i felt like doing something different

anonymous asked:

Do you have any advice for someone that wants to start a simblr? 😊

Do what you love to do! Not a single Simblr you follow started out with thousands of followers, no matter how big they may be now! I know some people may roll their eyes at the standard advice I am going to give you, but remember to have fun and create/do what you want to create.

Before the new year, I had a period where I felt like I HAD to do every request and suggestion I received, that I somehow had to fulfill the wishes of everyone that asked me to make/do something, because they trusted me to execute it well. Having this attitude sucks the fun out of the game. The truth is that we are all different people that like different types of aesthetics, like to play their game differently (or not play the actual game at all, just play around in CAS and build mode like I did/do) and that come from a wide variety of backgrounds.

Start simple! Make a blog (I’d advice you to make a new Tumblr account as opposed to making a sideblog. This is one of my biggest regrets making this blog - since it’s tied to my main blog, I can’t reply to replies or send people asks), pick a theme you like and customize it the way you want to. If you’d like, you can make a Sim or even a Simself for your avatar. Then just start posting! Do you want to post gameplay pictures? Go for it! Want to make your own CC? Do it! There’s thousands of people browsing for new CC every day (including me), with very different tastes and games. There’s bound to be a following for you out there and the CC you want to create. <3

Also, I can not stress this enough: be nice. Even if it is a scary grayface sending you an ask: chances are, it’s a human on the other side of the computer. If you particularely like a piece of CC or a gameplay picture someone posted, let the person know by reblogging it and adding a comment (in the tags if you’re shy!), and reach out to people. I met so many wonderful people on this website just because I sent them a message telling how much I loved their work and the stuff they did, and people have done the same to me. I know the community seems like an absolutely awful place sometimes, but for every bit of foulness there is a whole lot of love, creativity and friendships to be had.

Some more specific tips on how to get noticed as a Simblr I wrote here a while back!

I hope that helps ♥ Good luck with making your Simblr! You can totally send me the link once you do, I will check it out <3

i remember the first time i saw a trailer for Split in the movie theaters. i was with family and the theater was full and i’d been mildly enjoying the trailers and perked up a bit when the tell-tale ominous music of a horror movie trailer started, because i love good thrillers.

except then it was frame after frame after frame of a person with dissociative identity disorder being portrayed as everyone’s boogey man, the shrieks of the little girl protagonists as he appeared wearing different clothes and a different voice, people in the theater jumping and giggling every time they showed the man doing something horrific. and i felt frozen in my seat.

my sister leaned over to me when it was finished and said “i want to see that” with a look on her face like it was the greatest trailer she’d ever seen.

like it wasn’t a punch to my gut everytime i heard someone whisper “psycho” or “crazy” and other terrible things. like in that moment i didn’t feel like running away from all these people, like i didn’t feel unsafe and filthy. because these people getting their thrills from a demonizing potrayal of a mental illness.

and the thing is, it matters.

because if i bring it up people will say “oh but it’s not really mental illness, like depression or something. he was just fucking crazy which is totally scary haha”. yeah well, not haha. not haha because DID is a real mental illness but that’s not what it looks like. people with DID aren’t murderers or dangerous. but now, because movies like Split are all people have seen of illnesses like DID, that’s their frame of reference.

the media does it with DID, with schizophrenia, with every single personality disorder, with bipolar, with everything else that is “scary”. raising awareness for depression and anxiety is important, they’re valid and serious illnesses. but hardly anyone tries to protect people with “scary” disorders. this halloween when costumes of the main character crop up, people will giggle and buy it because it’s so creepy and cool.

i’m reminded that, although i don’t have DID, much of my mental illness is defined by symptoms that are used in other horror movies. that people who have “scary” disorders are the entertainment in everyone else’s world. and for people who do have DID, that movie is absolutely devastating.

so if you buy a ticket to see Split, please know that’s it’s not harmless entertainment or a good thrill. it’s fucking ableism and you’re being ableist if you go see it.

(please reblog, neurotypical or not)

Here is an animation I started this summer, I wanted to try something different and do a bit more acting.

I was feeling nostalgic about my brother as a kid, and how I used to hold him in my arms all the time. I realised I could remember this feeling like it was yesterday. I might never forget it.

So i felt like animating how we would “hug” today.

How yoi plays with sports story scheme

I was wondering recently why Yuri on Ice seemed to be so different and fresh to me and why so many people get so emotionally engaged with it. There is definitely a nice animation and great characters and representation and such a beautiful love story but I felt like there was something in the narration layer that I couldn’t name until I compared yoi storyline to the most common schemes.

When you look at most of the pop cultural stories, especially those where main plot focuses on sport, you’ll see that there is that one scheme they all follow - you have a hero who has talent but lacks something (like a good mentor or hard work or confidence), he finds a motivation to win (it may be anything from parent’s death to wish to impress a girl) and he finds a dedicated coach, he trains, he loses, he learns something about himself, he wins, he gets an award. This is the basic way of constructing such stories and it’s catchy because we all want to believe that we are able to fight our weaknesses and win by ourselves. You may modify this scheme to a large extent but the main core will always be a single hero who needs to grow in order to win and actually I think that this scheme is present in Yuri on Ice but in Yurio’s not Yuuri’s story. Yurio has talent, lacks hard work and needs to learn something about himself, his skate-off with Yuuri gives him a motivation to win, he trains hard, he loses, he grows, he wins. This doesn’t make his story or his character less interesting but I wanted to give you an example of what am I talking about so I could compare it to Yuuri’s story.

So now, where is Yuuri’s plot different you could say. Well, in a way you could find all those elements in Yuuri’s story too but his development is where it all turns to be innovative. You see in the basic scheme the hero needs to learn to win by himself while Yuuri has got to that point a long time ago. He had all of that: his motivation, his hard work, most of his abilities, his own strength before he met Victor. He was fighting by himself for five years before and even if his anxiety makes him look like a weak loser it is obvious he is already beyond that “learning about myself” phase. Even this confidence Victor helps him to find he already had just hidden. Yuuri knows his emotions and some of his strengths and most of the weak points himself and either he wins or loses those minor competitions it doesn’t change him too deeply. But what Victor gives him is the belief that he doesn’t have to fight by himself anymore. Not in a “you can learn from other people” or “teamwork is important” kind of way (’cause they are still used in most of the stories) but in acknowledging that you may become better if you let someone close to you (this lesson applies to Victor to btw but he is not the main hero so I’ll skip this part). 

I won’t say this reverses the scheme completely as this is still some kind of personal development that helps to win (though the fact that Yuuri does not finally win is interesting by itself) but it definitely changes the subtext of the whole story.  We like stories about heroes fighting by themselves because we often struggle with our problems alone and we need to believe me can do it. But Yuri on Ice gives us the idea that thought you are strong enough to fight maybe you don’t have to fight alone at all. I guess this is why it has such a great emotional impact because in a world that tells you all the time that it’s only for you to win the story of someone who still needed help even if he already was strong and beautiful is really hopeful, positive and in a way more realistic then the basic “hero can only win by himself” scheme. 

There is also the whole layer of how Victor doesn’t fit to the standard portrayal of a mentor figure but I think this is quite easy to spot and maybe let’s not make this longer than it has to be but the last quick reflection I had is that the most common way of portraying romantic relationships in the sports stories is either when the hero needs to sacrifice his relationship in order to focus (which is the trope I personally hate) or when he wins the attention of his love interest by winning the final competition (so the love is somehow a reward then). What is great in Yuuri and Victor’s relationship is how Yuuri doesn’t have to win to prove his worth to Victor. Almost from the beginning, Victor knows Yuuri’s flaws and he falls for him anyway. So Yuuri is not only given support that helps him to become better but also he doesn’t need to earn that support. Which I think again is quite moving because everyone dreams of this kind of relationship. We are all scared that we are not good enough to let someone help us in the first place and this is where yoi tells us it doesn’t have to be this way.

I’m sure there are much more tropes that are reversed in yoi and there is the whole narration layer that is also quite original but as storytelling is what I have the most experience with I decided to focus on this aspect only. And I may be wrong I just like to find and discuss narration schemes so please argue if you disagree but I love the fact that even when yoi takes those basic narration schemes it uses it to send a very positive message across and for me it could be a reason why there is such an enthusiastic fandom around it - because this anime exchanges the story of fighting alone for a story about growing in a relationship though it does not change a sports story for a cheaply romantic one.

It’s really vitally important to me the way women are portrayed. As someone who has always felt at times pretty genderless because of my size, it interests me to challenge ideas of prejudice and femininity and what it is to be a woman. It’s still something that I don’t have all the answers for but I would like to make a bit of a difference; do something, anything, that causes people to have more sense of equality.

On Love

So I don’t usually write meta or things along those lines, I prefer to write romances and mushy crap. But this, this is something I really feel strongly about that I need to get out of my brain.

There needs to be an “I love you” moment from Victor or Yuuri as, I feel, this action will be the catalyst that will help Yuuri skate perfectly and finally accept the love that is felt for him, about him. There has to be something that will inspire Yuuri and open himself to actually feel the important forms of love that  are imperative to him skating a perfect ”Yuri on Ice” program. Doing this will cause Yuuri to skate like he has never skated before, land that quad flip, and show the world the truth about the love he and Victor have.

This entire show has been about love and the different forms of love, of which Yuuri does not have a full grasp on yet. So, it is my opinion that something is going to happen in episode 12 that will click and Yuuri will finally understand.

I really feel that we are going to have a parking garage moment that will end with Victor in tears, and Yuuri shattering Victor’s heart. He isn’t going to listen to Victor, and Victor is going to be stunned, and unsure of what to do or say. Something dramatic is going to go down that will cause tension between the two until it’s time for the FS program. Yuuri really feels he is doing the right thing by telling Victor that he wants to end things with him, but the truth is that they are still not going to be on the same page yet.

(cut for length)

Keep reading

It’s really vitally important to me the way women are portrayed. As someone who has always felt at times pretty genderless because of my size, it interests me to challenge ideas of prejudice and femininity and what it is to be a woman. It’s still something that I don’t have all the answers for but I would like to make a bit of a difference; do something, anything, that causes people to have more sense of equality.

2

So I’m taking a course on the American Revolution, and a friend and I had the joking idea to make fake posters/covers based on the titles of the academic articles we had to read. :0 Mine was An American Tory by Morton Borden, which explores the complexity of Loyalism in the Revolution. This cover doesn’t really have anything to do with the content, but I did want to draw Alfred looking hesitant and suspicious, with a people of different positions and backgrounds behind him. Something about the title “American Tory” felt very weirdly cinematic and so I decided to make a fake indie/graphic novel type of cover.

Who knows? maybe I’ll make some “fake” comic book pages to go with it as well…..

CommandTower-SolRing-Go 1000 Follower Giveaway

I would like to start by thanking all my followers. You are the real MVPs, and so because of that, I want to treat you all with a giveaway

Back at my 100 follower giveaway, I knew that for 1000 I wanted to do something a bit bigger and foil out the same prize I gave out last time. But, since foil full art lands are hideously expensive (when buying 20), and only having one winner felt a touch unfair, this time will be slightly different. This time around there will be two winners. What will each person win? Well, a foil Command Tower and a foil Sol Ring, as both are this blog’s name sake and my two favourite cards in Magic.

The idea with this, is that by having these cards, you will be able to start your own, brand new, EDH deck, or begin to bling out your old one.

The exact prints are as follows

x1 Judge Promo - Command Tower per winner

x1 From the Vault Relics - Sol Ring per winner

So, there are a few ground rules.

First: You must be following me to enter. If you aren’t, your entries won’t count.

Second: 1 reblog is 1 entry. 

Thrid: 1 like is another. 

Third and a half: No giveaway blogs. 

Fourth: This will end on the 30th of November 2016 at 11:59pm AEDST. 

I can ship internationally, so don’t worry about that. There will be no extra cost.

I will then select the winner within the week, contact them for address information, then send it out. Due to me being foreign, this could take anywhere from 1 to 3 weeks. Please keep your ask box open, and ready as, if you don’t contact me back, I will choose a new winner. 

I will ensure each card is packaged safely and heavily to try and avoid any warping or damage in transit, however accident can happen. 

As always, good luck to everyone who takes part. If you have any questions that I failed to cover in this post, I’ll happily answer them if you send me an ask, or leave a comment. 

And once again, thank you!

RFA + MC: Panic Attacks

This also wasn’t requested. But I would like to point out that I struggle greatly with anxiety, panic attacks and low self esteem. That being said, everyone experiences anxiety differently. The accounts described are how I deal with them.

  • Yoosung

- It’s a shame. Rika wouldn’t do something like that
- If only Rika was here with us still, I miss her

- You and Yoosung were in a relationship for the past year and it was slowly blossoming. You two loved each other a lot and often told each other how you felt or if something was bothering you. You two vowed to be there for each other after all.
- Yet at times, you always felt that he still held Rika closer to him than you. Which was fine, Rika was like family to Yoosung. Her death was very traumatic for him, seeing that it was his first time coping with grief. You understood that much and were fine with that part.
- Yet you always felt at competition against her. And she wasn’t even alive anymore…
- He doesn’t love me
- He doesn’t appreciate me…
- I’m not doing enough for this party
- After all, I’m not Rika…

- Thoughts played on a loop. Your chest started to tighten and you awoke with a gasp. It was the middle of the summer and you were wearing your vest and shorts, yet your body was drenched in a layer of sweat. You started to lose sensation in your hands and feed and your breathing became faster and laboured.
- Tears streamed down your face as you croaked to Yoosung for help, unable to speak. You patted for him desperately.
- “MC..? It’s the middle of the night…” he said, groggily. He leaned over and turned on the lamp, wincing at the sudden brightness. He leaned over and froze when he saw you in your panicked state. He knew you got panic attacks regularly and he was there all the time for them, but he never knew the reason. “MC…”
- He never knew that you felt that you were being compared to Rika, and in turn, started to compared yourself to Rika.
- He pulled you close to him and tried to get through to you. “Shh, everything’s fine. You’re okay, it’s only panic. I want you to take deep breaths with me, okay?”
- You began to follow him and he rubbed your back up and down. He looked up to you so much yet you suffered with these debilitating attacks. Once you calmed down he asked what was on your mind. The stress of the party, feeling totally inadequate and comparing yourself to Rika, everything.
- He kissed your forehead and pulled you towards his chest now.
- “You’re so silly. Is that what triggered this? MC, love, there is no need go compare yourself to Rika and I’m sorry I come across as if I do that. I’ll change. But you’re you. Give yourself some credit. This is your second  party, give yourself some credit. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  • Zen:

- There he was, looking as dazzling as ever. He was where he belonged on stage. He was so gifted and handsome and chivalrous.
- It was so packed and hot and you couldn’t hear yourself think. Or breathe. You felt really unwell.
- The intermission was approaching. Good, I have survived an hour, I can do one more and then Zen will be finished and we can go home, you told yourself.
- But you now had to deal with Zen’s fans outside. The majority of his fans were lovely and they were happy with the two of you being in a relationship and later married. You neglected to tell Zen this, but some of them had been targeting you on social media platforms. This wasn’t the root source of your issues with a anxiety and panic, but it’s undeniably true that it has been making your anxiety worse.
- “Oh look, it’s MC.”
- “I wonder what she did to become Zen’s wife.”
- “Oh, you mean it’s not obvious yet? Look at her!” The insults came one after the other.
- And you ran. You couldn’t take it, those comments tipped it over the edge. You ran backstage, despite what security said. You called out for your husband, your panic attack reducing you to the floor.
- “Miss, are you okay?” A backstage worker asked
- You shook your head, trying to catch your breath, but failing. You grasped at the air before you, croaking for Zen again. And thankfully, he spotted you and ran over to you.
- “Oh, mc, hey, hey… are you okay?” Your chest screamed for oxygen but you shook your head. He pulled you towards his chest for a few moments.
- “That’s okay, let it out. You’ve done well to last this long, okay?”
- He lifted you up and took you into the restroom. Zen always kept one of your beta-blockers with him, as well as a bottle of water. He gently pressed a tablet against your lips and opened up the bottle of water. You took a drink and you chest slowly began to loosen.
- He informed the director he had to leave to tend to some personal issues of his own and have his understudy take over, against the director’s and your own wishes. But he insisted. He needed to make you feel happy.
- He drove you home, removed your clothes drenched in sweat and gave you some looser clothes. He pulled back the covers and wrapped his arms around you, whispering sweet nothings until you relaxed and fell asleep in his arms.

  • Jaehee:

- Jaehee knew that you suffered from GAD and panic attacks. You had been for years now and it took a while, but you have come to grips with it for the most part that you were just an anxious person. It took time, but you gradually began to get your life back.
- However, you still had bad days and today was one of those days.
- Maybe it was the heat or because the cafe was packed today. But you couldn’t concentrate and usually that was a sign that a panic attack could overtake you. Everything seemed ‘fuzzy’, as if you were having an outer body experience.
- Jaehee called you over to serve two customers. It took you a few moments to register her request, but you walked over and took the tray to the table.
- Jaehee noted that you looked very pale, as did the customers at the table. You were now shaking and your chest tightened.
- “Are you okay?” They asked.
- You didn’t answer as you ran into the supply room, Jaehee coming in a few minutes later.
- Needless to say, you were a mess. You were hyperventilating, tears leaving tracks down your face, shaking. The familiar feeling of dread lingering in the back of your mind. You needed to get out, you needed to–!
- “Mc.” Jaehee said, kneeling down on the ground before you. She had your sweaty, clammy hands in hers. “Remember, you’re okay.” You began to whimper again and she brought a tissue to wipe your face. “Shh, shh. You’re okay, you’re okay.”
- She placed a glass of water up to your lips, encouraging you to take a drink.
- “Take as long as you need. I hunted everyone out, saying we were taking a break for an hour for lunch or something. You know, maybe that’s what you need. But for now, sit here, compose yourself, and I’ll be out in the kitchen and we can talk then, yeah?”

  • Jumin:

- “Dear, you look unwell, are you okay?”
- You nodded your head, but you could feel the butterflies in your stomach. The tingling sensations spread down your legs and arms. Jumin took a hold of your hand, squeezed it as a way of saying, “It’ll be okay.”
- And he was right. It was proven that a panic attack can, generally, last only ten minutes. But those ten minutes were utterly horrifying and the panic attack could easily come back.
- Currently, Jumin, you and his employees were in a meeting about business related crap, you honestly couldn’t pay attention at this stage. And then, an employee asked you to speak.
- No, no, please, you said to yourself.
- You stood up and slowly walked over towards the whiteboard that had various diagrams on it. You had a sheet of paper in your hands of the points you wanted to make. You then felt the employees’ eyes piercing into your very soul.
- You blinked away the tears, trying to compose yourself. Your chest was so tight and there was a sharp pain there too. The room began to spin. Thankfully, Jumin came to your rescue by saying, “let’s take a ten minute break.”
- You dropped the documents in your hands in a hurry and ran out of the conference room. Jumin came out and he held your hand as he took you to his office. You burst into tears as soon as he shut the doors to his office. He sat you down in his office chair as he kneeled down. Tears dripped down, landing on your pencil skirt. Jumin had his hand in yours and was rubbing circles into your palms.
- “It’s okay. Just follow my breathing. Just concentrate on your breath coming in-” he paused to inhale, “-and out.” And exhaled.
- You shook your head, hyperventilating still. You looked into those familiar eyes of liquid mercury, a comforting glaze in his look. You told him you can’t but he was there to shake away those thoughts.
- “You can, you absolutely can. Keep your eyes on me and focus on your breath,” he cooed, his voice turning to a whisper. “I am not going anywhere. I know you can do it.”
- In, out
- In, out
- You kept your gaze locked on his hypnotic eyes. He was there every step of the way. A warmth filled your heart and he gently pressed his lips to yours.

Saeyoung:

- “I don’t care about your feelings, alright?!”
- “Don’t be nice to me if you don’t know anything..
.”
- “Keep your distance.”
- You had been nothing but kind and patient towards Saeyoung. You tried to be understanding, but he kept pushing you away. You tried to get through to him, but he wouldn’t have any of it. Today he reached his limits, and he snapped at you. And it was much harsher than normal.
- You slid down the edge of the island unit in Rika’s apartment. You buried your head between your hands and shook.
- You felt so stupid. I am such an idiot, he doesn’t like me at all… I just keep annoying him. Oh god, I must have gone overboard this time, you said to yourself.
- But you tried your best to help him; you gave him space, left him food, etc.
- Your chest grew tighter and tighter until you couldn’t breathe. You gasped in heavy strokes, trying to remain as quiet as possibly so that you wouldn’t disturb Saeyoung. You clamped a hand over your mouth, which echoed with a slap. Saeyoung must have heard it. He ran out and saw you in this state and. His heart split into two pieces.
- Oh god, are they okay?!
- He crouched down, shook them and took a hold of your hands. “Mc, mc… hey, mc! Can you hear me?”
- You responded with choked whimpers and laboured breaths. He sat down beside you, squeezing your hands.
- “You…” you whimpered, “you’re so mean to me… I am trying to understand you, but you’re so cruel to me…”
- I caused this… I caused them to panic like this, he said to himself, bringing you to his chest.
- “I am sorry, I am so sorry, Mc. I am doing this for your own good. I’m dangerous and you can’t get close to–”
- “I don’t care!! I don’t care that you’re dangerous. It makes no difference, because I love you… a-and you keep pushing me away!” you wailed. “But it just fucking hurts!” You choked. Your breathing quickened and the room started to spin and Saeyoung cupped your tear-streaked cheeks.
- Everything she said was a stab to the chest.
- “It’s like you don’t care… but I know you do, I know it!”
- “Deep breaths, Mc. Try to calm yourself before we talk about this…”
- He sat with you, taking deep breaths. There was bomb in this apartment, but this was more important. You were upset and he was partially to blame. As you stopped crying, he rubbed your back. He tried to explain his feelings to you.
- “I am sorry, mc… I am sorry I said those things. But… I do feel the same way. I just don’t want to hurt you… I want to cherish you. But look at what I have done to you… I will not yell at you anymore. All I ask is that you wait for me to deal with this bomb crap and we’ll talk more about this then.”
- You nodded.
- He guided to your bed and suggested to taking a nap. He left a drink of water in your bedside locker and stayed with you until you fell asleep.

4

The announcer (Grammys 2014) said, “And the AOTY goes to Raaaandom Access Memory by Daft Punk.” Which sounds a lot like Red. For about two seconds, I thought we had it. But we didn’t. And I ended up going home thinking a lot about everything. Thinking about where I was going, what I’d been doing, how I felt like I needed to change something. I went to bed and I woke up at 4 in the morning and I knew what the next album needed to be. I’m gonna completely switch gears. It needs to be called 1989. Everything about this new phase and this new chapter has to be different.

an aquarius came to my house around 3am drunk and disorientated the other night, just to tell me how they appreciate that I am “different and unique” and to never change that about myself …talked my ear off for a whole hour about wacky ideas, slurred inspiration and existential nonsense

it seems charming but it was actually very annoying and I don’t know…seems like something an aquarius would do… it’s like lightning bolts shoot their minds spontaneously. they become electrified with erratic energy and feel the need to discuss them no matter the time or place, they become awfully chatty…they’re weird like that

SUNMOON POKEDDEX DAY 3 - Favourite Fairy Type: Comfey

This was a pretty tough category because my favourites of the non-legendary Alolan fairies are appointed in other slots. I would’ve drawn Morelull because I just love the concept but I’m going to draw it for another project later so I chose to do something different. I guess Comfey is pretty nice. I kinda like the concept plus it was quite interesting to design it. I had some ideas what to base it on but I decided to go with a fluffy moth since I felt like it would be most fitting to the concept and it felt more interesting than some small ambiguous fairy thing.

REQUEST 121 ~ Stupid (angst) part 1

A/N: I would do smut but at the moment i really feel like making this one angsty as fuck 

Warnings: Lots of swearing.

Sometimes people in relationships argue. That, in theory, helps the relationship to grow. It sorts out the rough patches that have been avoided. But sometimes those arguments lead to regrets and to have one can break something that was once perfect.

For a few weeks now, i could feel the tension between Dan and I. It felt like we were becoming two separate people. The distance between us was unnoticeable at first, it was things like eating at different times or going to bed after the other had fallen asleep. For some people that’s normal but with Dan and I it used to be a rare occurrence. It then built up into being day’s in which minimal words were spoken to one another. Everyday that went by when this would happen felt like i was isolated from him. 

It all came to an end because of a small disagreement. In the past when we had disagreed on something a quick hug and compromise would solve it but this time, that wouldn’t work. 

As i went through our cupboards looking for something to make for dinner, i called out for Dan to come and help decide. He had been in a pissy mood all day so i was hoping that if he could pick something he would love for dinner it would make him feel better. 

“What?” He sighed as he appeared in the doorway on his phone. 

I opened the cupboard door wider and moved so he could see, “I was wondering what you wanted for dinner?” 

He shrugged his shoulders while still staring down at his phone. I sighed inaudibly, beginning to feel pissed off with his ignorance. 

“Come on, there has to be something you want?” 

He shrugged again and turned away from me. Normally i have really good patience with things like this but recently, when our relationship was going the way it had, my patience was going.

“Ok Dan, just ignore me that’s f-”

“For fuck sake, i don’t know what i want to fucking eat ok, if i want something i’ll make it my fucking self ok.” He snapped looking at me with annoyance. 

“What the hell has crawled up your ass?”

“You. You are getting on my nerves with your constant pestering.” 

I widened my eye, anger spreading through my body.

“Are you kidding me? Seriously? This is the most we have spoken this entire week. You have said fuck all to me. You should feel lucky that i even considered making you dinner tonight.” 

He stood up straighter causing him to grow slightly taller in his already gigantic height. 

“You know what? The reason i haven’t spoken to you that much is because every time you speak it annoys me. I didn’t ask you to make me dinner, so i don’t know why i should feel grateful about it.” 

I stayed silent while he basically tore me apart with every word. This wasn’t the man who said he loved me.

“Sometime i really fucking hate you…” 

You know how in movies when something intense happens and suddenly everything goes muffled and moves slowly. When he uttered those vicious words, it felt like just that. I didn’t know what to say. My mind went crazy trying to make sense of the situation. Hates me? I felt a single tear drop onto my cheek which brought me back to reality. I need to be away from him now. 

I rushed past him and to the door, grabbing a jacket that had my keys, money and travel card, and left. I didn’t know where i was going, but all i knew was that i need to escape the crime scene of our relationship.

Time to Celebrate! 

Featuring a grown up Adrien and Marinette 

Felt like doing some practice drawing/coloring in SAI so I decided to draw a scene from chapter 17 of “Appearance Can Be Deceiving” (For those of you reading now you know something to look forward to since this chapter is still a ways from being posted. Mwahahaha) Over all I was pretty happy with how this turned out, although it amazes me how different my style ends up looking when I do colored vs sketch… not sure how to feel about that yet. ::shrugs;: 

8th Advent Joker Imagine

Originally posted by mariehorror483

Originally posted by lxvesickxx

Joker’s P.O.V.

I had never been the person to believe in miracles, in magical myths that could somehow with a pinch of hope and belief change your life. No. I had never let myself get so lost in life that I rely on something I can’t see, something I can’t feel, something I can’t even know exists.I was the man to do action in my life. If things weren’t the way I wanted them to be, I stepped in and changed it. If I felt like my life was getting different than what I wanted, I could grab a gun and shoot away my problems and just like that I’d be okay again.

But not this time.

Ever since I met Y/N, my girlfriend, my life changed. Not so much because I was still a cold-hearted criminal, I robbed banks, I shot civils, I also shot for fun, I killed because I liked it. Nothing like that stopped. Y/N happened to fall in love with me and with a few tricks I got a partner in crime. We did those mad crimes together.

But she changed something inside of me and man it required a lot of work, but she stuck with me. Y/N never gave up because she believed that I could be loved although I tried to make her leave. I was so glad that she held onto me so strongly because I had to admit crimes were more fun with a partner by your side. Also I could open up to her. That was rare from me, a so called psychopath to open up. But Y/N was loyal and my secrets were sealed within her pretty red lips.

That’s why I had to be loyal to her. Being a good boyfriend felt hard, but she didn’t judge me. I learnt new things like how not to kill someone when I get angry, how to control my anger, but of course with her. She made me feel things. I got an urge to keep her safe so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I didn’t want to see her getting hurt, seeing that wonderful woman in pain or crying because it would make my chest sting. I had promised to be good for her, only her.

But had I succeeded?

‘’It’s just 16 days to Christmas babe’’ I smiled, speaking softly because I was tired. She was laying in bed, looking very peaceful in my eyes. Her hair was sprawled on her sides, but it wasn’t messy. I held her hand in mine and tried to be there without crying. She didn’t answer, but it was okay.

‘’I got you a real nice surprise. I’d like to see you open the presents’’ I admitted after a small silence. My eyes moved to the window that was showing us the view of Gotham city. It was night so I saw a lot of lights in the dark. We were quite high up so our eyes carried far across the city. The building was close to the shore so sometimes I could see boats in daylight. But that wasn’t so interesting right now.

‘’Think..It’s our fifth Christmas together baby..’’ My lips curved into a smile, but I wasn’t exactly happy and full of joy. Y/N still didn’t reply and I was feeling hopeless. Yet I wouldn’t give up. Her beautiful E/C eyes were closed and she hadn’t opened them in a few days now. My smile faded as I thought about what had happened.

We were on a heist a couple weeks ago, being completely careless as always. Y/N and I had decided to take a nice drive around the city after robbing a jewelry shop. Just as we thought things were fine and we laughed about the crime we had committed, a drunk driver hit our car, knocking us out of the road and the side of the car smashed against a building. Of course Y/N happened to be on that side and she got hurt, very badly.

I remember seeing her dark red blood prickling out of wounds and then I saw how her beautiful white and pink dress got big red stains that grew larger and larger. Y/N didn’t pass out immediately. I still remembered freshly sitting there, trying to think, but I was too shocked. For the first time in years I was really panicking. Y/N had looked at me and that’s when the pain really kicked in to her. She had leaned against the crushed seat and I just watched as her eyes dimmed.

I tried to tell her to stay awake, to be strong and reassure her that it was okay, but even I didn’t believe myself. She tried to tell me something, but that’s when her consciousness vanished and she looked like a doll, a broken one tho. I was devastated. Of course I didn’t let the drunk asshole get away with it easily. I got my revenge and it ended up killing the guy, but that’s another story.

Y/N had fallen into coma. First she was at a special hospital, but after a week or so they moved her to the penthouse. We put all the machines that kept her alive in a guest room and that’s where Y/N was sleeping. I was sitting on a chair next to the bed, sitting in misery as my girlfriend lied there, relying on machines to stay alive.

‘’Please wake up doll face. You love Christmas so much. You don’t want to miss out, right?’’ I nearly started crying. I didn’t cry tho, I just couldn’t. I felt like I didn’t know how to cry or handle these emotions. Y/N hadn’t taught me how to handle such misery and sadness the right way yet. 

I had always put action to make things better, but now I understood why people hoped. Now I was hoping for a miracle as well. The best Christmas present of all time would be that Y/N would wake up and be alright. That would fill me with joy. 

‘’Come on baby!’’ I got frustrated from the silence. She didn’t talk, she didn’t move,she did nothing! Y/N was usually so excited and full of energy but now she was barely there. It made me go crazier than I already was. ‘’You’re strong you can do it! Just wake up

wake up

wake up!’’ I pleaded and clenched my jaw so I wouldn’t let those tears out. Nothing. The only sound from her was the machines. My gut twisted and I felt uneasy. This wasn’t fair..

But now I just looked at her quiet body, cleaned from the blood but covered in bruises and her face had a mask on it to help her breathe. I put a stray of her hair away from her face and then sighed. How could something so bad happen to someone so amazing?

PART 2

loving you was like walking on eggshells. constantly so afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing that i desperately attempted to teach myself not to do or say anything at all - i failed, which only ever led to sleepless nights wondering why i even tried.


having an entirely pleasant talk felt like something of an accomplishment; i had to ask aloud what was different when you didn’t patronize or belittle me in the first 20 minutes of conversation - i couldn’t remember a time when you weren’t constantly degrading.


hearing you tell me i was important to you and seeing you act like you wanted me around surprised me; hearing others say you talked highly of me had me asking them for proof. you always brushed it off, but you should’ve asked yourself why i was so shocked.


i started saying, ‘i’m used to it’ whenever anyone asked how i could deal with your coldness; you insisting, ‘you’re the one i’m nicest to,’ had me sympathizing for the people who weren’t me.


being with you felt more like a chore than a choice; i began to think, ‘why am i still here if she doesn’t even seem to want me around?’ but i stayed because i wanted so badly to believe you loved me.


time after time again you proved to me that you didn’t want me; you convinced me that i wasn’t good enough, that i wasn’t what you were looking for and i never would be.


talking about you to my friends gradually transitioned from adoration to heartache; every heartfelt conversation of your existence turned into a distressed rant - i would constantly think that if our roles were reversed, i would tell my friends to leave you.


eventually, i couldn’t form any other excuse as to why i was still with you other than ‘i would feel lonely if i left.’ but i later came to realize that i felt far lonelier when i stayed.

—  and yet you still ask why I felt so unwanted.
much ado about nothing?

Title: much ado about nothing?
Anime: Yuri!!! on ICE
Pairing: Victor/Yuuri/Victuuri
Rated: M for mature content (sort of??? no nsfw tho lol)
Words: 997
Summary: Yuuri wakes up in the morning and Victor is right beside him?! Not knowing how to handle this, Yuuri pushes Victor out of his bed AND out of his room. But why is everyone acting so weirdy?

Dec 21, 2016

It was a beautiful morning and Yuuri Katsuki felt great. He knew that it had been a long time since he felt well-rested and content due to his sleep deprivation. He felt better than ever, to be precise. It seemed like the birds were chirping more happily and the gentle breeze ruffled the curtains. But something was quiet different. He didn’t know what exactly it was. Maybe…

…the arms that were embracing him tightly…?

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M A R C H    B O T M !

i know i’m quite late at getting to this, but i’ve been wanting to start doing botm’s for a while now so, i decided to go for it anyway! i wanted to try something a little different, and since i know what its like to be a new creator on this site and the feeling when an edit you felt good about doesn’t get too many notes - i wanted to help shout out all the perf bloggers spending their free time making original content for us to enjoy! so, the three categories are:

  • blog of the month
  • creator of the month (gifs, aes, hp, multifandom - everything)
  • writer of the month (fics, headcanons, poetry - everything)

there will be one winner and two runner ups per category each month, and you’ll get a spot on my new ‘botm’ tab which i’ve just added to my page! and some more prizes which i’ll pop under the cut below 💕

R U L E S

  • must be following me
  • maybe check out my edits and the hprarepairnet?
  • reblog this post (likes only count as bookmarks!)
  • closes february 28th
  • there will be one winner and two runner-ups for each category
  • please put your creations/writing tag in the tags
  • not restricted to harry potter/multifandom blogs!

P R I Z E S    B E L O W

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