i found pics for a second set

Tips for a happy life: neurodivergent edition

  • set an alarm for a normal time, hit snooze for the next 2 hours as self-loathing intensifies
  • increase heartrate by involving yourself in unnecessary internet drama that doesn’t pertain to you
  • wash down meds with cup of dusty water you found on your dresser
  • read lists with advice you’re currently incapable of implementing in your life
  • listen to one sufjan stevens song on repeat for 4 hours (take your pic, they’re all depressing)
  • “i think i showered last week–should be fine”
  • microwave leftovers, get impatient 30 seconds in and stand in the kitchen shoveling lukewarm, unevenly heated food down your throat
  • use social media and falsely inflated memories of peers from high school and college as ammunition to berate yourself for being so awful
  • think about all the things you could do for self-care, become paralyzed by guilt
  • liveblog your depression on the microblogging platform of your choice, obsess over the validation you do or do not receive and how this reflects your self worth
  • stay up until 4am refreshing your social media even though it’s just you and one other random australian 
  • resolve that tomorrow you’ll stop being such a miserable little shit and get your life together
  • have you tried just, like, not being depressed?

(I was supposed to set an alarm and head to bed but I ended up writing a fic on my phone instead. All these 5x05 pics are killing me, so here have some spoilers-inspired mini fanfic from a big ball of human trash a.k.a. me)

The mansion’s door opened as soon as Emma reached the first stoop. “Emma, I found something!” Regina’s enthusiasm is returned with a lack of interest. “Yeah? What is it?” Emma asked. Regina reveals a dreamcatcher she’s been hiding behind her back and hands it to Emma. For a few seconds, the woman stares blankly at the object and then turns around to leave. “Merlin said we had to remind you of the time you felt the truest of love.” Regina blurted out in an attempt to stop the dark one from leaving. “I just thought maybe… maybe this will remind you of your days with Neal…” A deep silence ensued. Emma turns back to face Regina and steps a little closer, swaying in a playful yet menacing way. “Seriously?” she mocks. “I would rather be dark than remember all of that.” “You don’t get to be selfish! Think about Henry, your parents. They need their Emma back. Just take this, please.” Regina says, desperation obvious in her voice. “Don’t you get it? What Merlin said won’t work. This,” Emma points at herself, “This is me now, just accept that.” Regina’s face is now a mixture of hopelessness, annoyance, and pain but she remained as calm as she can. “There is always a choice, Emma.” The name was uttered like a silent prayer, and the dark one looked Regina right in her eyes and into her soul. Emma’s face fell for a second but then a smirk formed on her lips. With a raised eyebrow, she declared, “And I choose darkness. I choose this.” That was the last straw, Regina couldn’t take any more of it. “This is pointless.” the brunette in red blazer turns her back to the blonde in full black leather. “Just go!” she screams before slamming the door shut.

Emma watched the door close as Regina’s voice echoes inside her head. She looks up and fixes her eyes on Henry’s bedroom window. She takes a deep breath and gently closes her eyes. What she couldn’t admit to Regina is this: When she saw the dreamcatcher she remembers accusing her of killing Archie. She remembers the pain in her eyes. She remembers letting her down. She does have a choice and she stands on what she said. She chooses this. Because the time she felt the truest of love is the very moment she stepped into the darkness. And everytime she gets reminded why she did it, she chooses it even more. Because love is sacrifice and she thinks sacrificing herself for Regina is her own dark twisted happy ending.

On the other side of the door, Regina takes a deep breath and gently closes her eyes. She remembers seeing blonde hair and blue eyes run towards her direction. She remembers a teary “You worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed.” She remembers the clink of the dagger as it dropped on the ground. Her heart ached. That was the moment she felt the truest of love. She opens her eyes and peeks into her door. “I will make you feel a love that’s so much greater than you’ve ever felt before, Emma Swan.” she whispers to herself as she watch the dark one walk off her porch and disappear into thin air.