i felt attractive so i took a selfie

Friends of Friends (Jooheon) Part 1

Part: 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Title: Friends of Friends

Featuring: Jooheon (monsta x) and you

POV: First person

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Summary: While visiting your best friend Wonho, you find yourself increasingly curious about one member of Monsta X in particular.

Requested by @heon94! I got a little carried away with this one and decided to break it up into multiple parts :)

I stood nervously in front of the door to their apartment, psyching myself up before I knocked. I always felt awkward meeting new people, no matter who it was. The fact that it was Wonho’s good friends and members was increasing my anxiety tenfold.

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Alright, so here’s my timeline

That me. The baby. Them’s my sisters.

Apparently I was really into animal print at one point?

And also dinosaurs. (Still really into dinosaurs, tbh.)

This is me with my short ass hair. My grandma (left) was supposed to be watching me while my mom was getting dressed, and I took the opportunity to chop all my hair off. My mom was pissed.

Little me with my big sister’s again, and my oldest sister’s best friend. Idk why I’m holding her hand in this picture?

I think this was the last time I saw my grandma in person. She has since passed away.

My oldest sister and me. I’m about 7 or 8 here.

Elementary School.

From left to right, sister, sister, me, brother, sister, brother-in-law, cousin. This was when I stopped getting my hair cut.

Middle School. I like how my face pretty much describes my experience.

First time I dyed my hair.

First prom.

Sweet Sixteen.



Prom #2, this one with boyfriend.


I fuCKING MADE A PERSON! Also, credit to winnie-who for that photo edit. I still dig it.

I marry the person that helped me make the other person. I also fucking rock a wedding dress.

Completely unrelated, but look at this sick ass picture my mom got of my brother at my wedding. Fucker didn’t even tell me he was gonna wear that.


Family photo, yay! banned125, I miss your hair.

First time dying my hair an unnatural color! I think my initial observation was “IT’S SO BLUE!”

The day I finally got the nerve to chop all my hair off again. Donated it all.

I start experimenting with gradients.

The rest of these are all gonna be bathroom selfies.

First time experimenting with sfx makeup.

Oh, look, it’s husband man! And my golden sword of adventuring.

Got my lip pierced.

Cut my hair even shorter.

Started dying it some crazy shit.

Finally found the perfect hairstyle.

Oop, I lied, there was the time my mom took me to see Stephen King give writing advice because she knows I’m a writer and I fucking love Stephen King.

Got a new tattoo, and started getting brave with my hair color designs.

First time I felt comfortable taking selfies without a shirt on.

Photobomb by husband man.

First time I ever truly felt attractive (3 days ago).

Me today. Happy Trans Day of Visibility! I’ll see you all next year.

Editing to update

Started growing facial hair.

I’m so proud of that little bit of fuzz, omg

Me today.


I grew up feeling like a very very very ugly duckling in a prominent white town and neighborhoods. I was the token black girl, the fat friend and the bro in the groups. Those were my roles and I never felt attractive because of them. It wasn’t until my senior year of high school did I start feeling some kind of positive beauty for myself and my skin color but I was still a long way from real self love. Fast forward 5 years and i’m at a place where I truly see the beauty in all of me. I’m so happy for this Black Out for the fact that it has made me come to terms with my beauty and confidence in an unexpected way! I felt proud in my skin and my weight as I took the tons of selfies over this past week. Getting dressed up even if I wasn’t going no where, or getting dressed down for no body.I did it for me. No one else. Because right now, I don’t have anyone to love on me and all that romantic ish. And since I only felt attractive in some kind of relationship, it was hard at first. But ya know….I’m going to love me better than anyone else can and I’m going to love me right!