i felt like i needed to contribute something

how do you silence the voice in your head that tells you you’re a talentless hack and everything you write is garbage asking for a friend

Michele/Emil random headcanon

So, I’ve had this headcanon that, at one time through his life Emil would have tried getting closer to Michele using Italian pick-up lines. Obviously, it was not so much of a success. Here it goes:

  • He asked Sara for tips on how to get that oblivious Italian to realize he had been in love with him for ages (because obviously, not everyone is as blind as Mickey)
  • Sara thought it would be fun teaching him a few pick-up lines in Italian.
  • And maybe she should have written them down to him somewhere, because Emil ended up messing them up comletely. (“Hey, Mickey! Mi ero perso nei tuoi oli.” “Do you mean occhi?” “Maybe?”) Because, frankly, he had no idea what he was saying.
  • It took Michele only two of those sentences to get what they were. He only chose to pretend not to. Watching Emil struggling was a lot of fun, even for him. (“Hey, Mickey! Nel cielo manca un congelo!” “Che congelo? Are you cold?” “No?”)
  • He thought that if he did not react whatsoever, Emil would give up rather quickly. Obviously, it was not knowing him and the whole thing rapidly started to get on Michele’s nerves.
  • “Hey, Mickey!” “Hey, Emil!” And Emil immediatly shuts up. That’s not everyday he has Michele answering back. “Polib me.” And he’s just left in shock, because Mickey is speaking in Czech and asking him to kiss him. Which he does not. He is too surprised for that.
  • So Michele did.
  • “I swear if I ever hear one of those pick-up lines again, I’m punching you in the face.” He said as he took the other’s hand. Emil did not answer back, just laugh because, hey, he had just been kiss by the man he had been running after for months. So, was he in the mood for useless argument? Hell no. (But was he in the mood for a second kiss? Hell yeah!)
  • (“Mickey, Mickey! Where did you learn Czech?” “Not where you learnt Italian, apparently.”)

Do I need to give the translations? Probably, so here it goes. First one is “I got lost in your oil” (obviously, he meant eyes) And second one is “There is one I am freezing missing in the sky” (he meant angel) As I’m not Italian, only learning, I’m sorry if any of this is wrong!

we all must admit how hard it is to just sit down and do your work sometimes. the following are a few random tips that i used to study better. here’s a more specific study post but this is just a general set of things i do that really help me out.

set a routine

if you continue to do something, eventually it turns into a habit. try to study at a certain time every day. it’ll turn into a habit and eventually become an instinct to get your books out and sit down at that certain time of day.

create a pleasant study space 

this will definitely help. naturally you would want to go and study if you have a nice atmosphere to go to so open some windows to let in light, invest in a good chair, and keep the space lively with some flowers or plants (i surround myself with greenery. it makes me feel really calm). likewise, keep your space away from distractions such as your laptop (ahem ahem. unless you need it for work and have a website blocker or something), the t.v, and the kitchen (keep a healthy little brain snack on your table so if you feel hungry you don’t need to go to the kitchen to get food then get lost spending too much time making creme brûlée or something when all you really needed was some celery).

remember your future goals

this will keep you from procrastinating by giving you a little jolt of guilt and also keep you sane. i personally wrote down my goals on a post-it and stuck it on the wall. later on, whenever i felt like throwing my textbook out the window (rip louis pasteur and his scientific contributions to biology) i would look up and see the note which would promptly calm me down so i could take a five minute break and get back to work.

give yourself time beforehand

if you give yourself a little bit of time before you start studying, you will feel more refreshed and ready to study. when i come home from school i give myself   a half hour to change, have some fruit, and start getting my materials out. that way i don’t feel rushed from just finishing school to immediately starting all my work. i also stay off of tumblr and the internet during this time because if i got on i would probably spend my half hour there and not have any time to actually relax and unwind a little bit. also if you need more time, take more time, but don’t stretch it out to two hours or something overboard like that, especially if you come home later.

for when you really want to fling your work into a tornado and go on tumblr

nope. sorry. not going to work. i mean, you could probably get on tumblr but you’ll regret it come tomorrow when your teacher asks for your homework or hand out that test and you look at it and realize you don’t know the material. try working in pomodoro time chunks so that you don’t overwork yourself and also get rewarding little breaks in between. sometimes when i’m really unmotivated, i turn the pomodoro method into a little game and try working for just a little bit more and challenge myself to see how many more minutes i can study for. if i end up achieving 25 minutes, i take the 5 minute break. 

you can do this!! ~hana from kageyama-studies

3

It’s that time of year! There’s a lot of really great posts on here that are really saving my ass for AP exams (especially Bio and Lit oh boy), and I felt like I should contribute to show my appreciation. So! Here is a scan of the really helpful worksheet we got in our Calculus BC class with every equation and property that we need to have memorized. I’m sorry if my writing is a bit faint, but you can always just write over my answers as a way of studying or something. Hope this helps someone! Good luck everyone!

My only statement about Lauren Zuke

I’ll be honest, I don’t care about the backlash this might get because this Fandom has already gone to hell because of the toxic people who call themselves “fans”.

Do fans bully and harass others because they don’t share the same opinion? No.
Do fans call people names and threaten others or wish them to be dead? No.
Why am I bringing this up? Because people apparently need a guide on how to be decent.

And another thing: you don’t treat the people who are making this show for you like crap. It’s one thing to give constructive criticism. It’s another to be a total asshat about it.

That being said, the way people treat Crewniverse and Zuke is completely out of line, but I will say this:

Lauren Zukes was not completely in the right.

Before you send me hate and death threats because your ship didn’t happen, please take a moment to read the whole post and know that:
1) Sugar doesn’t OWE you your ship
2) If a ship is the only reason you’re watching a show, you should find something else because it’s toxic fans like that who ruin it for those who are watching for plot and character development.

I understand the good intention behind what Zuke was doing by wanting incorporate a healthy, gay relationship. I agree with it, but it wasn’t executed well. And, that clearly isn’t the direction that everyone wanted to go.

When it comes to animation, or entertainment in general, you are working with a team. Period. If the majority doesn’t want to go that way and you don’t agree, then speak up and see if you can come to a compromise. However, if the person in charge says no and wants to go elsewhere, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I know that sounds like I don’t understand where Zuke is coming from, but I do. The sun will still rise. The children will still laugh. People will still love.

I won’t lie. I liked Zuke’s work. They’ve made some really good episodes in the past, but when it came to some of the more barn centered episodes… I don’t know. I kind of liked them? But I felt like the relationship between Lapis and Peri were… forced. Stop right there. I didn’t say I disliked Lapidot. I do ship it, but honestly? It’s not something that needs to happen right this second. With everything that’s happening between the CGs and HW and there’s still a ton of questions about characters’ pasts, where was a ship (any ship) supposed to fit in? Just awkwardly shove one in a Beach City episode out of no where? (Sadie and Lars are different because it contributes to Lars’ character arc which was important to our recent plot development) I’m sorry, but that’s poor writing.

Lapis doesn’t need a relationship right now. Think about what she’s gone through: go to earth, get poofed, shoved in a mirror, crack, abandoned for millenia, be freed and argue with the CGs, take the ocean, almost drown 2 kids, break a leg, get captured and manhandled, crash land, abusive fusion, finally freed only to be seeked out by J-dawg, now she’s stuck in new and unfamiliar setting where she doesn’t know anyone and can’t go back home. I don’t think she needs a relationship on top of the confusion, homesickness, guilt, and depression. She needs stability. She needs a source of positivity. She needs a friend. Oh, hey, Peri comes in! That’s what she needed. A friend. She rejects it, at first, but by the end of that episode, they at least tolerate each other enough to become roommates.

Then (let’s say about a month or 2 in SU, not confirmed, but oh well), and they’re suddenly besties? Maybe it’s just me, but if I were Lapis: yes, I’d stay close to Peri, but I’d also keep her at a bit of distance considering the paragraph above. That, and it takes quite a bit of time to forge such a close a bond… they did it in a fraction of the time. You can argue “offscreen time together”, but that doesn’t justify it and you shouldn’t rely so heavily on it. This is like how, before the cluster, Amethyst and Peri were super close, shit happened, but by the end, they were still good friends. In the next episode, they’re kind of like regular distance friends. What happened offscreen between then? Relationships that took a wrong have been written well in this show. Excellent examples: Garnet and Pearl, that took about 3 episodes with time passing in their world to get the two to be friends and the process was shown onscreen. So, why was it done so poorly here?

What I’m saying is, the whole Lapidot thing, while it was a good idea was poorly written and too forced. It felt unatural and uncomfortable. There were some good things about it like Lapis slowly getting better and slowly becoming happier because that’s what she needed. Not a relationship. Honestly, because of how underdeveloped and broken (not sure if that’s the word I wanted) Lapis is, I wouldn’t be surprised if Lapidot doesn’t become canon at all. That’s not what she needs in her current state. I’m speaking from experience.

And before you say that there is no gay representation, take a step back and look at our lovely square mom, Garnet. Someone raise their hand and tell me what she is? Case closed. And no, I’m not saying that there only needs to be one healthy gay couple, I’m saying that given the circumstances and where the plot is going (which, if you didn’t know, is not in a romantic route), Ruby and Sapphie are enough.

I’m sorry and sad that Zuke is leaving the Crewniverse. I’m sorry that they felt alienated and attacked, and maybe excluded, or shut down by the group, but teams are supposed to work together and work through things like this. I appreciated most of their work, but this whole things between Lapis and Peri made me enjoy the two a lot less because it wasn’t well written and relied too heavily on offscreen development. I support Lapidot, but not poor development and writting.

But please, no more name calling. No more death threats. No more toxicity. Let’s just enjoy the show for what it is.

[Why I Love] - Chpt. 12

Negan x Addison 

[Summary: Addison and Vincent spend some time together, with Negan watching the two of them closely] 

A/N:  :D I haven’t updated the Masterlist yet, so I’ll keep linking the previous chapters until I do. xoxoxoxo 

Chapter 11 || Masterlist

(gif by @jeffrey-daddy-morgan) 

Things seemed to have calm down at the sanctuary. Although, I could see that the saviors still felt like they were walking on thin ice. Eyes would fall to the ground, whenever Negan entered a room. The silence that followed brought a satisfied smile across his face, as he relished in his authoritative power. 

I’ve come to terms with accepting his behavior, it’s just who he is. But none of that seems to be enough to deter my feelings about him. Usually, I would turn to Michonne, Maggie, or even Daryl when something’s on my mind. But since they’re not here, I looked to my newest confidant for advice. 

I talked Naomi’s ear off, giving her a detailed explanation of my encounters with Negan. She finally faced me, grinning from ear to ear. “Maybe it’s just a physical thing” She devilishly grazed her tongue over her teeth. 

“After everything he did to me, to my people…how could I still tolerate the thought of wanting him?” 

Naomi arched one of her perfect brows, “It’s because you’re human, Addison. Just because you’re attracted to him doesn’t make you a bad person” 

Keep reading

Today, I gave the last bit of my wedding savings to my mom. I’ve never felt like shit till now. How does a mother ask her daughter to give up all her wedding savings for her needs and wants but not tell her son to equally contribute in the house? I went off today. It was a breaking point. Here on after I will not contribute. I will not be used. How are you going to not talk to me for 3 weeks (that too for needing money and forcing it out of me) and then all of a sudden talk because you need something and then cry and throw fits as soon as I decline? I’ve worked hard to get all that I have now. I’ve never asked for anything and if I ever did the answer was always no. Your son is never ever home and always has an excuse ready when it’s time to discuss finances. How can a mother say “kudiyan maa da jaada kardiya hundiya” but up till date if you ever did anything for me, you’d rub it in my face and somehow make me pay you back for it. Recently, I’ve been so fed up with the “mahaul” of this house that I honestly just feel like leaving. Told my mom I’m going to have a serious talk with my brother tomorrow. He will contribute and if he declines, I’ll be making the decision of telling him to leave the house and get his own place. Mom says “my life is with him” well, if your life is with him, next time just feel free to tell him to help you out. There is just so much someone can do and then constantly hear that you don’t do anything or its not enough. Here’s a self reminder to put myself first. No matter what the situation. I need to prepare for my future and not continue helping those who will never be grateful.

Delicate Part 7/9

Originally posted by unlucky--bucky

Warnings: Swearing, yelling, here comes the ANGST

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Y/N - Your name

A/N: Reader is brilliantly smart but has spent her life being exploited by anyone who finds out about it. She is recruited by Fury to come to the Avengers facility, but it may not be for the reason she thinks.

Not going to lie, I listened to the song Delicate by Damien Rice about a million times while writing this. Also the trailer for Gifted not only left me an emotional mess it also seems to have seeped it’s way a little into this story.

Part 1 II Part 2 II Part 3 II Part 4 II Part 5 II Part 6 II Part 7 II Part 8 II Part 9


Keep reading

voltron s3

there are a couple of plotlines i wanna see developed/resolved

  • pidge finding more about her/their family. where is matt, who are the people who rescued him? probs not the blade of mamora, which means we have another resistance group to meet and learn about
  • who gunna take the black lion? i know shiro was pushing for keith to take leadership. eventually. i dont think the rest of the paladins really see keith as a leader any more than keith does atm, so… does this mean allura will take the reigns of the black lion for now? or will coran live his dream of piloting red while keith figures out how to lead?
  • lance is homesick on top of feeling inadequate. instead of flirting so hard, maybe a couple scenes where he unburdens himself? i feel like he’d be able to come clean with shiro or hunk, and since shiro is awol… a serious hunk and lance moment, maybe
  • shada said so many things about lance maturing. shada said stuff about his cuban heiritage being acknowledged. explicitly. other people said sexuality was going to be tossed into s2. pidge’s identity was supposed to be contrasted to katie’s. (is that what the bathroom scene meant???) all that… didn’t happen. bruh. next season tho,,,,?
  • hunk needs more recognition than the constant barrage of food-related lines. he was ready to get dunked in acid to save an arc of aliens, can we focus more on that? or, i dunno. his fierce compassion for shay’s people. give me something aside from ‘the food guy’. i know lance said he doesn’t know what he contributes to the group. but hunk, man. he got that calzones line right before the big finale. :\
  • the galra/altean alliance. the lion lore. we knew zarkon was the black paladin, but it definitely felt like his connection to the his lion was tainted, seeing as how black lion saved shiro AND gifted him the bayard during that whole mind battle sequence. which, by the way, what the fuck was that.
  • hey while we’re on the topic, kinda weird for a guy to sudden disappear into nothingness, amirite?
  • my roommate said that the galra keith stumbled on during the hunk+keith episode might’ve been matt. or keith’s mom. who_is_she.gif
  • where is kaltenecker. is she safe.
About FT pulling an “X” series

Because of Mashima’s comment on the “Special Mission” Omake, a lot of people has started doubting NaLu, and fearing that it’s gonna end up like a certain other pairing from a certain other series.

So I decided to re-read that Omake (as well as all of the other ones), and boy was it one hell of a troll X’D

I mean, Mashima went as far as to show us stuff like this:

Just to end them like this:

And if we were still at that point in the story, I’d truly wondered if NaLu had a shot on becoming a real, romantic, couple, but whatever doubt I had has long disappeared, and whatever fear of something else happening is now long gone, and I think that “The Day of the Fateful Encounter” omake has contributed a lot to my belief.

In that omake, Lucy met someone that felt like an ideal boyfriend for her, like her “fateful encounter”. They were both ‘normal’, they got along fast, they ended up having the same hobby, and their relationship progressed pretty well:

And yet, in the end, Mashima made Lucy sacrifice her first possible romance for the sake of going on a mission with Natsu, and Natsu specifically. (Which she didn’t really need to do, as she could’ve easily chose to spend time with that guy instead, and she wouldn’t have lost contact with Natsu/would have still been his friend)


And IMO that already says a lot. Mashima may have not considered NaLu’s romantic  potential at that point, but he still made Lucy chose Natsu over a potential romantic partner that she got along with very well.

So I’m pretty sure that even if  they don’t end up becoming a couple (which I’m sure they will, but that’s beside the point), they’ll stay together in a way, and not end up with other people, so there’s really no need for anyone to worry about FT pulling an “X” series (I personally don’t have any troubles with any series, but I’ve seen a lot that do so~)  

(And I can probably talk forever about how the fateful encounter was actually that of Natsu and Lucy (and how the fateful encounter card actually has a couple kissing on it and a huge heart, so it’s definitely romantic), but it was eventually described as just a “fateful day” and more of a “the day I joined FT” kind of thing than an encounter, so Imma shut up)

Post it Forward Campaign

I stumbled across the Post It Forward Campaign here on Tumblr which wants to help strengthen the community and spread a positive message. I felt the need to contribute my own thoughts. Also check out #postitforward and maybe even contribute your own thoughts, art or spread the word somehow. 


Anyway, here is my hopefully helpful post:

We all struggle with something. Be it depression, loss of any kind, trying to fit in, feeling like your not good enough or simply feeling unloved by the people around you.

Just know that you are not alone.

Let me tell you why:

Everyone feels like they are going through life alone, and some even prefer to do so, but if things get tough you might want to reach out for support. I know it´s easier said than done, and I get it believe me, but sometimes even the strongest humans need help. And that doesn´t mean you´re weak. On the contrary, it means you´re strong enough to ask for help. No matter how ridiculous your problem sounds, or how many times you complained about it, reach out to the right people. Where do I find them, you ask? Right here on the beautiful Social Network you´re reading this post on. 

We are using Tumblr as our safe haven or to escape reality and get sucked up in a different world (a supernatural world on this blog here) just to forget problems for a little while. But maybe we need to face these problems head on from time to time. And here in this weird space there are people who will help you through it. We are all here for you. No matter what.

That´s why I think Tumblr has the best community. We help each other because everyone needs a little help from time to time. Sure there are still some people who tear other´s down, but unfortunately we will never be rid of them for good. Just know you are never going through anything alone. We have your back. Even if you feel like you´re never going to survive the current state you´re in, know that night is always darkest just before the day. You will get through this, you will smile again and you will be happy. I promise.

Still doubting me? Then at least remember this:

You are good enough, and you are loved. You want proof? I love you. No matter who you are, how you look like, where you come from, who or what you love or what your favorite cereal is (hey that´s a serious point okay? ^^) I love you, and there are a million others who do as well. .

If there is anything you want to talk about, and I mean ANYTHING I am always here for you. I am not one to judge and I will try my best to help you in any way possible. No matter what your problem is. And remember: It´s okay not to be okay. Have Hope.

You are awesome and I love you. Never forget that.

-M

MBTI and Neurodivergence

by yevie

As an INFJ who has an anxiety disorder and depressive episodes (among other things), I felt I had something to contribute to this discussion. As a warning, this is 100% based on personal experience.

Anyway… Part of me always wonders I have inferior Ne because anxiety really does look like it. Depressive episodes take away my motivation and drive, so future plans tend to loose meaning. 

But, when I’m functioning on a more okay level, I resume Ni-mode. (Ex. just a day or so ago, some new friends where blinking at how far into the future I have my life planned out. Normally, a first impression is all I need to sum up a person. My head transforms everything into concepts and archetypes that are hard to put into words… etc.) 

That’s not even touching on other stuff I have going on. 

Either way, it took me AGES to figure my type out. I’m still not sure where the lines between some things are. MBTI is designed with neurotypical people in mind and, unfortunately, a lot of what you read about MBTI focuses on behavior rather than motivation. And when your brain functions in a non-standard way, you’re going to have non-standard outcomes for behavior. 

Most of the times I ‘don’t function like an INFJ’ come out when I’m in a stressful situation. While I do sometimes fall to my inferior functions when stressed (over eating/under eating, being even more prone to sensory overload that I normally am), I more often first get hit by my mental illness.

But, for others, MBTI would be just too hard to apply because the way they think is outside of the population MBTI is aimed at.  Which, is one of the flaws with/oversights of the MBTI system.

I joined in the middle of UtaPri, but up to this point I have been granted the chance to challenge myself with various things. From this series alone, having matured a lot in the large amount of content it has, as well as receiving so much support from everyone, I feel a comfortable amount of pressure. But, of all things, I think that the determination that we as performers have to pour our feelings into the characters and firmly protect their image, to feel that vividly both on stage and off, is an amazing thing. It’s the collection of content known as, “Uta no Prince-sama,” in which I know that the cast loves the series and its characters with all of their hearts, and so from now I want to continue my performance without letting my love for the series burn out. While keeping these feelings and my passion burning, I want us all to unite and continue to keep challenging ourselves!
— 

Maeno Tomoaki’s Special Message from the Uta no Prince-sama 5th Anniversary Book 

This is the last of the Special Messages from the UtaPri main cast. I was not in a great mood before translating this comment due to a predicament that I posted about earlier today (which ate up my entire morning), and I was putting it off because I have a costume that I need to finish in less than two weeks as well as a lot of other household duties.

But I knew that finishing and posting this would make me feel better. I’m surrounded by a lot of supportive and kind people within this fandom, both online and offline. I especially want to thank @tamlynne. We chat pretty much everyday (mostly about UtaPri and Osomatsu-san, haha) and I go to her for a second opinion when I have trouble translating something. Also much thanks to @honeybeehime_ on Twitter for supporting me throughout my worries. I felt like I was being encouraged by my very own Haruka. <3

It sounds like I’m writing my last post XD I’m not though! But I do need a bit of a break from translating, I think (I tell myself that but don’t be surprised if you see me posting more within the next week). Thank you all so much, I really do love UtaPri a lot and I’m so glad to see that people enjoy what little I can contribute to the fandom.

@thisispvris: So… we got a little excited while doing this and accidentally held the flag upside down. But hey, I guess that’s our aesthetic or something. ❤️ Thank you Houston for lending your ears and your hearts today during our set. I don’t usually go up and make speeches on stage but today I felt like it was necessary. This country and its people took a big step today and hopefully many other big steps will follow. There’s still a whole lot of bullshit and negativity in the world today with issues like racism, sexism, brutality, wars on religion/beliefs etc. that still need a whole lot of work. It’s up to you guys out there to help contribute to positive change in the world and I believe it’s something that can be accomplished. No matter what your skin color is, your sexual orientation, your religion, etc… If you believe in love and spreading positivity, that’s all that matters. Be the positive change this world needs ❤️ - Lynn
Photo: @samsanroman

lynngvnn:… we got a little excited while doing this and accidentally held the flag upside down. But hey, I guess that’s our aesthetic or something. Thank you Houston for lending your ears and your hearts today during our set. I don’t usually go up and make speeches on stage but today I felt like it was necessary. This country and its people took a big step today and hopefully many other big steps will follow. There’s still a whole lot of bullshit and negativity in the world today with issues like racism, sexism, brutality, wars on religion/beliefs etc. that still need a whole lot of work. It’s up to you guys out there to help contribute to positive change in the world and I believe it’s something that can be accomplished. No matter what your skin color is, your sexual orientation, your religion, etc… If you believe in love and spreading positivity, that’s all that matters. Be the positive change this world needs Photo: @samsanroman

Spoiler Review of A Court of Mist and Fury (Part 1)

DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion. I’m in no way stating what I say here is canon or accurate. It is my personal interpretation. If you disagree with my opinion or want to share your view on this with me-go for it! But, if you are going to send me hate, do yourself and me a favor and don’t bother.

Part 1: The House of Beasts

Feyre’s Nightmares and Feylin’s Deterioration

Feyre has to remind herself who she is and where she currently is after the events of Amarantha’s dungeons. She has to remind herself what is real and what is a dream. She has to remind herself that she is a survivor.

Immortal strength-more a curse than a gift. (ACOMAF Pg. 6)

Feyre is having trouble adjusting to her new immortal body which parallels her inability to adjust to normal life. Her problem? She doesn’t have anyone to talk to. Tamlin “sleeps” straight through her nightmares and refuses to talk about his own. The two of them are similar in that they choose to ignore their problems and in doing so, they have completely shunted one another out of one of the most important aspects of their lives. I feel that the two of them think that if they confronted their nightmares together then they’d have to truly acknowledge how real and traumatic Amarantha’s reign over Prythian was to them.

“Today-let’s forget it, let’s just move past it. Please.” (ACOMAF Pg. 102)

Sex is their one reprieve in which they can lose themselves in other sensations, almost like how an alcoholic uses alcohol to drown out their sorrows. But like alcohol, sex just grants them temporary euphoria. It doesn’t solve anything. Sex is a mere illusion of love for the pair and it covers up all the underlying problems in their relationship.

He made love to me, morning and night. He worshiped my body with his hands, his tongue, his teeth. But that had never been the hard part. We just got tripped up with the rest. (ACOMAF Pg. 103)

Instead, we have Tamlin becoming overprotective to the point that he completely smothers and crushes Feyre’s true potential. Understandable. He almost lost her under the mountain and he’s channeled that anguish he felt under the mountain into something else. But in his honorable (?) quest to protect Feyre, he has completely forgotten that she is a warrior, that she has survived Amarantha using her guts and wits. Consequently he demotes her into a damsel in distress, trapping her in a world of frills and vapid society. He doesn’t realize that what Feyre needs is a distraction-a real one. Something that has her moving around, helping others. All his protectiveness ends up pushing down the real Feyre and has, whether she realizes it or not, contributed to her current state of mind: that she is not worthy.  She is “ruined,” a doll smashed to smithereens. On some unconscious level she realizes it at the wedding and it’s why she realizes she can’t marry Tamlin.

To be honest, I never shipped Feylin in ACOTAR (I didn’t ship Feyrhys either if you’re wondering). For me, I felt like a lot of it was lust driven and that the two never really sat down and had a real conversation. That’s why Tamlin fails to understand, like I mentioned before, that Feyre is a fucking survivor.

You still have no idea what it was like for me-to be on the verge of starvation for months at a time. And you can call her a glutton all you like, but I have sisters too, and I remember what it felt like to return home without any food. So maybe she’ll spend all that money on stupid things-maybe she and her sisters have no self-control. But I’m not going to take that chance and let them starve, because of some ridiculous rule that your ancestors invented. (ACOMAF Pg. 94)

This is the AHA moment for me. It’s the one part where you realize how fractured and fragile Feylin was in the first place. How little both of them understand each other. Sure, they love each other-I don’t think for one moment that they faked their love for each other. But love can only take you so far when you fail to understand and appreciate the little or large things that make your partner who they are. It’s also very interesting that she would actually voice out her opinion and lash out against Tamlin after coming back from Rhysand who tells her to become vital and become a weapon. A small bit of Feyre has come back.

How poorly Tamlin understands Feyre comes to light after he fucking traps her in the house. For Feyre it’s a very real and terrifying moment as she comes to grip with how helpless she felt under the mountain. It’s that moment when Tamlin completely rips away Feyre’s freedom to come in and out that Feyre realizes that she has lost all sense of herself. She’s not just trapped physically but also mentally(does that make sense?).

Feyrhys

That rage flicker in his eyes again at the dress, the hair. (ACOMAF Pg. 47)

In the few moments that Rhysand has been with Feyre he immediately is able to reveal all the underlying problems with Feylin-earning Feyre’s ire. She’s in denial that anything could possibly be wrong. Why? She practically killed herself to preserve her relationship with Tamlin only to have it fracture straight afterwards. Rhysand recognizes that she has become a “doe-eyed damsel” which is a far cry from the warrior and badassery that is Ferye. He’s furious that Tamlin and the others have trapped her in such a persona because it strips Feyre of her independence and individuality.

I love how he distinctly says, “You are not a prisoner, Feyre.” (ACOMAF Pg. 48) Because in Tamlin’s home, she is a prisoner. She is a prisoner to Tamlin’s whims and orders. She is a prisoner to the wedding. She is a prisoner to the nightmares that haunt her incessantly. But in Rhysand’s home and in his eyes, she is a free individual.

He wants her to become independent again. And what better way to do it than to help her read and cultivate her hidden Fae skills.

Rhysand is the most handsome High Lord.

Rhysand is the most delightful High Lord.

Rhysand is the most cunning High Lord.

First of all, this is so Rhys and it made my mouth twist into a smile. Second of all, can I just say he’s the most vain bastard of all time (but you love him for it anyway?). And third, he probably makes Feyre copy it out not just to feed his vanity but also to channel and direct her anger into something productive. It’s the same method he uses under the mountain to distract her. Feyre’s anger is what helps winnow out (ha get it? No? Ok I’ll shut up now lol) the pain and helps her get out of whatever hole she’s in.

“I have nowhere else to go.” (ACOMAF Pg. 127)

UGH RHYS IS YOUR HOME FEYRE!!!!!!!!!!!! (You can tell that I started shipping them here). But in all seriousness, Feyre has never truly felt at home since the moment she got snatched away from the Mortal Lands. She doesn’t feel at home in her Fae skin because she still has a mortal heart. She’s very lost and confused and has lost complete sense of what to do. Getting away from the very place that had trapped her in the first place is just what she needs to feel that she belongs.

This house…this house was a home that had been lived in and enjoyed and cherished. (Pg. 131)

Welcome home Feyre.

Mor is My Queen

“Good thing I came along. Though I’d enjoy seeing Rhys’s balls nailed to the wall.” (ACOMAF Pg. 59)

Part 2 can be found here: 2