i forgot i had these pics on my phone

Miss him? I never felt so relieve as when they told me he’d vanished. It was like a miracle.
Not to mention all the money I’ve saved on Espom salts and ace bandages.

I feel guilty, I guess. I mean, if he met with foul play or some terrible accident of some kind…then it’s partly my fault, you see. Because secretly…I wished it.

Goretober Day 1 - Bruises

Pose ref:


anonymous asked:

Drabble: you've been talking to Tom on Instagram through DMs and there's obviously chemistry between the two of you and it's very flirty. The two of you find things that remind each other of the other one and send letters back and forth. He finally gets a little break in his schedule and surprises you.

You were a little known actress who was generating some buzz for your solid featured roles. You had a day off from auditions, so you were scrolling through Instagram when you saw a photo your friend Zendaya posted. You liked it and put heart eyes emojis under it. And kept scrolling.

“Awe, Y/N!” Zendaya squealed as she sat in Tom’s trailer. “Huh?” Tom asked looking up from his phone. “Oh nothing. My friend Y/N, who I haven’t talked to in forever just liked my pic.” She smiled and had an idea, “I’ll give her a call.”

You were surprised that she called you, “Hey Z!”,”Hey boo!”

Before you knew it, you two were on Facetime for about 2 hours. “Oh shoot, I have to go they’re calling us back on set!”

“I forgot you’re doing that new Spidey movie!” You remembered. “Yeah, oh here’s Tom.”

Keep reading

I gave him a flag (“amazing!!”), and he forgot how to draw anchors

My phone died right when he came out so I couldn’t take a pic 😩 I got a hug though and he’s so nice I’m dead

I kinda froze to death being out there all day and I still couldn’t get to the front, but it was all worth it I love them so much 😭

Also @ people who want Grip: it’s happening sometime in the next 45 years if I heard it correctly

Creepypasta #1134: Someone Is Sending Me Weird Text Messages

Length: Long

Someone is sending me weird text messages.

The first one came a few days ago. It was a Thursday night and I was up to my elbows in a cardboard box full of kitchen utensils and baking pans when I heard my phone ‘ping’ from across the room. I ignored it and went back to rummaging through the box.

I had moved into my new apartment a few days earlier and was still living out of boxes. The necessities had been unpacked and set up — my bed, the TV, my kitchen table. Toiletries had been stuffed under the bathroom sink, a dozen black garbage bags full of clothes had been stuffed into my bedroom closet. The rest was hidden in a daunting heap of cardboard boxes I hadn’t bothered to label when I packed them. I only rummaged through the pile when absolutely necessary, like the night before when I realized that I hadn’t brushed my teeth in three days and spent half an hour trying to find my toothbrush.

An hour later, I had abandoned the box of kitchen crap and curled up on the couch to watch TV. I was wearing an oversized orange hoodie that I could pull over my knees like a blanket. It was the wee morning hours and the only shows that were playing were infomercials for blenders and crappy old episodes of CSI. I had just flipped to a televangelist preaching when I heard my phone ‘ping’ again. It was still next to the stove where I had left it charging.

This time I got up and dragged myself across the kitchen. I was teetering on the edge of drunkenness from the $5 bottle of bitter Pinot Grigio I had helped myself to for dinner, pretending it would help me unpack. It just made me feel all warm and floppy and silly, and even less motivated than before.

I picked up my phone and looked at the texts. The first thing I noticed was that both texts were from the same person. The second thing I noticed was that instead of a contact name or phone number, this person was identified simply with the purple devil horn emoji: 😈

Now here’s something you should know about me: I’m not the sort of person that uses emojis. I’m definitely not the sort of person that would save someone as a contact in my phone using an emoji instead of their name.

That’s when I noticed the third thing about these texts: they were picture messages. I have that setting on my iPhone where message content is kept private on my lock screen. So instead of seeing the text or picture, my phone will just say “Text Message” or “Picture Message.”

Sober Me might have been seen red flags pop up at this point, but Drunk Me was excited. It seemed flirtatious and naughty. I quickly tapped in my pass-code and clicked straight into my messages to see what pictures this purple grinning devil had sent me.

Two black rectangles. The pictures were of nothing. I tapped one to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. Pinched the screen to zoom in then out again. Nothing. I opened the second one, same thing. Just black.

Sober Me wouldn’t have responded, but Drunk Me wanted to flirt back. I thought for a second about what to say, then typed: “I think you forgot to turn the flash on.”

Keep reading


I can’t believe I forgot to post these pics of me as Evie with this super sweet Jacob cosplayer! My one hope the whole con was to find a Jacob cosplayer to pose with, and I was so happy when this one spotted me first. They even had a phone case with a Jacob collage, which was one of the best things I’d seen the whole con!


God, I’m still recovering from C2E2! I have been jokingly calling it wicdiv con because of how much wicdiv shaped my con experience. Here’s pictures I had on my phone of my Persephone cosplay but I did a photoshoot and should get those photos soon. if you have any picture of me from the con, I’d love if you sent them my way!

The Morrigan here is @xanthvamp who was super friendly!

But actually I am still physically recovering, those chains were a lot heavier than I realized and they pulled a lot at my neck and shoulders

eatdatpie  asked:

Honestly, Lana is so much more than just nice, like we were about 30 people there and pretty much everyone got something from her. Also, Lana had a hard time understanding my name to sign my lyrics book (have a french name), and I talked real fast, I just thought she was gonna be like "fuck it", but she asked me to write it on my hand, then I asked her for a pic, and I literally forgot how to switch to the facial camera and she just took my phone and said "I'll take care of it" I was such a mess


How was the GENE NYC concert????

Lets start at 10am…we were allowed to get there early to get an early admission ticket and 30 min into standing in line NYPD shows up and asks my group (bc everyone else wasn’t really speaking english and sis looked like she was trying to get in and out of the situation. She just asked why there was a line in front of the building and whatnot. Things got hectic when it came to lining up (language barriors too bc most of the fans were foreign and the venue staff and the ldh staff seemed to not be on the same page at one point…but i digress). (Fast forward to 2pm) I got a t-shirt, sweatshirt and a flag. I was going to get a towel but they sold out. So VIP went in an hour before the show (at 4 pm) to see them and we saw them rehearse “Sun and Moon” and “Evergreen”. The boys just kinda went through the motions, just making sure they had enough space and were in the right spot. They also joked around with each other too. (Mendy and Yuta had a funny moment on stage, as well as Hayato and Mendy lol). The high touch….I forgot to say something to Mendy bc i was beyond nervous but his smile cleared my pores and warmed my heart. I told Ryuto that he was “cute” and he paused for a quick second and thanked me lol. They all were so cute, and yes they look better in person than in pictures. Hayato came for my heart and I tried to resist him…..still trying. The setlist was short but I felt completely satisfied with what I was and experienced. The dancing was flawless, Vocalists hit EVERY NOTE, DJ Alan was impressive (he played Mask Off and I lost my ish), FANTASTICS (minus Taiki) was too great!!!! The performers showcase was one of my favorite parts was the boys dancing to “Se Encendio el Beeper” lmao. One thing that was just a cluster fuck: they threw out money with the members faces on them and the crowd rushed to the front. I almost fell, I dropped the card that I wrote for Mendy (almost cried), and it was really just unsafe in general. What would have been better is if they released it from the ceiling of the venue. Trial and error though. Their song “Sora”, which has been sung by LDH’s Deep, was soooooooooooo beautiful. The harmonies were great and the dance was so smooth.


Evergreen…….I thought i was going to cry but when it started I was just in a state of awe and amazement (I was going to record it but I didnt want to worry if my phone would capture all the members or the dance break, so I didn’t) They sang the english version and i know that song like the back of my hand but i forgot all the lyrics and only sang the chorus. I was mesmerized by them. The dance break was perfection and Ryota and Ryuto great! 

I got some pics but they move so damn fast that most of them are blurry lol. Photographing Gene should be left to the pro’s or at least someone with a steady arm. The clear pictures that I did get had perfect meme-worthy faces lol.

HIRO WAS THERE!!!!!!! I had to hold my composure bc I have a love hate relationship with HIro and I didn’t know at first if it was him but then i saw that middle part and his bun. Project Taro was there as well and they were just watching from upstairs. Elly and Ryuji were in NYC the day before but i didnt see either of them.

Overall…….this was definitely one of the best experiences in my life. I met friends that I’ve only known from behind a computer screen and met new friends while waiting in line (we even got coffee *weeps*). Music literally has the power to bring people from different corners of the world together and I’m so thankful for LDH and Generations. I did not cry during the concert but i did on my way to the airport this morning bc reality had set in.

ps: Ryuto’s vocals made me fall so hard for him. Like him and Mendy are fighting for the #1 spot in my heart lol 

Originally posted by bakashinn

🗽So… the reason I haven’t been posting is because I forgot to bring on vacation the computer with all my photos… yay me right? Anyway here’s a pic of my bedroom wall that I had on my phone. Mediocre I know. I hope on monday I have my photos with me and maybe I am able to take a few during the weekend or so. Btw I hope you are all doing good! Hugs from Porto!🗽

Part 2 DL love story

(Bug POV) it’s been mouths since me and Michael have talked. I was getting worried me and him friendship.

Summer was arriving and the school year was coming to a end. On the last day of school the 11th grades has a party in gym. I wasn’t to exticed about it but I want and try to enjoy myself. Minutes has pass and I get a text from Michael telling me to meet him in the boys locker room.
So I left the gym and went to the locker room. I saw him sitting on the floor charging his phone.

Bug: what u want Michael?

He stand up off the floor and pick me up and put me against the wall and start kissing me

Michael: u miss me

Bug: yea. Why haven’t u call or text me .

Michael: I was busy dealing with oh girl and really didn’t had time to call u or anything.

Bug: *roll his eyes *

Michael: bug don’t act like that

Bug: how u want to act when u have not call or text

Michael: Bug stop acting like that

Bug: whatever Michael

Michael: I wanna be with u bug

Bug: hold up be with me ?

Michael: like relationship wise….. every since we started talking and stuff got feelings towards u

Bug : omg Michael don’t lie now. Are u serious

Michael: yes Bea

       Oh shit my cruch since the 9th grade is now with me. But the only problem is that. I don’t want his girl to find out

Bug: what about yo girl

Michael: fuck her. We don’t have any concerns like we do

Bug *smiles*

Michael: I’m sice going to be yo first right ?

Bug : yes but we gotta be dating for aleast 20 days

Michael: yall right cool.

    The big ring and the school year was finally over. That was  the best day ever. I pass to the 12th grade and got a boyfriend.

20 days out in the relationship and was going strong. We talk all day on the phone we go to each other house her and there. But there only one problem I have. We don’t go out at all. I love to be in a relationship with public affection.

The mouth of June was about to end and I was ready to have sex. I call Michael and told him I was ready. He sounded so excited and I was too.

Later that night he came over. Lucky my mom was at work that night.
We set on the sofa and was watching TV. I was waiting on him to to make his move.

I couldn’t wait any longer I made the first move by getting on top of him and kiss on his neck. While I was kissing on his neck he was grading my ass. I took his shirt off and start licking on his nipples. He pick me up and told let’s go  your room.

When we got into my room he throw me on the bed. He got on top of me and start kissing on my neck. It felt soo damm good then he look my pants over and underwear. I was rock hard. I told him I wanna take it out. His dick was on hard and a brick and look like it’s got bigger. I started to jack it off a little.

Michael: that’s enough. U ready to take this dick

Bug : yes baby but u gotta condom

Michael: yes
He put his dick in my ass

Michael: damm u tight asf

Bug : *moaning *

Michael: can I go faster

Bug: yes baby

He started go fast. I could feel his dick in my stomach.

He told me too get up and lay on my  stomach. So I did and he was fucking the hell out of me

Michael: yea take this dick

Bug : I am baby

Michael: call me daddy

Bug: yess daddy shit feel soo good .

He was pounding the fuck out me. I could he my ass clapping in his dick

Bug : yes daddy I’m about to come

Michele: u bet not cum yet baby

Bug : daddy I can’t hold it

I try my best to hold my cum in but I explode all over my bed. Then he stop fucking me

Michael : come jack this dick off

Bug:  I want u too cum for me daddy

Michael: yea baby keep jacking me off

He tool my cum off the bed a put in his finger and out it in my mouth

Michael: oh shit I’m about to nutt baby ……….. oh shit catch this nutt

I put my on his dick while he was busting. There was soo much cum in my mouth. It’s like he did cum weeks
Bug: wow that’s was soo good

Michael: was it

Bug : yes baby

Michael: let go in the shower soo u call wish that ass off

We took a shower together and end up fucking again .

After we took the shower he left but not before he gave me a kiss. I felt like a kid in the candy store after I got some dick. I was into my room and change sheets. I sleep like a baby last night .

June has ended and it was the beginning of July and Michael hasn’t talk to me since we fucked. 

July was around the corner and grandma was having a cook out.
I invite Michael but he never responded. I felt like a fuck buddy.

I want to my grandma cook and was having run with my cousins. The more we had fun the less I thought of Michael.

I want into my grandma house to get a bottle water. Into I hear someone saying my name. I turn around and it was Nas, Michael best friend,

Nas was tall brown skin just like Michael but more sinker then him and fine as hell

Bug : hey Nas what are u doing here

Nas : yo cousin had invited me

Bug : ok cool

Nas: so how yo summer going

Bug : it’s going great wbu

Nas: good. But I hear some stuff about last school year

Bug : what u hear

Nas: I hear u was sucking dick at the park

Bug : omg who told u

Nas: nobody told me I  just that I hear about it

Bug: * shaking his head *

Nas: so was it truth

Bug : yea but I don’t how people find out about it

Nas : well ( walk slowly to him )

Bug: Nas what u doing

Nas: just clam down bug

Nas started to kiss me and push him off of me

Bug: Nas what the fuck

Nas: I know u and Michael got something going on

Bug : me and Michael are u carzy.  Michael had a girlfriend

Nas: bug I’m dumb y'all got something going on

Bug : yes but why u are u kissing me know I’m going with yo bestfriend

Nas: Michael doesn’t deserve u bug

Bug: what u mean

Nas : he doesn’t care about u he only wanted u soo he can fuck u

Bug : Nas your full of shit

Nas : why u getting mad for

Bug : just leave Nas

Nas: ok bug but here my number call me when u wanna talk .

    Nas leave the kitchen. I was soo fucking piss that Michael told someone about me and him at the park. Later that night i try to call him but he never pic up. Into around 10 the phone ring

Bug: hello

Michael: wassup baby

Bug: don’t baby me. Why the tf u told Nas about me and u at park

Michael: wym I never told Nas anything

Bug: don’t lie to me Michael he can to me a the party and told me

Michael: u had a party

Bug: yea my grandma had a party at her house and u invite u but u never show up. But don’t get off the subject.

Michael: look I forgot about yo party baby and yes I did told Nas about us. U all ways wanted me to show u public attention to u and I told my best friend about it 

Bug : did he told him that u wanted to fuck me and that’s it

Michael: nah I never told him that. Every since we was in the 3rd grade Nas wanted everything I had

Bug: since when Nas became a DL

Michael: idk but yo mom at home

Bug: yes she is why?

Michael : I wanted come  by

Bug : mmmm goodnight Michael

Michael: wait are we still together or nah

Bug: ig

I thought not to give him a second chance but I love him. So I give him. a second chance.

Michael: I love u bug

Bug: I love too

The next morning. I got a good morning text form Michael. Saying that he wanted to  spend the day with me .

We want to the mall and he brought me a lot of stuff. After we go Done shopping we want to a Applebee’s. I was having a great time but only if Michael would have fun too. He was acting paranoid the whole time we was out like someone he knew was going to see us.

Later that night we want back to my house and fuck . One again he fucked me hard asf and it was leaving my ass sore for weeks.

Throw out mid July we keep going to same thing fucking going to his and watch TV and I was tried of it I wanted something exticed.

I want  back home that home and thinking hard about Michael into I get a text saying wassup

Bug : who is this

The person reply back but saying it’s Nas

Bug: Nas ? How did u got my number?

Nas: I was at Michael house and I look through his phone and saw yo number. Bug I can’t wait any longer I wanna be with u

Bug: Nas please don’t do this

Nas : no bug I want u and u know u want  me too

I thought real head about me and Nas being together

Nas: how about I come by tonight and show u how much I wanna be with u.

Bug : ok

Later that night Nas came knocking at my window. I let him in. We started talking. We lay down in the bed and was watching TV and continue talking into he started kiss me. And I love it he kiss better then Michael. He claim on top of me and start licking my neck. After that he take his dick out. It’s wasn’t big as Michael but his was more prettier and uncut. We start fucking and he wasn’t pounding me like Michael. He was making love to me and it felt like heaven. He nuttin inside of me and I could feel his cum dipped out of my ass.

Bug : wow Nas that was amazing

Nas: I bet it was

After that Nas actually stay and cuddle with me.

July has ended and August was coming in. I have two boyfriend that I  love and the bad part is that there are bestfriend.

The next day I ask Michael do he wanna go to the movies with me and he told me that he had to do something for his momma. So I ask Nas and he immediately said yes. So we want to the movies, got our tickets , and find  set. Nas asked me if I wouldn’t mine if I get him some candy. So I want to get my baby some candy. I was waiting in line to someone come pull me out the line. It was Michal.

Michael: what u doing here

Bug: what u mean. Im with a friend

Michael: who

Bug: a friend and the important part is why are u here anit u supposed to be helping yo mommy

Michael: yea I got done with it early

Bug: so who u here with

Next thing I see is Michael girl saying" hi bug “

Michael: aye go find else a sit I gotta handle something right quick.

Michael grab me by the head and take me into the corner

Michael: look bug I’m sorry but my girl wanted to go out before we want back to school

Bug: here we go again with this bs

Michael: it’s not like that baby

        Ask we continue to argue Nas walk around the corner

Nas : everything all right baby

Michael: baby tf nigga why u calling bug baby

Bug: let’s just go to somewhere else

Nas: nah we gotta settle this now 

Michael: nigga u going around fucking with bug now

Nas: nigga please u dont treat him like u supposed to

I couldn’t believe these two boys was fighting over me

Nah: bug who is going to be

Michael: yea Bug who its going to be

I had to think hard about it. Should I be with Michael who don’t show me any. Public attention , keeping me on the size line, abd who sex it’s just endless pounding or should I pick Nas, who had a connection with me, take me out and show his love in public and having the great sex

Michael: we don’t have all day

Nas: yo give time

Bug: I pick…..

The beginning of the school year had started. And I was a senior. I want to my homeroom class and saw my boyfriend Michael. Yes I choose Michael. I choose him because he was my first everything. First love . First kiss and first time having sex. He told me that he would work on making love to me and showing public attention. But I’m still kinda sad that I ruined Nas and Michael friendship, but it is what it is. Nas don’t talk to me any more kinda sad that it had to end like this.

dumb things I have done that u can imagine ur OTP doing:

(minus the crippling embarrassment and shame that I felt at the time) 

1. ran into a pole with a carton of milk, spilling it all over myself and my crush

2. laughed so hard that I fell off my crush’s bed and got a concussion

3. was playing guitar, showing off a new song that I wrote for my gf, dramatically paused for a bit in the bridge and accidentally let loose a huge fart

4. I tried to compliment this girl whose number I had just gotten by texting “your art is badass” but I accidentally sent “your ass is badass”

5. a mutual friends sent me a snapchat photo of my crush so I made it my lockscreen pic. forgot all about it until a week later when I handed her my phone so she could give me her number………

6. in middle school a boy liked me a lot so he sketched pictures of me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I was always looking and it made me secretly really happy but I never said anything bc I was too shy. WHY WERE WE BOTH SO SHY

7. in my junior year of high school I let my crush cut my hair. and she royally fucked it up 

8.  she also once wrote “P.S. I love you” at the bottom of a note she passed to me in anatomy class. I cut that piece off the note and folded it up and put it in a locket. it’s in a time capsule buried in my backyard now

9. I hated the music my bf liked so I always pretended the aux cord in my car was broken so we could only listen to my cds 

10. I was at this music festival with this girl I liked but we were at the back and I couldn’t see, so she hoisted me up on her shoulders. but then I lost my balance and ended up toppling over and we both got covered in mud

Today, I fucked up... by trying to show my gf's dad a picture of our new kitten

So today I was visiting with my girlfriend’s parents, her Mom was out and my gf was taking a shower. Her Dad REALLY loves cats, and we just got this new kitten… So I wanted to show him some photos that I took of our new cat on my iPhone. Now here is where the fuck up happened. My gf likes it when I take naughty pictures of her and the other night I took several sexy photos- unfortunately I forgot about them because as I was scrolling through the pics of my adorable little kitty, I landed on one with my dick down her throat & she had this little devious smile on her face. I quickly pulled my phone away and her Dad and I just kind sat in what felt like hours of awkward silence, waiting for her to get done with her shower so we could get the fuck out of there.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to say anything to her about it and make things even worse, but her Father couldn’t even look at me in the eye anymore, and I feel awful. Things are going to be eternally weird from now on I feel like.

TLDR; be careful when showing pictures of cats. you might accidentally show someone a picture of your girlfriend going ham on your cock.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

BRB: dying alone with cats

The summer following my sophomore year of college, I had roommate who turned into my lover, who later that term became a vicious, wounded, pathologically lying adversary, but would ultimately become a dear friend and psychic consultant. He found humor in the most morbid and tragic circumstances. Years later, my ex in Baltimore, who found things morbid and tragic dismal and doleful, would call him “the psychic sissy.”   I pride myself on being empathetic with most people and in most situations, but sometimes it’s just too much to bear and I can do a 180 and laugh inappropriately, recalling the acerbic coping skills of my psychic sometime-suitor.  There’s also something tragically laughable about having a pathological liar as a psychic consultant.

At 46, I have a background of broken relationships that never made it to the twelve-month marker. I had my first orgasm at age 13 by a 54 year old latter-day Fulbright Scholar who was supposed to be giving me organ and harpsichord lessons at his workshop outside Boston.  This was made possible due to my mother’s schizophrenia taking center stage of most of my childhood and my father’s preference for her as his favorite child. Such was my childhood, growing up in rural Maryland with the white-flight diaspora of blue-collar Baltimore.  

I had a couple of high school crushes on other young organists that I felt most deeply but due to distance and cultural backgrounds (more observant but equally dysfunctional parents) never solidified. And then there was the psychic sissy. And then there were a couple thousand other one-hit-wonders, met in tea rooms and various and sundry places. But then, Memorial Day Weekend 1996, came *cue lights and music* my LTR with the internet.

I bought a Commodore 486 and I’ll never forget my first time logging into AOL- it were as though I had a portal to inter-dimensional travel. Shortly thereafter, I stumbled on BigBellyM4M, which led to meeting a fellow Baltimore belly hound who introduced me to Belly Builders and thus became my “maker.”  It was there I found my source and summit of my sexual engine: the gainer and encourager community.  So began my love-loathe relationship with gaining and losing and self-acceptance.

To the best of my recollection, my first erections were over bellies: the enormous old barber who maligned my towhead locks with a botched whiffle cut in an era of unisex haircuts, and the wildly adorable chubby fourth grade clarinet-playing classmate whose perfectly spherical belly resembled a lower-case cursive “s”. Following my Fulbright experiences, my desires were trained on more conventional gay attractions: slender twinks with incredibly long penises that were enshrined in gay porn of the 1980’s. I don’t think anyone in our community can forget the first time they saw SFGutMuscle’s progress pics. It’s one of those coming home moments that stays with you for the rest of your life.

Later in my time in Baltimore I had two short-lived relationships with two men named David, both of whom had bellies, played the organ, and were older than I (one 18 years or so and the other only 7 years my senior).  David No. 2 saw in me the potential to forego my shame and flaunt my belly online, so when I moved from Baltimore to Atlanta in 2000, that’s just what I did. I had my first Bearadox69 profile on Bear411, which eventually translated into my Gainrweb and Grommr profiles.  

I met Manuel the summer of 2000, when I was applying for a job in Miami, again, off BigBellyM4M on AOL. He had the most magnificent cock- he needed two hands to jack off, and I was smitten. He neglected to tell me he had HIV, knowledge I needed to request in order to obtain, but so full of cock-lust was I, that I was more than forgiving of him.  And I did love him (enough to not give out his real name here).  And maybe he had a point- you should assume that everyone is positive unless you ask otherwise.  Neither this particular omission nor any of his previous or subsequent emissions would have any negative impact on my health, thanks be to God.

He remained one of the hottest hook-ups of my life and I revisited him there a few times while I worked in Atlanta. This transitioned into a short-term long-distance relationship in the spring of 2003 which culminated in my move to Miami that August, just before Hurricane Isabel hit land. Did I mention my mother’s name was Isabelle?  Manuel and I lasted through the following March. Indignant at having to sit through yet another classical choral concert I accompanied, he broke the sun visor off the passenger’s side of my 2002 Chrysler Sebring Limited Convertible.  We really did have a lot in common, but not enough to making our relationship work. I can credit him for being, among other things, the inspiration for me crossing into the 300′s, where I’ve stayed through most of my 30′s and 40′s.

Brokenhearted, I found plenty of men to play with but no-one to love and be loved in returned. I was hired for a position in South Carolina that warrants an entire book of stories all its own, a parallel version of Savannah’s Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. That will likely commence in the next six months. I bought home which shared with a big 6′6″ Italian lummox who loved to cook for me, got my first laptop with a webcam and suddenly Skype was my tearoom.  And I crossed over into the mid 300′s.   

Still loveless (in the sense that I wasn’t anybody’s boyfriend nor they mine), fast-forward to September 2013 and I discovered a random Grommr profile for a chaser-encourager in Memphis with eyes that could light up a city and such a countenance that would make the archangels blush. I had to let him know how stunning he was. We had a rapid dialogue, exchanged phone numbers and Facebook profiles, and promptly forgot about each other. Or maybe we skyped and I couldn’t handle his intensity. Anyhow, I put him out of my mind (and probably blocked him on Skype) with the other men who expressed their attraction for me and whom, for whatever reasons, I simply couldn’t handle. Sometimes, nothing makes a man turn and run like expressing your admiration.

Also that fall, I received a Grommr message from a faceless profile in Edmonton, just as innocent as you please. He had seen some of my pics on Tumblr and traced them back to Grommr. He wooed me hard and in January 2014, just before I crested 400 lbs for the first time, he asked to be my valentine. That was it. I was on his hook and I had, at 44 and jaded by thousands of sexual liaisons, a Canadian virgin for my first boyfriend in 10 years, his first ever in his 19 years.

I have to hand it to Mike’s parents- they were incredibly accepting of their gay sons (identical twins).  Mike was the slightly stockier of the two: about 6’ tall with broad shoulders, smooth milky skin, dense-and-wild dirty blond hair and a big, angry uncut cock. Mike came to see me just after Easter in 2014 and then I returned the favor and went to Edmonton that June and even stayed in his home with his brother and parents. I loved him deeply, about as much as I could have loved anybody then, enough to realize how incredibly pointless our relationship was for the long haul and how much he needed to be the one to break up with me.

When he and his brother came to see me that August, I drove them to Myrtle Beach where they spent a week with online gaming friends. We then met partway so Mike and his brother could come back to my home, where his brother flew home early. The day before my birthday, Mike got on my laptop and found that I had been sharing pics with online admirers. To say Mike was the jealous type didn’t nearly assess the extent of his umbrage. He waited until the day after my birthday to break up with me, but we still had a full week together before he flew back to Edmonton.

I figured that it would be good for both of us to make the best of an awkward situation that last week.  We slept together and jacked off and fucked, but he wasn’t much on kissing after that.  He was incredibly athletic- he could do a full backflip from a standing position – and he was also an adroit swimmer.  We would swim in the pool and he would try to carry me on his back. He also was incredibly horny – constantly, since I was his first and only and he was getting his meal ticket stamped as often as he could.

The days and weeks after Mike’s final visit and in the denouement of our fated relationship brought on the deepest depression I’ve ever known.  I sought counseling and went on Wellbutrin, which proved disastrous at work.  Who should surface on Facebook, but Mr. Memphis Chaser-Encourager, who’d moved to Los Angeles with his brother 28 February 2014.  Chris could not have been a more compassionate friend, and sat through endless hours of me reliving my relationship with Mike and its lachrymal cadence. He was also in the throws of negotiating the termination of his first long-term relationship, oddly enough, with a gainer whom I found wildly attractive.  

In the sullied and rumpled world of relationships, there are rarely clean breaks. But Chris came to see me 3 November 2014 after visiting Memphis on a Fall break. He warrants a story all his own that would be told without the veil of pseudonym for the widest audience possible. You can get the unfiltered prologue here. What followed our first “date week” together is, and will be, the reason I’ll not die alone with cats.   






Tagged by @otomelin! Sorry it took me so long, Lin, I had it in drafts yesterday and I forgot T_T

My lockscreen is that one edit that was around some time ago, of Nobuyuki Bunny Version because I may or may not be in Nobuyuki mood. My 7th pic is the one my mom took when we went bowling on saturday! Awful picture lmao. And my favorite picture (that I have on my phone right now) is Akira! Because good god does he look good in that picture.

I don’t really have much pictures in my phone right now because I got a new one on saturday after my old one died. So, yeah.

Tagging @a-night-on-polaris @kanarenee @sugoileo @manju-girl, remember you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!


@irishthanhy tagged me in this a few weeks ago and I forgot to do it. Better late than never, right? I change my wallpapers and phone themes every other day so it’s rarely the same thing.

My lock screen is a lonely, lonely whale…in space…a…whalien, if you will.

My home screen is Jeon Jungkook, of course. BS&T era was my favorite so I had to use a pic of him from then. And yes, I do move my apps out of the way so I’m not blocking his face.

Last song I listened to was “Blue” by Bbolbalgan4. I update my “What I’m Listening to Right Now” on Spotify every two weeks or so and right now I’m listening to a lot of bbolbalgan4. Highly recommended.

Thank goodness for SNOW filters that make you look like you’re decent at doing makeup. Taehyung got me into wearing berets again, they’re really cute.

I’d like to see @cherry-blossom-chanyeol @ilovejin-youlovejin-jinlovesjin @suju-bangtan @evilpjm @halefisha . Do it if you’d like!