “I got worried, you disappeared”

“That is not an excuse for hacking my phone”, she barked. Y/N closed her eyes, pinching her nose, “Jesus Christ”

Juice sat on bed, sighing, “Y/N, can we talk please?”, he begged.

“Talk about what?”, she asked, cocking her head to the side, “I already told you Juice, I can’t be with you. I can’t have the things that your club does in my conscience or live with the constant fear of something happening with the people I care about. This ain’t living Juice, you know that”

“Please”, he stared at her, hopeful.

“I’m sorry Juice”, Y/N let her arms fall down her sides and he knew, nothing he could say would change her mind.

“I thought we could work this out. Give us a chance”, Juice looked down, clenching his jaw hard, “I felt for you Y/N, but I will respect your wish… You don’t have to leave your apartment, I’ll leave mine”

“Juice…”, she whispered, but Juice cut her off.

“I can go back to the clubhouse, stay there until I find another place”, he got up and stood in front of Y/N, his hand itching to touch her, “You can go back by the end of the day. I won’t be there”


Juice left my room and I let myself fall on the bed, the tears finally flowing down my face. I had felt for him too, but I was scared. Thankfully, nobody close to me had suffered because of SAMCRO, but I heard stories. How was I supposed to live with the violence? What about prison? What would I do if Juice came home with blood on his clothes? I couldn’t see myself living like that.

I decided to call work, tell I was sick. I curled up in bed and turned off my phone. I only got up to go to the bathroom and finally ask for something to eat at lunch. I washed my face and combed my hair before leave the room. I returned the key, waiting for someone to help me with my suitcase. I decided to go back to my apartment, with or without Juice living next door.

When I got to our floor, I saw his apartment door open. Young boys were inside carrying boxes, they were wearing leather kuttes. I looked away and rushed to get inside my place, sliding to the floor as soon as the door closed.


My life was back to normal; work, home, visiting my parents… Juice’s apartment was still empty and I hadn’t seen any Son around town in weeks. One of my coworkers was trying to introduce me her cousin, a lawyer, but I wasn’t really interested. I was spending my weekends on my apartment, ordering pizza for dinner and eating it as breakfast too.

I woke up late, I had been sleeping more in the last few days and I was also hungry. I walked to the kitchen and was ready to grab a slice of pepperoni pizza for my Sunday breakfast when its smell hit me and I felt sick. I rushed to the bathroom to throw up, already cursing my immune system for failing and let me get sick. I was pale when I finally got up and looked at the mirror. I washed my face, opened the cabinet to grab a new toothpaste, and then I froze, staring at the tampons there.

“Oh shit”, I cursed, feeling sick again.

To be continued…

Read Part 3

The Voice

summary: Dan didn’t to hear a voice in his head, because that would mean he had a soulmate. Dan didn’t want love. For Dan, loving someone meant getting hurt. When he heard the voice for the first time, he tried to shut it out. Can he shut it out forever?
Genre: Lots of angst, some fluff and comfort, friends to lovers, soulmate AU
Warnings: None I think. Let me know if this needs warnings!
Word count: 2707
A/N: So this is my first phanfic. I wrote this months ago and decided that I didn’t like it, but I found this on my old laptop and I think it’s worth sharing it with you guys. Let me know what you think!

Dan was frightened. He tried to go over every person he’d met that day to find out who could be the stranger in his head, but he didn’t have a clue. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know.

He didn’t want this. His parents had told him the story of when they heard each other for the first time. That special first time when they knew they’d found their soulmate.

Because that’s how life works, Dan was told. When you met your soulmate, you’d start having a connection. You’d feel different for a few hours. And then the real thing started: the voice. You’d be able to communicate with your soulmate using only your thoughts. It was magical.

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Summary: Dan loves Phil so much that he actually finds himself crying. Pure sweet sugary Phan fluff!

It was a late Tuesday evening. Dan had finished his liveshow almost an hour ago. Phil had been cooking while that was going on, and so by the time Dan had finished there was a deliciously made stir fry prepared. Both youtubers had cleaned their plates and were now cuddling together.

Both of Dan’s arms were locked tightly around Phil, their legs tangled together as they lay sprawled across the long couch. Phil’s head lay snugly against the younger boy’s warm chest, and he could hear his boyfriend’s gentle relaxed heartbeat. He was on the verge of sleep, and Dan’s fingers carding lightly through his soft black hair was only speeding up the process.

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I had a nightmare the other day that I was back on Bragg and I was going through an old building I used to hang out in but it had been turned into some top secret thing without any screening of visitors, and some dude who looked like Flynn confiscated my laptop and phones and said I was detained until they could go through everything and decide if I was a threat or not and then they found my personal and political twitters and decided I was but then I woke up lol


This is my first Joe Sugg fanfic please tell me if you like it and if you want I can put up chapter 2 for you. :)

*1121 words

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing next to me on the coffee table. I guess I fell asleep while watching the T.V. I looked around the room trying to get my bearings right and looked on the coffee table for my phone. I finally found it on the fourth ring; I accepted the call without looking at who the caller was, I then put the phone to my ear and stated the traditional conversation starter.


“Floppy, hey”, my best friend Caspar Lee announced a little too enthusiastically. Caspar is a YouTuber who lives in London with another YouTuber called ThatcherJoe but his real name is Joseph and I’ve only ever met at least twice so we didn’t know that much about each other since we never had any time to talk while I was in the jaspar household because a certain Mr. Lee took possession of me. Another thing is that Caspar called me Floppy because of my known ability of always tripping over the most random things, even thin air.

“What do you want Caspar?” I stated groggily.

“I just wanted to give you a call and see how you’re doing, because we don’t see each other that often with you living in California and me living in London with the weirdest roommate ever.”

“Well that was a lot of information for me to understand. One, because I just woke up, and two, you talk so fast and I don’t know how you have all this energy” I questioned him.

“I’m sorry Floppy, I had no idea how tired you were” Caspar stated in a lower voice.

“That’s ok Casp, so what do you really want to talk about because you never call me to see how I’m doing you always text”

“What so now I can’t even call my best friend?” he asked, slightly raising his voice.

Through the phone I could hear another voice “Would you lower your voice Caspar I’m trying to vlog here and I can’t get a simple word out without you shouting through your phone!”

“Was that Joe?” I asked.

“Yeah, he hasn’t been that nice to me for the past few weeks now, he’s always yelling at me and I don’t like living here.” Caspar answered in a sad tone “Can I come stay with you?” I was a bit taken back with this question.

“ Okay first off I live in California and you live in London so it’s not like you can pack your things and drive for five minutes till you get to my house, so that would be a no.”

“Awwww please Floppy I hate it here with Joe always complaining and yelling at me for something” Caspar pleaded.

“Caspar, I’m guessing this is why you called me, but I’m sorry no. It seems that Joe Has a lot going on in his life let him do his things and you do your own.” I tried reasoning with him.

“Floppy please, I’m begging you let me stay with you I have the money to fly over to California please!” he pleaded again.

“Ok you now you make me ruin my surprise.”

“What surprise?” Caspar asked.

“I bought I ticket to London so I could see you for your Birthday I was going to give you a surprise but now you ruined it” I wined.

“Really, you’re going to come here for my birthday? Aww I love you Floppy. When are you coming my birthday is two weeks away” he asked rising he voice with excitement.

“I’m coming next week Tuesday and staying over there for a month so I can catch up with everyone. Zoe and I haven’t seen each other for almost a year and we need to catch up in person.” Zoe and I had only known each other for about 3 years but it seemed like a lifetime to us.

“I’m so excited! I can’t wait to see you in person again and for my birthday of all things!” he shouted so loud I had to hold my phone away from my ear. Who knew that someone would get so excited about finally being able to see their friend after half a year?

Joe could be heard through the phone again this time even more pissed off. “CASPAR WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU YELLING ALL THE TIME. IF YOU WANT TO YELL GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO PESTER JUST SHUT THE F**k UP!!” I was amazed at the language coming from my best friend’s roommate and my other best friend’s brother.

“Caspar, are you ok? I heard Joe over the phone –“I was cut off by Caspar.

“I’m fine just… hurry up and get here as soon as you can please I need you” a sad voice answered.

“I’ll try Casp” I stated sadly.

“Bye Floppy I guess I’ll see you soon then”

“Yeah. Bye Casp, I love you”

“Love you too” Caspar replied and the phone went silent. I turned it off and got up to get myself a coffee. All I could think of was Caspar and how he must’ve felt. I had been talking to Zoe the other day on Skype and she told me that her brother, Joe was in a difficult patch and he needed time to sort out his personal life and other things that he has been working on for work purposes. She told me that he had a lot going on in his life at the moment and he wasn’t the most pleasant to be around.

After my coffee was made and placed on the coffee table I found my phone on the couch and checked the time, it read 5:47AM. I guess sleep is out of the question now after that phone call, I thought to myself. I walked over to my DVD selection and chose my favourite pick me up movie ‘Pitch Perfect’. I placed into the DVD player and turned the T.V on to watch it. I reached over to the other side of my coffee table to collect my laptop and opened it, I went to Google and looked for a better date to get to London checking on every airfares site I could find, I found one that took off in two days’ time and still had seats, I cancelled my flight to London one week away and thought to myself that I would be staying in London for a month and a half instead.

I closed my Laptop after finding out that everything was ready for my flight to London in two days’ time. I settled into my couch and focused on the movie that was playing drinking my coffee.

Fan Fiction

Request: Reader finds sexy fan fiction about her and Sam based off of Carver Edlund’s books. It’s hard to be around Sam after that, especially since he’s read it, too… Hope you enjoy it, anon!

Word Count: 1532

Warning: Mild/Implied smut

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anonymous asked:

Can I ask about the time your roomates found the show and made it into a drinking game?

Honestly that’s not much of a story, but sure: 

Once upon a time I was in this indie TV show, and it was a lot of fun, but because I had never done any film work before, it’s like mortally embarrassing. My internal monologue whenever it crops up is just like Who the fuck cut your bangs like that what is this weird glottal fry why are you talking way the fuck down at the bottom of your register why are you blinking so goddamn much is that really what your nose looks like from the side @ past self get your shit together Jesus Christ. So, needless to say, this is not something I really ever tell people about. Somehow or other though, my Scottish flatmates found out about it, and went on an internet hunt to find it (unbeknownst to me). One day I come home from the library and I’m already exhausted and ready to just like kick back and have a beer and I walk into the kitchen and all five of them are sitting around a laptop and I say, “What are you watching?” And they all look up at me wearing five totally identical shit-eating grins and nobody says a word and in the dead silence I hear my own flat untrained film voice going, “I’m going back to my table, jackass.” And I was just like, “No. Oh God no.” And one of those goes, “We’re taking a sip every time you come onscreen, doing a shot every time you say something bitchy, and downing our drinks next time you trip on camera.” 

And that is the story of the time my Scottish flatmates made my short-lived film career into a drinking game.