“I’m sorry, John,” he rasped. He looked - God, he looked wrecked. To anyone else he might have looked no more than slightly perturbed, but to John, who knew him so well, he might as well have been sobbing.
“I think it’s safe to say nobody in their right mind wants to go into a church and kill people, I told them I had to, but it’s not true…I didn’t have to. No one made me. What I meant was, I felt like I had to do it, I still feel like I had to do it.”