-Part three of Leave (The final addition to the trilogy)-
Criminal Minds (Spencer Reid/Reader)
I also want to thank everyone that sent in requests for this part and gave me feedback on the others. I really do appreciate each and every one of you, and I truly hope you enjoy this final part to the “Leave” Trilogy! Much love! -Lex
"You used to say I made you feel safe.“ He mumbled, and a small whisper finally escaped me.
"That is gone.”
When his hand fell away, and he looked to the ground with wide eyes, as if he had just taken a blow to the stomach, I took my chance to get away. I ran out of the library and to my car, getting in and locking the doors as I sat in the front seat, leaning my head backwards and sighing as tears built in my eyes.
I knew it had been a lie as soon as the words slipped from my lips. Just at the sight of him, of his long hair and tall frame, his coat and scarf, his warm brown eyes, his hands holding the book as if it was the most fragile thing he had ever touched, everything I saw in him caused me to stop in my tracks as a feeling of comfort overwhelmed all of my senses. It was if I could still feel when he would wrap his arms around me after a long day. When he would mumble that he loved me into my hair as he went to kiss the top of my head. I felt as if I had been away for a while, and I was finally home again.
But I could not show that. Not with what he had done to me.
And so, I lied. I wanted to hold him closer than I had ever done before, but I ran. I wanted to talk to him about everything, but I silenced him with one hushed statement. I wanted to laugh with him, but I broke him. But then again, wasn’t that what he had done?
We had been together for so long, but he ended it so quickly. We had loved, and he called it a lie. We had laughed, but it ended in screams. We had felt so much, but it ended in a blur of numb reaction. We had been so alive, but he stomped the flame to a black, cold, death.
But even knowing all of this, I loved him. I still do.
I sighed as I watched the road, headlights speeding by me as I tried to stay focused. My grip tightened on the steering wheel as I got off of my exit and sighed. The intro to “Livin’ On A Prayer” was seeping through the speakers as I pushed the gas petal down, my eyes stopping on the clock. 11:43 P.M.
“You’re music taste is odd.” Spencer smirked as he looked at me from the passenger’s seat.
"How so?“ I asked, ready to get defensive as soon as he had said it.
He smiled, picking up my phone and unlocking it to get to my music list. "Y/n, you have Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra in this playlist, but then you have Beethoven and Chopin, and you scroll two songs down from David Bowie to find AC/DC, Guns-N-Roses, and Five Finger Death Punch.” He started to laugh as I rolled my eyes. “Oh, and I can’t leave out your love for Skrillex.”
"Shut up Spencer. I like Daft Punk too.“ His laugh became louder when I mumbled this, and I smiled at the sound of it.
The sound of a horn startled me, and I jumped as I realized I had drifted into the other lane, and an incoming car was relentlessly laying on their horn. My senses were overtaken by the bright white of the headlights as they moved closer and closer with every passing moment. My breath caught in my throat for a moment as my eyes widened.
I pulled on the steering wheel frantically, barely making it out of the way in time. I pulled onto the side of the road, parking and turning off the radio. I set my head against the steering wheel, shaking as tears built in my eyes. "I can’t do this anymore.” I mumbled to myself, picking up my head and taking a deep breath. I wiped the fallen tears from my cheeks, turning off the radio and putting the car in reverse to turn around.
When I parked and turned off the car, I sat in the welcoming silence. I bit at the inside of my cheek as I thought about everything that had happened.
"You have to leave.“
"I don’t love you!”
"I want you to go!“
"You’re scared of me?“
"That is gone.”
Every memory of everything that had happened flooded my mind, but I shook it away as I got out of the car. I walked up to the door, staring at it. The aquamarine color seemed faded, especially in the dark.
I smiled at the bright color of his front door when I saw it the first time. “I fully blame that door on the previous owners.” Spencer defended himself as we walked up, and he pulled out his keys.
"I like it.“ I smiled gently as he held the door open for me and I walked in. "It’s a nice color.” He smiled gently, shaking his head as he shut the door and helped me with my jacket, hanging it on a nearby hook.
I knocked on the door lightly, and a part of me hoped he wouldn’t answer. But, he did. The door opened slowly, and Spencer peeked around it. His eyebrows came together as his tongue darted between his lips and I looked down. I froze as I stared down at the ground, knowing he had seen me. The door opened fully, and he stood in the doorway silently for a moment. “I’m sorry I can go. I don’t know wh-” I went to turn away as I spoke, but he grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him.
"I’m so sorry Y/n.“ Tears instantly built in my eyes as he looked down at me. "For everything. I didn’t mean a word of it. I have loved you from the very fist time I met you in that library. I love your voice and your laugh and your smile and your music choice and every other thing you do.”
I didn’t know what to say, but out of instinct, I tried to pull away. “No.” He pulled me to his chest quickly, wrapping his arms around me, one of his hands tangling in my hair and holding my head to his chest. “Please,” he gasped, and his shaking chest and voice told me his was crying as I wrapped my arms tightly around his, clutching onto his vest as if he would disappear if I let go. “Please stay.”
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