i felt attractive so i took a selfie

Sneaking Out || Dan Howell

A/N: Another request! yeahy! i didn’t expect this to get so long but it somehow did? I guess I just really liked the idea 

Word Count: 2.1K

POV: Reader


Originally posted by exisentialdan

“Run!” Dan shouted as he came sprinting towards me. He took me by my arm and dragged me along with him. I didn’t know who or what we were running from I just followed my boyfriend’s commands.  

He seemed to be in a real hurry and kept hectically looking back over his shoulder to check if anybody was following us. Luckily the school corridor was empty since most people were in the cafeteria for lunch break.

“Dan?! Why exactly are we doing this again?” shouted at him after we had taken at least 3 turns and ended up in another empty hallway that lead to our school’s gym.

Dan slowed down his pace until we finally came to a halt. I held my left side that hurt every time I gasped for air. As soon as he had caught his breath, Dan started to mischievously grin at me from ear to ear.

“What…?” I asked, shaking my head while smiling at him. I had seen that exact grin before and let me tell you, I already knew that this certainly meant nothing good.

“There might have been a little uhhhh… ‘paint explosion’ in the cafeteria.” Dan explained, searching for the right words to explain his newest prank.

He started laughing loudly at the thought of it.

“You should have seen it” Dan added as he wiped away tears of joy.

“No way! Oh my god, Dan.”

I didn’t know whether I should laugh, be impressed or scold him. So I just giggled and shook my head at him.

Dan was known for being the prankster of our school. Now that he was a senior and knew that he would leave soon anyway, there was nothing that could hold him back. He talked back to his teachers, told his best jokes and even managed to paint everyone in the cafeteria all colours of the rainbow.

“I’m gonna be in so much trouble if they catch me.” Dan said, still with a smirk on his face.

“Well that’s for sure, Mr Howell.”

I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I slowly turned around. It was the deep voice of our headmaster Mr Travis who was approaching us with a stern and angry look on his face.

“Mr Howell, Miss Y/L/N, my office. NOW!”

I shot Dan a nervous look as we followed the elder man to his office and sat down in front of his big desk.

Before Mr Travis could even say something Dan had already opened his mouth.

“It was all me, Y/N had nothing to do with it.” He nearly shouted.

I was a straight A student and I had never been in trouble before so that didn’t sound too farfetched.

Mr Travis eyed us both intensely.

“Well this may be the first time that I actually believe you, Mr Howell.” He said before he turned his head to look at me.

“Miss Y/L/N I’ll have to call your parents but other than that I can let you off with a warning.” The headmaster explained as his facial expression softened a little bit and I felt myself relax.

Dan on the other hand got a few weeks of detention and was lucky that he didn’t get suspended, but he was used to that. He didn’t seem to mind at all, no he was just happy that I wasn’t punished for something I didn’t even do.

But once I got home there was no use in explaining to my parents that I didn’t do anything. All they cared about was that the headmaster called home and that was apparently the worst thing that could have ever happened.

“We didn’t raise you like this, young lady! Do you even know how disappointed I was when I got that call telling me that you got in trouble?”

I opened my mouth to protest but before I could even say something my dad continued, speaking over me with finality in his voice.

“You’re grounded, Miss. 2 weeks, no phone. Understood?”

I stormed up to my room with my head hanging low and slammed the door shut behind me. Well that was it then.

This was how I would have to spend the next two weeks: getting up, going to school, coming home, spending the day alone in my room, no friends, no going out, no phone. And the worst: no dates with Dan, I’d only be able to see him in school and we didn’t even have a lot of classes together since he was a grade above me.

At least I had plenty of time to do my homework now, right?

‘Oh c’mon Y/N, there’s nothing that can make this sound good.’ I thought to myself as I fell down onto my bed with a sigh.  

“I’m so stupid. This is all my fault, I’m so sorry.” Dan apologised and kissed the top of my head as soon as I told him that I was grounded in school the next day. He seemed to be extremely mad at himself.

“I shouldn’t have dragged you into this, baby.” He said with a pout.

“All we did was go for a run together, as far as I know there’s nothing wrong about that.” I riposted and even laughed a little.

“Your parents suck.” Dan muttered underneath his breath but it was still loud enough for me to hear it.

“Hey!” I started to protest but stopped myself mid-sentence. “Yeah.. you’re kinda right.” I admitted quietly, making Dan laugh and throw his arm around me.

A week into being grounded I was desperately waiting for this horror to end. This was so unfair, I missed hanging out with my friends and doing things besides going to school. But my parents wouldn’t let me go no matter how much I defended myself or complained.

Today was Friday, normally I’d be at Dan’s place for a movie night but since I couldn’t leave the house I just decided to go to bed early for once.

It was around 1 am when I heard a slight tapping sound that woke me up. At first I just switched my sleeping position and tried to fall asleep again, but then it happened again and again.

I groaned as I got out of bed and walked towards my window where the noise was coming from. I pushed the curtain out of the way and to my surprise I saw Dan standing in our garden and his black car in our drive way.

The weird noise I heard was actually him throwing little rocks at the glass. I couldn’t help but smile happily as I yanked the window open.

“What are you doing here?!” I whisper-shouted, as he smirked up at me.

“I’m here to rescue you, baby.”  He answered a little bit too loud, considering the fact that my parents were asleep in the room below mine.

“Psst! I don’t want you to wake up mum and dad.” I warned him.

“I almost forgot, sorry..” Dan apologized, scratching the back of his head.

We kept smiling at each other, glad to be able to see each other again. God, did I miss him.

“So are you coming?” Dan asked with a cheeky grin.

“Wait- what?” I stuttered in confusion.

“We’re going on an adventure! You’ve been locked up in your room for way too long now and I miss my amazing girlfriend.”

His words sounded perfect but I was still unsure. If my parents caught us I would be totally screwed. Dan could tell that I was hesitant.

“C’mon! Live a little.” Dan tried his best not to shout.

I nervously bit my lip before I nodded determinately.

“You’re right!” I agreed and quickly threw on a few clothes over my pyjamas.

I really needed to take more risks, I couldn’t just say no to an adventure just because I was a ‘good girl’. There was a whole life out there that was waiting for me to fully live it.

I tiptoed down the stairs to the front door, trying to make as little noise as possible. It was so awfully quiet that even my breathing sounded loud to me.

When I got outside, Dan was already waiting for me in his car. I quickly hopped in and let go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Oh my god, I’m sneaking out.” I gasped and couldn’t help but giggle at my sudden ‘boldness’.

“It’s so nice to see you again. I’m so proud of you, princess.” Dan whispered and winked shortly before he kissed me as a hello.

He started the engine and slowly made his way out of my drive way and onto the road. It was heavenly to spend some alone time with him again.  

“So… where are we going?” I asked him after we had been driving for a while.

“Anywhere and everywhere.”

After about 20 minutes we had reached the centre of the city. There were lights, neon signs, crowds of people and music sounded from a few bars and clubs. The city was still buzzing with live unlike the little street that I lived in. There were still quite a few people out and about, it was a Friday night after all.

Dan and I decided to go for a little sightseeing trip. We drove to all of the famous spots and tourist attractions our own city could offer. It was weird visiting them at night when there were no tourists around but there was something so unique about it that for a few hours it felt like time had stopped.

Dan I took selfies in front of a big fountain, an odd sculpture that was located in a park, a museum that we had never been to, a skyscraper that looked pretty and even in front of the local football club’s stadium.

We giggled like kids each time we hopped out of the car and took our phones out, just to take a really silly picture of ourselves.

Afterwards we just drove through random streets and even though Dan and I grew up in this city, we still discovered so many places that we had never seen before.

“What about some pizza?” Dan suggested with enthusiasm as he spotted a little pizza shop that was still open.

15 minutes later Dan had driven us up a little hill so we had a nice view of the city from above. There were two pizza cartons balanced on my lap and I handed one to my boyfriend as soon as he had turned off the car engine.

The sight was just purely beautiful and I was overwhelmed by all of the city lights.

One of Dan and I’s favourite CD was playing and the pizza tasted delicious.

I couldn’t even remember the last time I had so much fun.

“Thank you for taking me on this adventure, Dan.” I said once we were both full and just enjoying the view together.

“Anything for you, babygirl.” He said and placed a kiss onto my lips.

I automatically started running my fingers through his brown hair as I felt his hands travelling to my hips.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Dan whispered against my lips as he pulled me into him more.

Even though he had told me a million times I still blushed.

I carefully climbed onto his lap as he moved his seat back so we had more space between us and the steering wheel.

Dan’s warm breath fanned my neck as he started to lightly suck on my soft skin.

I slowly traced his chest with my hand earning a deep groan of his once my hands had reached his crotch.

“Backseat?” was all he managed to say while his hands roamed my body and he was already pulling on my shirt, eager to take it off…

Dan was the first one to wake up after we had fallen asleep together.

“Y/N… the sun is rising.” He said, tapping my shoulder.

I stared out of the car window and was amazed by the sight. There were pastel colours everywhere and the sun was a deep orange that coloured the city.

“Wow it’s so pretty” I whispered still lying in Dan’s arms.  

“Well it is, but that’s not what I meant. We need to get you home before your parents are up.”

Suddenly I was fully awake again and my eyes widened in shock. We quickly got dressed and headed back home as fast as possible.

Just to be careful Dan parked on the side of the road a few houses down the street and we walked the rest. As I took as quick glance through our kitchen window I could see that my parents were already up and ate breakfast. My heart sank to my knees. This was it, I was totally screwed.

“Shit, what am I gonna do?” I panicked and looked at Dan for help.

“Well…you’re room has a window, right?”

Friends of Friends (Jooheon) Part 1

Part: 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Title: Friends of Friends

Featuring: Jooheon (monsta x) and you

POV: First person

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Summary: While visiting your best friend Wonho, you find yourself increasingly curious about one member of Monsta X in particular.

Requested by @heon94! I got a little carried away with this one and decided to break it up into multiple parts :)

I stood nervously in front of the door to their apartment, psyching myself up before I knocked. I always felt awkward meeting new people, no matter who it was. The fact that it was Wonho’s good friends and members was increasing my anxiety tenfold.

Keep reading

Starting to assume people who selfie shame may have insecurities of their own...

Little do they know at least for me. A good selfie for me still comes as a surprise.

It takes courage for someone with that type of perspective on self to post a selfie.

Sometimes I even actually start to believe that I just look good.

Then I see a bad angle or a bad photo and I think oh.
That was just a good angle.

I can’t think of any other reason why someone would hate selfies or pictures so much other than that they tried and hated the way the pictures would come out so much that they maybe decided not to take them anymore. One day they maybe said to themselves. “I hate pictures.”

I on the other hand always admired people who posted great photos of themselves. Always felt attracted to good looking people. Maybe it took work to look the way I do now? Maybe I’ve just learned how to take pictures of myself?

I try. I’ll be honest. I try. These pictures don’t just happen out of the blue. At least not always.

Anyways. People who hate selfies or anyone who hates anything. To me when I say (I hate) anything. Just shows me I have something to work on. Something personal.

Do i sound like a arrogant prick? I don’t know? But I do like when a good selfie comes out. I get even more surprised when I post it and other people actually like it. Either that maybe sad. Or the people who hate the photos of themselves. I don’t know.

I can look back at some of the first selfies I started taking and I think they were kinda lame hehe. As time went by I’ve taken so many I try to out do my last one. Pictures get better. I now start to push myself to capture what I see when I look in the mirror. Rather then what I wish for you to see. Or what I wish I looked like. I think With time a good thing that comes from all these picture taking maybe the love for myself. I don’t know? I maybe wrong…

Last night was the first time in a while that I felt genuinely pretty. My best friends had come to visit me and one of them did my eye and eyebrow makeup. It’s so wild how something so little can positively impact your spirits. Usually, I see myself as being “decent”; nothing to write home about nor attractive enough to warrant a second look. My textured and acne prone skin has been one of the greatest antagonists of my life. But last night I saw the pretty Sam I knew once before. It was lovely to feel as beautiful on the outside as I try to be on the inside. I took tons of selfies and I am posting these here in order to remind myself of this feeling when I find myself soaking in my self-loathing and -pity.

Alright, so here’s my timeline

That me. The baby. Them’s my sisters.

Apparently I was really into animal print at one point?

And also dinosaurs. (Still really into dinosaurs, tbh.)

This is me with my short ass hair. My grandma (left) was supposed to be watching me while my mom was getting dressed, and I took the opportunity to chop all my hair off. My mom was pissed.

Little me with my big sister’s again, and my oldest sister’s best friend. Idk why I’m holding her hand in this picture?

I think this was the last time I saw my grandma in person. She has since passed away.

My oldest sister and me. I’m about 7 or 8 here.

Elementary School.

From left to right, sister, sister, me, brother, sister, brother-in-law, cousin. This was when I stopped getting my hair cut.

Middle School. I like how my face pretty much describes my experience.

First time I dyed my hair.

First prom.

Sweet Sixteen.



Prom #2, this one with boyfriend.


I fuCKING MADE A PERSON! Also, credit to winnie-who for that photo edit. I still dig it.

I marry the person that helped me make the other person. I also fucking rock a wedding dress.

Completely unrelated, but look at this sick ass picture my mom got of my brother at my wedding. Fucker didn’t even tell me he was gonna wear that.


Family photo, yay! banned125, I miss your hair.

First time dying my hair an unnatural color! I think my initial observation was “IT’S SO BLUE!”

The day I finally got the nerve to chop all my hair off again. Donated it all.

I start experimenting with gradients.

The rest of these are all gonna be bathroom selfies.

First time experimenting with sfx makeup.

Oh, look, it’s husband man! And my golden sword of adventuring.

Got my lip pierced.

Cut my hair even shorter.

Started dying it some crazy shit.

Finally found the perfect hairstyle.

Oop, I lied, there was the time my mom took me to see Stephen King give writing advice because she knows I’m a writer and I fucking love Stephen King.

Got a new tattoo, and started getting brave with my hair color designs.

First time I felt comfortable taking selfies without a shirt on.

Photobomb by husband man.

First time I ever truly felt attractive (3 days ago).

Me today. Happy Trans Day of Visibility! I’ll see you all next year.

Editing to update

Started growing facial hair.

I’m so proud of that little bit of fuzz, omg

Me today.


I grew up feeling like a very very very ugly duckling in a prominent white town and neighborhoods. I was the token black girl, the fat friend and the bro in the groups. Those were my roles and I never felt attractive because of them. It wasn’t until my senior year of high school did I start feeling some kind of positive beauty for myself and my skin color but I was still a long way from real self love. Fast forward 5 years and i’m at a place where I truly see the beauty in all of me. I’m so happy for this Black Out for the fact that it has made me come to terms with my beauty and confidence in an unexpected way! I felt proud in my skin and my weight as I took the tons of selfies over this past week. Getting dressed up even if I wasn’t going no where, or getting dressed down for no body.I did it for me. No one else. Because right now, I don’t have anyone to love on me and all that romantic ish. And since I only felt attractive in some kind of relationship, it was hard at first. But ya know….I’m going to love me better than anyone else can and I’m going to love me right!