“What I hate the most...”
Pairing: Steve x Reader
Featuring: the Avengers
Warning: angst, fights, alcohol and swearing.
Request: requested by Anonymous:
“Can i pls request a steve rogers/avenger!reader where he fell out of love with reader as he currently is in love with someone else so he broke up with her? the avengers had no idea what to do, cant exactly side with one of u as ur both avengers. Upset n drunk, during one of the stark party, reader make a scene as she watch him dancing with the other girl. Left afterward, not in her right mind, one of the avengers goes after her to take care of her. Which one is up to u. Thanks.”
Notes: so it had been ages since I wrote something with the Avengers and I still have some requests about them to do so here it goes! I want to say sorry for taking so long really but I hope you like it!
You couldn’t believe this was happening. Your relationship seemed perfect. You loved Steve and he acted like he loved you. Apparently, that was it. An act. You didn’t even know how this happened. One day you were planning your next holidays and the next one he was breaking up with you claiming he loved someone else.
“Are you serious?” You asked him as he broke the news to you.
“I’m really sorry (Y/N), I never meant to hurt you, I swear. It just…happened” he said looking down at you with a worried look on his face.
“Have you…been with her?” You asked in a whisper.
He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he looked down, not being able to look into your eyes any longer, feeling guilty for what he had done. But he couldn’t keep on doing this. He knew it would break your heart, which you didn’t deserve, but you didn’t deserve to be cheated on either. So he had to be honest with you and with himself.
“You have” you laughed sadly and looked away, tears coming up to your eyes.
“I’m sorry” he said again.
“If it wasn’t because of your fucking serum I swear I would take your eyes off and kill you Steve” you said looking at him with cold eyes, like you had never looked at him before. “I would throw you out of the window, down the tower and I wouldn’t even be sorry for your death” you added.
You knew those were empty words. It didn’t matter how much he hurt you, you knew you would never be able to do such things to him. You had been training by Natasha so you knew you could be lethal but not to him. Not to Steve Rogers, not even after he broke your heart.
“(Y/N)…” he said taking a step towards you but you took another one back.
“Don’t” you said. “Don’t ever say my name again, Rogers. Don’t ever look at me or…” you sighed and looked down. “I hate you” you whispered before turning around to leave the room.
You didn’t expect to see Tony and Natasha right there, listening to every word you said but you didn’t even care. You walked by their side and went to your room, locking it before punching the wall as hard as you could until your hand hurt.
“That was harsh” Tony told Steve downstairs.
“It had to be done” Steve said taking a seat on the couch with his head in his hands. “I couldn’t keep on lying to her. She didn’t deserve it” he added.
“No, she didn’t” Natasha said with a sigh. “But it’s done. There’s nothing you can do now”, she added.
“I know” Steve gulped.
The first few days after the break up you barely left the room. You just did it to go to the meetings and to take care of the Avengers stuff that you had to do, but once you were finished, you locked yourself in your room. The team tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t talk to anyone so they decided to give you time to heal.
Eventually, you finally came out of your room and joined the team daily activities. The team was happy to see you talking and eating like a normal person again but everything changed when you and Steve crossed paths. He tried to talk to you but all you did was replying with sarcasm or mean remarks. Nobody expected you to be over what happened but your anger wasn’t expected either.
“What do we do?” Wanda asked in a meeting. You were supposed to go to France to help the government with some attacks that had been going on but you didn’t know how to proceed.
“We need someone on the inside to make them believe we can be trusted and they let us now their intentions” Steve said.
“Sounds good” Tony said nodding. “A mole is always helpful but who’s going to do it? These guys are dangerous” he added.
“Rogers should do it. He’s good going behind people back” you said. Steve looked at you as the awkward silent appeared.
“Will you stop?” He said, obviously having enough of your daily comments.
“Should I?” You said looking at him.
“Yes, you should be professional” he replied.
“Sorry, Mr Perfect, I didn’t mean to take your place and hurt your feelings” you said sarcastic.
Everyone else was quiet, knowing they couldn’t exactly side with any one of you since it would be even worse for the situation. It was something you two had to solve by yourselves.
“Steve can’t do it. His face is too known” Bruce finally said to end the fight before it heated up. “What about Wanda?” He asked.
“I can do it” she shrugged.
“It’s settled then” Tony smiled.
“Good” you said getting up and leaving the room.
The mission was successful as usual even though the communication was a bit harder this time. By the time you got to New York again things didn’t change, not even a bit. The fights between you and Steve were stronger and stronger every day. Eventually, the situation calmed down. You looked like you were forgetting about everything or at least letting it go which everyone in the team thanked you for. Still, you wouldn’t even look at Steve.
“Team!” Tony said coming into the living room. “Party tonight!”
“What?” Peter asked.
“What for?” Clint asked.
“My birthday of course” Tony smirked.
“Your birthday was two months ago” You laughed. “And the party was huge. I think Clint is still hangover about it” you smirked.
“Shut up” Clint laughed.
“So what? I want to celebrate again” Tony shrugged.
“Are you just looking for an excuse to throw a party?” Bruce asked raining an eyebrow.
“Maybe” he shrugged. “You’re all invited of course and you can bring any friends you want” he added before leaving the room. Just Tony.
None of you refused to go. It had been ages since you had a night of fun and you all needed the distraction, the music and the booze. So at 6 p.m. Natasha, Wanda and you locked yourselves in Wanda’s room to get ready. None of you were seeing anyone so you decided you would be sexiest chicks in the room which, thanks to Nat’s outfits, it was an easy task.
“Isn’t it too slutty?” Wanda asked looking in the mirror.
“Sweetie, it’s been months since the last time you got laid. You need slutty” Natasha teased her making you laugh.
“Fuck you” Wanda laughed as well.
Even though you had started to get ready with plenty of time, you still were late to the party as usual but you didn’t care. No one would notice. The moment you stepped into the party you smiled looking around. Tony did know how to throw a party. Immediately, the three of you headed towards the bar to order some drinks and shots.
“Bucky you came!” You exclaimed surprise. The Winter Solder was still adjusting to this new life so he didn’t came to many parties.
“It was about time” he shrugged with a small smile.
“I’m glad you came” you said kissing his cheek.
You had always liked this guy. He was nice even when he didn’t talk much. You couldn’t blame him about it after the hell he had gone through but there he was, getting better day by day. On the other hand, it surprised you not to see Steve. He barely left his friend’s side, being the protector he was, so it surprised you that he wasn’t around.
“(Y/N)!” Natasha called your name. When you looked at her, you saw she was handing you a shot so you took it and poured down your throat. “Atta girl” she laughed.
“I needed that” you laughed as well.
The party went on and on for hours and Steve was still nowhere to be seen which it kind of worried you. Would he be okay? Your doubts disappeared when you were walking around the room and saw him walking down from his room with a blond girl hanging on his arm. Shannon.
He looked around just then and your eyes met his. It was her. You didn’t know until now but it was crystal clear. She was the girl that made your life miserable. With a gulp, you turned around and went to the bar once again. There, you saw Tony with a shot on his hand. Before he could drink, you took it from his hand and poured it down your throat before ordering another one.
“Wow, slow down” Tony laughed but you didn’t listen. In less than a minute you had two more shots. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Tony asked now worried.
“Nothing” you snapped as you ordered another one.
“(Y/N) slow down” Tony said taking the shot from your hand.
“Stark if you don’t give me that I swear I’ll break your arm here and now” you threatened him. He frowned looking at you before sighing and giving it back, watching you drinking it. “I saw her” you finally said. “Steve’s new girlfriend” you added.
“He brought her?” Tony asked and you nodded. “Bastard…” Tony mumbled looking around. It didn’t surprise him but he still couldn’t believe Steve would do that. When he looked back at you, you had another shot in your hand. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“You’re no one to tell me to stop, playboy” you snapped before ordering a drink and walking away with it. Tony watched you as he sighed worried.
“This is not good” he sighed.
You had never drank so much in one night but you couldn’t stop. It hurt so much seeing him dancing with her. You really thought you were over him? Stupid, you told yourself as you ordered what could be your 8th drink of the night. You knew you were completely drunk, you couldn’t even see properly, everything was a blur and the room was spinning. So what?
As you ordered another one, you looked to your side just to see Steve and that girl talking a few feet away from you. It had to be a joke.
“Really?” You said loud enough for them to hear you. Both of them, turned to look at you.
“Fuck…” Steve mouthed as he saw how drunk you were. “What are you doing?” He asked coming closer to you to stop you from drinking.
“No. What are you doing?” You asked pocking his chest with your finger. “Bringing her here? How you dare?” You frowned.
“You’re drunk” he sighed.
“Like you cared” you laughed.
“I do” he frowned.
“You don’t!” You snapped. “You never did! Otherwise you wouldn’t have cheated on me with that Barbie! All those nights saying how much you loved me… shame of you!” You screamed. Many people was now looking at the scene but you weren’t aware of it. “You’re a liar Steve Rogers. People may see you as a hero but you’re a bastard with no respect for others. Good luck for you Blondie!” You told Shannon. “I hate you Steve” you told him. “And you know what I hate the most? That I still love you” you said before walking away from him.
Everyone had watched the scene but no one said anything. The party just went on except for you. All you did was go to your room, falling a couple of times on the stairs but you finally managed to get to your floor, not even noticing your cheeks were full of tears. You were so focused on getting to your room that you didn’t even notice Bucky following you.
“Hey” he said when you leaned against a wall, not being able to walk anymore.
“Oh! The Winter Soldier” you drunkenly smiled at him. “Always a pleasure” you winked.
“You’re wasted” he said. Before you could say anything, he wrapped his arm under your legs and picked you up, carrying you to your room. “Why did you do this?” He asked when he placed you in your bed.
“Because I’m pathetic” you sadly laughed before you broke into tears. “Because he came with her, he cheated on me and he’s been happy ever since while I’ve been miserable and now he dares to come here and…” you closed your eyes and shook your head which was an awful idea. Everything was spinning. “I need to throw up” you mumbled.
“You need a cold shower” Bucky said picking you up again and quickly going to the bathroom. When he put you on the floor to start the shower, you leaned down on the toilet and started throwing up. “Shit!” He exclaimed, leaning down by your side, putting your hair away and rubbing your back. “It’s okay” he whispered.
“It’s not” you whispered shaking your head.
Bucky didn’t really know what to say to make you feel better. Feelings weren’t his thing so he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. When you had calmed down a little, you got up and let him help you out of the dress you were wearing.
“I’ll be outside, call my name if you need anything alright?” He said. You nodded and walked into the shower as he left the bathroom.
Bucky sat on the bed, looking at the bathroom door with a worried expression. He had been watching you the whole night, drink after drink, seeing you get wasted since the moment you saw Steve with Shannon. How could Steve bring her? Yes, Shannon was really nice but you weren’t ready for the image of the two of them together. When Bucky saw you talking to him, he knew it wasn’t going to end well so when he saw you walking up the stairs he didn’t hesitate to follow, leaving you alone not being an option.
After fifteen minutes the bathroom door opened and you came out, looking sad and tired, with puffy eyes and sadness in your eyes. It broke his heart. You had always been so nice to him since he arrived, even when Tony didn’t even want to look at him you had been there for him, supporting him all the time. It made him want to protect you, make you happy, especially after Steve broke your heart.
He looked at you while you put your pj on and sat on the bed next to him, with a lost expression on your face. Finally, you sighed and looked at Bucky.
“I’m pathetic right?” You asked, much sober now.
“No” he said immediately, grabbing your hand. “You’re hurt. That’s all” he shrugged. “I guess it will take time for you to heal” he added rubbing your hand.
“When I saw them…” you shook your head looking down.
“He shouldn’t have brought her” Bucky said. “Everyone knows you’re still not over him. It was disrespectful” he added. You frowned a little and looked at him.
“Isn’t he your best friend?” You asked.
“He is” Bucky shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I have to agree with him on everything. Being Captain America doesn’t make him perfect, you know?” You smiled a little and looked down at your hands together.
“Thank you Bucks” you finally said. He shrugged again with a small smile.
“It’s okay, I just want you to be okay” he said looking at you.
You looked at him into the eyes to find a warmth you hadn’t seen in a long time. It made you feel protected, like home, good. Maybe you weren’t happy at the moment, you actually had never felt worse, but somehow you knew that you would be able to feel happy again as long as Bucky was there.