i forgive you because i love you

Baby Blues - Jim Kirk

Prompt: can i request a pregnant reader x kirk? - anonymous. (yes, that’s literally the whole request)

Word count: 2,601 (GODDAMN WHAT THE HELL)

Warnings: language, pregnancy, FLUFF

A/N: so there was not much to go off of for this vague request and at first i was like “WHOO FREE REIGN” but then, after writing drafts for 3 entirely different stories, i realized it was so much harder than i thought. but it was interesting! this is super cute and went off the rails very easily but i sorta like it. i just love jim so much and i added enough bones to hold myself over (because he’s still my fav forever). forgive any typos, pls OK WELL ENJOY AND LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!


Leonard was hunched over his desk when you walked into his office, the door already wide open. His head was in his hands and his eyes focused on the PADD before him. The room smelled strongly of antiseptic. He didn’t look up as he spoke gruffly, “I’m off-duty.”

“Congratulations.”

He brought his eyes to meet yours at the sound of your voice. His scleras were reddened and the adjacent skin was darkened. His hair stuck up on all ends. As always, he was scowling. “What do you want?”

“I want a drink,” you said, pulling out the chair directly across from him. You fell into it and placed your feet atop his desk, ignoring his clicks of irritation. “But seeing as alcohol is prohibited in my current state, I’ll settle for a nice heart-to-heart with a friend.”

Heart-to-heart,” he snorted, rolling his hazel eyes with an especially sarcastic frown. “Why’d you really come, sweetheart?”

“Needed to get away from Jim.”

He nodded once and leaned back in his seat. “There we go. Did you tell him yet?”

“Nope,” you answered, popping the p. “I don’t plan on it, either.”

He cracked a smirk, the crooked smile causing an uneven creasing of his skin. He looked to be more awake now than when you first walked in. “Are you waitin’ for the baby to tell him?”

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“Forgive me for having moments like this. Moments where I’m just here with you, while you’re talking about something I have no idea what it is because I am terribly distracted looking deeply into your eyes and realizing how very much in love with you I am.” -R.G

anonymous asked:

Howdy!! I don't really know if you still accepting requests, but you know, try don't kill anyone hehe. I reeeeeaaaally wanted "D" "K" "T" and "V" for Jaehee, please. Forgive my horrible english, I'm Brasilian. >~< and I luv ya.

You’re fine! I understand you! I love ya too!

[D] Dirty Secret

She has tried once, once, to jerk off to Zen’s character lines in a play before, but she got way too embarrassed because he’s a fellow RFA member and never, ever, tried it again.

[K] Kink

She really, really, likes small breasts. They’re so cute to her, so she does like it if her partner has them, but it’s nothing thats a deal breaker.

[T] Toys (do they own any, do they use them, how often, where)

She has a small vibrator, that she bought online (She is never stepping foot into a sex store her heart would explode). She tries to use it sometimes, but she gets way too embarrassed. When she does try to, she uses it on her clit mainly.

[V] Volume (how loud, what do they sound like, what sounds they make)

She’s always trying to keep quiet, even if it means biting her pillow or clamping her hands over her mouth. Sometimes, just sometimes, you’re able to hit her gspot just right, and a loud, breathy moan escapes her. She immediately clamps a hand over her mouth, and always does, even if you confess how much you love her noises.

Better circumstances was never Jesus’s motivation for hanging on that cross and forgiving our sins. He was not like “hey, I’ll forgive you because I’m outta here anyway. But you’re a bunch a losers.” He couldn’t die because He was love. He willingly gave Himself because He never lost sight of our value, not because He was lonely and looking for friends.

I can’t remember whether or not I love you.
That’s the funny part about it. I remember everything you said to me, everything we did together. Nothing escapes me now; memories of you and I laughing together, me crying on your shoulder, and us smiling at the stars hold tight to my mind. Part of me still daydreams of it. Part of me wants to forget you exist. All of me knows that’s impossible.
Maybe I can’t remember because my body doesn’t want to go through that pain again. The feeling of being ripped away from you sent me into a constant state of self loathing and fear of abandonment. I still don’t forgive you for that much.
I lay here, staring at the sky and all of its lights as though they’ll give me the answer I’m looking for. Nothing will, though. I’ll never get the truth. The question’s been buried too far into my soul, my psyche, my everything.
Now I wonder if you still love me, too.

anonymous asked:

Forgive me if you've been asked this already but at what moment do you think Clarke fell in love with Lexa, or realized she was in love with her? I believe Eliza had trouble answering this at a con (I think she said it was before the bow though) so I'm wondering what you think.

Mmm that’s hard to say, and honestly, that’s kinda what I love about it. Because you can’t always exactly pinpoint the moment you fall in love with someone, right? Maybe it’s a feeling that grows gradually but unstoppable, maybe it’s like a wave hitting you at once, it varies. And that’s how I think it was for Clarke.

The way I see it, it was sudden for her at first and then everything slowed down and it naturally developed. It wasn’t love yet in the beginning, but there was definitely a realization that she had feelings for Lexa. Just look at her face after storming out of Lexa’s tent in 2x14. 

Why else would she looked so bothered? If she had just been upset about their argument she would have had an angry face. Instead she looks like she’s literally trying to physically restrain her feelings, whatever they may be. She takes that deep, shaky breath in an attempt to collect herself because, what the hell just happened inside that tent? Did Lexa really just confess she has feelings for me? And why does it affect me so much? What am I feeling? This is what I think is going through her mind. And then of course we have the confirmation of this, when she gladly replies to Lexa’s kiss. Even after she rejects her, there is no indication of that being a definitive rejection. There is no feeling of “I’m sorry, but I don’t reciprocate.” Clarke is not ready for a relationship, and it’s right that she was honest with Lexa, but she rejects her in literally the softest way possible, AND leaves the door open for the future. Not yet. That means she already sees herself considering a relationship with Lexa in the future, after healing, when she’s finally ready. And look at how tender and somewhat tamely longing her gaze is even after she rejected Lexa.

She is definitely aware of her feelings for Lexa here. But then the betrayal happens and ah, they take 46 steps back.

Now, of course, Lexa’s betrayal causes Clarke to close herself off. Clarke is angry at Lexa, she’s angry at herself, she’s in pain, every other feeling pales in comparison. And obviously, so much of Clarke’s suffering is tied to what Lexa did, so it’s definitely not a surprise that romance is out of the question when they first meet again. Clarke’s pain is consuming her, she is definitely not thinking about whatever she and Lexa had. And yet…

This isn’t a romantic moment by any means. But we’re talking about Clarke realizing she loves Lexa, and I don’t think we can’t gloss over this moment. When I say that I don’t romanticize this scene, it’s because this is not a cute moment. This isn’t a “oh my God, she loves her!” moment, this moment is sad. It’s painful, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s so damn important. Clarke can’t kill Lexa here. How much easier would it be for her to shut her heart out entirely, to blame Lexa for everything and just kill her without feeling anything? I bet in that moment, a part of Clarke wants that. But Clarke feels, and she feels for Lexa. She has these feelings and they won’t go away, not even when she’s at her lowest. So yeah, not a romantic moment, but definitely essential to understand Clarke’s complicated feelings for Lexa.

After the bow, Clarke is a little more trusting towards Lexa, but she’s definitely still closed off, she’s not ready to expose her heart yet. And we get to the “I’m doing it for my people” episode, 3x04. Right from the very beginning, Clarke spends the entire episode trying to find a way to keep Lexa safe, to protect her. But every single time she voices her concerns to Lexa or hell, even Titus, her preoccupation feels far more personal than political. She’s worried, she’s agitated, she even seems angry that Lexa won’t listen to her and step away from the duel. It’s a crescendo of apprehension and frustration and anxiousness as every single one of Clarke’s attempts fails, crescendo that culminates in an emotional explosion.

The second gif is particularly telling. Titus interrupts them, the moment is gone and Clarke finds herself having to face what just happened. Look at her face, at how she looks away from Lexa and sucks a breath through her teeth. She’s restraining her feelings, but she’s a little too late this time. And it’s not only Lexa who is shaken by Clarke’s emotional outburst, it’s Clarke herself too. She doesn’t catch herself in time and now she can’t pretend with herself that those feelings aren’t there. I think this is when the true first “shift” after the betrayal happens. Clarke wants to keep Lexa at arm’s length but Lexa might very well die that same day and, despite any resolution she had, the thought terrifies Clarke. And she’s so scared that she’s never going to see Lexa again that…

I could write an essay on all the emotions Clarke experiences before and throughout and at the end of Lexa’s duel, but the gist of it is that during this tense moment, with Lexa’s life on the line, she can’t bring herself to hide her feelings. It’s all there, on her face. 

Only when things settle down she is able to collect herself again. Lexa comes visit her that night and we see Clarke pull her walls up again. “I was just doing what was right for my people.” BUT! Even if Clarke is not ready to open up her heart again, that scene is infused with intimacy. Even Clarke’s “rejection” is filled with emotion.

Clarke is the opposite of cold here. The way I see it, she is pulling away because she’s realizing she’s close to giving in, but she’s not yet ready for that. It’s so clear that here Lexa is talking about what happened at Mount Weather too, this is another quiet apology that Clarke obviously recognizes. If she went with her feelings, Clarke would have to admit that she does understand Lexa, that in her heart maybe she’s already forgiven her. But in that moment it’s too overwhelming, so she looks away and avoids the conversation, avoids Lexa’s gaze, avoids having to focus on her feelings.

She literally keeps having to look away because things get too intense but at the same time there’s a tenderness in her eyes that she can’t hide. And once Lexa is gone and she can breathe… bam

All the feelings she restrained, everything she tried to hide merely minutes ago hits her full force. I said I think Clarke’s love for Lexa developed gradually, naturally, but if I had to pick a specific moment and say that’s when Clarke realized she’s in love with Lexa, it would be this one.

By the time we get to 3x06, I do believe Clarke knows and has accepted she is in love with Lexa, but she’s still struggling to admit it out loud, especially to Lexa. That episode happens roughly 7-10 days after the events of Hakeldama, and when we see Clarke and Lexa again, they are closer than ever. There is a sense of intimacy, of almost domesticity between them. They are comfortable with each other’s presence. There’s not really a reason for them being in the same room in that scene: Lexa fell asleep while reading and Clarke is drawing (there are other sheets in her folder, which makes me think she was drawing other things before focusing on Lexa). They don’t have to talk or interact, they simply are together.

When Lexa wakes up from the nightmare, Clarke doesn’t hesitate to jump next to her and comfort her, with soothing touches and calming, reassuring words. And then we get to the moment Lexa notices the drawing. A lot has been said about Lexa’s face, but instead look at Clarke’s.

This is the exact opposite of what I was talking about in 3x04. Lexa sees the drawing and is taken aback. That she doesn’t know whether she should hope for anything is another story, but the look she gives Clarke is very telling. And Clarke doesn’t avoid it. Yes, her first instinct is to play it off as something meaningless. “Uh, that’s not- it’s not finished yet.” But then Lexa looks at her, confused, surprised, a tiny bit hopeful, and Clarke meets her gaze and they just stare at each other. Look at that little pause she does before lifting her eyes. That’s when she chooses not to hide. As I said, I think that here Clarke has come to terms with her feelings for Lexa, but here for the first time, she doesn’t hide them from Lexa. Her look is just as telling as Lexa’s. They aren’t saying a word and this is one of their most honest, important conversations. Clarke is silent, but her eyes are speaking, her untold feelings are there, and maybe letting Lexa know isn’t so unfathomable anymore. Maybe, maybe Clarke this is the closest Clarke has been to being ready.

So this is what i think. The way I see it, it’s tricky and complicated and simply beautiful.

2

It’s no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I failed in that task. And because of my prejudices, I failed you. I am haunted by how things might have turned out differently if I had been more willing to hear your side of things. For me, it’s the end. For you, a chance to grow old and someday do better with your own child than I did with mine. It’s for that child that I give you my ring. I don’t ask for your forgiveness or for you to forget. I ask only that you believe this: whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire, I love you all the same, as I’ve always loved you and always will. 

Love is constant forgiveness. And it sure has been a hard week for a lot of folks. My heart has been hurting because of the choices of my country’s new leadership. In all that I haven’t much felt like picking up my camera. Sometimes you gotta rest and figure out what your voice is gonna sound like. And this morning my encouragement to you is to call your representatives, let them know what you think. You matter and it helps.

In the mean time I’m gonna keep celebrating these silly little moments that make me smile. I’m gonna go explore all corners I’ve never seen. And I’m gonna keep aiming to better live out that love is constant forgiveness.

Just because …

1. Just because I laugh a lot … it doesn’t mean I don’t take life seriously.

2. Just because I act as if I’m happy … it doesn’t mean that everything is OK.

3. Just because I’m willing to forgive … doesn’t mean that you can use me, or treat me badly.

4. Just because I’m not in touch with you … doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten, or don’t care about, you.

5. Just because I am trusting and am sometimes gullible… doesn’t mean that you can lie, or take advantage of me.

6. Just because I hold back and don’t always show my feelings … doesn’t mean that I don’t feel, or can’t be hurt by you and others.

7. Just because I find it hard to say the words “I love you” … doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, or care about you.

family photos ft. lance

excluding coran bc i can’t do him any justice

so i’ve become the girl who cries wolf and then finds a home inside of the wolf’s belly / i told everyone i hated you but every time, i was lying / i told everyone to unfriend you on all social media and deemed them bad friends if they didn’t / i told everyone at parties that you are a mean, vindictive person / the thing is, though, i really believed it at the time / i really thought when i punched you in the face and blocked your number, i could walk away from you and be alright / but in the morning, i texted you and apologized because i felt so bad / and in the end, i forgive you for the pain you’ve shed / i hate you / i love you / get away from me / come closer / i can’t stand the way you make me feel / i’ve never felt anything better / i told everyone i’d never go back to you but here i am again / it’s like every day is a screaming match with myself and i’m a sucker for dramatics / i can’t help it when you’re the only person who has ever made me feel wanted / i mean, sure, you’re doing it with three other girls but when you say you miss me, i still believe it / so yeah, people are so sick of hearing me cry about you and then hearing about me waking up in your bed / if i don’t even want the best for myself why should they want it for me instead / i don’t know, i just want to see the day where i stop screaming / i don’t know, i just want to see the day where i stop feeling
—  wolf girl

Otayuri Week 2017, Day 6: Pair Skate or Rivalry

I decided to give art a try and go back to my drawing days. Some traditional art with watercolors for today’s prompt (I haven’t consistently drawn or painted in years and it shows, please forgive me). No matter how much anatomy knowledge I’ve absorbed from college, I couldn’t do Otabek’s jaw justice OTL. I googled pair skating pics and selected this pose because I loved it. I sort of like how it turned out. Just sort of. But especially Yuri’s face.

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It is never truly wrong to crave love from someone. No one ever said that it was a mistake to fall in love with someone you know who won’t feel the same way towards you. They call it unconditional love when you don’t expect anything in return. Selfless. Brave. When you accept that feelings sometimes will not be mutual. Yet I hope that you should be willing to give the same kind of love to yourself. That even if you did a lot of mistakes, you resist the urge to hate yourself. Instead, I hope that you forgive yourself and learn from lessons you will meet along the way. Because that needs a lot of patience, kindness and courage my dear. Loving yourself even if the world tells you not to. Forgiving yourself even if other people say you don’t need to. Being kind to yourself even if you sometimes think you can’t. Darling, this is what you should always remember, especially when you feel like everything around you seems to kill every little piece of you. Do not ever forget that you deserve love, more especially from yourself. Do not let your light fade away. Stars are there with a purpose. And so are you. Shine brighter. Live.
—  ma.c.a // Self love

anonymous asked:

TT I need advice I told my datepartner it's okay that they're poly and that I just dont want to know about their other relationships but I'm not I'm really not okay with it and I don't know what to do and I'm just really hurt and upset and I know this probably isn't the kind of thing to ask a hp rper but i dont know who else to ask because as dumb as it is cause you dont and will not ever know me you're my best friend I dont know who else I can turn to please help me

(( OOC: I have a very strong opinion on this, so forgive my bluntness.  

Be. Honest. With. People. 

This goes for any type of relationship. If you are not alright with something, if you have concerns, or if someone you love does things that make you upset or uncomfortable… talk to them about it. Be open with them… discuss it (Do it in a kind, loving, open-minded way, but talk to them). 

If you are in a romantic relationship with someone, and you are not comfortable with their preferences or how they view relationships… then there must either be compromise/change… or the romantic relationship should end, because you cannot provide each other with the things that you value most.  

Relationships are built on trust… if you don’t have trust, you don’t have a relationship. If you aren’t honest with others, or if they are not honest with you, then you will be building a relationship with a stranger. 

If you are not truthful about who you are, and what you want out of life… then the person you are with will be falling in love with someone that isn’t real.

They will love the image you put forward and not the real you, because you’re not allowing them to know the real you. You’re catering to what you think they want, and sacrificing yourself in the process. 

If you feel like you can’t be honest with someone, for fear of them leaving you… 

That is not a real relationship. That’s pretending. That’s playing. That’s nothing.

Be. Honest. With. People. 

Be honest with yourself. )) 

3

*drinks water* (did someone posted about this before?)

I know some of you already saw the official manga art (top image) and noticed that Chuuya is the only one alongside with Fukuzawa and Mori that is on the upside down position but I noticed something else…

We can see the others with their masks EXCEPT Dazai who is facing his back and of course just as I said Chuuya is also on another different angle, the only one among the smaller “puppets”. Let me think that Fukuzawa and Mori are on the upside down because they’ve already fallen on Fyodor’s trap which is the truth as of now. They already fell so there is no need for the strings unlike the others. But Chuuya on the other hand is still on the process of “falling” and what’s worrisome is Dazai is facing his back.

My conclusion: Its like telling that Chuuya will “fall” (corruption) and Dazai isnt there (facing his back) to save him..thefore supporting the other theory of Fyodor making Chuuya to use corruption without Dazai..and we all know what will happen if ever-

Let us stop here

I know last night was restless for you. I was talking to the moon about you again. I’ll try not to boast about you too loudly tonight, because I know how much you love your sleep. But I am so damn proud of you and she was being persistent about hearing what was in my heart. Forgive me, sweet one, some things can never be talked about enough.
—  Zachry K. Douglas

I know that lots of fans dislike the constant complaints about their favorite characters, and there are lots of people who dislike this confession tumblr because of it. But I think that this is the genius of JK Rowling. She wrote good characters with lots of flaws. And if you hate them, your hate is valid; and if you love them, the love is valid as well. When I started to look at it that way, the anger towards some opinions that I disliked melted away. For some, a flaw is not forgivable and they hate the character forever. While for others, the flaw is not unforgivable, but understandable and relatable in some weird way.

The Lion King, both the first and the second movie, are my favourites Disney movies since childhood.

I was thinking about a possible AU and Alteans and Galras made this possible. And well, I love prince Lance, he could be a perfect Simba but also a cute Kiara, and I still can’t choose.

In this one, Allura is the older sister and queen of Altea, Lance is her younger brother and Keith as Kovu is a Galra warrior who grew up with Haggar the Witch. At the beginning Keith had to kill Allura in order to take the kingdom back to Galras but then he fell in love with prince Lance and started to change his mind.

Unfortunately, Allura does not believe his change.


Allura: Why have you come back?
Keith: Because… I had nothing to do with-

Allura: You don’t belong here!

Keith: Please… I ask your forgiveness.

Lance: Allura, please… listen to him!

Allura: Silence! When you first came here, you asked for judgment… and I pass it now.

Others Alteans: Kick him out! That’s right! Judgement day is here!

Allura: Exile!

Lance: No!!

and maybe in a different life,
he doesn’t leave you
and you love with sunshine hearts
and everything is bright.

maybe it could have been different
if you were more forgiving
and he stopped trailing blood,
you opened your mouth less
and he opened his more,
you didn’t love too harshly
and he didn’t throw his out the door.

but this isn’t a different life
and things aren’t different.
it doesn’t matter what could have been.
it only matters that he’s not here
and you’re shaking,
sleeping with a nightlight on in bed
because you’re so scared
of living a life without him.

i know.
i’ve been there.
there’s nothing poetic about
the way it feels to cry on the floor.
but sometimes that’s the way life is.
sometimes that’s how you move on.

and you’ve got to move on.
you have to weed through
every part of yourself
until you find the strength to let go.
you can’t keep dreaming.
it won’t change things.

you’ve got to live.
pick yourself up.
smile at the little things.
you have to realize this life
is much bigger than him.
you don’t have a choice.
this is the way it is.

—  and maybe this way is for the best

to my younger self,
i hope you can find it in you to forgive me. i know you already forgave everyone else for all the hurt they caused you, because you’re so good at that, but forgive yourself. forgive the little girl crying in the dark because she thought it was her fault that everyone was always fighting. forgive the fragile soul that was so scared of doing anything wrong because she thought she made everyone leave. forgive the weak and dark parts of yourself. and tuck them away. do not make them more than they are. you spent so long sad that you forgot what happy feels like for years. you forgot what laughter tasted like, you forgot how it felt to have a smile dance across your face, you forgot what it’s like to feel love, to be sweet, to be at peace. but don’t worry, you find it eventually; in yourself, in the world, and in others. – i’m sorry i was so cruel to you, i’m sorry i always locked you away, dimmed you down, and shut you up. i am trying to let myself grow now, i hope you’re proud of who i’ve become and who i’m trying so hard to be.