i finally feel right in my own body

Play Me // A Dylan O’Brien Smut

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Daddy Kink, Oral (both), Spanking, Teasing, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Unprotected Sex, and Swearing.

Word Count: 4,915

Song: Despacito by Luis Fonsi Ft. Daddy Yankee and Justin Bieber

A/N: This is 100% because of the video that came out. The second I saw him playing the drums again, my mind immediately went to sin. I MEAN FUUUCK LOOK AT THIS GIF PEOPLE, HOW CAN IT NOT? Also, thanks to @stilinski-jpeg for keeping me sane throughout the writing process of this fic. Love you so much! 💖

In case you haven’t seen the video or you want to watch it again on loop if you’re like me. 

Fuck, I moaned internally as I watched him lick his plump lips in pure concentration, an immediate ache already rushing to my core just at the sight of Dylan’s sinful tongue.

His fingers were curled around the drumsticks and his muscles were flexed against his biceps with each movement he made as he played the drums in front of me. It took every piece of discipline I had in me to continue playing my saxophone and not toss it on the ground just to throw myself at him. Dylan had such an effect on me that I was constantly turned on whenever I was around him — and he doesn’t even have to do much to get me worked up. Just the way he is can get me easily horny alone.

It all started the night we first created this blues band. He was the drummer we recruited along with his friends Thomas and Dexter for strings and vocals. The three were undoubtedly talented and the perfect additions to our band, but Dylan… he was the perfect addition to my body. That first night the entire band partied to celebrate the arrivals and drinks were the main theme. One thing led to the other and, the next thing I knew, I was rushed into the nearest bathroom and being pushed up against the closed door. Dylan’s calloused hands gripping my leg and hitching it across his waist as he pounds into me mercilessly, fucking me so hard that I couldn’t walk the next day.

His eyes looked up at me for the slightest second and I could see the small smirk dangling from the corner of his lips, my breath hitching in my throat and disrupting my saxophone playing. Dylan noticed the way his smirk made me feel the need to press my thighs together and decided to play even dirtier by winking. I immediately moaned which came out as a strangled note from my instrument. The entire band looked at me with judgemental eyes at my horrid playing, but I was too busy focusing on Dylan chuckling lowly to himself.

“Alright!” I frustratedly shouted, surprising everyone in the studio. “Can we just please take a break from jamming right now? We’ve been at this for hours!”

Our vocalist shrugged carelessly and looked to his fellow bandmates, all shrugging as well before Tommy spoke up. “I guess we should. Maybe we can get something to eat?”

“Yes!” Dexter sat up from his stool, smacking his hands together. “Let’s go to that restaurant we had dinner at yesterday! They had the fucking best chicken fried rice.”

Everyone else agreed, each sharing the food they desperately wanted to eat there again. Well, all except for Dylan and I who were too busy staring at one another, lust burning our pupils to the point of no return. His eyes dipped for the slightest second to rake all over my body, gazing at the low-cut in my crop top before his eyes returned to mine with a cocky grin now invading his pink lips.

“You know, I think we should play our song one more time.” Dylan spoke up, his eyes never leaving me. My own narrowed, immediately understanding how much he still wanted to tease me. “To get it perfect before we officially record it.”

Again, everyone shrugged and agreed with his suggestion. Usually, I love how open they all are for anything but not today, not when I desperately want to feel Dylan’s dick twitching inside of me again as it quickly rubs against my tight walls.

“No, I think we should eat.” I counterparted, pulling the strap of the saxophone off my neck and placing the instrument in its case. “We need the break.”

“Maybe you need the break, kitten.” He raised an eyebrow tauntingly. “I mean, you do seem tense. What’s gotten you all worked up?”

The glare I gave him was nothing short of intense and full of raging fire. He and I both knew what he was doing, especially since he used that damn nickname that did inexplicable things to me. The entire band’s eyes were fixed on me and Dylan used the opportunity to run his fingers over his scruff as he winked yet again, fully aware of his power against me.

Fine then, two can play at this game.

“Having to constantly blow.” I retorted and it was my turn to smirk when his eyes widened. “The instrument, I mean.”

“Well I think you blow just perfectly.”

I was certainly glad that everyone else in the room was terrible at picking up on our innuendos and the incredibly strong sexual tension between Dylan and I. We haven’t exactly told anyone about us yet — mainly because we don’t even know if there is an us. We’ve been hooking up whenever it was convenient but with Dylan’s crazy schedule, it’s been pretty hard to maintain a physical relationship let alone possibly start an emotional one.

“Just one more?” Dylan teased and my mind immediately went to all of the times I begged him to quit pleasuring me when I was already so overstimulated, but he just kept going at it. “And then, I’ll- we’ll stop.”

“Just. One. More.” I stated through clenched teeth.

Picking up my instrument again, Dylan’s eyes were hooked on me as I licked my lips and wrapped them around the tip of my saxophone. The rest of the band members prepared themselves again and Dylan tapped his drumsticks three times to indicate the starting tempo. As soon as he was finished, we were all off and the song started playing beautifully. Despite not missing and mistaking a single note, Dylan and I focused on each other instead of our instruments. The walls of the studio were shaking at how loudly he was playing, each bang vibrating through the floor and into my body. It only made the aching in my core grow even more uncomfortable as it vibrated my cunt, forcing me to hold back any moan I wanted to release.

I watched as his head nodded along with the rhythm he created, his knees bouncing up and down as his feet continuously slammed on the bass pedal to carry the entire beat of the song. I hated to admit it, but our music would be nothing without Dylan’s talented drum skills. He was undoubtedly enjoying himself, the melody completing taking over his body… except for the eyes boring into mine that is.

Fuck, it should be illegal to look that fucking good playing the drums.

I thanked the Lord when the song was finally over and I managed to play every single note without letting Dylan distract me, despite almost falling prey to him many times. He put the drumsticks down on the floor and picked up the green bottle of beer from it instead, his lips pouting as he took a long sip. I was practically drooling at the sight of his adam’s apple moving up and down as he swallowed the bitter liquid. Everyone else, including me, put their instruments away for the time being.

“Time for grub!” Dexter celebrated and the entire room boomed with laughter at his excitement for food. Normally, I would be right there with him but at this moment all I could truly focus on were the way Dylan’s eyes were calling me.

“You guys go ahead.” Dylan stated, standing up. “I think I’d rather eat Chipotle.”

“You sure?” Tommy asked, everybody already at the door. “You should come eat with us so you’re not alone.”

“He won’t be alone. I’ll go with him.” I spoke up, clearing my throat. “Gotta have those delicious chicken cutlets.”

“Suit yourselves.” He shrugged, guiding everyone out of the studio and closing its door behind them.

It was as if the second that door sealed shut, every bit of sexual tension we were trying to keep to ourselves was released out into the air. Just the thought of what was undeniably about to happen next made my pulse accelerate, my heart pounding against my chest. I wasn’t the only one effected as I watched Dylan take slow steps towards me as if I were a magnet pulling him in closer and closer. He was practically undressing me with his eyes and usually I would blush at such a forward act, but now right now. Right now, all I want him to do is give into the lustful things his eyes are telling me.

“So,” I broke the silence, my breath unstable as he finally reached me and placed his hand on the small of my back. His lips brushing against my neck, making goosebumps cover my skin. “How about we go eat take out?”

“No, kitten.” He whispered, my body shivering at the feeling of his lips touching my ear. “I’d rather eat you out, instead.”

Dylan’s mouth immediately moved to mine and he crashed his lips against my own. I couldn’t help but moan into our sudden kiss, throwing my arms around his neck. His skillful lips meshed with mine in such a fiery and passionate pace, he almost made me lose my balance. My hands didn’t just remain on his neck as he successfully seduces me, but ventured over his back and explored the amazing feeling of his flexed muscles pressed against my palm. Our breaths mingled before Dylan licked my bottom lip with his tongue and I instinctively opened it for his tongue to have its very welcome entrance. I could taste the alcohol in his mouth along with the mint from his toothpaste and all of my senses were heightened, begging for more of him.

I broke the kiss, but he chose to continue teasing me as his lips moved to my jaw then my neck. Not even bothering to hide the fact that he was currently creating a purple bruise on my skin with his smooth assaults. My fingers gripped onto his back, my nails digging into our band’s t-shirt. He chuckled on my neck and I instantly whimpered at the resonance.

“Please, I have been unbelievably horny since the moment you walked through that door today.” I moaned. “Just fucking do something already.”

“Patience, kitten.” Dylan retorted, his fingers moving to the hem of my high-waisted skirt just to tease me. “Good things come to those who wait.”

“Not when their friends will be back soon.” I mewled.

“Honestly, they could walk in on us fucking and I wouldn’t even stop.” Dylan nibbled on my ear. “Now, kitten, tell me all of the things you want my mouth to do to you. Teach me your favorite places.”

“You already know my favorite places, Dylan.” I responded and definitely didn’t miss the cocky grin he played on my skin.

“Just because of that impeccable response I’ll give you want you want, babygirl.” He whispered huskily before moving his hands to the back of my knees and lifting me up.

This time I was the one who started the desperate kiss as he walked forwards, my back suddenly hitting the wall behind me. I lost my rhythm with his lips and failed to remain the dominant one when his hands massaged the back of my thighs, sparking more desire throughout my entire body. Just as I was about to try and get my power back, Dylan unexpectedly broke our kiss. Our panting breaths hitting each other’s faces before he started to push me up. I looked at him with wide eyes, but allowed him to do whatever it is he’s planning to do. The next thing I know, I’m so high up that he wraps my legs around his neck.

With my legs dangling over his shoulders, Dylan moved one of his hands to my inner thigh and purposely drummed his fingers on my skin before reached the area closest to my core. I bucked my hips for him to do more and, to my surprise, he actually did. Dylan suddenly ripped apart the thong I wore and felt no remorse towards ruining something I owned, and, honestly, neither did I. I was so glad there finally wasn’t anything keeping him from touching me anymore that I didn’t even bother to think about the consequences.

“Fuck, you weren’t kidding about how horny you are.” Dylan chuckled, certainly staring at the arousal covering my cunt. My hips twitched the second his finger swiped through my slick folds and a shameless moan fell from my lips when he licked his wet finger with his tempting tongue. “God, kitten, you always taste so damn good.”

“P-Please.” I begged.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Dylan smirked, nibbling my outer lips. “I know that I’m a drummer and I’m good with my hands, but damn kitten.”

“And I’m a saxophone player, I’m very good with my mouth.” I retorted, raking my fingers through his dark strands. “Which I’ll gladly use on you if you just give me what I want.”

“Well, you certainly have a way with words, babygirl.” He stated before finally doing what I wanted him to by swiping his tongue up my core, my vocal chords releasing the most animalistic moan the second the tip of his tongue touched my clitoris. “Damn, you sing the second I touch you.” He chuckled. “Kinda like playing the piano.”

“Then, play me.”

The last thing I saw was Dylan’s pupils dilate just before he dipped his head under the fabric of my skirt along with his hand and began his mind-boggling pleasure on my core. His tongue created fast and steady circles on my sensitive nub, immediate pleasure striking through my veins. However, my body buzzed intensely the moment he pushed a finger into my soaking heat and pumped it repeatedly. My eyes instantly shut tight and chose to only focus on the feelings he was creating inside of me.

I squirmed and my hips bucked involuntarily, my own fingers clutching onto his hair. He grunted at the harsh feeling and my lungs immediately gasped when the vibration of his voice rippled through my core and initiated the build up now invading me. I could feel my nipples hardening against the cheap fabric of my bra and I desperately wanted to pinch them in between my fingers — which is exactly what I did after I let go of him to rip apart my blouse along with my laced bra. Dylan couldn’t exactly see what I had just done, but he definitely put two and two together at the sound of the tearing fabric and didn’t hold back his moan. Letting what remained of my shirt and bra fall to the ground and playing with my nipples in my fingers, I felt as Dylan added another one of his in me. He increased the pressure and the pace, giving more power to my build up.

“F-Fuck, baby.” I moaned audaciously. “Just like that.”

He followed my request and continued moving his two fingers in my tight cunt rapidly, but his lips however wrapped around my clit. His tongue still licked and played with it as well, but now he had added his sinful mouth to the mix. My sensitive nub enjoyed the attention it was getting from Dylan, flashing pure thrill and bliss straight to my build up.

Carefully hearing out how responsive I was being, Dylan decided to do more when he knew I was ready for it. He scissored his two fingers inside of me and I screamed, my body already shaking with its arriving orgasm. Dylan’s addictive movements in my cunt only stopped right when he knew I was going to cum and curled the tips of his fingers against my walls instead, the perfect amount of pressure I needed to fall into my release.

I didn’t expect Dylan to stop as I came, but I certainly did expect him to when I finished. However, he did not halt his actions at all. In fact, Dylan only increased them. His hand removed itself from my core and returned its post on my thigh along with the other one. He pulled back from the wall and my own hands immediately flew to his hair for stability, but I didn’t make it in time. Although his grip on my thighs were incredibly strong enough and wouldn’t let me completely fall, I couldn’t help but squeal when the top half of my body dropped down, by back now resting on his legs.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get more intense, Dylan slipped his tongue into my cunt and I urgently wrapped my arms around the back of his knees. The new position enhanced everything he was doing to me, expanding my pleasure by one-hundred percent. I whimpered and mewled at Dylan’s invasive touch, considering how overstimulated I was. But, he didn’t stop his attempt at giving me more than one consecutive orgasm.

His tongue was deep in me, constantly brushing my g-spot, and he licked around my walls, definitely enjoying my taste by the way he moaned continuously along with me. My back arched and my legs shook again at the feeling of his tongue literally fucking me just as Dylan’s thumb applied unbelievable pressure on my incredibly swollen clitoris. Not only making me reach my orgasm and cum, but literally fucking gush. My immense arousal squirted out of my cunt, certainly soaking his entire face.

This time Dylan did stop, but only when he deemed ready. My core was throbbing intensely as he walked us over to his drumming bench and asked me to place my hands on them for him to pull my legs off of his shoulders and carefully settle them on the floor without the risk of hurting me nor letting me fall. Once he laid my legs on the ground, my butt involuntarily sitting down too, I watched with hooded eyes as he pulled his shirt off his body and used it wipe his face clean.

“Take your skirt off, kitten.” He commanded, unbuttoning his khakis and letting them drop to the floor.

“Yes, daddy.” I bit down on my lip, enjoying the view of him momentarily losing his shit at the nickname just as he stepped out of his pants pooling at his feet.

“Daddy, huh? Just when I thought you couldn’t get any sexier…” He smirked, taking taunting steps towards me. “Now, why don’t you kneel here in front of daddy?”

I didn’t say anything, I just changed my position to settle on my hands and knees and slowly crawled in his direction. The feeling of my skin scraping against the rug burned, but I chose to ignore it. I could see the huge bulge in his grey boxer-briefs create a wet stain with his increasing precum at how the sight turned him on beyond compare and it boosted me to sway my hips more, my confidence growing. Dylan’s hand moved down to his crotch and he slowly palmed himself over the fabric before becoming impatient and pulling down his boxers just enough to start touching himself. Immediate heat and lust rushed back to my core at the way he pumped his own dick, my mouth drooling at his actions.

Once I reached him, I placed my hands on his bare thighs to steady myself as I settled just on my knees, the rug digging into my skin. Our eyes were locked together, my mouth inching closer to his shaft. He didn’t stop masterbating even when I took his tip into my mouth and sucked profusely, his throat making its own strangled noises. My tongue licked the precum off of his slit and Dylan’s hips bucked, involuntarily​ pushing a little more of him inside my mouth. I swatted his hand away and he let both of his hands run through my hair as I took in as much of his cock as I could. Dylan gathered my hair together in a temporary ponytail and whilst my mouth bobbed his dick rapidly, my tongue would constantly graze against his prominent vein on the underside of his member.

“Shit, kitten.” Dylan moaned, bucking his hips faster. “Your talented lips feel so fucking good around my cock. Thank God you’re so invested in playing the saxophone.”

I moaned around his staff and he immediately growled at the intense vibration, his hand gripping tighter in my hair. Impatient with letting me be in control, Dylan pulled my hair back roughly, my head going along with it. Then he, suddenly, pushed my head right back to take him in again deeply — so deeply that his swollen tip lodged in the back of my throat. Dylan created this new pace where he would pull my hair to guide his dick in and out along with his thrusts. The stinging pain on my scalp from his harsh pulling did not overpower the lust inside of me and I willingly allowed Dylan to use my mouth as a damn fucktoy.

“Fuck me, babygirl.” He grunted before unexpectedly pulling me back and not letting me take him in my mouth anymore.

Suddenly, Dylan tore my grip away from his thighs and let my hair go. He took a step back, my palms immediately landing flat out on the floor to keep from falling. The strands of my hair swayed to the front of my face as he stepped out of his boxers and walked behind me. I heard him fall to his own knees and, without any warning, a loud sound of Dylan’s palm slapping against my skin echoed in the room along with the sound of my scream at the stinging pain of just getting spanked.

“God, I fucking love your ass.” Dylan confessed, sinking his teeth into my cheeks and letting go right after another scream escaped my lips.

“Jesus Christ, Dylan.” I grunted, already out of breath. “Just stop teasing and shove your dick inside of me already.”

“Did you just call me Dylan?” He tisked and I could picture him shaking his head. “You know that’s not what I want, babygirl. Which means I won’t give you want you want.”

“N-No, I’m sorry!” I whined. “Daddy, please.”

Dylan surprised me when he pushed just his tip inside of me, my core pulsing around him. However, he stopped teasingly and it drove me absolutely crazy. I tried bucking my hips back, but Dylan just grabbed my waist roughly and halted my attempts.

“Come on, daddy.” I whimpered at the feeling of his dick throbbing. “Just fuck me.”

“Like this?” Dylan asked, slowly pushing in until he was buried to the hilt before pulling back out at the same agonizing pace. He did this a few times and my body begged for more, not able to withstand the slow rate.

“Faster.” I begged impatiently. “You know how I like it rough.”

Dylan moaned at my commands, but continued his vehement torture anyway and I wasn’t having anymore of it. Bringing my hands back, I ripped Dylan’s off my waist and he almost lost his balance at my sudden movement. Pulling his dick out of me, I pushed him to lie down on the rug and threw my legs over his hips to straddle him. Both of my knees settled on the rug and Dylan’s eyes widened at me before they narrowed with a growing smirk.

“Damn-” He began to speak, but my finger flew to his lips and stopped him from continuing his sentence. His eyebrows quirked in curiosity and I simply gave him the most smug grin I could put together.

“I’m in charge now.”

Dylan’s dick twitched in between my thighs at my new confidence and his hands flew to my hips, allowing me to do whatever I damn pleased. I grabbed his shaft before positioning it at my entrance and sitting down on him until I felt his balls on my ass. His head instantly fell back to the ground, his eyes shutting tight. Thanks to how fucking wet I was from just having two orgasms (and counting), it wasn’t hard to glide him in and out of me. Both of our throats erupting into uncontrollable moans and neither one of us had the intention to stop.

My hands were splattered out on his chest, my nails raking down his skin and digging into it as his own fingers gripped my hips tightly to help guide me. I bounced up and down on his cock, the wet sound of skin meeting every time my cheeks came into contact with his balls. Dylan growled lowly whenever my nails created stinging shapes in his flesh. My build up returned stronger than ever, already licking at my veins. Dylan could sense how close I was from how I tightened around his shaft and his eyes opened, a sense of mischief pooling in them.

One of his hands made its way to our repeatedly connecting bodies and everything inside of me jerked the moment his fingers applied rough pleasure on my clit. A flash of heat spread through my body as I screamed, not able to hide how much I loved his addictive advances. However, it was when Dylan sat up and not only changed the angle but pushed me back a little so he could attach his mouth onto my breast that the build up won. My arms wrapped around his neck to keep some sort of balance as my body violently shook with its intense orgasm. I continued to bounce on his dick and Dylan grunted loudly when I clenched around it. His teeth bit my nipple harshly and I screamed, all of my senses dancing on the surface of my skin.

Even as my body fell limp and stopped moving, Dylan didn’t. His hand on my hips wrapped around my waist and elevated my body slightly before thrusting up into me. At this point, I couldn’t even control the overwhelming amount of screams falling from my lips along with his name.

“That’s right, kitten.” He managed to say through moans. “Scream my name and forget every other name that exists. I’m the only one that can fuck you like this.”

I felt that same flash of heat again, followed by another and another as he continued to thrust up into my g-spot, his cock rubbing so fucking deliciously against my tight walls that it made me want to cry. No crashing waves and no build up, this time a violent pleasure tore through me. A whiplash of ecstasy snapping at my clit and spreading everywhere. Dense streams of cum slithered down my legs and I noticed as it soaked him, dripping down his cock, covering his balls and pooling over his thighs.

His fingers changed its pace on my overly sensitive nub and I crashed again, falling deep into the abyss of euphoria. Each climax was unique and when the final one was drawn out of me, I actually cried — like literally. My tears rolled down my flushed cheeks. My lungs hurt at the lack of air. My throat was dry from screaming too much. My lips were raw from the insane amount of kissing and biting down on them. And every joint in my body ached.

When he noticed I couldn’t handle anymore, Dylan pulled himself out and laid me down on the floor. I was completely out of breath and unable to move my body, but I still watched with hooded eyes as he crawled over me. Each of his knees settling beside my shoulders, his hands moving down to my head and grabbing my hair.

“Do you wanna taste daddy’s cum, kitten?” He teased and I immediately nodded. “I’m gonna need you to say it.”

“Yes, daddy.” I spoke up, my hands holding onto the back of his knees. “Fuck my mouth.”

That’s all the incentive he needed to shove his dick into my mouth and I gladly welcomed it back. Dylan used his hand on my head in synch with his thrusts to control how deep he wants to go. Because he was already so close to his edge from constantly feeling my cunt tighten around him, Dylan was already falling off of it in a matter of seconds. It only took a few thrusts and my mouth hollowing out as my tongue constantly licked his sensitive tip. Dylan’s hot release immediately shot out of his slit and landed on my palate, the delicious salty taste of his cum making me moan.

“God, no one can give a blowjob like you, babygirl.” Dylan whispered huskily, laying back down on the floor beside me.

The sexual tension in the air eased down and was replaced with pure bliss, both of our chests rising and falling with heavy breaths. All of a sudden, Dylan turned around and nudged his face amongst my shoulders. Goosebumps making its ways on my skin at the feeling of his hot breath against my neck as he wrapped a lazy arm around my waist.

“What'cha doing there, Dyl?” I asked curiously.

“Breathing in your neck because you always smell so good.” He shrugged.

“Well, I’m just gonna pretend that’s not a weird thing to say.” I chuckled and he laughed with me.

“Sorry.” He smiled, placing a chaste kiss on my skin. “Would you rather I whisper things into your ear so you remember them when you’re not with me?”

“Hmm, that would be nice.” I smiled before it turned into a grin. “But, I’d rather go eat that take out.”

New Friends

“Life is worth living again. Another day, life is worth living again.” the last piano note was strummed lightly as Justin pressed down on the key, the sound echoing around the marble room of the entrance hall where his grand piano was displayed in the middle.

It wasn’t often that Justin took time to settle at the large piano and just sing some songs while I watched. He usually left that for the studio room upstairs but today was different for some reason.

Today he actually offered to sing something to me on the piano instead of me begging him like it would usually go down. Without hesitation I agreed, excited to hear the sweet sound of my boyfriends amazingly graceful voice as he sung a melody besides me on the bench. 

I smiled up at the handsome boy with love in my eyes, still so amazed and mesmerised by his talent and the fact that out of all the girls in the world, he picked me as the one he would give his love too. “You’re so amazing Jay.” It came out as a small whisper in the large room, my eyes locked on his honey ones. A smile etched on his face as he leaned slightly inwards, ridding of the space between us both. 

 "I could and will say the same for you.“ His tongue darted out of his mouth, moistening his dry lips in a swift movement. “How did I get so lucky to pick up such an amazing girl?” The simple question had my heart fluttering in my chest.

“The same way I got lucky to be picked up by such a talented guy.” I responded.

Without any more thought in our actions, we both leant forward, connecting our lips together in a familiar kiss that always managed to send shivers and sparks throughout my entire being. 

It started sweet and lovingly, his lips moulding with my own as they squirmed around with mine. The soft flesh of his lips leaving no corner unmarked. Sliding as close as the seat would allow me to over to Justin’s side, I just couldn’t seem to find the closeness I desired. I could never be too close to Justin. 

Finally being fed up with the feeling of distance between my boyfriends and my own bodies, I flicked my right leg up and swung it around his body until I was placed firmly in his lap - lips still fighting against each other. Justin moaned at the proximity of my legs wrapped around him, always being turned on by any contact my body made with his.

His hand that had previously tangled itself in my hair was slowly sliding down my body until it settled on my hip, just next to my butt. His fingers tapped at my hip, teasing me as the once sweet kiss quickly turned to one of hunger and lust. Goosebumps trailed from the area Justin’s fingers tapped at all the way to my core, setting me off as my moan vibrated throughout Justin’s mouth, he knew what was to come next. 

Hesitantly, his lips left mine and began trailing down to the skin on my collar bone, deciding that it was time to give my neck some attention. His mouth worked magics on my neck, biting and nipping at my sweet spot which Justin knew all too well. My head threw back in pleasurable desire, allowing him all the access he wanted to the sensitive area. 

Justin’s hands once again began to travel my body, his hands exploring every imperfection of it, and somehow making all my insecurities flutter away. Squirming down to my hip, his hand squeezed the flesh harshly before trailing further until it found its place at the waistband of my Nike shorts. 

He teased the area, playing around with the fabric, pulling on it to force the impression that he was going to remove them from my body before releasing it, causing it to slap back onto my skin. 

I moaned in aggravation against him, finally becoming impatient as his lustful side began to surface. The cocky, teasingly sexy side to the pop star. The one that everyone desired to get a taste at but couldn’t, since that was for my eyes and my eyes only. 

 "Stop teasing.“ I grunted through the pleasure his lips created, wanting nothing more then to just feel every part of his skin. His smirk recked against my neck in pride of the sexual frustration he brang me, knowing he could get me begging on my knees if he wanted to. For him, I would do anything for his attention, and he loved it.

“Patience, princess.” He rasped, his voice sending heat waves through my core, just begging for his touch. Slowly, his fingers inched down to the most sensitive part of my body. Fingers slipping under the waistband of my shorts and through my underwear until he was met with my heated womanhood. 

His touch sent pins and needles to the surface of my clit, his finger rubbing circles roughly causing my mouth to part and small pants to escape my lips. The smirk which rest on his face revealed just how much he really enjoyed watching me practically melt under his touch, all until he suddenly ripped his hand out of my shorts, bringing his finger up to his mouth. “You taste so good baby girl.” He growled into my ear.

An uncontrolled moan rolled off my lips at the raspiness of his voice and without warning, Justin placed his hands on my hips and lifted me off his lap, harshly placing me down on the keys of his grand white piano. As my weight hit the keys, the sound of the cords echoing around the entrance hall made me jump, creating a not so pleasant, out of range tune.

Justin chuckled at my reaction, standing up from the piano bench until he was aligned with my body, then quickly jerked my pants down my leg pulling my underwear along with it. Knowing exactly what was to come next, I lifted my arms to which Justin responded by tugging my shirt over my head, discarding both items of clothing in a pile on the floor.

As I reached behind me to unclasp my lace bra, Justin took the time I was occupied to pull off his shirt and pants and quickly ran to the bathroom on the ground floor, only to return with a condom.

Using his teeth to rip the packet open, he hurriedly pulled out the rubber item inside and began fumbling to remove his underwear. As his fingers played with the hem of his Calvins, I snatched the condom out of his grasp and waited impatiently for him to reveal himself to me.

Once he was standing fully nude, I quickly moved my hands forward to roll the condom on his large member, letting my hand linger an extra few seconds just to get his boner - which was already rock hard - going.

Soon, Justin’s whimpers began filling the echo-y room as my hands ran up and down his dick, begining slow before gradually picking up the speed. Once I felt Justins cock twitch in my hand and his eyes roll back, followed by his head, I was quick to stop pumping, and lift myself up slightly. 

Justin groaned in frustration, more then likely getting the impression that I had stopped pumping just to tease him, but it was far from that. And as I pulled him forward, using my hand to align his dick up to my opening, I think he finally realised that. 

His dark, lust filled eyes flickered up to mine for only a split second, before he suddenly took control, gripping my hips tightly before pounding into my tight heat. The strength and force in his action had me seeing stars, eyes rolling back in slight pain but mass pleasure. 

“Justin.” I groaned in a breath. It almost came off as a whisper, and Justin liked loud. 

“Louder baby, daddy can’t hear you.” He grunted, steadying a pace as he pounded into me.

“Justin!” I moaned just above an indoor voice. Justin bent over, placing his lips on mine for a quick peck, before slowly trailing down my jaw then landing on my neck, his teeth biting and nipping at the skin. My mind went into overdrive at the sensation, Justin smirking because he knew how sexy I found it when he left love bites. 

“One more time babygirl, I’m finding it hard to hear you over the sound of your wetness.”

Once more I opened my mouth, a small squeal escaping as Justin nipped the spot just above my breast, before a loud “Justin baby, Oh God!!” rolled off my tongue, a smirk playing on his lips.

“That’s right beautiful, you make sure you tell everyone who’s fucking you senseless right now.” His tone, raspy and amused, was enough to push my one step further, with my orgasm just around the corner, I couldn’t take it. Especially when Justin made the bold move of placing a finger on my clit, where he then began rubbing circles. 

“Sh-Shit!” 

“Ugh, God baby your so tight. You make me feel so fucking good.” He growled. 

Looking up towards his face, I couldn’t help but bite my lip at the sight. Justins hair was flipped slightly over his forehead from looking down on me as his eyes squeezed shut tightly. The light reflecting a small layer of sweat against his face, showing how hard he really was into making me feel good.

“Fuck your so hot Baby boy.” After saying this, I quickly sat up, grabbing a hold of Justin where I then wrapped my arms around his torso, digging my nails into his back as he continued. 

“I-I Can’t hold it i-in anymore princess. I’m gonna cum.” He moaned in a strained voice. I smiled, loving the effect we had on each other. 

“Cum for me Jay. C’mon baby.” I urged. 

After a few more strides, I began to feel his thrusts becoming sloppy as he moaned. His dick throbbing a few more times before finally, the warm liquid filled the condom, leaving me to only begin riding off my orgasm.

Justin being Justin, knew I had only began to reach my high and although he had just came himself, he continued to thrust in and out of me, until I couldn’t hold back anymore and made quick to remove Justin from inside of me. Justin quickly moved his arm forward and began rubbing my clit as the liquid from my ejaculation escaped my womanhood, creating a small puddle of arousal on the floor. 

You know he fucked you good when you squirt. 

Once my high had dropped, Justin and I where left a panting mess in each other’s arms. His hand still lay on my clit, a smirk on his face as he leaned down to kiss my forehead. “That was amazing sweetheart.”

“Gotta be on the top ten list.” I muttered, causing a chuckle to escape his throat. Justin stepped back, allowing me space to jump off the keys of the piano and bent down to pick up my shirt. 

Justin did the same, snatching my bra off the ground and handed it to me.

After fastening my bra, slipping on my underwear and shorts, it was just before I had slipped my shirt over my head when the front door suddenly slid open, Za, Khalil, Maejor, Kendall and Hailey all standing on the other side.

“Guess who’s just arrived and is hungry as shit! It’s Za bitches, your lifes just got bette- Holy shit!” 

Justin and I’s heads shot over to look at the intruders, quickly scurrying to tug on the remainder of our missing clothes. With my arousal still on the floor, Justin’s condom tied in a knot placed on the piano and our attempt to hide our revealed body parts with discarded clothes, it was more then obvious what had just gone down here. 

“Seriously guys?” Kendall groaned. 

“What do you mean seriously?!  You didn’t tell us y’all were coming over, and last time we checked, this was our house! We usually have privacy in here.” Justin stated. 

“Yeah but like…On the piano? Really?” Haileys face twisted in slight distraught. 

“Y’all just jealous.” I smirked, walking to the kitchen to roll up same paper towels.

“Damn Y/n! I didn’t know you were a squirter!” Za yelled as I re-entered the room to clean the mess on the floor.

“Ew Za…Just ew.” Hailey mumbled, shaking her head. 

“You know what, we’ll be in the theatre room. You all can join us once your done cleaning up the result of your fuck fest.” Khalil chuckled. They all nodded, all sliding past us and up the stairs, all except for Za, who had gone the opposite direction into the kitchen only to return with a packet of cheetos and a coke can.

Sending us a nod with a mouthful of cheetos, the spastic boy jumped up the stairs, skipping every other step. Once there was no more best friends to be seen, Justin and I looked back at each other both sighing before allowing small giggled to escape our lips. Justin slid forward, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulled me into a slightly sloppy kiss. 

Savouring every moment, I couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed when he pulled away.

“Our friends are mentally challenged.” I giggled. Justin chuckled along to my offensive joke.

“I think we need a new address, so they don’t know where to find us and barge in on our sex life again.” Justin sighed.

“Stuff a new address, how about new friends?” I smiled.

“WE HEARD THAT!” Kendall shouted from upstairs.

Justin and I chuckled before reconnecting our lips one last time.

***

I really didn’t know how to end this one.

Originally posted by ryxnsven

Fanfiction - A Lifetime of Her (Part VIII)

Part VIII – “Please teach me gently how to breathe”

You can find every previous part here.

Twenty-eight

“Open yer mouth.” I ordered with what I thought might be a commanding voice, holding a spoon in front of her stubbornly closed lips. “This jelly actually looks delicious. Ye need yer strength.”

“Yuck.” Claire showed me her tongue in distaste. “Why don’t you eat it, then? I’ve been eating that yellow blob for the last three weeks!”

“Sometimes it’s red.” I pointed patiently. “I ken ye’re tired of being here, mo nighean donn – I have spent enough time in hospitals to last me a lifetime, I assure ye – but ye’re scrawny as a bird fallen from its nest. They won’t let ye leave unless ye put on some weight.”

“Fine.” She replied in a mordant tone, clutching the spoon away from me. “But I can feed myself – I’ve been shot, not taken back in time to when I was two years old.”

“Then stop acting like a wicked bairn.” I offered her a playful nose scrunch. “How is yer pain?”

“About as good as it was two minutes ago, the last time you asked.” Claire swallowed a spoonful of the hospital’s dessert, grimacing. “Are you sure you haven’t been a nurse in a past life? You seem to like prodding and ordering way too much.”

“I’m sure whatever I was, ye were always the one in charge, lass.” I kissed her forehead – marvelling with the freshness of her skin, after so many days of burning fever. On top of her surgery, from which she was slowly recovering, Claire had developed an infection of her suture – which finally had started to heal properly, after days of intravenous antibiotics. Her usually calm and centred temper had suffered with prolonged seclusion and constant fear of a relapse – and undoubtedly she found my constant attentions profoundly tiresome, if amusing and heartening.

“How is my favourite patient?” Denzel asked, entering the room and greeting us with a warm smile. He looked tired, wearing his crumpled scrubs, his surgical cap slightly hanging from a pocket. “I hear half of the nurses in the department are handing in their notices, unless I discharge you.”

“Hardly.” Claire smiled, neatly folding a corner of her sheet after pushing away the lunch tray. She still looked quite pale, with deep dark smudges under her eyes, but her orbs had regained their usual sharpness and liveliness. “But I’ll let you get away with it if you let me leave this damned place.”

“I’ll have to check your dressings.” Denny squeezed my shoulder in a companion manner, before stepping in to expose her abdomen, still covered with fluffy white bandages. “Your labs are back though – your infection parameters are finally down, so you might be in for some good news.”

After some clicking of his tongue – and a heated debate between the two doctors, from which I only understood about half the strange words – it was settled that Claire was allowed to leave the next day, as long as she accepted to come in every two days to check and redress the wound.

“And you have to build up some body again.” Denzel alerted, ignoring her disarming glances with a professional face. “The infection took almost all of your muscle. You need to eat a bit more if you want to heal nicely.”

“Fine!” She conceded, mocking exasperation. “Get me a cheeseburger, then!”

“Take care, Claire.” Denny winked and brushed her hair with a kind hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning before you leave.”

“Will ye go home, do ye think?” I asked slowly, as she adjusted her pillow to settle in for the afternoon, after Denzel’s departure.

“Where else would I go?” Claire gave me a questioning look, softly squeezing my hand.

“Well,” I started, caressing her knuckles with my thumb. “I was thinking ye could come to my place – just while ye heal.” I added hurriedly, trying not to sound desperate and possessive. “My mind wouldna be at ease if ye were alone in her house, almost empty as it is, with no one to look after ye.”

“If you’re sure.” She raised a brow and smiled. “I can be quite the handful.”

“I am.” I breathed out, trying to control the emotions that seemed to ran so close to the surface, exposed and rampant, after her injury. “Bad things seem to happen when we’re apart. I want ye close to me – I want to care for ye, mo ghraidh.”

“It’s settled, then.” Claire grabbed by hand and pulled me in for a rewarding kiss. “You’ll be my private nurse.”

****

She had protested, assuring me she was quite capable of climbing up the stairs to my apartment – but I saw the effort everything required of her, even standing or laughing too hard – and carried her in my arms, only letting go when I laid her down on my bed.

After helping her change into some comfortable pyjamas, I contentedly sat by the bedroom window, grading some tests from my students, while she took a nap. Once in a while I stopped, my eyes drifting to her, reassuring myself she dreamt within my reach.

I cooked us a simple dinner – roasted chicken with basil and tomatoes, aromatic and homely – and helped her to lay down again, determined to find a place in the sofa or on the floor, where I could sleep close to her without disturbing her.

“Will you sleep next to me?” She asked softly, her brown curls and hawk eyes almost the only visible thing inside the cocoon of quilts I had made around her. “I’d sleep better with you beside me.”

“Aye.” I replied in a husky voice, easing myself under the covers next to her with gentleness, trying not to disturb her with my movements – the idea of causing her any pain made my stomach churn.

I placed an arm around her, reassuring her of my presence – mindful not to put too much pressure over her or to touch her scar. For a time we laid silent, aware of each other’s presence, discovering the intimacy of a bed shared in darkness.

We had been so once before – but at that time she had been devastated, wrecked like a ship after an unforgiving storm, and I had offered her security, a presence of someone who loved her without any demands. I remembered how I had stayed awake, memorizing her until I could recreate her in my heart - believing I’d never see her again, much less hold her in my arms. I wondered if she too recalled that night, when I had offered her the knowledge of my feelings, in the hope that she could use them to heal – and she had.  

I knew she wasn’t sleeping – I’d spent every day and night for the last weeks watching her sleep, until I knew the cadence of her breathing, the comes and goings of her dreams, like a second nature of my own.

She trashed about a little, fidgeting with bedclothes and adjusting her body on the mattress – always laying on her left side, wishing to avoid the tenderness of her upper right quadrant – slowly searching for the contact of my body behind hers, sheltering her like a cloak, two halves finally falling into place.

I waited for her to speak, painfully aware of the desires of my body, feeling her soft arse wedged between my thighs – yet completely restrained by the will of the woman who ruled me.  

A hand came up in the darkness and she placed it gently on my hip.

“I want you.” Claire whispered, almost sobbing. “I need you, Jamie.”

“Are ye sure?” I asked in a husky voice, my fingertips brushing her face, tracing her lips to find truth in her words in the absence of sight. “I dinna want to hurt ye. I’d die if I hurt ye, mo nighean donn.”

“You could never hurt me.” She replied softly, caressing the length of my thigh. “I can’t breathe while we’re apart. I must have you – please, Jamie.”

I didn’t try to dissuade her again, even afraid as I was that it was too soon, too hazardous. I knew all too well the hunger that moved her towards me, starved for life when death had come so close, when it seemed that each moment could be the last. We had lost and found each other in the past, time and again – it seemed that while we were one flesh, one body, parting us would be impossible. While we were in each other, life – and death – was an afterthought, a remote threat, to which we were immune while moving as one.

I moved impossibly slowly, wishing to give her enough space to retrocede at any time, baring us of as many clothes as possible. I kissed the back of her neck, delighted in the small shivers of her skin next to mine, the testament of her arousal in her hardened nipples. I caressed her body with a worshiping hand, taking time at each new discovery that made her moan and hiss in pleasure.

When I thought her ready – desperately pressing herself against me while clawing at my hair – I held her thigh with a light hand and raised her, slightly folding my legs, so I could enter her. I rocked calmly with her body nestled against mine, letting her command the pace while I carried all the weight of her movements.

“I love you”. She whispered – moaned - tilting her head to kiss my lips. “Jamie.” I felt the moistness of her cheeks mixed with mine, tears of a joy long forsaken, exploding between us with enough force to leave us gasping, deeply moved.

It didn’t take long – I knew she was still weak, stubborn and lustful as she might have been. When I felt her tire in my arms, my hand came around her hips to delicately touch her in time with our movements, smiling as she cried out my name.

Afterwards, I held her against me, my hand brushing the dressing on her belly to make sure everything was in place – feeling the comforting thump of our hearts beating together, close enough to be inside the same chest.

“I was right.” She murmured on the verge of sleep, surrendering to my keeping once more. “Nothing hurts when you love me.”

The end

…for now - End of Section 1

Happy Birthday Everlart!

Originally posted by superiorgirls1

 

Happy Birthday @everlart! We here at @everlarkbirthdaydrabbles hope that you’ve had a fantastic day. Here’s a little gift for you, penned by the always amazing @javistg!

A Knock at the Door

AN: Happy birthday! Hope you’re having an amazing day :)

“Soon after I go to bed, there’s a quiet knock on my door, but I ignore it. I don’t want Peeta tonight. Especially not with Darius around.”

CF p220

Canon divergent. What if Katniss had opened the door?

Dinner goes by in a blur. Katniss pushes her peas around her plate and struggles with the fact that the avox standing next to her is none other than Darius.

After dinner, she wedges herself between Haymitch and Cinna to watch the recap of the Quarter Quell’s opening ceremonies. Her heart sinks as she follows her competition on the screen. The parade of aging victors looks pitiful in her eyes.

With a quick goodbye, Katniss heads back to her room and gets ready for bed.

She’s already tucked in for the night when she hears a quiet knock on her door. Peeta.

Her first instinct is to ignore him. To hide under the covers and hope her district partner goes away.

But, as she burrows deep into the blankets, she’s hit by how mad she still is at him for laughing at her, for betraying her to the other victors by joining in their mockery and ridicule.

Suddenly, the burning anger which has been simmering inside her all night takes over. With a determined huff, she jumps out of bed and rushes to open the door.

Keep reading

4

I don’t know if you’re the same anon, I assume you’re the same. And I have not so much time right now and I shouldn’t be drawing BUT SASODEI IS SASODEI and I cannot say no to THAT CLASSIC AND ETERNAL OTP IN MY HEART ASDFGHJKL 😍 But I tried to sketch both things in one because, again, time! WHO AM I KIDDING?! TAKE 2 DRAWINGS MORE BECAUSE THEY WORTH IT.

Let me tell you that you have some cute otp Ideas and I LOVE THEM.
Also I love how they look in edo tensei. Even if I think Sasori’s puppet body has its kinky charm I’m such weird (and out there are some very good fanfics on which Deidara describes the taste of the wood while kissing Sasori ♥ I’m SUCH weird). BUT I think the edo tensei is very precious too, I mean those black eyes has also its own charm ♥. Also it have more posibilities, I mean Sasori finally have the eternal body he always wanted, but now he can feel the kisses of Deidara too, and feel the warmth of his skin ♥ and what he can do with those hands ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I’M SUCH WEIRD! IGNORE ME.

Anyway hope you like it, and thank you so much for asking, I love them with my entire heart but I’m not drawing them so much right now so any excuse to do it is more than welcome ♥♥♥

#SHE STRAIGHT UP JUST ASSUMES SIAN IS HITTING ON HER LIKE THAT IS NOT A NORMAL RESPONSE TO ‘hey friend what are you doing tonight?'  #Serena has always been queercoded the writers just didnt realise and then they decided to give her a gf so they had to make it seem like  #Serena has been Straight™ the ENTIRE TIME so there can be TENSION bc her and Bernie after the kiss rather than just OH DANG YEAH LETS GO  #bc lets face it the Serena we originally met who practically gushed at Jac’s cheek bones the Serena who affectioned Collette the Serena who  #quite happily flirted right back at Fleur and frankly loved the attention would have fucking jumped on Bernie if she’d kissed before  #Robbie and Angus i think his name was and espically after the utter shambles that was the reunion w Edward  #bullshit she hasn’t thought about women her whole life  #Serena Campbell: bisexual extraordinaire  #Serena *i will topple over any sweet lookin piece and own their arse w my own amazing existence* Campbell  #Serena *I’ll climb any mountain if they’re hot enough to match my own beauty* Campbell  #Serena *i am shit hot and my hotness will not be contained to one gender this hotness needs to be shared w all the genders *Campbell  #lmao always aware but not out Serena talking to *spent her whole life closeted until Alex* Bernie  #realising that Serena has slept w more women than Bernie  #Bernie being like dude show me A L L  O F  Y O U R  T R I C K S as they rail each other five ways until Sunday  #FUCK MAN this is an au i need in my life now @matildaswan

So, this happened….


Bernie collapsed back on the mattress, panting.  Her aching lungs finally began to draw cool sweet air as she blinked furiously up at the ceiling in an attempt to get her eyes to clear.  A fine sheen of sweat covered her body, glistening in the dim light of the room, aftershocks sporadically twitching through her muscles. She forced herself to unclench her fists, feeling the burn of the half moon marks scored into her palms by her own fingernails, the beginnings of a charley horse flickering in her right calf.  

She swallowed a few times, mouth parched, breathing still ragged and harsh. “I…thought…you said…you’d…never been…with…a woman…before.”  She managed to turn her head an inch to the right.

Serena lay on her side, chin propped on a fist, a quizzical frown marring her brow.  "I never said that.“

Bernie tried to summon an expression of outrage, only managing a vaguely befuddled twitch of the eyebrow.  "You certainly did!”

“I certainly did not, Bernie,” Serena said, one brow raised primly.  “I said that I had never been more than friends with a woman.  That is quite true.”

Bernie eyed her incredulously.  "Then where’d you learn to do,“ she gestured vaguely down her naked, exhausted body, ”that.“

"I went to an all-girls school,” Serena said matter-of-factly.  As if that explained everything.

Bernie chuckled, trailing off into a whimper as her muscles spasmed.  “What, did they teach a course on lesbian sex?”

Serena rolled her eyes.  “Don’t be ridiculous.  But you can’t have that many hormonal adolescent girls in one place without some experimentation taking place.”

Images of a young Serena, wearing a perfectly pressed school uniform, kissing another uniformed girl flashed through Bernie’s mind.  Picturing that wicked look Serena got in her eye as her hand slid up over knee socks, a bare thigh, higher under the pleated plaid skirt…  Bernie squirmed at the unexpected throb between her thighs.

“Serena Campbell, you are full of surprises.”  Serena grinned widely, leaning forward to press a soft kiss against Bernie’s mouth.  

“You don’t know the half of it!”  One of her hands moved to Bernie’s side, trailing down to rest on the curve of her hip.  She pressed closer, nuzzling along Bernie’s neck, breath hot in her ear.

“Now, if you liked that, you’ll love what Sian taught me…”

Parabol + Parabola
Tool
Parabol + Parabola

We barely remember what came before this precious moment,
choosing to be here right now. hold on, stay inside…
this body holding me, reminding me that i am not alone in
this body makes me feel eternal. all this pain is an illusion.

Twirling round with this familiar parable.
spinning, weaving round each new experience.
recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing.
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.
embrace this moment. remember. we are eternal.
all this pain is an illusion.

[mind-blowing instrumentals]

Common Ground

Summary: As the dirt walls of his half-dug foxhole collapse in front of him, Officer Cadet Daniel Howell finds himself face-to-face with another soldier. To make matters worse, this one is wearing a German uniform.

Or:

In which Dan and Phil have a rather unorthodox meeting when their foxholes collide.

A/N: this fic (code name: craig) is an idea i’ve had for quite a while, maybe years, and here it is! finally… always good with some historical aus amiright?? i really really like it and i hope you will too (please i need love) also thanks to bethany for writing in the boob-hand-motion. i guess you’ll have to read it to laugh with us lmao

Genre: Historical (WWI), fluff, humour-ish.
Warnings: Mentions of blood, war themes.
Words: 2371

Keep reading

3

Happy Trans Day of Visibility!

I first started exploring and acknowledging my gender about three years ago, when I was sixteen. I was incredibly unhappy with my pronouns, presentation, name, body… everything felt wrong, and no one had given me permission to try and figure myself out, so I finally decided to give myself permission. It took me quite a while, but I discovered within myself a much happier, more confident person. He was a boy named James, and becoming him has been a struggle that was well worth it.

The first photo here is of me when I was in the first grade. The second is when I first came out, when I was sixteen, and finally started trying out different names, pronouns, and changing the way I looked.

The final one is from now. I’ve finally become secure in the fact that I’m a boy, and figured out what makes me feel most comfortable in my body. I’ve been on testosterone for a year and two months, and I’m saving for top surgery. Things aren’t perfect; my family may never quite understand my identity, and there are still times when I feel lost and alone and alienated by my own body. But those times are far fewer now than when I started.

For anyone who feels confused or hopeless right now, I hope you can see my journey here and know that there is hope. Take your time and trust that things will be clear one day. You will find a way to feel at home with yourself, even if it takes a while. You’ll be alright.

it’s a little raw sometimes,
the way we pick at our wounds 
to keep them open, open, gaping

how we don’t think 
we can make love to anything 
but our own hurt and


when it finally begins to heal,
when we finally hold our hands down,
when the scabs fade to scars
and the scars fade to nothing


we can’t recognize ourself.


this body feels foreign
unless it is dripping blood,
unless ache is pouring out of our mouth.
it doesn’t feel natural.


but it also does not feel right
to start a new wound,
the old one felt so good, hurt so right


it was art.
so what are we now?

—  my ache and I || O.L. 
“I prefer your bed.”

Rough. So rough. He had spent the past hour changing position in his bed. And none was feeling nicer towards his aching body. None could ever felt as comfortable as Isak’s. And this had nothing to do with his mattress or bed sheets. Even if he loved falling asleep to his scent -nuzzling forehead against forehead breathing Isak in as his heartbeat would slow down, sometimes Isak even would gently put his hand over his heart. To assure him that’s where he belonged, and he would not move. Ever. But sometimes he would get up, in the middle of the night, simply to go to the bathroom, or get a glass of water. And even without waking up, Even would sense it. Something was missing. And so, he would unconsciously move over Isak’s pillow and breathe a little deeper. His perfume – he could never get enough of it. This bed, Isak’s bed was the first place he felt comfortable. And safe, oh so safe.

A weight was back over his chest. And that mattress under him felt so hard and cold on his shoulders. It was almost piercing through his shirt.  Even if he had like four or five covers over his body, he still felt so cold. That is what his bed was missing as well. Isak’s warmth, but not just physical, his body against his own. No. Actually, Even would always be the radiator in his bed, making sure Isak’s feet were always cosy while they were spooning. No, what Even was missing was whenever he would shake a bit too much in bed, Isak would caress his arm, making him turn around and he would just adorably put his nose against Even’s, looking at him so intensely, and even through the dark room, Even could feel his eyes reaching straight for his heart. Even if he was overwhelmed by his feelings for that beautiful boy, he would never say it loud. They didn’t need to. It was in every little gesture, in those stupidly cute hearts emoji they would send each other once in a while. It was in those rolling eyes Isak would give him whenever he was trying once again to burst some moves over a cheesy song, right before offering Even his biggest smile and kiss him softly. It was in the way Even would stare at each him whenever surrounded by Isak’s friends, talking about nothing and everything, and Isak would want to focus on the discussion but could not, feeling Even’s gaze on him, looking up and blushing as Even would be grinning. It was when, like tonight, Isak exactly knew what he was afraid of and reassured him without even having to ask. He knew. It’s funny how since he first laid down in that bed, next to him, Even felt that connection between them. Maybe that’s how he never feared what he might reveal between those four walls. How ironic when his own barriers were the reason he had so much trouble breathing at this moment and inside Isak’s ones, he had never felt more free. Everything was escaping his control, but not locked in that bedroom. He was holding Isak so closely, and somehow that was grounding him inside that moment- grounding him in how Isak was feeling. He felt the same. He needed nothing more in that instant than to take in that sweet smile for a few more minutes, before he kiss as many pieces of Isak as he could. Thank you.

It had become home. Or so he thought. He was still feeling more and more cold in his own bed. Until he heard a door being opened. His door. It was dark so he could only see a figure. Who might that be ? He thought he dreamt when seeing something looking like a snapback. Wait, that couldn’t be. Insomnia was just making him delirious. So he tried to close his eyes once again, turning his body towards the wall. But he was still hearing noise, something climbing his ladder. And getting under his sheets. Feeling that familiar embrace. He knew that wasn’t a dream this time. He felt two soft lips brushing his neck and it lifted right away. Whatever was preventing him to breathe, it was gone. Feeling those arms surrounding him from behind, warmth was coming back into his whole body. Those soft lips going a bit lower from his neck to his aching shoulders, as if he knew exactly where the pain was. Finally Even turned back toward him. Isak looking at him, a soft smile on his face, putting his forehead right against his own. Soft. So softly, Even kissed him. Home. He hadn’t found it inside his bedroom no he had found it inside Isak’s arms, inside Isak’s gaze, inside Isak’s smile. Isak was home.

kingcaspiansx  asked:

write a ben imagine where you end up getting in a huge fight & making up. cause duh who doesn't like makeup stories 😉

Dive

Warning: SMUTTY Barnes

A/N: So I took the premise you asked @kingcaspiansx and twisted it. If you like something else more softer and less smuttier let me know – either way I hope you enjoy!


You walked into the town home, the afternoon light making its way into the tight space. You shrugged out of your jacket, still wet from the rain that had begun as you got out of our car and shook it, hanging it on the coat rack next to the door.

“Ben?” you called, following the sounds of the music to his living room. You checked his room, following the long hallway to find that he was nowhere in sight.

You frowned. When you had received his voicemail earlier, he had an urgency in his voice that had worried you. You immediately asked to leave for the rest of the day, citing a family emergency and raced over here.

You walked back into the living room, your eyes resting on a figure sitting outside on the patio. He was sitting in a patio chair, his head thrown back to the sky, eyes closed. Light rain fell on him but he seemed oblivious to it, allowing the wet drops to assault his skin. A cigarette burned slowly in his right hand and you couldn’t help but smile, taking him in.

God he was handsome.

You walked to the patio doors, slowly opening them causing him to open his eyes. The ebony irises fixed on you, taking you in and you felt that familiar aching between your legs. You tried to ignore it as you asked,

“Are you okay? You sounded distracted in your voicemail…”

He watched you, his eyes never leaving your own, before he smirked. He took a long drag of his cigarette, returning his eyes to the LA horizon before he exhaled, a large fume of smoke billowing around him.

“Ben?” you asked again and he got up, putting out the cigarette and moving towards you. His hands pushed lightly on your waist to push you aside but the touch caused you both to inhale your breath, your eyes finding the other quickly. The chemistry was undeniable between you both – it was one of the main reasons you were so attracted to him in the first place. It had been a long time since you had felt that way.  

However, instead of acting on it like he normally did he just stared down at you, trying to read you.

“What’s going on Ben? Don’t tell me I drove all the way over here just for you to ignore me.” You sighed, placing your hands on his arms and he returned to his path to the kitchen, where he began digging in cabinets. Finally he found the bottle of whiskey he had been looking for and grabbed a glass, pouring himself a glass.

He took a drink, his eyes watching you before saying, “Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

You felt your stomach drop. The room became smaller, shrinking in on you and despite still standing in the cool rain you felt hot.

Ben smirked, shaking his head.

“So it’s true. You’ve been fucking me on the side while you were promised to someone else.”

You opened your mouth to say something, anything but all that let out was air. You had royally fucked up and he knew it.

He finished the glass before pouring himself another drink.

“Who is he?” he finally asked and you stepped back into the townhome, closing the door behind you.

“Charles? He’s……a lawyer. He works for my father’s firm.”

“How long have you been together?”

“Since I was 16.”

“Childhood sweethearts?” he spit out and you shook your head.

“I’ve been arranged to marry him ever since I can remember.”

Another sip.

“Tell me everything.” He finally said.

You began your tale about Charles, how you both grew up together. He was the son of your father’s best friend and they had decided long before you both knew what love was that you were to be engaged. Over time he had begun to fall in love with you, having the liberty of dating on the side to make sure that you were what he wanted. You, however, had not.

Until you met Ben. He had changed everything. Changed you.

He watched you while you explained all of this and when you were done, his drink empty, he refilled it shaking his head.

Silence.

You were going to tell him, you just hadn’t known how. He looked at you, his dark eyes bearing into you and you bite your lip. Normally when those eyes were looking at you,  it was the calm before the storm.

Now something else lived there.

“I’m sorry Ben. I didn’t…..I didn’t mean to lie to you…” you started toward the door. He watched you, never moving aside from taking long sips out of his glass, and you tried to fight back the tears threatening to come out.

You were angry with yourself. You had no right to feel the way you did and yet here you were, the deep feeling of heartbreak and loss ripping through you.

You grabbed your jacket off of the coat hanger opening the door, only for it to slam in your face. You turned to find Ben behind you, his right arm planted firmly on the door while his left was pushing your hips against it.

“Why did you cheat on him?” he asked, his face inches from your own and you give a slight shrug.

“I don’t know.” You mumble and he shakes his head, his left hand digging into your skin.

“Tell me the truth. You know.” You stare at him. Of course you knew. Of course he knew you knew.

“Because I’m not happy with him.”

A smirk comes onto his face as he asks another question,

“Why did you choose me to play a part in this game?”

“Choose you? You think I planned on cheating on Charles?” you ask incredulously.

He raises a brow and you shake your head in anger, your fist pounding against him.

“I didn’t plan on cheating on him you ass. I care for him! But one night I go out and see you and the next thing I know we’re fucking in a bathroom. I didn’t want to cheat on my boyfriend. I didn’t plan to fall for you. Or hurt you.”

“But you did! Why did you?” he growls and you roll your eyes,

“You know why. I can’t explain the way I feel when I’m around you. When you touch me. I’ve never felt that way before, not with Charles or anyone. I just wanted to relish in that feeling. It was selfish and I’m sorry for it.”

Admitting it out loud made it sound silly but it was how you felt.

Ben looks down at you before his lips come down on yours. His tongue plays against your lips, begging to enter and you easily oblige, your tongue clashing with his own. You moan, trying to wrap your arms around him but he grabs them, pushing them above your head.

He pulls away, his ebony eyes dark with hatred and lust.

“Were you ever going to break it off with him? Or did you just plan on fucking me until you got bored?”

You didn’t know why he was doing this even though you knew well enough you deserved it.

“I don’t know. I was trying to figure that out.”

“If I asked you to choose now, him or me, who would you choose?” he asks, his fingers trailing down your body with his free hand. You watch him as his hand moves up your dark pencil skirt, finding the bands of your panties and pulling them down.

“I don’t know.” You say again and he shakes his head, a finger pushing inside you and causing you to roll your eyes back in pleasure.

“Yes you do.” He whispers, his mouth inches from your ear. He pushes another finger in you, causing you to moan involuntarily and squirm against him, wanting desperately to draw him to you.

“I’ll ask again. Who would you choose?” his fingers were slowly pumping into you, in and out, and you can’t help but buck against him wanting more of him.

“You know what I think?” he finally says, his dark eyes not looking away from your own. He presses his thumb against your clit, causing you to yelp before increasing the pace of his fingers.

“I bet you’d choose me.” You felt your body shake, needing to release from the torture he was sending you in.

Betraying you because you knew he was right.

“I bet when he fucks you at night, you’re really thinking about me. The way my tongue likes to suck at your delicious pussy. The way you like to cum around my cock.”

His fingers increase their pace and you feel yourself unwinding, the pressure building around you. Ben had never spoken to you like this and you loved it. Even knowing that you had lied to him. You bit your lip again, trying to contain yourself.

“I bet you bite your lip the way you are now, trying not to scream my name. Because you know, and I know, I’m what you want. What you need.” He purred this into your ear as you came all over his fingers, unable to handle it anymore.

He pulled out of you slowly, sucking his fingers, tasting you.

“God you taste so good.” he murmurs before his lips are on you again, his tongue on yours. Needing you.

His mouth moves down to your neck as you make quick work of his pants, pulling them and his briefs down. His erection springs out of their confines openly and your mouth waters at the sight.

You loved him. Everything about him.

His hands hastily move to your blouse, quickly trying to unbutton the silk fabric, exposing your chest to him. His left hand easily unfastens your bra, flicking it off and throwing it over his shoulders as his mouth finds its way to your right breast, taking the large mound of skin in his mouth and sucking you hard.

“Ben…” you moan, yours hands getting lost in his hair as he lifts you, pushing you against the door. His beard tickles against you as he moves to your breast, sucking it until your nipples were taut. He pulled away, looking up at you.

“You have to answer honey. Who would you choose?” he murmurs, his eyes hooded and you feel the tears streaming down your cheek and falling on his face.

“You.” You whisper, cupping his face in your hands. Ashamed at yourself for loving him and knowing that you’ve shattered whatever used to live between the both of you.

“I’d always choose you.”

He had aligned himself at your entrance and pushes into you hearing this, causing you both to moan. Your hands dig in his shoulders as he slams against you, causing wave over wave of pleasure.

“I love you.” You whimper in his ear and he slams into you harder, his hands biting into your ass, moaning loudly as his hips slap against you.

You feel yourself cumming again, your body shaking as the first wave ripples against your body and he stops, watching your body writhe in pleasure. Then, when he’s sure it’s passed, his flicks his thumb over you clit, causing you to yelp involuntarily and slowly starts to fuck you slowly, intentionally, his length slowly entering you.

“Ben….” You whimper his name weakly, knowing he’s close to finding his release and he looks at you, his eyes red from his own tears and he shakes his head.

“Don’t you know I love you too. Love you so damn much.” He whispers before his orgasm consumes him, causing him to groan loudly and fall into the crook of your neck.

You both stay there, pinned to each other, grasping on to something that may already be gone.

Sealed With A Kiss--Imagine #4

Anonymous said: Hello! I ❤ your blog! Could you please write an imagine where your crush secretly likes you and you’ve spent a really long time thinking that he doesn’t bec he never talked before, but then he confesses to you on prom night? Thankyou!!

A/N: Thought this was a really cute idea, especially since who hasn’t dreamed about dancing with their crush and having them gawk at you at prom? I know I def have. Also, I hope you don’t mind the gay glitter I splashed in for good measure. I couldn’t resist. Hope I did your idea justice. Keep dreaming!~Logan


I stared at the side of c/n’s head. His side profile was just as striking as his front profile. I was mesmerized by the way that his eyelashes naturally curled just a bit at the end, most boys had completely straight eyelashes. His eyes were cast down at the desk in front of him, scribbling notes we were supposed to be taking from the whiteboard at the front of the class. I had given up trying to keep concentrated long ago. Besides this class was too boring to follow anyway and I’d end up daydreaming even if c/n wasn’t here (most likely about c/n).

The bell ringing pulled me abruptly out of my reverie. I was pleading with my eyes for a whole forty-five minutes c/n to look at me. To just once notice me. We’d never spoken before, but I swear I watched his every move. Oh god, I was sounding like a stalker. 

I made my way to the hallway, huffing at my unsuccessful attempts to get him to notice me. It had been so long since I started liking him and not once did he seem to notice me in the way I wanted. It was so painful seeing him joke around with other girls. I was envious of them, they took his gaze and presence for granted. Took his attention, his glorious face, fuck, they took his whole existence for granted. And that bothered me to no end.

“Oh boy, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” f/n raised her eyebrows.

“No, I just ended up on the wrong side of the social clique,” I sighed.

“Aww, babe, don’t worry about it. He’ll come around someday,” f/n rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. She knew how big my crush on c/n was and thankfully had mercy on my poor, lovesick heart and was gentle with me.

I glared at the stupid prom poster facing me from the other side of the hallway. It was tonight. I had reluctantly decided to go with f/n since she was so desperate to go. Besides, it would be fun. She had a knack for making any boring thing fun. But secretly, I had been hoping c/n would miraculously wake up one day, realize he had feelings for me, and ask me to prom in the most romantic way possible. 

Alas, none of that happened. 

As me and my friend walked down the hallway to our last class of the day I looked up, feeling a pair of eyes on me. C/n’s eyes were staring back at mine. I almost fell over myself. He looked away and I mentally cursed myself for not having the courage to try and talk to him.

As we walked past, I stole a glance back. 

“You know she doesn’t have a date,” I heard his friend say, as his eyes bored into mine as I walked away. He turned away. 

I was going to make him regret not asking me out tonight. 

————————————————————

“This place is gorgeous!” F/n squealed, gripping my bare arm so hard I thought she’d tear my skin right off.

We were walking through the bedazzled gym. It was set up pretty nicely. But it was already getting stuffy as more teenagers started filling up the dance floor. 

“Geez, mind taking it easy on my arm,” I grumbled. 

“Cheer up, Buttercup! The night is young, you look stunning and the possibilities are endless,” She smiled brightly at me. 

“I just wanna dance. Forget all my worries,” I managed a smile at my beautiful friend. 

“Let’s do it.”

So, that’s what we did. Before long, I had forgotten all about c/n and was lost in the thumping music vibrating through the speakers. F/n had been lost in the sea of crazy, hormone driven, dancing teens, but last I saw she was goofily dancing with another guy. I had no qualms about her being away from me. Instead, I let myself drown in the feeling of other’s arms, legs, backs, and chests pressing against me. I closed my eyes, and felt someone start dancing in sync with my hips from behind. I didn’t really care who it was. This was my night to lose myself. I was looking like a queen, but that didn’t mean I had to act like a proper one. 

Grinding my hips into the mysterious person behind me, the person let their hands rest on my hips, pulling me closer. I opened my eyes.

And there he was. Suit and tie, looking like a real gentleman, dancing spiritedly with everyone else. A vision in the changing lights of the gym. My breath hitched in my throat as our eyes locked. Recognition flashed through his eyes, and I didn’t miss the way his eyes swallowed me up whole, traveling from my ankles back up to my eyes. 

This was my chance to make him sorry for not asking me to the dance. I kept my eye contact with him steady and intense. Putting all the passion of my feelings into my gaze, I tried to convey what I felt for him. How much I wanted to dance with him, feel his fingertips on my hips, not the fingertips of the person that was currently dancing with me. But this was his punishment. I don’t know what came over me, most likely my frustration from him not talking with me or seeing how much I liked him built up from all the months of liking him. But before I could come to my senses, I intensified my dance, grinding and swaying my hips–teasing, mocking him.

He licked his lips, and his body had for the most part stopped moving to the music. 

I turned around meeting a smirking feminine face. Oh god, I was grinding on a girl. Oh well, I really didn’t mind that much.

“Damn, y/n, didn’t take you for one to go for the girls,” one of the girls in my class who was lesbian quirked an eyebrow.

“I didn’t realize,” I laughed. “I did enjoy it though, you’re a good dancer.”

“What can I say? Girls do it better,” she winked, but clearly had enough of my straight ass and moved onto dancing with a girl I know she’d had her eye on for awhile.

“Go get ‘em, Tiger,” I cheered after her. “Maybe I should try girls for a change.”

I felt a calloused hand that felt surprisingly soft also, glide over my bare shoulder from behind. Goosebumps sprang up at his touch, covering the bare skin of my shoulders, arms, and cleavage.

“Boys not interesting enough for you?” a voice whispered huskily into my ear. I shivered involuntarily. I knew that voice, that smell. C/n.

I turned to face him head-on. “No, it’s not that. They just don’t pay attention.”

“Well, I’m paying attention now. Hell, y/n, I’ve always paid attention.”

“Prove it,” I challenged, pressing myself into him. 

His hand smoothly curved over my hip while the other gracefully intertwined out fingers together. They fit perfectly. A slower song floated through the air, and we swayed, but the intensity wasn’t lost between us.

“You love making jokes and hearing people laugh at them, but you always end up laughing at them yourself. You think you were the biggest dork when you were twelve. Your hair constantly annoys you. Your best friend is your rock. You love food and netflix. You waste all your free time on Tumblr. You stare at me way too much for your own good,” He smiled gently. “Not that I’m complaining.”

I was rendered speechless for a moment. 

“Oh, and that dress you’re wearing was made for you,” he leaned in close to my ear, his nose brushing my temple, lips brushing my ear. “You’re absolutely breathtaking. In and out of a prom dress.” 

My eyes widened and I raised my eyebrows, “C/n.” Then his face flushed and he seemed to realize what he’d said. 

“What I meant to say was that whether you’re in a prom dress or just in casual clothes, you’re always breathtaking.” He couldn’t have looked cuter, his blush reaching all the way to the tips of his ears, a sheepish smile gracing his features.

“I’m serious though, y/n. I know I’ve been a coward not telling you how I feel about you, but I’ve noticed a lot about you. But I want to know more, I want to know everything.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” My eyes searched his for lies. I found none.

He brushed a stray hair back behind my ear. Licking his lips, he looked down at my own lips. I could’ve fainted right there if it hadn’t been for his strong, almost desperate grip on me. The passion, love, hunger, and desire clear in his eyes made my stomach churn.

And when his lips finally met mine, I breathed a sigh of relief. My body pushed into his, almost slumping in relaxation as he engulfed me in this tender moment. He slid both hands over my waist and down to my ass, pulling me as close as possible. I gripped his suit jacket in my hands, intensifying the kiss. Our lips molded so well together and I gripped the short hair on the nape of his neck as his tongue slid into my mouth. He groaned at my fingers massaging his scalp with my nails. I never wanted this dreamy moment to end. 

But eventually, we had to pull away. 

“Because I’ve sealed my promise with a kiss. And I don’t play around when it comes to kissing,” He answered my earlier question, lips slightly swollen and tinged with my lip gloss.

“I noticed.”

Cuddle the shit out of you - Part 3

Pairing: Bucky x avenger!reader

Title: Cuddle the shit out of you

Word count: 1906

Warnings: Implied smut, mentions of torture, blood, violence. Fluffy bucky, angry bucky, lovely bucky. 

A/N.: Finally i’m done with the last part of this!!! Hope you like it my dears (lemme know and stuff) ♥ ♥ - Lor.

|| I don’t own Bucky Barnes or any of the avengers. They belong to Marvel. ||

Part 1 || Part 2 || MASTERLIST


When you woke up the next morning the warm feeling of Bucky’s body sleeping at your side made you smile. You kissed his naked chest, right where his metallic arm connected to his flesh and danced your fingers on his skin. The night before, after you two cuddled Bucky made his way down and things got a little bit, way too, heated up. You laughed softly at the memory of how his hands, and his entire body made you feel. You kissed your way up to his chin and lips and he slowly opened his eyes. A smirk across his lips and sleepy voice made you feel weak one again.

“Good morning”

“Good morning doll” he said and peeked your lips. Trailed his hands to your naked body and hugged you tightly by his side.

Keep reading

I Need You

Originally posted by rorgers

Summary: Derek has a terrible nightmare, so you comfort him in the middle of the night, giving him exactly what he needs.

Author’s Note: Yay, this was my own idea, not based off of a request. I’ve been having some nightmares lately, so it was actually kinda comforting to write something like this. Please let me know what you think! Enjoy c:

Warnings: Language; sweet smut

*******************************************************************************************

I groaned inwardly as I felt myself starting to wake up. My body rolled over, trying to find a more comfortable position. I reached out for the warmth that was usually next to me, looking to snuggle into it, but my fingers only met cold sheets. Forcing myself to crack my eyes open, I found the bed empty.

I sat up, wiping the sleep from my eyes as best as I could. Glancing at my phone, it read around 3:30 am. With a yawn, I crawled out from under the covers, my eyes finding what I was looking for in the darkness. My feet gently padded on the floor of the loft, soft thuds the only sound in the night.

“Der?” I asked, my voice quiet and soft as I approached him. He was standing in front of the large window, eyes focused on the stars outside. I pressed myself into his back, my cheek leaning against his shoulder while my arms wrapped around his strong torso. “Another nightmare?” The only answer I received was one of his large hands moving to cover mine that were resting against his toned abdomen. He squeezed gently before running his thumb in small circles across my knuckles.

I’m not sure how long we stood like that, Derek staring out the windows while I hugged him, trying to be of any comfort that I could. Finally, I couldn’t take the silence anymore. I had to say something, needed to hear his voice.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. Derek didn’t respond in any way. With a sigh, I unwrapped myself from his body, moving to stand in front of him. “Hey, look at me.” My hand cupped his rough cheek, tilting his face so his green eyes would mine.

“Y/N..” he whispered, leaning into my touch a bit.

“Was it about the fire again?” My words were almost inaudible, but I knew that he would hear them. Derek’s eyes closed and he took a deep breath, nodding a bit.

“You were there this time,” he said, the husk in his voice made more apparent by his quiet tone. My brows knitted together as I took in the emotion in his voice, the strain behind it. “You were screaming for me to come save you, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t find a way in without being burned. I listened to you dying-” He chocked on the word, his face furrowing at the terrible memory. Tears were forming in my eyes, but I had to be the strong one here. “I couldn’t save you..”

“Hey, it’s alright,” I cooed, pulling him down so his forehead was resting on mine. Derek was taking deep breaths, trying to compose himself. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, Derek.”

“I need…” he started, swallowing hard. Derek’s hands found my hips, gently pushing me back against the windows. I gasped a bit at the cool glass against my warm skin. His body was flush against mine now, trapping me effectively.

“What do you need, Der?” I asked, prompting him to finish his sentence. His lips were centimeters from my own, our breath mingling between us.

“I need you,” he finally said, green eyes snapping open to find mine. I knew what he meant without further explanation. Derek just needed to feel that I was actually there with him, that I was okay. The nightmare must have really rattled him.

Gently cradling his face in my hands, I pulled his lips to mine in a soft kiss. Derek was stiff for a moment, then pulled me impossibly closer, his hips molding to mine as our tongues tasted each other. The heat from his body traveled to mine, enveloping me in a warm feeling. His hands ran down my sides, past my hips, and settled on the back of my thighs, lifting me up effortlessly.

“Derek,” I breathed, tilting my head back against the windows as his lips pressed to my neck, peppering hot kisses all along the column of my throat. My hands threaded through his dark hair, making him hum against my skin. Derek walked us back to the bed, laying me down carefully, his mouth never leaving my body.

My fingers gently lifted the he of his white undershirt, pulling it over his head and discarding the fabric. Derek returned the favor, tugging my pajama shorts down my legs afterward. His hands and his lips were everywhere, raising goosebumps all along my skin. He was looking for any signs of injury, making sure I was alright.

“Baby, I’m fine,” I assured him softly. Derek’s eyes met mine once again as he dragged his lips up my torso until he was kissing me yet again. I ran my hands over the expanse of his muscular back, tracing his tattoo without even having to look at it.

“I’m sorry,” Derek whispered against me, so soft that I almost didn’t hear it. I pulled his face to look at me once again, seeing the sadness behind his eyes.

“Don’t apologize,” I told him. “I’m here. I’m right here. With you.” I looked at his lips again before pulling him in for another kiss. Slowly, my hands moved down his body, tugging at the band on his sweatpants. Derek removed them, leaving him completely bare to me. Pushing him back, I sat up, still facing him, and stood from the bed. He watched with hooded eyes as I slid my panties down my legs, then climbed into his lap. Derek’s hands gripped my  ass while I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He sat back on his haunches, allowing me to settle over him.

“I can’t lose you,” he admitted, nuzzling my neck as one of his hands moved to my bare center, fingers dancing over my folds. I gasped lightly when he pushed in one finger, then another, moving slow. My nails dug into the skin of Derek’s shoulders as I ground against his hand, a warm buzz spreading through me.

“I’m not going anywhere.” With that, I gripped his wrist and removed his hand, positioning myself over top of him and slowly sinking down. Derek let a low moan escape his throat, and I matched it with one of my own. One of his hands splayed wide across the skin of my back, his other holding my hip and guiding my movements. My hips moved back and forth, letting him fill me completely. I held his gaze as we moved together, sweat breaking out on our skin.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he sighed, beginning to thrust up into me as I moved down on him. I couldn’t hold back my gasps of pleasure, biting into his shoulder to try and muffle them.

“Oh, God…Derek,” I moaned, pressing my lips to his. He tangled a hand in my hair,  holding me against him as the pressure in my stomach finally exploded, pleasure coursing through my veins. Derek followed quickly after, groaning into the skin as his fingers bit into my skin. We rode out our highs together, grinding slowly, coming down and trying to catch our breath.

Derek’s eyes bored into my own as we sat, still clinging to each other, before finally detaching ourselves and crawling back under the blankets. He pulled me against him, my cheek laying on his chest so I could hear his heartbeat. We didn’t need to say anything about what had happened tonight. Placing a kiss to Derek’s bare skin, I settled in against him as we drifted back to sleep.

Finally home, heavy-hearted and completely broken. Had so many loving and caring people worried for me and seeing the relief flood their faces when they saw me was immensely powerful.

I don’t feel like I’m in my own body right now and I can’t even imagine what those who were in the immediate area are feeling like.

With each new victim revealed my heart shatters all over again, I wish there had been away to warn them or turn back the clocks and stop it all together.

It’s going to take some time for me to heal I think.

I’ve wanted this tattoo for as long as I can remember. this is the first song I listened to and instantly thought “I need these words tattooed on my skin forever” originally I wanted the lyrics with the starry night behind them. they’re from my favorite song watch the sky by my favorite band, something corporate. “you live the life you’re given with the storms outside somedays all I do is watch the sky” these words and song mean a lot to me. andrew mcmahon wrote them out for me a few weeks ago after seeing him perform the song during an incredible set. he also drew the asterisk in the top right of the tattoo because I had to incorporate jack’s mannequin in this as well. I designed the whole tattoo myself which is so beyond cool. I’m the furthest thing from artistic but I drew the moon on my own! I’m an aquarius so that’s what the constellation at the top is. I got to incorporate a lot into this tattoo and I love that. I’m so happy to finally have andrew’s beautiful words on my body in his handwriting to carry around with me. I feel complete, like this tattoo was always a part of me that I was missing.

Making a Mess

Request:  Hello! Can I request a Jimin smut where you two are rommates (and he has a crush on you, but you don’t know it? And one day he walks on you naked? And if it could be her first, it would be good. Tho, if you don’t write smut and you are uncomfortable with this request, you can tell me and I’ll change my request.

Member: Jimin x Y/N

Type: Smut

I lifted the towel that was haphazardly wrapped around my body and began to wipe the bathroom mirror with the edge of it. As the steam disappeared, brief peeks of my skin appeared in the reflected image. My hair dripped carelessly onto my shoulders and I wiped at it absentmindedly. It had been a day. 

I was late for work, spilled too many cups of coffee onto patrons and myself, and when I got home Jimin had left the kitchen a mess. A single sticky note stood in the middle of the chaos with a handwritten note. “Super sorry Y/N. Don’t touch it! I promise it’ll be taken care of when I get home.” 

Upon my arrival after my shift, the note was still there and there was no JImin scrubbing away at the mess he created. Then again this wasn’t the first time he had done this since we moved in together, so I probably shouldn’t have been surprised. 

Surprised or not, as I tried to scrape burnt pieces of food from our cookware, I was cursing the name Park Jimin. He knew he was in for an ear full. 

Jimin and I had been living together since BigHit had given him the green light that he could abandon the dorms, He was of legal age, had a little bit of money, and put an add on the internet to advertise a room for rent in his new apartment. When I appeared in his doorway to answer the add, I had left him a flustered heap, but I came bearing cash and that was what mattered. 

I looked down to my nails and grimaced as I had seen I didn’t get all of the burnt food particles out from underneath them. Oh, Jimin was sure to pay. 

I slowly eased open the bathroom door and was greeted by the sound of the television blasting what ever video game he was playing. I quietly padded down the hallway and entered my bedroom, slowly shutting the door behind me. As soon as I got pants on, I would utilize the element of surprise and spring an attack on -

“Park Jimin!” I screeched, trying to quickly pull the towel I had dropped up and back around my body. 

He stood motionless in my door, eyes wide as he took in my naked form. I squirmed, picking up the towel and wrapping it back around me. 

“What the hell!” I yelled. 

Jimin looked mystified as he stood in front of me, his cheeks pink, but biting his lip.  

“Hello!” I screamed. “Jimin, I am talking to you.”

He blinked hard a few times and shook his head, finally bringing his gaze back to my face. I noticed the corners of his mouth twitching, trying not to form a smirk. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I was naked!” I gasped. “Very, very naked!”

“I…I know,” Jimin nodded, not letting his eyes leave mine. He began walking toward me, crossing the room with small steps. He seemed nervous, but tried to put forth an air of confidence with his motions. He rested his hand lightly on my arm and looked down, before moving his face up again to whisper. “I heard the shower turn off…and I thought…I thought maybe I could make it up to you? The mess that I made?”

I twitched, drawing my eyebrows together in thought as I stared back at him. He was shy, but oozed sexiness. 

“And how,” I stuttered. “Do you plan on doing that?”

Jimin looked down to my towel and bit his lip. “Well Y/N…I don’t know if you’ve noticed…but I like you. I like you a lot.”

My eyes grew wide as I shook my head. I knew Jimin became flustered around women sometimes, but I had always assumed it was because he didn’t date much because of the group. I didn’t know the reason for that was because of me. I blinked a few times trying to get the thought into my head that he liked me. This boy, this man, who girls screamed over on stage, who fell all over him. This guy I had evaluated as being the biggest squish in the whole world, while simultaneously being the sexiest one I knew. 

Jimin slowly lifted his opposite hand up and tugged at the hand that held onto the towel wrapped around me tightly. His eyes flickered up again to mine as he took the hand in his, therefore slowly letting loose of the towel’s grip. The towel dropped at our feet as I stood unclothed, more open and vulnerable than I had ever been. 

I was waiting to hear his laughter at any moment, insisting it was all a cruel joke. 

Instead I was met with a heated gaze from him. He remained completely quiet as his eyes drifted from my legs, up my torso, stopping every now and again. He drank me in, occasionally biting his lip before his eyes once again rested on my face. 

He nodded, taking the short half step towards me and placing his hand on my neck, pulling my face towards his face. I hesitated a moment, letting my face stop just before our lips touched. We made eye contact before his lips crashed against mine, needy, wanting. He kissed me like I was the first glass of water he had seen in a dessert. His lips worked slowly, but meticulously on mine. His tongue slowly snuck out, gaining entrance to my mouth. It quickly reverted back in, for his teeth to move forward and bite my bottom lip, sucking it towards his. 

I groaned with his action and he let go, chuckling lightly. He let a light kiss trail on my chin and across my jaw line. Going back towards my ear, he turned the direction of his kisses and began down my neck, biting and sucking as he went. He stopped on the crook of my neck and began to bite harder, giving light kisses every time a gasp escaped from my mouth. He finally halted after sufficiently leaving his mark and began putting small kisses on my collar bone. 

I sighed in complete contentment, trying to ignore the fire that had lit in my stomach with his actions. I tugged impatiently at his white t shirt and he laughed again, his chuckle sounding like a bell. He backed up a moment, pulling off his shirt and pulling me into his arms again. I looked down, making note of his beautiful, tanned skin and toned chest and stomach. I never realized this was what I wanted to see until it was in front of me. He smiled, watching me watch him. He began to tug at his belt, pulling it swiftly with one movement and beginning to unbuckle his jeans. He kicked them off relatively quickly and placed his hands on my hips, walking me backwards towards my bed.

I was suddenly over come with a new set of butterflies. I had never gone much farther than fumbling in the dark with a boy. I was anything but experienced. 

“Jimin,” I breathed heavily as he pushed me toward the mattress. “I…I’ve never done this before.”

He looked over me for a moment and leaned into my ear. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Now I never said that. 

I looked to his face and grabbed his neck, signaling him to hover over me. He nodded, as I pulled myself further up on the bed and he crouched above me. “I’ll take care of you,” he whispered sweetly. “Trust me.”

I nodded again as he leaned down, attaching himself to my neck again. His hands roamed my body, finally finding a place on one of my breasts. He leaned down, taking my exposed nipple into his mouth as he sucked lightly. I let out a moan and ran a hand through his hair. I could feel his smile against my skin as he pulled his mouth from my breast and began to lick down my abdomen. I winced as I waited yet again for him to pop up and admit this was all a joke, but he continued down my body, stopping right before my slit. He looked up at me, his eyes shining as his head dipped down and I felt his tongue enter my folds. He began to flick his tongue around my clit and I moaned, completely overtaken by the new feeling. My hand laced into Jimin’s black hair. 

“Jimin,” I cried. He flicked his tongue around even quicker at the sound of his own name. I felt a pressure begin to build in the bottom of my stomach. It felt like I had an itch begging to be scratched that finally was getting some attention. My lower half began to tingle and I groaned, bucking into Jimin’s face. He pulled his head up, his lips shining from the juices escaping my body. 

“Hold on babygirl,” he whispered, pulling down his underwear to expose his throbbing member. He leaned closer to my ear and sighed. 

“This is going to hurt a little bit,” he whispered. “Let me know if you need me to stop.”

I nodded, cringing. I didn’t like disclaimers when he had already made me feel so good. 

Slowly but surely I felt the Jimin’s tip sit at my slit. I wanted for him so bad to enter me as I excitedly bucked into him. He chuckled. “Be patient.”

I nodded again. He pulled my legs to hitch up on either side of him and slowly began to slide into me. I felt the pain almost immediately, but it wasn’t something that I couldn’t handle. The pressure grew until finally he was all the way into me. 

He looked at me with stalled breaths, waiting. I nodded, urging him to continue. Slowly, but surely he began to pump into me. He went along gently as the pain started to dissipate and was replaced by an entirely new feeling. My lower abdomen was in a flurry, already near what I imagined was my orgasm. 

“Jimin,” I breathed. “Faster.”

He smiled, biting his lip and leaning forward to take a breast in one of his hands for leverage. He rocked back and forth into me, quickening his pace, but at an angle to where I could hardly feel his motion. With every pump, he hit my sweet spot, inspiring a new moan. 

‘Fuck,” I chirped. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“What?” he asked, his eyes wide as he stalled. 

“No, keep going,” I called. “I’m about to…about to…”

I felt my stomach begin to flutter again and I arched my back, completely lost in the moment. 

“You feel so good,” Jimin groaned, becoming rougher in his movements. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Jimin,” I called feeling my orgasm roll through me. I arched my back and let it rock through me, causing me to spasm. 

Jimin’s eyes closed tight as he quickly pulled from my body and squirted his seed to cover my stomach. I looked down, surprised by the warm liquid now covering me. 

“Ha,” Jimin said sheepishly. he raked a hand on the back of his neck and quickly moved from the bed. He grabbed my towel from the floor and began to wipe gently at my stomach. “Sorry.”

I smiled, still lost in the feeling. Jimin finished cleaning me off and plopped beside me. “I made a mess,” he whispered. 

“But the most important part is you always make it up to me,” I chuckled, nuzzling my face into his neck. “So maybe I might like your messes.”

Originally posted by baebsaes