Shadow [Tom Holland]
A/N I’m really happy with this imagine!! This idea came to me in school when I was daydreaming and I couldn’t stop thinking about it :D Hope you like it!!
Summary: Reader is married to Tom Holland, but she doesn’t feel like she is.
Word Count: 2, 585
Pairings: Tom Holland x reader
Warnings: none? a lil angst
She sat on the corner of the bed, clutching onto the phone for her dear life. Shaky breaths pierced the silence of the room. She prayed hard. Please. A call. A text. Anything. Her heart ached for some form of contact. She needed to know that he was fine. She needed to know that she was not forgotten. She didn’t realise the tears until the tickle on her cheeks seemed to bother her. Deep breaths. You can do this. For Rosie.
The door creaked open. The squeaking reverberating through the now silent room. She shot up, hoping that he would be at the doorway. Instead, she sees her six year old daughter poke her head through the doorway.
“Mummy…” The little girl looks at her mother. Worry was evident in her eyes. “Are you alright?” She ambled towards the adult. Her mothers lips curled up into a smiled as she wiped the tears away. She had to stay strong for her daughter.
“Mummy is fine. Don’t worry Rosie. It’s just a little itchy.” She rubbed her eyes. By then her daughter had found her way onto her lap. With her tiny hands placed firmly onto her mother’s shoulders, she gently blew air into her mothers eyes. After much inspection, she shrugged and pushed the adult backwards.
They giggled when they fell back onto the bed. Her fingers danced on little body, earning giggles and squeals from her daughter. They swung pillows about, danced to music and sang their hearts out. The laughter of the mother and daughter filled the house, something that hasn’t happened in months.
After a good thirty minutes, they were exhausted. Rosie laid down on the bed and huddled among the pillows and blankets. Rosie was ready to sleep. She tucked her daughter in, placed a kiss on her forehead, and watched.
She scrambled to her feet when your phone buzzed. Maybe it was a text from him. She turned the screen on. It was a text from her mother, asking how they were coping. She let out a soft sigh, hoping that Rosie wouldn’t hear the disappointment.
“Do you miss him?” A soft voice spoke. The phone was placed down onto the bedside table. She hopped into bed and made herself comfortable.
“Mummy misses him so much Rosie…” Don’t cry. Don’t feel. Don’t. She inhaled deeply. She wanted to ask if she missed him, but he was rarely home for her to even know much about him. He was overseas for the first three years. He was busy with projects and films. He never had time to come home, and when he did, it was for a maximum of five days. He didn’t get to spend much time with Rosie. She thought that he was a friend of her mother. Rosie didn’t remember much about him, so much so that when he turned up for Christmas three years ago, she asked “Who are you?”. It disheartened him, so he made effort to calling home whenever he could. But after a year, work start to pile up, and she knew that she couldn’t blame him for not having enough time for her and Rosie.
“But it’s okay darling…” She flashed a smiled at her daughter. She wanted this to end. She wanted to forget. She wanted to put this behind her and move on.
“What do you think of moving?”
He groaned when no one answered the door. He rang it for the umpteenth time, hoping that someone would answer. He frowned. She was home most of the time, so he’d expect her to answer the door. He fished for his keys in his bag, and found them after what seemed eternity. He fiddled with the keys. He attempted to push one key into the keyhole, but it didn’t fit. He had forgotten which key was the one for the door, which key was the one for the shed, or the one that was for the mailbox.
He opened the door, expecting to hear the pitter pattering of feet, but instead, he finds himself standing in dead silence. He scans the house. It’s devoid of any signs of life. No more flowers that she loved, no toys strewn on the floor, no blankets piling up on the couch. It seemed as if no one was living in the house anymore.
He furrowed his brows. Where was she? Where was Rosie? He shut the door behind him, and walked around the living room unhurriedly. His hands ran on the couch, recalling every bit of memory he had of this place. There were few, but they came flooding back into his head. He could almost hear her laughter, her cries, her giggling, and their child.
His eyes stopped at the coffee table. A ring, a bracelet and an envelope sat neatly on the table. He quirked a brow. He picked up the ring, the diamond glistened in the now setting sun. It was the same as his wedding ring. The bracelet. The one he gave to his daughter on her fifth birthday. Or the one he sent. He ripped the envelop open to see a letter written in pencil. It was from Rosie.
Hello Daddy. We’re leaving today. Mummy says that she wants to move out. She says that she wants to leave everything behind. I don’t know why. Sometimes, I hear mummy crying at night. I think it’s because she misses you. She is in a lot of pain, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave this house, but I want mummy to be happy. So that’s why I’m going with her. I’m going to miss this house, and I think I’ll miss you. I hope that I can see you soon.
He was shocked. He never thought that she’d be in so much pain to leave. He always saw her as a strong and independent woman. He didn’t understand why she decided to leave. How could she miss me that much that she’s willing to leave?
He thought about the last time he came back. It was nine months ago. He thought about the last time he called home. It had been seven months. He thought about the last time he celebrated her birthday with her. It was four years ago. Reality slapped him hard on the cheek. He realised that he had been such a terrible father and husband.
He picked up his phone and dialed the once familiar number. All that was heard was ringing. He dashed out of the house. He had to find her. He called his mother, his brothers, her mother and even her friends. No one knew that she moved. No one knew where she went. He sighed and thought hard of who she’d tell. Harrison. He dialed Harrison. He was right. Harrison knew where you moved to.
He made his way to her house.
He stopped in his tracks in front of the door. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Embrace her with his warm arms? Dot her face with kisses? Pick her up and twirl her around? His was snapped out of his trance when the door opened. He didn’t recall knocking.
“Come on Rosie! Let’s g-” she stopped when she saw him. She didn’t think that he would find out where she was. She thought that he was going to be out of town for another month. She thought that she would never see him again.
She stared into his eyes, she bit her lip. Emotions stared to flood in as if the floodgates had opened. Her hand flew to her mouth, holding in the sobs that threatened to slip out of her mouth. She attempted to close the door, but he stuck his foot out, preventing it from closing.
“Y/N.” Was all he said.
She flashed a small smile before she tried to shut the door again.
“Why’d you move?” He pushed the door open, allowing him to step into the house. She called out for her daughter again, ignoring the questions that came from him.
“Just answer me. Why did you leave?” He raised his voice a little. He was mad. He wanted an answer. He wanted to know why she had left the house they once shared.
“Do you really not know why?” She asked coldly. He looked at her expectantly, awaiting the truth.
“Do you not realise what has happened? Do you not understand the situation? I don’t feel like I am your wife. I don’t feel like you want me. I don’t feel loved by you anymore. Every day, I wait. I wait for a call or a text. I wait for you to show up at the door. Every day, my hope diminishes. Every day, I tell myself that you’re just too busy for your wife and daughter. I find out what you’re doing or where you are through the media. I read articles. I see Instagram posts. I see tweets. It is as if I’m not your wife Tom. It is as if I’m living hidden in the shadows. It is as if I’m just another fan. I don’t want to live as if I am not married to you. I don’t want to live in that house, holding onto the love that may not even exist anymore.” Her voice went weak. She was now crying. Hot tears flowing out like a running tap. She was letting go of all the pent up emotions from the past year. They were finally out.
“I don’t even know if you love me anymore. Every night I lay awake for hours wondering what you’re doing, who you’re with, and maybe even which woman you might have beside you. It pains me to think that way, but it’s all I can do. I can’t be hopeful that you remember me or you love me because I never hear from you. No calls or texts. What used to be surprises became skype calls. Skype calls became phone calls. Phone calls became texts. And it’s reduced to nothing. I haven’t heard anything from you for the past seven months Tom. Don’t you know how hard it is?” She let out a shaky breath.
“I want to call you everyday but every time I pick up the phone, I remember how you haven’t called in ages. I remember how I haven’t seen you in months. I remember the rumours I hear of you dating other people. It makes me think twice. It makes me think that you’ve moved on, and maybe forgot the woman you married.” Her voice was laced with bitterness and sadness. She was broken. She lacked so much love and care that she had fallen into pieces.
Tom stood in front of her, shocked at what he had heard. He never realised his actions would have had such a great impact on her. He thought that by working and earning money, he would supply you with everything you needed. He never realised that what you needed was him. Only now, after hearing her heart, he realises. He realised how their love was built on more than just the cash and gifts.
She turned away from him. She couldn’t bear to reveal any more of her brokenness. She wiped her tears, even though they seemed like a never ending stream. She felt something wrap around her legs. Her daughter embraced her legs into a hug. She laughed a little.
“Mummy is fine… don’t worry dear.” She said, squatting down so that she was at her daughter’s eye level. Her little hands caressed the crying woman’s cheeks, whispering ‘it’s okay’ over and over into her ear, and rubbed her back.
“Rosie…” He said. He watched in amazement as his daughter cared for her. He watched how she whispered ear, how she wiped away the tears, how she reassuring she was towards her mother. All theses things, he did for Y/N before. But now, he finds his daughter doing what he should be doing for his wife.
He bents down and takes his wife’s hand. She mutters something to her daughter before turning to him, standing up again. The little girl ran into another room, maybe to to give them some space.
“I am so sorry.” He starts. “There is no excuse for what I’ve done. I’ve been a terrible husband. A terrible father. And I know that I should’ve done so much more. I should’ve called. I should’ve made more time for you. I am so sorry. Forgive me love. Forgive me. Give me another chance. I love you. I love you so so much, and I will be here for you from now on. Please Y/N.” He slips the ring into her hand. “Please love. Let me show you how much I love you again.”
She looked at the ring in her palm. She admired the details on the ring. She saw the diamond. It was worth thousands, but their love was worth so much more. So much more than this little ring. She used her finger to outline the ring, touching the cold hard metal. She sighed. How could she let go of the love he gave her? But how could she forgive him for abandoning her? She looked up at him. His brown eyes pleaded with her. They begged for forgiveness. They begged for another chance to prove how much he can love. He took her other hand, his warmth now seemed familiar. She looked at the ring, then at their interlocked hands.
His eyes showed it all. It showed the pain he felt. He could feel what you felt.
“I can’t let go of the love you gave me. I can’t let go of the only man I’ve ever loved. I can’t let go of you Tom. I love you too much that it hurts sometimes. I love you so so much.” She smiled at him. He could see the sparkle in her eyes, the ones he fell in love with every time he looked at her.
He was overjoyed. Excitement coursed through his veins. He picked her up, causing a squeal to escape her lips. She pressed her lips on his, savouring the sweet taste of them. He smiled into the kiss and silently thanking God for blessing him with another chance.
A giggled from behind them made them pull apart. There stood their daughter by the stairway, her smile is as a thankful hymn. She was ecstatic. Her mother was finally happy again. She was no longer in pain because of her dad. And she was elated to have her father back, to finally be with him after so long.
“Let’s go for dinner.” Tom gestured towards the door. He knew that they were heading out for dinner when he arrived. Rosie ran up to him, embracing him with her short arms. He picked his daughter up, and peppered kisses on her face. She giggled.
Y/N had opened the door and was ready to leave. She took his hand and smiled. The warmth she felt in her heart now was indescribable. She felt as if her heart was going to burst.
As she walked on the sidewalk, she thought about her situation. It was dumb for her to run away. It was dumb for her to not try even harder. But it was all alright. It always turns out alright in the end.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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