i felt like i should still do something

[TRANS] NYLON Magzine April Issue with NCT 127 — Ment

TAEIL
“When I was a high school student, I somewhat wanted to become a zookeeper. Since I really like animals, I wanted to take care of the animals in my neighbourhood. But after a bit of research, I gave up. The competition rate is high. Somehow, I became an idol where the competition is even more intense, haha. There are two happiest moments in my life, when I passed the SM Audition and when it was confirmed that I will debut with NCT. When I passed the audition, I was so happy I screamed, and when it was confirmed that I will debut, I bursted into tears. Especially when they confirmed my debut, really… I cried and cried until my eyes were puffy. Do you understand this feeling? It’s like there is a clear, bright flamelight somewhere over there, I know there is a bright world, but I feel like I’m just as in the dark as before. I have lived as a trainee for about three years and a half, every day I had this feeling, the moment it was announced that I am going to debut, it was like crawling out of a lonely tunnel. A world filled with bright and golden light, as if El Dorado unfolded in my life. That was a year ago, but even to this day, I still feel good and bewildered. Sometimes when I go on holidays, it really amazes me how on the streets and in shops I go to, there are people who recognise me. I am still inexperienced and I will work hard. Until I am like ‘Super Junior’s Kyuhyun Hyung… I envy his calm personality as well as his sweet voice and abilities. I also want to have his sense of security (stability). It would be a sense of security to be able to have both experience and skill. “

JOHNNY
“I am Johnny from Chicago. Compared to New York, Chicago is quieter and more relaxed. It’s a city where nothing is too hasty but not overly relaxed, this is why I like Chicago. The fact that I come from Chicago is very important, doesn’t the environment shape a person? I want to be someone who will never forgot where they come from, and I try to keep my wish. I’ve been living in Korea for four to five years now. It feels like I have matured a bit after living in Korea for a while. During this time, I have learned to not only think about myself and to respect the grown-ups. It also made me reflect on the importance of ‘myself’. Idols live in the eyes of others and are obligated to live up to their standards. Under such environments, to avoid losing focus, I have to remember who I am. I constantly think about the questions ‘who am I?’ and ‘what kind of person am I?’. I, Johnny, like DJing and playing the piano. I also wish to become a warm (kind) person, and someone who gives other people strength. My ultimate goal is to become a person who, even though is standing still, can still show their great personality. I am still very much flawed, but please believe that I will become that person. “

TAEYONG
“It’s NCT’s leader, Taeyong. NCT127 gave me a lot. I got a job called (being an) idol, I came into the company and met a lot of nice adults, most of all, I made a lot of friends. To me, the members are my best friends. Although I am the leader, rather than me leading the members, there are more times when they helped me. When I was young, I could paint and play the piano, I had a good reputation for expressing myself, and I often received praises, but it wasn’t easy for me to get close to people quickly. Do you like films by Studio Ghibli? I really like them, but the main characters in these films, why are they slightly different from others, they live alone and are lonely, but if you get to know, they are all good people. I’m talking about characters like Howl in ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’. I think I’m that kind of character, after we became NCT I have eight friends. I am grateful. Still, the times that I spend alone are also very important to me. Therefore, no matter how busy I am, when schedules finish I go to the training room alone and dance or practice singing and tidy my thoughts. I think that having time alone has the power of helping me grow and endure the pressure of busy schedules and life as an entertainer. It is my goal to continue to express the days I have lived, the days a youth lived, through rap and music, and after gaining a lot of experience and knowledge, I have a dream of becoming an adult. I want to be a real grown-up who can help and guide the way for the juniors.”

YUTA
“I have this phrase I always say whenever I introduce myself “I’m manly mountain man Yuta”. I really like mountains. In Japanese, the pronunciation of ‘mountain’ and 'top’ is the same. That’s why I’m manly mountain man Yuta. Ah, I really like mountains. Before debut, whenever there was time to spare, I used to go to Bukhansan, Namsan-dong and every mountain in Seoul City alone, whether big or small. Whenever I’m at the mountains, my mind feels like it has been cleaned and I feel at ease. I thought of becoming a singer because of TVXQ sunbaenim. I wanted to become a soccer player when I was young. But after watching TVXQ, everything changed. They were really cool and they felt like gods to me… But after debuting, it’s harder than I thought it would be. Above all,  there’s no free time, I don’t have time to go to my favorite mountains anymore… One day when I was in a lot of stress I asked our EXO sunbaenim “Until when will this be hard?” they answered it will take three years to give up everything and I firstly will need work to my fullest. That advice gave me strength, I thought 'Ah, our Hyungs also went through a lot of hardship’  and this made my heart feel more at ease.
But whenever I’m tired, I’d like to watch sports documentaries. Soccer players in the A-League have to repeat the same strategy for years to improve their own skill. When I look at it, I think of their 'professional spirit’ and I want to become a person like that too. After all, everything is a fight against yourself. Whenever I don’t feel like practicing or just want to laze around. I think it’s important to keep pushing myself. Like this, I want to keep moving forward one step at a time. It’s just like climbing a mountain.”

DOYOUNG
I have an episode (story) that shows well what kind of person I am. When I was in elementary school I wanted to eat an ice cream so I went and bought it but
a car had rolled over my legs. But, I never let go of my ice cream for even one moment. Even when going to the hospital and arriving in the emergency room, I still held on to my ice cream tightly. In the end, I couldn’t eat my ice cream because it all melted. But this shows that when there’s a thing I really like, I tend to only think about that thing. Right now, I’m struck by our team’s music. The music I can do alone and the music and voices I can do when the 9 of us are together are definitely different. Nowadays, I think a lot about what kind of music our team would fit best. I don’t want to do just common things. Music is a 'proof of existence’ to me. Since I was young, I really liked singing but my parents never really told me 'good job’. To prove my ability, I started to participate in singing competitions. And when I was in high school, I went to the singing contest hosted by the province and got the first prize. That’s when my family started to acknowledge my singing ability. Since then, music has always seemed to give me a feeling of “this is it.” I don’t really have a role model, but I want to be a vocalist who can be recognized after singing just a single line. Like Adam Levine or Lyn sunbaenim. By the way, do you know Lyn’s song 'Love U. . Love U’? You should have a listen. It’s a song accompanied by a piano with delicate vocals

JAEHYUN
“ When I was young, at home I would frivolously laugh well and would have a talkative personality but strangely at school words wouldn’t come out. I’m also shy and somehow felt like I should stay quiet too… That’s why I spent a lot of time alone and my 4th grade elementary school teacher recommended extracurricular activities. I then realized the joy of standing in front of people for the first time doing variety of activities. I think the joy I felt at that time made me do it today. In fact, it’s still nice and fun to be standing in front others and not being burdened. However, it’s hard when I’m not as strong as I expect. Even if you practice but your skills don’t change, do something else. If you can’t dance, sing, when singing falls into a slump, you can watch a movie… Then a moment to be okay will come. I realized as I went many time through that process that I was interested in dancing, singing, movies and so on. That’s what I’m all about. Eventually, it’s obvious but it’s true that you have to be a good person to be a great artist. Being known is nice and receiving love is nice too but I want to be a better person. Someone who doesn’t deceive, someone who is confident of himself. And after a decade, he continues to endlessly finding out what he likes diligently, I want to be someone who continues to enjoy. A person who doesn’t lose his enthusiasm for what he does, that’s the kind of person I find cool. “ \

WINWIN
“ I’m Winwin from China. I have a deep fear of strangers. I’m also more of the shy type. However, if we’re close then I’m a completely different person. I play around a lot… NCT members all tease me for being a “heodang” (T/N: someone who looks perfect but acts stupid) Ah, furthermore! I am a smart person. When me or any of my friends have problems, I can solve them all! Don’t believe me? It’s for real. When my friends encounter problems they always find me first. Because of school, starting from middle school I had to leave my family in Wenzhou to go to Beijing alone. Compared to other people my age, I think I’ve developed a better ability to control and cope with situations. Therefore I was able to adjust to life in Korea without difficulty. I’ve been in Korea for a year and a half and met a lot of cool people. EXO’s Lay hyung is one of them. Dancing and singing, he is good at them both but besides that Lay hyung has a charisma that’s unexplainable in words. I want to also have my own kind of charm someday. My story, what else? Someday I want to act. I’m confident I can cooly play a the lead character in a film about everyday life. Also, I like R&B… my favorite song? I’ll let you know next time. If I tell you too much about me, the charm will be gone! “

MARK
I have a lot of laughter. I laugh about things that don’t make sense and when I was young, I was a kid with a lot of high spirits. Nonetheless, isn’t it more pleasant to be positive rather than depressed? I started <High School Rapper> with a cheerful mind. I did not come with the thought of wanting to compete and win the first place. The thought of wanting to learn was bigger. But when I went out, it was more stimulating than I thought. It’s also a place where I can see the talents of kids of my age around the country, and there are a lot of great friends. Above all, I have already debuted and come from a huge company. I have a lot of people who can help me and guide me. However, these kids who came out there in the competition are alone and they practice alone, I really respect that courage and will. At first, when it started, it was good to have fun, but I have to work hard too, as far as I can. I rap a lot for the team (NCT) but now it seems a bit funny to separate myself from being a rapper or a singer. From now on, without being bound to one restricted area, I want to be an artist who makes good songs and expresses them. Like Michael Jackson’s 'Man in the Mirror’, I want to create a song that is bright and is hopeful for people. The kind of music that can have a good influence on the world. That is my dream.

HAECHAN
“I’m NCT 127’s youngest Haechan. I’m in charge of being the 'cutie boy’, haha, these are not my words but the hyungs. The Hyungs really adore me a lot. Instead of giving you a common introduction, I will tell you the songs of my life. The first one is 'Hello’ by Huh Gak sunbaenim. Since I was young, I liked this song a lot. My parents both play music so naturally, I thought I would also definitely play music too. And one day, my mom came and said: “there’s an audition, let’s give it a go”. I went with a light heart and thought of having fun but unexpectantly, I passed the audition in one try. The song I sang at that time was 'Hello’ from Huh Gak sunbaenim. That’s how I got through the auditions and started my trainee life. I didn’t really know at the time but I seemed to hit puberty when I was fifteen. My mood swings were pretty severe. Whenever I cried, I would go to a dark room and listen to 'She’s Out of My Life’ or `You Are Not Alone’. It was Michael Jackson who seemed to have protected me during my puberty. Also, more important than any other song of my life is NCT’s debut song 'Fire Truck’. I was dazed and confused when I recorded the song, but listening to it now I realize it’s a great song. I think 'Fire Truck’ will be my song of life until I die. When I look back, I think about all the other debuted teams when we debuted and watched the sunbaenims who had already debuted. The teams, who made their debut together with us, were also very good and talented. I thought that 'I cannot hold too much hope, if we don’t work hard enough we will be buried (underneath the other teams)’ and worked even harder after our debut. I’m practicing these days to improve singing and dancing. Although I still lack a lot, I will do well. I’ll have more confidence in myself.”

Translation: Teddy, Selin, Rini, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: NYLON April Issue

Please take out with full credit

Never Have I Ever

“Never have I ever been to Taco Bell.” Every other player except Ethan put down a finger.

“What??” Mark yelled in response, causing Ethan to flinch. “How have you never had Taco Bell?”

“I just haven’t,” Ethan explained with a small laugh. Mark just shook his head in disappointment and let the game continue. He was really just upset that he was losing. Ethan still had up 5 fingers, Ty had 6 left, but Mark was down to 2.

“Never have I ever dated a guy,” Tyler said. Ethan and Ty both left up all fingers while Mark was forced to put one down.

“It was for a month!” Mark said angrily, causing the other two boys to laugh. “Fine, you wanna be a dick, two can play at that game! Never have I ever had a kidney transplant!”

“You fucking dick,” Ty muttered under his breath while putting down a finger. Mark just gave him a sly smirk before gesturing to Ethan to continue the game.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a YouTuber,” Eth said with a sly smile, knowing he was knocking Mark out of the game.

“You fucking bitch! Fuck you!” Mark yelled at Ethan. It was all in good fun, which meant Eth was busting up laughing at how angry the older man got. Mark got up and went to the kitchen to grab some snacks, leaving Eth and Ty to finish the game. Eth looked at Ty waiting for him to take his turn when he noticed something odd.

“Ty, don’t you have 5 fingers left? You were beating me,” Eth asked confused.

“Well I WAS a minute ago,” Ty replied, joking condescension clear in his voice.

“What? Oh wait, you…wait a fucking minute!” Eth said, not understanding at first.

“Shut up Eth,” Ty said, knowing where the conversation was heading.

“You’ve had a crush on a YouTuber?? What? When? Who? Why didn’t I know this? Do I know them?” Ethan rambled on until Ty covered his mouth with his rather large hands.

“Eth, if you don’t stop talking, I will shove a peanut down your throat,” Ty threatened before letting his grip loosen and removing his hand.

“We don’t even have any peanuts in the house you big bully,” Ethan said with mock sadness, putting on his best sad puppy dog face, to which Tyler just rolled his eyes and laughed. “But really, you have to tell me.”

“I’m not telling you,” Ty said firmly, but smiling.

“But Tyyllleeeeeeerrrrrrr,” Ethan drew out the name while clinging on to his arm, “You have to tell me!”

“I’m not telling you!” Ty said again, a little more forcefully. “It’s really nothing anyways, no big deal.”

“It’s? as in It IS? As in CURRENT?” Eth asked.

“No, I mean…it wasn’t…or…it is? I don’t even know,” Ty replied sounding exasperated.

“Well do you like them or not?” Ethan asked in a more serious tone. He really wanted to help his friend sort out his feelings.

Ty glanced up at Ethan for a second, making eye contact with the blue boy before answering, “Yeah. I really think I like him. A lot.”

Eth felt a blush creeping up on his cheeks. He knew Ty wasn’t talking about him, but either way, he still could hold on to that last shred of hope of Ty returning his feelings. “Well then maybe you should just go for it. Message them and ask them to go get dinner sometime or something,” Eth offered his advice. “Do they live around here? I guess I should have asked that before saying you should get dinner,” he added awkwardly.

“Yeah, they live pretty close by. You think I should go for it?” Ty asked, sounding more insecure than Eth had ever heard him say.

“Definitely,” Ethan said. He really wanted Ty to find someone, even if it meant Ty didn’t return his feelings.

“I think I will. I’ll message him right now.” Ty said, picking up his phone. That seemed to be the end of that conversation, so Ethan stood up and headed downstairs to the living room where he found Mark watching TV. He sat down on the couch and pulled out his phone to check twitter when he noticed a text.

‘Hey, I think you’re pretty cute. Wanna have dinner sometime? -Ty :)’

Ethan couldn’t help but blush and chuckle a bit to himself before sending a reply.

‘Get down here you doof so I can kiss you <3’


~~~~~~~~~

I know this is a pretty cliche storyline, but oh well. I didn’t see one for this ship so I figured might as well. Hope you liked it!

His hands were the first to touch me after yours. They were strong, but they weren’t aggressive, they were steady. Quiet and soft, yours were always unsure.
I think about the way his fingers grazed the sides of my waist when he was kissing my neck, while yours would barely touch an inch of my flesh, as if you were afraid to break me.
I can still remember the sweet nothings you’d whisper into my ear and the way you’d press your lips against mine but it never felt like you meant it.
For months after you, I don’t know why, but I didn’t want to be touched by anyone else. I craved your hands, and late at night I’d be staring out my window, asking the moon for answers on whether or not I should dial your number.
But I didn’t. I still think about you often, because I still love you. But the reason I am tangled in his sheets and my clothes are on his floor is because he made me feel like someone wanted me, and that is something you could never do.
—  I’m not sorry, delicatevoids

technoskittles  asked:

“does that line ever work?” - ladynoir

It was nearly impossible to keep from smiling, but somehow Chat managed, chin resting in his hand as he watched his partner’s arms shake and swing about in a fuming rage. He had never seen her so angry, and that included the one (many) times they had had to save Chloe Bougeois from one of her own victims.

“-and the nerve of him! ‘Are you even French?’ Of course I’m French, what kind of question is that? Who even asks someone that?”

“Tourists?” Chat offered.

“Tourists!” Throwing her arms up again, Ladybug scowled at Chat. “They’re the bane of my existence, Chat Noir! They never heed the akuma warnings, always pulling out their phones instead of running away like they should be!”

Discreetly, Chat tapped on his baton to check the time. Only eight minutes had passed, although it felt like longer to him. Still, there was something amusing about seeing his usually unflappable partner up in arms about something so small.

“-because I don’t have expected stereotypical French accent doesn’t mean I’m not French! I’m bilingual for god’s sake! Was I supposed to be wearing a beret and carrying a baguette while saving his butt from turning into a chew toy? Do I look like I’m not from here, chaton?”

Startled from his thoughts, Chat’s response was automatic, “It might be the bright red and polka dots, perhaps? But I personally have no doubt you’re from France, my Lady, because Eiffel for you.”

There was a long pause.

Ladybug blinked first, and then let out a very unladylike snort. “Did you really just…”

Coughing, Chat gestured around them to the large steel girders that served as their lookout for the day. “Are we not sitting on the Eiffel tower right now?”

“Okay but.. Does that line ever work?”

“It worked on you, didn’t it?”

“Is that what you think happened just now?” Ladybug’s tone was dry as the Sahara desert. “I’m swooning, Chat, really. Why are we dating again?”

Chat clutched his chest, eyes wide. “I’ll have you know it takes skill to come up with these lines, Ladybug. You have to consider your environment, the timing, who you’re talking to… it takes time to master such a thing. And we’re dating because of my winning personality.”

“Uh huh…”

“It’s true!” he insisted loudly. “Not everyone can just… come up with these on the fly, you know!”

“So if I were to mention cats and tongues…” Ladybug trailed off, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Green eyes narrowed. “You did not just-”

“What, you didn’t think that one was purrfect?” She batted her eyelashes at him, making him growl.

“I’ll have you know, you just ruined a perfectly good line-”

“I thought it was pawsitively great.”

“Okay, no, first of all you’re just using puns, not even pick up lines,” he complained, “and second of all-”

A warm hand came to rest on his chest, and Chat didn’t even have time to open his mouth before he found himself on his back, with Ladybug smirking down at him. “I thought cats were always supposed to land on their feet, but I guess not since I just swept you off yours.”

Neither of them acknowledged the tension in the air as Chat stood up with a chuckle, brushing his suit clean. They both knew it would be dealt with after they were finished patrolling. “Extenuating circumstances, my Lady.”

“Well, Eiffel first, so it’s only fair that you fell second,” she teased. 

He blinked slowly. “But… I already used Eiffel, you can’t use Eiffel. That’s not fair.”

Ladybug leaned up, soft lips brushing against his ear as she whispered, “recycling is good for the environment, chaton.”

“… I think I’m in love.”

Send me prompts!

November Third (part three)

as always, for @o0o-chibaken-o0o. may her birthday last many days.

bingo l part one l part two l part three l part four l part five l part six l part seven l updates to come…

Draco was furious. First, that wild animal of Hagrid’s had attacked him - and he still had the sling to prove it even if it wasn’t completely necessary - and second, one of the horrid nifflers that same oaf had brought onto school grounds had ambushed Draco and stolen the shiny Malfoy crest pin right off his robes.

If his father found out he had lost the pin, he would be in the deepest pools of absolute shitville. It was an heirloom worth more than Hagrid’s entire life, if the pathetic hut he had followed the niffler into was any indication.

He could hear the stupid creature - it almost sounded like it was laughing at him - but he couldn’t see it. Where was the damn thing? He cast stunning spells around the cabin recklessly, waiting for the stupid noise to stop so he could rescue his pin. But no matter where he cast, the creature’s laughter continued.

Draco hastily tucked his wand away, picking up one of Hagrid’s oversized chairs instead and throwing it across the room for good measure. “This is not happening,” he muttered to himself. “This is absolute - “

“Caught you at a bad time, Malfoy?” Interrupted a very familiar voice from behind Draco.

“Get stuffed, Potter,” Draco responded without even looking around. “I’m not in the mood to deal with you.” Although he knew that wouldn’t be the end of it. He’d been trashing Potter’s favourite teacher’s house - it was all too likely the encounter would end in a one-handed duel. For the first time, he regretted insisting Madam Pomfrey put his arm in a sling.

Sure enough. Potter jumped straight into accusations: “What do you think you’re doing in here?” There was anger in his voice of course - Potter’s temper was a precarious thing - but glee too - clearly at the excitement of catching Draco out.

Draco swivelled around and leant back on Hagrid’s table - better to be facing his opponent when the first curse was cast. “One of that half-breed’s nifflers is what - “

“His name is Hagrid,” interrupted Potter in the cold, serious voice he reserved for showing off what a flawless, noble prick he was.

“Whatever,” Draco said dismissively, because he knew better than to fight the point when Potter used that voice. Rage fuelled Potter’s power and Draco did not feel like being on the receiving end of a bombarda disguised as an expelliarmus right now. “One of his nifflers has stolen my Malfoy crest pin and if I - “

“You have a Malfoy crest pin?”

Draco didn’t appreciate Potter’s condescending tone so he bit back. “Of course. You would’t understand since you don’t have a family.”

Potter didn’t even flinch at the quip. He wandering into the hut, assessing the damage Draco had made. “You really need some new material,” he said calmly over his shoulder as he picked up the thrown chair, but Draco could see the white of Potter’s knuckles quite clearly.

“Perhaps if I wasn’t so busy chasing this stupid niffler, I’d have the time to come up with something witty enough for you, Potter,” Draco retorted, mentally preparing himself to pull out his wand if Potter made a move - it seemed imminent. “Now if you don’t mind, I prefer it if you wandered somewhere else.”

Potter turned back to Draco. This was it. Draco edged his free arm towards the pocket of his robes - towards the safety of his wand. “Hagrid’s a good person, you know.”

Draco dropped his arm. He hadn’t been expecting that. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You provoked Buckbeak. I know you know it. And now Hagrid might lose his -“

“Have you not seen my arm, Potter?” Interrupted Draco before he could be guilt-tripped - that was Potter’s speciality. “I was viciously attacked.”

“We both know your arm is completely fine, Malfoy. Stop the act. I’m asking you to have some decency and - “

“Ah,” Draco laughed - Potter was really quite skilled at getting on his noble bloody high horse. “But you seem to have already made up your mind that I have no decency. So why should I bother?”

“What do you care what I think?”

“I don’t,” Draco said quickly. He was just making a point for merlin’s sake - did Potter have to be so…so…urgh.

“You still have time to take it back. Get rid of that stupid sling and apologise.”

“My father already - ”

“Your father is a-

“Not one more word, Potter!” Draco went for his wand instinctively, his arm jerking his sling open as he reached for - the sling! Shit. He froze, realising what he’d done, and looked up to gauge Potter’s reaction.

Potter didn’t look surprised but worse, he just looked unimpressed. He crossed his arms and stared at Draco with that one static look that made Draco want to fall inside himself and disappear. Draco couldn’t move - not even to return his arm back into the sling. Any move he made would be too telling under Potter’s eye. Why couldn’t Potter just stop staring already?

And then something strange happened - Potter sighed, releasing a long drawn out breath - and when he spoke, it appeared his previous anger had vacated in the same air. “Have you tried coaxing it out with something else valuable?”

It took Draco a couple of seconds to process the question. After all that, they were back to the niffler? “Like what?”

Potter silently pulled a golden snitch from his pocket and placed it at his feet.

The combination of the snitch and finding himself alone with Potter, drew up a memory of the previous year, one Draco thought he had successfully erased from his head. But no, the faint sound of Potter’s laughter rang in his ears once more. Draco fought hard not to enjoy it.

A husky sniffling sound brought Draco back to the present - the niffler! It had crawled out from underneath Hagrid’s stove and was shuffling to the snitch, making its greedy little noises as it did. Draco reached for his wand - with his uninjured arm this time - but Potter stopped him with a raised hand. Draco obeyed automatically, but immediately wished he hadn’t. Since when did he follow Harry Potter?

Potter waited until the niffler raised a grubby little paw above the snitch before he dropped to the ground with impressive speed, grabbing it with gentle hands.  He turned it upside down and stroked its belly, all the while making the most revolting cooing sounds Draco had ever heard. Is this what Potter was like around babies?

After far too much cooing, a number of shiny objects began to fall from the niffler’s clutches - galleons, necklaces, something that looked exactly like the hair pin Professor McGonagall wore, and there it was - the Malfoy crest. Potter’s hand shot out and caught it before it hit the ground - now he was just showing off. He placed the niffler lightly on the ground - where it promptly picked up the rest of its valuables and scampered behind the stove again - and walked over to Draco.

“Here,” he said, holding out the pin. Draco was sure to take it with his good arm. He needn’t have bothered - Potter didn’t look away from his face, a steely expression on his own. Oh merlin - Draco already knew there was something preachy coming. And: “You don’t have to be your father, you know. We don’t choose our family.”

Draco blinked back at Potter as his hands closed over the pin. He should have been angry at the audacity of Potter to comment on his family, but he couldn’t work up the energy for a fight. So he just took his family crest back from Potter’s hand silently, an automatic thank you dying before it reached his lips.

Potter waited there a moment as if expecting Draco to reply - but how was he supposed to reply to something like that? When enough time had passed in silence to make the moment truly awkward, Potter shrugged and walked to the door.

“Wait, Potter - “

“Yes?” Potter turned around immediately.

Shit. Malfoy hadn’t meant to say anything. How had that even come out of his mouth? And he certainly hadn’t expected Potter to stop. Shit. Potter was looking at him expectantly. Draco found himself trapped between the way he wanted to act and how he was supposed to act around Harry Potter. He hadn’t felt like that since the day he - wait. “What day is it?”

Potter looked at him strangely.  “Wednesday? November Third? Why do you - “

November Third. The day I beat you. It was a coincidence. It had to be. But still, something seemed off. On every other day, Draco never felt like this. Never felt anything other than hatred towards Potter. They were arch enemies. That was how it should be. This was wrong. Like he’d been cursed. Which didn’t make sense unless -

“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, Potter, but I’m not having a bar of it.” Draco pushed past Potter and made his own dramatic exit before Potter could continue his.

November Third. It couldn’t have any significance. Really. That was absurd. It was just Potter. Being his usual do-gooder self, trying to get Draco to feel something. Merlin. He needed to stay away from Potter. Every day of the year. Or he was going to lose his mind.

Bingo progress under the cut…

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I saw this on another account but how do you think Shawn would react if his gf was mad that Katy touched his butt, cause I would! (You could write the scenario;))

MASTERLIST

It’s Not Jealousy 

word count: 1,360

“Just grab it babe, grab my butt” Shawn laughed, shaking his booty at your face.

“Stop Shawn” you said annoyed, pushing him away from you.

“Come on y/n, just give it a rough squeeze. Your hands on my booty is better than Katy’s. Don’t be jealous” he joked, still waving his butt at your face.

“Seriously Shawn, back off” you said, rolling your eyes frustrated at him.

Keep reading

“I liked the building, not you.” PT.2

A/N: Hope you guys like this, because I’m back and the next part I’m REALLY excited for. 

Paring: Shawn X Fan

Word Count: 5,625


“You what!” My friend Mica almost yelled.

I shushed her looking around hoping that she hadn’t drawn too many eyes to us. I only found a few but they didn’t linger before going back to their laptops or lunch. Turning back I was smiling at her outburst but wanting to contain it. I swatted at her telling her to shut up before crossing my legs and stirring my iced drink.

“Oh my god, are you fucking serious?” She continued. “You fucking with me right now. You did not meet Shawn Mendes on the fucking street!”

Keep reading

Speak Softly, Love (1)

Originally posted by luhan-vevo


Part 2 |  Part 3

“Speak softly, love so no on hears us but the sky, the vows of love we make will live until we die…”

Note:The song Speak Softly, Love by Andy Williams (yes this is the song from The Godfather) greatly inspired this story, hence the story title. I’m not telling you to listen to it, but listen to it ;)

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Member: Sehun

Warnings: 

Masterlist


You twirled the glass of wine that was on the table in front of you, sighing as you gazed at the dance floor. Your father has always liked to have these glamorous parties, or events, as he liked to call them, that attracted the rich and sometimes a few well known singers that were made successful by your father himself. A lot of illegal gambling secretly went on during nights like these, meaning more money coming in for him which is probably why your father enjoyed holding these things so much.

Being the daughter of the Don, leader of the Mafia, had its perks and some downfalls as well. Number one would probably be attending this. As much as you didn’t enjoy being here, you did it for your father. He, for some reason liked it when you sat in on these. It must have been since your mother died that he became like this, but you would never know since you never asked. 

You were his pride and joy, he’d always say. You and the Mafia were all he had and he treasured both with his life. 

A familiar figure began approaching you, your heart began to beat a little faster at the sight of the young man approaching you. 

It was Sehun.

Keep reading

"So what now?"

My first request: @16reasonswhy16q7w said;
But hey ima request, can you do an imagine where clay is in love with you but feels like it’s wrong because of everything that happened with Hannah and her being gone but he is really falling for the reader so he gives in

Also while I was at school someone threatened to shoot up local high schools and I could’ve died so yeah…

•••

Clay mindlessly exchanged books from his locker according to the classes he had left. Honestly, he was just killing time. What Clay was really doing was waiting for a certain h/c haired girl.

Clay heard the familiar voice of y/n; she was still at her locker (three lockers down from Hannah’s old locker) talking to one of her friends. Some feeling similar to guilt filled his stomach. He wasn’t sure why so he re-concentrated on his locker.

Then for a moment he thought he saw a brown haired girl in a white shirt. Hannah Baker. Clay closed his eye and shook his head, when he opened it Hannah was gone. He wasn’t sure which way he liked better; but he knew he liked y/n.

Like he’d ever tell anyone, especially her. After everything that happened… y/n closed her locker and she paused; y/n just stared at Hannah’s locker.

Clay mentally scolded himself…y/n was well known here. At first she was just one of Hannah’s friends that he was too shy to talk to; now the whole school knew her as the girl who had the breakdown after Hannah.

“Hey y/n,” Clay said before even giving himself a chance to decide if he was going to approach her.

Y/n smiled slightly, but it wasn’t the kind he liked. Clay remembered her genuine smiles, the kind that went to her eyes. This smile was a practiced polite smile, one that showed she was closed off.

“Hi Clay,” she replied. Clay didn’t know what to say and he wished he had prepared better. He didn’t know why he felt so awkward, he knew y/n she was a friend. She seemed extra annoyed this morning. “What’s wrong?”

Y/n let out a sigh. “My parents are a little paranoid since I haven’t been going out since…the point is I haven’t gone on dates or parties or anything.” She sighed once again, “my mom’s considering forcing me into joining a painful agony that is emotional therapy.”

Clay wasn’t sure if this was a sign or if this was fate being taunting. “We could hand out this weekend.” Y/n paused raising an eyebrow. “I-I mean to get your parents off your case so you don’t have to go to that.”

Y/n contemplated his offer. “I accept to these terms and conditions,” she responded in a kidding tone.

“Alright,” Clay said trying to sound much more relaxed than he felt. “I should get to class but I’ll text you for a day.”

As Clay started to turn away y/n responded. “You do realize you need my number to text me, right?”

For the first time, y/n felt like she looked forward to something. There always was this guilt for what happened; if she had called more maybe Hannah would still be her.

Clay listened. Listened to the tape.

*** (this is Hannah’s voice in the tape)***

Y/n l/n, where to start with this one. Don’t worry, she isn’t a–not like the others. But she deserves to have a testimony.

Y/n with the h/c hair, the girl always reminded me of hot chocolate. She in herself could solve someone’s problem the same way hot chocolate could.

We were allies long before we were friends. Then one day she showed up, showed up with this expression. Anger, sadness, and fear rolled into one. The expression didn’t fit her. She was too pretty to look so sad.

We were at the lockers and I asked her what’s the matter and I swear she almost told me. But instead she snapped and told me to leave her alone. She broke down though…the way hot chocolate ended was the same way she snapped. It was the greatest falling out.

***

Clay knew better than to bring this up. All he did was wait for Saturday.

***

Eventually the day came and y/n wore her grey t-shirt and light blue ripped jeans. She didn’t know what to expect but her mother was happy; and that was one less thing to feel bad about.

Y/n met up with Clay at the park. It was weird for her to be here again. She felt these butterflies…did she like Clay? That’s ridiculous, then Clay’s hand brushed her hand. The butterflies got stronger–yep, she liked him. Maybe even something more.

Clay couldn’t, and that’s why he wanted to so badly. After the whole Hannah incident any feelings like that toward anyone were terrible. Then she smiled, that specific breath stealing smile. He couldn’t stop himself before he took y/n’s hand.

“I know you’ve got complications,” he muttered.

Y/n froze, “I-I.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not like that. I just know you and Hannah had a falling out.” The phrase ‘falling out’ made y/n flinch. “A-are you okay?”

Y/n shivered slightly and shook her head. “Y-yeah, just a bit cold.”

Clay handed her his jacket and y/n took it but gave him a confused expression. “Well you said you were cold.”

“Thanks,” y/n said.

“Look I don’t care what happened or what you did or didn’t do…I-I like you a lot.” His admission made her freeze. “Just forget it.”

When y/n’s shock died down she asked a question. “What if I don’t want to forget it?”

Clay gave a small, sarcastic smile. “Are you saying you like me?”

Y/n would never admit that. “I’m not saying I’m not saying that.”

Her expression made him laugh. “I like you a lot, y/n l/n.”

“I like you a lot too, Clay Jensen.” Y/n replied.

Bye the time she realized that she had admitted it was too late.“

“You said it,” Clay teased!

Y/n defended herself, “shut up.”

Clay smiled and once again before he knew what he was doing he did it. He leaned in and kissed y/n. For a moment he didn’t care about anything or everything that had happened or could happen. All he cared about was that he was with y/n.

Y/n pulled away first. “I like you too.”

“So, what now?”

Y/n took his hand. “So, what now indeed.”

***

I hoped you liked this :)) also I’m willing to do a prologue or part 2 just let me know!

Real shit. Let’s talk.

• I really have been vague with the real reason I left the Undertale fandom. I don’t think simply lying and saying I lost interest in it is enough.


I was debating on even typing this whole thing out. I’ll spare you to commentary on how I even got into the fandom in the first place. This is more just.. what I put myself through just because I wanted to get noticed.


When I made Lucid, he was a late night laugh concept where me and a friend were throwing around ideas at bloody 3 am and tired as hell.


I posted him for shits and giggles a few weeks passed and my friend suggested submitting him to Rouge. That’s where all of this started.


By me simply submitting a concept to someone that was so well known in Undertale at the time. With all the overwhelming positive response to him even being noticed by Jakei and Joku it felt like so much pressure on my part.


Please, never push yourself to development of a character just because people know them. After that point it became an unhealthy time in my life where all I cared about was getting this character known. In hopes of some sort of Fame which is something you should never do to yourself. Yes even if that was a horrible time for me I made friends in that fandom who I still talk to today. I got to talk to Neko, Jakei , Rouge etc people who I really looked up too. Wanting feedback and advice was one thing but wanting constant attention for a character is bloody sad and stupid.


I needed to get my shit together, I realized what that had done to my mental health last year and I finally pulled myself out of it. I still like the game itself but after what I put myself through I can’t go back to the fandom because I fear that I’ll do this again.


The lesson in this all is… Don’t make the same mistake as I did, not just in the Undertale fandom but in any fandom.


Don’t be toxic to yourself just because you want your character to be known and become popular… To the point where you sabotage your own mental health and social life.


You can simply write this as me being a dumb ass but I just needed to finally confess this.


Thank you for your time. •

Dear Anonymous:

1. I hope she reacts well to your inclinations. I used to love someone like that too. I hope she loves you back. I hope you’re happy.

2. I just want to love too. I think soulmates work that way because life’s too short to be stuck to one person, but one person can change your whole perspective– one person is all it takes to fuel the rest of your life with passion. It’s always worth the rejection. We were built to break and rebuild. Sometimes heartbreak is the way in, but it’s also the way out. Timing is everything. Timing is everything… if you didn’t meet them when you weren’t ready, you’ll never be ready for someone else when they’re ready for you.

3. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay– love is love, right? Who cares if you’re in love with a she or a he, they’ll break you apart or keep you together. It’s such an odd thing. To die and live in a simple three word sentence.

4. A book? By the end of this year, it’ll happen.

5. I am from the darkest corner of your thoughts, the sun crawling through your curtains– I’m the cup of coffee that needs a fuck ton of sugar. I’m the distance we had to keep, I’m the apologies that made us weep.

6. An apology seems to be my only way to start the day as of lately. I’m sorry too.

7. Love is a coffee shop, we’re just the misplaced books. We’re the sentences, we’re the typos. I’ll be the incorrect emoji for the moment, if you’ll be the text sent to the wrong person. I’ll say I love you if you never say it back. I’ll love you if you don’t love me back. You can be sure about that. You can be sure about that…

8. My mind feels kinda broken, I guess we’re all kinda messed up sometimes.

9. This is not talent, this is hard work. Don’t confuse the two. I was not born with this, I woke up one morning like this. I will die with this, I will ink my whole life into your skin if you let me.

10. You loved them enough to let them go. There’s nothing more beautiful than that one simple realization. I will love you from afar and we’ll both grow. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? I don’t think it would’ve worked out anyway, we need this. This time spent apart, we need this. All of it.

11. “Don’t ever make someone your person when they don’t even know how to be their own.” Realest shit I ever read. Big ups.

12. I will never quit writing. She’s always reading. She’s always reading.

13. I’m sorry, I think we’re all in need of assistance. We can’t do it alone. Go out and make a few new friends. They’ll help. I promise.

14. Shit, I don’t know either. I wake up like that. It sucks, but you’ll figure out the truth eventually. I promise.

15. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. How can I answer you if I don’t even know the answers myself? I’m just human. I’m just like you. Nothing new here, just more human frailties.

16. It’s been a year plus, but I still love her too. We’re all missing someone, we just need an outlet.

17. Love doesn’t like to break even, love doesn’t like to remain still– love should feel like a few broken ribs, love should feel like a few torn heartstrings– but love should also feel delicate, love should also be soft.

18. I don’t know what language you’re speaking in, but I’m pretty sure it’s definition is beautiful. Stay beautiful.

19. I fade away every night. If you want to be nothing, I get it. It’s the easy way out. The shortcut to the end. Who doesn’t want that? But choosing to live, choosing to figure it out. That’s commendable. Always is. Always will be.

20. You need to let go of him because until you do… you’ll always be dependent of him. You’ll never be yourself. There is more oneness in loving yourself first versus oneness in loving someone for the sake of feeling whole. Love is an illusion.

21. If I am the Galaxy, then explain my black holes. How many times must I die before I feel like it’s time to live?

22. People can die from a broken heart, but people also forget that they’re a garden. You are the roses. You are the florist. You are the sun. You are the sun. You are the blossom. You are the growth. You are the bees. You grow into me, like how I’ll grow into you.

23. Thank you doesn’t even start to explain you.

24. Fear is a powerful tool for motivation. Use it wisely.

25. If you don’t want it to end, then write it down. Because some day, he might not be there. Some day, all you’ll have are those words. Nothing lasts forever and that’s just something that we must remember. How can you love yourself if you don’t keep that in mind?

26. I’m sorry. I’m not him. I’m not you. How can I possibly give you some ending? We’re all looking for more poison to fill our veins with.

27. I slept for 24 hours, but I’m still tired.

28. It’s hard to backtrack too.

29. It ends when your heart gives out on you. It ends when your search hits a brick walls it ends when your lights dim just enough for you to read the truth etched into your skin like a story that was never supposed to be told. We were meant to feel the love stories, but we could never keep the last page from ringing true. The truth is I love you too.

30. I’ll let you know right now. I am not your ex. And if in some way, I am… then know that no one is out to get you. The only person that’s doing that is you. Waking up to fear is no way to live. Letting go… it’s an excellent start.

31. My opinion on loving someone that doesn’t love you back anymore is this: if you’re doing it. Stop. Just stop. Save yourself some time. Stop yourself from that mistake. It doesn’t end well for you. It doesn’t end well for your emotions. Start with you. It’s a good place.

32. I’m not Filipino.

33. Hello.

34. Pretty crimson leaves used for a pretty crimson sneeze.

35. We’ll never be the same. Change is the only way to live your life.

36. I’m from the same place that all poets were born into. A Silk Road of heartbreaks and slow songs.

37. We’re all unique. From your first thought of today to your DNA.

38. Maybe kiss him today? Fuck it. Life’s too short. Let the make out sessions begin.

39. My thoughts sink us into tomorrow.

40. They say that the smaller you write, the more you care about others. The bigger you write, the more love you’ve got for yourself.

41. I’m afraid that you’re right.

42. There’s always beauty in loneliness. The way he reads that book from across the street. The way she pulls back her hair to drink her tea. The way they fell in love made yesterday like a today we’ll never share.

43. The question is the answer.

44. I’ll call you some day.

45. I’m looking for myself. Shouldn’t we all?

46. You’re a beautiful creature too.

47. Two strangers? The start of every love story.

48. You can call me K.C.

49. Twice by Madeline Stauffer

50. Nothing is wrong with you. There is only more to love.

51. And that’s exactly why I’m answering all of them in this post.

52. I changed my URL because I wanted it to be less about her and more about me.

53. Take a break and walk around. Artificial lighting can hurt us. The sun’s good too.

54. No comment.

55. I’m a robot.

56. I don’t answer anonymous asks anymore because how can I help others if I can’t even help myself kinda realization. My apologies.

57. Poetry about being viewed for only sex… hmm… you sound like somebody I know.

58. Pick yourself first. Always pick yourself.

59. Don’t die. Do not die. There’s so much more out there.

60. Sticking to yourself is a good start.

61. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s only more to love.

62. I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out myself actually.

63. I’ll draw more once my mind is less exhausted.

64. There’s nothing wrong with reading poetry.

65. Love is something that’s immensely felt and hard to measure.

66. I’m trying to be more than just another broken heart.

67. I feel like a disappointment to myself constantly. We’re too hard on ourselves. It sucks.

68. Maybe they should profess their love to each other?

69. I’m sorry.

70. You should listen to your mother. If she’s your guardian, respect her wishes until you’re of age.

71. Drinking and smoking– there’s nothing wrong with it. Although it is nice to give your body a break here and there.

72. I think you’re right.

73. You need to lean on yourself. Remember that people need space from us. People need room to breathe. You can’t smother them.

74. I love you too.

75. I’m sorry. Maybe you should stay away from him. You’re obviously catching feelings when you shouldn’t.

76. Falling in love with your best friend? That sounds terrific tbh.

77. Are you alive? Suicide isn’t the answer.

78. I’m sorry. You need to give yourself some time to heal. Maybe you’re not ready for love.

79. Sometimes I think I’ll die at an early age too.

80. I love them both.

81. All love stories should hold mysteries.

82. Life is full of regrets– you just need to pick the right ones to live with.

83. You deserve to love yourself first.

84. I’m sorry. Empathy is a bitch, isn’t it?

85. “But it’s the way she smiles, like every bullet missed her…” the only way to smile.

86. I would never give up this part of me.

87. I understand. Give yourself more time.

88. Because people are just as lost as you are.

89. I’m trying to be better. I promise.

90. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

91. Who hasn’t fucked up? It’s learning to be better… that’s the only thing that fucking matters. You’re still here, right?

92. Hold his hand and call him yours.

93. I’m sorry. I can barely understand myself. How can I explain you for who you are?



94. You say that I’m a little harsh. Life is rough. Why would I sugarcoat the truth?
—  The truth about you
blackout | chanyeol (epilogue)

‘‘You know Chanyeol, not every girl is going to do what you say without thinking about it. I tried to be that girl but I failed. I hope your next target is going to be more intelligent than me.’‘

admin: s.                                                                                                                 genre:  angst, fluff, smut (part 3), university student! chanyeol au, fuckboy! chanyeol au

pt.1, pt.2, pt.3

Originally posted by fyeah-chanyeol

When you woke up a few hours after what had happened you had a terrible headache. With slightly blurry eyes you tried to get used to the now brightly lit room. 

Looking around in the room, you realized you were still in Chanyeol’s and Minseok’s shared room. From what you could remember what had happened not long ago was that after you had sex with Chanyeol you knocked out on his bed. Naked.

Your eyes wandered down your body, who was now covered with a blanket. Someone and you hoped Chanyeol, must have put it over you some when last night. 

Slowly you got out of his bed while already searching for your clothes. Every single piece of clothing was scattered around in his room. Looking over to Minseok’s bed you also saw that Chanyeols used condom indeed had landed on it. 

Quickly you put on all of the clothes you had found. That included everything except for your black panties.

A little bit uncomfortable because of the loss of Material under your skirt you opened the door of Chanyeols room. It was not locked anymore what must mean that Chanyeol already left.

Walking out his room you found absolute chaos in front of you. The floor was covered in red cups and weird looking liquids. It smelled like shit and after arriving in the living room you saw the boys scattered around in various places, sleeping. 

You obviously searched after Chanyeol. There was no way you wouldn’t talk with him about what had happened. I mean you had been still this sober that you knew what would happen but Chanyeol also still had seduced you. 

While looking after him you also looked after Jisoo. You hadn’t seen her since she left into the mass of students.

In a mountain of forgotten jackets and purses, you found your stuff. Taking out your phone of your purse you had what felt like hundred calls and messages from Jisoo. The last one saying she would go now since she had already thrown up ones. 

Groaning you looked around one last time but you couldn’t find Chanyeol. Every single one of the boys laid somewhere sleeping, except for Chanyeol and… Kyungsoo?



On the way to Jisoo and your Apartment, you looked around if you could see Chanyeol somewhere. But except for some Students who were smoking, you saw no one. 

Suddenly you spotted Kyungsoo with a big box filled with ten cups of coffee. You stopped in front of him. He also looked pretty done from the party but not as much as for example Sehun who fell asleep on the kitchen table. 

‘‘Kyungsoo, hey. Do you know where Chanyeol is? He’s not in the apartment of yours.’‘ you asked hoping he would know where Chanyeol was.

Kyungsoo looked at you first a little bit confused but then shook his head. ‘’No. Sorry, Y/N. I went out for coffee when he still was sleeping on the couch in the living room beside Jongdae. By the way, I also bought coffee for you since you were the only one that had slept over.’’ Taking out one cup he gave it to you with a half assed smile. 

Taking the cup you thanked him and started walking away. You were glad he hadn’t mentioned that you had had sex with Chanyeol. Somehow you wanted to forget it but you also really enjoyed it. 



The Monday after the Party was horrible. Jisoo was still complaining to you after you told her what had happened at the Party, every student that had attended the party was a walking corpse and you still had a slight headache. From Chanyeol also no sign. 

Walking out of the lecture hall of your fifth period today, you finally had lunch break.

You had agreed with Jisoo to meet up in the park behind the University as always. It was getting chillier by the day so you had your hands deep in the pockets of your jacket. 

Sitting down on your usual bench you waited for Jisoo. While waiting you took out your lunchbox and started eating. You looked around the Park and, to your luck, you finally spotted Chanyeol standing there with the other boys and a bunch of girls. It seemed like he was flirting with one of them. 

You couldn’t help yourself but boiled up. You knew it, he was a fuckboy and only used you. You felt sad, angered, jealous and heartbroken at the same time. You had caught feelings for Chanyeol and you hated yourself for it. 

Standing up from the bench you made it quick in walking over to Chanyeol and this random girl. Your walk getting slower and slower the second you got nearer to them, your confidence from earlier long gone. You hated what Chanyeol made out of you. A broken, weak, little girl. 

Stopping in front of them you brought all your courage up. ‘’Chanyeol, can we please talk for a minute?’’

He looked down at you and chuckled. You couldn’t believe it. Were you only one of his countless toys? 

Telling the girl to go away he finally turned to you. His eyes cold and emotionless as always but his lips embellished an annoying smirk. 

‘‘What do you want, baby.’‘ He said emphasizing the baby at the end. 

You were slightly taken aback by it but you had collected yourself pretty quickly again. ‘’We have to talk about what happened at the party.’’

‘‘Why do you wanna talk about this? We had sex. Nothing more, nothing less. We were both drunk and horny. Something like this can happen, Y/N.’‘ He answered while shrugging his shoulders.

You were broken. You just wanted to die. Trying to prevent the tears from rolling down your rosy cheeks you stared him directly in the eyes. ‘’Are you kidding me Chanyeol? Both, you and I know we weren’t that drunk. Also, you planned that. Don’t lie to me.’’

Taken aback from your now crying state, Chanyeol gulped but still remained in his unbothered position. ‘’Even if I had planned that, you could easily have declined but,’’ he smirked bending down so he was with his face directly in front of yours. ‘’You were craving for my body as much as I was craving for yours that night.’’

Your tears were streaming down your cheeks unstoppable. Inhaling a deep breath you prepared to say something. Stabilizing your voice so you wouldn’t sound so broken you gave him hateful stares. ‘‘You know Chanyeol, not every girl is going to do what you say without thinking about it. I tried to be that girl but I failed. I hope your next target is going to be more intelligent than me.’‘

With that, you lifted your arm and slapped Chanyeol across the face. It was soft. Very soft, still Chanyeol stood straight again slightly holding his cheek and staring at you bewildered. 

He never had experienced something like that after he had fucked another meaningless girl. You were different. You acted differently. He had broken you. He felt guilty, not as much as he should but still, he felt guilty for the first time. 

Not saying another word you turned around walking back to the bench. While turning you had seen the shocked faces of the other boys. They obviously had followed the talk you and Chanyeol had but you didn’t care. 

Picking up your things which were laying on the bench you started to walk deeper in the park until you saw no student near you anymore. You were crying terribly. Not loud though but you could still hear your whimpers. 

Suddenly you felt a hand softly laying itself down on your shoulder. Turning around you saw Jisoo standing there looking at you, as soon as she saw the state you were in, as broken as you. 

Pulling you in her arms she hugged you. You were hugging her back crying on her shoulder. Her warm fluffy hoodie blocking you crying sounds which were getting louder. 



Three Months after what had happened you still were broken. You were sad all day. At least you tried to hide it now, acting as if you were happy in front of your friends but you sometimes still cried yourself to sleep. You had never experienced something like this before. 

It was the end of the year and the past months were hard. Chanyeol and the boys still were at the same University as you. You watched them always. You couldn’t help yourself but even if you hated Chanyeol you still liked him very much. 

The only good thing was that not every one of the boys was standing behind Chanyeols back. Kyungsoo, Minseok, and Junmyeon often talked to you, asking how you were, sometimes also asking if you wanted to drink a coffee with them. 

They were your friends still you always declined since you knew they still were closer to Chanyeol than to you and always would choose him over you. 

Jisoo instead always remained on your side. You couldn’t think of what you would do without here. 

You hoped together with her you would survive the last years of your studies and you hoped one day you could forget…


So that’s it guys. That’s the end of blackout. I decided for a sad ending because I thought it would be more realistic in the situation Chanyeol and Y/N are in. I really hope you enjoyed blackout and like the ending even though for me it seems rushed and well it’s a sad ending. Btw I think I sometimes really fucked up the grammar, so please excuse me.                                                         Thank you to everyone who enjoyed reading blackout and gave me strength throughout my writing process! I love you guys so much~

- admin s. ❤️

Special tag: @fuckmeupexo

Just One Video pt 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Gosh darn profanity and I think that’s about it

A/N: I don’t know how the train system works in Queens so let’s pretend it made sense okay guys? Also I am in love with this part like wow. Sorry for the length, might wanna grab some snacks and get comfortable folks

word count: 6k (yikes)

Part 1


I must have seen the video at least 30 times before I decided that it was real. I slowed down the video by carefully dragging my thumb across the screen, trying to find a flaw in the editing -but this seemed authentic; he couldn’t possibly fake all of it. This was all just hard to believe. 

Was he out fighting crime right now? Is that why I heard sirens in the background?

All this time, it was Peter Parker who helped protect Queens. The same Peter Parker who fought the Avengers and defeated the Vulture guy a couple of months ago.

He’s just a kid, how is he capable of doing this? How can he balance school life and fight crime? What about that Stark intern-

I audibly gasped when I realized that the Stark internship he talked about was probably a cover for being freaking Spider-Man!

I heard scratching at my door and knew immediately that Buddy wanted to come into my room. I got off my bed and opened my door. Right when I opened it, Buddy ran to my bed and made himself comfortable, panting loudly. I gently closed the door and joined him on the bed. Looking back at the phone, I mindlessly pet Buddy.

“Okay,” I said finally. “If I’m supposed to believe all this, I should do some investigating. Like Sherlock does,” I said to Buddy. He merely blinked at me, trying to lick my hand. “I can solve this case, right Bud?” I cooed, ruffling up his ears.

“Sweetheart! Dinner’s ready!” my mom called from the dining room.

Buddy perked up at the sound of my mom’s voice and ran to my door.

“Traitor,” I muttered, following Buddy to free him from my room. Once I opened my door, Buddy ran to the living room as if his life depended on it. Rolling my eyes, I trudged behind. I patted my jeans to make sure the phone was still there; I kept Peter’s phone in my pocket so that Michael couldn’t get to it. I sat down at the dinner table, mentally planning out my next move. 

“Your dad told me you got your tickets, isn’t that exciting?” my mom chirped, serving herself some food. 

I served my own plate and said, “Mmhm.”

“Calm down honey, you don’t want to get too happy now,” she said, quirking an eyebrow at me.

I smiled slightly and said, ”I am excited, really, but the concert isn’t for another couple of months, you know? I’m just tired anyway.”

“You wouldn’t be so tired if you slept early, like I always tell you to,” my mom scolded, taking a bite.

“It’s cause you’re always on that phone,” Michael said, in a teasing voice.

I laughed, “Shut up Mike.”

“Got a head ache?” he asked me.

“It’s cause you’re always on that phone,” I finished, chuckling. 

He lightly laughed back and said, “You don’t even have your phone though.”

I narrowed my eyes at him as he ate, realizing that I now had to explain to my parents why I didn’t have my phone.

“You lost your phone?” my mom exclaimed.

“Again?” my dad added from the living room. 

“No, I didn’t lose it. I know exactly where it is,” I said, sipping my water.

“Not here,” Mikey snickered.

I kicked him under the table and mouthed, “Shut it.”

“Where is it?” my mom asked.

I waved my hand absentmindedly and said, “I accidentally took my friend’s phone and vice versa.”

“What friend?” my dad asked, lowering the volume on the TV.

I knew I couldn’t say it was Peter’s, because God forbid I talk to boys, so I said, “Michelle’s.”

My dad nodded, satisfied with that answer, resuming his attention to the basketball game. 

“Oh, so you’ll just switch back at school then?” my mom added.

“Yup,” I said, popping the “p.” “But maybe we’ll meet up over the weekend or something if she wants it back sooner, I don’t know yet.”

I continued eating until I felt the phone vibrate. I got startled and slightly choked on my water. “Speaking of Michelle, that must be her. I gotta take this, dinner was great Mom!” I rambled, grabbing my dishes as I left the table to throw them in the sink -careful not to break any. I vaguely heard my mom telling me to slow down as I sprinted to my room, hastily answering the call.

“Hello?” I breathed, closing my door.

“Y/N?” Peter asked.

I inhaled sharply and let out a breath, trying to even it out. “Yeah,” I said, going to sit down on my bed. 

“Is this a bad time?” he asked, uncertain.

“No, it’s a great time I was just, um, out on a run. With my dog. Buddy. Just came back, so, that’s why I sound out of breath,” I chuckled nervously.

Why did I tell him I went out for a run? I’m not athletic. God, this is so bad.

“Oh,” he said, “that’s nice. It’s a good day for a run, I suppose.” 

“Yeah, I run all the time,” I lied. “You know, from my problems and stuff. I just decided to switch it up today,” I added dumbly. 

I got a laugh from him and I smiled as he said, “That’s a good one.”

“Thanks,” I replied, “sooo…what’s up?” I got up from my bed and walked around my room.

“Oh, um, I was just calling back to apologize for earlier. I got caught up with the Stark internship,” he explained.

Right. The “Stark internship.” Time to investigate.

How is that, by the way?” I asked, “the internship, I mean.”

“Th- the internship? Oh, it’s, uh, great! Keeps me real busy,” he stumbled.

“I could only imagine, I mean, it’s run by Tony Stark -Iron Man himself, right?” I prodded.

“Ye-yeah, Mr. Stark is great. I don’t see him directly, too often, but, he’s definitely great from the few times that I met him,” he said, sounding nervous.

“What does he have you do?” I asked innocently.

“He has us do lot’s of paper work, you know, the boring stuff,” he said. “It’s not that interesting if I’m being honest, you wouldn’t wanna hear about it.”

“Try me,” I said smirking. 

“Um, well, some of the paper work is classified so I can’t exactly talk about it,” he explained.

Damn it, he got me there.

“Ah, well, that’s okay,” I said, quickly thinking of something else to ask. “Have you met any of the other Avengers while you were there? Like, that new one, the Spider-Man guy?” I asked, anxiously waiting to hear his answer.

“Spider-Man? Um, yeah, we’ve met. A few times,” he said, sounding unsure of himself.

“I bet he’s so cool in real life, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s pretty awesome. I mean he single-handily took down a villain who used high-tech alien weapons, so, I’d say he’s cool,” Peter said, sounding cocky.

“I heard he has a weird voice though, is that true?” I lied.

“Wh- what? No! He doesn’t have a weird voice, where’d you hear that?” he exclaimed, his voice rising.

I bit my lip to hide my smile, “Oh, you know, here and there.” I picked at my nails and then said, “People talk.”

“You don’t seriously believe he has a weird voice, do you?” he asked.

“Mm, I don’t know. Maybe. I also heard he was rude to some people who wanted a picture of him,” I said, making up things as I went.

“What!” he exclaimed, his voice rising a pitch higher. He cleared his throat then said, “That never happened.”

“Yeah,” I exclaimed, “shot a web at the camera, and everything!”

Peter scoffed, “I don’t think Spider-Man would do that.”

“Who knows,” I added, “it’s not like we actually know him right? He could be a total asshole in real life for all I know.” 

“He could be,” Peter reluctantly said. “But I, I think he’s an okay guy. Maybe you’ll get to meet him and see for yourself?”

“That’d be sick, but, I highly doubt it,” I sighed, playing along.

“Who knows, right?” Peter mused. “I think you could find him around Queens or something doing superhero stuff.”

Or at the library studying for a Spanish quiz, I mentally added.

I chuckled slightly, “People don’t just run into superheroes, Peter.”

“Keep an open mind, Y/N,” Peter chuckled. “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?”

Peter caught me off guard with his sudden change in topic, “Um, nothing much? I was going to return a book to the library and then just chill or something.”

“The one on 21st?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, not really sure why he was suddenly interested in this. 

Maybe he’s purposely changing the subject away from Spider-Man.

“Cool, how about, we meet there? Tomorrow? At noon? We can exchange phones then,” he offered.

“Oh, right, yeah,” I said, forgetting we had to actually plan a meet up. “Works for me,” I confirmed.

“And, uh, I didn’t look through your stuff, if you’re wondering,” he chuckled.

“Me either, if you were wondering, as well,” I said, swallowing my guilt.

I am a terrible human.

“But you did get a text from MJ,” Peter said, “not that I purposely read it -I mean -I couldn’t help it, it just popped up, you know?”

“That’s okay Peter, I don’t mind.” I said, feeling even worse.

I can’t keep lying to him

“Um, something did happen though,” I said, wincing.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“With your phone,” I hesitantly said. 

“Something happened to my phone?” Peter asked.

Should I just come clean? I still have time to back out.

“My brother…” I started, “dropped it. I asked him to hand it to me, but I didn’t have…good reflexes. And I’m really sorry.”

Not a total lie? I do have bad reflexes…

“Oh,” Peter sighed, “that’s okay, I don’t mind a scratch or two.”

Oh my god -I am a terrible person. How can I just lie to Peter like this?

“Yeah, I just felt really terrible about it, I thought you should know,” I said, closing my eyes at how dumb I was. 

“Y/N, it’s totally fine! Don’t worry about it, really, I’m okay with it,” he said reassuringly.

I hate you Peter Parker, you good human being you. Oh, who am I kidding, I hate myself.

I sighed, “Actually, it’s not fine. I need to tell you something else.”

“What is it?” he asked.

Right as I was about to confess my sin, the phone started to vibrate. I took it away from my ear and saw that I, or Peter, was getting a call from an unknown number.

“Um, hold on, you’re getting a call from an unknown number, I’ll just answer it real quick and see who it is,” I said, thinking nothing of it. Vaguely hearing Peter protest, it was too late as I hit the green button. Not getting a chance to even say “hello,” there was a man’s voice already talking.

“Yo, spiderling, I made some minor upgrades to the prototype suit I’ve been working on. You don’t need to thank me right away, but I do believe some praise is due,” he said. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Oh my god, it’s Tony Stark.

“Kid?” he asked after hearing my lack of reply.

“Um, Peter’s not here right now,” I said, weakly.

The line went quiet for a few seconds until I heard, “I’m sorry, and, who’s this?”

“Peter’s,” I paused, thinking, “friend.”

Can I even call myself that?

“Well. You can disregard this whole phone call. But. Where exactly is Peter?” Tony asked.

“Um, home? We switched phones by mistake,” I explained. 

“Great, and seriously, ignore this phone call. It never happened,” he said, before cutting off the call.

I kept the phone pressed against my ear, stunned at what just happened.

Peter really is Spider-Man. This just confirmed everything.

“Hello? Y/N? Are you there? Did you answer the call?” Peter asked, sounding worried.

I cleared my throat before responding, “Um, yeah, I’m here.”

Peter stayed quiet and then tried to casually ask, “So, um, who was it?”

“It was…” I hesitantly said, “Tony Stark.”

“Oh, Mr. Stark called me?” he nervously laughed, “that’s weird. Why would Mr. Stark call me at this hour? What did he, uh, what did he say?”

“Actually Peter, I have to go right now, but, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow, okay?” I sighed. I just really needed to sleep; too much had happened today for me to process.

“Really? Do you have to go right now? We can stay up and talk some more? I mean, it’s Friday, I’m not too busy,” Peter said, trying to stay on the line.

“I’m really sorry Peter,” I whispered, feeling overwhelmed with guilt. “I’ll explain everything tomorrow, I promise.”

“Um, yeah, okay. No big deal,” he said, trying to sound cool about it. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah,” I said, “tomorrow.”

I heard Peter say goodbye and then I hung up.

I couldn’t stand to hear his voice anymore. Under different circumstances, I would love nothing more than to hear Peter talk all day, but right now, I was lying to this sweet, dorky guy who didn’t deserve this. I clutched the phone to my chest and closed my eyes.

“What have I done,” I whispered.


I woke up the next morning, dreading what was to come. I had to face Peter and I was not mentally prepared to do that.

Looking in the mirror as I applied my mascara, I hated my reflection. I mean I looked good, but, I hated my inner self right now. I hate that I invaded Peter’s privacy and found out something that I shouldn’t have. Now I have to go and explain what an awful person I am to my crush -who will literally hate me when he finds out what I did.

Once I was ready to leave, I grabbed my book-bag and told my dad I was heading out. 

“Call me when you get there, okay?” he reminded me.

“Yeah, I will!” I called out as I closed the front door. I made my way down the stairs of our porch and walked to the train station. I texted Peter a quick message saying I was on the way there, not looking forward to this at all.

On the train, I mindlessly looked around, waiting to get to my stop. It wasn’t until I heard a distant scream that I snapped out of my thoughts.

What the hell was that?

The rest of the passengers looked confused too, and we all looked to the right where the scream had come from. I heard two loud bangs on the car over, followed by a chorus of screams. Everyone dropped to the floor and I saw two armed men point guns at the passengers. They were yelling something, but it was muffled due to the distance. Everyone in this passenger car dropped to the floor as well, and with shaky hands, I did too.

Oh my god, please tell me this isn’t really happening. What do I do?

My hands immediately went to my phone, ready to call 911, or even say goodbye to my family when I realized that there was an alternative option. 

Peter

I hastily pulled out Peter’s phone, trying to unlock it with my trembling fingers. I managed to dial my number, and held the phone up to my ear. I anxiously waited and kept looking up to make sure the gun men didn’t see me or walk in here yet. This was the car at the end of the train, so hopefully they won’t get here so soon.

“Hey Y/N!” Peter happily chirped, “I saw your text, don’t worry, I’m on my way-”

I cut off Peter, whispering, “Peter, help me, please.”

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding worried.

“I- I’m on the train that’s heading to 21st street. It’s, it’s Train B. We’re -there’s, there’s some guys -” I was cut off by a huge screech. Someone hit the emergency stop on the train and we all got tossed to the left. The phone skidded out of my hands and I whispered, “Shit, shit, shit,” I crawled towards it, realizing I had to move fast.

“What was that? What’s going on?” Peter said, sounding out of breath. I think he was running. “Y/N? Are you there, are you alright? Talk to me, Y/N, please.”

“They stopped the train,” I whispered, looking around. “And they have guns.”

“I’m on my way, don’t hang up okay, just, keep talking to me. Tell me everything you see, everything you can, I’ll get some help, I promise,” he said, in an assertive voice. 

“I’m so sorry Peter,” I rambled nervously, “I am so so sorry. I, I saw the video.”

If I’m going to die, I want to tell Peter the truth.

“Why do you keep saying sorry? What video?” Peter breathed as I heard rustling in the background.

“The video on your phone about going to Berlin. I know Peter, I just, I know,” I sighed. I heard another bang and flinched. With a trembling voice, I whispered softly, “I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes and tried to maintain calm.

I’m going to die here

“None of that matters anymore -I don’t care about that right now, okay Y/N? It doesn’t matter, I forgive you. Just, keep talking. Stay on the line. Tell me what you see, it’ll be okay, I’m on my way to you,” he replied.

I took a deep breath, composing myself. “Okay,” I sighed, leaning up to see the train car next door. “They’re lining people up against one side of the train. There’s two of them in there, there could be more, I don’t, I don’t know,” I numbly said.

“You’re doing great, just keep talking. I’m almost there,” he said.

I saw one of the men look towards our car and head to the door that separated us. “Fuck, fuck, no no no,” I said, starting to panic even more.

“What? What is it?” Peter exclaimed.

“He’s coming, I don’t know if i can keep talking Peter,” I whispered, “I’m not going to hang up but please hurry.” 

I couldn’t hear Peter’s reply as I shoved the phone in my jean jacket’s pocket. The man barged in and yelled, “Everyone move to this side and stay down!”

He motioned us to move against the opposite side, and people did so, whimpering in fear. I took deep breaths and did as we were told. I looked around at the other passengers and saw that there was children with their mothers, hiding their cries. There were also kids my age, and even some elderly people. 

I don’t want any of them to die

For the most part, it seemed like we all mutually agreed to do what the man said -there were no protests from any of the passengers. There was, however, an older woman who was crying and mumbling prayers in Spanish on her knees.

“You!” the man harshly yelled, aiming the gun at the woman. “Shut the fuck up and get down.”

She merely closed her eyes tighter, and kept praying, tears slipping down her face.

Lady please just do what he says, I mentally pleaded.

She remained unmoved, and I whispered to myself, “C’mon lady.”

The fact that she didn’t submit irritated the man, so he yelled at her, “Did you fucking hear me?” He stalked closer to her.

I sighed to myself and quietly muttered, “Don’t do it Y/N, don’t do it. Don’t do anything stupid, just mind your own business.”

The gun man, seemingly impatient, only got angrier at her lack of compliance. He aimed the gun at her head, ready to pull the trigger, and yelled, “You have three seconds before I-”

“No, wait!” I cried out, before I could stop myself. 

Too late

I sat up on my knees and raised my hands in surrender when he aimed the gun at me instead. Swallowing my fear, I pleaded, starting to stand, “Don’t shoot her, please, she’s just -she’s just praying.”

I stared at the barrel of the gun, physically frozen in fear. I couldn’t move, but I had a million thoughts running through my mind. 

“I don’t give a shit what she’s doing kid. Tell her to stop, or I’ll put a bullet through both of your heads,” he angrily muttered, not once taking his aim off of me. 

I swallowed thickly and with a trembling voice, I quietly replied, “I’m, I’m not that good at Spanish, sir.”

“What did you say?” he spat at me, stepping closer.

I held back a whimper and repeated myself, “I-I can’t tell her to stop, I, I don’t know much Spanish.”

Glaring at me, he pressed the barrel of the gun against my forehead, “Listen here you little bi-”

I closed my eyes tightly, and held my breath. 

This is it. This is how I die. I just had to open my stupid mouth-

My thoughts were cut off when I heard a huge crash, and glass breaking from behind me. I visibly flinched, and reacted by dropping to the floor, covering my head in the process. I stayed crouched down, quickly moving out of the way and could hear gun shots. They weren’t aimed at me, however, they were being aimed at something behind me.

“Hey buddy! You made me miss my train!” I heard a voice shout.

Sneaking a glance, I saw that the man was now fighting Spider-Man, trying to shoot him. At each gun shot, I flinched, but was relieved when Spider-Man managed to kick it out of his hands. Spider-Man somehow dodged every hit, saying witty comments that I couldn’t focus on, and knocked the gun man out cold. He didn’t have much time to relax because two more guys ran in here to fight him as well. Now ignoring the passengers, the men were focused solely on Spider-Man. The people on the train screamed, and scrambled to get to the other car seeing that the gun men were all in this one instead. I tried to follow them, but with everyone pushing to get to the front, I was left at the very back -along with the old woman. She didn’t have the strength to shove people out of the way, so I led her in front of me, gently encouraging her. I turned back to see Spider-Man shoot a web at one of the guys, and roughly pulled it towards him. The guy’s body made contact with the steel pole in the middle of the train, and with a final grunt, he was down. 

Ouch

I turned my attention back to the old woman, and saw that we both made it through the doors. Seeing as I was the last person in, I hastily went to close the doors. People kept moving up the train, determined to put as much distance between themselves and the fight. I followed the crowd, looking back whenever I could to make sure that Spider-Man was alright. I saw him webbing up the gun men, and stopped walking before I made it to the other car. I turned to see the passengers, and they kept going forward, but I slowly broke from the crowd and headed back to where Spider-Man was. With my ears ringing, and my heart rate racing, I tried to stay focused on the red and blue figure who was tying up the gun men to the pole. I opened the doors, and he turned to look at the source of the noise. 

“Peter?” I whispered.

He stopped what he was doing and breathed, “Y/N.” He ran up to me and hugged me tightly.

My eyes watered, and I closed them, letting out a shaky laugh, “Oh my god. Peter.” I wrapped my arms around him and tried to calm down.

“Are you okay? You’re shaking,” he said, pulling back. “That was a dumb question, of course you’re not okay, but you’re fine, right? They didn’t hurt you?” 

“I’m, I’m okay. I think. Physically okay, at least,” I rambled nervously. “Can you just take me home, please?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said guiding me out of the train. We left through the end of the train where Peter crashed in, and he helped me step over the glass, holding my hand to help keep me up. “Can you walk? I don’t think you should walk, here, hold on,” he said, picking me up bridal style instead. 

I gasped in surprise, not used to the feeling of being carried in such an intimate way. Again, in any other circumstance, I would enjoy this -but I was still in shock. I heard police sirens in the distance and realized that it was all going to be okay. I was safe. Those children were safe. That old lady was safe. Peter was safe.

Peter continued to carry me until we made it out of the station, and I hid my face in his chest; I focused on his heart beat and tried to calm my own breathing to match his. The whole way, Peter whispered reassuringly to me, and it helped me feel better. He told me to hang on tight, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tighter. Gasping slightly, I could feel that we were no longer on the ground. I could feel the wind whip around me; it almost felt like I was on a roller coaster with a lot of sudden drops. I closed my eyes, waiting for us to land on solid ground. 

When we did, Peter said softly, “You can open your eyes now.”

I slowly did so and looked around to see where we were. I was definitely not at my house, but it was a nice view. “Where are we?” I asked. It looked like were on some rooftop that overlooked Queens.

“I know you wanted me to take you home, but, I thought we should talk a little before I take you back,” he said, adjusting his grip.

“You can put me down now,” I whispered, looking at the eyes of his mask.

He cleared his throat, “Are you sure? You okay to stand?” 

“I think so,” I replied.

He let me down gently, and I swayed a bit to the side, my legs almost giving way.

“Whoah, okay there Bambi, let’s just have you take a seat over here okay?” he slightly chuckled, guiding me to a spot on the floor.

“That was my first time flying first class, so I’m a bit shaky,” I tried joking.

He let out a breathy laugh, but then got quiet. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m not holding anything up,” I said, taking his question literally so that I could avoid giving a serious answer. I looked up to him and saw that he wasn’t amused, so I sighed. “I thought being pointed at with a gun was scary enough, but then,” I paused, “then he just pressed it against me and I, I couldn’t move -I couldn’t breathe. He was going to shoot me. I know he was. I was about to die if you didn-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Peter whispered, “you weren’t going to die, I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

“But, I was!” I exclaimed, my voice rising, “I was going to die, Peter! If you didn’t answer the phone I…” I looked away, no longer able to stare at his emotionless mask. As if he noticed this, he slipped it off. 

“Y/N,” he said gently.

I kept looking ahead, clenching my jaw to keep my lips from trembling.

“Y/N, look at me,” he said. When I turned to look at him his eyes were hard but determined. He continued, “I wasn’t going to let you die; I wasn’t going to let him hurt you. I’ll never let that happen if I can help it. I know it was scary, but you’re safe now; you’re alive. What matters is that I answered and that I made it on time.”

I nodded my head, and let out a shaky laugh that turned into a cry, finally losing my demeanor. Peter immediately reacted by side-hugging me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. I sniffled and let a few tears fall, and Peter just held me, whispering sweet-nothings. He tucked my head under his chin and ran his fingers down my hair in a comforting manner.

After a few minutes, when I composed myself, I pulled away. “Thank you, Peter. I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“Yes you will,” he said, looking at me. I looked up at him and waited for him to continue. “Just stay alive, and out of harms way, okay?” he chuckled.

I smiled softly and said, “Okay.”

“And if not, I’ll come and save you anyway,” he said nonchalantly.

I slightly chuckled, but got quiet when I started to think. 

Breaking the silence, Peter said, “You know, I heard you stand up for that lady on the train.”

“You heard that?” I asked.

“I didn’t hang up right away,” he shrugged. “By the way, I still have your phone. It’s in my backpack on the side of a dumpster though.”

I furrowed my brows in confusion. Noticing my expression he quickly added “Don’t worry, it’s not trash day today. Not making that mistake again,” mumbling the last part to himself.

I patted my pocket, and felt the outline of Peter’s phone. I pulled it out and handed it to him. “I’m sorry I saw your video, Peter. I didn’t mean to invade. I thought just one video wouldn’t hurt anyone.” I looked away ashamed.

Peter looked at his phone, and smiled, “I’m glad you saw it. If you didn’t find out, then I wouldn’t have gotten to those people on time -including you. Just, promise me you won’t tell anyone. No one else can find out and I don’t think you’re the type of person to go around-”

I cut him off, “I swear.” I smiled at him, glad he didn’t hate me. He gave me a soft smile, but then looked embarrassed at what he was going to say next.

“And if we’re going to be honest, I, uh, I looked at some of your photos,” he sheepishly admitted.

“What!” I squeaked, horrified. 

Peter’s eyes widened at my outburst, “Y- you did it too!”

“No, no I didn’t! I just saw one video, I didn’t see anything else!” I defended myself.

“It was, it was just a selfie or two that I saw anyway. They were cute,” he mumbled, blushing. “And some pictures of your dog. Those were cute too.”

My ears got hot, and I could only imagine how red my face was. “Um, yeah, okay. Whatever,” I tried laughing it off. I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked away, hiding my smile. 

He thinks I’m cute?

“You don’t have a weird voice by the way; I was just messing with you last night. I like your voice; it’s actually really nice,” I admitted, still not meeting his eyes.

Peter stuttered a bit and said, “Th-thanks.” Then he cleared his throat. “You have a really cute,” he paused, “smi…dog”

I looked at him and laughed, “What?”

“I,” he said, fumbling a bit, “Buddy. He’s really cute.” 

“Thanks?” I replied, uncertain, giggling anyway. “Your film was really cute. I’d give it a solid three stars,” I teased, bumping his shoulder.

Three stars?” he exclaimed, laughing back. 

“The whole, ‘stealing Captain America’s shield’ was just unbelievable to me,” I joked.

Peter scoffed then chuckled, “Well, it totally happened. And it was bad-ass.”

I grinned and looked at Peter. He looked down at me and we sort of stared into each other’s eyes until he glanced down at my lips.

If I’m not wrong, I know what comes next.

His phone rang.

We both snapped out of it, and I looked away awkwardly. 

“Uh, I should, I should probably take this,” he said, motioning to the phone. I merely nodded, and he stood up to go answer it and talk to whoever was on the other line.

I took a deep breath and bit my lip to keep from smiling so big.

Was he really about to kiss me? Does Peter Parker like me back?

“Aunt May was just checking in on me since she saw the train incident on the news,” he explained, walking back to me.

My eyes widened when I realized I didn’t call my dad. “Um, can I make a quick call? My dad’s gunna kill me,” I said, standing up.

Peter nodded, handing me the phone, and I quickly called my dad. I told him I missed the train and decided to come home when I heard what happened so he wouldn’t worry about me. Otherwise, he’d never let me leave the house. I’d probably be home-schooled. When I hung up, Peter had put his mask back on.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I smiled.


“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” I said, once Peter landed on the ground again -just a few houses down from mine.

I had my arms wrapped around his neck, basically hugging him instead of having him carry me this time. He slowly set me down, but neither of us completely let go of each other. It just looked like I was hugging Spider-Man in the middle of the street -just another typical Saturday afternoon. This was a quiet neighborhood though, so no one was around to see this.

“It sure beats traffic though,” he said.

I smiled and said, “Oh yeah, definitely.” I dropped my hands from his neck and let them sit on his chest instead.= while his rested on the small of my back. “You gotta tell me how this happened though.”

“I can explain everything to you later. I think I’m getting better at telling the story,” he chuckled.

“Who else knows?” I asked. “I figured I was the only one who uncovered your deep, dark secret.”

“Ned found out by accident first. Then my aunt May -that was also an accident.” he explained.

“I think there’s a pattern going on here,” I teased.

“Yeah, I gotta get better at hiding this,” he admitted. He finally made the first move to pull away, much to my dismay. He pulled out his phone from his belt and handed it to me. “Here.”

I just looked at it and then back to him, “What?”

“Hold onto it until I can give you your phone back,” he said, putting it in my hand, “that way I have a reason to come back to you.” 

I tried to hide my smile, but horribly failed. “I can give you another reason,” I said confidently. 

I reached up to pull his mask up slightly, but stopped half way. His hands met mine, and he asked, “Uh, what are you doi-”

But I cut him off by leaning up and gently pressing my lips against his. Peter was shocked at first, but then he responded. It was short, but it still felt amazing. After I pulled away, I could see that Peter was left a stumbling mess.

“Um, I, uh, that’s a really good reason to come back, like, really good,” he mumbled.

I blushed the whole time, but smiled anyway, “Yeah, I, uh, think it was really good too.” I started walking backwards, “I have to, um, go, over there.” I pointed to my house, clearing my throat.

Peter pulled down his mask and said, “And I have to go to, the um, dumpster. I need to get my stuff back.”  

We both chuckled nervously and I called out, “Bye Spider-Man!”

He yelled back, “Goodbye citizen!” before swinging away.

After saying our goodbyes, we went our separate ways. Once I got to my front door, I bit my lip and smiled just reliving the moment. I walked to my room, greeting my dad in the process, and fell onto my bed. My hands went up to my lips and I sighed in content.

I just kissed Peter Parker.


A/N: part 3? 

tags: @whormotional @multifandom-slytherin @harrysbbby @karenhbhg @thegirlwiththeimpala @i-survived-my-trip-to-nyc @dont-rain-on-my-fandom @totallyrandomfandomfangirl @beforethebraces @apollos-love @hufflepeople @queen-zpidey

nolifekat  asked:

How do you properly channel your energy? That's a personal problem I have and I think a problem others have as well.

I’m answering this under the assumption that by “channelling” you mean “draw up energy to work with, to be put into objects or sent out into the world itself.” If that is not what you were looking for, please feel free to send another ask and clarify what you need help with.

There’s a lot I wanted to say in this post, and I don’t know that I said it all, but please bear with me, it’s long. If you don’t wanna read it all, and just want some techniques, there are a couple at the bottom, but I couldn’t find too many, so if still needed I can try to share what I do too. But this is important enough to me, at least, that I felt I should say it.

I can’t say there is a “proper” way. Like, there are common techniques that work for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean they work for all. And this doesn’t just apply to channelling, or any one particular branch or method of magic - this is all encompassing for witchcraft in general. I can only say what I know from my own experience, but that doesn’t guarantee it to be something that everyone else clicks with or can always do.

A lot of these things really take practice, and the skill doesn’t always come immediately. I feel I got lucky, it only took a few weeks before I started feeling energy, for example, but I have heard some people say it took them longer, if they ever did. I feel that is important to keep in mind as well - the progress isn’t always instant, or immediately recognizable as progress, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening, and that what you’re doing isn’t necessarily failing or incorrect, it does take some time.

(On a crazy off to the side note, it’s also hard for me to tell you any way to do this right now, because I don’t know what you’ve already tried, and I may say “do this” when you already know it doesn’t work for you, but I didn’t know it didn’t work for you. Which is why I’m giving a very generalized answer.)

But, for example. Channelling my energy has a lot to do with sensing it, actually feeling the energy flow to know I am doing it. A lot of people can’t physically feel metaphysical energy when they use or work with it. And that is cool - you don’t need to actually feel it to work with it. But then my method won’t be of any use to them, because my method heavily revolves around that aspect. 

(It isn’t the right way, or the only way, and I acknowledge that - it’s just my way, and I know it won’t work for everyone, but as long as it works for me, that’s what I need for my craft, because it isn’t about anyone else. It’s by me, about me, for me. And it’s great if other people can use my stuff and it works for them, that’s why I share it, just in case it can; but I also know it won’t click with everyone, which is okay, it just means they need to find something else, which I can try to help with too.)

Or, another example, visualization - a lot of channelling methods say that is very important to do. Not everyone can do that either, though. Just because they can’t visualize, doesn’t mean they can’t channel energy. But that particular way to do it won’t cut it for them.

I have a lot I want to say on this, but my brain is scrambled. I’m sorry. I hope I do this justice, say it right, don’t come off as blunt or rude, because it isn’t my intention. I just wanna make something clear as I can.

In the end, there is no “proper” - at least, no universal “proper” - that applies to everyone and everything in witchcraft. If it works for you, it’s proper for you; what is proper for you in magic, may not be for other people, and that is okay. What works for you may also work for a lot of other people, but it is okay if you are one of the few it doesn’t work for  - it doewsn’t mean you can’;t do magic or witchcraft at all, it just means you need to do something different for the same results.

Like, think about how many people draw. And how many different styles you see of drawing. And how, looking at every person’s drawing technique, there may be similar aspects in  some, but everyone still does it kinda differently, but they’re all still drawing in the end - in the end it’s all still art, no matter how they got there. There’s even so many names for it, that may also depend on what you’re drawing or how you do it - sketching, doodling, drawing, penning; caricatures, cartoons, realism, abstract. So many different ways to get there, so many different titles and styles and whatever, but it’s all still art in the end. That is how I see witchcraft and magic.

And, like art, I believe it comes down to personal experimentation with various techniques to find what works for you. Each artist experiments with tutorials and stuff, or just wings it, to see what works for them, to get a style they like - same thing with witchcraft. 

Here are some tips that I have when trying to find out your way of doing things, that may be useful for other things too, but right now I’m just focused on witchcraft. Just tips, no strict rules or “have to”s, just things I think may help you. If you like it, try it; if you don’t give a fuck, don’t. Just thoughts, opinions, ideas.

◆ Find out where your problem is in that area. This is why recording what you do and how things play out with your spellwork can be so important - you can look back to try to pinpoint exactly what it is that didn’t work out, so you can either fix it or move past it. So: what aspects of channelling techniques have not worked for you in the past? Visualization? Feeling the energy?

◇ Sometimes, focusing on those areas, and trying to improve them, can be enough. Like, people say “I can’t do this in magic,” and okay, that is fine. But how many times did you try it before you determined it wasn’t working for you? If a thing fails just once, I can’t say that is a guarantee that that particular technique doesn’t work for you, period - spell failure happens for a lot of different reasons, and doesn’t always have to do with lack of ability. I believe it is best to be sure that those things really don’t work for you at all before writing them off. So, if you find you’re having a hard time feeling energy, keep trying for a while, look up other ways you can do that, keep practicing those techniques, until you can really rule out it just isn’t working at all.

◆ Sometimes there may be more than one area that is causing a problem, or the first area you chose may not be what is actually causing the difficulty. I believe every possibility should be ruled out to figure out what isn’t working and why, as well, before determining something isn’t going to work for you at all. Again, this is when those spell notes come in handy: you have documentation of everything you did, so you can go through piece by piece to figure out what it was - or what it was in conjunction with something else - that didn’t play out as planned.

◇ If things still keep not working, do some more research and see if there is some other way you can do it. Look for alternative methods for the same technique, give those a shot - try to keep in mind remembering what you did so you can figure out what doesn’t work about it for you if that’s what ends up happening. So, if this one particular method focused around feeling energy doesn’t work, and you’re sure it’s the feeling energy part, try a method that focuses on visualization instead, and see if it shows any results.

(Rinse and repeat.)

◆ If you can’t find another way that works for you that already exists, even after all that, if you’ve tried all the methods that you can find already talked about, or from external sources… try to find one within yourself. By this, I mean try creating a unique way, different from what you’ve seen before - or maybe even just tweaked from methods you’ve already tried, keeping things that worked and discarding what didn’t. Honestly, if that is what needs to happen for you to be able to do it, there’s nothing wrong with going off on your own, away from the beaten path, and playing around with what you find there to get something magical to work for you. Just because it’s new, and just made by you right then and there, doesn’t make it “improper” or “invalid” or “less legitimate” than common or well-known methods - if it works for you, that’s really what matters. 

(And I know it can be hard to know where to start when creating something brand new, but knowing a lot of theory may help direct you where to go. If you know how the other things worked and why, you can figure out what else might work and how and why based off those. Idk, I’m kinda burning out, let me wrap this up real quick.)

◇ I have found that “starting over” in a various area or technique can help me see things I didn’t before, open new paths or ways of thinking on the subject that can make practicing it completely different than how I did the first time. Try taking a look at energy work in general, not just channelling techniques, and see if anything comes out at you. Look at “beginner” posts, see if anything has changed in your way of working things from those original points, or see if any new opinions or techniques present themselves. There are a lot of blogs making content on Witchblr, and they all have a unique sort of view, that can prove handy in this sort of thing.

Trial and error, and experimentation, are really the keys here, in my opinion.

I really don’t want to say “you HAVE to do all these” or “this is how you HAVE to do it to figure it it,” but these are my suggestions and tips. And again, Idek if these things will necessarily work for you either, but I feel this will be more beneficial than just telling you how I do things. And I can still do that, if you don’t think this answer is helpful. But this is how I would look at your situation, if I were stuck on figuring out a way to do a certain technique - this is how I’d go about trying to find something that works for me. I feel like telling you how to find your own answer may prove more beneficial than giving you one of mine that still might not suit you in the end anyway.

Anyway, long overdue, here are those links I promised (there are few resources on this, which is maybe why so many people have difficulties with this area?) :

I may still end up posting my way, or other ways I could think of, because it’s hard to find info on this. So probably what I just said was all made moot because of this lol.

Did it all make sense, anyway? I hope it does. I hope it helped in some way, for someone at least. Idk. I ran out of so much steam and energy by the end there, I hope it still makes sense and I got the point I wanted to across. (I guess you wouldn’t know if I got the point I wanted to across, lol, but let me know if this proved helpful to you in any way or anything, please.) And it kinda proved wasted in the end, I feel, but that’s how I feel about figuring out how to do things “proper” or getting things to work for you. Idk. Sorry. I’m done.

Ashes Pt. 2 [M]

Genre: Angst, Smut, Vampire AU, horror

Pairing: None, yet ;-) 

Length: 5.8k

Warnings: Violence, mentions of drug use

Originally posted by lethargicmin

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Final

Suho came rushing towards you. “Y/N, you’re here. It’s really you!”

You took a step back. “Don’t come near me” you warned.

You watched as the hurt spread across his face, “Why didn’t you contact me? Why did you make me think you were dead? The police even brought me in for questioning! They thought that I had killed you, Y/N!”

You didn’t know what to say. The anger was building up inside of you. You wanted to scream at him. To tell him he’s the reason that you’re dead. That you’re doomed to a life of eternal hell because you were waiting for him. Only to find out that he was with someone else. But you couldn’t. You knew that the moment you opened your mouth you wouldn’t be able to control what would happen next.

“I’m sorry” was all you could say. You stared at the ground in front of you. Counting to 10. Hoping the anger would subside.

He wasn’t happy, “I’m sorry? That’s all you’re going to say? You faked your own death and I almost got charged with murder. And all you’re going to say is I’m sorry?”

You looked up at him, “What else can I say, Suho? I don’t have a time machine. I can’t take any of it back. It happened. And I’m sorry”

You didn’t stop him this time as he moved towards you. He pressed his forehead against yours. The touch was hot. Too hot. “I just can’t believe you’re really here” he murmured, “We need to tell your parents. They’re going to kill you for doing this to them”

Except I’m already dead.

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anonymous asked:

you slipped on a patch of ice and i happened to be walking behind you and you fell into my arms wow you’re really attractive au - Holsom please :) :)

Adam Birkholtz has decided that he is a very lucky man.

He is lucky because he is very large. He is lucky because he is very strong. He is lucky because he has quick reflexes. He is lucky because he was all three of those things at the same time when a stranger walking in front of him slipped backwards on the ice, and Holster managed to catch him easily.

But mostly, Holster thinks, he is lucky because that stranger he caught was hot.

“Oh my God, I am, so, so sorry, dude,” the stranger had sputtered as Holster gently placed him back on his feet. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, and I didn’t mean at all to–”

Holster laughed. “Chill, bro, it’s fine. No harm, no foul.” And that’s when he really looks at this guy, and he knows his poor bisexual heart has stopped dead.

He’s fucking beautiful is what he is. Jaw that could probably cut glass, short black hair and flawless dark skin, eyes that make Holster want to do corny shit like write poems about eyes. He’s tall, almost as tall as Holster is, and he’s built. And, Holster realizes as he watches the stranger bite his lip and stutter out an apology, he’s fucking adorable, too.

It’s not even fair.

Holster finally collects himself and stops staring, making himself focus on what Hot Stranger is actually saying. Something about coffee, and ruining his shoes, and that’s when he glances down at realizes that yeah, his beat-up gray sneakers have been soaked and are turning brown. Holster had been so distracted, he hadn’t even felt it. Hot Stranger is still apologizing.

“Seriously, I feel so awful, I should have been more careful, I can pay for a new pair, really, I swear–”

Holster cuts him off. “Dude, you are not paying for a pair of shoes. These were old as hell anyway, this’ll just give me, like, the incentive to actually go shopping for new ones.”

Hot Stranger frowns. “Still, please, there’s gotta be something I can do…”

Holster makes a lightning-quick calculation. He feels his face turning red, but he figures now is his best shot. “Well, um, maybe you can’t pay for a new pair of shoes, but I wouldn’t say no to coffee sometime?”

Hot Stranger’s eyes widen, and for a moment Holster is afraid he’s made a terrible mistake, but Hot Stranger speaks first. “Oh, wow, I mean…yeah, no, that’d be…that’d be really great, actually. Um. I could give you my number?”

Holster grins as he unlocks his phone and passes it over. “Yeah, sounds good, man.”

Hot Stranger’s fingers fly over the keyboard, entering his number, and after a few seconds he hands the phone back over. “I kinda have to get to class now. I’m in med school, actually, and they really, really don’t like it if you’re late. But, uh, it was really good meeting you! Catch you later. Well, I guess you actually, uh. Caught me already. I mean, literally. Um. See you later.”

Holster keeps grinning, even though he knows it probably looks dumb at this point. “You, too.”

Hot Stranger smiles nervously and turns around to finally go to class, and Holster knows that today is going to be a good day.

(Several feet down the sidewalk, Justin Oluransi has decided that he is a very lucky man.)

Imagine finding out about Tony’s parents

Part 1- Imagine seeing Bucky pull Steve from the water   

Part 2 - Imagine waiting for Steve to wake up

Part 3- Imagine being there when Steve finally talks to Bucky

Part 4- Imagine being in the car with Bucky and Sam

Part 5 - Imagine helping Steve & Bucky escape the airport

Part 6 Imagine telling Tony where Steve was

Part 7 - Imagine Steve busting you out

Part 8 Imagine finding out about Tony’s parents

Part 9 - Imagine being in Wakanda with Steve and Bucky

Originally posted by uchihaclan27

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News

Dean Ambrose/OC: Your baby isn’t so much a baby anymore, and she has some news to tell you. FLUFFFF. Sequel to Late Night Chat and Meet the Roster.

I wrote this for my lovely anon who’s been so helpful and lovely and nice and I love them a lot and they love my cute lil domestic Dean series so….Here we go. It’s a lil bit different than the other two lmao anyways, here it is.

Y’ALL I DEADASS FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE LMAO AIGHT SO HERE: @lavitabella87 @screamersdontdance @omgmissmillie @everybodyfinnfreeze @shadow-of-wonder @laochbaineann @justtookawaii @sarrahcha @twiistedbliiss @hotspurmadridista @niazha16 @happelu970 @officialbroski10-blog @crowleysqueenofhell @lilmisscrisis @antigonemaia @imnoaingeal @littledeadrottinghood @imagineall-the-fandoms @fuckyeahbulletclub @hiitsmecharlie @macfizzle @bizclizbaybay @oraclegazes @culturalrebel @welshwitch5 @wrasslesmut @actualamyautopsy @blondekel77 @meaganottiz02 @karaboomhower @valeonmars @squirrel666 @livingthestrongstyle @damnbuvky @dmm-wts @caramara3 @abbie03d @roserae527 @superrezzy00

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Lifeboat - Klance

SET DURING THE CONVERSATION AT THE END OF SEASON FOUR EPISODE ONE - SPOILERS, DUH.

A super angsty look into Lance’s thoughts as Keith leaves. A painfully pining Lance.

AO3 LINK!


Lance knew what was coming.

He knew it the moment Keith walked in the door dressed in that damn fine Blades suit. He knew it the moment Keith opened his mouth. He knew it the moment Allura opened hers and he opened his.

But he did it anyway.

“And not just the team! The refugees as well!” And me, he thought. I was scared because I didn’t know where you were. And Red knew it.

He saw Allura’s words, Pidge’s words, his words hit Keith, and he knew he was leaving.

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