i felt the change was necessary

        Transgender Day of Visibility is an important and vital day to celebrate those of us who are living as our authentic selves.  We can stand united in pride rather than shame and show the world our strength through our vulnerability.  As Laverne Cox said, “It is revolutionary for any trans person to choose to be seen and visible in a world that tells us we shouldn’t exist.”  As our community gains more visibility, the hate and misunderstanding of who we are becomes more visible as well.  Murder rates and hate crimes against our community, especially trans women of color, have risen each year.  Rejection from friends and family often leads to homelessness.  Children face bullying, harassment, and high suicide rates.  Many of us experience workplace discrimination, live well beyond the poverty level, and we can still legally be fired in 32 states simply because we are transgender.  Lawmakers are introducing one bill after another that marginalize and attempt to exclude us from society.  Now, more than ever, visibility is necessary to help change hearts and minds.  


        I remember when my parents bought a computer and set up an internet connection when I was in Jr. High.  I was finally able to research why I felt like a girl trapped in a boy’s body.  I learned about the term transgender and that I wasn’t alone.  For the first time, I no longer felt like a freak or outsider.  I gained hope and strength through the stories of those who had chosen to be visible.  However, I still lived in fear of what my family and friends would think.  Suicide was a constant thought in my mind because I was tired of pretending to be who I wasn’t meant to be.  Societal norms and expectations weighed me down and I became an introvert.  I fought who I was and lived in shame and fear until I was 29.  I had been married for 7 years and when that ended I was broken and defeated.  In my mind, I had two options, suicide or transition because I could no longer go through the motions and pretend to be happy.  


         Five years ago, I chose transition over suicide and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.  Even though I lost friends and family who disagreed with who I am, I gained so much more.  Truly loving myself for the first time allowed me to connect with others like I had never been able to before.  I was finally happy and free!  I chose to document my transition online and share my story with the world because I knew how important visibility was for others who were going through similar struggles.  This gave me the opportunity to inspire and encourage people to live their lives authentically and to love who they are.  The response I received was amazing and, in turn, it gave me the courage and confidence I needed to be more visible offline.  I began sharing my story with almost everyone and the friendships I developed have been rewarding and eye opening.  


          Over the years, I have been asked why I do not move past saying I am transgender and live my life as a woman.  My response, is that visibility is vital and I am proud of who I am.  To me, the term transgender doesn’t define my gender identity, it defines how hard I have fought to be the woman I am today.  Sharing our stories and our struggles truly opens hearts and minds to change and acceptance.  I have learned that most people, when given the chance, do not care about labels.  They care about the person that is front of them and the connection that is developed.  I’m thankful for a day that celebrates who I am despite the fear and hate directed at us but we need to celebrate who we are every day.  Life is a gift and can truly be amazing if you allow yourself to love who you are with unapologetic authenticity.  Together we can make a difference in this world and slowly we will make it a safer, better place for those following in our footsteps.  

lockdown (jimin fic).

wow so i haven’t put anything out in fOrEver i am so so so sorry!! eonni is v rusty but i saw this prompt on pinterest and my brain went wild, i hope you enjoy it. feedback would be greatly appreciated!

elements: i tried my hand at suspense but you tell me whether or not i have succeeded please

description: the doors have suddenly locked and now you’re trapped alone at school with jimin…

word count: 3,539

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I often imagine what I would do if I could go back in time to the moment it all began; back to that fateful day we started the conversation that led into friendship and then grew into love.
If such a thing were possible, the message I would give myself may surprise you. I would not tell my eyes to avoid your smile or my feet to turn around and run like hell, because despite it all I love you still… even after all these years of heartbreak and sadness.
No, I think that if I could give myself any message in that moment, I would simply whisper; “Brace yourself honey, because this is the moment your life changes forever. You will fall in love with this man and it will be unlike any love you have ever felt before. You will not have him forever, so love him enough for a lifetime with the limited time that you have. Every day will be a gift and it will hurt when it’s over but it is a necessary hurt because in a strange kind of way this man will save you… So take a step forward and fall in love with him. He’ll love you, he’ll break you and you’ll never go back together the same way again, but in a strange kind of way… you’ll be better for it.”….
No Matter What

Author: @dylan-trash-tbh

 Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Words:5295

 A/N: I’m actually kind of proud of this 🙈 Let me know what you think! 

A huge thank you, to my favorite co-pilot Em @fillthevoid-stilinski, for editing again 💖 

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by procrastinationoutlet

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Just That Simple - Shed Your Skin Part 4

Originally posted by eh-just-join-the-fandom-fam

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

A/N: Not my favourite thing I’ve ever written but it’s alright. If y’all don’t hate it too much I have an idea for part 5, I literally have no idea how this ended up so long it started out as two parts. 

Summary: Meeting the friends for the first time is always nerve wracking, even for a hardened gang member.

Word Count: 3,419

Warnings: Knives, swearing, gang mentions and I think that’s it.

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Here’s a happy customer story! Today I was working in my store’s photo department and a woman with like an 800+ print order felt bad for “all the work I was doing” (pressing print and changing the paper when necessary???) so she literally went to the bar down the block and bought me a burger!! It made my day, especially in the middle of an 8.5 hour shift directly after my 5 hour long summer class

mrcringe203  asked:

Hey, I love your blog very much. UnderSwap is my favorite AU and I love your interpretation of it. That being said, I know this has to do with UnderSwap but what is your opinion of Undertale Asgore? I mean the feeling I get from most fans is basically Toriels viewpoint on it. But personally he was just trying to do what was right for his kingdom. I feel like he needs more love.

Oh dear, you just hit my weakest weakness. I can’t let an oportunity for some good ol’ character analysis pass. My preemptive apologies for the size of what lies ahead, if anybody wants to skip it it would be completely understandable. Also if you’re here for the Underswap and want nothing but Underswap you can skip this too, since this is a canon-heavy post and probably something that has been said a million times already.

Ok, ready? Let’s go.

Let me start by saying that I absolutely love Asgore (we both do). He is a wonderfully complex and credible and, at least on my opinion, one of the most relatable characters in the whole game. You go the whole game hearing about him from other characters, both in a positive and negative light, and by the time you actually come face to face with him a lot of players have already made an image in their head of who Asgore is. That makes him so interesting for me, because just like in everyday’s life, our opinion about the people we don’t know is shaped by the opinion of those who we do know and care about. A lot of players care about Toriel and trust her, so they trust her opinion that Asgore is in the wrong, but a lot of players care about Undyne and Papyrus too, and they say Asgore is good so how can you not believe them? Unlike other characters who you can easily categorize into “good” and “meh” (because there are almost no “evil” characters in Undertale”), Asgore walks a pretty thin line between love and hate depending on the moral values you as a player have, and how much would you be willing to forgive.

But alright, who is Asgore then?

Asgore is a nice person, you can’t deny that. He’s kind and caring about the needs of others, he loves his family (or the memory of them), treats other with the outmost respect (even a baby Undyne attacking him for no good reason), and goes out of his way to do things for the benefit of his people (what kind of king would dress up as Santa and personally visit his subjects just to bring them joy? WHO DOES THAT? Certanly not our Toriel, she has people who do that job for her). He’s emotional and sensitive, prone to take bad desitions when under stress, and then quickly regrets and blames nobody but himself for the results. He’s a big, fluffy, sensible monsters with a kind and caring soul.

But, he also has very defined flaws. One, namely: he is a coward.

Now, you may believe that Asgore’s actions were solely for the good of his people, and you are entitled to your opinion too, but it looks to me that the force behind most of his actions was not a sense of selfless sacrifice, but fear. Asgore was willing to endure emotional pain and even lose the love of his life in order to keep the hope of their people alive, yes, but you have to consider that at the moment he took that desition, keeping up his promise of war was the easy way out. He was scared, once the words were out and monsters had a visible positive reaction about the whole thing, that if he were to go back on his word he wouldn’t be able to give his people anything that could replace it. Even when he regreted his choice, and even when Toriel loudly dissaproved, bearing the weight of that declaration and sticking to the plan was still infinitely easier than facing the consecuences of his explosion of anger and trying to find an alternative that felt right and could fail. His was not the sacrifice of a leader who did what needed to be done at the cost of his happiness, but of a broken father who lost control after being overwhelmed by his loss and was too afraid to change the way things seemed to patch themselves up.


When they finally see each other in the pacifist ending, Toriel pretty much spells it out:

And some may think this means Toriel is actually ok with the idea of killing humans, but not with killing them if it’s not absolutely necessary, and I respectfully disagree: She is still very much against killing people for any reason. What she was trying to say to Asgore is a lot more direct: “You lied to everybody, and to yourself, because you were too scared to face the full impact of your mistake”. And Asgore agrees with her. Were if not for his unplanned declaration of war, he never had the intention of leaving the Underground in the first place, and Gerson tells you just that in the genocide run:

Asgore didn’t want to lead his people to an unavoidable end in the surface, and he didn’t want to have to kill children for it, but he also didn’t want to take away the hope that his declaration unadvertedly provoqued and believed he wouldn’t be able to provide his people with a better alternative. His cowardice was what kept him indecisive and stopped him from commiting to any path, leaving him as Toriel said, “meekly hoping” that he would never be forced to choose.

And THAT is exactly why I love him so much: He is the embodiment of dichotomy, his inner conflict is majestic, and his flaws are real and relatable. Who has never gone through a situation in which they were trapped between a rock and a hard place, hating the situation but too afraid to try to do something and make things worse? Asgore goes through this and reacts in such a (ironically) human way to it. He bears his guilt and his fear but keeps going, not because he wants to, but because a whole race is expecting him to, because the will of his people pushes him in that direction and he is afraid of what may happen if he pushes back. “King Asgore will let us go” “King Asgore will give us hope” “KING ASGORE WILL SAVE US ALL”. How many times did those words go through his head again and again while he fought and killed those children? Did they give him strengh, or did he feel like a man drowning under them?

But… all the empathy in the world can’t change the fact that he still killed those kids. “Cool motive, still murder” applies to everybody no matter the circumstances, and even though I myself can forgive his actions, that doesn’t mean everybody can, or should. As I said, the way you as a player see Asgore depends on your morality, on what you place more importance to, and in how much you are willing to forgive. There are people who can relate to being overwhelmed by a situation that seems out of your control, and they will be more inclined to take Asgore’s side. But there are also people with a strong sense of morality, who they themselves would die rather than going down a path they know is wrong and they don’t believe in, and those people, like Toriel, would find it a lot harder to give Asgore a second chance, because that’s who they are… and that, my friend, is perfectly understandable too. Forgiveness is a gift, not an obligation.

… And that’s it, because this wall of text is HUGE just with Asgore alone. I wanted to say more about his relationship with Toriel, why I think she would never be able to fully forgive him, and talk a bit about HER flaws too (since she’s my favorite character and I have her flaws more present than anybody’s else). I also wanted to talk about how this traslates to our version of Underswap since this is still an Underswap blog but… seriously, these are a lot of words already.

Maybe later, if you guys are not bored of me talking by then.

- Poisond

Undeniable Heat Chapter 35: Back Home

Jensen Ackles x Reader

1150 Words

Story Summary: You’ve just gotten a job as one of the makeup artists on the set of Supernatural. Nervous on the first day, you become completely awkward, winning the affection of the divorced Jensen Ackles. You try to fight your desire for him, but he thwarts you at every turn. Will you be able you separate work and play, or will you let Jensen win?

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

Giving Gen one more hug, you pulled back, amazed to find tears clouding your vision at the thought of leaving your new friend behind. During the short time you had been a guest in their house you had become close friends, and you weren’t ready to leave her yet. Gen had been there when you had needed a shoulder, giving you smart advice you wouldn’t have gotten anywhere else.

“Y/N, it’s time to go.” Jensen said from beside you, his hand slipping over yours, gently squeezing.

“The boys and I will be up in about a month. And you’re more than welcome to come down here again. Anytime. A room will always be made up for you.” Gen promised, her hand on the stroller where her two boys were sitting. Jared was standing behind her, one hand on her shoulder as he leaned down to kiss his wife goodbye. Giving them their privacy, you turned to Jensen. He pulled you into his side, throwing both of your bags over his other shoulder.

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Music Series: When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars

Aww, Harry’s so sweet! I loved writing my stories tonight. Sometimes I really feel them and those are the ones that I don’t care as much if anyone else loves them or doesn’t, because I do.

This story was written from Bruno Mars’ song, “When I Was Your Man”. Bruno has such great songs, and perfect for Harry stories. I cheer for Harry and the girl he is always in these scenarios with! Is that weird? I love them and it makes me happy!

Here is a link to this song on my Spotify playlist called “Gloomy Poops”…this is a new playlist that I just added, so please give me time to add more songs. I need to get to sleep for tonight, but I promise I’ll work on it this week!: https://open.spotify.com/track/0nJW01T7XtvILxQgC5J7Wh

Enjoy, Lovies! xo

Shelli

*************************

“Baby, I’m home!” Harry shouts as he walks into the home you share. He walks in and peeks into a couple of rooms looking for you but doesn’t see you. “Love?” He walks into the bedroom, then to the master bath, and notices some of your things that are usually there are missing. He walks back into the bedroom, opening the closet door, and sees all of your clothes and shoes are gone. “Oh, baby, no…”

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same

When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down

‘Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

You sat in the hotel room, quiet and alone. Sadness consumes you. You hated leaving Harry, but things had changed so much in your relationship over the few years you were together, you felt it was time. He wasn’t the same. He used to practically put you on a pedestal, which wasn’t necessary, but was part of the charm that had won you over. Always thinking of you, keeping you a part of his life.

As you lay in bed, unable to sleep, you see the light on your phone light up with a call. Looking at the screen, you see Harry’s name at the top with the photo you used of him for his contact photo. He must be home now, you thought. He knows. You stare at the screen, then a moment later, see the notification that you had a voicemail. You just couldn’t. You didn’t want to hear his voice. You knew he would be hurt that you left, or would he? Maybe it would be a relief to him.

Call after call, voicemail after voicemail, text after text. Finally, after dozens and dozens of calls, you gain the courage to listen to a voicemail.

‘Baby, where are you? Please, call me! We have to talk! You can’t just leave me, babe. We love each other! Please, baby, please call me.’

You sob into your hands, listening to voicemail after voicemail. You listen as his messages circle through the stages of grief. Beginning with panic, he quickly fell into the denial.

No, I don’t accept this, love. I know I’ve not been around much, but…you knew this is my life. We’ve been together a long…’ he says as the voicemail cuts him off. The messages quickly move to anger then negotiation.

‘Baby, please. I’ll come get you so we can talk. I…I’ll do anything, love, anything. Just please, don’t do this…’

You hear him sniff and cry into the phone as the messages change in emotion again. ‘Sweetheart…I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, please. I love you. Please don’t do this. Please…’

Too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers, and held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours, when I had the chance

Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby’s dancing, but she’s dancing with another man

A couple of weeks passed and Harry hadn’t seen you or talked to you. He was worried about you, not knowing where you were, and left messages, begging you to let him know you were okay. You couldn’t bring yourself to call him. That damn charm of his. You knew yourself and him well enough to know that, if you talked to him, he would persuade you somehow to meet with him and talk, and you weren’t ready for that. You remembered how he could be…how he was for most of your relationship together.

On your first date together, Harry arrived at your door with a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers. Every week for years after, he would bring you another bouquet…always of wildflowers, being your favorite. He also loved to be touching you. Whether his arm around you, his hand holding yours, his arm around you as you both slept, his hand on your leg as you drove somewhere together…he loved the nearness of you.

But, as his life became hectic again with the success of his solo career, and the upcoming news of One Direction reuniting for a spell, Harry had changed. It was common for a person in his position to let the success go to his head, you just didn’t think it would happen with Harry. He was so down-to-earth and humble. You didn’t understand how that had changed, but it had.

You sent him a text that simply read, ‘I’m okay. No worries.’

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways

Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh

And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

Harry had become so consumed in his work and the rest of his life, that he had made his relationship with you less of a priority. You understood that he stayed busy. You were always okay with, and accepting, of that. It was his job, after all. But little things began mounting that were wearing you down. Not calling you to let you know he wouldn’t be home, that he was going to a party…for business, of course. Or spending the day shopping, not asking if you would have liked to come along, then bragging about all of his purchases and talking endlessly about his day, not even asking about yours.

But the worst was the day that became the last straw. You were surprised when he didn’t mention it was your birthday first thing off that morning, but you knew he had a lot to do that day, so you let it go. Then no phone call or texts all day, apologizing for not saying anything that morning. Finally when he came home late that night, you were at least expecting a last minute apology, or a gift…but there was nothing. And what hurt the most was the fact that his plans that evening had been attending the birthday bash of another celebrity. You were heartbroken.

Too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers, and held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours, when I had the chance

Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby’s dancing, but she’s dancing with another man

Harry sat alone in his home, no tv on, no music playing, just sitting and thinking. Occasionally he would think of a line for a lyric and jot it down, but that’s how emotions worked. Some of the best songs were written during times of sadness and misery.

He stared at the screen of his phone as he looked at photos of you and him together. Photos from the last rainy day that you spent lazing around the house together. Photos of your last holiday you took, spending a week on a secluded beach. Photos of you and he at his family Christmas gathering. Harry knew he fucked up.

He knew you were ‘the one’. He knew you were the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and he made selfish choices and lost you. He beat himself up over it every day as he surrounded himself with loneliness, and every night as he lay in the bed he used to share with you. He hadn’t had the strength to wash your pillowcase, afraid of it losing the scent of you.

In a moment of desperation, Harry called your best friend, begging her one final time to tell him where you were.

Although it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong

Oh, I know I’m probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

You finished getting ready for the event your date had invited you to. A friend had begged that you attend with her cousin, who needed a date, and after telling her no a few times, you finally caved and agreed, hoping she would leave you alone after that.

You looked at yourself in the full-length mirror, examining your body to make sure you looked good enough for such a gathering. As you looked at your reflection, you remembered you were wearing Harry’s favorite dress on you. He had even bought your shoes for you as a surprise, saying they would be the perfect shoes to adorn such lovely feet in such a beautiful dress. You were going to wear your hair down, then remembered Harry preferred it up in that dress, and without really thinking hard on it, quickly pulled your hair up and walked to the door after hearing the bell.

I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand

Give you all his hours, when he has the chance

Take you to every party, ’Cause I remember how much you loved to dance

Do all the things I should have done, when I was your man

Do all the things I should have done, when I was your man

As you walk into the party, your date walks off, talking to others he knows. At first you thought it rude, but after experiencing his dull personality on the drive there, you were relieved. After a miserable evening, you finally excused yourself from the party, telling your date you needed to leave, and not to bother, you would take a cab.

Exiting the elevator, you reached your floor and turned to walk toward your door. As you rounded the corner by your room, you stopped dead in your tracks and looked at the figure sitting on the floor in front of your door.

Harry quickly stood, looking at you, seeing how beautiful you were in his favorite dress, unable to speak. He missed you, and it was the first time he’d seen you since you left.

You looked at him nervously, licking your lips, feeling your heart racing. Before you could speak, Harry bends down and picks up something from the floor.

“Wildflowers,” you say, breathlessly as he holds them out to you. You see a tear fall from Harry’s eye and feel him take your hand in his. He stands closer to you. You see his pulse beating rapidly beneath the skin on his neck.

“Please…can we talk? I’ll do anything for you, love. Anything, just…give me another chance.”

One Hell of A Dare 1 // Montgomery De La Cruz x Reader

CHAPTER 1
So, before the story starts I just wanted to say that the ‘Montgomery’ here is a little bit different from the Monty we saw on 13 reasons why. He’s not a really good friend with the jocks.
Word count : 776
You’re walking to your locker as you feel someone touching your shoulder. You turned your head to see who it was. It was Montgomery, your boyfriend. The two of you had a few classes together back then and that’s why you became close with him and you’re with him for almost a year now.
“Hey babe” Monty said while walking beside you.
“Hey” You replied as you opened your locker and put books inside. Monty stayed silent which made you curious. He’s never been like this before. Monty always talks about how his day was and he just can’t stop talking and that is why you’re in love with him.
From the corner of your eye, you saw Monty leaning against the lockers on your left.
“What’s with the face?”, You asked when you see Monty’s expression. You know he’s clearly waiting for you to say something but you just can’t figure out what it is to talk about.
“You.. don’t remember?” Monty stared at you.
“Remember what?”
“Seriously (Y/N)??” now Monty has that upset face you always think it’s kinda cute.
“Babe, what is it? I know there’s something but I can’t remember”
“Party? Tonight? At Bryce’s?” Monty stands straight, looking right into your eyes.
“Oh the party. Umm I don’t know, babe. I don’t feel like partying tonight” You answered while looking somewhere else trying to avoid his eyes.
Monty is now full of confusion, “I thought you were looking forward to it?”
“Yeah, I was. But this assignment Mrs. B gave me is due tomorrow and I haven’t done anything. Plus this past week got me so tired already. I’m really sorry, Monty” You complained
“Oh.. Okay I totally understand” Monty’s reaction makes you feel very guilty.
“I’m so sorry, babe. I really wish I could make it up to you?” You’re pouting while walking to your next class.
“It’s fine, babygirl. I understand. In fact, I’m willing to help you with the assignments! How about Monet’s after Geometry?”
You’re so relieved to the fact that your boyfriend wasn’t mad at all. You continue to walk down the hallway to your Geometry class and Monty still beside you.
“Really? The Liberty High baseball star is going to help me with homeworks? How cool is that. Thank you so much, babe. I can’t describe how lucky I am” You answered with cheeky grin. You know you can’t ask for more. Having Monty by your side is the best thing that happened in your life.
“I’ll see you later, yeah?”

—–
You arrived at Monet’s with Monty and picked a spot right next to the window. You’ve always loved it there.
As soon as you dropped your things, both of you walked to the cashier. You felt comfortable when Monty holds your hand.
“Hi, how are you guys doing? What can I get you?”
“Hi, yeah I’ll have Americano and Iced Frappuccino for my girlfriend here” he smiled, still holding your hand.
“I don’t think mentioning ‘my girlfriend’ was necessary” you chuckled
“Sorry. I just.. I feel so proud to have you and I’d like people to know that you’re mine” Monty couldn’t help but smile the whole conversation.
Even though it’s almost a year with him, he still made it feel like it was just yesterday when he asked you to be his girlfriend. Nothing’s changed and you’re so grateful for it.

—–
It was already 5pm when you look at your phone. Mrs. B’s homework clearly made you lose track of time.
Halfway through your assignments, you saw Monty getting a text from Bryce. You asked him what it is about but Monty said it was nothing.
You had a feeling it’s about the party he mentioned earlier today.
“(Y/N), I know you’re not going to the party tonight but Bryce kept asking me to go. I told him no but you know how Bryce is, right?”
“Monty, if you wanna go to the party then go. I don’t mind, really. Besides, you’ve done enough for me today.” You answered with a smile on your face.
“No, babygirl. I’m not going to the party without you.”
“It’s fine, babe. If Bryce kept asking you, maybe just show up there, and you can leave the next hour. How does that sound? Then you can come to my house?” you’re clearly trying to make Monty feel less guilty leaving you at home because you want him to have fun with his friends.
“Okay. An hour and I’m done there babe” Monty answered as he come close to you and kiss your forehead.
“Now let’s finish this so we could go home”

Joker Imagine - Project 6277 PART 9

A/N: Sorry for the long long loooong wait


Part 8 here *click me*


Originally posted by thebreakofdawn

Originally posted by teenager-very-lost

Joker’s P.O.V.

Just kill her’ ‘she’s only a normal girl!’ ‘it’ll be over quickly’ The voices told me. I clenched my jaw angrily and tried to push them away. My head was a mine field, no one wanted to enter it. It’s like I was in a tiny room with ten televisions on with full volume, all playing a different loud movie. Ever since Y/N got here, the voices got ruder. I knew why, but I was forced to ignore them.

We ate the pizza and then Y/N fell asleep. I didn’t even bother to wake her up, because she seemed exhausted. The poor girl was terrified, but then she kissed me. A smile appeared on my face and I chuckled by myself. At first I thought she could just be a fun little project, more like bait to catch Batman, but then something changed my mind. I wasn’t the type of person who was loved, or even cared about. I didn’t love, I didn’t care about anyone.

Until now. There was something in Y/N that made me not want to kill her. She was different, special in her own way. I felt like she could go crazy if I tried hard. That’s what I’d need from her. The acid and shock therapy would be extra, just to make the bait worse. But then I started thinking..was it necessary? Could I make her more like me without making her go through all that shit?

I groaned and then looked down at Y/N. She was slumbering peacefully on her bed, her arm around my torso and in her sleep she had nuzzled closer to me. I sat on the bed, leaning against the bedpost and I got lost in my thoughts. There was an empty pizza box on the floor along with clothes. It was late at night and I knew I could be with my goons, planning a heist, but for tonight they could survive with Frost stepping up for me.

I had other plans.

I slowly moved away from Y/N and stood up. She didn’t wake up. Instead she grabbed a pillow and hugged it like she had hugged me. I put the blanket on her and tried to make it okay. To be honest I wasn’t sure what to do, so I left the room before I did something wrong. Although I treated this girl differently didn’t make me a super man. I had no idea how to treat people with care. I guess I’d have to learn that. She could be my weakness since I felt like I couldn’t hurt her, but I’d find a way to make it a strength.

I walked through the penthouse until I got into my office. The curtains were pulled aside and I saw the large windows there. I saw such a huge part of Gotham city, but no end of the city. It was so big. Oh Gotham. ‘’Batsy you son of a bitch where could you be?’’ I muttered by myself and looked outside. Buildings were everywhere and lights were on even tho it was probably 3 or 4 a.m.. This city never slept. It was full of crime and action, but it still drew people here. I guess Gotham had it’s own spell.

But somewhere in this city was my worst enemy, but also my good pal Batman. I wonder if Y/N had any clue that the reason I needed her in the first place was Batman. I wanted to make her go nuts, totally crazy and cold-blooded. I wanted to show Batman what I could do to people. I wanted to play with Batman, making Y/N the perfect bait. But now I didn’t want that. My original plan included me killing her, but I knew now that I couldn’t do that. Although I had killed a countless amount of people, I was sure I couldn’t just pull the trigger towards her.

Damn girl. She was such a pain in the ass, but at the same time I had a feeling she’d be one of my greatest fails. Yes I admit I had failed, because I had to change my plan so much. But not all fails were bad. What if I was wrong about this feeling? I sighed and ignored the voices again. They wanted her dead.

‘’Shut up’’ I growled darkly and tilted my head a little bit. 

’You shut up’ ‘You’re weak J, you can’t feel pity’ ‘your heart is dead, it won’t beat for a girl’ They screamed at me again. I tried to calm down, but knowing me and my anger problems that didn’t work. I turned around to my desk and grabbed all the papers, pens, the computer, everything and threw the stuff on the floor. Everything flew around, scattering all around the desk. I heard glass breaking, papers hitting the floor and so much more. Then it grew silent.

‘’Fuck’’ I hissed and pushed my desk so it flew on it’s side. I kicked the things in anger until I sat down in the middle of the mess with my hands in my hair. I shut my eyes and tried my best to stay  in one place. Not too long later I was doing a rocking movement and I was mumbling shit by myself. I wanted the damn voices to shut up for one minute. Just one minute-

There was a small knock on my office door. I froze on the spot and growled angrily. I couldn’t control myself. Then the door opened. I grabbed a gun nearby and loaded it, pointing at whoever dared to come in. As the lights stopped blinding me, I saw a woman there. It was Y/N. She didn’t move, probably because she saw the gun. My head was telling me to shoot her, get rid of her and just take another girl to mess with. But another part of me told me not to shoot her.

Y/N’s face was full of worry and shock. I probably looked both angry and amused at the same time. ‘’You’re really one of a kind’’ I giggled and slowly lowered my gun. Y/N had no idea what was going on. ‘’Are you okay?’’ She dared to ask me. Damn this girl had guts. Even Frost would be careful if he saw me like this. ‘’You’re driving me crazy!’’ I cheered and threw my hands in the air. The truth was that I was crazy before her, but she was doing something different.

When did I go wrong with my plan?

‘’J what happened?’’ She questioned me with a soft voice. She seemed less scared now. Y/N walked closer to me, careful not to step on broken glass or anything sharp. I watched her step until she was in front of me. Y/N wasn’t wearing much. I moved my eyes from her feet to her face. She kneeled down next to me and looked deep into my eyes. Why wasn’t she afraid of me? I was a little angry because I didn’t feel like I was controlling her, but another part of me didn’t mind.

‘’You know since I’m probably going to stay here for a while..’’ Y/N started and then sat down. She scooted right next to me and I felt her hand on my shoulder. I clenched my jaw, but then seemed to relax a little bit. Yet I squeezed the handle of my beloved gun. ‘’..you can talk to me’’ She whispered soothingly. It’s like the tables had turned.  Funny how pizza made her so comfortable and less scared.

‘’I’ve talked to loads of people but all they did was bad’’ I started, having no clue whatsoever why I just told her that. Y/N sure was different, that was for sure. Then I thought about the so called doctors who tried to help me but fucked up and made me ‘worse’. Not my fault. 

‘’Usually professionals go by rules. We’re not like them, we can talk differently’’ Y/N explained, almost as if she had read my mind. I turned to face her. Her face was illuminated by the city lights that came through the window, making her really pretty. Her beauty could distract Batsy for sure. ‘’I was going to kill you, but I know that I can’t’’ I admitted, probably scaring her again, but she wanted the truth.

Y/N nodded and started rubbing my back. It was a little strange at first, but I liked it. The feeling reminded me of something. It was so warm, soothing. As I closed my eyes, I saw a flash and then I was in my memories, the last ones I still had. Of course they were the worst. A blurry face came closer to be with a bottle. I didn’t remember much, but I could never forget the shock I felt once years ago in my life. The blurred man had yelled something and then things turned black.

I opened my eyes and my smile faded. That poor memory always made me feel like I had to pour my anger out. I usually did so by hurting others..

Part 10 *click me*

I use iPad Pro 9.7 with Apple Pencil for a year now. iPad Pro changed my university life for sure. My routine got so much easier after I got it. Even though iPad Pro has numerous advantages, it’s not necessary in order to be an A student in uni.

Why I got iPad Pro?

I was sold after I tried Apple Pencil in Apple Store. It was something out of this world. I couldn’t believe that it’s all electronics. It felt so real like you’re actually writing on a paper with a pen.

As a student, I couldn’t effort to buy this expensive piece of technology based on my first impression. I researched so much before I made my final decision. I watched all videos about this new iPad (there were not so many at that time), I read articles, I tried apps for notetaking, and I tried it multiple time in the store.

My goal was to transfer all my college life into this iPad. I wanted to record on it, take notes on it, write on Power Points, etc. The idea that I don’t need to carry a heavy backpack to school and to have an anxiety every time my notes look ugly amazed me. iPad could make all my dreams come true. And it did!

Why should you get iPad Pro?

  • You want to be able to change and edit you writing easily.
  • You want to have all your papers in one place.
  • You don’t want to carry pounds of notebooks, textbooks, and printed PowerPoints.
  • You love to have your notes perfectly organized.
  • You have anxiety when your notes are not as you want them to be and you can’t change it.
  • You don’t want to waste paper.

If all or most of those statements are true for you, I think, iPad Pro will be the perfect solution. The good this about it is that you’re not limited to just note taking. iPad has so many other possibilities like typing, drawing, lettering, photo editing, signing documents, and more.

i love this musical. i love this company of actors who have changed my life. it’s such a strange thing to say, considering i’ve never met any of them but their words and the way they sing and act impacts me. it makes me feel so happy and lin, oh my godddd lin! he is a genius. he is a damn genius. i am in love with not only hamilton (it is my favorite obviously though) but In The Heights, 21 Chump Street, and Bring it On. i don’t know, i just felt the need to type all this, i just felt like it was necessary. oh and plus this song makes me cry. a lot. okay i am done now bye

Labelmates

Summary: Rising singer Y/N is introduced to her new labelmate, Daveed Diggs. 

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x reader

A/N: Guess who’s back, back again. Yeah, she’s back, risen from the dead! Expect a LMM x reader fic next!


“Clipping.”

You look up from your notebook, startled to see your manager hovering over you. “Clipping?” you repeat, accepting the mug of coffee she offered to you. You sigh in bliss when you take your first sip.

She snorts softly. “Your new label mates. I swear, Y/N…”

You stare at your blank notebook, and bring the eraser end of your pencil to your lips, her voice fading into the background. You gently bite the metal, humming the tune of the song you’ve been working on for the past few weeks, hoping that lyrics would somehow make its way from your brain to the paper.

Your manager’s hands slamming onto your notebook caused you to jerk back, surprised at her sudden outburst.

“You’re going to the welcome party tonight,” she barks, “you need a break.”

“But…” you reply, brows furrowed.

“No buts. CEO’s orders. I’ll pick you up tonight at 11,” was her reply, leaving the recording studio before you could say another word.

You close your eyes and lean back against your chair, the stress of releasing new songs feeling heavier than ever. It’s been nearly a year since your successful debut album, and your fans were getting antsy. You sigh, disappointed in your inability to produce music. You were tempted to hide from your manager for the rest of the night, but decide otherwise.

Maybe a break will do good on your poor brain.

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anonymous asked:

Hi I was the anon who submitted one question about whether or not it was ok to change a heterosexual's sexuality but not a homosexual's sexuality - for my part that was merely a polite question since I felt morally conflicted about the situation. I am not myself heterosexual but I see it necessary to question whether or not things are actually fair. Now your followers are telling me to go die and I guess if you have a simple moral question you're a monster.. I am sorry if I made you feel bad tho

Hi anon. I perfectly understood your question and the reason why you asked it, hence why I gave my personal opinion on the matter. Now, people going to tell you to go die is news to me. I never, ever said your question was wrong, I never said you were a monster, I never asked for any kind of retaliation on you (there was nothing to retaliate for, to begin with). I never saw any comments that were aggressive on the post itself or the tags people left. So this you speak of must’ve been people coming to your ask or chat to say this? I presume. 

I am sorry to hear this. If someone here went through the trouble of finding out who you were (since you have been on anon the entire time) and be nasty to you about a simple question, then just know I don’t condone it and I, as it’s obvious, never asked for that. 

If you have been on my blog you know I’m all up for dialogue and respect before anything else. I know I cannot possibly control what other people do. But just know I don’t approve of it. 

Going on someone else’s blog just to tell them to “go die” it’s a nasty, childish thing to do. Specially if it’s just for sending a question that was, in my opinion, respectfully asked. 

There was no harm done. 

-Red

Hello My dear lovelies. It is I back again with a one shot due to this amazing prompt hosted by @everlarkficexchange I’m sorry it’s a bit late. I would love to just say that this was super difficult for me, seeing as this is my first smut ever written. Please be kind. I would like to thank @titaniasfics for her amazing beta work and The biggest most ardent thanks to my baby doll @mega-aulover for helping me through everything and keeping my spirits up. Finally, I would like to thank my handsome hubs for the inspiration and patience. I made my own little banner. It isn’t much but I tried. I hope you all like this story. Please don’t forget to read and write a review, any kind of feedback would do. It would be much appreciated. 

Prompt: Canon-Divergent where Katniss realizes she loves Peeta the night before the Quarter Quell, she tells him and they have sex. In D13, she finds she got pregnant, and while she’s sad that Peeta isn’t with her, she’s happy to be carrying Peetas child. Because should he not return to her, she has a piece of him with her to love. It also gives her the strength to try to rescue Peeta. And to help him constructively recover from the hijacking :). [submitted by Anonymous]

  I can hear the muffled cheers of the Capitolites outside the window. They delight in their favorite Tributes and respective districts. Some might even be taking bets. Betting for which one of us would come out alive. Which of us is worth their sponsorship. Which one they would deem prettier or have a more tragic background so that they will give us a dim hope for survival, not realizing that no one comes out alive. Not if you count nightly terrors, and daily reminders of those we are forced to kill to ensure our empty continuity of life. Going about something resembling living but floating through it all with no feelings other than remorse and guilt because no matter how many times the Victor tries to convince themselves that everything was out of their control, you are left feeling as though it was somehow wrong to survive. You feel disgusted by whatever choices you made, no matter how inconsequential they may have been. You never forget the faces of the people who died by your hand. Unspeakable things that no one should be subjected to, but the Capitolites are so far removed to understand them.. So invested in hollow things such as drama, fashion and whether Peeta and I will last or keep on this charade of the star-crossed lovers. They don’t notice the despair that’s left behind. The bodies of children who never a chance to leave a mark on this world.

  I walk over to the window and watch as the Capitol children run around gleefully in their bizarre dresses and coats carrying sparklers, pretending to jab one another, imitating their favorite Tribute. The fireworks lighting up the sky and hearing the ‘oohs and the aaahs’ from the crowd. I turn back disgusted and sit on the sofa as I wait for Peeta to join me.

  Peeta, who once again tried to spare me when he convinced the crowd outside that I was pregnant. Me, who has done nothing more than to push him away. He has sacrificed himself more times than I can count. But, there he was on that stage, still trying to protect me.

  I didn’t intend for my little rebellion to generate such an uproar. For Snow to put a target on both our backs, for Peeta to be in danger. He doesn’t deserve it, he is far too kind and forgiving.

  I sigh and run my hands through the tips of my tousled hair  . There was no power on this earth to make me want to wear the abhorrent wedding dress for more than it was necessary. I smile and for once I felt a surge of pride remembering the way people’s faces changed when the wedding dress burned before their eyes and was replaced by the dark and exquisite dress that Cinna made. I would have loved to have seen Snow’s face, but for now I’ll content myself with my imagination.

  Peeta, on the other hand, was perfect. Pristine and handsome, and, dare I say it, even delicate in some way. His white tux made him look like a beautiful angel, too flawless to be touched, with his golden hair and crystalline blue eyes. Eyes so full of compassion and kindness. The kindness he had shown me when he fed me the burned bread despite the black eye he carried the next day. That was who Peeta was and perhaps Haymitch is right. I can live a thousand years but never truly deserve him. For I am the dark rebel. The one filled with fire and anger but I know I need the dandelion in the spring to gently quench of my own sorrows, my remorse, and fill my resentful heart. He is what I need and there would be no one to equal to him.

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la douleur exquise (5)

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Masterlist


‘Do not look in front of you, do not look in front of you.’

I repeated to myself. I figured I would be okay if I just stared out of the window gazing at the view passing by, but I was not. It’s been close to 30 minutes now and I have concluded that I have never felt this awkward before in my entire life.

The smell of Sehun’s cologne wafted over to me, invading all of my senses. I was completely surrounded by him and I began to feel like I couldn’t breathe. I’ve been wanting to open the window for the longest time but I did not have the will to move my arm to the switch on the door. 

The silence was deafening, it was too quiet. I was too afraid to move, the slightest of sounds would draw Sehun’s eyes back to me. I began to take in shallow breaths in order for my breathing to become even more silent, my leg slowly began to shake and I felt like I wanted a hole to appear beneath me and swallow me up.

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Everyone’s A Little Scarred

Tony/Steve, Rhodey, Clint, Natasha

Summary: Tony’s not okay, but he’s somehow even less okay in his own bed.

A/N: I’ve been working on this thing since last year, and I can now finally show you my pride and joy. Special thanks to @thatkourtnichik for being my beta, and I hope you all enjoy it!

Warnings: PTSD, insomnia (sort of), mentions of past alcohol consumption, anxiety attacks. Nothing very graphic, but it’s there.

Words: 5 714

“Can I crash here tonight?”

The surprise on Rhodey’s face was replaced by confusion. “Everything okay?”

“Just peachy.”

Rhodey watched him for a few seconds too long to be considered normal before stepping aside. “Come on in.”

Tony shouldered his way past him and entered his apartment. “Great. I promise I won’t be a bother.”

“The thought never crossed my mind.” Rhodey closed the door and turned to him. “So, you hungry?”

“I’m sort of craving a cup of coffee.”

“Coffee it is then,” Tony heard him mumble, “at eleven at night” when he thought he was out of earshot.

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