i felt like it needed its own post for extra happiness

This is my traumatic birth story and I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable so pls don’t read if you are sensitive to this stuff but I had to get it out thanks to Yukimura. 

I know no one probably cares or will read this but, man…Yukimura’s life story and current Divine Bride Epilogue really hits home for me personally. I just need to get this out for myself. And my own feelings. 

I knew from early on in my pregnancy that I would have trouble giving birth. I just had this feeling, I can’t explain it. I LOST weight during pregnancy, though my doc said “You’re my star patient! So healthy!” I couldn’t eat. I was thinning out like crazy except for my tummy and felt weak. I ate, MAYBE, a single piece of toast a day and I would probably puke that up. I wish I was exaggerating.  

I know we don’t always know…but I knew. I kept asking my OBGYN questions, “can you do an extra ultrasound” “what about a C-Section? Should I have one?” etc but she would not listen. Always brushed it off. “You won’t have a C-Section it’s very rare.” Because I was thin…I was “healthy.” *rolls eyes* 

When it came time to actually give birth it was terrible. No matter who you are, the pain is terrible. That aside, it took me close to 30 hours, with no sleep, because every few moments I had to keep switching positions because my sons heart rate would drop and the nurses were rushing in to move me into a new position. 

Bless the nurses, by the way. I remember each and every one of them, as they switched shifts. They held my hand, they talked to me and joked with me. When I got a personal card from my favorite one I broke out crying at home. Anyway…

It was a terrible process. When it came “time” to push, it just wasn’t happening. It is mostly a blur but I believe I pushed for 3 hours. 3. Fucking. Hours. ( again, my labor was over 30 hours) I cried. I wanted a fully natural birth but that had slipped from my hands a long time ago. My husband was next to me encouraging me every step of the way. They used the vacuum on my son in a desperate attempt but it only caused more damage. 

Finally, the delivering doctor admitted we were in danger. There was no other option but an emergency C-Section. In a matter of minutes we were whisked away to the operating room. I remember the fear I felt, when they asked my husband to wait outside while they prepped me in the OR. (I have been in the medical field personally and been interested in it since I was very young, wanting to be a doctor and my mother ran a clinic. I did sports medicine for years and i KNOW THE SMELL OF BETADINE.)  I felt so alone and terrified. 

When they finally cut me and began operating I could feel it. I guess they didn’t give me enough drugs but I looked to the anesthesiologist and said “I can feel  their hands digging inside me” (LOL it hurt but whatever I could deal with it) and he upped my dosage. 

They let me see my son for a moment. Less than 5 seconds…..just a glimpse of his blue face….before they took him away from me. I didn’t even get to hold him…Just a flash of his face. My husband and I will never forget the sound of his first cry and that was the greatest sound in the world! 

No one would tell me what was going on. 

“He needs some extra help so we are taking him to the NNICU” 

That was all I got. All WE got. No one would talk to me. No one would tell me what was going on with my baby. 

I got an infection and stayed a week longer in the hospital than was normal, but I don’t care because I got to visit my son in the NNICU. He was in there the whole time, hooked up to many wires and tubes…his little feet were full of poke wounds from getting his blood. I don’t want to go too much into it…

Taking him home was the greatest day of my life. 

And now, he is a healthy and happy boy who LOVES animals of ANY kind, cars, and snuggles. 

I am alive. 

The doctor told me, in the hospital, that he was just TOO large for me. I am small and he was a very large baby. “He got stuck. We got him out to his shoulders and that’s all we could do…there was no other way we could pull him out, he would not fit.” 

He explained to me, that had they not done the emergency C..we both would have died. BOTH of us…And extremely sobering thought. 

My regular OBGYN was not ‘on-call’ during my delivery. Even so. She admitted to me “had we done a 3rd trimester ultrasound I would have seen how much larger he was than what your small frame could handle (:” 

Oh, WOW. like WHAT I FUCKING ASKED FOR. 

????

Gosh, this got long. But either way, it still hits home. Every day I thank my lucky stars that I was born in a time that modern medicine could save us both. I don’t blame Yukimura for being cautious. You should be. Birth is NOT an easy and beautiful process and anyone that has birthed a child will agree. It is SCARY. 

Reading things like that just makes me so grateful. I know we all strive for natural…but I am forever in the debt of the people that helped me along the way and kept me and my son alive. 

I could post pictures of my son hooked up in the NNICU but I have posted pics of him before on my popular blog and been paranoid so I wont. And don’t even get me started on PPD because I felt so terrible not being able to properly give birth. 

Anyway, as much as voltage upsets me sometimes with its bullshit on ‘rape’ etc…I am extremely grateful to have a character that can relate to a rough birth. I would NEVER want my son to feel bad for me passing and him living. EVER. I will give my life a million times over for my child. Hands down. And also seeing my husband being so aware of the dangers at the time and worrying about it made me cry. 

Bless this. Bless this event. I know it is more rare than anything but I am thankful that they gave me a backstory I can connect with. I can’t explain how hard this is to cope with as a mom and I know if Yuki was my son I would just want him to know that he is the only thing that mattered to me. 

And again If he was my husband. I don’t care if I die, though it IS scary, of course. I do my part for my family, I know the risks, and I want them to both live a happy life and smile. 

Can’t Fight This Feeling

IMAGINE: (Y/N) and Steve are in a secret relationship. They don’t want to publicise their relationship in fear of their friends reactions and questions. But what happens when someone can’t fight their feelings anymore? 

[gif is not mine. creds to the owner. this is a bit wordy but made up for it in fluffy goodness. this story is part of the poetry series, this time based on ‘you’ by land leav.]

warnings: none

word count: 2.3 k+


‘There are people I will never know

And their lives will still ensue;

Those that could have loved me so

And I’ll never wonder who…’

The sound of the New York traffic was heard from below, (Y/N) turned over on her stomach still reading the book in her hand. She flipped the page once and looked at the time, 2:53 am. Like clockwork her door opened and Steve popped his head in, he gave her a smile and closed the door softly.

 “Hey you,” she greeted as she sat up, placing her book on the nightstand.

He didn’t respond to her, all he did was walk faster to her bed and plopped himself on it being careful as to not hit her. Steve grabbed her, and wrapped his hands around her waist, he leant down and gave her a soft kiss.

 (Y/N) laughed against his lips, Steve pulled back and gave her a large smile. “I missed you,” he said, pecking her lips again.

“You saw me a couple of hours ago.”

“Yeah,” he pouted. “But I couldn’t do this.” He pulled her in for a kiss again, this time more longer and more passionate.

After kissing Steve, (Y/N) leant back on her bed, pulling the blankets up. “I hate this,” she started. “I don’t like it when I can’t be with you.”

Steve smirked at her, “Who knew that the great (Y/N) who said that she will never be cliched, become a cliche?”

She smacked him half-heartedly, “Shut it, Rogers.”

Steve wrapped his right arm around her shoulders, and he too leaned back. “I know what you’re saying. I miss you too. I don’t like Peter’s friend looking at you.”

She laughed, “He’s 16. He’s a kid, Steve.”

He pouted, “Still.” Steve looked over to (Y/N), who was now moving closer to him. “Why don’t we tell them?”

“Because we both know that we’re going to be questioned by multiple people, they’re going to question what I’m doing to you, which I might add is mean.”  She pointed a finger at him and harrumphed.

“Well, you do have a track record,” he teased.

“A track record that indefinitely stopped when I started taking a fancy to you,” she pointed out. “It’s just, they’re not ready and I don’t want to put our relationship to our friends that we practically see everyday, who aren’t ready.”

Steve nodded, agreeing with her. “Hopefully they’ll be ready soon.”

“Our group has Tony Stark, that’s practically a never to being ready.” 


Steve watched as the clock changed its numbers from 3:40, to 3:41. He looked over to the woman who was snuggled next to him, she grasped the blanket tighter, leaving him to basically nothing. If anyone told him that he’d be sharing a bed with (Y/N), being in a relationship with him six months ago he would have laughed and kindly asked the person if they needed to be checked.

Their relationship was rocky at best. Their personalities differed way too much in order for them to be friends. They had conflicting views. She was reckless, she was snobbish, she was everything he thought he hated. But as he got to know her, the little moments that they shared when they were doing a mission together, or the late night talks, he realised that they more alike than he thought.

Steve pulled (Y/N) closer to him. At this moment, he knew that she was the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 


 “I don’t get how you managed to break your arm, and then get sick,” Tony complained as he passed a cup of coffee to Steve. 

The other man shrugged, “Maybe I’m getting old like you.”

Tony flipped him off, “But I’ve had these reservations for months.” He complained.

“Tony, I’d rather not get the elitist of the elite sick.”

“Who’s getting who sick?” (Y/N) asked as she and Jane walked into the kitchen. Both women holding various notebooks with post-its sticking out.

“Capsicle is icksicle and he can’t come to the dinner.”

“Disgusting Rogers,” (Y/N) scrunched her nose. When she was certain that Jane and Tony weren’t looking she gave him a wink, watching as a smile light up on his face 

“I guess that you have to stay here then,” Tony sighed. “Will you be okay on your own?”

Steve thought for a moment, “I guess.” Steve discreetly looked at (Y/N), trying to get her to remember their plan. He coughed for extra effect, catching Tony, Jane’s and (Y/N)’s attention. They all looked at him disgustedly -Jane being nicer than the other two.

“No, I think that someone has to look after you,” Tony mused. “I can probably try and get Vision and Wanda to stay, they didn’t seem too keen to go anyway.”

“NO!” Steve yelled out, he quickly placed a hand on his mouth, then he coughed again. “No,” he said softly this time. “It’s good to get those two out of the house.”

 Tony narrowed his eyes and pouted. “I think I can get Fury to stay.” He fished out his phone and Steve looked at (Y/N). He gave her a warning look.

 She rolled her eyes, “Tony, if there’s anyone that needs a night out and have fancy drinks, it’s our fearless leader.” (Y/N) grabbed his phone and started deleting his text.

 “Well then princess, if you have a better idea then feel free to say it.”

 “I can stay,” she spoke nonchalantly, shrugging after.

 Tony once again narrowed his eyes, “You hate Steve. Is this some kind of plan?”

 “Me? Planning? Scheming? I’m outraged that you would think that.” She flicked his arm and Tony flicked her with his fingers in return. “I’ve already been there and it wasn’t my cup of tea, also I hate half of the people that usually go there.”

 “(Y/N), they’re your friends.”

 “Friends that I hate,” she spoke, smiling. “Look, I’ll look after Rogers, and I swear on my fortunes and my clothes that I will not lay a hand on him.” (Y/N) raised her arms in surrender and looked at her best friend who still had a dubious look on his face. “Come on, Tony. Who else would you get? Nat and Clint want to go, Thor and Jane want to go, everyone wants to go!”

 “I mean, I don’t really want to go,” Jane started. “I have this thing that I have to finish for my work.”

 “See,” Tony clicked his fingers towards Jane, a bright look on his face. “Jane will stay! And so will Thor!”

 Jane gave him a meek smile, “I don’t really trust Thor in fancy places, I mean he did smash half of the plates at a drive-in one time.”

 “Great!” Tony spoke out, a bright and happy tone lacing his voice. He wrapped his arms around (Y/N), oblivious to the glare that she was giving him. “Now, let’s get ready.” (Y/N) sent a helpless look to a now dumbfounded Steve.


(Y/N) huffed and folded her arms across her chest, she leaned back into her seat and watched as Tony make another joke with the waiter.

 “Okay, what’s wrong? This is your usual forte, so why aren’t you your normal self?” Sam whispered to her.

 She looked at her friend, “I’m just knackered Sam, and I particularly don’t want to be here.”

 “Is it because of a certain super soldier?”

 (Y/N) sat up straighter in her seat, fearing that her facial expression would throw away something. She took a deep breath and looked at Sam with an arched brow, “Yes Sam. I’m totally down in the dumps right now because I secretly love Steve and wisht that I was with him right at this moment.”

 Sam looked at (Y/N) who had an indifferent look on her face, he sat back into his seat and grinned. “I never said you loved him.”

 “You’re going to be the death of me Wilson.”

 “Don’t die, Steve would never forgive me.” Sam joked. She knew that he was joking but the way he said it made her feel things inside that she’s never felt before.

The night went on and all (Y/N) did was groan mentally, wishing that she was back at the compound watching some stupid Netflix show that Steve became obsessed about, rather than being at one of New York’s best restaurants. She started tapping on the table, then drumming watching as her friends attention turned to her, knowing she wouldn’t stop anytime soon they focused back on their attention.

She watched as Pepper clasped her hand over Tony’s, she watched as her best friend gave the woman he loved a smile so big that it looked idiotic. She couldn’t even make fun of Tony because she knew how he felt. (Y/N) turned her attention to Clint and Nat who were quietly whispering in each other’s ears, no doubt talking about other people, or Nat comforting Clint.  Feeling a sudden rush of multiple emotions, she stood up, her chair scraping gathering everyone’s attention. She threw her napkin on the table.

 “I have to go.”

 “Wait, (Y/N), where are you going?” She heard Tony asked.

 (Y/N) turned around, “I have to get back to the compound. I have to get back to my boyfriend.”

 “I KNEW IT!” Sam yelled as he too stood up and pointed a finger at (Y/N).

 “What?” Tony asked.

 “Steve and I have been in a relationship and we’ve been postponing telling you guys because we knew, well I knew, that you were going to be immature about. But seeing you guys here, it’s making me miss him and I realised that I don’t care if you’re immature about it, I just care about him being with me.” She finished, she took in all of her friends faces. Half of them were confused, and the other half was just amused.

 “Oh my god, you love him!” Tony yelled as well. (Y/N) looked around at the restaurant, everyone was now staring at their table including the waiters. Most of the patrons having glare etched on their faces.

 (Y/N) just shrugged and waved goodbye to her friends, she hailed a taxi as soon as she was outside. She gave them the address, and waited as the taxi driver took what seemed to be the longest route to the compound.


‘Of all the things to come and go,

There is no one else like you.’

 (Y/N) gave him the money as they reached the compound, tipping him an extra amount for dealing with her incessant chattering and fidgeting. As she rushed up the stairs to greet Steve, (Y/N) realised that she just probably blurted out the biggest secret she’s ever had to her best friends without thinking of the consequences. Not only that, she also made a huge spectacle in one of New York’s finest restaurants. The overwhelming feeling came over her, this wasn’t her. This wasn’t what she did.

 (Y/N) thought everything through, no words came out of her mouth without going over it three times in her head. What the hell was Steve doing to her? As she opened the door, she was met with Thor laughing and Jane shaking her head.

 “Thor, that’s not how you play it!”

 She looked around for Steve, as soon as she saw him coming into the room she ran over and engulfed him in a hug. Both Jane and Thor stopped what they were doing and looked at the spectacle in front of them.

 “Uhh, (Y/N)?”

 (Y/N) pulled back and looked at Steve. “I may or may not have told our friends that we were dating, and I may or may have not done it in front of the restaurant.”

 “Wait, what?”

 “I love you Steve Rogers, and when I was sitting there by myself watching Pepper and Tony, Clint and Nat together, made me realise that I don’t care what anyone else thinks. Or what anyone else questions. I want you with me, beside me, always. I want to be able to turn to you when I make a stupid joke, or hold your hand in public.” She rambled, not realising that she was gesturing wildly with her hands until she hit Steve accidentally in the face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

 (Y/N) cradled his face, and softly rubbed where she hit him. Steve grasped her hand, and pulled it down gently. “You love me?” He asked with a grin.  

 Panic set in her eyes and she looked around everywhere but him. “I really hope that you do because otherwise I would look really stupid saying I love you to you.”

 “What?”

 Steve shrugged, “I mean how can I not love you. You practically told everyone we knew that you love me, told New York that you love me, came up running to hug me.”

 “I did not run,” (Y/N) scoffed.

 Steve laughed as he pulled her closer, pecking her lips he embraced her as tight as he could. They were brought out of their moment as they heard clapping from Thor.

 “This is great news! Lady (Y/N) and Captain are together!” Jane tried to quieten him down as she gave them both a thumbs up and an apologetic look.

 “How did telling them go anyway?” Steve asked as he looked at her.

 “ROGERS! YOU’RE DEFILING MY PRACTICALLY BABY SISTER?”

 She looked sheepishly at Steve, “To be fair, Tony seemed to accept it when we were at the restaurant.”

 “ROGERS!” That particular yell was accompanied with a ‘Tony, shut up,’ courtesy of Pepper. “I DON’T CARE PEPPER, HE’S DOING MY BEST FRIEND!” 

 ‘The things I never think about -

And the only thing I do.’

Chasing Satisfaction

By: mldrgrl
Rating: R
Summary: Hank and Stella announce the change in their relationship.

It was dark and rainy outside, so they’d overslept. Both their internal alarms were off. Hank’s from being in twelve cities in two weeks and Stella’s from jet lag. The grey skies didn’t help.

Hank was just about a minute slower than Stella to get out of bed. He groaned and flung an arm over his head when she turned the light on, but knew he had to get moving if he didn’t want to be late to brunch with Becca. He finally rolled out of bed and stepped into the black pair of jockey shorts crumbled on the floor from the night before. Scratching his chest and yawning, he stumbled towards the bathroom.

Stella was at the sink, washing her face. Her hair was clipped up off her neck. Her silk robe was tied at her waist. Hank paused inside the doorway to watch. The small diamond ring on her finger winked at him when she put her left hand down to search for the towel she’d set on the counter.

He’d wanted to take her to Tiffany’s, but she preferred a vintage jewelry shop in Providence she’d found online. She’d chosen something she referred to as ‘practical.’ It wouldn’t have been Hank’s choice, but she was the one who was going to wear it, so he didn’t really care. He didn’t know what a ‘European cut’ was, or what ‘diamond-set shoulders’ were. He did like the sound of ‘sleek, knife-edge ring shank,’ though. The salesman seemed reluctant to admit it was ‘only .78 carats,’ but it hadn’t seemed to deter Stella, so it hadn’t deterred Hank either.

Hank raised his arms and leaned his elbows against the doorjamb as he watched Stella pat her face dry. He rubbed his thumb against the silver band on his own finger, twisting it around and around, not yet used to its weight.

“I’d like to tell Becca today,” he said.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Will there be more of today's post??!!!?? Who is she pregnant with? Who does Jamie work for? Was Frank ever involved?! COME ON DON'T LEAVE A GIRL HANGING! PLEASEEEEEEE Pregnant Claire and Professor Jamie just gives me all these happy feels and that's what I needed so much! I would love to see more stories like this <3

Continuation of Baking Disasters

“Shit, shit shit!” I muttered as the lukewarm coffee from both mine and Geillie’s cups spilled down my front

“Miss Beauchamp!”

“Sorry Ma’am, but the cups spilled. My uniform–”

“Clean it up and change. You can’t sit in a puddle of coffee. Shoo!”

“Thankyou Mistress Callaghan,” I said convincingly sweet.

I made a dash for my storage trunk and pulled my comfortable clothes from the bottom of my bag. I hadn’t exactly intended on pulling this stunt today but wanted to be prepared for the proper moment. The standard yellow dress, now a putrid brown, clung to my legs as I made my way down to the lavatory. I took my time rinsing the dress out, washing the coffee from my body and simply enjoying the brief moments out of the scrutiny and boredom of the bookkeeping class.

“Just a few more weeks, Beauchamp. You can make it that long.” I said to my reflection.

With a deep breath, I left the bubble of comfort I had created.

The lift’s small lobby was blissfully quiet. I reached to push the up button, but it was already lit. I stared in confusion at the little red bar. A deep clearing of someone’s throat sounded from behind me causing me to jump. I turned and saw the most beautiful man, and he smiled with a nod of his head.

“Mistress.”

“Good-day,” I murmured. His smiled widened.

“It is a good day.” He was fidgeting from side to side, his fingers tapping his thigh in a rhythmic cadence.

The freight lift dinged at the same time the standard lift opened its doors with a bell and rush of people.

“I’ll just follow ye. Ye seem to ken where it is yer going in this place.”

I smiled at him and nodded, requesting the second floor to the operator, while my redheaded companion requested the tenth.

“They both go to the same place,” I said quickly.

“I’d hope so.” He smirked.

“The other just has an extra stop to the basement and underground storage unit.”

“Ah weel, good thing I followed you! I didna fancy getting mugged or murdered today.” He joked with a roguish wink. I laughed nervously, concentrating on not spewing words thoughtless back to this man.

“Second floor, madam.” The elderly attendant said as he opened the double gated doors.

“Thank-you Jacob.” I turned back to the beautiful man, committing his face to memory.

“Have a good day!” He said, holding out a hand. I couldn’t speak and blushed rushing for the door to the women’s hall, blushing the entire time.

“Sassenach?”

“Claire?”

“Hmm?” I jolted, turning my head to see concerned blue eyes of my husband searching my own.

“Where did ye go? I thought for a moment ye had fallen asleep but yer eyes were open and ye were twirling a lock of yer hair.”

“Do you remember the day we met?” I whispered ignoring his question, as he lazily drew circles on my protruding stomach. I felt rather than heard his laugh.

“Aye. Ye were so flustered and adorable. I nearly followed you to wherever ye were headed that day. I’m even surprised I have a job after the daze ye left me in.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Surely I didn’t cause that much of an upheaval?”

“Och! But ye did Sassenach. Ye did.” He paused, fingers stilling over my belly button, then quickly pulled me tighter against his chest. “Ye were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. Your hair wild and loose, and yer outfit, Christ! Ye were so brazen in yer pants and sleeveless top, I thought I’d walked into another world.”

“If you knew why I looked that way…” I trailed off shaking my head. “I was in the restroom just before meeting you in the lobby. Coffee had just spilled down my respectable clothes and I had to change into something more comfortable that was in my bag.”

“Ye wee fiend! Ye spilled yer coffee on purpose to change!” His fingers grazed the sensitive side of my ribs and I squealed and tried to wiggle out of his grasp.

“Yes!” I heaved between laughs, my lungs burning and tears streaming down my face. “Alright, is that what you wanted to hear? I couldn’t stand the pale yellow dress that was required and when Geillie stood up at our desk I hit the desk with my knee causing hers, and my drinks to spill down the front of my dress.”

I could feel Jamie’s smile against my neck as he smothered his laughter in my skin.

“I knew I married a canny one.” His laughs turned into sighs as he nuzzled deeper into my skin. “I canna say that I’m sorry ye tend to break the rules, Sorcha.”

“Oh, why’s that?” I asked, turning my head to try and see him, but getting a face full of unruly, short red curls.

“If ye hadna broken the rules and gone to the lavatory to change, I never would have met ye in that elevator. And I would ne’er change the events of that day.”

I smiled, brought his knuckles to my lips and kissed them. “Nor would I. How did you find me, we never exchanged names, or even said more than a few–embarrassing, on my part– words?”

Jamie shifted so that I was laying on my back and he was propped up on an elbow, looking down at me.

“During my interview with the Latin department, I inquired what was on the second floor of the building.” He leaned down and kissed my temple. “And when they said the women’s institution hall I knew I had to try and find ye again.”

“It didn’t take you long. What? All of three days went by before you were standing outside the lifts with a solitary yellow tulip.”

“Aye, that’s when I finally had the balls to stand there and wait hoping ye’d show yerself.”

I reached up and stroked his cheek and the day’s old stubble that resided there. “I do love you, and can’t tell you how happy I am that you did come to find me that day.”

“I couldna see my life without you. That day ye were babbling and mumbling to me in that lift, I knew ye were it for me.”

“My babbling endeared you. Oh my how I have the greatest ability!” I exaggerated sarcastically laughing as he began tickling my sides.

We twined our bodies together heaving from the laughter. A quick beat of little feet startled us both.

“Seems like he likes his parents happy,” Jamie whispered, as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Mmm, she wants us to settle down. It is her nap time after all.”

Jamie bent down, caressing my now exposed stomach. “Shh wee one. We’ll calm down now. Go sleep and become strong so that ye can join us in the world verra soon. Tha gaol agam ort, mo chridhe.” He finished this with a kiss to my stomach, followed by a kiss on my lips.

“I never thought I’d say I can thank my happiness to spilled coffee and a lift, but I’m glad that I can.”

Songs of Ssael Prayerbook

Wanted to talk about my newest prop for Duane real quick. Was waiting to get the new photos up first, but I do not have time to edit them at the moment and needed a quick break from sewing my next costume.

Wish I had a before shot to share because it used to be blue.  Materials I used: a book, scrapbooking paper in green, gold, black velvet, and a fun design (you’ll see that one later), green and black fabric paint, tan, white, black, and brown acrylic paint, twine, gold ballpoint pen, a hot glue gun, and a lot of Modge Podge.

I was really picky about the base book I chose. It had to be the right size in my hand…not too thick as to look bulky but not so thin as I couldn’t do a little something fun with it.  I also ended up choosing this one because it left the ends of the pages raw and I liked the rough look of it! I had to sand the top of the book though, since the pages were dyed orange.

Here you can see where I tore off half of the spine. That was my first step, before I even started painting. You can also see where I glued down the twine bindings on the spine and the pieces that hang from the top of the book. I also used hot glue to seal the raw end of the twine so it wouldn’t unravel.

The designs I traced a vector for from the art and used that to print a stencil of sorts I could use to cut the pieces out with an exacto knife. It’s all glued down with Modge Podge.

All of the weathering with black and white I tried to keep as close to the illustrations of the book as possible.

Here is the rarely seen back! This is where the tan paint really came in. I used it to color the blue so I could save that slightly leathery texture of the original cover.  The green paper I glued on to re-do the cover I purposely left loose on that corner and tore the edge around to make it uneven.  I also spritzed it with water to get it extra floppy.

One of my personal touches was the old bloody handprint on the back. The space was partially covered in the art, and on its own it felt empty. I figured, Duane must have picked up the book after accidentally eating somebody at least once right.  I just painted my fingers brown and slammed them down on the back of the book.

Here is a detail shot where you can really see the textures in the papers I chose. I like the randomness of the gold, and the elegance the velvet added.  The green had a linen look to it that I thought fit well wishing the comic’s aesthetic.

I also want to talk about the letters here. Finding simple gold letter stickers was, oddly enough, impossible. I ended up buying purple glitter ones instead. I had to scrape off all the glitter, resurface it with Modge Podge, and color it with my gold leafing pen.  The ‘f’ I had to extend as well…placing a piece of another sticker under it before applying the Modge Podge.

Here is another detail shot showing the fun rough edges of the book, as well as some of the weathering I did on the edge.  For the edge I tried to sand through the paper to the tan paint I had applied underneath…but I ended up sanding through the paint too fast to the original color of the book. So in the end I took a box cutter and carved away at all the edges, down to the cardboard cover itself.  I ran sandpaper over the carved edges to make it look more like it had worn down and had not been carved out.

This is probably the roughest part of the book, but still pretty  happy with it! In the art it’s so small it’s just scribbles so I had to improvise what to put up there.  Considering the book it had to be Tainish for sure. The phrase I had originally chosen was too long, so I ended up mashing two other ones together and hoping it makes sense.  Can’t say I’m too well versed in Tainish grammar after all. I had also wanted to draw it in the Tainish alphabet, but sadly that is not available, so I used cursive instead.

For those who may have trouble reading my sloppy penmanship it reads:
Ssael fhikemun rish ul a Llede Llaemasa

Which should, in theory, translate to:
Ssael reveals the way to his Lions of Mercy

The inner cover I also redid with a paper with a fun design.  The edges of the green showed and I wanted a nice clean look all around.  Also a little extra weathering just cuz.

And last but not least, the whole reason I decided to do this project in the first place! I needed a place to keep my ribbons at ALA.

I made this into a hollow book with a lot of Modge Podge and cutting of pages and more Modge Podge and some heavy things. This is why the book couldn’t be too thin.  I made sure to leave a number of pages at the front loose so I could also use it as a prop.

Punctuating Dialogue in English: A Fanfiction How-To

Punctuation in fiction can be tricky. There are some things we pick up really easily from reading, but who pays attention to how dialogue is punctuated? Not me! It’s one of those things you don’t think about until you find yourself constructing dialogue of your own, and you just do what seems rightish at the time.

When eager me first wrote and posted fanfiction online (back in 2001), the first thing that happened is that someone commented on it and told me how to punctuate my dialogue. Embarrassing, as I felt like I should have known better, but I am forever grateful to that person for steering me in the right direction. I learned a lot that day. This is me paying it forward.

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anonymous asked:

heyhey!! can you do a silly imagine with charles like right after cuba where its like nighttime and hes sad so y/n tries to cheer him up by telling him stories of stupid things they did when they were high (tbh if you want inspiration just look up ThatHigh comps or smth theyre really funny) and after a while he ends up laughing at it and yeah just fluffy thank you!! (sorry its a weird request i just thought it could be cute !)

Charles Xavier X Reader – This One Time

A/N – I’m finally settled in my new place ^_^

Warnings – Mild drug use.

Rating – T


Originally posted by holy-cherik

You wiped away fresh tears, trying to quell the melancholy that came with your mutation; empathy was a tough power to host when all you wanted was the simple, underrated gift of only feeling your own emotions. Naturally, you knew where the emotions were coming from, there were only four other people in the house and Charles had lost the most in Cuba; of course he was depressed.

You sighed impatiently, getting up, knowing you had to cheer up Charles if you wanted any rest at all in the coming weeks. It was the only solution really, or so you told yourself, denying your feelings for him until he could be in a better place to accept them.

You crept silently down to the make-shift hospital wing, taking extra care to be quiet when going past Hank who was posted outside, making sure nobody would disturb Charles; if the mansion ever did become a boarding school, you’d bet that Hank would make an excellent matron.

Opening the door and seeing Charles made you just as miserable as he was, the way he laid on his back, staring bleakly at the ceiling, probably contemplating life’s course, brought you close to tears again. You breathed deeply, fighting to control your emotions before taking a seat beside Charles’ bed. He didn’t acknowledge you, not even when you greeted him; his eyes merely flickered to you momentarily then back to the ceiling. You sat awkwardly wondering what you could possibly say to make the situation any better, all the time feeling self-conscious that Charles was most-likely seeing all your thoughts, especially the stupid ones which would get you nowhere. After an overly long, stumped silence, you blurted out, “I licked a cat once.”

Charles snapped to attention, his expression one of wholly confusion, “What?”

“When I was high.” You rushed. “I licked a cat because that’s what their mothers do and she looked lonely… In fairness, she purred the entire time.”

Charles observed you curiously for a few seconds before laughing hysterically, an action that your mutation made you mirror. After the two of you calmed down again you apologised. “Sorry, that was random, wasn’t it?”

Charles shook his head. “No need to apologise, quite frankly, it’s nice to have someone who isn’t tip-toeing around me all the time; Hank tries but, well, you know how it is.”

“Yeah, I get it, nobody knows what to say really. Things’ll go back to normal eventually, until then though, want some company?”

“Only if you have more stories like that.”

You grinned eagerly. “Yeah? All right uh, okay, I got one. Once, I decided that it was an amazing idea to go for a drive after smoking a blunt but I saw this cop pull in front of me on the road and I was like, freaking out, thinking that he’d come to pull me over and arrest me. Now, like any sane person, I didn’t wanna be pulled over so in my drug-addled state, I decided it’d be a really good idea to follow the police car; that way it couldn’t pull me over because I was behind him. Anyway, long story short, I followed it for 30 minutes before coming to my senses and going home.”

Charles laughed even harder and you joined in of your own volition this time, enjoying odd memories of the past. He grinned, relieved to just relax after days of medical questions and unsavoury conversations about Erik. His smile quickly faded however, with a thought that made him uncomfortable.

“(Y/N)… are you just reacting to my emotions or are you actually happy here with me?”

“What? Why’re you asking?”

“I-” He hesitated. “I don’t want you to be a slave to your mutation.”

You glanced uncomfortably at your hands, picking at your nails while thinking through your options. “I… When I’m with you, it doesn’t really feel like it does with other people. I… I guess I kind of like sharing your emotions.” You blushed and waited for a response. When Charles didn’t say anything, you felt the familiar seeds of panic welling up inside you. With a decisive nod, you got up, your chair scraped loudly across the floor, somehow managing to make you feel worse.

“I should go.” You turned to leave.

“Wait.” Charles requested courteously.

You stopped, frozen in place, listening for what he would come up with next.

“I make it a policy not to read friends minds, most of the time it makes people uncomfortable. You know as well as anybody that I have perfect control of my abilities but with you… With you I tend to read your mind because I can’t stop myself. No. That’s not true. I don’t want to stop myself.”

“Charles, what’re you saying? I don’t understand.”

He sighed. “(Y/N), I’ve waited for you for a long time now and if I’m honest I want to be with you but-”

“Don’t let there be a but.” You laughed in a weak attempt to make the situation easier.

“But,” he continued seriously, “right now, isn’t the right time. You understand, don’t you?”

“…Yeah, I get it.”

“Then, will you wait for me? I don’t know how long it will be and I realise I have no right to ask but please, wait.”

You turned back to Charles, kissing the top of his forehead lightly, “For you, I’d wait an eternity. Get some rest Charles, it’s the only way I’ll get some bloody sleep.”

Charles exhaled, relieved that you were okay. “Goodnight (Y/N), sweet dreams.”

Baby Winchester

Pairing - Dean x Reader

Word Count - 1994

Warnings - Drinking, Fluff, mentions of sex, Drinking. 

Notes - This is the fic i wrote for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog‘s trope challenge, since writing this I’m thinking of making it into a series! Please do let me know! 


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Self Worth and Honesty

Paring: Thor/Reader

Tags: female reader, insecure reader, PTSD, anxiety, Thor is not stupid, fluff, angst, adorable Thor

Summary:  Tony Stark throws you a birthday party: the last thing you want, to be honest. Lucky your boyfriend Thor is a perceptive fellow.

Word Count:  1,038

Posting Date:  2016-05-20

Current Date: 2017-05-10


Originally posted by thorduna


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∆ One of the best days of my entire life ∆

Alright. So. I am going to do my very best at this. But here it finally is, in its entirety in post form: On Saturday May 6th, 2017 in Charlotte, North Carolina, I saw my favorite band, Bastille, again. And by some all-powerful grace of a god in the sky or the universe rewarding me for some reason, I got to meet them. Here is the story:


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ronnie-lodge  asked:

bellarke + 'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you’re hot and I’m thirsty but now I’ve developed actual feelings for you bc you’re a genuinely good person’ HAPPY FUTURE HOLIDAYS!!! and thanks 🙈

Clarke’s original reasons for following Octavia’s brother were far from pure, but she thinks it would be hard for anyone to figure that out. After all, she found out about his Instagram because Octavia posted a picture of the two of them with the caption: Finally got my dork brother on Instagram (and in Boston!!), everyone follow @theblakemistake.

If anyone asked, she was just following orders. It was not at all that he was really, really hot. No one could prove otherwise.

Especially when she keeps following him through the rocky first weeks of his Instagramming. Given how Bellamy Blake looked–broad shoulders, tan skin, toothpaste-commercial smile, artfully mussed hair, topped off with a pair of black hipster frames and a generous sprinkling of freckles–she assumed Octavia’s descriptor of “my dork brother” was just a little sister teasing.

But Bellamy’s inaugural Instagram post is a picture of a plant Clarke can’t identify with a truly dorky caption:

Things @octaviathefirst (am I doing that right) made me get today:

1. Instagram account
2. Plant

I figure I might as well use the first to monitor the second and see which one dies first.

And then he actually lists information about the plant. Like how many leaves it has and its color and the dampness of the soil. It is not at all what Clarke was expecting, but she finds herself actually kind of looking forward to his daily plant updates. His captions are fun, and he is really worried about his ability to keep the thing alive, which is really endearing.

After a week and a half of that, he finally posts another picture of himself, wearing pajamas and holding an orange kitten. Which is exactly the content Clarke was looking for. That’s what she’s about.

So, it’s come to my attention (s/o to @octaviathefirst) that I’m “doing it wrong” and just posting pictures of my plant is “boring and sad.” So I guess people on Instagram like cats? That’s what I’m getting. Anyway, this is Hermes, he’s an asshole.

PS: I’m still doing the plant updates.

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The Unknowns.

Originally posted by kendaspntwd

Originally posted by hunterchesters

Originally posted by heavensent-clara

Originally posted by sandarafreedompark

My entry for Karolina’s Playlist @loveitsallineed  (1k Followers Celebration Challenge)

Prompt: Completely inspired by Hometown by Twenty One Pilots.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

I hadn’t heard this song before and I absolutely love it. The feel gave me such an 80’s vibe that I automatically saw some kid!dean happening and then everything came together so friggin beautifully.

Summary: AU Season One Episode Nine: Home. Reader lived on the street with Dean and when he goes back home he calls her back too. There will be Kid!Dean and Kid!Reader flashbacks.  A bit of angst and fluffy fluff.

Word count: 8267 - Yeah, this turned into a long one. 

Lines borrowed from the episode are in BOLD.

Dean Winchester stood next to the men’s room door of the old gas station and held the phone to his ear trying to keep the tears out of his voice, “please. I need your help, Dad.

He snapped the phone shut and clenched his teeth together before forcing out a breath. He stared down at small screen wanting to call her so badly but afraid to at the same time. He’d been an idiot the last time they saw each other and he knew he didn’t deserve her help, not after what he did. Why had he listened to Dad? But he couldn’t put all the blame on him, he knew she’d be pissed if he left like that, but she was always there and he took it for granted too many times.

He flipped open the phone again and scrolled through his contacts until her name lit up. They always agreed that if they ever needed each other they would be there, no matter what. He just wasn’t sure he still deserved it. He hit the call button before he changed his mind, pressed the phone to his ear, and closed his eyes in a silent prayer. Please pick up. I need you.

“Dean.” Her voice was flat but she answered.

He released the breath that had lodged in his chest. “Y/n.”

“Are you okay? What’s happened?”

He dropped his head and tried shaking away the tears. “I’m in Lawrence. I think it’s back at my house. The shadow.”

She swore away from the phone then she was back. “It’ll take me about… fifteen hours, maybe thirteen if I’m lucky.”

“Okay.” The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Best friends forever?” She was quiet for a moment and he thought she wasn’t going to answer. “I know I don’t deser…”

“And ever.” The line clicked off and he pulled the phone away looking at the screen. He still needed to make it up to her but she was coming. She was coming home to him.

~~

Lawrence, Kansas

June. 1983

The big wheel wasn’t really what I wanted for my birthday but daddy made it home a day early with a present in hand. It didn’t matter that it was the wrong bike because he didn’t have to bring anything at all, he was all I wished for. I had a feeling this morning that it would be my best birthday ever and my feelings are never wrong.

Daddy and mommy watched from the porch and I could still see the giant smile on his face when he showed off the bike and said happy birthday. I rolled it down the driveway and turned onto the sidewalk then pedaled as fast as I could to show him just how big I was. My hair flew back in the wind and it was like I could fly if only I tried. Then I felt it, the static along my skin and the butterflies flying around in my stomach. Daddy was home, I had my bike, and the boy with the green eyes from down the street was watching.

I smiled at the boy and waved. He lifted his hand but then a dark shadow moved on the porch behind him and I slowed down trying to get a closer look. When I blinked, it was gone. I looked back to the boy and felt my day start to turn. He thought I was weird, I could see it on his face. I had to change that. Now. My life would be over if this didn’t work. My birthday ruined and that’s not what I felt this morning.

I spun my friend Susie’s bike last week and everyone thought I was awesome. He would think so if he had been there. I could do that again. Easy.

I pedaled as fast as I could then pulled the brake hard and spun the wheel, the bike went spinning around just like before. I could feel it, I was going to be awesomer than awesome. Then something wasn’t right and I was flying through the air, the handles weren’t in my hands, and after what felt like forever, I hit the ground. I’m pretty sure I died.

I stared up at the blue sky with one big cloud floating past. It looked like a bike and maybe it was my big wheel, maybe that’s what it looks like from heaven. But then my knees burned and my hands screamed. There was no pain in heaven, my mommy told me, so I couldn’t be dead or I was sent back. It was a toss up as my daddy would say.

Then his face blocked out the sky, this close I could see little bits of gold in the green. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Totally.” I pushed up on my hands and swallowed the cry. I stood up, ignoring the pain in my knees, and looked for my bike. It was laying on its side on the sidewalk in front of the boy’s house. I ran to it hoping it wasn’t broken. My present was trash and I didn’t even have it for a whole day!

“Y/n! Are you okay, honey?” Daddy was out of breath brushing my hair out of my face but I needed to check my bike.

I pushed it back on its wheels, looked it over, and smiled up at daddy. It was fine. I didn’t break it! “Did you see that, daddy? I flew! It was like eeerrrtttt, kkkkerssh boom, woohoo!” Daddy was laughing and I turned to the boy. “Do you want to try?”

He looked at the bike then to my knees before turning around. I looked up to his house with a large window where a pretty blonde lady was cleaning inside. “I’m not supposed to leave the yard.” His voice was nice. I bet he was a super nice boy.

“Maybe we can go ask. My dad could watch us.” I tugged on his sleeve and pulled him toward his house. I glanced at him as we ran to his porch. “My name’s y/n. What’s yours?”

He smiled so big I could see a lot of teeth. “Dean!”

I knew before we talked to his mom that we would play all day because today was the best birthday ever. And my feeling this morning was right again because, by the end of the day, Dean Winchester and I became best friends forever and ever.

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okay before i go to bed, some more details about meeting Gerard and Tommy and giving them the artbook

basically i walked in with a group of 5 other people (who were SO lovely, i talked to them while we waiting and showed them the book and they loved it as well!) Gerard waved at me as soon as he saw me which was nice :) i let everyone go ahead and i took some photos while they met Gerard and Tommy. while Gerard was signing, Tommy came over to me to give me a big hug and i thanked him for having me, giving me a media pass and all. then it was my turn and i put my camera aside, gave Gerard a hello hug, and then i got out the artbooks. the second i put them on the table in front of them, they both went ‘AAHHH WOOOOOW OH MY GOD!’ i told them a little bit about the book as they started looking through it. and they really looked through it page for page, pointing out how amazing it is and how much they loved it, how beautiful it is. i told them i was pretty emotional throughout the process of making the book and it all coming together. and they couldnt stop smiling and it was obvious how excited they were about it. honestly i felt so much pride, even more than i already felt before. and i told them that as well. that it was just such an honor having all of you contribute and support this lil project. and im SO HAPPY i got the opportunity to give it to them and have a lil moment to look through it with them, tell them all about it, tell them how much it means to me and everyone involved. and they were SO appreciative and happy. we spent a good 10mins or so looking at the book together, chatting, and i apologized to the next group of people who were already waiting but they were like OMG ITS OKAY (i feel like they were kinda excited to witness the whole artbook thing but maybe thats just me bc i was so excited) before i left i thanked everyone again for taking the extra time and also for letting me take photos and they thanked me too, over and over again for the books and yeah…

oh yeah i wore my Mother Panic shirt which i designed and had printed myself and both Tommy and Gerard (and later Jody Houser) were freaking out about it haha (ill post a photo of it tomorrow)

oh i also had them sign my own copy of the book which was nice

tbh, today was such an exciting day, it kinda all went by in a blur, i was and still am, so hyped up about everything that happened today and just about the fact that i get to be here and be so involved with the con and everyone. so im probably forgetting half of it right now but i will def post anything i remember. its late and ive just finished editing my first batch of photos and tomorrow is an early start so forgive me if i forget anything 

ive also already met so many of my friends and followers and that makes me SO HAPPY basically i couldnt stop smiling all day. everyone is so lovely!

also i need a few more days to have the digital copy of the book ready, i was supposed to have it ready NOW, i know, but the last few days before i left to come to NC were just super stressful for me.

anyway goodnight! tomorrow its just gonna be panel after panel after panel after panel and that means lots of photographing and lots of editing!

ps excuse any typos like i said im suuuuper tired and at the same time still super hyped haha

What made the biggest difference when preparing for your Oireachtas?

**LONG POST COMING but this is a very honest recount of my Oireachtas prep and competition day**

Two words: FOCUS and VISUALIZATION.

It all started in Orlando when I didn’t land the recall I had hoped for - it stung. Despite all my efforts in the gym and studio, it wasn’t enough to make it to the final round. That being said, my sister had a much better outcome in Orlando by landing a recall at her first nationals and her second competition as an Open dancer - an achievement that deserves high praise. I was thrilled for her, despite feeling vexed about my own results. 

That’s when everything changed.

The minute I landed on home soil, I began training for the Oireachtas. I’ll be the first to admit that my track record at our Oireachtas has never been great. My placement over the last few years was always near the bottom and I swore to myself that I wouldn’t allow it to happen again this year.

My god, I was going to do whatever it took to get that recall.

I did everything I could think of to better my chances of achieving my goal. My stamina was always my biggest porblem and I decided to take my mom’s advice and start doing wind sprints. I sprinted 2-3 times a week between studio classes and skipped between my laps. I wanted to puke my guts out at the end of each training session, but I knew it would be worth it. I followed these sprints with a gym workout to build up my strength despite my exhaustion from cardio.

I worked my butt of in the studio - leaving drenched in sweat. I reworked the weaker parts of my TJ and set dance to make sure they were perfect.

I fought through the bruised toes, blisters and aching feet. I fought through the shinsplints that made a vicious comeback after years of no pain. I fought through the exhaustion my muscles felt and remembered that it would all be worth it.

I grimaced and gritted my teeth through the deep tissue leg massages at my sister’s physio clinic. I doused my legs in Lakota Extra Strength or Voltaren, and wrapped my shins in tensors each practice. 

“All of this will be worth it the minute you hear your number recalled. It’ll be worth it if you have a shot at Worlds,” I would tell myself.

What was once months before the Oireachtas became weeks, and soon we were only a week away from competing.

The wind sprints had increased my lung capacity, stamina and short-term muscle recovery. My gym training had strengthened and toned my body into peak physical condition. My final deep tissue leg massage worked out the knots and exhaustion in my muscles, as well as temporarily relieved the pain from my shinsplints. I knew my dances like the back of my hand after months of preparation. I had perfected my visuals - I knew when to make eye contact with the judges and when to smile. I knew which foods I had to eat to supply my body with the energy it needed - gluten free and all.

As we drove down to Calgary, I visualized myself onstage for each round and where I needed to move for each step. I thought of when I had to focus on a judge - smiling, eye contact and all. Then I visualized myself being recalled and qualifying for Worlds. 

There was a possibility I could make it happen, but I needed to be 100% focused. I had to believe I could do it.

By Saturday afternoon, I had walked off the stage with two strong rounds. When they began announcing my group’s recalls, my sister held my hand anxiously after hearing her own number. Another dancer from our school, who is like a psuedo-sister, anxiously waited with us. When they called out my number, we joyfully cried out and hugged. After years of never recalling and placing in the bottom, my sister and I had recalled together in the Senior Ladies category.

That being said, I also knew that some of my own friends and fellow competitors didn’t get the recall they were hoping for. After strapping on my hardhoes, I went to each of them to congratulate them on a job well done. After seeing each of them, I quickly warmed up and ran through my set for its debut on stage. I said a quick “this is for you” to my grandfather, who was an avid supporter of our competitive career, and stepped onstage to do the Piper - a set chosen to honour his time in highland dancing.

My third round is a bit of a blur. I remember looking at my sister, mom and teacher for visual cues of what to do. They would tell me if I needed to lift higher, move more or smile. After that, it was like a curtain had fallen around me. I can only recall the blur of my surroundings as I danced and the sound of the music.

I finished my third round, thanked the musicians and made my way offstage. Once I passed out of the judges’ view, I relaxed and felt the full brunt of my bruised toes. It hurt to walk back to where my family and friends stood, but it was worth every bit of pain to have a strong final performance. No matter what happened, I was happy with what I put on that stage.

Fast forward to that evening, and we eagerly waited for our group’s results. While my teacher watched the awards from the side stage, I waited with my sister and my good friend Shannon. We filed on stage with our group, hand in hand, and waited as they began our group’s awards - the final group of the evening. 

As my sister and I held our breath, we listened as they called 12th and then 11th place. My sister and I, after always being in the bottom three, had placed in the top 10! Shortly after, my sister was announced as 10th place and she accepted her medal and NANs qualification certificate. Then 9th place was called.

That was when the announcer paused and waited for what we hoped was the big announcement. Seconds later, the remaining dancers and I were announced as the world qualifiers. Shannon was already bent over in tears and I remember sobbing into my hands when I realized I had done what I never thought I’d do - I was going to the Worlds. My sister had rushed back to hug me before they called my number out as 8th place. With tears streaming down my face, I accepted my medal, certificate and rose before taking my place.

If you can dream it and believe it, you can achieve it! 

I achieved not one, but two childhood dreams that night. I qualified for the Worlds and I will get to compete in Ireland before I retire in 2019. So if I can do it, so can you!

Set out your goals. Make a plan on how you will achieve those goals and set your plan into motion. I can promise you one thing, it’ll be worth it.

5

The process by which I created Blue Lace.

1) Picking a gem! Obviously, since Spinel is pinkish and red and Halite is light blue, I looked at a bunch of gems that were both at the extremes and blends of those colours. The most appropriate gem, colour-wise, would probably have been hackmanite. It’s a gem that changes from white to rich purple depending on how much sunlight it receives. And the hack part made me think of what the fusion would attack: by hacking people with her foot blades. In the end I went with blue lace agate, even though the colours favour the Halite half of the fusion. This was partially because I wanted to avoid an -ite name (very difficult seeing as how most minerals these days all new minerals end in -ite) and because I liked how it abbreviated to Blue Lace.


2) References! I discussed the fusion quite a bit with @joe-sparrow, the creator of Halite. We wanted to do something on the more monstrous end of fusions, though it didn’t quite end up that way. Anima from FFX, one of his favourite Final Fantasy creatures, was our starting point. We wanted a gem that could contort and flex, so that adds a few other images. Dian Yoon and the monocephalus skulls for how her face would potentially look. Obviously, I also looked at actual fusion gems from Steven Universe show to try and keep them stylistically similar, seeing how simple and how complex the show’s creators had gone with them. I feel bad for those who animate Sugilite – she’s easily the most detailed of the fusions. Size-wise, I imagine Blue Lace to be about as tall as Opal and Rainbow Quartz.

3) Sketches! Time for figure out what Blue Lace looks like. This part was actually quite tricky, especially when it came to the bodies. SU is really good in that all its characters have very distinct body shapes and that the fusions end up being somewhere in between. Examples: Sugilite is more muscular than Amethyst, but broader than Garnet; Rainbow Quartz is slimmer than Rose Quartz, but more curvacious than Pearl. But both Halite and Spinel are quite slim (except for Spinel’s chest), so there wasn’t that much to be done in terms of body shape. But they both have long legs, so eventually came to a conclusion: stretch her! Blue Lace’s body parts should be longer than either of her two constituent gems. I also tried to give her a really weird face, but they ended up just feeling awkward. It’s a shame.

4) Rejected Design! An early design for Blue Lace. At first Joe and I were quite fond of the long-hair-in-front-of-the-face thing, but I found it quite difficult to work with in the end. The hair kept getting in the way and spoiling the silhouette. The arms wrapped around the torso did the same thing. (Fun fact: this version has an extra bend in her arms, upper arm, middle arm, lower arm, hands). The upper body also felt like it needed something, but the shoulder pads just felt too Spinel, even if it gave her a cool X-shape. In the end, the whole design felt too Spinel for me, too normal-looking. A fusion should be influenced by her gems, but not so much that she just looks like a big version of one of them. In the end, I felt this was going in a direction I didn’t like and couldn’t fix, so I went back to the sketches.

5) Finalizing the design! One of Halite’s early designs had her wearing a cloak to accentuate her shyness. Joe eventually scrapped that idea, but I really liked it. I went back to the sketch stage and did a few designs with variations of cloaks and hairstyles. Then I did a large version and fiddled around with the decoration on the cloak. I still really like the neck diamonds that the first cloak has, but in the end felt that breaking the symmetry worked better, and that its simplicity would make her easy to animate.

In the end, I still feel a little guilty that Blue Lace maybe takes more design influences from Spinel than Halite. I tried to check myself, hence the rejection of the first design, but I guess I’m just biased towards my own gem. I also feel I maybe copped out with the arms. Does Blue Lace have them? Does she not? If she does have arms, is it because she’s shape-shifted them into existence?

But I’m very happy with her regardless. I haven’t actually designed something in a while. Those of you who follow me because of @dungeonsanddrawings will notice that I haven’t made a post in some time. I’ve tried, but I felt pretty burned out after 6 years of designing new monsters every week. Blue Lace is the first time in months where I’ve drawn something new that I felt was good enough to show other people.

inej-thewraith-ghafa-deactivate  asked:

Now you've done Kaz's birthday could you pretty please do Inej's? As a fic rather than headcanons if that's ok :P

okay this took forever, sorry. i’m posting this in parts bc (y’know i’m extra) i set this up to tie in another prompt. two birds, one stone, why not???


inej’s birthday part 1/3

Kaz Brekker calculated every decision he made.

He’d come to pride the way he weighed all the odds. It made errors rare, creating a low probability of regrets.

So how could he screw up this badly?

However conventional recruiting Nina Zenik as a party planner seemed, she shaped up to be less help and more of a headache. He’d been counting on her theatricality. He knew she would prepare a celebration Inej would never plan for herself. It was precisely what he hoped for. When he would’ve preferred to forget his own birthday, Inej found subtle ways to get him to celebrate. He figured using Nina against her would be the simplest form of revenge—without him having to actively participate in any of it.

But he hadn’t anticipated Nina becoming a nuisance.

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Stage Left - A Robbie Kay x Reader imagine - Part 2

I have a few good ideas for this fic! bare with me and the kinda shitty and choppy writing.. I’m trying my best to get back into the swing of things haha But I hope that you guys like this part. Please give me some feed back, send in some requests and such! I love you all and I’m so happy to be back.

Part one

Originally posted by lets-play-pan

(Why is he so damn perfect?)

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Pains

words: 2160

For HPshipweeks. I couldn’t not have written Tonks’ musings in labour, and I couldn’t help to write these two nervous soon-to-be parents either. Enjoy!

ao3

It’s begins in the early hours of the morning, the smell of coffee brewing from the kitchen wafting its way into the sitting room where she lies, her mouth watering and itching for the smallest taste, yet her body too tired and swollen to think of moving from its perch on the sofa. It starts off with a lingering ache in her back, worse than that of the weight of the baby pulling her forward, knocking the breath out of her. It left her hunched over as she made her way down the stairs from her bed, had her prone the minute she had laid eyes on the soft cushions of the couch. It takes a while before she stops convincing herself she had just slept the wrong way, ignoring the stabbing pain spreading to her belly, seeming to squeeze around her pathetically before retreating into her back again. It’s only when her hands move to cradle her stomach, the muscle growing hard like stone underneath as she soothes her baby’s stiff movements that she considers calling Remus from the kitchen.

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Everlasting Party - Mystic Messenger Time Loop AU (pt 14)

<- Previous Chapter | Chapter Index | Next Chapter ->

Summary: You’re caught in a time loop during the 11 days leading up to the RFA’s party unless you can do… what, exactly?

15+ for swearing. Spoilers for Days 6 and 8 of Jaehee’s route.



The sixth day. 11:52pm.

You check your watch again. Reconfirm that the door is locked. The cabinet is pushed in front of the window Unknown smashed through back when Zen… well.

You wait. This will be the true test. Is it possible for the days to continue if you don’t go to Zen’s house?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Jaehee messaged you a few hours ago to say she was headed to Zen’s place. Zen logged on around eleven and told you how nice it was to have her at his apartment with him.

That was me, once, instead of Jaehee.

Tick. Tock.

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Creepypasta #241: Milgram's Bunny

One of the few downsides of being a gamer is the post-“new game” crash. No matter how into a game I may be, I always feel the need to seek out something new and different. If only I were a millionaire the constant urge to play something new wouldn’t be such a problem. I just can’t afford to feed my habit at the rate I’d prefer.

That is why I love the gaming community. New games, new mods, and new play groups are always within reach. If only Tantalus had the internet, he may not have suffered.

And. there really is no conceptual boundary that some aspiring programmer won’t cross. Making tea, experiencing the life of a fly, or a psychedelic space romp have all been put to code. Given that my favorite genres are RPGs and Sims the creators who put out content with RPG maker are a community I follow.

I know I could program games for myself to play, but it’s like running your finger down your side to test if you are ticklish. It’s always a let down. But, as soon as someone else comes along and does the exact same thing you wind up begging for mercy.

A few weeks ago I was in a particular doldrums and strayed a bit further from my usual download sites than usual. After a while I found a forum post linking to a game simply called “Milgram’s Bunny”. The post said it was made with rpg maker and was designed to test your ability to manage a rabbit farm. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had an idea where I got it; it’s from one of the places of the internet where only the brave dare go.

Installation was a breeze and the controls seemed intuitive enough. Which was good, given that the only onscreen prompts were “Reward the good bunnies and punish the bad ones. Don’t let a bunny die or you lose.”

The play screen was comprised of about half a dozen cages, each with its’ own bunny sprite. With the right buttons I could reward them with food, water, and clean straw. I could even given them a “rabbit treat” which appeared to be some kind of special food item. I could use a demand button to ask a specific bunny to perform a single task such as be petted, do a trick, or dance a rabbit jig.

I have to admit, it was an addictive game. I spent a lot of the first few days trying to learn how to maximize the happiness of my farm’s inhabitants. If I wasn’t at work, I was in the game.

The sheer number of options of commands left me dumbstruck. There was a Scribblenauts-esque system allowing for hours of experimentation. Maybe I let the power go to my head a bit, but what good is being a god if you can’t throw a few lighting bolts. I can’t be the only person to remove a swimming pool ladder or two.

My favorite rabbit, Jasper, danced on command for me for over an hour. Morris’ cage might have been slightly on the damp side when I gave him a few extra helpings of water. Jenny literally ran in circles when ever I felt like it.

Once, just for the hell of it, I asked one of them to eat it’s poo. Shrugging was it’s only response. I asked again. A vehement “no” motion with it’s head was the only response. I asked again, but met with further resistance.

Remembering the unused punishment icon, I gave the bunny a slight taste of what to expect should he keep resisting. An animated jolt struck with Looney Tunsian flare. For a few seconds, just long enough to make me nervous that the game might have froze, it did nothing onscreen. Then, with a start, he obeyed my command.

I wish I could say my newly discovered ability went underutilized. I guess my gaming wanderlust was beginning to set in again. Besides, It was just time efficient to terrorize them into doing what I wanted. I didn’t have to wait for a sleeping bunny to wake up naturally, so I had a lot more to manage in the game at any given time. Also, I never had to deal with a back talking bunny again. At least not until Morris began to bite me every time I wanted to pet him.

No number of special treats could coax him into good behavior. Surly and argumentative to a fault, my patience had reached its’ limit with him. I hit the punishment button and watched the animation. He bit me again. I replied in kind only to have him continue his defiance.

I started experimenting with the setting on the punishment button, and found I could turn the voltage up. Again, I chided him. He showed no improvement. I kept increasing the voltage until I reached the maximum safe amount, as I didn’t want to hurt him seriously. Only defiance met my kind restraint.

That was it. If he wouldn’t obey his god, he earned his fate. I adjusted the voltage to maximum and let loose the punishment icon. Suddenly, the game simply stopped and said “A Bunny had died. You Loose.”

I was about to reset the game when the text changed to “communicating with server. Leader board Updated. Congratulations, You have earned the high score.” As I typed in my name, I barely suppressed a chuckle. My dim-witted bunny with a deathwish, Morris, was at the very bottom.

“He couldn’t even do that right,” I thought.

Unusually, the game resisted my attempts to load it again. It simply returned a message of “Game Completed.” I thought about trying to seek out the source file again and do a clean install, but it was time to experiment with something else.

A few weeks passed and I moved on to new games. It was barely a memory by the time I awoke, struggling against an unknown assailant. Despite my efforts, the attacker had too much of an advantage against someone who’d been asleep just moment prior.

When I awoke, again, I was in a metal lined room with only a computer, a desk, and several tubes for the delivery of food and water. The slight hum of electricity could be heard behind one of the walls. Several dozen familiar names, those from the high score list, were roughly hewn into the desk. The computer was already on, with some variation of Milgram’s Bunny already running. Instead of the normal controls, the layout looked more like something out of a Sims game where I could directly control the rabbits actions. At the top of the screen were the simple instructions, “If you want to live, try to be a good bunny.”

I have been a good bunny haven’t I? I have never bit you once and I dance all the time. The only bad thing I have done is find the debug mode and use it to send you this message. But please, don’t punish me for it . I did it when you were sleeping. You never even noticed.

Or, at least I thought you hadn’t noticed. Did it make you mad? Is that why you won’t feed me. It’s been almost two days since you gave me anything to eat. Just tell me what I did and I will stop.

Do you not like the dancing? Or, do you want me to dance in time with the sprite. I tried it once, but it seemed to have no effect. Have I not let you pet me enough? Did I not perform enough tricks? Anything, I swear to god I will do anything to amuse you, just please don’t kill me.

Please.

Credits to: danatblair