PLEASE READ THIS
For the past two days, I have spent my entire time glued to my phone helping somebody who was once a stranger to me. Two days ago, a stranger privately messaged me saying that she wanted some help. I’m not going to go into her details, but something traumatic had happened and she hadn’t felt the need to breathe no longer. So, I stopped writing and postponed the fics that needed to be uploaded, and I spoke to her all day and all night. It took two whole days to convince her that her life was worthy and I do not regret a single second of it. I saved a life and it makes me so damn happy.
The point of this whole thing is to remind you that you are NOT alone and that I am ALWAYS here to speak to. Suicide isn’t something I like and it’s a tough subject for me to deal with, but I’ll push through my trauma just to make sure you’re okay.
As most of you know (if you have been following me for the ten months), it has taken me nearly five months to return to daily activities after losing my best friend to suicide in early November last year. It had hurt more than I thought it would when I found out because in early January last year I had lost my only cousin to suicide and my best friend promised me he wouldn’t leave me that way. I had only just returned to daily activities before losing him, too. Now, I’m just a clueless mess on where to start living with my life. Nothing has been the same without the two of them bugging me constantly.
If you think that killing yourself is the only way to end all the pain you feel—let me remind you that it isn’t the only way. If you ever went through with that, all that pain you feel will drift into those who love and care for you and let me tell you know, that pain it is not the best. If you ever contemplate it, please message me. I wouldn’t want to lose another precious soul who belonged on this Earth. You are worthy of every breath you take. You are worthy of your existence. You are loved and you are cared for. You’re a beautiful person and you shouldn’t allow that to become nothing.
Talk to me about anything—anything that is troubling you, anything that is hurting you, anything that is harming your life—just message me and I’ll be there to listen to you. Heck, I’ll freaking facetime you just to make sure you are okay and I’ll stay up all night to make sure that you stay okay. You are strong and you are capable of living. You matter in this world and there is someone out there who is waiting for your existence to be present in their life. That person is me. I love you and I don’t want you to leave this world behind. I want you to stay and be strong and hold your head up and ignore the negativity. I believe that you can make it. I’ll help guide you through hell, even if it means I have to open old wounds just to help you find your light. I’ll crawl through Hell over and over again just to get you all to safety.
So put down that gun, get rid of the rope, throw away those pills, flush down that blade, step away from the edge of the highest building, walk away from that bridge and turn off that stove. Whatever way you are choosing to end your life, get away from it.
Please, I’m begging you. Don’t throw your life away just because there’s bad in it. Keep breathing and keep crawling and you’ll find something good. This is coming from someone who has lost two amazing people to suicide and who has thought about it and suffers from depression herself. You matter to me and to the world.
Keep living. Keep breathing. Stay alive.
There’s good coming your way, just be patient, honeybee. I love you so much.
Remember; message me whenever you want. I am always here to listen and to help you. 💖