i felt like sharing my baby and how much she has grown

baby, my baby | 01

Originally posted by kookmin

“Raise my child, just for twelve months”

◇ pairing: jungkook | reader
◇ genre: angst, fluff. parents au
◇ word count: 6.4 k
◇ author’s note: i will be updating this series every friday evening, 11~12pm korean time! i really hope you enjoy!

part one ↠ next part 

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Lock and Key (M)

*I am so tired*

Requests: Anon asked “Can you make like a dirty y/n imagine of Jimin please??” + @bangtanofarmys asked “ FUCK FUCK FUCK OMG FINALLY SOMEONE’S REQUEST IS OPEN. Ok I want to request a rough Jimin smut, with daddy kink and stuff BECAUSE IM SO TIRED OF BEING REQUESTED AND NOT REQUEST T-T “ you’re so cute wtf 

Word Count: 10.8k bc I don’t know when to stop


Another mundane day has come to pass, your best friend’s arm slung over your shoulders as you soak up the blinding sunrays on your skin. The sun pressed harsh kisses on your delicate skin, a definite burn accompanied by heavy sweating was just the peak of your day. You could barely remember the words of your professor, zoned out and ready to slump into your couch for two days.

Anthropology was fun when you still had your first year jitters, excited to be in university and getting a degree in something you loved. Now, a few weeks into your second year, you wished the years would just pass by.

Distracted by your internal monologue, you barely caught the bus on time, the driver ready to zoom through traffic and you waved your hand out wildly to catch his attention. You stumbled into a seat, the bus moving no less than a second after you got on.

Mindlessly watching the street signs while numerous people leaving and entering the bus, you get off at the stop near your house. You kick off your shoes, dropping your bag on the shoe rack and you heard a broken sob.

“Mom? Dad?” You went into the kitchen, followed by a set of sniffling before going into the living room. Your father held your mother in a consoling way, her hands clinging onto his red sweater. She grabbed a tissue and blew into it.

“Mom? Why are you crying? What happened?”

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Perspicacious

A little Father’s Day gift inspired by the amazing artwork of  @blvnk-art which confirmed a headcanon of my own. A companion piece to Of Bros and Babes. I hope you enjoy! Again a nod to @callieskye for editing advice and to @jenn582 & @idearlylovealaugh for motivation and support (Jenn I promise there is some smut coming, just not today)!

The early morning light was just beginning to filter into the bedroom, but Ron Weasley had no trouble seeing his wife clearly. His clear-sightedness, both literal and figurative, was legendary in the Auror corp. Perspicacious, that’s the word Hermione taught him; she said she loved the way he could always see the things no one else could.

Now more than ever he was seeing clearly: his heart full as he watched her sleeping form. He gently moved an errant curl from her face, careful not to wake her. She needed her rest: a lopsided grin broke over his face she’s resting for two now.

The news was so fresh that it still bore the weight of unreality. It was hard to imagine, almost impossible to wrap your mind around, really. He ghosted his fingers across her abdomen with awe. Their child was in there, right now. A child that they had made, together. A child that would have his sense of humor and her sense of determination. A child that would have her nose and his hair.  Poor kid…the Weasley hair…at least we can always see you in a crowd.

Ron’s thoughts began to run into a future full of firsts: first smiles, first laughs, first words, first steps. He was wise enough to know that parenting would not be without challenges. He chuckled at the memory of the panicked patronus Harry had sent him the first time Ginny left him alone with James. He was sure the Daily Prophet would have paid handsomely for pictures of the wizarding world’s toughest Aurors scrambling under the demands of a colicky baby.

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Creepypasta #1061: Jenny

Length: Long

I work in a school that is over a hundred years old. We nicknamed it the Frankenschool because every time they built an addition it was like they slapped a brick box against a wall. The original school was in the centre and the additions enveloped around it. Some rooms are taller than others, some have curved walls, and some have windows that lead to nowhere. Think the Winchester mystery house only in school form.

My room was in the newest addition, which was built in 1976. It was a large, bright room that had great airflow which is important when it’s June and you are stuck in a solid brick building that is just collecting heat.

I was with the littlest kids, the babies of the school. The ones on their own for the first time. Usually they were a sweet bunch. A few nightmares here and there but, for the most part great kids from a small community.

The kids always joked that our room had a ghost. They named her Jenny. She was a nice ghost and whenever toys or crayons would go missing they would always blame Jenny. When they played in the house area, Jenny was always their mom. They would pretend to make cookies for Jenny, they would set the table for an extra spot for her. One day a group came over and told me it was Jenny’s birthday. I made a birthday crown for her and we made a pretend cake out of play-doh and sung her Happy Birthday. Jenny was loved by all the kids. 

After my first year in my room, I assumed that Jenny would be a thing of the past. The imaginary friend would become a fond kindergarten memory for my former students. That she was just something that group made up as a game.

The next October after a few weeks of getting to know my new group of little ones, they tell me about their new friend, Jenny. The cycle began again and it never went away. Every year the new kids tell me all about Jenny. They adore this imaginary girl. I’ve come to accept that Jenny is just part of our room.

So you might be wondering why I’m sharing this story here. It’s just a cute kindergarten tale of an imaginary girl. That’s what I thought until today. Today our school celebrated its 125th anniversary. We had a huge open house and invited the community in. We had a BBQ, the local museum came and shared archived photos, and we gave an award to the oldest living alumni, a 94 years old who started at the school in 1928 when he was 6. His name was Earl and to be honest, he was more than half dead. He sat slumped in his chair, slept most of the time and his family said he was lost in a sea of dementia.

Staff members were asked to stay in our rooms and allow visitors to tour our rooms and ask questions. The day was going great. I saw lots of old students. Some were even starting college! My, how my babies have grown! The funny thing is that every former student asked about Jenny. I was surprised that they still remembered her. A small group of former students gathered in the house centre, all different ages and shared their favourite Jenny memories. It was a sweet moment.

Later in the day a woman in her early 60’s came into my room. She walked around with amazement and awe. She told me that this used to be her room in the 80’s. She loved working with the little kids so much and she even pointed out little features in the room like the chunk missing from one of the cubbies was when a little boy brought a little saw for show and tell and he wanted to show his friends how it worked and he sawed a chunk out of his cubby. Or the paint marks on my old worn out desk were from when the kids painted a bunch of boxes for the spring play. We shared a bunch of laughs and then she looked at me with a twinkle in her eye.

“Is Jenny still here?” she asked.

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TOG Headcanons (kid edition)

hello my lovelies these have been on my mind for quite a while and I’d love to share them with you so let’s begin :D Please note that these headcanons are the basis of my fics and that everything i say here has been or will be touched upon in my fanfic.

(these are mainly Elorcan bc i’m trash but other ships too so hold on)

-Elide and Lorcan are the first to get pregnant and it is PURELY by accident. 

-Like the war is over and both of them are v happy with each other, but her mind gets muddled about a few things and she forgets to take the birth control tonic that she and Lysandra usually share and BOOM since she’s not High Fae and doesn’t have the thing where it’s hard to conceive.

-When she finds out she FREAKS but knows that she’s gonna keep the baby no matter what. She seeks Lorcan out and immediately talks to him about it, no dancing around and no useless emotional conflict bc this is a serious thing. 

-Lorcan is dumbfounded and needs a few minutes to fully process that he’s going to be a father. He’s never particularly wanted kids himself but he does love them and show them affection every time since he himself was an unloved bastard child so he has a soft spot for them.    

-But when he does fully process it and Elide is a bit nervous since he hasn’t said a word since she told him. He kisses her forehead and says it would be an honour to have children with her.

-Lorcan is surprisingly good at tending to her needs, like you wouldn’t think a brute warrior would know about nightgowns and bras and generally all the things that come with pregnancy but he does and what he doesn’t know he asks Elide and keeps that info in his mind for later. The only thing he lacks is that sort of caring and loving element that should accompany him taking care of her so Elide teaches him by hugging him long and hard and snuggling upto him at night and giving little caresses throughout the day, Lorcan catches on and starts doing this as well and Elide loves him all the more.

-Aelin and the Terrasen gang come to Perranth to visit and congratulate them since traveling is a no-no for Elide and the girls all gush with her about what the baby will look like and what it’ll be named and Aelin starts discussing fashion and maternity clothes for Elide and they all coo after the designs she brought of baby onesies. They both feel so happy since the cadre make numerous toasts to them and even though Lorcan isn’t the social type he still enjoys himself with the simple company of his friends and nothing else like they aren’t bloodsworn members of anyone’s court and they aren’t legendary warriors. They’re just guys that are celebrating about one of them becoming a father.

-Everything happy dandy? NOPE.

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hereafter [saeyoung choi/707]

hello! so, here’s my first mystic messenger fanfiction! it’s been a year since i wrote an actual fanfiction, so i hope i’m not too rusty. also, i wanted to write for mysme back in october, but i lacked the time so hAHA here *throws fic at your feet* please accept this orz. ALSO, i might continue this as a series, if people like this one! it would basically be 707 actually using doing those actions and date ideas that he got from movies. we’ll see. if you have any requests, feel free to send them my way! i don’t own the characters; saeyoung was created by the cheritz team, and you own yourself ;) i hope you enjoy!


pairing: saeyoung choi x mc / 707 x mc

type: fluff (super high school level fluff)

point of view: second person / mc

summary: an early leave from work allows you to discover saeyoung’s rough plans for future romantic escapades. based on a headcanon of mine that saeyoung is actually a cheesy yet awkward romantic, so he is fond of googling romantic movies and romantic actions and makes notes of the techniques he likes. for the future, of course. ;)

word count: 2230

listen: Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You by Arctic Monkeys


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hush little baby...

cs future family fluff ~ or the one in which Killian and Emma are in awe, and amazed, and so in love with their five-week old baby girl. (( AO3 ))

AN:I’m sad, kay? and with cs babies and singing on the brain, so excuse me while I pour all my mush into the world. Fluff galore to help me deal with today.


​Everything is just so small. So so bloody small.

Before Estella was born, Killian helped Emma wash and fold the tiny clothes; all of them, including the miniature trousers and booties. He briefly wondered (assumed) the baby sure wasn’t going to be able to fit in half the clothes.

It had been much of an afterthought back then. He shared a look with Emma when she commented about the size of the clothes (most likely having read his thoughts about the matter) but that had been the end of it.

They carried on, deciding instead which tiny outfit their baby would wear when they brought her or him home from the hospital.

At the time, they didn’t know Estella was a girl, so they’ve chosen a little white cotton one-piece, with tiny yellow ducks on the feet and a small one near the heart.

Once the day came, and Estella was born, it turned out the outfit they chose was much too big for their little duckling. Estella was a wee little one and most all the clothes they had for her, were too big.

Killian could hardly believe it and insisted there was no way that was possible.

Emma had been more understanding than he was, and proceeded to make arrangements to get more than a handful of smaller clothes for Estella.

She reassured him telling him Estella would grow into all of her clothes in no time flat, and that this was normal. “She was born a whole five weeks early, Killian,” Emma had told him patiently. “There was a lot of chunking up this little one decided to skip,” she’d said, before kissing Estella softly and effectively making his heart stutter.

(Grow in size as well. Probably two sizes at least)

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anonymous asked:

Hi yes I just read your headcannon of the first six lords if they had a daughter and I was wondering if you could do the others? Mainly Shingen and Mitsunari. But I'm sure others would love to see the other lords as well!!

Here you go! I did all six, sorry for taking so long :) The rest under the cut to save dashboards again. Happy reading!

Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, Yukimura, Saizo, Masamune and Kojuro

Toshiie

  • Excited.
  • So excited.
  • You have to calm him down
  • “But what if she wants to date that asshole…?”
  • “She’s three, Inuchiyo” *sigh*
  • For him is almost like being a child again
  • Like taking care of you over and over
  • But he knows this time is different
  • Because that annoying brat is, in fact, his daughter
  • And your daughter too
  • Yes, you did it, Toshiie, congrats
  • Sometimes he is annoyed as hell
  • Because he wish he could have more time alone with you
  • But he can’t complain
  • When he sees his little girl sleeping right between you two
  • Especially when she snuggles right into his chest, like you used to do
  • He feels like crying
  • But he won’t cry
  • Because he’s a grown up man

Hideyoshi

  • Possesive™
  • He likes to go everywhere with his girl
  • Just to show off
  • You can see his big smile every time someone says how cute the girl is
  • Except when it comes from a man
  • He loves playing with her
  • And making crown flowers for her
  • And he feels so proud when she makes one for him
  • So much he feels like squeezing her right there, against his chest
  • But he just waits, patiently, for her to place it on his head
  • “You make a pretty princess, papa!”
  • “But I’m sure you’re the cutest princess here, love”
  • When Sakon tried to play with her
  • He rejected him right away
  • “But…”
  • “No”
  • “Why”
  • “No”
  • You could see Sakon’s defeated face, and how Hideyoshi was tightening his grip on her
  • So jealous
  • And she was only three
  • But that was just how much he adored that little girl
  • Because he looked so much like you
  • He knew he had to protect her

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James March: "This death of mine, she gives it a purpose”

Today is your birthday. James told you he has planned a private event in the Blue Parrot Lounge to celebrate with the help from Will Drake and Liz. The hotel regulars have really grown to respect you this past year, even more than they do James. At first, you were just a normal hotel guest at the hotel cortez, then it lead to something much different. Something you didn’t expect to happen. You fell in love with the owner of this beautiful hotel, James Patrick March. James insisted having you live here, no charge. You agreed to it, but didn’t want to immediately share a room with James. You weren’t the type to move into things quickly and he respected that. He lived in the biggest suite on the top floor and he let you live in his office, Room 64, until you were ready to move in with him. Of course, you both spent time together everyday and gave each other space when it was needed. After around 6 months of dating, you finally decided you were ready to move in with him and your relationship has been in bliss ever since. Finding about his ‘hobby’ wasn’t something you took in easily, but after awhile, you’ve grown to accept it because you knew that he would never lay a finger on you.


You have no clue what to expect tonight. James insisted that you stay locked up in the room all day so it doesn’t spoil the surprise. You kept yourself busy by watching Netflix movies most of the day. Whenever you were hungry, you would call the bar to send you something up. It was quite boring, especially since you haven’t seen James since early this morning.

It is about 2 hours before the event. Will Drake has quite a lot of connections in LA so he brought in the best makeup artist and hair stylist he knows to glam you up on your day. James picked out your dress and had it covered up in your closet, telling you not to reveal it until it was time.

After finishing having your hair and makeup done, you felt beautiful as ever, gasping once they turned the chair around for you to look in the mirror. It is now finally time to put on your dress. You unzipped it from the cover, and it’s a stunning floor length black dress that features a sleeveless lace bodice. A large smile hit your face as your were examining the dress. James always had great taste.

The dress is on and you’re ready to go, so you waited in the room until someone called for you.

About 10 minutes later, James comes in looking so handsome and dapper in his blue striped suit.. “Dearest,” he pauses after noticing how stunning you look tonight, “your party awaits you.”

James puts his hand out for you to grab onto. You grab his hand, then transition to connecting your arm to his arm, and head out the room to the elevator.

Upon reaching the elevator, you can feel James staring at you. “What?” You asked, putting your hand behind your neck as you’re blushing.

James grabs your hand and kisses it. “You just looking ravishing, dearest.”

“Thank you, James. You look handsome as well. And the dress you picked, it’s perfect.” James smiles at you as the elevator doors open. He bows as he puts one arm out for you to exit the elevator first. As you’re walking towards the stairs, James puts his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. You just adored how much of a gentleman he is. The way he shows you that you’re his and only his, just sends a shiver down your spine. James is everything to you. He is nothing like the past boyfriends you had. He was different. You honestly couldn’t imagine your life with anyone else. It may be odd to most people that you’re in love with a serial killer, but you didn’t give a damn. James makes you happier than you’ve ever been.

Finally reaching the Blue Parrot Lounge, it’s decorated beautifully. Will really had outdone himself. “Wow. This is lovely!” You yelled out, your face was in awe as you were looking at the decorations. 

As you’re slowly walking around with James by your side, you see a DJ in the corner, playing upbeat music. “I know it’s tempting, but please refrain from killing the DJ, my love.” You said jokingly to James, letting out a giggle. “I’ll try, darling.” James says sarcastically and laughs.

Ramona and Donovan are having fun dancing to the music, John and Iris are sitting at a table near the bar, Tristan’s by the ledge smoking a cigarette, and Sally’s flirting with the DJ.

You notice Liz and Will Drake having a conversation behind the bar, so you decide to join them. You tell James as you’re quickly pointing at Will, “Baby, I’m going to go thank Will.”

“Ah. As you do, I will make my way to go congratulate John on his recent kill.” James points to where John and Iris are sitting. He gives you a kiss on the forehead and you both part ways.

You start walking towards behind the bar to pour yourself a drink. Will notices you beside him grabbing a glass. “Y/N, happy birthday. What do you think?” He asks, smiling at you, showing his pearly white teeth.

“Mr. Will Drake, you went above and beyond of what I expected. I couldn’t thank you enough!” You reply, putting the glass down to give him a tight hug.

“Don’t worry about it. Hey, it’s your birthday. I’ll pour you a shot!” Will has a glass in his hand, looking almost empty from dark liquor. He takes the glass you grabbed and starts pouring the both of you a shot of your favorite whiskey.

Liz greets you by giving you quick kisses on both cheeks. “Happy birthday, hun.” She gives you an elevator look while saying, “Well hot damn. You look fab today.” 

“Well, thanks to Will and James.” You say to Liz as you’re slowly spinning in a circle to show off your look to Liz. 

She has a martini in her hand and raises it up to cheers, you and Will immediately following after. “To, Y/N.”

“To Y/N”, Will repeats.

The three of you down your drinks. Liz lightly sets her glass on the bar table. Both you and Will slam your glasses on the bar table after chugging that rough shot, your face looking more sour than his.

James appears and sits on the bar stool in front of you. With his naturally loud tone of voice he says, “greetings all!” Being slightly excited that James joins in on you three, you quickly make your way to sit beside him on the bar stool, wrapping your arms around him.

“Since James missed out, lets take another drink!” Will says as he’s grabbing a new glass for James.

“Ah, splendid!” James replies. 

John joins in holding an empty martini glass in his hand, sitting on the other side of James. Liz refills his glass with whatever’s leftover from the shaker, then John nods his head mouthing a ‘thank you’. Right after, Liz refills her own glass.

Once everyone’s glasses are filled, Liz has her martini glass in one hand and the other hand on her waist. She raises her glass and says, “cheers!” John and Will following after.

James kisses you on the cheek. Liz rolls her eyes from being ignored. James whispers in your ear, “happiest birthday to you, my queen.” You let out a big smile, biting your lip, then you turned your head to give James a kiss on the lips. “Thank you, James.”

“Oh, come on love birds. Hurry up and take this drink!” John says, being sarcastically impatient. 

Finally, you’re both ready to join in and everyone attempts to yell out “cheers” at the same time.

……..

The following couple of hours consisted of chatting with everyone and thanking them for coming. You did do some dancing. Of course, James is very old school. So he stayed aside, along with Iris, when you and everyone else were dancing to modern day music. James even put a request for his favorite Benny Goodman song to slow dance with you to it, making you just melt. 

The catering provided was delicious. There was a lot of drinking involved, but you were never the type to get wasted to the point of throwing up and blacking out. You always paced yourself and knew when to stop. Luckily, no one was completely wasted. James even gave you a sip of his absinthe to try and you hated it. 

As always, Ms. Evers was in and out, nonstop cleaning throughout the party. Enjoying every minute of it.

……..

As the night was slowly coming to an end, you were standing by the ledge chatting with Ramona and Sally. James was sitting at the bar, talking with John. James grabbed the nearest utensil laying around which was a butter knife. He tapped his glass to get everyone’s attention, “I need everyone to gather around for me.”

You glanced at James, then looked at Ramona and Sally with a surprised, yet confused look on your face. They both shrugged at you, then everyone made their way to gather around James.

“Dearest, come stand by me.” James puts his hand out for you and you quickly followed standing by him. He puts his arm around your waist and gives you a kiss on your temple. His cane leaning on the bar stool.

“James, wha-” He quickly cuts you off and proceeds to making a speech to everyone.

“I know that Y/N was the one planning on making the ‘thank you’ speech, but since this is my hotel and my queen’s birthday, i’ll speak on behalf of her anyways. I’d like to thank you all for putting your time and effort to attend such occasion. It means a lot to me that you all care for Y/N so deeply.” James smiles and looks at you, then quickly looks forward, continuing his speech. You still stood there confused because it is your birthday, it only makes sense if you speak on it, not James. But you just let him continue to do his thing and didn’t say a word. 

“I couldn’t be more happier with Y/N. Her beauty is impeccable and her soul greatly matches mine. This death of mine, she gives it a purpose.” James pauses. He lightly grabs your chin to look at him, then he does something you did not expect. James gets on one knee. He pulls out a black ring box, reaches his arms out to you, opening the box in front of your eyes. Everyone gasps in surprise, no one has seen this coming at all. You hear a mixture of everyone saying ‘oh my god’ ‘no way’ ‘awww!’ ‘what’ ‘holy shit’. You put your hands in front of your mouth from being surprised, your eyes blinking quickly as you are trying to hold back happy tears. Inside is a beautiful vintage, marquise-shaped, 10-carat diamond ring with smaller stones sparkling around the huge diamond. James looks at you with loving eyes as he asks you, “Y/N, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

You’re nodding your head as your body is shaking from happiness, replying “yes! of course James! yes! A million times yes!” James still being on his knees, you slightly bend over to grab his face to drown him in kisses. As you’re still kissing him, he slowly gets up. He pulls his face away and puts on your ring. “Marvelous!”, James shouted. He has a giant smile on his face. 

“Oh my god, this ring is beautiful!” You said, while being mesmerized by your engagement ring.

“As you are, dear.” James grabs both of your hands and kisses them both.

Everyone is just watching you both in awe. “I’m going to be a Mrs. March!” You look to everyone, then move your engaged hand back and forth to show everyone.  Then, they all crowd closer to you and James to congratulate the both of you.

You really did not see this coming. You’re with James everyday and he hasn’t shown any sign at all. But, you’re ready. You’re more than ready. You cannot wait to be called ‘Mrs. March’.

Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too) (1/24)

Title: Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too)

Genre: Chaptered, fantasy AU, Prince!Phil, Thief!Dan, romance, enemies to lovers, angst and fluff, slow burn (like serious slow burn)

Warnings: some violence, mentions of death (no main characters), dark magic, descriptions of wounds/blood, some hints of sexual scenes (but no actual smut), murder, dangerous situations, stealing/thievery

Summary: Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince of Morellia, Philip Lester has never been given the chance to find love. Instead, he’s run from a system that works to end class differences and improve equality for its citizens. Happy as he is to make the world a better place, Phil can’t help feeling bitter towards his ancestors for making it impossible for him to find someone who will actually love him for more than just his title, and strives instead for a life of justice and doing good - only to meet his match in the King of Thieves, a man who will change everything he once thought he knew in life. Together, they must depart on a quest to save the kingdom, and, in the process, destroy their differences and find their own form of love.

Word count: 240,000+

Updates: Sunday

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The One with the Gender Reveal

oh look! I’m finally back with the next part of baby fever! it’s a miracle!! y’all i’m so sorry this took so long, life is so ugh sometimes. Anyway, here’s the next part of baby fever! there should be 2 more parts after this one!

Summary: With Y/N’s delivery date approaching, Brie and Nikki come over for a little nursing decorating, and throw her a gender reveal party. 

Part one here

Part two here

Part three here

tag list (let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off the list:)) @sammy1dlwt @linoki @alexispoo @justrae9903 @imagines–assemble @rolleignsinstyles @alexahood21 @tooweirdforlifex @chocolate-chip24

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A Growing Belly

A Growing Belly

Jack kept his arms folded behind his back as he spoke with Gabriel. This was an official matter that he and Gabriel were talking about, particularly the risk factors of the mission he and a handful of his Blackwatch agents were heading out on. Gabriel was frowning, rubbing slowly at his beard as he nodded in agreement.

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Out Of Nothing At All - Twenty Three

“Who’s ready to have a baby?”

Apparently you were.

The midwife checked your file quickly.

“Okay Y/N…. Doctor Merrins is still with another patient but we have other doctors on call here in case of any issues so don’t you worry. I’m Annie and I’ll be here for the next six hours so let’s see if I can help deliver this baby for you. I need you to hop up onto the bed now so we can see how we’re doing.”

You climbed up with Spencer’s help, settling down onto the pillows and wincing through another contraction.

“How often are they coming honey?”

You went to open your mouth to tell her that you hadn’t really been counting but Reid jumped in.

“They started at every three minutes but now it’s more like every 70 - 90 seconds.”

You looked at him dumbfounded.

“What!… I started counting when we were in the car. We need to know these things and I figured you’d forget.”

“It’s not that I forgot… I was just in too much…… Oh fucking jesus christ…. pain to keep track.”

“Exactly. So I did it for you…. Team work right?”

Okay… Fair enough. Annie chuckled at you both, before double taking at Spencer. She obviously hadn’t been paying too much attention to the state he was in.

“Hun, what the hell happened to you?”

“Oh…. Um… I was in a car accident a few hours ago. NOT with Y/N. But we were actually on the way home from the hospital when her waters broke.”

“Okay…. You can’t be in here like this. Your clothes are bloody and filthy. Do you have anything else you can change into?”

She had a point although Reid looked mildly offended. He could still have tiny glass particles about his person and there was no way he was holding the baby like that.

You grimaced again, holding on to the side of the bed.

“Our friends have gone to get me a change of clothes as well as her hospital bags.”

“Okay well until then there’s scrubs in the top drawer of that cabinet. Go change in the bathroom and I’ll examine Y/N.”

He made eye contact, checking you were okay for him to leave and you nodded.

Once he’d left the room Annie began her examination, attaching monitors to you before washing her hands and squirting what you could only presume was lubricant onto her hand.

“Sweetie, this will feel uncomfortable. But I need you to relax.”

Uncomfortable was not the word. Having someone you didn’t know putting their fingers inside you whilst your body was contracting was not pleasant at all.

“Okay….. I’m just going to go and grab a doctor?”

“Wait… Why do you need a doctor? What’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong Y/N. It’s just…. you’re already at ten centimetres. Sweetie, you’re ready to start pushing.”

WHAT?

NOOOOO!

Spencer came rushing back through almost colliding with the midwife on her way out. Seeing the panicked expression on your face he quickly rushed to your side.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

You burst into tears. “I’m at ten centimetres….. I’m having a baby.”

“Why are you crying then…. It’ll be over soon.” He smoothed your hair back, his voice gentle.

“Because…. because… We’re having a baby… And it’s going to hurt. And she’s going to cry and I won’t know what to do.. And…. PISSING FUCK WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH…. oh shit… If I’m ten already… I can’t have the druuuuugs!” The last part came out as a wail.

“Spencer, I want the druuugs… I want the epidural.. You’re a doctor. Tell them it’s okay…… ”

He started to chuckle at you again, still stroking your hair.

“Shhhh Shhhh, you’ll be fine. You’ve got to this stage without any medication. You’ve done so well already…and you will know what to do. And if you don’t… We’ll fucking Google it okay. Look at this way, some women are in labour for hours trying to get to ten centimetres. You’ve done most of it without even realising.”

“Yeah because I was distracted by the thought of you dying.”

He laughed again and the midwife returned with a female doctor and another nurse, wheeling a crib with her.

“Hi Y/N… I’m Dr Nicolas. Dr Merrins is still held up and Annie here tells me she doesn’t think you’re going to be able to wait. How are you feeling?”

She perched on the side of the bed as if she had all the time in the word as the nurses hurried around behind her.

“Scared… Exhausted already. Is 37 weeks too early? Also… Can I please have the drugs? I signed up for drugs.”

She patted your hand gently. “If you’re ten already then unfortunately not. We can give you gas and air but it’s likely that by the time any epidural kicks in, this baby will be born. So let’s just see how you go au natural okay? And 37 weeks used to be considered term for a lot of mothers. Baby should be fully grown already and has obviously decided that it doesn’t need those few extra weeks to cook. Do we know what we’re having here?”

“A little girl,” Spencer spoke quietly, his eyes fixed on your bump.

“And it’s the first baby for the both of you?”

You both nodded at her and you shifted uncomfortably as another contraction ripped through you. Dr Nicolas watched the monitor closely before asking, “Are you feeling any pressure Y/N?”

“Yes…. Lots.”

“Okay… That means we’re ready to go.” She hopped off the bed moving to the bottom.

“Next time a contraction comes… I want you to push.”

…twenty five minutes later…

“Come on Y/N… One more push and you’re there. One more.” The doctor looked up at from her spot between your legs.

Panting with exertion you gripped Spencer’s hand tightly, trying to breathe through the intense burning pain that you felt below. You had never felt pain like this before and you were definitely never EVER doing this again. Fuck no.

Reid whispered quietly to you, “You’ve got this Y/N, you’re doing so well. I’m so so so proud of you. One more.”

Annie stood by, ready to place a towel on your tummy for when she was born. You’d been very explicit in the last fifteen minutes that you did not want any baby gunk on you, the doctor and the midwives laughing at you.

Dr Nicolas glanced at the monitor again.  "Okay Y/N… Last one.. The hard part is over. One more big push. Come on.“

You took a deep breath and pushed with all the energy and effort that you could, the pressure intense and horrific…. And then suddenly.. Nothing. Relief. Emptiness.

You heard a gasp from Spencer and opened your eyes to see a pink, slimy looking thing in the doctor’s hands.

Shit…..

A baby. Your baby.

Dr Nicolas stood, placing her on the towel that was quickly put on your chest.  You looked down in awe not quite knowing what to do.

“Does Dad want to cut the cord?”

Dad definitely did want to cut the cord, although you didn’t see him do it. You were too taken in by this little tiny creature that almost seemed to be clinging to you.

Annie reached for her, telling you they were just going to clean her up and weigh and measure her.

Almost as soon as she was removed from your chest, she started to cry. A high pitched squealing that sounded both glorious and horrifying all in one go. Reid sat back down next to you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders both of you too shocked to speak. The doctor continued to work between your legs, cleaning you up and changing the pads. You could barely feel the rest of the contractions now as the birthing process finalised.

“I’m so proud of you Y/N. So very proud.” Spencer pushed your matted hair back off your face, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“6lbs 7. Do we have a name picked out for this little cutie?” Annie asked.

“Saoirse….Saoirse Diana,” Spencer told her. Diana for both his Mother and your Grandmother, the one thing you’d shared.

“Aww how lovely. And the surname?” Her pen was poised ready to write out the tag that would go around her tiny ankle.

“Y/L/N - Reid,” Spencer spoke again looking at you for confirmation.

“Actually…. Just Reid.”

Annie smiled and nodded, writing out the tag.

“Really?” Spencer whispered to you.

“Really.”

“Okay Mom, we’re all done down here now. So if you want to shift up slightly and let Dad on the bed with you, then we can bring little Saoirse back over and you can both have a hold.” Dr Nicolas stood, bundling the soiled towels and sheets away with her as you made room for Spencer.

When you were both comfortable Annie came back over, the tiny bundle now wrapped up with a little pink hat on. You held your arms out awkwardly, Reid’s arm still around your shoulder tightly.

A wave of emotion hit you as she placed the tiny, almost doll like creature into your arms, Spencer gasping again as he got a closer look.

She was so warm and light…. And now that she was in your arms you didn’t want to let her go.

Spencer’s long fingers reached out, softly touching her face, stroking her chin before fingering the soft brown strands of hair that peeked out from under the little cap.
Her full lips pursed, her pink tongue poking out and you giggled, thinking how much like Reid she already was. You turned to him seeing he was doing the same thing.

“Spencer look…..”

“I am…. She’s so perfect Y/N…..I… I can’t believe I made that… We made that. Together.” His voice was croaky and you could hear the emotion in it and see his eyes welling up. A tear escaped from your own, travelling down your cheek.

Spencer turned to you, moving his hand and catching the tear before it fell.

“Thank you….. Thank you so much. I never…..I never thought I could feel this happy, this elated. Y/N, thank you.”

“You’re welcome ….. Spencer?”

“Hmm mm?”

“I kinda think I’m in love with you.” No time like the now right?

His hazel eyes now locked with yours.

“Kinda think?” he asked.

“Alright…. I am in love with you. I’m not sure when or how, but I am. In love with the father of my baby. Who knew right?”

He laughed. “I love you too Y/N. Weird how things work out isn’t it?”

“Very,” you agreed, before tilting your lips to his for a soft, sweet kiss.

Hearing a snuffle you both turned back to the baby snuggled in your arms, just sitting there watching her in contentment for a few minutes, enjoying the moment.

KNOCK KNOCK.

A face poked around the door, Penelope.

“Guys…. Can we come in? The doctor said it was okay.”

You looked at Reid and he nodded and you whispered for him to take Saoirse now, knowing that in a few minutes she’d probably be whipped away from both of you and it was only right that he had a proper hold first.

Penelope let out a quiet squeal, and opened the door, her and the rest of the team crowding around you both. Kate and Rossi placed your bags in the corner and joined them. Even Morgan was there, somehow convincing the doctors to let him come up.

“Spence, Y/N….. She’s beautiful,” JJ gushed, everyone else echoing her sentiments.

Aaron came and stood by your side. “How does it feel?”

“Still no less terrifying than it did all those months ago… But, it feels right, at least now it does.”

Spencer slid of the bed, baby in his arms and the biggest smile on his face, everyone clambering around him to look.

You held your arms up to Aaron for a hug which he returned quickly.

“Thank you, for everything Hotch. You’ve been there for me throughout and I couldn’t have done any of this without you. You’ve been like my surrogate dad and I really hope you’ll continue doing that for us,” you whispered to him quietly, hearing him murmuring his congratulations in response before pulling away. Was that….. was that a tear in his eyes? Nooooo. It couldn’t be.

And yet it was. He smiled at you again before making his way over to Spencer to have a look at the baby he’d seen on screen and felt kick all those weeks ago.

“Guys what’s her name?” Kate asked.

“Yeah…. Did you ever solve the argument of her last name?” Morgan spoke.

“We did….. So welcome to the world… Saoirse Diana Reid.” You grinned seeing the expressions of happiness on the girls faces and the proud grins on the mens. 

It was only later when the team had gone home and Spencer was sitting on the chair in the corner of the room feeding Saoirse with a bottle, that you realised how truly happy you felt.

Maybe you weren’t going to be so bad at this after all.

And with Spencer by your side, you kinda felt like you could do anything.

Plus-one (4)

Hello friends. For those who are just joining me in this journey of Finn & Rae, this is an cross-over of The Wedding Date and My Mad Fat Diary, where our golden boy Finn is an escort. The fic definitely veers off from the plot at some points, but I think it probably stays true to the story for the most part. (There is one line that I’ve taken from the movie, but I’ll point that out at the end) I’ve enjoyed writing this bit for sure and hope you enjoy it too! 

I want to thank everyone that has liked, reblogged and commented on this fic and all of my fics really. It’s such a delight to hear from you all and is much appreciated!!

Let me know what you think, please and thank you. xx

Tagging these wonderful humans - @towongfu2 @milllott @lau-vm @celestev31 @milymargot @jackiewalsh2013 @annemarieted @kneekeyta @kingbeeyonce @fuck-sewing-machine @irish-girl-84 @mmfdfanfic @mykuhkors @i-dream-of-emus @rhi3915 @lovinglifeandlivinglove @nutinanutshell @voodoomarie @rockinthebeastmode @mirandasmadeofstone @protectfinnnelson @hey1tskat1e @eveerez @workinggirl101 @likeashootingstarfades @raeonashadowcaster @arathewallflower @lilaviolet @bitchy-broken @bitchesbecrazy89 @thatfunnygirllauren @emmatationsforall


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[TRANS] Bazaar June 2017 Park Hyungsik Interview

BORN TO BE WILD

Park Hyungsik calmly walked into the Hawaiian nature where sun, wind, fog, and sudden showers changed one another in unparalleled fashion like special effects. A full-fledged 26-year-old actor, who is slowly discovering the taste of acting, without a touch of fear or hesitation explored the unfamiliar world. The diverse Park Hyungsik’s prism that radiates between an innocent boyish face and a wild manly appearance. —-By Editor Kim Areum


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Rescued pt. 2

Summary: After Bucky comes to your aid in a moment of panic you extend an invitation to family dinner. Neither of you could have foreseen how this small act of kindness would alter you, and your life, forever.

Warnings: Mentions of cancer and death, self-harm. Swearing, as always.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count:1481

Author’s Note: You know how pretentious it feels to refer to myself as an Author?!   As always, massive round of applause to the ever lovely @the-pri-experience @tatortot2701 and @bxckytrxsh whom I adore.


PREVIOUSLY

“What are you doing this weekend?”

He looked a bit surprised and taken aback at your sudden question but Tall Dark and Handsome answered honestly, “Nothing. I don’t really have family here so I usually spend holidays alone.” He shrugged, as if embarrassed, and you only became more determined by his answer.

“Good, that settles it then,” you grin up at him. “You’ll have Good Friday dinner with me.” Quickly writing down your address and phone number you shoved the paper in his hands and began to drive away.

You only made it twenty feet before your car screeched to a halt and you called out, “I’m Y/N, by the way!”

Laughing and shaking his head at the turn of events, he replied, “You can call me Bucky.”


The next morning you barely had time for a cup of coffee before the first of your family members began to arrive. Almost everyone lived in-state but because of your central location and five bedroom house, everyone tended to converge here.

Your oldest brother, and a very pregnant Karen, arrived first. Even though he lived the farthest away Jordan always tried to be first to arrive for three reasons. 1) He wanted first dibs on the loft above the garage, by far the best guest space, 2) he could set booby traps for the others, and 3) he rifled through your snack cupboard and hid all the mini eggs so he wouldn’t have to share. 

As he set to work short sheeting the other beds, you set to work making tea for Karen and catching up on all the latest baby and wedding planning news.

You were plating lunch as two trucks pulled up; your other brothers were here. Jack and Michael were the middle kids, identical twins, and always competing. ALWAYS. About e-ver-y-thing. This moment was a perfect example. They lived together but chose to drive separately so they could race.

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SQW Day 3 “GRANDmothers”

Nothing made Regina happier these days than spending time with her Grandbaby. “FFUU-OWIE!” and of course her big baby Emma Swan. All she was missing was her Little Prince though with a daughter of his own she supposes that he isn’t quite that little anymore. That particular thought always brings her to tears so she quickly tries to distract herself.

“What happened, Darling?”

“Got a da-ng splinter from the bench again.” Failing at hiding her amusement from Emma’s knowing gaze leads her to let a chuckle to escape. “It’s not funny. The kid barely talks as it is, why do I gotta censor myself?”

“Children her age are like sponges, they soak up everything as Henry and I have both told you repeatedly.”

“Yeah yeah, I know but still. Out of all the words we say what’s the likelihood of her picking up on the couple bad ones I happen to mutter?”

“Couple? Mutter? Dear, you swear like a sailor and it’s always ‘loud and proud’.”

“Damn straight!”

“Emma!”

“Sorry.” The brunette sighs knowing the blonde really was trying to curb her bad habit, having already caught her more than once catching and correcting herself when alone (or at least thought to be). Her phone begins to ring and she immediately knows it’s Henry, she’s nowhere near ready for their time with the baby to be over with but when her Little Prince was a baby she could never bear to part from him for long either.

She takes a deep breath and answers without even looking at the I.D. “Hello, Henry.” Out of the corner of her eye she sees Emma shake her head at her and turn to talk with their Little Princess. “We’re just about to grab some icecream,” somehow she manages not to laugh at how quick the blonde’s head whipped around to face her again at the mention of the frozen treat, “we’ll walk down to the pier to eat them so you can pick her up there if that’s no trouble.” At their son’s approval she gives her farewell and waits for him to hang-up first, just as she always has.

“I still have no idea how you do that.” Emma says, after they’ve picked themselves up and started to head over to get ice cream.

“Do what, Darling?”

“Always know when it’s Henry who’s calling you, it’s not like you have any specific ringtones. I’ve witnessed you back in your busy Madam Mayor days when you’d receive at least one call from just about everyone in town and still automatically know when it was him.”

“I don’t know how I know that it’s him. I can just feel it, it’s the same way with you too.” She was too proud to say out loud, that the feeling was of home and warmth but at her lover’s “Awwwe” she knew that she understood what wasn’t said. “I can also tell when it’s your mother as i’m immediately filled with dread,” she couldn’t help but smirk at Emma’s “that’s not funny” look, “it’s why I never answer when she calls.”

“Regina!”

________________________________________________________________

After they had gotten their ice cream they started towards the pier, walking and enjoying their treats. Regina with her small sized, vanilla and chocolate swirl, baby sized strawberry in a dish (“Babe, you know just cuz it’s fruit flavored doesn’t make it healthier, right?”) for their grandkid, and Emma with her extra large chocolate.

“Did you really need that much?”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“Absolutely not but I’m greatly implying that you still eat like a child.” As the blonde was about to banter back, she tripped and her dessert went flying.

“SHIT!”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah just tripped.” The ex Sheriff’s lip wobbled, looking back and forth between her ruined ice cream and her girlfriend.

“We don’t have time to go back and get you another one.” Emma pouted at the news, and reached for Regina’s cone, “Absolutely not” the brunette jerked back to protect her treat.

“Buuuuuuuut Giiiinnnnaaaaa!”

“NO!”

Emma turned towards the toddler, “Your Nana is a big meanie. Tell her sharing is caring!” Regina rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the affection she felt for her childish lover.  

“Shhh” came the noise from their Little Princess.

The brunette let out a chuckle, “See, Dear? Even she wants you to be quiet.”

“Shit!” Both adults froze where they were, hoping they heard wrong. “Shit!” A tiny giggle rang out. “Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!” The grandmothers grew incredibly pale as they couldn’t deny what they both heard repeatedly and clear as day.

“Regina, I’m so so-”

“Emma Swan I am going to kill you!”

“Shit!” Both women flinched at the expletive falling from the young girls’ mouth.

“I can fix this! No problem just gotta- Regina?” A choked sob sounded from the older woman. “Babe?”

“Shit!” The Queen couldn’t hold back her tears and began to cry as her breathing increased. Emma had learned how to help and support her lover during panic attacks she had over the years and thus grabbed onto her hands and began to breath deeply while maintaining eye contact. It took nearly ten minutes for Regina to calm her breathing as each “Shit!” knocked back her progress.

“What happened, Regina? I know it’s more than just her picking up on a swear.”

“What if he never lets us see her again?” She practically whispered her anguish.

“What?”

“Henry! What if he doesn’t let us see her because of this!”

“Shit!” both women winced.

“Uh one second.” Emma grabbed the purple sippy cup decorated with crowns, and handed it to the toddler in hopes of distracting her. The little girl took it and began happily drinking unaware of the situation and her grandmothers’ relief of her brief respite from the new addition to her vocabulary. “He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t be happy with me but he wouldn’t take her away just because of a silly mistake.”

“Silly? A silly mistake? What part of this is silly to you, Emma? Our Grandchild is on the path to delinquency and you call it ‘silly’!?”

“Sweetheart, I know you’re upset but I think that’s a bit extreme. She isn’t the first kid to pick up on a bad word and it won’t destroy her future.” The brunette took a deep breath to center herself.

“I know. I’m just so worried.” The savior cupped her girlfriend’s face, wiping the wetness away with her thumbs.

“About what?” The blonde whispered.

“Henry doesn’t need me anymore. He’s all grown up and has his own family now. He doesn’t need his mother.”

“Regina, he will always need you, that I know with all my heart. Just because he doesn’t need you to cook his meals, tuck him in, and kiss his booboos doesn’t mean he doesn’t need you. He will always love you, you will always be his mom and nothing can erase that.”

“Shit!”

“Though if it makes you feel better we can try to fix this?”

“How? Seems like she found her new favorite word.”

“We just gotta distract her and find a new word that she’ll take to and soon she’ll forget all about this one.”

“Shit!”

“Gods I hope you’re right.”

________________________________________________________________

The rest of the walk was filled with trepidation as they drew nearer to meeting up with their son to return his daughter. The ex mayor focusing on her breathing and her lover’s words of encouragement and love, while the younger woman focused on getting their granddaughter hooked on a new, “child friendly” word.

“Shit.”

“Well she doesn’t seem as enthusiastic about it as she was before so that’s something.” .

“Dear, this isn’t working. What are we gonna do?”

“The only thing we can do,” The blonde sighed out “tell him the truth.”

The last few minutes of their journey was a quiet affair other than the occasional “shit”. Looking ahead, they could make out their grown son’s profile even with his back turned to them as he overlooked the water and docks. To Regina, it felt as if she were walking towards her judgement day, the final deciding factor to see if the good she accomplished later in her life made up for the despicable acts she committed.

“Hey, Kid!” The young man turned around, a smile lighting up his face at the sight of his mothers’ and Little Princess.

“Hey, Ma! Hi, Mom!

“Hello, my Little Prince.”

“Watchya looking at, Kid?”

“Just admiring the water and the ships.”

“You’ve always loved looking at the ships.”

“Probably stemmed from my time aboard an actual pirate ship.” He chuckled.

“Ugh, don’t remind me, Kid.”

“Uh, Henry Dear there’s something that your mother and I would like to tell you.” The Queen figured it was best to just get it out of the way and have them tell him over hearing it from the source without any warning.

“What’s up, Mom?”

“Well you see, it’s a funny story actually.” Emma jumped in, seeing how it was her fault she should be the one to tell him.  

“Shhhhh” ‘Oh Gods no!’ Both Grandmother’s minds yelled out.

Henry knelt down next to his little girl. “What is it baby? You got something to say?”

“Uh, well Hen you see-”

“Ship!” Once more both women were frozen, holding their breaths and praying they heard correctly. “Ship!”

“That’s right, Princess!” Henry beamed as he lifted her up and settled her on his hip. “Those are ships!” He felt so proud of her as he pointed over to the boats.

“Ship! Ship! Ship! Ship!” Emma let out the breath she had been holding as Regina promptly fainted, luckily right into her Savior’s arms.

“MOM!?”

“She’s fine, Kid. It’s just been a terribly exciting day and I think it wore your mother down. Just give her a minute.” Picking her up bridal style, she carried her passed out girlfriend to a nearby bench as their son and granddaughter continued to look over at the boats and the sea. Soon enough the brunette opened her eyes and took a moment to gather herself.

“What happened?”

“You fainted.” At Regina’s confused look she elaborated, “The Little Princess switched up her favorite word just in the nick of time and I think you just got too overwhelmed. The brunette immediately relaxed and thanked the heavens for their luck.

“Emma.”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever cuss in front of her again, I’m gonna cut out your tongue.” Emma took a few moments to process the threat then nodded her head.

“That’s fair.”

BONUS:

A few days later, saw Regina and Henry preparing dinner as the toddler sat in her highchair and munched on some tiny pieces of watermelon. Working perfectly in sync, the two brunettes practically danced around the kitchen in their element, reminiscing over memories of cooking lessons. They were laughing over all the food he had managed to burn, when it happened. Watermelon falling to the floor as the little girl became too playful with her food.

Looking over the side of her chair she said the one thing Regina had hoped she’d never hear coming from her mouth ever again. “Shit!” The Grandmother’s mouth dropped open and became completely speechless as her eyes flickered between her son and grandbaby.

Henry’s cheeks turned pink as he took on a sheepish demeanor and started rubbing the back of his neck. “Oops?”

Flabbergasted over his lack of surprise and response had her unable to say anything other than repeat his last word. “Oops?”

“Uh yeah,” He let out a nervous chuckle “about a week ago I stubbed my toe. I guess some of Ma’s bad habit wore off on me as I accidently let loose the s-word. Little miss sponge over here” tickling the little girls feet had her giggling and helped him relax a little before continuing, “soaked it up and now won’t let it go. I don’t know what to do” his shoulder’s slump in resignation “Do you think- Does this make me a bad father?”

Seeing her little boy like this, stuck her to the core. How could her wonderfully perfect boy ever think he could even possibly be a bad parent? “Of course not, Little Prince!” She spoke vehemently. “She’s not the first child to pick up on a bad word. It’ll take time but she will forget it.”

“So, I’m really not a bad father for having this happen?”

“Not at all, after all it was just a silly little mistake.”

“Thanks, Mom” He smiled knowing his mother would always be there for him.

“So uh, Henry you said this happened last week?”

“Yeah.”

“Before your other mother and I last spent some time with her, when we went for that walk?”

“Uh..yeah, why?”

“No reason.” She said quickly and spun back around to continue working on dinner.

Never Alone

Summary: You grew up in the foster system being bounced from home to home leaving you with abandonment issues. Dean eventually gets fed up with how clingy you are being and leaves the bunker for drinks and comes back to find you in a very fragile state.

A/N: Hello people of Tumblr!! It has taken forever for me to get an idea for anything to write without having it feel forced! I got the idea for this after watching last week’s episode of Scorpion and I knew I had finally found something to write about. Apologies in advance if it seems repetitive or scattered i spots. It’s nearly 6:30 AM and I have yet to get any shut eye. Revisions to come. On another note, I’m finally feeling some ideas come to me for “Whiskey Confessions” and “Who to Choose” thank Cas! Requests are always open so feel free to send anything my way!

Warnings: mentions of abandonment, no editing, mentions of depression, self harm (if you ever need to talk and want to stay anon send an ask my way I will always listen), angst.

… 

The nightmares were back.

You don’t understand why. Everything had been going so well lately, there was no reason for any of your past to be flooding your mind. Hunts with Sam and Dean had never gone smoother and your relationship with Dean was as perfect as you could imagine. So why were you having nightmares of the brothers leaving you?

Of course Cas found out on his last visit. No matter how many times you tell him that reading a person’s mind is inappropriate he never seemed to listen. Cas had visited after the first nightmare had happened and seen the flashes from your childhood play through your mind. Flashes of going home to a new family only to have them bring you back to the foster home not even a month later with claims of you seeking more attention then you could be given.

Later in the evening Cas pulled you aside to make sure that you were alright and you had to beg him not to tell the brothers about your nightmares, especially Dean. You had managed to keep your past a secret from the Winchesters for this long and you didn’t want that to change. And you could only imagine what Dean would do if he found out that you craved more attention than the average girl when everyone knows Dean Winchester is not typically the committed relationship kind of guy. You weren’t ready to put Dean into that position.

Cas reluctantly agreed to keep your secret safe under the condition that he was allowed to check on you while you sleep until things started to get better. While it might be hard to explain to Dean why Cas is watching you sleep you were happy that he was willing to keep your secret.

The only problem was that the nightmares went from just memories of the many families and homes to images of Dean leaving you behind one night after you try to get to close to him and Sam leaving with him.

It was all you could do not to wake Dean up in the middle of the night. You could swear that man slept like a rock once he fell asleep. Not once has he woken up to your body shaking with silent sobs and wet from the cold sweat that would start in your sleep. He never even woke when you went into the bathroom to wash your face up and make yourself look as though everything was perfectly fine.

What you didn’t know was that Dean had noticed that you were getting less sleep. And he especially noticed that you were starting to get more clingy than when you had first started dating.

It had never bothered you when Dean left your table to go get a second round of drinks from the bar or when he would go on supply runs by himself in the beginning of your relationship. But now? Now you were always trying to go with him to the bar and you were constantly texting him or calling him whenever he wasn’t with you. Dean didn’t have a problem with it at first but when you started clinging onto his arm at the bar and when he started getting texts from you before he had even made it to sitting behind the wheel of Baby he started to get irritated.

Dean was so irritated by your behavior that instead of asking what was wrong he just tried harder to get space from you. He would come up with random reasons to leave the bunker, none of which ever included you, and he had even started to shut his phone off after he left.

One night after a supply run he turned his phone on only to see over 50 unread texts from you along with 10 missed calls. Enough was enough.

Dean came storming into your shared bedroom with anger practically radiating from his skin. His eyes were a darker hunter green instead of the normal, welcoming electric green that you had come to love. And in that moment you knew it was going to be your childhood all over again.

“JUST FOR ONCE IN GOD KNOWS HOW LONG I WANTED SOME SPACE TO CLEAR MY HEAD!” Dean roared at you from the doorway. 

You hung your head and prepared yourself for the oncoming storm that you knew would hit sooner or later.

“I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you lately Y/N but I’m done with it. I’m leaving to have a drink and while I’m gone I had better not get a single text or call from you. I mean it Y/N don’t text or call otherwise we are done.”

And then Dean Winchester walked out on you.

At first you wanted to call him and apologize and try to talk to him, to fix things. Then his ultimatum played through your thoughts and you knew that wasn’t an option. So instead you sat in a crumpled pile on your bed and recalled every time you had ever been rejected.

Every time that you had been rejected at the foster home by other kids, unable to make any friends. Every time a family came looking for a lucky kid to take home and it never being you. Every time that you had been lucky enough to be a part of a family only to be brought back about a month later because the parents couldn’t deal with how much attention you wanted.

You had truly thought things would be different now that you had grown up. But obviously some things never changed.

Eventually you found the energy to make your way to the bathroom where you found your knife that you always had hidden just in case of emergencies. Before you could register what you were doing you had deep gashes across your arms and blood was everywhere. 

Slowly everything around you slipped away as you lay on the bathroom floor with the images of Dean leaving you alone with anger the only emotion on his face flooding your head. 

You have no clue how long you stayed like that but eventually someone came crashing through the door of your bedroom then the bathroom to find you in a crying, bloody heap on the floor. The only words that were coherent in between your sobs were “Dean” and “Gone” and “Alone again”.

You felt someone start to wrap their arms around you and at first you tried to shy away from the stranger because the only person you wanted to be held by had left for the bar without looking back. Next thing you heard was the flutter of wings leaving followed by thunderous footsteps a few minutes later.

You vaguely heard Dean calling your name frantically from the hallway but you were so convinced that he was only here to tell you he was leaving you that you fell further in on yourself and sobbed harder. The last thing you had expected was Dean to sit down next to you and pull you into his arms, his own eyes shimmering with tears that had yet to make their escape upon seeing you exactly how Cas had described. Completely broken and not letting anyone console you other than him.

Once you realized that Dean was the person trying to console you now all you could do was bury your face into his chest and sob.

After sitting curled in Dean’s lap long enough for your tears to run dry, Dean picked you up and carried you to the bed and began looking at your self inflicted wounds and broken demeanor and failed to hold back some tears of his own. 

“I’m so sorry Dean. I never should’ve sent so many texts or tried to glue you to my side. I never wanted you to see this part of me,” you said softly with a shaky breath as new tears threatened to fall. Unable to look at the man you loved wholeheartedly as he stitched the cuts on your arms.

You didn’t dare look at the man next to you for fear of seeing looks of anger or pity on his face. You had never wanted him to find out about your fear of abandonment. And then it dawns on you.

“What are you doing back from the bar so soon? I thought I was being to much to bear so why rush back?” you asked Dean with sorrow in your voice.

Dean had been silent ever since he found you in the bathroom and now was the point where you were almost certain he was going to say that he was leaving you behind just like all those families did in your childhood.

“Cas found me at the bar and said you were in trouble and you wouldn’t see anyone but me.I didn’t even drive Baby back I just had him zap us here to the bunker. He had described you as being broken before I came in here and now I see why. Y/N, why were you saying my name with the words ‘gone’ and ‘alone again’?” Dean asked in a hushed voice after he finished the stitches, moving to sit next to you on the bed.

“There’s a reason I never talk about my past, my childhood in particular. It’s just to painful to think about let alone talk about. I grew up and was moved from one foster home to another, being taken in by families looking to adopt only to have them take me back to a foster home a month later because they could never handle how much attention I wanted from them. Before I went into the foster system my mother would leave me alone for weeks at a time while she was off gallivanting with some random man and then when she finally did come home it was as though I was never there. I had been doing good for so long but the memories started showing up in nightmares a few weeks ago. That’s why I started getting so clingy to you, I was terrified that you were going to leave me one night and never come back but I didn’t want to tell you all of this because I was sure it was only going to last a few days and I thought I would have a handle on it this time and not go off the deep end like I did. Like I always do.” you confessed slumping against the head board. Your confession leaving you feeling small, alone, and vulnerable. 

Dean was silent for a very long time. You just listened as he tried to find the right words to say, not daring to look at him now that your biggest secret was out in the open. Now you were going to find out whether Dean loved you enough to stay or if he was going lo leave you like everyone else in your life had. But what Dean did next took you by surprise.

Dean didn’t say anything as he pulled you into his lap and placed a kiss on your head. His breathing had become shaky and your head was slightly damp. His grip on you was secure enough that you could barely twist to wipe the tears away from his eyes.

“I wish you had told me sweetheart. I never would have been such a dick to you. And to think of the way I talked to you earlier, how I screamed at you. I never want to leave you Y/N. Not ever. I didn’t know how to deal with you becoming clingy out of the blue like that and I hope you can forgive me. I love you so much Y/N and I promise I’m not going anywhere.” Dean let out in a rush. 

You braved a peak at his face and saw Dean already staring at you, the most pained look in his eyes as he obviously blames himself for the night’s events.

Fresh tears spring to your eyes as you reach up to brush his away.

“Of course you’re forgiven, you did nothing wrong. Don’t blame yourself for this happening Dean. Don’t you dare. I’m the one who didn’t talk to you about what was going on. This is my fault. I’m so so sorry and I hope that you’ll forgive me for letting things get to this point.” 

Dean didn’t say anything in response to your apology. Instead he pressed his lips to yours in the softest, warmest, most loving kiss you had ever had. And in that moment, you knew that you were never going to be alone again.