i found this in my drafts

neil agreeing to go on celebrity mean tweets once he goes pro and he’s reading some out and it’s shit like this:

“i have started a go-fund me to fly neil josten to antarctica and leave him there. still need five more dollars.”

”neil josten is one of the world’s most useless creations since the sloth”

“neil josten has such a big mouth on him i could replace my goalie racquet with him and no one would notice”

“@.neiljos10 what is red and blue all over and can’t score?”

and neil’s like haha so fu- oh shit are these all from andrew’s account??

I’m clearing out my Google Docs and I just found a finished draft for a fic in the service dog verse that is roughly 10,000 words long. I’m guessing I wrote it quite early on in the verse, because it kind of fits in to it canonically but also kind of doesn’t???

It’s about Oliver’s re-adjustment period when arriving back in Starling with Hunter by his side, featuring his sleeping, eating and paranoia issues.

Should I polish it up and post it, or not?

Tears in my eyes. I found this file uploaded in my drafts. This is part of a portraiture series for that original thing that I’m working on, Legacy. Not sure if anyone’s familiar with it but I posted a few things about it before. Cameron Monaghan obv is my fc choice. Legacy basically revolves around time travel and alternate realities hence these three identical unique characters. *nervous laughter*

writing a kiss, tips for everybody

  1. whatever the hell you’re doing with tongue, stop
  2. invade, fight for dominance, and wrestle are literally the worst descriptors ever in the whole entire world of talking about kissing
  3. tongues do not roam and they do not go exploring they are like TIDES they come forward a little bit and then maybe recede a little bit EVEN IN FRENCHING
  4. most kissing action actually happens with the lips GO FIGURE??
  5. kissing is really awkward you get noses bumping everywhere and sometimes saliva all over your chin or theirs, please keep this in mind, only the chastest kisses are clean and neat
  6. really aggressive tongue is really an acquired taste not gonna lie (L O L)
  7. Avoid scientific clinical words like probe for the love of god
  8. if you’ve ever listened to a kiss you know it sounds really gross with all the sucking and smacking breathy moans and hums are the way to go
  9. No one pays enough attention to the lips imho y'all are so damn focused on tongues

Okay I know we always go on about Marvel’s uncanny casting ability. 

But if you thought they were the only ones, let me draw your attention to this man:

Viggo Mortensen, aka Aragorn son of Arathorn, aka Sexiest Ranger in Middle Earth

  • would hike, often for more than a day, to remote filming locations, in costume, for the sake of authenticity
  • was the best swordsman Bob Anderson (swordsmaster/instructor for LotR, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc) says he has ever trained
  • occasionally writes poetry (more book!canon than film!canon but um hello)
  • does all his own stunts
  • lived all over and speaks about 23940209384 languages
  • you know that scene at the end of Fellowship when he’s fighting the Uruk-hai? And one throws a dagger at him and he hits it away with his sword? Yeah, the guy who threw it was supposed to miss, but accidentally threw it directly at Viggo. Who just casually Aragorned and hit it away. 

They actually cast Aragorn to play Aragorn

a little bit about Kevin Day who is also A Massive Loser:

  • feels the need to remind everyone that he’s left-handed 
    • brings out statistics about the pros of being a lefty
    • annoys the shit out of everyone when he constantly complains about hard it is to be left-handed
  • can get ready in the mornings in under 5 minutes to maximize sleeping in time
    • it’d be under 3 if he didn’t brush his teeth
  • holds secret funerals every time his racquet breaks
  • had the weirdest muscle gain/loss after Riko broke his hand
    • lost a ton of muscle on his left side and got built on his right because that’s the one he focused on training the most
  • likes to stand extra tall and look down on Neil when they’re arguing
  • wouldn’t have to eat quite so healthy if he wasn’t on track to giving himself alcohol poisoning
  • once tried to take revenge on Andrew by hiding his chocolate syrup in a higher cupboard
    • so. much. regret.
  • is super judgy about dollar store Exy racquets
    • tests the strings and handle quality as if it’s comparable to his own racquets and looks at them like they’re a disappointment anyways
    • honestly cried that one time Nicky switched out his racquets as a prank
    • (the Foxes couldn’t stop laughing)
    • (Wymack is not paid enough for this)
  • tries to convince Renee to donate to sports-initiative charities
  • went straight from yelling at a Fox to encouraging a six-year-old girl to follow her dreams and make Court
  • once called Abby “mom”
    • the kindest thing Abby could to was pretend she didn’t hear
    • but also sometimes Kevin would wonder what if
  • calls out misogynistic bullshit lightning quick
  • once watched the wrong History Channel while drunk and believed every single word
    • he won’t admit it to the other Foxes, but Kevin definitely thinks aliens built the Great Pyramids
  • does not have the keys for Andrew and Neil’s apartment but keeps banging on the door and leaving voicemails until they finally open the door only to find him carrying bags of fresh vegetables
    • tells them he should be charging their team for his time because Kevin is a fucking a s s h o l e
  • gets his first dog from the shelter and the poor guy’s malnourished and has a missing leg but Kevin skips out on practice to help him heal 
    • when the dog’s healthy and happy Kevin brings him to practices and they play a dangerous version of fetch with Exy balls flung around the court but both of them love it
  • goes to see Wymack at least once a month but spends the whole time complaining about his team’s quality
  • leaves Andrew and Neil angry voicemails after their games, no matter the score
    • leaves them angry voicemails after his own games
    • leaves them angry voicemails after Jean or Matt’s games
    • leaves incoherent fanboy screaming voicemails after Jeremy Knox’s games
    • (they won’t admit it, but Andrew and Neil definitely look forward to these as they’re absolutely hilarious)
  • is able to look at his racquet at the beginning of each game and think, I’m better than he ever was
    • is able to prove it to the world