This might be the worlds worst request but if you could do a recap post about the Brooklyn nine-nine panel that would be so appreciated!
sorry i just now got around to answering this fsdkkfs also this might be the worlds worst answer but i will try to remember as much detail as i can!! basically everything they said was just really joke-y to the point of silliness and there was no definitive answer to any of the questions really, so here are just some random things i remember:
Purgatory Con 2015, Dusseldorf and my Meet and Greet with Misha Collins
On the 5th of June, the
convention officially started. And even though nothing really happened except
for the registration and a little party with Misha Collins, called “Cocktails
with Castiel” for which I sadly hadn’t been able to afford tickets, I already
was super excited.
However, a friend of mine I met on
Tumblr before the Con introduced me to another friend who was going to the con,
too, and had indeed bought tickets for the Cocktails with Castiel event.
According to her it was fun, even though Misha didn’t have much time for
I for my part basically waited in front
of the room most of the time, because I didn’t have anything else to do without
my friend and because I wanted to catch a glimpse on Misha, just one. Yeah, I
know how that sounds. But I just couldn’t believe I actually was in one
building with the man I usually only see on TV and who changed my life so much.
Hell, it was even hard to believe that he was a real living, breathing human
being and not some invention of the government to make the people keep their
faith in humanity.
Unfortunately, I didn’t see Misha that
day, but it was a more than awesome experience anyway as I met the SPN family
for the first time. As nobody in my close surroundings watches Supernatural, I
was completely overwhelmed by all the kindness, happiness and tolerance towards
me and everyone else. It was a very strange, incredible feeling of belonging
I’ve never felt before and gosh, I just really love this fandom.
On Saturday, 6th of June,
shit was about to go down. The opening panel started my day with a lot of adrenaline. I can’t really
describe the feeling of excitement, fear and happiness that entered me as the
host announced Travis Aaron Wade, Kim Rhodes, Mark Pellegrino, Osric Chau and
Misha Collins who came on stage one after the other with “Carry on my wayward
son” playing in the background, the crowd cheering madly.
Seeing my idols for the first time live
and in the flesh had something terrifyingly thrilling and upsetting about
The opening panel was shorter than I
thought, but so much fun. The actors were taught some German curse words and it
was just really entertaining listening to Kim screaming “Verfickte Scheiße”
(fucking shit) on top of her lungs with a grandiose passion.
Then, the Photo Ops started. I didn’t
have tickets for those, either, but I occasionally saw Mark or Osric walking
around in the hotel and even though I was too nervous to produce anything more
than a shy smile I was super happy.
At about 12 o’clock, Kim’s panel started
and everybody who’s ever laid eye on this amazing woman will know that it was
not only extremely funny and diverting but also so very heartwarming.
Osric’s panel followed shortly
afterwards and was just as awesome.
When Travis panel started, I was a
little unsure of what to think about him as I hadn’t really heard of him before
because in Germany, seasons 9 and 10 aren’t available yet. But he’d won my
heart after the first 5 minutes of his panel because he’s just such an
unbelievably funny, smart and deep person and I really love him a lot.
Well, and after Travis’s panel I had…
MY MEET AND GREET WITH MISHA COLLINS
I had been a total wreck all day but
that was nothing compared to my mental state ten minutes before the M&G
started. My knees seemed to be made of jelly and I occasionally forgot how to
breathe. God, I was so nervous.
When the door was opened and our little
group of 18 or more people walked in, my first instinct was to grab my heels
and run the fuck away. Which, of course, I didn’t. Instead I clung to my friend
and followed the others into the small room with a round table in it.
And there he sat, tan as he is, looking
at us with these ridiculously blue eyes of his, smiling. The sight of him,
actually sitting in front of me, caused a feeling free fall in me. That sounds
so weird but I can’t really describe it otherwise.
There were not enough chairs for all of
us and I didn’t dare to just sit down, so in the end I was still standing
around awkwardly. When I finally had a chair and ended up sitting right across
from Misha, I was not in the least less nervous. To the very contrary, I was
shaking like a leaf in a tornado. I might add at this point that I suffer from
social anxiety which is not exactly helpful when you’re in a room full of
people you’ve never met before and Misha Collins.
However, I soon realized that Misha
actually IS the nicest and politest man to ever walk this green earth, so I had
basically no reason at all to be anxious. But unfortunately that only increased
my nervousness as I feared that this perfect man who I’ve admired for years and
years wouldn’t like me.
Misha started the M&G by asking how
everyone was doing and if there were any questions. Indeed, there were.
I myself had a little question but I
didn’t dare ask it for the first twenty minutes. But then I kind of kicked my
own ass because after all I had come here to talk to Misha and not just for
staring at him mortified.
So I pulled myself together and raised
my hand as he asked again if there were more question. The first thing that
came out of my mouth was the information that I suffered from a little anxiety
and might start crying midsentence, which is not exactly the smartest way to
start a conversation. However, nobody made fun of me or picked on me and Misha
nodded in a kind of understanding way, so I kept going. My question was if
Misha had ever googled himself because when I heard his name for the first time
and searched for him on the internet, the first search result that showed up
was YouTube – “Fake orgasm from Misha Collins”. I don’t know what went wrong
back then; it never happened again and it didn’t happen when Misha checked it
during the Meet and Greet, either, so I’ll just assume that the Lord was
Misha then gently poked fun at me and it
was perfectly fine with me. Of course Misha wouldn’t make me entirely
uncomfortable; he found my line and river danced on it. And god, I loved it, as
weird as it sounds.
A few other questions were asked
afterwards and when the M&G was almost over, I gave Misha the present I had
As I’m a very big fan of “Cooking fast
& fresh with West” I thought this might be a nice thing for Misha and he
actually seemed to like it. At least I hope so.
Then our 30 minutes were officially over
and everybody said goodbye and left the room. But I couldn’t, not yet. Because
the main reason I came to the con and spent so much money my family actually needs
for other things was because I needed, I had to tell Misha how grateful I am
for his existence.
There were some very dark times in my
life and I’m not exaggerating when I say that I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t
for Misha frigging Collins. So that’s what I wanted to tell him and even though
he was under absolutely no obligation to do so, he listened very seriously.
I still was super nervous and I also got
a little emotional as those memories are not exactly the most pleasant ones –
my chest tightened, I was fighting back tears, my heart was galloping like a
fucking herd of gnus, my voice was quiet and shaky and I didn’t really remember
how to English. It’s astonishing that Misha understood a word at all.
But apparently, he did. He pulled me
into a very tight hug, I started sobbing into his shoulder (I’m such a baby
please let me throw myself into the sun to burn to crisp) and God, I’ve never
ever felt as save and loved as I did in Misha Collins’s arms. That sounds so
ridiculous and cheesy, I know. But I don’t really care how it sounds because it
was the best feeling I’ve had in a long, long time.
And holly golly fucking gosh, he smells
so awesome. Kinda like watermelon and mint.
Unfortunately, I was sort of
hyperventilating and not getting enough air. My knees went even shakier than
they already were and I tried to support myself on the wall, but then… well,
then I passed out.
I really fucking passed out and when I
came to my senses again, I was lying on the floor, basically clinging to
Misha’s pants. Also, I was the most embarrassed person in the entire world.
Misha, two friends of mine and a man of
the organization team were kneeling next to me and looked slightly concerned.
I started apologizing over and over
again, even though Misha and my friends assured me that it was okay. Which, in
my opinion, it was not. I had just done the most embarrassing thing in the
history of ever and holy cow, I will probably never forgive myself for this.
Anyway, Misha asked if I wanted to drink
something and gave me his own glass of water and gently touched my shoulder and
talked to me to keep me awake. Misha was so nice, gentle and sweet it’s unreal.
He asked if I would be at the next con,
which I sadly had to negate. This con had already consumed all of my pocket
money, my birthday presents for the next 15 years and my Christmas presents for
the next 4 years.
Misha looked a little disappointed or
maybe I was just imagining it, but he said we would figure something out to get
me to the next con. I stared at him for three minutes straight and couldn’t say
a damn word, neither in English nor in German.
When I finally realized the actual state
of affairs, I somehow articulated an answer in English with some German words thrown
in. My brain was still pretty smashed and sadly I don’t remember what I said.
After a few minutes Misha had to go and
he thanked me for being at the con. HE thanked ME. I hurried to thank him as
well, less enthusiastically than I initially planned because I was still really
shaky, and apologized again. Misha gave my shoulder one last squeeze and off he
As I finally had gathered enough will
power to get up and walk out of the room, Osric entered because he had the next
Meet and Greet in here. He hugged us as well and asked how we were and I could only
manage a vague movement with my hand to describe my feelings.
But Osric is such a nice and amazing
person and I really love him a lot, so I soon got comfortable around him. I
taught him a word of farewell we use in the region of Germany I live in
sometimes, “Tschö” as he had learned the pronunciation of ä, ö, and ü during
Then my friends and I left the room and I
saw Misha again in the hallway and I couldn’t help staring at him. I know it’s
completely impolite and inappropriate and he probably got annoyed, but I just
couldn’t stop. Because I still couldn’t believe how nice he had been to me and
it makes me really, really happy to just look at him, to know that he actually
Even though I totally screwed up and
pretty much ruined our talk, I wasn’t even disappointed because there’s
absolutely no way the presence of Misha Collins could ever not be enjoyable,
even if I’m stupid enough to faint.
What I was sad about was the fact that I
hadn’t been able to tell Misha everything I wanted to before my body and brain
conked out. Like really sad; I almost started crying.
However, one of the most amazing people
I’ve ever had the honor of calling my friend still had an autograph session
with Misha, so I quickly wrote a little letter for him. I don’t know what was
wrong with my brain that day, but the letter was pretty much nonsense as well.
At least I think so; I don’t really remember what I wrote as my brain always
gets too little oxygen when I’m really nervous. That’s so annoying, you have no
idea! Also, it’s pretty sad because I can’t remember everything of what has
been the best day of my life so far.
Anyway, my amazing friend was not only
willing to give Misha my letter, she also SAID SHE WOULD GIFT ME HER AUTOGRAPH.
THE AUTOGRAPH SHE HAD PAID A LOT OF MONEY FOR AND BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO.
I still don’t know how a person can
possibly be this nice and selfless and generous.
However, before the autograph session
there were Mark’s and Misha’s panels.
Mark was such a sweetheart. He asked
every fan who had a question to come on stage, put an arm around them, calmed
them down when they were nervous and hugged them. Every single one.
Misha’s panel followed and of course, it
was awesome. There’s like nothing more I could say about it, it was just really
After Misha’s panel and a little break,
the autograph sessions started. And even though I told her I could never accept
her gift, my friend was still determined to give her autograph to me. Good
lord, I love her so much.
So my friend went into the autograph
room to return about 15 minutes later, an autograph in her hands.
And this is what Misha wrote for me:
You all have no idea of how much this touched
me. God, I could have started crying right there on the spot.
My friend told me she only said to Misha
that this autograph was for the girl she had been with at the M&G, me. And
apparently, Misha remembered who I was and wrote this little sentence for me.
I don’t really know if he was referring
to what I had told him about me or the fact that I had taken part in the
M&G despite my social anxiety, but either way I couldn’t be happier or more
I have absolutely no idea how I deserve
this. I’m a very annoying, very unable, very clingy and very ugly teenager who
just can’t get her shit together and passes out in the middle of a talk she’d
been looking forward to for months. I’m basically a nothing and this man treats
me like a treasure and I can literally not describe how much I love him.
Misha Collins saved my life in so many
ways and I will literally owe him my life forever. But if there’s any person out
there whom I’d like to owe it, it would be Misha.
There’s like an infinite amount of love
in this man’s heart.
And if there would be anything I could
do for Misha, I would do everything to help him. That will not happen, I know,
but if any crossroads demon is reading this right now – you know how to find
Misha Collins will forever be my hero.
In the evening, there was a karaoke/pajama
party and holly golly fucking gosh, it was so fun. Osric, Kim, Mark and Travis
joined us and sang a few songs themselves. Osric wore a costume and cosplayed
as Gabriel in “Hammer of the Gods”.
A few songs I remember were for example “Living
on a prayer” (Bon Jovi), “99 Luftballons” (Nena), “Girls just wanna have fun” (Cyndi
Lauper) and “Shake it Off” (Taylor Swift). We also sang “Highway to Hell” by
AC/DC and I guess you can imagine who sang the loudest.
When Osric sang “When I see you again”
by Wiz Khalifa, Kim cried a little and I just wanted to cuddle her. It totally
broke my heart.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay till the
end of the party because I was way too tired. Too much adrenaline for one day.
Too many emotions.
On Sunday morning I was so sad because
the event was almost over. However, that changed quickly when I saw Osric
sitting with my friends at breakfast. As my family had already left for a
shopping trip in Dusseldorf and I was alone, I asked if I could sit with them.
They said yes, I could, and I still hope it really was okay.
They talked about movies I didn’t know
and cons I hadn’t been to but it was perfectly fine with me. I really love just
listening to amazing people talking and everybody at the table was so fucking
amazing, so I was in complete heaven.
Osric was such a sweetie. Even though I couldn’t
really be part of the conversation, he kept trying to involve me, asked me
questions and looked at me very attentively. He wore Pokémon shoes and had very
messy hair and the brightest smile ever and these are very important facts.
After breakfast, I went to Travis’s
panel and he showed us how to breathe correctly. Well, I wish he had shown me
Following, Osric and Kim had a panel and
it was Kim’s birthday so the audience sang for her. She also got brownies with
peanut butter from a fan and I think she really was a little touched. I very
sincerely hope that we could make up a little for the fact that she couldn’t be
at home on her own birthday.
After Mark’s panel that followed Osric’s
and Kim’s and was just as great as anything else, there was a costume contest.
And holy fridge, there were so many
creative people and beautiful costumes! It was completely wonderful and I had
so much fun just looking at them! Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely love
the SPN fandom?
Sadly, I had to go home after the
costume contest because it was not a too short journey home and I still had
homework to do. But dear lord, I was so incredibly sad. I cried all the way
I’ve met so many amazing people at the
con and most of them I’ll probably never see again in my life. I’ve felt more
accepted than ever before in my life. I fucked up the only chance I had to tell
Misha what he means to me and I want a second chance so badly, just one. I’ve
become addicted to the presence of my favorite people in the whole wide world
I just really want to turn the clock back and I hope so much that a little
miracle happens and I can go to another con because *Cas voice* these make me
In conclusion it was one of the best
events in my entire life, I’ve been happier than I’ve been in a long time, I’ve
met the most amazing people in the world and I’m even more in love with the SPN
fans than I was before.
Also, I’d like to thank two very sweet friends of mine:
kraziiisme Thank you, Tasha, for helping me along
with everything and encouraging me in so many ways. If you had just scrolled
past my post I don’t know what would have gone wrong. Probably everything.
Thank you for taking time for my annoying, clingy ass. I really love you so
sparklygoesweird Thank you, Rea, for being one of the
most amazing friends I have. It wouldn’t have been just half as great without
you and I’m afraid I wouldn’t even have gone to the con if you hadn’t been by
my side. Thank you for having a heart the size of an ocean.