i felt like it was talking to me personally

Okay, beans. I’ve been debating this for a couple of days, but I think it’s time I addressed it. I’m really sorry, normally I don’t do this, but I think it’s important to talk about.

An anon has been sending me messages for the last couple of days and they haven’t been very nice. It’s in regards to something in the fandom, but I don’t want to talk about that because I don’t want to be a part of any discourse. I’ve been steadily deleting their messages, but they did accidentally send me one off-anon. I have messaged that person to please stop, and they didn’t respond back, but today I received this:

Now, the ONLY REASON I am bringing this up at all is because this line of thinking is not okay. Anon hate is never okay, but bringing in my deafness to get me to respond to your previous angry messages is especially cruel. 

You’re not bothering me by disliking something I wrote about. If I was mad or upset, I would have published your un-anon ask, but I didn’t want to do that to you and drag you into a comment battle with other people, as your message was really mean.

However, my concern is that if this person encounters someone else like me, they’ll say something like this and it will be really hurtful. In this message, this anon is treating my deafness as a joke, an “insert eye-roll here” and that ISN’T okay. I literally do not give one single fuck about what you think of my fics, but this bothers me. It shows the inherent thinking of “deafness is a joke.”

Don’t use something like this to insult someone. It’s not fair, it’s not okay, and to the wrong person, this could be really hurtful. Have I heard worse? Of course. But I do hope the person(s?) who have been messaging me see this and realize this is not the way to go about getting someone to engage in hostility. I won’t argue with you or publish your asks.

Dislike my fandom preferences all you want, but please don’t bring my deafness into your argument.

GUH

I WENT BACK TO THE FUCKING GYM

it’s been at least a year and I don’t feel like looking up how much longer – I had missed sessions because of travel and I was hitting a really frustrating plateau, probably in part because of missed sessions, and then renewing my pass required two in-person interactions

anyway, as happens with me, the longer I went without taking care of it the more humiliating the prospect of doing so became

BUT! sometime in that interval the rec center implemented online renewal! so I didn’t have to talk to anybody!! like… no fuckin excuse now!

and praise Swole Jesus, they replaced the dinky half-rack and one of the Smith machines with two proper power racks so you can actually have two people doing squats at the same time, what a concept

it felt really good to be back and I know that my lifts are not as embarrassing as I think they are, they’re just low compared to my PRs, which, duh

in case anyone’s curious

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Your posts cause heartache and excitement all at the same time. I adore your muse and I adore you. You are an amazing person and an amazing writer. I'll always be happy that I hit the follow button when I did that time ago even though we don't talk. You've made Laslow/Inigo into a character that is more than some lame womanizer or meme. He's a person and one with a large heart at that. Sorry, I felt I needed to convey this at the most random of time. But you're both admirable.

       d’aww, this really made my day. i read it just as I was walking out the door to go back to work, and  ?? honestly i can’t thank you enough for sticking with me for what seems like a hella long time  ?? i’ve been in this fandom for more than a year developing my boy and there are still things that i’m building upon him and having a fandom to give feedback, and more importantly one who loves the way i hash him out means a whole lot to me  ? like this lil message probably took like five minutes out of your day and i just appreciate that you took the time to just … i dunno, share your admiration for my inigo  ?? ‘cause truly i’m so proud of how he’s turned out and i’m confident in my portrayal and i’m just,,,, really glad that you agree.

so thank you. and if you ever did wanna hmu like ….. feel free to IM me anytime ;;w;; tysm for your kind words i may have actually teared up gdi

anonymous asked:

i don't want to sound rude, but you really didn't have to be so harsh to that person about the glass thing like all they were doing was saying you were misinformed and they weren't even rude about it like they just wanted to point it out there was no need for you to be so bitter about it

I’m sorry if I came off as harsh, that wasn’t my intention at all! Honestly, it was late and I get crabby when I’m tired. So, to that person, I’m sorry for being harsh.

I guess what frustrated me and made me react how I did was how they didn’t read either of my comments fully before responding. They assumed that I got my information from an urban legend, rather than a physics textbook and class like I had said, so I was defensive because I felt like they were talking down to me and felt the need to continue arguing after I had said hey, this is something I learned from a trustworthy source and not the internet. I will readily admit that I do not know much about the subject, which is why I basically said we would agree to disagree, because I don’t still have the book that made the claim to substantiate it, nor could I find trustworthy research on the internet (it was all from blogs that I saw). I wasn’t going to continue engaging in an argument which I was not prepared to engage in, but I am sorry if I expressed that in a harsh or rude way. 

no u know. melody made it out like if i didnt comfort them Every time they werent doing good i was bad and awful.

they got mad at me for comforting them and then talking abt a thing i liked.

and i get needing attention and reassurance is a bpd thing. i have bpd i know this.

but melody made it so if i wasnt comforting them each time i was an uncaring terrible person/partner

and the thing is… theyd do the exact same thing to me. sometimes without even talking to me when im in a bad place

like… “i expect everyone to pat my ass even tho i cant put forward the effort to return my demands”

and like. them pulling that made me so paranoid and anxious and i felt like they fucking hated me and yet i wasnt allowed to leave/cut off lmaaoooo

BRUTAL HONESTY HOUR
  • A - If I’m in love.
  • B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.
  • C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.
  • D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.
  • E - How many holes I have in my ears.
  • F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’
  • G - The last person I said 'I love you’ to.
  • H - The last person I hugged.
  • I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.
  • J - Are you insecure. What about?
  • K - What my full name is.
  • L - If I have siblings.
  • M - If I forgive betrayal.
  • N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.
  • O - If I like my school.
  • P - What kind of music I like.
  • Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.
  • R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.
  • S - 2 habits.
  • T - 5 things I love unconditionally.
  • U - How many texts I send daily.
  • V - 3 big dreams.
  • W - An idol.
  • X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.
  • Y - If I like my town and why.
  • Z - Ask any question you want.
Brutally honest hour.

A. If I’m in love

B. Last person I talked on the phone with

C. How long has it been since I’ve kissed?

D. If I have a preference for boys or girls?

E. How many piercings?

F. Give me any options like “hot or cold”

G. Last person said “I love you” to

H. Last person I hugged

I. Last time I felt jealous and why

J. Are you insecure? What about?

K. My full name

L. Siblings?

M. If I forgive betrayal?

N. Favorite animal?

O. Where I’d like to travel?

P. Music I like

Q. Favorite flower

R. Is cheating ever okay?

S. 2 hobbies

T. 3 things you love unconditionally

U. Favorite time of the year and why?
V. Big dreams?

W. If I’ve done something I regret very much

X. 3 turn ons

Y. 3 turn offs

Z. Ask any question you want

nothing hurt more than when I saw a picture of you and her. You barely ever took photos with me, let alone post them. And here you were posting pictures with this girl you barely knew, and I tried not to hate her, I tried not to hate you. But my insides felt like they were ripping apart at the sight of  you. And I knew this was going to happen eventually, I guess I was just hoping it wouldn’t.  
and its just so fucking pathetic, while I’ve spent all this time missing you.. you spent it with her. You never even thought of me once.
And all I can fucking do is imagine the way that you talk to her, its probably the same way I talked to you., like you were made out of the sun or something.
And I just don’t fucking understand how one person can leave such a huge mark on you when you can’t even leave a fucking scratch on them. Because you left me and I still see you every fucking where, and I never made you feel a damn thing. you never even cared for me.
I just want it to stop, I want it all to stop. I want to stop feeling every burning fire for you. I want to stop thinking of every word you said to me, I want to stop analyzing every little part of our relationship in trying to figure out where the fuck we went wrong because I get it now. I understand..
a relationship is always doomed to end in heartbreak when there is one person who loves more and in our case, I was always the one who loved more, and now it just hurts so bad because you love her. You love her even though I wanted you to love me.. even though I gave you every fucking piece of me. You chose her.
It will never be me and you. I was never enough, and the thought of that alone breaks me into a million pieces, so how the fuck am I supposed to feel when I realize why I wasn’t enough. When I see the face of the girl who was enough..
—  I don’t think I’ll ever get over you

The responses to @enoughtohold’s post about how weird straight ppl react to someone casually outing themselves are so telling like they think lgbt ppl constantly do this dramatic ‘I have to tell you something very personal, I am a Homosexual!’ to every new person they meet like do you not understand that everytime I talk about my regular day to day life I have to either say 'my wife/my gf’ or lie??

So here is some advice: if someone you’re close with tells you somewhat formally that they are coming out to you as lgbt then you say 'I’m so glad you felt comfortable sharing that with me, I love you’ and if someone you (clearly) barely know says 'so yeah I have to go in a bit because I’m meeting my <same gender partner>’ you say 'ok cool see you tomorrow’ or whatever. Like someone casually mentioning their gay relationship isn’t the moment to go all out with your ally bullshit, they’re not Coming Out to you they’re just talking about their lives

It’s getting bad again– I was doing okay for a little while, going out, meeting new people, working and distracting myself in any way. But when I’m struggling and find myself in difficult situations and need to feel like there’s somebody behind me, somebody there for me when I’m overwhelmed and scared, I turn around and remember you aren’t there anymore.

Sometimes I feel like I’m going to break, but I’m strong and I know I’ll get through it. It’s not a matter of being dependent on another person to feel secure, but I miss knowing you were that person who knew how to talk me down when my anxiety and panic attacks got out of control, held me and calmed me down when I needed it. How you always knew when to cheer me up or when to just listen to me be upset or sad or however I felt.

I’m trying really hard to let it go and move on, some days are easier than others. Nights can be rough. But how does someone just let go of that? How do you forget about somebody you allowed in your life, opened up to and let yourself become completely vulnerable with without fear?

Now it’s just me and I’ll do just fine. But you were my person. I don’t know how much longer it’ll take for me to be okay with the fact that you’re not there anymore.

—  aftertheam, Things I’ll never say to you
2

Big Girl Appreciation Day 👑

Right: June 2014
I just turned 19 , finished my first year of college and was working in retail for my very first time . I was extremely stressed from school/work and depressed that I tried to kill myself on March 19th , 2015 . Nobody knew I was dealing with depression because I’m the type of person who always had a smile on my face everyday . I felt like nobody in the world such as my family and friends would care if I talked to them about it that’s why I didn’t try but I was completely wrong .

Left: Present ( 2016 )
Today , I am extremely blessed to be able to have another opportunity to live and make it to see 21 this past summer . A lot has changed for me in 2 years , my self-esteem and the love I have for myself have improved so much . I had lost a few friends but I gain new ones and even a relationship . I’m just so proud of myself that I have overcome my depression and no longer afraid to ask for help . I know I am still a working progress but just know I am a beautiful black queen who can overcome anything thrown my way .

I am a ball of emotions after this chapter, every word Touka said, every honest feeling she delivers,,—how she gives Amon advice/helps him to have courage and go see Akira, speaking about her own personal feelings and fears, the exchange of thoughts.. the way Amon feels about the fact she’s rabbit but doesn’t blame her, he understands the circumstances&the other side of the story, honestly..  everything about this talk with Amon was everything I ever wanted and never expected.

Phone Call from Julian 2016
Max T. and Julian (the Janitor) Koster
Phone Call from Julian 2016

JULIAN CALLED ME AND HE WAS SUCH A SWEETHEART!!!!!!!!!!

I’m still freaking out that was seriously the best 6ish minutes of my LIFE.
I managed to record it, so there’s not much to say about the call that you can’t hear for yourself, but overall, just, oh my goodness what a lovely person. He was so polite and friendly and it felt like talking to your best friend. Not to mention, he’s SUCH a good storyteller, something about the way he speaks is just so powerful and pulls you right in to listen, I couldn’t ignore any of his jokes. (Yes, plural, he told me THREE jokes!!) 

I didn’t get to ask him some questions like I had hoped, (I was planning on trying to get some show-related info for the fans) but I did at LEAST get to compliment him, which you’ll hear. He said I had a nice voice and I said that he did too, and that he should be on the radio, and he got SO flustered and grateful, it was heartbreakingly adorable to hear him be so happy that someone WANTED him to be on the radio. <3<3<3 What a cinnamon roll… #protectJulian2K16

Anyway, enjoy the audio, he was absolutely lovely to talk to and it really made my day. <3

(And BTW, @ichigo-otokonoko, yes of COURSE I got him to say hi to you like you wanted <3 Anything for you my darling ^u^ Love you, enjoy!!)

I LOVE THE FACT THAT BAEKSOO ARE BEST FRIENDS it just makes me so happy like their platonic love for eachother should not be disregarded bc yall think ksoo hit baek bc he hates him lmao remember showtime days where they did that one interview together as mcs i feel like baek did most of the talking bc he felt ksoo was still a bit camera shy n i appreciated that alot and also that time where ksoo hugged baek at the airport, he was getting alot of hate at that time:( their personalities kind of balance each other out but from other exo member accts ksoo could be as 4D as baek and i think that’s beautiful…get u a best friend that can play around but still love u and support u as much as baeksoo……

But with him, it felt like everything will be okay even if it’s not. With his words, it felt like I’m always secure. Whenever I will hear his voice, and everytime I’ll browse through the pictures of him I have on my phone, I see everything I’ve ever hoped for. And it hurts, that he will never feel that way towards me.

I will never be the person he constantly misses.
I will never be the person he can’t go on a day without talking to.
I will never be the one he has to say goodnight before going to sleep.
I will never be the one he’ll be comfortable sharing anything with.
I will never be the risk that he’s willing to take.
I will never be the one he likes or the one he could possibly love.
I will never have his heart.

And I guess it’s really a hopeless case. It’s like I am the sun and he’s the sea. I will always drown with him every sunset. I will always rise with him every sunrise. But that’s all it is. We look good together but the sun can’t really touch the sea. They can never be. And I guess that’s a reminder for me, that that’s how we will always be.

We can’t.
We aren’t.
And we can never be.

justaddcoffeetome  asked:

Sam, I learned tonight that Warren Buffet plays the ukulele, and I felt like you were the kind of person that should know that, if you didn't already. Also, thank you for sharing about how net worth is valuated - that was surprisingly relevant to my current work life and gave me something to talk about with my finance department :D.

WARREN BUFFETT, MY FAVORITE BILLIONAIRE. Oh my god.

Look at this oldmanchild playing his ukulele with the coke-bottle sound hole. 

LET ME TELL YOU SOME SHIT ABOUT WARREN BUFFETT

He lives on coca-cola, Utz potato sticks, and ice cream, because he looked at the actuarial tables and found that six-year-olds have the lowest mortality rate. Also his son Howard is a farmer. Just a straight-up gentleman farmer. Warren’s like “Well yes I hope Howard will take over as chair of Berkshire Hathaway when I die but let’s be clear he’ll be a figurehead because he’s a farmer, not a financial genius, so he’ll be like, the moral compass of the company.” 

This is why I, myself, am the Warren Buffett fandom, a fandom of one. (Unless you count a lot of gross investment advisors which I don’t because they’re not really in the Warren Buffett fandom, they’re in the money fandom, he’s just a BNF in the money fandom.) 

anonymous asked:

Then other people need to get a grip cause that's disgusting

What’s disgusting about looking for representation and believing in a love story you wish could be true? You know I’m gonna talk about personal experience here - when I was 14 and I started realizing that I liked girls I felt completely alone. Nobody at my school was out, there was absolutely no LGBTQ representation on tv (especially in France) and even though I have a lovely family, I never completely felt like I could be myself around them. You know what saved me? What made me feel that I could actually meet someone and fall in love and have a normal life? Tumblr. The day I discovered tumblr, everything changed for me. When I realized that other people felt the exact same way as me and loved the same movies and tv shows and that we were actually millions looking for that representation and just the feeling to belong somewhere. I’ve shipped a lot of pairings over the years, some fictional, some non-fictional and you wanna know what they all have in common? They bring people together, they make us talk, share, make connections and most importantly they make us feel less alone. So when with a simple tweet, simple words, that I’m sure Lauren never meant as bad ones, she reduces this experience, those connections, those hopes and the representation we created, into something that it’s not, it hurts. So for someone who’s fragile, who’s feeling alone and scared of being who they are, to be suddenly feeling like they’ve done something wrong, something that hurt people like Lauren and Camila whom they love and admire, yeah it can break them, cause guilt is a powerful thing, especially if you’re already in a difficult place in your life.

when you’re watching band of brothers for the first time and you don’t know anyone’s name except like 3 guys and you get so mcfreaking attached to the funny dude who tried the krout cheese and hated it and the funny dude’s friend and the dude who wants a luger and that one dude who fought the other dude and the brass knuckles dude and the guy the redheaded dude told not to gamble who got shot in the ass then ep7 comes along and it’s just like

okay so i wanna talk about how yuri decided to keep skating next season during the inner monologue of his free skate. like a lot of people attribute yuri deciding to continue to skate because he watched yurio’s performance and felt so inspired and stuff, but honestly, i’d argue that yuri already decided to keep skating the second he stepped onto the ice for his final rendition of yuri on ice.

Keep reading

“You were supposed to be my friend!”

“You don’t want a friend, you want a doll. Someone that will always be there for you, always happy to listen, who freezes and stops existing when you don’t need them and I’m sick of being that person!”

The silence rang.

“I - I didn’t know you felt like that.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t know all that much about me, do you? Probably because we always talk about you.”