i felt something in me change

anonymous asked:

Teo, is it true that you were going to kill Jethro at first ?? What changed your mind??

Teo: “That is true… I was famished after the performance that day and he was just standing there. He piqued my interest because of the striking mask he wore and I didn’t want to go through the effort of trying to find a better meal, so I took him home with me, offered him food, some clothes, etc. But what changed my mind was that something about Jethro felt very different from the other humans I take… We were the same, yet very different… I can’t explain it any better than that…”

anonymous asked:

Hey Cecilia. You are such an inspiration for me so I feel like asking you something. My mood changes according to how much my boyfriend shows me love and I don't want it to be this way anymore. I want to feel worthy no matter what people think of me but I guess I am not used to that. I always think that if my significant other stops respecting me for some reason then there is something wrong with me. I want to love myself and not depend on him. What do you think I should do to change this?

Awww, bless you butterfly! I feel humbled… ~ And I have been there too. A few years ago I could never be alone, I was always chasing the next relationship. And how I felt completely dependent on how much love & affection they would show me… I now see how deeply unhealthy that was. You just have to see the infinite light blossoming from your heart… And whether others see it too or not, it’s not important. Because you do. Because you know. As long as you do your best in the best way that you can, there is nothing to worry. As long as you feel grounded & firm in your heart, nothing can shake you. Be rooted like a tree. I know it is easier said than done but just love yourself. Embrace yourself. Whatever happens, be there for yourself. Know that you are loved in each moment & pure love is unconditional… Meaning that you are still loved, even if you are not always on your highest vibration and happiest mood… And in the end, we are all just reflections of one another so if someone would stop showing you love or respecting you, it’s really just reflecting what is going on inside of them most of the time… Stay grounded in yourself or you will always be soaking other’s emotions & feelings and never know your light within. I am sending you so much love. May you see the beauty within <3

Artist Rambling

My sister got scammed on an Internship job board. Thankfully it was nothing major and she was reimbursed but it did irk me a bit and got me think about how our generation or artists (workers in general) is the most educated, most overworked, and most likely to be taken advantage of/compensated poorly.

Made me reflect on the time when I was younger and agreed to intern at a place for 2 years for minimum wage (7.75) not really realizing I was being taken advantage of/short changed because I felt like there was no other option and that working hard for so little was just something I just had to do…Looking back it definitely wasn’t right to be doing the same work as everyone only to be treated like I was somehow being done a favor by being “employed”. Thankfully some better opportunities came up here and there.

It’s really hard sometimes to say no to crappy jobs because a lot of the times it seems like there are no other options. But at this point if an employer isn’t willing to invest as much in me as I would in their work, it’s a hard pass for me these days. Exposure =/= Payment and I don’t feel we should have to break our backs to prop someone else up and then be discarded when it’s convenient for them…

I feel like this is what’s been pushing me to be more independent and do my own thing. It’s definitely easier said then done but as I get older the whole “use em and lose em” attitude some employers seem to have towards the workforce gets even more dangerous and painful…

Why does everything turn into wolfstar smut?

Originally posted by maria-tries

  • Maybe some time around the age of 16 Remus’s transformations stop leaving him weak and hollow
  • In fact, they start to have the opposite effect 
  • Not that Remus notices; as usual his brilliant mind is always quietly occupied
  • But Sirius notices
  • Merlin Sirius notices
  • It starts with his shoulders, he can’t help but eye the way they sit a little broader when Remus stands up straight 
  • Then it’s his forearms, Sirius can see the tendons stand out a little when Remus lies on the sofa and holds his book above his head. 
  • After the next full moon, it’s his biceps - they start pushing against his shirt when he leans over his potions essay, and Sirius’s mouth all but drops to the floor
  • Suddenly it’s hard to be around Remus, literally, without feeling a tightness growing in his trousers
  • The boys sit opposite each other in the library for hours, an endless pile of homework and exam prep leaving them caught in a dizzying cycle of work, eat, sleep
  • They all need some relief, but fuck Sirius needs a very specific kind of relief
  • Exams are so close, and he has to focus, but just a look at Remus could flick a switch in his body
  • Even his hands, somehow his hands look bigger, stronger
  • Sirius starts biting down hard on his lip each time his eyes drift to his boyfriend in class, or the library, or the common room (okay, just about everywhere)
  • But after half a day his bottom lip becomes red and puffy
  • Instead Sirius finds himself disappearing to the toilets to splash cold water on his face more often than he’d like to admit
  • When Remus’s arm winds protectively around him as they walk down a busy corridor, he has to bite back a whine
  • And when Remus strolls out of the shower one morning, a towel slung low around his hips, Sirius just sits and stares 
  • Because his chest, Christ his chest has transformed
  • And it was all Sirius could do not to go over there and beg Remus to deal with his painfully hard arousal, right there in front of James and Peter
  • And when Remus caught him, eyes roving greedily across his bare skin and freshly tousled hair, he just stared right back and winked
  • Sirius rolled over in bed and bit down so hard on his pillow he could have torn it apart
  • This day was particularly torturous, and it didn’t help that the summer heat had Remus loosening the top few buttons of his shirt
  • Or that, in transfiguration, his hand had been resting high on Sirius’s thigh the whole time Frank was explaining petrification. 
  • Or that, as they walked to the library, Remus slid Sirius’s bag from his shoulder and slung it easily across his own, winding an arm around his waist 
  • By time they sat down Sirius was almost at breaking point, his frustration had his heart beating overtime and his head cloudy 
  • He cast his eyes down, trying desperately to ignore his boyfriend’s newly broadened shoulders, or his tight, hard chest
  • Or the way his arms looked when he stretched out like that, fuck
  • Sirius’s chair scraped loudly against the floor as he stood up, muttering half an excuse about the bathroom 
  • He didn’t feel connected to his feet as they carried him through the library, eyebrows furrowed and head fuzzy
  • He didn’t notice Remus until his fingers were locked around his wrists, and his whole body tugged sideways
  • Sirius’s soft moan of surprise was muffled by Remus’s lips, which collided with his before he could even gather his surroundings
  • Remus’s hand travelled to Sirius’s neck, his thumb pressing gently into the soft skin, while his other grasped at his hips
  • Sirius thought his legs would give way at any moment 
  • Just as abruptly as it began, Remus drew away, focusing his burning eyes on Sirius
  • “You keep disappearing.” He murmured “And you won’t look at me.”
  • He pressed a thumb to Sirius’s puffy bottom lip “You’re not telling me something Sirius.”
  • Again, Remus’s hand slid back to Sirius’s neck, a gentle pressure aiding the fuzzy euphoria Sirius felt at his touch
  • Tell me.” He growled. 
  • When his face blurred back into view, an almost delirious Sirius saw Remus’s expression harden
  • “I can take it.” He said, lowly
  • Sirius frowned, still breathless, resisting the urge to buck his hips into Remus’s warm, gorgeous body 
  • “It’s you.” He murmured, looking down
  • Suddenly, inexplicably, he felt ashamed
  • “You’ve changed and I can’t - I can’t cope. It’s not that I didn’t like you before, I love you whatever you - what ever you look like - and you were always gorgeous, but now you’re just, you’re just kind of perfect and it’s just” Remus’s proximity making Sirius almost incoherent.
  • “…it’s just your shoulders got bigger, and your arms, and I can’t stop, I can’t focus and I know you just want to work and there’s no time for it so I was trying not to bother you but fuck Remus.”
  • “What?” Remus’s hand tilted Sirius’s chin up, forcing him to meet his confused gaze. 
  • Sirius shuttered under his boyfriend’s newly bulky frame
  • “You’re not…” Remus frowned. “I thought you liked someone else.”
  • Sirius nearly choked. “What?” He spluttered.  
  • “Remus” He snapped, taking control and pushing himself closer to the boy. “I can’t focus on anything but you. I can’t study, I can’t sleep, I can’t look at you in class without…” Sirius groaned and pushed his hips against Remus, using his hard arousal to illustrate his point. 
  • Sirius pressed frantic kisses into to the soft skin on Remus’s neck. “And when you came out of the shower today…”
  • Sirius’s sentence ended in a gasp as his back hit a smooth, cool wall. Remus’s warm mouth was at his neck, his hands pressing down his sides, their bodies flush against each other
  • “Why didn’t you tell me?” Remus growled. “Why didn’t you let me help you?”
  • Sirius only moaned in response as Remus’s thigh found its way between his legs, pressing teasingly against him
  • “Sirius.” Remus growled again. “Why?”
  • “You were…busy.” Sirius groaned, feeling Remus grip his chin. 
  • “Look at me.” Remus ordered, his eyes burning. “I am never too busy for you, Sirius Black.”
  • Sirius looked at his boyfriend, panting. His hips bucked into Remus, and he tried to connect their lips again, but he felt a strong hand push him back, denying him.
  • “Now, say it back to me.” Ordered Remus. “I’m never too busy to fuck you, say it back.”
  • Sirius shuttered, Remus telling him what to do was just, fuck
  • “You’re never too busy to fuck me.” Sirius’s need was turning his voice into a desperate whine, but Remus didn’t move.
  • His eyes burned into Sirius’s, and his voice was low and threatening. “Next time you need me, you’re going to tell me, okay? You’re going to say: ‘Remus, I need you to fuck me now.’ And I’m then going to fuck you, okay?” 
  • Sirius’s eyes almost rolled upwards, his whole body was trembling.
  • “Remus,” Sirius managed to whisper, somewhat calmly. “I need you to fuck me now.”
  • Sirius shuttered as he felt Remus grip the back of his thighs, easily lifting Sirius up and pressing him against the wall, his legs now hooked around his waist.
  • “Good boy.” Remus whispered.
The Pilgrim (Part 1)

This is the first half of a Zimbits soulmate AU, where you can feel the pull of your soulmate like a compass. This is a first draft, so no corrections have been made so far. I just wanted to throw it out there. There will be a second and final part to this- and I’ll do my best to write it soon. 




Dear Mama and Coach,

I’m sorry to leave with only a note, but this is something I have to do. I left for my pilgrimage. I know I’m way too young, but I couldn’t wait. … I think my soulmate is dying. I felt the pull stop for a full minute. It never happened before. I can’t wait another four years before seeking them! I hope you understand.

Also, I didn’t tell y’all because… I think my soulmate may be a man.

I hope you’re not too mad at me. I’ll call.

I love you both,

– Dicky


North. The pull had always pointed North. Sometimes, when Eric changed cities, he tried to triangulate the feel, but there was never enough difference in what he felt to pinpoint a precise location on a map. His soulmate could be in any of the states above Georgia, or- well, they could live further North. He wondered what would be worse for his parents, that his soulmate was a man, or that he was a Yankee.

He’d stressed about it for years but, now that he was stuck on a bus for who knew how long, he couldn’t stop worrying. He fidgeted with the cheap pilgrimage kit he’d bought at Atlanta. A map of the United States, a plastic ruler, a tiny pencil and a miserable looking compass that didn’t seem to point in the same direction if he shook it a bit. It was all he could afford, since the bus ticket from Madison to Atlanta, then Atlanta to… wherever, took most of his “borrowed” money.

That was another thing. His parents would be so mad when they noticed he took from his savings account. That money was supposed to go to his skating class- or more recently, his hockey equipment.

Maybe he could have asked. Maybe they’d understood, and offered more, and Coach would have lent him his own brass compass, the one inherited from his own father, the one he used to follow the pull until he found his own soulmate. Maybe his mother would have kissed him on the forehead and maybe she’d have offered to ride with him wherever the pull led him- North, North, always North…

But maybe not.

It wasn’t something Eric wanted to risk. The steadiness of the pull had stopped, for just a minute, maybe more, but that was enough to change Eric’s own life. He had someone, somewhere, whose soul was compatible with his- who was maybe a lover, a friend- and that someone’s life had blinked.

He held back his nervous tears, fidgeted with the compass once more.

(more under the cut)

Keep reading

Angst/fluff Prompt List

Please don’t repost (stealing isn’t cool, but reblog if you wish) <3 <3

  1. “I love you, please don’t go.”
  2. “Stay here tonight.”
  3. “Please don’t walk out of that door.”
  4. “I thought things were going great.”
  5. “Don’t you love me?”
  6. “You make every day worth living.”
  7. “I’ll keep you warm.”
  8. “I’m never letting you go.”
  9. “You meant too much to me.”
  10. “I won’t let you.”
  11. “How could you ask me that?”
  12. “Don’t you trust me?”
  13. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”
  14. “You look amazing tonight.”
  15. “Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”
  16. “I’ve got you.”
  17. “I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”
  18. “It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
  19. “How are you feeling today?”
  20. “You look amazing tonight.”
  21. “We’ll figure this out.”
  22. “This isn’t goodbye.”
  23. “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”
  24. “Wanna go grab a drink?”
  25. “What the hell were you thinking?!”
  26. “Here, let me help you.”
  27. “Kiss me.”
  28. “I care about you.”
  29. “You could have warned me!”
  30. “That was unexpected.”
  31. “You haven’t lost me.”
  32. “Why are you doing this?”
  33. “Don’t cry.”
  34. “Please don’t do this.”
  35. “You make me feel safe.”
  36. “You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”
  37. “Thank you, for everything.”
  38. “All I wanted was for you to be happy.”
  39. “I can’t do this on my own.”
  40. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”
  41. “Don’t be afraid.”
  42. “You’re always on my mind.”
  43. “You have no idea how much I want you right now.”
  44. “You’ve always felt like home.”
  45. “I can’t imagine this world without you.”
  46. “Dance with me.”
  47. “Trust me.”
  48. “Why are you crying?”
  49. “Who hurt you?”
  50. “Nothing is wrong with you.”
  51. “You make me feel alive.”
  52. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”
  53. “Who cares about what they think?”
  54. “Let’s go.”
  55. “I’m not going anywhere.”
  56. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
  57. “You’ve always got me.”
  58. “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”
  59. “Is this okay?”
  60. “You look like you could use a hug.”
  61. “Did you need something?”
  62. “Do you have a ride home?”
  63. “I am home.”
  64. “What happened back there?”
  65. “That’s not gonna happen.”
  66. “Why me?”
  67. “I’m right where I belong.”
  68. “Fine.”
  69. “What do you want me to say?”
  70. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”
  71. “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”
  72. “You need sleep.”
  73. “Excuse me?”
  74. “What are you doing?”
  75. “What did you expect?”
  76. “You’re not alone.”
  77. “We’re meant for each other.”
  78. “You’re worth it.”
  79. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
  80. “I’ve always been honest with you.”
  81. “It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”
  82. “Just breathe, okay?”
  83. “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”
  84. “Going somewhere?”
  85. “Don’t lie to me.”
  86. “Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”
  87. “You’re so adorable.”
  88. “I’m better, now that you’re here.”
  89. “I could never forget you.”
  90. “Forget it.”
  91. “That’s in the past.”
  92. “You make me happy.”
  93. “You’re more than that.”
  94. “I won’t lose you too.”
  95. “Come cuddle.”
  96. “Can’t you stay a little longer?”
  97. “It’s not that easy.”
  98. “I’ve had enough.”
  99. “I fell in love with you, not them.”
  100. “You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”
Things I liked about the new Beauty and the Beast

(an almost certainly incomplete list, in no particular order, because there will almost certainly be lots of nickpicky complaining posts from me in the days to come, so I wanted to get some positivity out there first)

Belle being a tinkerer like her dad was cute

Honestly, for the most part the changes to LeFou’s character/arc worked for me, and Josh Gad did a great job with the part

Luke Evans also gave a great performance as Gaston. And the new take on the song “Gaston” really worked for me. 

While I have more to say about the larger choices in general and how they could have been improved, the moment where Maurice sees the talking cup and then just… calmly… runs the fuck away was hilarious

Belle planning to escape from the very beginning was a great character choice

The addition of the Harpsichord character was one I was really worried about before the move, and actually 1) he was a great character and 2) the added subplot of him and the Wardrobe being married and not having seen each other in years because they’re both large furniture trapped on different floors was fucking great added color and fleshing out of the world and the nature of the curse. It was done basically exactly right and only added to the story.

The addition to the curse that everyone in the castle was erased from everyone’s memories was a great fucking addition (more on this later. more on a lot of these points later, lolol)

That part where Babette is holding up the serving dish to create the spotlight to shine on Lumiere, but she couldn’t hold it steady, so he kept having to move into the spotlight, was so fucking cute??? What a cute gag?? I love it???

While I still roll my eyes hard at the inclusion of Romeo and Juliet in the film, and have thoughts about how the Beast’s literacy and other changes to the character affected the story, the part where he rolls his eyes at Belle and sticks out his tongue at the yucky idea of romance was fucking adorable

Mrs. Potts explaining that “They did nothing” while the Beast grew up to be who he was is exactly why they’re part of the curse was a good addition

As was Belle’s righteous indignation on their behalf, and general curiosity about the curse and desire to to something about it

(And I appreciate that, despite that, they didn’t tell her the nature of the curse, because to me that would feel really emotionally… coercive? manipulative? unfair? It’s unfair to put that kind of burden on someone. I appreciate them avoiding it)

Adding the “slowly becoming more inanimate” plot into the story from the musicals was a good call. It’s a good addition. It adds stakes. I liked that each small change was timed with a falling petal and the whole castle felt it. It really was a great way to flesh out the curse and increase the stakes of the ticking clock.

Belle’s dress at the final dance was rlllly pretty

The first time I tried to come out to someone I was ten years old and in primary school.
I told a person who was supposed to be one of my best friends. She listened.
The next day when I came to school she had told the twins; my other friends and they all laughed at me and avoided me for days on end. I knew there was something wrong with me then, see!?? So I told them I was just joking and of course I didn’t like girls that way, I’M NOT GAY!
The next time I tried, I told my cousin, my other best friend. She didn’t say a lot about it and just kind of changed the subject. The next time I saw her she asked me if I was being serious with a screwed up look on her face that hit me in the gut like disgust. I felt so sick, am I sick?! There is something so wrong with me. I told her no, of course I wasn’t, I’M NOT GAY, NO REALLY, DEFINITELY!
I started high school desperately trying to be cool, to be normal, to just fit in, why couldn’t I be like all of them? Every now and then someone in the halls would call me a fucking lesbian. It took me right back to those laughs that I heard when I was ten. I was still friends with the same girls who’s laugher haunted me and one night I slept over at their house. They had a brother who was a couple of years older and I thought I might have had a crush on him. It was juvenile wishful thinking. I ended up in his room with the door closed, in the darkness putting his dick in my mouth. After that I asked if I could go home because I was homesick - but I was just sick, I didn’t like anything about him or his dick. I felt so empty and so alone knowing that I was not normal, I was not like any of them. I sat in the bathtub with the door locked at 1am brushing my teeth and trying to erase the stain of what happened.
I came to school on Monday, and people were looking at me. They were talking behind hands and snickering. Someone had told someone and then someone told everyone and they all knew. My mind flew out the second story window in math as a girl passed me a note telling me I was gross and a fucking slut. If anything I thought it would shut them all up? Isn’t that what normal girls do, they like boys and they don’t leave their balls blue?! I had no idea what in the fuck I was supposed to do.
I drifted away from them all, I’d still see them in the halls but we hardly ever talked anymore. I found out that there were certain boys that stayed seperate from the jocks, and their flocks, so I started hanging out with them. They didn’t really care about much of anything and for once I felt a tiny bit of what I thought was belonging. Of course I engaged in ridiculous dating charades where I was one of their girlfriends. We’d occasionally kiss and hold hands and that was it, and I thought it might finally look like I fit. But I still heard it, from time to time “HEY DYKE, ARE YOU A LEMON OR A LIME?” I’d just put my head down and hide. I’d hide behind my boyfriend who was sweet and kind and dopey and gentle, even though most days he kind of drove me mental.
One day there was a new guy at school, I saw him before roll call in the hall and thought he looked cool. Later that day in science, he was sitting opposite me, and I smiled, he smiled back. We’re still friends and it’s about fourteen years down the track - how did we get to that? Well…
The next time I came out it was to him, and he told me he was the same as me. Of course I chose to come out under the label of bisexuality, because I still thought guys were kind of cute and it provided me with a shield of a certain safety and half normality. He didn’t flinch or cringe or look at me with hate, he just said he was the same, and my shame started to deflate a little. I started to breathe full breaths for the first time in so long, and I started to believe maybe I wasn’t so fucking wrong.
The next time I tried to come out to somebody I was sixteen and it was my mother. I’d spent years in torture and isolation trying to figure myself out, who I really was, what it was all about. I told her I was bi and she was quiet for a while. After I prompted her for a response she said “but how do you know?” with a condescending smile. She told me I was young, and that I hadn’t even slept with anyone so how could I possibly know what I am?? Rage is the only thing I could feel at that stage, HOW COULD I KNOW WHAT I AM? The same way you knew you weren’t what I am, that’s how. I’ve spent years hating myself for being this way, and this is the stupidity I’m faced with now? Like I had just flippantly decided that I would announce something I wasn’t even sure of? I was floored, and thus thereafter the topic was purposefully ignored. The silence said all I needed to know, this was something I just wasn’t supposed to show, it’s just one of those things that was a no go. Certain people could be trusted with my secret, the thing that people didn’t seem to want to see, but I had to be very careful about who that would be.
So I shut it down and compartmentalised my difference and tried to survive. Three years went by before I opened that door again, to a trusted friend. I never intended to tell her, but she asked me in a way that seemed so tender, there were no teeth waiting to bite me, and even though it frightened me I told her. She didn’t even care, she was just curious, maybe she was questioning things in herself like some of us do. That was the first time I really knew that I wasn’t my shame and I wasn’t my pain and I wasn’t some thing to be hidden away. I decided then to be more open. To live authentically and do what felt right for me. But I still remained private about it unless asked explicitly - then I would answer as honestly as I knew how, because truthfully I’m still figuring all of it out. I’ve learned so much about diversity and gender and sexual identity and sometimes I find the right words that seem to fit, and other times the pressure of a label exhausts me and I get sick of it.
Sick of trying to classify myself under certain banners, sick of people asking things without any thought of manners.
I know on the grand spectrum of things I am not at all like them, I fall somewhere else along the Kinsey scale. Maybe that means in a way I fail the people like me, because I can’t cement things or write it in concrete and sign it to make it complete. Or that sometimes I still find myself in certain situations where I’m being discreet, holding my candour for fear of ramifications and slander. Maybe I’m not full of pride, maybe because for so long all I could do was hide. This makes me feel so guilty, I should be proud of who I am unapologetically! Not just for me but for the sake of visibility, so that maybe more people can see - we aren’t wrong, we don’t have any agenda other than to be able to be! Just to be; to live with an open vulnerability and tranquility and to be able to do it safely!! I’m sorry, that I could not join in on the pride but maybe you’ll know why; it’s hard to celebrate something that for most of your life you’ve had to justify to people, to justify to yourself, for most of your life you’ve carefully withheld.
— 

“Internalised Homophobia - Where Is My Pride?”

Pride month is such a wonderful thing and I know it is over now but it inspired me to share this. It’s intensely personal, not very well written and lengthy, but I wanted to be able to share some of my experiences regarding this topic. In no way do I speak for the whole LGBT+ community in this post and it’s simply a personal journey that I wrote out for catharsis. 

[TRANS] NYLON Magzine April Issue with NCT 127 — Ment

TAEIL
“When I was a high school student, I somewhat wanted to become a zookeeper. Since I really like animals, I wanted to take care of the animals in my neighbourhood. But after a bit of research, I gave up. The competition rate is high. Somehow, I became an idol where the competition is even more intense, haha. There are two happiest moments in my life, when I passed the SM Audition and when it was confirmed that I will debut with NCT. When I passed the audition, I was so happy I screamed, and when it was confirmed that I will debut, I bursted into tears. Especially when they confirmed my debut, really… I cried and cried until my eyes were puffy. Do you understand this feeling? It’s like there is a clear, bright flamelight somewhere over there, I know there is a bright world, but I feel like I’m just as in the dark as before. I have lived as a trainee for about three years and a half, every day I had this feeling, the moment it was announced that I am going to debut, it was like crawling out of a lonely tunnel. A world filled with bright and golden light, as if El Dorado unfolded in my life. That was a year ago, but even to this day, I still feel good and bewildered. Sometimes when I go on holidays, it really amazes me how on the streets and in shops I go to, there are people who recognise me. I am still inexperienced and I will work hard. Until I am like ‘Super Junior’s Kyuhyun Hyung… I envy his calm personality as well as his sweet voice and abilities. I also want to have his sense of security (stability). It would be a sense of security to be able to have both experience and skill. “

JOHNNY
“I am Johnny from Chicago. Compared to New York, Chicago is quieter and more relaxed. It’s a city where nothing is too hasty but not overly relaxed, this is why I like Chicago. The fact that I come from Chicago is very important, doesn’t the environment shape a person? I want to be someone who will never forgot where they come from, and I try to keep my wish. I’ve been living in Korea for four to five years now. It feels like I have matured a bit after living in Korea for a while. During this time, I have learned to not only think about myself and to respect the grown-ups. It also made me reflect on the importance of ‘myself’. Idols live in the eyes of others and are obligated to live up to their standards. Under such environments, to avoid losing focus, I have to remember who I am. I constantly think about the questions ‘who am I?’ and ‘what kind of person am I?’. I, Johnny, like DJing and playing the piano. I also wish to become a warm (kind) person, and someone who gives other people strength. My ultimate goal is to become a person who, even though is standing still, can still show their great personality. I am still very much flawed, but please believe that I will become that person. “

TAEYONG
“It’s NCT’s leader, Taeyong. NCT127 gave me a lot. I got a job called (being an) idol, I came into the company and met a lot of nice adults, most of all, I made a lot of friends. To me, the members are my best friends. Although I am the leader, rather than me leading the members, there are more times when they helped me. When I was young, I could paint and play the piano, I had a good reputation for expressing myself, and I often received praises, but it wasn’t easy for me to get close to people quickly. Do you like films by Studio Ghibli? I really like them, but the main characters in these films, why are they slightly different from others, they live alone and are lonely, but if you get to know, they are all good people. I’m talking about characters like Howl in ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’. I think I’m that kind of character, after we became NCT I have eight friends. I am grateful. Still, the times that I spend alone are also very important to me. Therefore, no matter how busy I am, when schedules finish I go to the training room alone and dance or practice singing and tidy my thoughts. I think that having time alone has the power of helping me grow and endure the pressure of busy schedules and life as an entertainer. It is my goal to continue to express the days I have lived, the days a youth lived, through rap and music, and after gaining a lot of experience and knowledge, I have a dream of becoming an adult. I want to be a real grown-up who can help and guide the way for the juniors.”

YUTA
“I have this phrase I always say whenever I introduce myself “I’m manly mountain man Yuta”. I really like mountains. In Japanese, the pronunciation of ‘mountain’ and 'top’ is the same. That’s why I’m manly mountain man Yuta. Ah, I really like mountains. Before debut, whenever there was time to spare, I used to go to Bukhansan, Namsan-dong and every mountain in Seoul City alone, whether big or small. Whenever I’m at the mountains, my mind feels like it has been cleaned and I feel at ease. I thought of becoming a singer because of TVXQ sunbaenim. I wanted to become a soccer player when I was young. But after watching TVXQ, everything changed. They were really cool and they felt like gods to me… But after debuting, it’s harder than I thought it would be. Above all,  there’s no free time, I don’t have time to go to my favorite mountains anymore… One day when I was in a lot of stress I asked our EXO sunbaenim “Until when will this be hard?” they answered it will take three years to give up everything and I firstly will need work to my fullest. That advice gave me strength, I thought 'Ah, our Hyungs also went through a lot of hardship’  and this made my heart feel more at ease.
But whenever I’m tired, I’d like to watch sports documentaries. Soccer players in the A-League have to repeat the same strategy for years to improve their own skill. When I look at it, I think of their 'professional spirit’ and I want to become a person like that too. After all, everything is a fight against yourself. Whenever I don’t feel like practicing or just want to laze around. I think it’s important to keep pushing myself. Like this, I want to keep moving forward one step at a time. It’s just like climbing a mountain.”

DOYOUNG
I have an episode (story) that shows well what kind of person I am. When I was in elementary school I wanted to eat an ice cream so I went and bought it but
a car had rolled over my legs. But, I never let go of my ice cream for even one moment. Even when going to the hospital and arriving in the emergency room, I still held on to my ice cream tightly. In the end, I couldn’t eat my ice cream because it all melted. But this shows that when there’s a thing I really like, I tend to only think about that thing. Right now, I’m struck by our team’s music. The music I can do alone and the music and voices I can do when the 9 of us are together are definitely different. Nowadays, I think a lot about what kind of music our team would fit best. I don’t want to do just common things. Music is a 'proof of existence’ to me. Since I was young, I really liked singing but my parents never really told me 'good job’. To prove my ability, I started to participate in singing competitions. And when I was in high school, I went to the singing contest hosted by the province and got the first prize. That’s when my family started to acknowledge my singing ability. Since then, music has always seemed to give me a feeling of “this is it.” I don’t really have a role model, but I want to be a vocalist who can be recognized after singing just a single line. Like Adam Levine or Lyn sunbaenim. By the way, do you know Lyn’s song 'Love U. . Love U’? You should have a listen. It’s a song accompanied by a piano with delicate vocals

JAEHYUN
“ When I was young, at home I would frivolously laugh well and would have a talkative personality but strangely at school words wouldn’t come out. I’m also shy and somehow felt like I should stay quiet too… That’s why I spent a lot of time alone and my 4th grade elementary school teacher recommended extracurricular activities. I then realized the joy of standing in front of people for the first time doing variety of activities. I think the joy I felt at that time made me do it today. In fact, it’s still nice and fun to be standing in front others and not being burdened. However, it’s hard when I’m not as strong as I expect. Even if you practice but your skills don’t change, do something else. If you can’t dance, sing, when singing falls into a slump, you can watch a movie… Then a moment to be okay will come. I realized as I went many time through that process that I was interested in dancing, singing, movies and so on. That’s what I’m all about. Eventually, it’s obvious but it’s true that you have to be a good person to be a great artist. Being known is nice and receiving love is nice too but I want to be a better person. Someone who doesn’t deceive, someone who is confident of himself. And after a decade, he continues to endlessly finding out what he likes diligently, I want to be someone who continues to enjoy. A person who doesn’t lose his enthusiasm for what he does, that’s the kind of person I find cool. “ \

WINWIN
“ I’m Winwin from China. I have a deep fear of strangers. I’m also more of the shy type. However, if we’re close then I’m a completely different person. I play around a lot… NCT members all tease me for being a “heodang” (T/N: someone who looks perfect but acts stupid) Ah, furthermore! I am a smart person. When me or any of my friends have problems, I can solve them all! Don’t believe me? It’s for real. When my friends encounter problems they always find me first. Because of school, starting from middle school I had to leave my family in Wenzhou to go to Beijing alone. Compared to other people my age, I think I’ve developed a better ability to control and cope with situations. Therefore I was able to adjust to life in Korea without difficulty. I’ve been in Korea for a year and a half and met a lot of cool people. EXO’s Lay hyung is one of them. Dancing and singing, he is good at them both but besides that Lay hyung has a charisma that’s unexplainable in words. I want to also have my own kind of charm someday. My story, what else? Someday I want to act. I’m confident I can cooly play a the lead character in a film about everyday life. Also, I like R&B… my favorite song? I’ll let you know next time. If I tell you too much about me, the charm will be gone! “

MARK
I have a lot of laughter. I laugh about things that don’t make sense and when I was young, I was a kid with a lot of high spirits. Nonetheless, isn’t it more pleasant to be positive rather than depressed? I started <High School Rapper> with a cheerful mind. I did not come with the thought of wanting to compete and win the first place. The thought of wanting to learn was bigger. But when I went out, it was more stimulating than I thought. It’s also a place where I can see the talents of kids of my age around the country, and there are a lot of great friends. Above all, I have already debuted and come from a huge company. I have a lot of people who can help me and guide me. However, these kids who came out there in the competition are alone and they practice alone, I really respect that courage and will. At first, when it started, it was good to have fun, but I have to work hard too, as far as I can. I rap a lot for the team (NCT) but now it seems a bit funny to separate myself from being a rapper or a singer. From now on, without being bound to one restricted area, I want to be an artist who makes good songs and expresses them. Like Michael Jackson’s 'Man in the Mirror’, I want to create a song that is bright and is hopeful for people. The kind of music that can have a good influence on the world. That is my dream.

HAECHAN
“I’m NCT 127’s youngest Haechan. I’m in charge of being the 'cutie boy’, haha, these are not my words but the hyungs. The Hyungs really adore me a lot. Instead of giving you a common introduction, I will tell you the songs of my life. The first one is 'Hello’ by Huh Gak sunbaenim. Since I was young, I liked this song a lot. My parents both play music so naturally, I thought I would also definitely play music too. And one day, my mom came and said: “there’s an audition, let’s give it a go”. I went with a light heart and thought of having fun but unexpectantly, I passed the audition in one try. The song I sang at that time was 'Hello’ from Huh Gak sunbaenim. That’s how I got through the auditions and started my trainee life. I didn’t really know at the time but I seemed to hit puberty when I was fifteen. My mood swings were pretty severe. Whenever I cried, I would go to a dark room and listen to 'She’s Out of My Life’ or `You Are Not Alone’. It was Michael Jackson who seemed to have protected me during my puberty. Also, more important than any other song of my life is NCT’s debut song 'Fire Truck’. I was dazed and confused when I recorded the song, but listening to it now I realize it’s a great song. I think 'Fire Truck’ will be my song of life until I die. When I look back, I think about all the other debuted teams when we debuted and watched the sunbaenims who had already debuted. The teams, who made their debut together with us, were also very good and talented. I thought that 'I cannot hold too much hope, if we don’t work hard enough we will be buried (underneath the other teams)’ and worked even harder after our debut. I’m practicing these days to improve singing and dancing. Although I still lack a lot, I will do well. I’ll have more confidence in myself.”

Translation: Teddy, Selin, Rini, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: NYLON April Issue

Please take out with full credit

Tricky*

Pairing: Bearded!Steve Rogers x Reader
Rating: Mature
Summary: Reader admires Steve shaving his beard and wants to finish the job herself.
Word Count: 1.8k
Genre: Fluff/NSFW-ish
Warnings: ambiguous relationship, Steve being a sarcastic bastard, flirting, innuendos/suggestive themes, sexual tension and light hair pulling.
Author’s Note: it’s inspired by a conversation with a friend about Bearded!Steve in Avengers: Infinity War. The second gif below is from the shaving scene between Moneypenney and Bond in Skyfall, which you all need to watch because… dayum!

   Verona, Italy

As you opened the door of your hotel room, you popped your head out; looking at either side of the corridor a little while after the breakfast had been served. Seeing no one on the perimeter, you tied your robe around your waist and closed the door behind you.

Tiptoeing, you went across the hall. You reached the door of the partner you’d been assigned for this mission and carefully knocked. As you distinguished the familiar sound of his footsteps in the room, you glanced behind you to make sure no one was watching you. The same move you’d been making for the last few days.

Steve opened the door enough for you to see him holding his shield. He let his guard down, smiling as he saw you. You took notice of the only towel he wore around his narrow waist, his hair damped and messy like he’d been drying them before you’d interrupted him.

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His || Jungkook || 0.13

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13

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off limits | 04 (m)

pairing: kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings: smut, dom! Jin, dare I say fluff…? followed by an ‘oh shit’ moment
words: 12,051
summary: you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

  » playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 |

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The Void Inside Me (NSFW 18+)

A/N: This idea was sprouted by one of those ads we’re the two people are texting about something really agnsty or suspenseful and you have to download the app to see the whole story. I loved the idea so much and thought no one would be more suited for it than Void. I want to thank @writing-obrien for seriously helping me out with this when I was completely stumped. Also @celestial-writing because this fic would not be finished if it weren’t for her motivating me to push through up until the very end. And @sarcasticallystilinski too for all her feedback. I think they all edited this at some point too so thank you beautiful babes, I love you all more than most. Lastly, Koneko is Japanese for kitten so says google translater. I’m sorry if I got that wrong.

Warnings: Smut; choking.

Word Count: 6860

|Masterlist|

Originally posted by teendeucalion

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Ryuji and Yusuke: Chicken Nuggets

( @incorrectp5 I saw you’re post and felt inspired. Anyways, I wanted to change Ryuji’s expression in the second line so I went with that portrait, but if it doesn’t flow then I can change it. 8U)

Can We Still Be Alone? (NSFW 18+)

A/N: This was inspired by two songs Windswept by Crywolf and Daning On My Own By Robyn (the Hunter Plake and Jack Cassidy version). When I heard them the ideas just started flowing. This is very different from anything I have written. I had @minhosmeanhoe on my mind as I wrote this. Not for any particular reason, she’s just my actual soulmate so I’m dedicating this to her. I really hope you guys like this (: Also, I’m pretty sure I proofread this! (Pretty sure)

Paring: StilesxReader

Warnings: Smut 

Word Count: 4988


Originally posted by fragileheartxxx

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“I deleted your number from my phone month and months ago so that I wouldn’t text you in the late night. I know you sleep well, and fully throughout the night, and you grew sad and distanced yourself each morning you woke to find my frustration, years too late. I unfriended you on Facebook because you liked all the posts I put up, the happy ones, the good ones, the fun ones. I trained my brain to forget your last name. I taught myself not to think of your eyes. Or the shape of your collar bones. I now can proudly say I don’t think of you late at night when I stare at the light coming in my bedroom windows.”

I’m trying to slow time, and stay still enough so that I don’t wreck anything. That I don’t turn any of the good let in my life into something negative. 

I’m writing everything down lately. Because I don’t trust my memory to catch all the good and bad. It’s like a recently mended net, about to test it’s new strength. 

I hate writing K’s and G’s in my handwriting. I like writing L’s and S’s. I bought a spray bottle at the dollar store and filled it up with water and eucalyptus essential oil. I’ve been burning lavender incense and spraying my pillows with the eucalyptus water. I’ve rearranged my bookcase, and listened to an old FM radio. I searched for a station that didn’t have commercials for about 20 mins. My internet had been down some 24 hours at that point and I just needed a little something in my ears.

I’ve been gone 11 days, and now my cats don’t leave me alone. They come, twirling and dancing between my feet as I walk around surveying this apartment I missed. Each tiny and large thing put in a place that feels right, at least for now.  

In college I would repaint my studio apartment’s walls in the middle of the night because I needed a bit of a change. I would rearrange pillows, shelves and furniture because it felt better thinking about how I’d never been kissed. How I’d never known the touch of a trusted lover. Now I do it because it feels good to seek and find solace and comfort here, away from the world outside. 

I’m not sorry that I’ve allowed certain men take root in my memories. Idaho with his grumbling, growling, and breathtaking smile, his declarations. Brown eyes with the way his mouth moved when he talked and his tattoos, and his love of achingly soft music. The midwest gent for his attentive nature, patience, and his stoicism. My southern best friend who made me laugh like no other, with goofy memorable moments of pride and care, his strength. My contractor ex, nationally ranked rugby boyfriend who lived in the Poconos and who made me feel delicate, womanly, but who trusted me with a hammer and power tools. The tall gangly boy who grew into a handsome man, one night to take my hand late at night in his sports car only to whispered beautiful words of praise besides a lake under the moonlight some miles later. 

But that’s because I sometimes forget the bad associated with each. Or the bad I brought to them. 

I’m sitting on the floor, my legs have fallen asleep and I know I should shed my clothes and crawl into my bed. I should make a list of all I want to accomplish tomorrow, and I should, I should, I should, I should. 

I think I’ll soak in the tub, or change my sheets and get into bed and play a song that starts slow and sad, but builds in my chest like road trip views where you get surprised by a great landscape after the same sad thing miles and miles. Just one more hill. Just one more hike, one more mile, until you’re closer. I’m closer.

Everyday, I am thankful for those who have loved me, and who have allowed me to love them, even if it wasn’t enough for either of us in the long run. Because I’m learning to love myself more, and more. Learning to call myself out on my bullshit. Learning that exciting things happen every day, that I can make exciting things happen, worthwhile things.  

That one day, doesn’t matter how soon, all these memories, all this growth will mean a more successful relationship with another extraordinary person. With my extraordinary person. Who will grow with me. That will take me as I am, a person capable of greatness, even if that greatness is just great according to each of us, and the small things I do to affect others positively. 

I just have to breathe in, make several small movements that turn into larger ones, exhale, then do it all over again.