i fell in love with her after watching this scene

“What I hate the most...”

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Featuring: the Avengers

Words: 2618

Warning: angst, fights, alcohol and swearing.

Tags: @vashanatasha

Request: requested by Anonymous:

“Can i pls request a steve rogers/avenger!reader where he fell out of love with reader as he currently is in love with someone else so he broke up with her? the avengers had no idea what to do, cant exactly side with one of u as ur both avengers. Upset n drunk, during one of the stark party, reader make a scene as she watch him dancing with the other girl. Left afterward, not in her right mind, one of the avengers goes after her to take care of her. Which one is up to u. Thanks.”

Notes: so it had been ages since I wrote something with the Avengers and I still have some requests about them to do so here it goes! I want to say sorry for taking so long really but I hope you like it!

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain


You couldn’t believe this was happening. Your relationship seemed perfect. You loved Steve and he acted like he loved you. Apparently, that was it. An act. You didn’t even know how this happened. One day you were planning your next holidays and the next one he was breaking up with you claiming he loved someone else.

“Are you serious?” You asked him as he broke the news to you.

“I’m really sorry (Y/N), I never meant to hurt you, I swear. It just…happened” he said looking down at you with a worried look on his face.

“Have you…been with her?” You asked in a whisper.

He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he looked down, not being able to look into your eyes any longer, feeling guilty for what he had done. But he couldn’t keep on doing this. He knew it would break your heart, which you didn’t deserve, but you didn’t deserve to be cheated on either. So he had to be honest with you and with himself.

“You have” you laughed sadly and looked away, tears coming up to your eyes.

“I’m sorry” he said again.

“If it wasn’t because of your fucking serum I swear I would take your eyes off and kill you Steve” you said looking at him with cold eyes, like you had never looked at him before. “I would throw you out of the window, down the tower and I wouldn’t even be sorry for your death” you added.

You knew those were empty words. It didn’t matter how much he hurt you, you knew you would never be able to do such things to him. You had been training by Natasha so you knew you could be lethal but not to him. Not to Steve Rogers, not even after he broke your heart.

“(Y/N)…” he said taking a step towards you but you took another one back.

“Don’t” you said. “Don’t ever say my name again, Rogers. Don’t ever look at me or…” you sighed and looked down. “I hate you” you whispered before turning around to leave the room.

You didn’t expect to see Tony and Natasha right there, listening to every word you said but you didn’t even care. You walked by their side and went to your room, locking it before punching the wall as hard as you could until your hand hurt.

“That was harsh” Tony told Steve downstairs.

“It had to be done” Steve said taking a seat on the couch with his head in his hands. “I couldn’t keep on lying to her. She didn’t deserve it” he added.

“No, she didn’t” Natasha said with a sigh. “But it’s done. There’s nothing you can do now”, she added.

“I know” Steve gulped.

The first few days after the break up you barely left the room. You just did it to go to the meetings and to take care of the Avengers stuff that you had to do, but once you were finished, you locked yourself in your room. The team tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t talk to anyone so they decided to give you time to heal.

Eventually, you finally came out of your room and joined the team daily activities. The team was happy to see you talking and eating like a normal person again but everything changed when you and Steve crossed paths. He tried to talk to you but all you did was replying with sarcasm or mean remarks. Nobody expected you to be over what happened but your anger wasn’t expected either.

“What do we do?” Wanda asked in a meeting. You were supposed to go to France to help the government with some attacks that had been going on but you didn’t know how to proceed.

“We need someone on the inside to make them believe we can be trusted and they let us now their intentions” Steve said.

“Sounds good” Tony said nodding. “A mole is always helpful but who’s going to do it? These guys are dangerous” he added.

“Rogers should do it. He’s good going behind people back” you said. Steve looked at you as the awkward silent appeared.  

“Will you stop?” He said, obviously having enough of your daily comments.

“Should I?” You said looking at him.

“Yes, you should be professional” he replied.

“Sorry, Mr Perfect, I didn’t mean to take your place and hurt your feelings” you said sarcastic.

Everyone else was quiet, knowing they couldn’t exactly side with any one of you since it would be even worse for the situation. It was something you two had to solve by yourselves.

“Steve can’t do it. His face is too known” Bruce finally said to end the fight before it heated up. “What about Wanda?” He asked.

“I can do it” she shrugged.

“It’s settled then” Tony smiled.

“Good” you said getting up and leaving the room.

The mission was successful as usual even though the communication was a bit harder this time. By the time you got to New York again things didn’t change, not even a bit. The fights between you and Steve were stronger and stronger every day. Eventually, the situation calmed down. You looked like you were forgetting about everything or at least letting it go which everyone in the team thanked you for. Still, you wouldn’t even look at Steve.

“Team!” Tony said coming into the living room. “Party tonight!”

“What?” Peter asked.

“What for?” Clint asked.

“My birthday of course” Tony smirked.

“Your birthday was two months ago” You laughed. “And the party was huge. I think Clint is still hangover about it” you smirked.

“Shut up” Clint laughed.

“So what? I want to celebrate again” Tony shrugged.

“Are you just looking for an excuse to throw a party?” Bruce asked raining an eyebrow.

“Maybe” he shrugged. “You’re all invited of course and you can bring any friends you want” he added before leaving the room. Just Tony.

None of you refused to go. It had been ages since you had a night of fun and you all needed the distraction, the music and the booze. So at 6 p.m. Natasha, Wanda and you locked yourselves in Wanda’s room to get ready. None of you were seeing anyone so you decided you would be sexiest chicks in the room which, thanks to Nat’s outfits, it was an easy task.

“Isn’t it too slutty?” Wanda asked looking in the mirror.

“Sweetie, it’s been months since the last time you got laid. You need slutty” Natasha teased her making you laugh.

“Fuck you” Wanda laughed as well.

Even though you had started to get ready with plenty of time, you still were late to the party as usual but you didn’t care. No one would notice. The moment you stepped into the party you smiled looking around. Tony did know how to throw a party. Immediately, the three of you headed towards the bar to order some drinks and shots.

“Bucky you came!” You exclaimed surprise. The Winter Solder was still adjusting to this new life so he didn’t came to many parties.

“It was about time” he shrugged with a small smile.

“I’m glad you came” you said kissing his cheek.

You had always liked this guy. He was nice even when he didn’t talk much. You couldn’t blame him about it after the hell he had gone through but there he was, getting better day by day. On the other hand, it surprised you not to see Steve. He barely left his friend’s side, being the protector he was, so it surprised you that he wasn’t around.

“(Y/N)!” Natasha called your name. When you looked at her, you saw she was handing you a shot so you took it and poured down your throat. “Atta girl” she laughed.

“I needed that” you laughed as well.

The party went on and on for hours and Steve was still nowhere to be seen which it kind of worried you. Would he be okay? Your doubts disappeared when you were walking around the room and saw him walking down from his room with a blond girl hanging on his arm. Shannon.

He looked around just then and your eyes met his. It was her. You didn’t know until now but it was crystal clear. She was the girl that made your life miserable. With a gulp, you turned around and went to the bar once again. There, you saw Tony with a shot on his hand. Before he could drink, you took it from his hand and poured it down your throat before ordering another one.

“Wow, slow down” Tony laughed but you didn’t listen. In less than a minute you had two more shots. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Tony asked now worried.

“Nothing” you snapped as you ordered another one.

“(Y/N) slow down” Tony said taking the shot from your hand.

“Stark if you don’t give me that I swear I’ll break your arm here and now” you threatened him. He frowned looking at you before sighing and giving it back, watching you drinking it. “I saw her” you finally said. “Steve’s new girlfriend” you added.

“He brought her?” Tony asked and you nodded. “Bastard…” Tony mumbled looking around. It didn’t surprise him but he still couldn’t believe Steve would do that. When he looked back at you, you had another shot in your hand. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“You’re no one to tell me to stop, playboy” you snapped before ordering a drink and walking away with it. Tony watched you as he sighed worried.

“This is not good” he sighed.

You had never drank so much in one night but you couldn’t stop. It hurt so much seeing him dancing with her. You really thought you were over him? Stupid, you told yourself as you ordered what could be your 8th drink of the night. You knew you were completely drunk, you couldn’t even see properly, everything was a blur and the room was spinning. So what?

As you ordered another one, you looked to your side just to see Steve and that girl talking a few feet away from you. It had to be a joke.

“Really?” You said loud enough for them to hear you. Both of them, turned to look at you.

“Fuck…” Steve mouthed as he saw how drunk you were. “What are you doing?” He asked coming closer to you to stop you from drinking.

“No. What are you doing?” You asked pocking his chest with your finger. “Bringing her here? How you dare?” You frowned.

“You’re drunk” he sighed.

“Like you cared” you laughed.

“I do” he frowned.

“You don’t!” You snapped. “You never did! Otherwise you wouldn’t have cheated on me with that Barbie! All those nights saying how much you loved me… shame of you!” You screamed. Many people was now looking at the scene but you weren’t aware of it. “You’re a liar Steve Rogers. People may see you as a hero but you’re a bastard with no respect for others. Good luck for you Blondie!” You told Shannon. “I hate you Steve” you told him. “And you know what I hate the most? That I still love you” you said before walking away from him.

Everyone had watched the scene but no one said anything. The party just went on except for you. All you did was go to your room, falling a couple of times on the stairs but you finally managed to get to your floor, not even noticing your cheeks were full of tears. You were so focused on getting to your room that you didn’t even notice Bucky following you.

“Hey” he said when you leaned against a wall, not being able to walk anymore.

“Oh! The Winter Soldier” you drunkenly smiled at him. “Always a pleasure” you winked.

“You’re wasted” he said. Before you could say anything, he wrapped his arm under your legs and picked you up, carrying you to your room. “Why did you do this?” He asked when he placed you in your bed.

“Because I’m pathetic” you sadly laughed before you broke into tears. “Because he came with her, he cheated on me and he’s been happy ever since while I’ve been miserable and now he dares to come here and…” you closed your eyes and shook your head which was an awful idea. Everything was spinning. “I need to throw up” you mumbled.

“You need a cold shower” Bucky said picking you up again and quickly going to the bathroom. When he put you on the floor to start the shower, you leaned down on the toilet and started throwing up. “Shit!” He exclaimed, leaning down by your side, putting your hair away and rubbing your back. “It’s okay” he whispered.

“It’s not” you whispered shaking your head.

Bucky didn’t really know what to say to make you feel better. Feelings weren’t his thing so he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. When you had calmed down a little, you got up and let him help you out of the dress you were wearing.

“I’ll be outside, call my name if you need anything alright?” He said. You nodded and walked into the shower as he left the bathroom.

Bucky sat on the bed, looking at the bathroom door with a worried expression. He had been watching you the whole night, drink after drink, seeing you get wasted since the moment you saw Steve with Shannon. How could Steve bring her? Yes, Shannon was really nice but you weren’t ready for the image of the two of them together. When Bucky saw you talking to him, he knew it wasn’t going to end well so when he saw you walking up the stairs he didn’t hesitate to follow, leaving you alone not being an option.

After fifteen minutes the bathroom door opened and you came out, looking sad and tired, with puffy eyes and sadness in your eyes. It broke his heart. You had always been so nice to him since he arrived, even when Tony didn’t even want to look at him you had been there for him, supporting him all the time. It made him want to protect you, make you happy, especially after Steve broke your heart.

He looked at you while you put your pj on and sat on the bed next to him, with a lost expression on your face. Finally, you sighed and looked at Bucky.

“I’m pathetic right?” You asked, much sober now.

“No” he said immediately, grabbing your hand. “You’re hurt. That’s all” he shrugged. “I guess it will take time for you to heal” he added rubbing your hand.

“When I saw them…” you shook your head looking down.

“He shouldn’t have brought her” Bucky said. “Everyone knows you’re still not over him. It was disrespectful” he added. You frowned a little and looked at him.

“Isn’t he your best friend?” You asked.

“He is” Bucky shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I have to agree with him on everything. Being Captain America doesn’t make him perfect, you know?” You smiled a little and looked down at your hands together.

“Thank you Bucks” you finally said. He shrugged again with a small smile.

“It’s okay, I just want you to be okay” he said looking at you.

You looked at him into the eyes to find a warmth you hadn’t seen in a long time. It made you feel protected, like home, good. Maybe you weren’t happy at the moment, you actually had never felt worse, but somehow you knew that you would be able to feel happy again as long as Bucky was there.

So I’ve been on this kick of watching really bad movies, so I thought, why not try to watch some klaroline scenes? It’d been so long, and girls are still so obsessed with it, that I wanted to check it out again and see if there was an appeal there that had gone unnoticed by me. After all, it couldn’t be as bad as I remember. I was right; It was worse.

The dialogue is downright godawful. I’ve never seen a romance spell out what it is as much as klaroline. Klaus’ character is verbally pitching the idea to us at every turn, literally listing off the reasons Caroline fits the role, “you’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re full of light” And how exactly does he know any of this? Was this during the imaginary time he spent falling in love with her that the writers didn’t bother to show for…reasons? But I’ll get to that later. The writers, when it came to klaroline, didn’t believe in subtly one bit. “So you’ve never felt the attraction that comes when someone whose capable of doing terrible things for some reason cares only about you.” Holy shit, captain obvious is writing this story! Instead of showing us this angle, the writers take the lazy way out and have Klaus tell the audience that this is what the story is, because even the writers realize they’re failing. How bad can this get?

Worse apparently.

Let’s look at all the iconic romantic scenes they have. There’s him giving her his blood–after he bit her. There’s him saving her life–after he stabbed her and bit her on the neck and watched her slowly die. There’s that cringe inducing speech about the hummingbird that only shippers thought wasn’t hilarious. Oh and there’s their sex scene which was a quick hump against a tree that lacked any kind of romance. And here’s a glaring fact that’s always bothered me: Klaroline literally has no beginning. To this day I’m sure the writers have no idea when Klaus spontaneously fell for Caroline. Most love stories have a beginning and an end, and Klaroline only has an ending. 

I don’t even need to get into how gross and abusive the relationship is because the story speaks for itself, so I’ll get into the overall structure. The progression of the relationship was terrible. Nothing about it felt natural. One episode they’re screaming at each other (big shock), and then the next episode it’s like it never happened. Like the writers literally couldn’t remember where they had left off and were too lazy to go back and watch. And boy were their scenes ever repetitive. Flirt, rejection, fight, roll credits annnnd reuse. Every scene is Klaus rambling about himself and not giving a shit about what Caroline is into.

But let’s get to probably the worst part of this story: the character assassination. Caroline and Klaus were my favorite characters before their first big scene. You would think finding out your fave male and fave female were getting together would be awesome, but no, no, no. In order for Klaroline to happen, their characters had to be stripped of everything that made them worth watching. Caroline, who had finally come into her own and turned into a brave, strong woman, was now shrieking in every episode and obsessing over the men in her life (and her awesome relationship with Stefan vanished), and let’s not forget the prom dress scenario. What happened to a wounded Care telling Stefan, “I’m not girly little Caroline anymore.” And then there’s Klaus…dear God, Klaus. Remember the villain who showed up at the end of season 2, who had followers, who had Katherine running for hundreds of years? Wasn’t that fun? Instead let’s have him talk about hummingbirds, paint ponies and snowflakes, follow around a seventeen year old girl like a lost puppy dog, get outwitted by newbie vamps, and come across like a generally pathetic stalker who shows love by shoving a lamp in your gut. Now doesn’t that sound like a great character! I will say, these characters have made a recovery, but them being on separate shows had to happen in order to achieve this. Not a coincidence.

In short: Klaroline is insulting to my brain as a human being, adult, woman, and a writer. It’s the kind of storyline you expect a teenage girl to be writing in her notepad that never sees the light of day. I’m just sincerely relieved to know it’s dead.

justshowmethegays  asked:

Promt: Lucy comes back to town and hangs out with Alex a lot and Maggie gets super jealous. I just need the angst😂

A week long mandatory training seminar in Gotham had only been made worse by flight delays. At one point, Maggie had braced herself for another day of not seeing Alex. Thankfully, things worked out and she was on the first available flight back to National City and, desperate to see her girl, she headed straight to the gaylien bar, suitcase still in tow.

Her eyes instantly landed on Alex as she entered, then fell on the beautiful brunette she was chatting to. The girl was small, about her height, but her sleeveless top showed arms that could pack a punch. She was smiling widely as she laughed, as Alex laughed too, both oblivious to Maggie’s arrival. Why wouldn’t they be? They were in their own little world, laughing, standing so close to each other that their hips were practically grazing each other’s and the girl, whoever she was, kept playfully slapping Alex’s arm.

It hurt to watch. This girl, whoever the hell she was, had had more physical contact with Alex in five seconds than Maggie had had in days.

Alex looked up as she heard the suitcase being rolled over. ‘Hey b–.’

Maggie cut her off, cupping her cheeks and going in for long, long kiss.

‘Whoa, hey, hi, I missed you too,’ Alex said breathlessly as she finally pulled away, smiling, her hands slipping down from Maggie’s elbows, to her waist.

‘Missed you more,’ Maggie grinned, kissing Alex again, unable to help herself, especially after being deprived for the past couple of days. FaceTime was great but it only offered so much. It didn’t offer the warmth that always radiated from Alex, or the sweet scent of Alex’s perfume or how soft and tenderly Alex always held her. That was what she had missed the most. That was what she craved the most and Maggie couldn’t help herself as she wrapped her arms around Alex and nestled her head into her girlfriend’s neck.

‘Yikes, you two really need to get a room,’ the mystery brunette remarked, the comment infuriating Maggie even more. They needed to get a room? After how she was flirting with Alex? ‘I mean Kara told me all about you two, but this is a whole other level.’

Wait, Kara?

Alex laughed and slipped her arm around Maggie’s shoulders, manoeuvring her to her side. ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever I don’t care. Maggie, this is Lucy, we used to work together.’

Oh. Lucy.

Lucy extended a hand. ‘Nice to finally meet you, Maggie. I heard a lot about you.’

‘All good I hope?’ Maggie asked with a nervous laugh as she shook the woman’s hand, hoping to God that her impromptu show of affection just mere seconds ago came off as cute, rather than possessive.

‘Exceptionally good. I was starting to think that you couldn’t possibly be real. But nope, here you are. Real and just as gorgeous as I’ve been told.’

Gorgeous. The word made Maggie blush and look down awkwardly at the floor for a split second, flustered and not quite sure how to respond, both at Lucy’s compliment and at how Alex had obviously been gushing about her behind her back.

‘Watch your mouth, Lane. That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about,’ Alex remarked.

‘C’mon, Danvers. Look at her. I thought you were exaggerating when you described her but, evidently, I was wrong.’

‘Sorry, Maggie, I think I introduced her wrong. This is Lucy, the world’s biggest flirt.’

‘She notices that now; you know after all that time I spent flirting with her. So tell me, Maggie. What’s your secret? How did you land Alex Danvers?’

‘She rocked up to my crime scene and fell in love with me.’

Alex pouted. ‘My crime scene. It was my crime scene.’

Lucy looked at Maggie for clarification. ‘Were you there first?’


‘And you had jurisdiction?’

‘My precinct covers the airport, yes.’

Lucy shrugged and patted Alex’s arm sympathetically. ‘Sorry Danvers. I’d say it was her crime scene.’

‘I liked it better when you weren’t in town,’ Alex muttered.

send me sanvers prompts`

Another Take

Request: Hi! It’s me again! I love the both parts of the Premier. Could you write another Tom Holland x Reader were they work together in Civil War movie (they was a couple in the movie) and she’s acting weird at the end of filming and Elizabeth or Scarlett ask why and the reader says that she’s in love with Tom, and he hear they talking (actually the cast prepare the moment because they you he likes her too) and prepare something special to her (maybe smut in the end? Or really fluffy?)

Civil War spoilers.

More followers=more content.

Thanks for the support!

In third person


(Y/N) had just shown up to the set of her brand new movie, Captain America: Civil War.

She was really nervous because she had just realized she was one-hundred percent in love with her co-star.

It didn’t help that they were lovers in the movie because she would take every sweet line and scripted moment two seriously. The directors thought it was just good acting but she really did have feelings for Tom Holland, the boy who plays spiderman and the boy who stole her heart.

“Hey (Y/N),” A familiar voice said.

"Hey!,” She replied all to enthusiastic.

And that voice so happened to be Tom’s.

You ready for our big scene today,” He asked.

"W-What scene?” She replied nervously.

"Our sex scene, did you forget?” He informed.

Her eyes grew wide, she was in no shape to preform a sex scene. Just the thought of heavily making out with the man of her dreams was to much because she knew it wouldn’t mean anything.

"N-No I’m good, just need some coffee,” She replied.

"Ok, well I’ll see you later,” He said.

When he left she buried her head in her hands hoping the ground would swallow her whole.

"What am I going to do?” She asked herself.

What she wasn’t aware of was that Scarlett and Elizabeth had been watching the whole scene and realized that there friend was in a dire situation.

"How come you didn’t tell us?” Scarlett asked.

(Y/N)’s head shot up finding the source of the voice. She gave her friends a sympathetic look.

"We could’ve helped you,” Elizabeth chimed in.

"I know,” (Y/N) replied.

"Then why,” They asked again.

"It’s embarrassing, what was I supposed to tell you that I fell in love with Tom, my co-worker?” She justified.

But in the other room Tom’s hand had been stuck on the door knob after hearing what he heard.

He left his script on the table when he had been talking to (Y/N) and when he was on his way to get it back he over heard something he shouldn’t have.

This couldn’t be true he thought, there was no way she was in love with him she was way to perfect.

Tom thought back to (Y/N)’s recent photo shoot where she had been stark naked rolling around in a bed barely covered by the blankets. Nobody that hot could want him, or could they?

She didn’t know this but Tom felt the same way if not more, after there first kiss on set he knew as soon as they finished shooting he’d make his move.

But now it was different, she loved him too.

After (Y/N) had left he approached the two women with a plan.

A plan to get them together.


It was time the costume designer had given (Y/N) her bra and pantie set for her scene and she still wasn’t ready.

She sprayed perfume and made sure her makeup was good then she left her trailer in her robe ready to shoot.

"Hey, (Y/N) come here,” Tom said motioning to another room.

The room had been fill with (Y/N)’s favorite flowers and soft music was playing in the background.

“From the moment I met you I knew I loved you,” Tom said taking her hands.

“Will you go on a date with me,” He asked.

“I love you to and yes!” She screamed kissing him.

“Get it British boy!” Anthony screamed.

(Y/N) turned to notice the cast watching there romantic moment.

“Okay, beautiful moment but let’s get this scene done,” The director yelled.

“And someone move these flowers we need this room!” He added.

Tom and (Y/N) chuckled.

“Let’s go, we have a scene to shoot,” Tom said leading (Y/N) to the set.

Tom said on the bed in his spiderman suit with his mask in his hands.

(Y/N) stood across from him at the door holding the strings to her robe waiting for the magic word.

“Action!” The director called out.

There was the magic word. (Y/N) dropped her robe and slowly stocked toward Tom who was mesmerized. She knew his reaction was real.

She climbed on too of his kissed him with so much passion and Tom forgot they where doing a scene.

He flipped her over on the bed and kissed up her stomach. He was supposed to stop after her bra came off but he continued. Then his suit came off as he massaged her breasts.

“Alright, cut!” The director yelled.

That didn’t stop them when his fingers reached her panties ready to pry them off Sebastian and Anthony had taken it upon themselves to pull them off.

“Ok, you guys need to stop, we could get sued for making a porno,” Sebastian said averting his eyes away from (Y/N)’s bare chest.

She quickly got her robe and covered her self.

“Shit, sorry I forgot we where filming, you dropped you robe and I couldn’t see anything else,” He replied.

“Every body back in position, lets do another take,” The director yelled.

Maybe today wasn’t going to be so bad


Pluto in houses 4 - 12

Pluto in the fourth house

At the deepest roots of their life Pluto will be cleansing and transforming in the sphere of family relations and sense of belonging. The fourth house is closely connected with our deepest self, psychological roots and feeling of protection. 

Those born with Pluto in the 4th house may have experienced something dramatic in the family home, and whatever it was it can sometimes make them feel isolated and rootless. Perhaps there was much that was hidden or secret in their childhood, and this has changed them indefinitely.

According to modern astrology the fourth house rules the father, and everything we inherit from our immediate family. Pluto in the 4th house can show early intimidation, and the father may appear threatening to the child, even if his behavior has unwarranted this powerful reaction. On the other hand, the father may have had a profound affect on the individual growing up, and his absence leaves psychological wounds. Another possibility is that he had difficulty in expressing his emotions, suffered from deep depression, and so when he erupted the violence of his reactions frighten a young child. The father may have been over-demanding, over-controlling, over-protective or jealous.

The 4th house can also signify the death of one of the parents, or actual abandonment. Sometimes the death of a family member has effected the child deeply. The parents may have been struggling to come to terms with a significant loss. The family may have broken up, lost its home, suffered bankruptcy, etc. Pluto in the 4th house is deeply private and secretive about their home life. One of the best outlets for this placement is to “dig up” the family history, and explore old secrets. The complexes and traumas formed in early childhood, if unresolved, often seethe below the level of conscious awareness, and the individual carries a hefty weight of grief and resentment over old hurts 

The individual might want to cut off their feelings altogether, it may feel as if something dangerous underneath threatens to overwhelm them. Pluto in the 4th house represents heavy emotional baggage, which must be explored and healed. There may have even been something considered taboo about their roots and parentage, and the family might have been persecuted in the past. A parents paranoia, obsessive behavior or depressive moods, may have permeated the environment.This can all affect how you feel about family and living at home.

When Pluto is placed in the house of the home, they may want to relocate, emigrate, utterly reinvent where they are living, or build a new place to live. This will usually happen when they feel they have outgrown phase of their life.Sometimes forces beyond their control part them with their past, but they will discover a renewed sense of belonging and transform in the process. Pluto in the 4th house may be involved with tearing down old homes and rebuilding them. The home might have been badly damaged and in need of repair. The situation often forces them to tap into their inner resources.

Pluto in the fifth house

With Pluto in the 5th house there is a powerful urge to express creativity, and art may be pursued with obsessive passion. Artwork and hobbies are expressed with drama, intensity and even heaviness. Creative gifts may be out of the ordinary and have a profound effect on others. Those with Pluto here have strong creative forces in whatever they do, and they want to do it to the fullest, they get totally, passionately and even obsessively involved.

However, these people may have to confront psychological blocks and  re-examine early childhood and see what type of encouragement was received and how others responded to their taste for drama. The labour of creating something can be a long and painful process until they face whatever complexes are rooted in the 5th house. Still, their desire for personal recognition is compelling, and if they do not achieve personal success they may try to force their children  to fulfill their desires for them.

Pluto in the 5th house is over-protective of loved ones and children, and they share a deep and loving bond. Sometimes there is over-possessiveness and smothering. The birth of a child can completely transform their life. The eldest child may undergo a crisis of some kind, or their personality is strongly Plutonian. Astrologer Sue Tompkins says:

A deep desire to have children can be indicated with this placement, which can also sometimes be indicative of miscarriages and abortions if other factors in the horoscope concur. Occasionally it equates with putting a child up for adoption.

 Love affairs are often consuming and emotionally exhausting and they may become obsessed, fixated and jealous of a lover. Pluto in the 5th house is popularly known amongst astrologers as the “fatal attraction” position, and it sometimes indicates a secret or hidden affair. The individual may fall in love with someone who is passionate, jealous, domineering or emotionally turbulent. Pluto here is not likely to take the affairs of the heart lightly and each romance is seen as some kind of fate. Pluto in the 5th house may also indicate a hidden need for love, flattery and attention.

They can act as natural leaders and pioneers, and objectively understand how to guide individual development and actualization of those they touch. The other day I was watching several children play. They were all four and five year olds. At one point an eighteen month old baby wandered by these children. This little girl had a tremendously powerful aura. All the four and five year old children stopped what they were doing and began to follow her. Mesmerized they simply fell in line with this child. After watching this scene I asked the mother for her birth data. As it turned out, the little one had Pluto conjunct Saturn in the 5th house. This intrinsic leadership capacity created an almost Pied-Piper - like effect upon the four and five year olds even though she was only eighteen months old. Jeff Green

There is often a burning desire within to create and sexuality can be intense. A powerful sense of self-importance may be present, alternatively they hide their creativity and sense of specialness. Sometimes art is created in reaction to a trauma, conflict and upheaval. The creative self-expression is used as a healing tool.

Pluto in the sixth house

Those with Pluto in the 6th house can have an obsession with routine and ritual. The 6th house rules over our day-to-day routine of life. The 6th house also describes how we get along with our co-workers and the people we are serving and who serve us. People with this placement of Pluto may possibly have power-struggles in the place of work, and sometimes the individual gives the impression of being threatening, intimidating and hostile to other people. 

Instead those at work bully or threaten this person, and betrayal, treachery, jealousy, bitchiness and intrigue is not uncommon. This position of Pluto does not react well to criticism at work and they can also be ruthless with others on the job. Alternatively, they may be over-zealous in their work practices, powerful and efficient in routine and executing the job the right-way. Pluto can transform work conditions, lifestyle and routine, and the individual has tremendous organizational capability, excelling at  precision work.

These people can be a dynamo at work and have laser-like focus on what needs to be done within a schedule. Pluto in the 6th house desires and ensures that the job gets done right and they are passionate in the workplace, no one is more loyal, committed and dedicated to service. Furthermore, there is also a need to make sweeping changes in the office, factory or workshop.

In some cases the work is Plutonian by nature: Psychology, healing, detective, investigation, research, mortician and so forth. In addition, there is also the tendency towards obsession with work and some individuals function like workaholics. Pluto here may be over-consumed with the minor details and tend to over-analyse problems to death. 

The work-life may go through cycles of change and they may stay in a job for years, until fate pushes them in a completely new direction. Sometimes there can be losses at work, or conditions beyond their control. Losing a job can have a serious psychological impact. Pluto here is invested, driven and compulsive in their work. Wherever Pluto is placed is where the individual may have to face a life and death struggle, and so crisis at work, health troubles or pet matters may be areas of concern.

Persons with Pluto in the 6th house can explore the functions of the mind and body in all-encompassing depth, complexity and penetration. This placement can indicate the eruption of health problems, and therefore the whole diet, regime and lifestyle will need an over-haul. The body needs to get rid of bodily toxins and poisons. For example, Demi Moore has Pluto in the 6th house and this woman is into dangerous detox diets and exercise. Pluto in 6th house diets are severe, and the body survives on minute quantities of food. Sometimes there are major control issues with the body. The person tries various rebuilding techniques, and there often a tremendous amount of effort put into self-improvement.

Pluto in the seventh house

Those with Pluto in the 7th housewill find that partnerships are the catalyst or agents for personal transformation and change. It is the area of relationships that plunge them into deep emotional complexes, testing the depth of their unions, and building and rebuilding contacts with others.

Wherever Pluto is placed in the chart is where we are emotionally wounded, and so when Pluto is placed in the 7th house it is our dealing with others where we find eruptions, blow ups and upheaval. Any problems with a partner will tend to simmer and seethe under the surface, and since Pluto is the planet of extremes, these people are learning to relate in a balanced and cooperative way.

The issue of who holds the power in the relationship is brought into sharp focus, and this may require a complete breakdown and rebuilding of the relationship. Pluto here can indicate power struggles with business partners or those involved in joint projects. The person can also form alliances with powerful people, and these individuals often have a tremendous impact on their future.

Relationships will never stay the same and they encounter people with enormous emotion, passion and vulnerability. Often these people believe that they have met their soul mate and that he or she has known this person in former lives. According to past life astrologers the individual has chosen to empower themselves in relationships this lifetime by overcoming the same emotionally abusive relationships that controlled them in a previous life.

The person may feel haunted by all past relationships and so resentment, guilt and feelings of persecution at the hands of others needs to be healed. Empowering themselves in relationships is the key to understanding their evolutionary development. Many people with Pluto in the 7th house are here to empower others and make very good counsellors, healers and agents for change.

The proclivity for destruction exists in the area of relating and Pluto stirs deep feelings in this house. The potential for treachery, betrayal, secrecy, jealousy, abuse and severe trust issues in relationships may threaten the strength of any bond. The people they get involved with will often mirror back the shadowy parts of themselves that have not been allowed full consciousness.

Pluto here can have difficulty trusting a partner and feeling safe in a union, and these people are working on exposing all issues within the relationship and healing them. There can be divorce or the loss of a partner through death, and it can become the single obsession of their lives. Similarly, they may fear the loss of a partner and attempt to control and dominate the relationship. There can be difficulty in letting go of a partner, and their own destiny is so tightly wound with him or her that to lose them would feel like a death.

Some Pluto in 7th house people have helped a partner through a terminal condition, depression or mental illness and there is usually a fated feeling about relationships. The partner is sometimes emotionally troubled and involved in criminal and underground activities. Conversely, the partner has a Plutonian vocation, and perhaps they work in the police force, psychology, or healing practices.

Pluto in the eighth house

Those with Pluto in the 8th house possess the power to drastically change the lives of others. Pluto is placed in a very powerful and dominant position, but when its natural energies are obstructed it can lead to a build-up of repressed desires, which burst through consciousness, and all hell breaks loose.

Many astrologers believe that when Pluto is placed in the 8th house of the horoscope the individual will experience at least one major life change. Pluto can plunge the native into the intensity of the underworld through a connection with profound issues such as sex, death, power and survival.

With all planets in the 8th house the individual needs to seek empowerment, which refers to the acquisition of power rather than wielding it over others. Additionally, ignoring such powerful intense desires will leave the soul feeling powerless, frightened and overwhelmed. 

Partnerships may involve power-struggles, physical or emotional violence or the breaking of taboos. Some have a propensity for troubled relationships, and it involves long-drawn out conflict over inheritance, sex, business deals and divorce settlements. Relationships can be damaged as a result, and we can recognize this pattern in many couples with silent stand-offs, withdrawal, ambivalence, distrust, anger, blame and an emotional tug of war.

When a relationship has a power-struggle brewing underneath, and the two people begin to test the waters (8th), each partner sheds their inhibitions and lets their real self-emerge. Pluto in the 8th house describes this exchange of intensity and pronounces the desire to transform relationships, and so intense engagement doesn’t have to threaten a relationship, it can help it grow, develop and heal.

The problems arising in the present are often fuelled by the unconscious, and the 8th house represents our psychic inheritance. The family demons may include: death, abuse, emotional manipulation, nasty parental divorce, violence, suicide or mental illness. According to Jungian astrology many 8th house people are born to be the “curse breaker” of the family. Indeed, if the individual can wield such power, they can also bring profound healing. They have a talent for transforming, and their strong will power often equates with an all or nothing attitude.

Pluto in the 8th house can have a compulsive fascination with death and some have an unconscious death wish. Eighth house people are intensely probing and are often interested in dark subjects like the occult, psychology and unsolved mysteries. Inner growth may be a lifelong interest. Pluto here may also have strong psychic powers, and this placement gives the individual added insights.

Pluto here also indicates research ability and the person is willing to dig deep and they may also possess a secretive nature. Issues of life and death may consume them, and the individual  may be able to assist those who are emotionally or mentally disturbed.

Pluto in the ninth house

Those with Pluto in the 9th house may go through a philosophical overhaul and dramatic crisis in life come as a result of belief systems. They may be fascinated with alchemy, archaeology, pre-history, magic, or the occult. This is also an excellent placement for anyone involved in psychology, research and things of an investigative nature. The image of God is characterised by deep, personal experience of transformation. The individual holds the belief that knowledge is power, and they are keen on studying, and there is a feeling that one must root out this knowledge for themselves. 

Pluto will tear everything apart until it finds the hidden meaning. Higher education may have a profound impact on the individual for one reason or another, and they could dramatically switch courses. They are often insatiable to find answers to some of life’s bigger questions, and need to understand the laws and patterns which govern life. Pluto in the 9th house desperately needs to find some meaning in their lives, it’s as if their very survival depends on understanding the world at large. 

Much will depend upon the nature of the ideology they adopt, and at the extreme level they may be a religious fanatic, or a revolutionary attempting to force their worldview on others. Similarly they may also feel persecuted for what they believe, and philosophies are torn down and restructured. Some feel betrayed by the belief system they have followed, and the collapse and deep loss of faith can be overwhelming. The way the individual views and perceives life will undergo major adjustments, and they might even have to face some form of prejudice – either from groups or mainstream society. 

There is an intensive struggle for the deeper truths in life, and travelling to places may involve some kind of trauma, crisis or death. Moreover the individual may feel dramatically transformed while travelling and experiencing different cultures. Pluto’s position in the 9th house brings feelings of rootlessness so that the view of life or religion has to be looked for elsewhere. The search for a new vision may become obsessive, and for some there is a deep dislike of hypocrisy. The higher mind goes through periodic purges and at certain points in their lives they follow a course of study, religion or philosophy with conviction. 

Pluto in the 9th house wants to discover the meaning of the universe, and they can be adept at understanding the deeper aspects of education, teaching and travelling. The 9th house is also related to the higher courts and legal battles are long drawn out and painful. Sometimes there are even some disputes with the in-laws. There will be times in their lives that they passionately crusade something they deem noble and important. The individual can be instrumental in bringing about change in areas of higher learning, religion, or other studies, and radically alter their own perspective in the process.

Pluto in the tenth house

Those with Pluto in the 10th house have their compulsive nature focused on worldly ambitions, and expression of authority. They are likely to find themselves in positions of power and there is an insatiable drive towards success. The individual has a strong striving for impact and influence in society, and may be completely obsessed with their calling in life. They can become consumed by their career and their need for professional success is always intensified.

Pluto here has tremendous determination and great organisation skills. Some work in Plutonian areas like psychology, mining, healing, investigating, or business, but usually one deals with the issue of power, and sometimes the individual seeks to expose the establishment, and this placement can indicate a troubling relationship with authority figures. Those with Pluto in the 10th house may face humiliating experiences at the hands of those in power. Sometimes there is a distrust of those in authority, and Pluto in the 10th house needs to periodically tear down structures and rebuild them. In some cases this may mean leaving an established career, and embarking on a radically different one. They may be subject to career upheavals, public disgrace, have their reputation destroyed, or see the destruction of their career. 

The individual may face forced redundancy, complete takeover, or witness a business collapsing. Sometimes they can no longer tolerate their career and don’t feel as if they are passionately engaged anymore. However, even in all of these cases the person has the ability to regenerate their career and vocation, pick up the pieces and start all over again.

Negatively the shadowy side of Pluto may enter their career and the individual may be ruthless, manipulative, secretive and underhanded in business. However, for most people they are challenged to learn how to use the right amount of assertiveness to avoid power-struggles when they reach the top. Pluto’s position in any of the houses shows the use and abuse of power, and when Pluto is in the 10th house they are very sensitive to the issue of control.

Pluto in this position may have grown up with a dominant parent, and viewed them as oppressive or controlling. Whatever the case, the parent wields an enormous amount of power in the family. Similarly they may view them as dark, possessive and threatening. In reality the parent may not be this way at all, and she may have struggled successfully with some crisis or trauma, but the individual may feel sensitive and vulnerable in their presence. Sometimes it can mean the death of parent or early emotional problems.

Pluto in the 10th house may be responsible for transforming society and tearing down old systems that have become outworn and out-dated. The individual also lets nothing stand in the way of their ambition, and they want to remake and change the world in some significant way.

Pluto in the eleventh house 
Those with Pluto in the 11th house may find intense emotional experiences through groups, friendships, and society at large. The death or loss of friends can affect these people deeply. A crisis of some kind could lead these individuals to take up a cause, and fight for social change in some area.

The individual may wish to transform society to knock it down and rebuild it from scratch. These people can display extraordinary passion towards groups of people, social ideals and movements. The forming of any of these alliances creates profound and life-altering change in the individual. People they acquaint with are the catalysts for growth.

The individuals they meet have an affect on the life for a very long time. It may not be easy to shake off the experiences he or she has with groups, friends and alliances. They may form life-changing relationships, but they are also likely to be fuelled with drama at times. Some of these people feel very uncomfortable in group situations, and they can become paranoid in crowds of people. The individual is quite aware of the darker thoughts and feelings of any group.

Those with Pluto here might find themselves resentful, jealous and mistrustful of friends. The need to control and dominate a group may also be a problem, and they find themselves feeling disturbed, isolated and deeply impacted within social networks of people. The Pluto in 11th house soul also feels that these activities can become demanding and overwhelming on his or her life.

Wherever Pluto is placed there is always that feeling that fate, destiny or karma is at work. With Pluto in the 11th house a compulsive relationship with a friend and the extremes of emotion experienced with this person could be one theme repeating in their life. Those with Pluto here will fight tooth and nail for friends.  Some friendships may prove difficult and they may cause problems through sexual tensions, violence abuse, blackmail and dangerous power struggles.

A mistrust of others often develops, but with Pluto we first view the dark side of a situation and so come across some unethical predicaments. The feeling of powerlessness and helplessness with deep-reaching transformations is another possibility and this usually happens through groups, charities and memberships involving large organizations.

This placement is often associated with replacing one group of associates with another, so that they form a whole new group. It can also bring bring deep, rewarding and powerfully loyal relationships, and the individual may be interested in scientific or humanitarian pursuits, and the repression of freedom could be a powerful issue raised.

Pluto in the twelfth house

Those with Pluto in the 12th house have a deep interest in secrets, the unconscious, and anything mysterious. Psychoanalysis, investigating dreams and other methods of uncovering mysteries are interesting to them. They may be exceptionally perceptive intuitively or psychically.

Stephen Arroyo: Astrology Karma and Transformation points out that the twelfth house reveals influences beyond our conscious control. Planets here symbolize forces which often overwhelm us.

Therefore the individual born with Pluto in the twelfth house sphere has the challenge of not feeling overwhelmed by the collective shadow of suffering, sadness and grief. Pluto in the 12th house has unfathomable and complex emotional guilt and feelings of persecution, and it is not unlikely for this individual to take on the role of family scapegoat. Frequently there is a dark history of abuse, brutality, or violence, and the individual senses that there is something shadowy lurking in the background.

Pluto is working on transforming the collective shadow, and the task is to bring those repressed parts that are weak and undeveloped into full awareness so that they are faced and integrated into the personality. Blocked energy in the unconscious can be released through therapy, self-analysis and dream-work. The depths of the subconscious are explored, and there may be a powerful urge to study psychology or another avenue that explores the unconscious realms of the human psyche.

Pluto in the 12th house possesses a psychic sensitivity to the hidden lives of others. Sue Tompkins says this placement is like a psychic refuse bin, and they absorb the negativity around them; all the unexpressed grief and fears that others conceal behind a happy face. Problematic areas relating to the 12th house are unseen health problems, addictions, excessive escapism, and an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness.

Pluto is sensitive to what is dark and destructive in society. Self-destructive, suicidal, paranoid and destructive fantasies leave the individual feeling helpless and unable to prevent something bad from happening. Yet, this is also a frequent placement in the charts of those who work in mental health, crisis situations, counselling, and crime prevention. 

There is a deep need to do something for humanity that will benefit others and themselves. Pluto in the 12th house possesses a deep reservoir of healing power, regenerative ability, capability and strength in the face of unimaginable terror. The person can go through sustained periods of inner growth and periodic transformations and personal crisis are experienced liberally throughout their lifetime.

Common characteristics of Pluto in the twelfth house include: being deeply private, not what they seem as interpreted in other’s eyes, deeply sensitive; taking things to heart; being amazingly shy at a core level; being ultra-emotional; although you may not know it, they can be extremely giving in a silent way; having many deep and unresolved fears, and aura of dreaminess, and powerful dreams or never any dreams because of exhaustion; being naturally psychic. By Jeff Green

source: http://theastrologyplace.blogspot.nl/

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Fearlessly Day 1

Our first new look SPOTLIGHT. 

We’re spending the next five days spotlighting fearlessly , an author whose specialty is hitting the real feeling and romance of a good angst-fest. Find her @fearlesslygleefics

DAY 1: Meet the author

Why Klaine? 

I think first I need to answer: why Glee? … I remember being intrigued by the previews; it was a show about musicals, where people actually sang on every episode. I’ve always loved music and musical theatre, so naturally I started watching Glee when the pilot aired. The motley crew of characters were so unique, and at the same time so relatable in one way or another, that I became instantly hooked.

As season one continued, the character which spoke to me the most, not necessarily because I related to him exactly – but more so because of how strongly the actor was committed and invested in him, was Kurt. Chris’s portrayal of Kurt was outstanding and, from the moment I noticed him in the pilot, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. I liked him because he was snarky and funny and didn’t take any crap from anyone (“One day, you will all work for me.”). But, he was also soft, sensitive, compassionate, and he loved his dad so fiercely. It was hard not to love that character. I fell for him completely.

… Keep reading for how Fearlessly fell for Blaine, what to expect in her writing, how to keep an angsty story from leaving your readers heartbroken and what Fearlessly likes about her own writing (always the toughest question)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What is your favourite Calzona kiss and favourite Calzona scene?

I love the scene in series 9 when they’re working on having sex again and Callie helps with her leg for her. The way Arizona watches her is so beyond beautiful, it’s like she’s remembering why she fell in love with her all over again and figuring out that Callie just loves her and wants her to be okay. That felt like the end of all the trouble, especially with the ted episode after it. It SHOULD have been the end of it.

Kisses… I love the stair one, the elevator one, the “we’ll see each other at work” one the “please don’t run” one. ALL of them 😂

It’s impossible to choose favourite calzona scenes and kisses, I love

  • my mother and i watching les mis movie
  • *look down paris scene*
  • my mother: i always though he is ugly
  • me: .....there was no need to be handsome at that time
  • my mother: what happens there?
  • me: the ugly boy saw the mamma mia girl and they fell in love but wolverine pulled the mamma mia girl away after bellatrix and that weird looking man tried to get money from him who were mamma mia girls first step parents and wolverine bought her from them however the gladiator is chasing wolverine btw
  • my mother: oh okay.....and WHY?!

I fell in love with Murphy even more during Lexa’s death scene. You can clearly see he was a bit confused and wanted to get the hell out of there but once he saw Clarke completely frantic and cooperating with Titus to try to save Lexa, Murphy stood back and witnessed it and realized Clarke really loved her. He didn’t escape on his own, like he has been doing all this time. He watched Clarke lose the love of her life and he didn’t leave her side. He even thought it’d be best if they left after Lexa died but when Clarke pushed him away he didn’t fight it. He stood by her the whole time. The scene was horrible and upsetting but somehow, for me, Murphy’s presence was comforting.

anonymous asked:

Why are you so against Stefan and Elena?

This might come as a shock to you, but I once was a Stefanand Elena fan, wait hold on let me re-phrase that. For the pilot episode I was a fan of Stefan and Elena, because at the time there was no other couple to go by to pair Elena off with.

That changed however once

You must be Elena; I’m Damon, Stefan’s brother

Was introduced because when Damon said “great meeting you Elena” the dynamic shifted, something changed and a new possibility was introduced. Elena’s sole reason for making the trip to the Boarding House was to see Stefan, and yet those few seconds with Damon it’s almost as if she had forgotten her reason for being there in the first place. She was entranced by this stranger and when you re-watch this scene you are reminded of their official first encounter. Elena had been so transfixed by this mysterious stranger that for those short moments of being with him the rest of the world had disappeared.

Now I am not under any circumstances knocking Stefan and Elena because what they had was real and they both loved each other, but there was nothing really worthy about it. They were the cliché couple that met in high school, went on a date and shortly later were saying I love you. Their love didn’t really have development it was just there. Elena was still just a girl in high school and the person she got with was your traditional young love. Obviously it wasn’t completely traditional because they had to go through supernatural hurdles, but do you understand where I am coming from with this?

With Damon and Elena their relationship had development it started with her keeping him at arm’s length because of Stefan’s warnings and it started with her just seeing him as “Stefan’s brother.” The night that Damon saved Elena from her car wreck is when that slow shift began because they each saw something different in one another. Damon saw the girl that Elena told him that she once was before tragedy struck, and Elena saw someone who she had labeled as a monster be comforting and protective of her, someone who was able to for that one night break her out of that isolated shell.

Elena over time was able to see Damon as her savior, her white knight disguised as a dark knight who came to her rescue and stepped in at the Mystic Falls Pageant. As Damon had escorted her outside all she had been worried about was Stefan, and what he was doing being on the loose, but the second the music began to play, and brown met a deep shade of blue all concerns and thoughts ceased to exist. That dance, mere touch it’s about unspoken words, and when they fell into each other’s arm’s you once again saw that shift, because there was something more.

I always like going back to season three after knowing that Elena was in love with Damon during that season. You watch scenes like “I’m mad at you because I love you” and you get a whole different outlook, because you are aware that Elena had loved Damon too. He had said those words out loud, no because he was dying, but because he could no longer hold them in, and you wonder if she had struggled to keep herself silent, and how much it had pained her to say “maybe that’s the problem.”

You wonder if when that door swung open revealing a shirtless Damon and Rebekah still in her dress from the previous night if what she felt went beyond jealousy. This was the man she was in love with and yet he was with another woman, not just that but a woman who had tried to kill her. Did she imagine during those few seconds standing outside, being on the outside looking in what it would be like to wake up next to Damon? To be worshipped by him?

I always though am drawn back to the finale episode of season three, their phone call conversation.

It’s always gonna be Stefan

I can’t think about always

All I can think about is right now

Everyone could see that Elena struggled with this choice, but add now to the fact that she loved Damon during this. She wasn’t focusing on the future or months from now, all she was thinking about was now, and now she was still Stefan’s and it wouldn’t have made any sense for her to choose differently. It wouldn’t have helped matters or change anything, because she had to prcoess the fact that there was a chance the Salvatore brothers might die. If Elena had chosen Damon said I love you out loud, then she would have been finally admitting what she had known all along, and by letting it finally out it would finally be known, and she’d have to live with that. By keeping her love for him a secret and to herself it was almost as if it wasn’t yet real, but by letting it finally be known she’d have to deal with the consequences. What would have happened if she had said it and he had died? Would she have played the ‘what if’ game for the rest of her life?

Season four was a huge shift four this couple because Elena was finally allowing her feelings to showcase and she no longer was hiding them, consequences be dammned. Even when she was with Stefan she was not as obvious to what she felt, she tried to not make it as known in respect towards what Damon felt, but with what she felt for Damon she had no problem showing and saying it.

Season five was all about the “we’re toxic for each other” and yet even knowing and accepting how bad they were for one another, they couldn’t really stay away. Yeah they are toxic, but they are toxic when they are without one another. They do reckless things, and start of season six and Elena’s downward spiral proved that.

Look I’ve made some huge mistakes in my life. Being with you wasn’t one of them. The night I died Matt was driving me back to him and yet I found my way back to you…I always somehow find my way back to you.

This is what defines who Damon and Elena are towards each other, no matter the trail, no matter the obstacle thrusted in front of them somehow they always find a way back to each other. Darkness can drape itself over them and yet somehow they find light. They are each other’s humanity, and they are each other’s hope that eventually when this mess clears they’ll finally get the happiness with each other they so rightfully deserve.

Stefan and Elena never had this, Elena was able to survive without Stefan, but without Damon it was like she was gone, she still remained on this earth, but she was nothing but a vessal, trapped in a life she no longer wanted, because her soulmate was gone.

Stefan and Elena can get back together

Damon and Bonnie can give it a go

A new love interest can be introduced

In the end though this couple will find their way back, because they are each other’s breath of fresh air. They are the hand that they reach for when the world is crumbling down around them. There is always going to be that invisible tether that draws this couple together, and it’s that which will finally cause them to be selfish and give into each other once again, because the love that Damon and Elena share for each other isn’t something that can be forgotten or replaced.

They are the couple that so many rooted for and will continue to root for because their love isn’t something you’d find in a fairytale, because fairytales don’t exist. Stefan and Elena were the couple who were meant to be, written in the stars, but it was Damon and Elena who were the underdogs who fought not only against their loved ones, but the universe itself to fight for their love, and I don’t know about you, but I always root for the underdogs.

Common Misconceptions About SwanFire

These are the most common misconceptions I’ve run into. I’ll edit this post as I come across more. 

1. “Neal made Emma take the fall for his crimes." 
This is incorrect for two reasons. Firstly, Emma volunteered to steal the watches; Neal actually tried to talk her out of it. Secondly, because Emma herself retrieved the watches from the locker, she was guilty of aiding and abetting in crime and possessing stolen goods. That is what she went to jail for, not stealing the watches from the jewellery store in the first place, which was Neal’s (legally far more serious) offence. 

2. "Neal sent Emma to jail." 
He didn’t; August did. We have yet to find out the details surrounding Neal and August’s interaction. It is unclear why exactly Neal couldn’t help Emma break the curse, but K&H have said that this will be addressed in the future. 

3. "Neal never looked for Emma. He never stood by her." 

4. "Neal only began to love Emma again after Tamara betrayed him." 
False. It was pretty obvious to several characters (e.g. Rumple) that Neal, despite having been engaged to Tamara (ten years after his time with Emma and after only knowing Tamara for one year), had always loved Emma. This was evidenced by the fact that the dreamcatcher was in plain sight in his apartment, whereas there was a blatant lack of photos of Tamara. Furthermore, Neal first referred to Tamara as his "friend” while he was talking to Emma (in 2x15, I believe). Henry, Snow and Tamara were also quick to notice that Emma, in turn, still had feelings for Neal. 

You might have some further retorts at this point. 

If Neal had loved Emma all that time, then why did he leap into a relationship with Tamara when he knew that the curse in Storybrooke was weakening? We already got a pretty clear answer to that in 2x18. Neal thought that he would not have a chance with Emma. He therefore tried to move on. He wanted to move on. Did you expect him to remain celibate for the rest of his (already miserable and lonely) existence? What’s more, Tamara was aware of who Neal was. She knew that he feared magic. She knew that he was vulnerable because of the things that had happened to him in the past. So she became everything that Neal would have wanted in a relationship. She actively manipulated him into loving her– or rather the idea of her. 

You might also wonder why Neal didn’t act on his feelings for Emma until after Tamara revealed her true colours, even though Neal had loved the former more deeply and genuinely than the latter. Well, it was because he was still engaged to Tamara, and to engage in a relationship with Emma while already in one with Tamara would have obviously been cheating. It was okay to show his feelings for Emma after Tamara betrayed him. I am fairly certain that when your fiancée shoots you in the chest, the engagement is automatically called off. 

5a. “Neal left Emma because he was afraid of facing his father." 
Of all the arguments I’ve heard against Neal, this has got to be the least substantiated one. It’s a canonical fact that Neal left Emma so that she could break the curse and reunite with her family, which is the one thing she’s most ardently desired. As far as I know, there has been no indication whatsoever onscreen or in interviews or podcasts that Neal left because he was afraid of his father. And honestly, how does this claim even make sense? Breaking the curse would've enabled Rumple to come looking for Neal, which was not what he desired. It would’ve actually been favourable for Neal to prevent Emma from fulfilling her role as the Saviour, as he could’ve stayed with the love of his life and avoided his father altogether. So what Neal did, however shitty it seems, can be considered a self-sacrifice, and that is in fact how K&H have deemed his actions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9KzRHkVP-c

5b. "Neal never came back to Storybrooke because he was afraid of his father." 
Again, this has never been stated in canon. What we know as a FACT is that Neal never went back because he was afraid that Emma would never forgive him, as he’d never forgiven himself. As Mulan succinctly surmised, Neal’s fear of rejection was more overwhelming than his love. You can brand him a coward all you want, but I will firmly declare that the fear of rejection is a very human feeling that we all experience. I think it’s unfair to bash Neal for this flaw. 

6. "Neal has never fought for Emma." 
Never? Really? What about that time he rushed back to his apartment to face a man he never wanted to see again, all in the name of protecting Emma? What about the time he fought side-by-side with her and her family against Cora and Regina immediately after coming to Storybrooke? He even stood protectively in front of her before Cora *poofed* them into the forest. What about that time when he let go of Emma’s hand and fell through the portal alone, knowing he could die, just so that she didn’t fall in with him and leave Henry without both his biological parents? What about that time when he fought like hell to get to Neverland, a place he feared and detested, in order to save Emma and Henry despite the fact that they might not accept him back into their lives? (I might also add that he rushed to Rumple’s castle moments after awakening from his wound. He didn’t even rest to recover.) 

Tell me again how Neal never fought for Emma. I dare you. 

7. "Neal and Emma can’t be True Loves; they don’t even have their own theme music!1!" 
People who claim this either have too much earwax or have very selective hearing. Neal and Emma’s theme is called "Tallahassee”. As the name suggests, this theme was played in 2x06, but was notably also played during the beach scene in 2x21, when Neal apologized for everything. This theme is also very similar to the one that played when Charming kissed amnesiac!Snow after leaping in front of the arrow she’d aimed at Regina. AND MIGHT I ADD– the True Love theme played when Neal let go of Emma’s hand and fell into the portal after telling her he loved her. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxc3WWUpWLI  Are they true loves for sure? Maybe. Maybe not. But to state that they don’t have their own theme is silly and so easily disproven. 

8a. “Neal blackmailed Robin into giving up Roland as shadow-bait." 
Oh please. The people who have used this argument have just come across as willfully blind and biased. Neal and Robin had a father-to-father talk on why Roland’s role was necessary, and Robin eventually acquiesced. Neal may have played the "you are indebted to my father and therefore me” card, but that was just a factual reminder; it could hardly constitute as blackmail. Neal, Mulan and Robin together all made sure that Roland was never in any real danger. 

8b. “Neal could have used other methods to get to Neverland. He didn’t have to use Roland. The fact that he didn’t even look for alternative methods shows that he’s lazy and manipulative." 
Honestly…All I can say to people who retaliate with this is "Do you even watch this show?” Do you know why the curse existed in the first place? It was because it was the ONLY way Rumple could get to the Land Without Magic– there was nothing else that could transport him. Now, at the time Neal was trying to realm-jump, there were a) no beans in existence, b) no ruby slippers to be found (remember that Jefferson had failed to retrieve them for Rumple), c) no magical realm-transporting curses, d) no magical hat (Jefferson’s was destroyed in 2x07…nothing. To claim that Neal had other options available to him is really laughable. It took Rumple 300 years to get to his son, and he used a terrible means; do you think Neal could’ve found an alternative way in mere minutes? I’m shocked and impressed that he came up with the shadow idea, even if I don’t condone his use of Roland. Desperate times call for desperate measures though. 

*credits to i-sudoku for reminding me of misconceptions 9-11*

9. “Emma wished Neal was dead. They can’t possibly be true loves." 

Emma said to Neal that she wished he was dead because she didn’t want to deal with the pain of losing him yet again. She thought she’d already lost him once, when he left her while she went to jail. Then just when she’d found him after 11 years, she lost him again, and this time she thought it was for good. All that pain that she’d had when she first lost him came rushing back to her before she could even fully deal with having found him. At this point, she felt that it would be easier to have lost him forever than to get him back…and then lose him for a third time. It’s not that Emma is secretly plotting to kill Neal or something. Sheesh.

This is just my opinion, but I think an appropriate parallel would be Snow drinking that forgetfulness potion to remove Charming from her memory. It’s just easier to try to erase someone from your life than bearing the burden of having lost that person.

10. "Emma obviously doesn’t love Neal anymore now that she’s got Hook. She screamed Hook’s name in Dark Hollow." 
Grasping at straws now, are we? Hook was the first one to be attacked by the shadows, so obviously Emma screamed his name first. Immediately after she’d done so, Neal was attacked, but Emma knew that the priority was saving their asses, not continuing to scream helplessly as both men slowly and painfully died. Can you imagine how the scene would’ve played out otherwise? 

*everyone dies* 

Also, it would’ve been cinematographically redundant if she screamed Neal’s name too. 

11. "Emma doesn’t want to be with Neal. Her parents had to push her to go on a date with Neal." 
There are so many things wrong with this claim. First of all, Emma specifically said that she wasn’t at Granny’s with Neal because she was still so worried about Henry. Charming then proceeded to tell her that she couldn’t always be so afraid of bad events; she needed to look for the happy moments in life as well. (That was the whole point of the flashback.) Secondly, Emma’s parents ship her with happiness. They know Emma still loves Neal. They saw how devastated Emma was when Neal "died”; they also saw her have an emotional breakdown in 3x04. They are now quite justified in believing that Neal would play a big role in bringing Emma joy. But I reiterate, Emma was afraid of seeking happiness because she thought everything would just go wrong. That’s why her parents kept telling her she owed it to herself to spend some time with Neal. And she was on her way to go on her “date” with him– she got up and began to walk with her father of her own volition. Then, of course, they heard Blue’s cries and changed course. 

12a. “Neal said he’d never stop fighting for Emma. He’s forcing himself upon her. He’s not giving her her space." 
12b. "Neal said that if Emma didn’t show up, he’d stop bugging her. He doesn’t care about her; he’s not fighting for her." 
First you complain about him saying he’d fight for her, then you complain about how you think he’s not fighting for her? Make up your minds.

When Neal said that he’d never stop fighting for her, he was just saying that he’d always love her and would do anything for her. He would be there for her and help her as in every way he could. 

When Neal said that he’d stop bugging her if she didn’t come to their "date”, he was trying to be respectful and give her space. He was merely trying to let her know that he would let her talk to him if and when she was ready to do so. Is there anything wrong with that? Yeah…didn’t think so. 

13. “Henry’s heart could be taken out. That means he’s not the product of true love." 
FFS. Henry’s heart could be taken out because he took it out himself. Then Regina cast a spell on him as a just-in-case precaution to completely prevent someone else from being able to remove it. If she hadn’t cast the spell and Pan then tried to take it, we don’t know whether or not he’d have been successful. So this claim that Henry’s heart can be ripped out by another is unsubstantiated. 

But while we’re on this topic, I’d like to remind you that Henry has the heart of the truest believer. He was born of the greatest of light and dark. Sounds like the product of true love to me… :) 

14. Neal was mocking Emma’s pain in 2x14.  

It would seem that way only if you take his laugh out of context. That scene was not about Neal or Emma. It was about Henry. Neal said that he wanted to talk to Henry, and Emma warned him not to break his heart. Neal replied that he wouldn’t do to Henry was Rumple had done to him, and Emma in turn retorted, "Or what you did to me?” Neal’s laugh was mirthless. It wasn’t condescending. Then he said, “Okay, I get it. We’re all messed up.” That was his acknowledgement that he and Emma were both suffering, and that their pain could impact their parenting of Henry, which would have been detrimental to his well-being. So, Neal continued, “Let’s say we avoid that with him." 

15. The fact that Neal didn’t believe Emma’s accusations of Tamara and asked her if she was "out of her mind” shows that he was abusive. He was making her question her perception of events. And he yelled at Emma in front of Henry, meaning that he was trying to manipulate Henry’s perception of his mother. 

This is an extraordinarily stupid assertion. Emma was accusing Neal’s fiancée of murder and kidnapping WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER. Emma’s accusation was based SOLELY on her FALLIBLE lie detector ability (ie- a gut instinct). An ability that has failed to detect dozens of lies from people like Sydney, August and Greg. Emma then broke into Neal’s room without a search warrant, which is completely illegal, and Emma was the freaking sheriff. By having Henry act as a lookout, she made him an accomplice to the crime. 

So say you find your ex illegally breaking and entering into your room because her gut instinct tells her your fiancée is guilty of two serious offences. Why on God’s green earth would you believe her? Emma had no proof. Neal had absolutely no reason to believe her. The fact that he reacted with amusement and mild exasperation instead of anger shows great patience on his part. And though he didn’t believe Emma, he still went around with her to collect evidence and search for Regina. He also told her that if Tamara did in fact turn out to be evil, he’d have her (Emma’s back). 

Neal didn’t yell at Emma. And he wasn’t trying to shame her in front of Henry either. Remember that Neal had only been a dad for about three or four days by that point. He didn’t really feel as though he could tell Henry what to do. He recognized Emma as the primary guardian. It’s for that same reason that Neal didn’t tell Henry off when he made that “pizza doesn’t lie” comment. Neal was unsure how to react; he’d only known Henry for about a day by that point. Henry also had the right to be a little angry with Emma. 

Honestly, if Neal had exercised parental authority over Henry, people still would have been angry with him. “How dare he act as a father to Henry when he’s been absent all of Henry’s life!” the haters would have cried. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t demand that Neal act like a father and reprimand him when he does, then turn around and berate him for not exercising authority over his kid. 

ah okay so im so overstimulated right now and i have a huge headache but i dont want to forget anything so im going to write it all out now!! so tbh streetcar was pretty lowkey for me, bc my original plans fell through so i took my mom who loves the play which is fine, i just dont really have any fun stories for u guys. but the play was honestly incredible and gillian blew me away…

Keep reading


April 3. The official day that Naruto fell in love with Sakura.
I started watching Naruto when I was only five years old. My mother was scolding me because according to her, was a very violent drawing for my age. I came home running just to watch. After leaving the anime some years later, I went actually in the otaku world. It was then that I started to ship NaruSaku. Sakura and Naruto have always been my inspiration, they never gave up and became ever stronger! It captivated me to continue and persist in difficult moments of my life. The scene where Sakura cuts hair and Ino realize how much it would mean to her … it’s one of my favorites. From that moment, Sakura decided for herself that she never walk behind Naruto and Sasuke again. Since then, I saw a light maturing in it. And then…her relationship with Naruto was getting stronger and intimate. They grew up together, matured together, suffered and were happy together. The love between them grew as a cherry blossom, slowly and gently, and the evolution of Sakura Haruno…blossoming in their own time, showing delicate petals, but very tough. Sakura learned to love Naruto, and he learned to respect it. Their love blossomed pure and peaceful manner. Inside my heart, NaruSaku always be the one true match, and the only one who really was and still is cannon. Some people say that Naruto didn’t know what love was when he said like Sakura …I learned that the love of a child is the purest you can get. Congratulations to all the fans who have followed the development of NaruSaku like me. Congratulations, Sakura-chan, by becoming who you are today and shown that it is stronger than others think. Congratulations, Naruto, for showing what is to have determination. Thank you, Naruto and Sakura, for showing me what true love is and what it means putting the happiness of those you love above her.

I am very grateful to have entered the fandom NS. Thank you for giving me happiness for so many years.
Heaven and Earth … This will forever be my legacy.

After the season finale:

- Well I ship Rebekah and Marcel 
- Davina is still a bitch (still hate her)
- They need to bring Kol back
- Hope was the cutest in the final scene
- Freya now needs happiness
- I accidentally fell in love with klamille 

Okay, but imagine that in the middle of the night, all inky dark and silence, Daryl startles ice-water awake from another nightmare. (He’s wrapped around Carol like Christmas paper, because they fell asleep after the kind of sex that leaves you sweaty and shaken, wanting to touch the other person everywhere all at once, the kind of sex where no matter how hard you try, you can’t get quite close enough afterwards.)

A little bit of him wants to wake her up and tell her about the dream, because he’s trembling from the inside out and he knows from experience that the soft whisper of her voice and the way she puts her head on his heart have the power to make the dream images vanish in an instant.

But she looks so relaxed, so peaceful, so content, that he just lays there in the quiet and wraps himself up in the comfort of the moment. The way her shoulder lifts his arm every time she breathes in (god, he loves feeling her breathe). The way her hair smells like one of those ridiculous Axe body washes – ‘Dark Temptation’ or 'Phoenix’ or 'Anarchy’ or some shit – because they saved water last night by showering together. The way the arch of her foot rests against his ankle, because she tucked it there right before she fell asleep. (Right after she said, I love you.) The way her eyelashes flicker while she dreams.

And he just rests, tightening his arm as much as he dares, listening to the crickets outside and the way the sheets rustle when she snuggles closer to him in her sleep.

Warm Blankets, Good Books and a Blushing Dragon

Author’s Note: This is a follow-up to my last fiction, “Snow Day”. I had no intention on writing this, but I got a request on fanfic.net to do a follow up. If you like my stories feel free to send me a request. As always, I own nothing, Hiro Mashima is the genius behind Fairy Tail. Enjoy!

Snow was falling gently outside as the guild began to wind down for the day. After the excitement of the snowball battle that occurred earlier, the guild seemed much quieter. This could have been for several reasons

  1. The guild got in their quota for entertainment/betting for the day.
  2. Natsu left the guild with Lucy after she dried off from her dunking.
  3. Erza was in a mood ever since the catastrophe at the pool and no one wanted to mess with her.

Levy was pretty sure it was a combination of all three.

Slowly people began to leave the guild and head home for the night. Levy caught Romeo and Happy walking Wendy and Carla home. They like her… She saw Gray and Juvia sneak off into the night hand in hand. Nice to see that Gray is finally taking an interest in her. Soon the only ones left were the Strauss siblings, Laxus, Jet, Droy, herself and a certain Iron dragon who was still nursing his wounds from the punishment he took earlier.

Levy winced at the memory. Only on rare occasions had she seen Mira and Erza so furious, let alone working together so well. Eventually, a man who looked a lot like Mystogan showed up and was able to distract her with a piece of her favorite strawberry shortcake. Levy, did note that “Mystogan” and Erza left together earlier in the evening. Lucky for Gajeel, Mira soon tired of punishing him after Erza left and released Gajeel to go nurse his wounds. Levy, would have went over to help him, but knowing Gajeel, it would just embarrass him. Besides, Lily already came over to report that he was ok, so Levy stayed in her favorite corner and continued to read.

“Hey Levy.” Called a voice, startling the bluenette from her book. She looked up and was that it was Jet and Droy talking to her. “We are getting ready to head out. Do you want us to walk you to Fairy Hills?”

Levy looked up at clock. It was around 8:30, but she still had some time before the guild closed and she really wanted to finish her book.

“Thanks, but I’m almost done this book and I really want to finish it. You guys can head out, I’ll be fine.” Levy replied with a small smile.

“You sure?” asked Droy. “We don’t mind waiting for you, especially if you don’t have much left to read.”

“It’s fine, I’ll be ok getting home. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Levy insisted with a bit of force. She would never admit it, but she still wanted to make sure that Gajeel was ok and she didn’t want to leave without checking up on him.

“Alright then.” Jet replied, while looking around, unsure. “I guess we’ll see you tomorrow. Be safe getting home. The snow is slow now, but it’s supposed to pick back up soon.” And with that her teammates of Shadow Gear left and Levy went back to her book.

“Finished.” Levy sighed with a smile as she looked up from her book at the clock. I better head out. It’s almost closing time. As she stood up and turned to leave, she ran into a wall of human and fell back landing on the ground.

“What the?” Just as she was about to go off a bit on whoever was standing in her way, when she looked up to see a pair of red eyes looking down at her.

“What are you doing falling on the floor?” Gajeel asked with a bit of a smirk. “Did you forget how to walk?”

“I wouldn’t have fallen if you weren’t standing in my way.” Levy retorted hotly. “What were you doing so close behind me that I walked into you?”

“Nothing.” He replied, not meeting her eye. “We were getting ready to leave, when Lily noticed you were still here. And with the snow picking up, he figured that we should offer to walk you home.”

“Really.” Now it was Levy’s turn to smirk. “How thoughtful of Lily to offer to walk me home. I think I’ll take you him up on that offer. Come on Lily.” She began to look around for the cat.

“Well to be honest, Lily left already and uh…I’d like to walk you home. If that’s ok.” Blushing slightly, he looked up at her. “The snow is starting to pick up and it’s cold and stuff. So is it ok if I walk you home?”

“Yes, thank you.” Levy smiled up at him gently. “I’d like that.”

The walk home was mostly silent, but it was the comfortable silence that Levy enjoyed. The snow was beginning to pick up, but it was still manageable and didn’t hinder their time together. After a short fifteen minute walk, they arrived at Fairy Hills.

“Well. Here you are. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Gajeel said starting to turn away to walk back to his apartment.

“Wait. Why don’t you come in and warm up before you walk all the way back into town?” Levy offered, hopeful that he would say yes.

“I’m not in any hurry to get back, so why not.” Gajeel replied while stepping into the building with her. He followed her up the stairs and into her room.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Levy asked while walking to the kitchen. “I’m making some hot chocolate. Do you want some? Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

“Yes, please. Thank you Levy.” Gajeel said softly while looking around her living room. He was amused, but not surprised to see the amount of books everywhere. She sure loves to read. I wonder what her favorite book is? Just as Gajeel sat down on the couch Levy, came in with their drinks and handed one to him.

“I hope you don’t mind, I put mini marshmallows in it.”

“No not at all. Thank you.” Damn it this girl is making me a softie. “Your apartment is very nice. Have you read all of these books?”

“I guess it’s not surprising, but yes, I have.” Levy said with an embarrassed smile.

“What is your favorite?”

“This one.” Levy stood up and grabbed a book that looked like it had seen better days. “I was planning on rereading it.” She turned and showed it to him, blushing slightly. “Have you’ve ever heard of the story Beauty and The Beast? It’s a classic fairytale.”

“Uh no, not really.” Gajeel looked away. “Metalicana wasn’t exactly the gentle type. He didn’t really tell me fairytales that didn’t involve some sort of battle. And I never really got into reading…so…”

“Here why don’t I read it to you, then? It’s not too long.”

“I really should be going, in all honesty. It’s getting late and doesn’t Fairy Hills have a rule about boys in the dorm?”

“Well, yes but I believe our super attendant is a bit distracted tonight, if I saw correctly at the guild. And by the looks of it, the snow really picked up and it would be a bad idea to head out in this weather.” Levy replied looking past him towards the window.

Gajeel looked with her and saw that she was right. It didn’t look like he was going anywhere tonight.

“Ok” He conceded. “I’ll stay.”

Levy grabbed a blanket, sat closer to him so that he could see the book too, and began reading.

“Once upon a time…”

As Levy read, Gajeel watched her facial expressions as they matched the mood of the part she was reading. He loved when her face lit up and her eyes twinkled during the ballroom scene. He watched as a tear fell during Belle’s confession of love to the Beast. He loved every moment of her reading to him. He loved her. When the book was finished, Levy curled into him and fell asleep. Gajeel wrapped the blanket around her more tightly. Maybe this isn’t so bad, maybe this beast can become a prince too. Soon after that thought crossed his mind, Gajeel fell asleep too.

Meanwhile, outside of Levy’s window a certain black exceed was taking pictures. I can’t wait to show these to Mira!

Damon And Elena: In My Veins

Stefan: “Because you were in love with him and he was in love with you, and when Damon died a part of you died too.” ~6x04

This season is such delicious salvation. There’s just no other word for it. 

With the death of the triangle the writers are finally etching the nature of the three most important relationships on this show into stone. 

The Stelena friendship. The Defan brotherhood. And the Delena romance.

Which is how the triangle was always meant to be. After five seasons of tension and doubts and endless bumps Damon, Elena and Stefan have finally reached a relationship balance. One that can and will last forever.

Because now, when Damon comes back from the dead and Elena’s memories return, the three of them can coexist peacefully. Happily. 


And it’s all right there in ‘Black Hole Sun.’ Every second of this episode has shattered long held illusions about the triangle while confirming once and for all that the person in the world who matters most to Stefan and Elena is Damon. That it was always going to be Damon.

That the whole fucking show is ABOUT Damon. 

He’s in every scene, every interaction, his absence as noticeable as his presence ever was. Stefan and Elena’s friendship may appear solid and amicable on the surface. And it is. But every word of their conversations in this episode comes back to Damon. 

Because he’s missing from them. And they both feel it. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Ah, I’m going home.”

“Savannah’s not your home Stefan. It’s an escape. A hiding place. This is your home.”

“No this was my home but I can no longer enter its borders therefore I have a new home.”

“So you’re just gonna throw in the towel and go back to your fake, new life.”

“Look my fake, new life ended when Enzo decided to kill my not so fake girlfriend Ivy so I am going to go home, pack up and start over. Again.”

“By pretending like your life here never existed.”

“You’d be surprised how easy it is to forget the past Elena.”

“But I’m not buying it. You lost your brother. There’s no way that you’re fine.”

“You do not have to worry about me. It’s not like I haven’t done this before. I have a system.”

“Show me. Prove to me that your system works. If I believe that you actually are happy, then I’ll let you go. But if I don’t buy it, which I probably won’t, I will keep harassing you until you come home. And I’m talking about like Enzo size harassment. Deal?”

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Stefan and Elena’s friendship? Because I do. 

It’s exactly what I always wanted for them. Everything about their current dynamic is so positive and healthy and natural, which is in decidedly stark contrast to the forced feel of their romantic relationship.

They were always meant to be like this. It’s actually a breathe of fresh air to see them on such solid ground, so far removed from their ‘epic love’ that there’s no strain or uncertainty around them whatsoever.

They are FINALLY completely comfortable with each other for the first time in years.

Which is really just another purpose behind Elena’s compulsion. To dispel the illusion that Damon was the cause of Stefan and Elena’s break up. 

Because here stands compelled Elena, entirely unaware that she was ever in love with Damon, and she’s utterly unfazed by the idea that Stefan had a girlfriend in Savannah. In her mind, Damon is not even a factor in her past or present relationship with Stefan and she STILL feels nothing romantic for him.

And vice versa. Elena is not the only one whose moved on. Stefan is not pining for Elena or lamenting their break up or trying to get her back.

What he feels for her is just as platonic as what she feels for him.

They are truly balanced now, both of them not only comfortable with the state of their friendship but also comfortable with their vampirism.

They are equals. 

And that’s beautiful. 

“You’d be surprised how easy it is to forget the past Elena.”

I love how he low key throws shade her way throughout this whole episode. 

Because even if he might respect that she was in so much pain she felt the need to compel Damon from her mind to survive, that doesn’t mean he’s okay with it. 

Stefan knows that the only person in the world who loved his big brother as much as he did was Elena. And he took comfort from that knowledge, from knowing someone else was missing Damon too. 

And now he’s mourning for Damon alone. 

Which is exactly why he’s the one who winds up telling her about the compulsion. Why it should’ve been him anyway.

The whole point is that Stefan really does get it. He absolutely understands what Elena saw in Damon, why she was so distraught she couldn’t find it in herself to let him go without being forced to do so.

Because Stefan is no different. He can’t let Damon go either, even if he pretends too around everyone else.

The way that Elena and Stefan feel about Damon isn’t anything that can be erased. His effect on them is such that life without him is actually no life at all.

It’s just some paltry, half-assed existence. 

“Stefan. Health insurance?”

“Yeah. Point is to start over. Pretend to be as human as possible.”

“Ah okay, so no vampire privileges, no baggage, nothing from our old lives whatsoever huh? What’s this?”

“You got me there. Damon isn’t around to call it a granny mobile.”

“Yeah your brother really did love to torture people with nicknames. And just plain torture people.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“So your system for moving on involves both burning bridges and a dead end job?”

“We haven’t even gotten to the fun part.”

“Paying your utilities?”

“No. Deciding who you want to be for the next thirty years. You wanna be an astronaut, you wanna be an Olympic athlete, you wanna skip med school? Boom. You’re a doctor. Go ahead, challenge me. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

This conversation is relevant for two reasons.

The first is the look on Stefan’s face when Elena criticizes Damon.

It’s a barely perceptible tick, an impregnable pause before he responds, but it speaks volumes about how much he hates watching Elena believe his brother is nothing more than a monster.

Even though there have been times throughout this series that Stefan has expected - neigh anticipated - Elena deciding Damon was some irredeemable psychopath and writing him off, he’s now quite disturbed by the version of his brother that Elena clearly has in her head. 

A nice little nugget of character development.

Stefan’s whole arc as a character has always been how important Damon is to him. At the end of it all, Stefan has loved and will love Damon more than any other person he has ever or will ever know. It’s just part of how he’s wired.

His brother is the most important person in the world to him. Even at Damon’s worst, in his heart of hearts Stefan has always loved him. 

Certainly much more than he ever loved Elena.

And now he recognizes that about himself. 

The second relevant aspect of this conversation is Elena’s sarcastic condemnation of Stefan’s lifestyle. 

“So your system for moving on involves both burning bridges and a dead end job?”

“We haven’t even gotten to the fun part.”

“Paying your utilities?”

One of the supposed draws of Stefan for Elena back in the day is that despite being a vampire, he actively tried to be human. He strived for a human life, a normal life even though he could never be truly human again. 

It’s something about him that has never changed. When he’s not off the wagon, Stefan lives as humanly as he is able. 

Once upon a time, Elena might have been charmed by Stefan’s decision to live off the meager amount he makes in a real job as a mechanic, complete with health insurance he doesn’t need. 

But things have changed. SHE has changed. 

She’s not so charmed by the notion of mundanity anymore. 

Because she knows there are better things out there. Exciting, adventurous, passionate and dangerous things. 

Or she did know, before she was compelled. She got a front row seat to a life as far from normal and mundane as possible, courtesy of Damon Salvatore. 

Yet even with the compulsion, even with no memory of a life with Damon whatsoever, she still finds the idea of living completely like a human when you don’t have to laughable.

Much like she never wanted to wind up stuck in Mystic Falls married to Matt and raising their children, she also doesn’t want to hunker down in some town full of strangers, cut off everyone she loves and start working in a dead end job. 

So here’s what this tells me: even without any memory of Damon or their life together, she’s still Damon’s girl. She’s still that girl who was fascinated by a life filled with passion and adventure, that girl who subconsciously sought the kind of all-consuming love she can only find with Damon.

She’s still craving a life of freedom, of excitement and intrigue and no expectations.

She’s still searching for that dangerous love and understanding and intimacy. 

She’s still aching for Damon. 

She just doesn’t realize it. 

“So then why auto mechanic for two hundred bucks a week?”

“No reason.”

“Yeah it must be hard. All that change without a constant in your life? We haven’t talked about your brother.”

“Little weird to hear you refer to Damon as just my brother.”

“What else would I call him?”

“I don’t even know anymore.”

“Anymore? What does that mean?”

I teared up a little when I watched this scene a second time.

Because now that I know Stefan took the job at the auto shop to restore Damon’s car I really just wanted to hug him when he deflected Elena’s question about his choice of career. 

But the real importance of this conversation lies in just how much the compulsion affected Elena’s memories.

The curious part about how she was compelled is that it didn’t just erase the moments that took place after she fell in love with him on her birthday. It didn’t just erase their relationship.

It also erased their friendship. Which existed right in the middle of all the terrible things Damon initially did in seasons one and two. 

They were friends first. That’s how they got to know each other so personally, that’s how they fell in love. Through the intimacy of their friendship. 

And she doesn’t remember that either. Because if she did she wouldn’t keep referring to Damon as just Stefan’s brother. She wouldn’t think of him in such simple terms that in no way relate to her.

So why does this matter?

Because it means the compulsion wasn’t just about erasing the moment Elena fell in love with Damon or everything that came after it. It wasn’t just about eradicating Elena’s love for Damon so she wouldn’t have to mourn him any longer.

Alaric’s compulsion erased EVERYTHING positive about Damon. Even little things from when they first met, things that spawned their friendship. 

Things that made her fall in love with him.

Her birthday wasn’t the first time Damon had ever been selfless with her. It wasn’t the first time he’d been thoughtful or done something to show how much he loves her.

Elena’s birthday was the culmination of dozens of moments where Damon showed his humanity, his love, his complete and utter selflessness in regard to her. It stands out because she believes it was the MOST selfless thing he’s ever done for her. 

But it is by no means the only one. And she knows that. 

Small, selfless acts are part of how they became friends in the first place. 

So simply erasing Elena’s memory of Damon giving her that necklace and everything good he did afterwards that made her love him more was not enough.

Every good memory had to go. 

Because she was in the process of falling in love with him from the very beginning. In order to rid herself of her love for Damon she had to forget every positive thing she ever learned about him. Or it wouldn’t have worked. 

It was never just about the night of her birthday. It was never just about that one moment in Stefan’s room.

It was about ALL of them. Every moment leading up to it and every moment following it. 

It was about their entire relationship from the night they met to the night he died, every single, solitary good thing that ever happened between them even when Damon was in full on dick mode.

That’s always been the most beautiful aspect of Damon and Elena’s story. 

They bonded quickly. Right from the start. 

But they took their time developing that bond before it became something more. Before they indulged it.

Taking out the night they met because Elena initially didn’t remember it, Damon and Elena bonded back when he was as much of a stranger to her as Stefan was. Even though she was crushing on his little brother, Elena still cultivated an understanding with Damon with no effort whatsoever.

They talked about everything, even little things like whether or not she should continue cheerleading.

They fought about everything, even something silly like him trying to make a move on her when he knew she was dating Stefan.

This all happened back when the series began, back before she even knew the brothers were vampires.

And even THOSE memories are gone. The good ones anyway.

Because even then, when her whole romantic life was about Stefan, when Damon was not nearly ready to be with her, when she was not close to comfortable with going there, she was learning things about him that made her love him.

Which is why she doesn’t use his name when she talks about him. Using someone’s name implies a level of familiarity. And without her positive memories of Damon she doesn’t believe there is anything familiar between them. To her he’s just Stefan’s brother. 

That’s why Stefan finds it so weird to hear her call him that. Because even back when they were all just getting their bearings around each other, even before this ever officially became a triangle, Elena ALWAYS referred to Damon by name when she spoke about him with Stefan. 

He became much more than just Stefan’s brother to her a long time ago. 

And that’s part of why the compulsion is so important. 

Because it tells us that this entire show really has been Damon and Elena’s love story. 

As if finding out that she met him before the show even began wasn’t enough, we now have confirmation that every remotely good thing about Damon that Elena ever learned contributed to her feelings for him. No matter how hard she fought it, ran from it, tried to deny it, she was falling in love with Damon the whole time.

That’s why this show is their story and not Stelena’s. Even at a time when Stefan and Elena were supposedly the focus, under the surface something was STILL brewing between her and Damon.

Otherwise those memories wouldn’t have disappeared with the rest. If she hadn’t been falling in love with Damon from the get then she would still retain some positive recollections of him. She’d remember being friends with him.

But it was never merely a friendship, regardless of what she always tried to tell herself.

And I don’t think she even realized that when she asked Alaric to compel her. She’d spent so long hiding from the fact that she fell in love with Damon while she was still with Stefan that she didn’t consider how everything that came before her birthday factored into it.

Uncompelled Elena didn’t anticipate that erasing her love for Damon would make her HATE him. She thought it would return her to a state where she just cared about him, but not so much that she couldn’t live without him.

And that’s how you know that she never merely ‘cared’ about Damon. Her feelings were always more intense than that, even when they were just friends.

It’s all about that understanding they’ve always shared. Intimacy like the kind Damon and Elena have naturally fosters emotions beyond human comprehension.

What they have reaches to the very depths of their souls. So she could never just ‘care.’ 

With Damon and Elena it’s all or nothing. She either loves him or she hates him.

There is no in between. There never was. 

The moment she let go of her original hatred for him there was nothing left for her to feel but love. And vice versa.

She can’t be apathetic about him. She can’t feel for him the way she would for any of her other friends. 

Their passion dictates everything about them. And that includes how she feels. He incites emotions in her that she literally can’t feel with anyone else. 

Even when her humanity was off he was still able to get a rise out of her. To drag hints of emotion, good or bad, to the surface when her guard was down. 

He wields more control over her feelings, her passion, her desire, her love, her compassion than she ever knew. He dragged so much out of her over the course of the last three years that she had to forget ALL OF IT in order to stop loving him. If even one good thing about Damon remained in her memory the compulsion wouldn’t have worked properly. 

Because she loves Damon as a person. She loves every little thing about him and his humanity and his history. She loves him so completely that even learning or remembering one tiny positive thing about his personality would stir a reaction in her.

That’s the real reason she forgave him for all his mistakes. As soon as he did something remotely good or selfless or heroic she allowed herself to overlook his bad decisions. 

Everything good Damon has ever done affects Elena so much that it not only outshines his misdeeds it also supersedes the good things everyone else has done. 

After all she sensed it in him from the beginning. He was the very first person she ever had a reason to fear and she still saw something good in him when everyone else thought he was a lost cause.

She’s that sensitive to his humanity. Even a mere hint of it has more power over her than anything good or bad in another person.

So every shred of his humanity had to be erased from her mind. 

Otherwise she’d still be an inconsolable wreck over him. 

“Hey man. Noticed you weren’t celebrating my engagement. How come?”

“Hard to be happy for the guy who put my brother in the hospital.”

“Oh right, right, right. Okay. Hey remind me which guy was it? Broken nose or fractured arm cause I was kinda drunk. Still waiting for the congrats on my engagement. I’m really happy for you. That all you got? Come on man, hit me.”

I was as heartbroken and horrified to discover Stefan’s coping mechanism for Damon’s death as I was over Elena using drugs and hallucinating. 

This is so painful to watch. 

Because now I understand why Stefan has been so closed off emotionally since the season premier. 

He really doesn’t feel anything. Not anymore.

Losing Damon short-circuited his emotions, making it impossible for him to access the wealth of emotion he’s accustomed to carrying.

That’s why he hasn’t been behaving like himself. That’s why there’s been no hint of his trademark compassion or guilt, no sign that he feels any responsibility towards his remaining loved ones.

Because he doesn’t. He feels no emotional attachment to anything. He’s numb. 

And that’s why he goads people into beating the shit out of him. Because physical pain is the only way he can feel. It’s the same reason he kept Ivy around. 

Much like a vampire without their humanity, Stefan can only really feel physical sensation. 

Which is as upsetting as Elena being so terrified to accept Damon’s death she actually went the opposite route and pretended he never died at all. 

Do you understand now why Damon HAD to die. Why it was the most agonizing and necessary of tragedies.

Stefan and Elena are not made to live without him. 

That’s all his death proved. They NEED him. Much more than they ever needed each other. 

“That’s all you got? Come on man, hit me.”

Everyone has a breaking point. A loss or an experience that they just can’t move on from by natural means, that pushing through the grief simply isn’t an option.

That was the point of Damon’s death. It was Stefan and Elena’s breaking point.

It’s not just that they can’t live without him. They can’t FUNCTION without him. 

Elena had to resort to the witch drugs just to cope day to day. She had to hallucinate Damon, to pretend he never left her at all to get out of bed everyday and live her life and even go through the process of grieving Bonnie in a healthy way.

Stefan tried to start over completely, tried to shed his old life, meet a girl, have a job. But even that was riddled with attachments to Damon. He took the job at the auto shop to fix Damon’s car. He picked fights with human strangers, let them beat him to a bloody pulp so he could feel something. Anything other than the emptiness that came with losing Damon.

They are broken. Truly broken this time. It’s not just about not being able to live. They can’t survive. Their coping mechanisms don’t work in this instance. 

They’re not supposed too.

Damon was the one who held them together, the one person they could always turn too, whether physically or mentally, when they fell apart. 

Stefan made it that 145 years until he came back to Mystic Falls because he knew in the back of his mind that Damon was out in the world somewhere. And that was enough for him. 

The worst of Elena’s trials and tribulations, every moment of pain and loss she’s experienced since her parents died, she survived because of Damon. Because of his strength, his support, his protection, his PRESENCE.

And now Damon is gone. He can’t be there for them anymore, he won’t come when they call, won’t show up in the nick of time to help if they need it, isn’t there to manage even the smallest of problems.

Damon, dysfunctional and impulsive as he is by nature, is their rock. They drew comfort from his unstable stability, his ability to keep things going and save people and provide support while sometimes making mistakes and causing problems for others.

At the end of the day, Stefan and Elena came to rely heavily on Damon’s ability to be the bad guy. Because they weren’t always able or willing to do the same.

But they let him do it. And that meant they were safe. Meant they had someone who really would do ANYTHING for them. Even terrible things.

Damon is a rare breed of person. Someone who loves so deeply that he’s not afraid to use his darker impulses for the sake of his loved ones. In service of their survival. Stefan and Elena understand that about him. They appreciate it now in ways they never used too because they’ve felt the overwhelming impact of his love. 

And that safety net has disappeared. The solid weight of Damon’s presence, of his sarcasm and drinking habits and wild antics is gone. 

They need that. They need him.

That’s. The. Point.

If Stefan and Elena could function well enough to hunt down leads to find Damon and Bonnie, to live normal lives without holding onto reminders of him and resorting to extremes just to survive the day, to grieve him like they would anyone else, then Damon’s death would have been pointless.

The whole purpose is to prove, once and for all, beyond any doubt, that Stefan and Elena can’t do this without Damon. They can’t live, can’t function, can’t be happy, can’t move on, can’t even save the day.

They’re heroes by nature. Compassionate, selfless, overprotective, driven, the whole deal.

And yet they couldn’t find it in themselves to be that way in the wake of Damon’s absence. Their heroism died with him. They couldn’t step up for him because they can’t even get themselves together long enough to function day to day without leaning on a crutch like drugs or getting beaten nearly to death.

If they can’t even pull themselves together to make it through one day, how did you expect them to focus long enough on finding Damon to actually get anywhere. Think about how much effort and time and attention it would take to hunt down those leads, determine if they’re valid, be sure the information they’re getting is real and not some bullshit.

But they can’t even devote enough time and effort and attention to their own sanity. So how can they be expected to traverse the planet in search of a way to save Damon.

You look at them ‘giving up’ on finding Damon, compelling away memories and trying to start over as a sign that they don’t love Damon as much as he loves them.

You’re wrong. The problem is that they love him TOO MUCH. So much that living is a chore now that he’s gone. That being themselves, being heroes, being selfless, being determined, being happy, being survivors is not in their capabilities anymore.

They aren’t themselves without Damon. He took pieces of them with him. Huge chunks in fact. 

Damon took Stefan’s humanity. Literally. Stefan may not have turned it off, but he’s behaving as callously as if he had. Because Stefan can’t be overly emotional, concerned and sweet Stefan without Damon. Because Stefan can’t be the Stefan that Caroline loves without Damon.

He doesn’t have it in him.

Damon took Elena’s will to live. Literally. Elena may not have attempted suicide, but she behaved as haphazardly and desperately as if she was planning too. She can’t be overly compassionate, determined, loyal and selfless Elena without Damon. She can’t be the Elena everyone knows and relies on without Damon.

That’s the point. That was always the point.

They are incomplete without him. Wrecked so deeply and terribly that even the simple act of breathing is more taxing than it was ever meant to be.

You realize how horrible their coping mechanisms are don’t you? How extreme.

Drugs. Hallucinations. Getting the shit beat out of you voluntarily to feel ANYTHING. Any emotion at all, even a bad one. Compulsion. Leaving everyone you love behind to avoid reminders of any kind.

The ignorant complain about how toxic Elena and Stefan’s relationships with Damon are. 

But look at how toxic they are without him. They’ve resorted to the worst kinds of defense mechanisms and grieving methods imaginable just to survive this loss. They’ve compromised their own beliefs, denounced their own morals, become shadows of themselves just to maintain an ounce of their sanity.

And it’s not even working. Because they still aren’t themselves. They still aren’t living.

They’re just existing. Coasting along until they find something to fill the void Damon left in them.

Even though nothing can. That empty space inside them will always be there.

Until Damon comes back that is. 

“Thought you agreed to leave?”

“I forgot my jacket Stefan. What happened with that guy?”

“I told you I have a system.”

“Letting somebody kick your ass so you can feel?”

“You are the last person who should be lecturing me on coping mechanisms.”

“You’re not alone in your grief Stefan. I lost Bonnie when you lost Damon. But I fought through it.”

“Oh yeah, all by yourself?”

“Yes. And it was hard. I know you’re pushing me away because I never liked Damon.”

“Believe me that’s not what it is.”

“And I know that he’s your brother, I get it. But why inflict so much pain on yourself for such a hateful person? He doesn’t deserve your grief, I mean there’s gotta be another way that you can move on.”

“I’m sorry that I can’t just forget him like you Elena.”

“No one’s forgetting him.”

“You are. You erased him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You had Alaric compel you to forget every good thing that Damon ever did. You made him a monster in your mind because you couldn’t handle the grief of losing him.”

“I don’t believe anything that you’re saying, why would I do that?”

“Because you were in love with him and he was in love with you, and when Damon died a part of you died too.”

“Wow. Oh god. What? No. No. Stefan. How can I possibly love Damon?”

“Believe me I asked myself that for a very long time. Then eventually I saw it. Damon inspired you. He pushed you to own the darkest parts of yourself, and when you died he was the only one who could make you feel alive again, and you made him feel human. You love Damon for the same reasons that I love Damon. Because in spite of every single thing that he did, we couldn’t live without him. And now you don’t have too, but I do. So I’m gonna do it my way. You do it yours.”

I was speechless throughout this whole scene. I’m still speechless every time I watch it. 

I knew as soon as Elena started giving Stefan grief for how he was choosing to cope with losing Damon that he’d crack and tell her about the compulsion.

But I never dreamed he would do it in this fashion. 

He did much more than just tell her everything she believed about her life was a lie. He went so far as to tell her that what she’d left behind, what she’d forgotten, was millions of times better than the life she was currently living. So much better that losing that life, losing Damon, had driven her to compulsion just to survive it.

I was as shocked as Elena. 

“Yes. And it was hard. I know you’re pushing me away because I never liked Damon.”

“Believe me that’s not what it is.”

I fucking laughed when she said this. Hysterically.

I can’t even find it in myself to be remotely worried about how much compelled Elena ‘hates’ Damon because when she says stuff like this I remember all the times she’s told him she loves him. 

And that’s just another reason the compulsion was a brilliant approach.

Because of what it says about Elena. 

Her compulsion didn’t just erase her love for Damon. It also erased pieces of herself. Crucial pieces that made her into the type of person she always wanted to be, the person she was secretly longing to be when she was so turned off by the idea of having Matt plan her future for her. 

Damon’s all important speech to Elena the night they met was about more than just what kind of relationship she wanted.

It was about the kind of person she hoped to become. A person who could live as she chose not as someone decided for her. A person not bound by obligation and expectation. A person who was free to be herself, to be passionate and adventurous, to love with her whole heart.

 A person who was dangerous because she wasn’t afraid to do exactly what she wanted and live exactly as she wished too regardless of what everyone else thought. 

Compelled Elena doesn’t know that person. She doesn’t remember her because she doesn’t remember being with Damon. 

Because Damon made her that way. He provided nothing but freedom for her to do as she pleased and be whoever she wanted to be. He provided an atmosphere for her where she could be selfish for the first time in her life, where she could put her own needs above the needs of others.

Damon always did that for her. From the start he was the only one who could free her inner fire-breathing dragon from its prison. That’s why, even when she hated him, she still spent time around him. 

She was free with him. Free to say or do anything she wanted without fear. 

He stoked her fire. And deep down she loved it, thrived on it. 

“I know you’re pushing me away because I never liked Damon.”

Liked? She lived for him. She was made for him.

She adored him. 

Because he saved her. Over and over, everyday for three years he saved her from everything that could ever cause her harm. Even himself.

Even herself. 

But you’re somehow worried the compulsion is going to stick once Damon returns. That it’s going to cause a rupture so large they can’t ever recover from it.


She doesn’t even know herself right now, let alone know Damon. If she did she’d understand that even at their worst she always LIKED him. No matter how much of a bastard he could be, no matter how much he fucked up, Elena always liked him as a person. She enjoyed being around him.

Or they’d never have been friends in the first place. 

“And I know that he’s your brother, I get it. But why inflict so much pain on yourself for such a hateful person? He doesn’t deserve your grief, I mean there’s gotta be another way that you can move on.”

“I’m sorry that I can’t just forget him like you Elena.”

“No one’s forgetting him.”

“You are. You erased him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You had Alaric compel you to forget every good thing that Damon ever did. You made him a monster in your mind because you couldn’t handle the grief of losing him.”

Stefan Salvatore ships Delena.

I swear to god those are the first words that floated through my mind when he said all this.

I mean holy shit.

Stefan is so far removed from ANY romantic feelings for Elena that he actually just threw her own mistake back in her face without hesitation because he’s so offended by how she sees Damon.

“I’m sorry that I can’t just forget him like you Elena.”

Now I knew Damon was going to die months before 5x22. And I knew what it would do for the show and the triangle, how it would set things about the endgame in stone once and for all.

But in my wildest imaginings I could never have envisioned this.

“You had Alaric compel you to forget every good thing that Damon ever did. You made him a monster in your mind because you couldn’t handle the grief of losing him.”

This is exactly the reason season six is pure salvation. 

Because it’s burying the triangle so far below ground no one has any hope of resurrecting it.

There is no triangle. Not anymore. Damon’s death set it on fire and drowned it in the bottom of the Atlantic.

Whatever microscopic amounts of romantic love or sexual tension that might have still existed between Stefan and Elena died with Damon. 

I said it before he ever died. They will NEVER be together again. They can’t even look at each other that way. 

Especially Stefan. He loves and misses Damon so much that he couldn’t even honor Elena’s request that her compulsion be kept a secret from her. He couldn’t bring himself to allow her to stew in her own misconceptions about Damon.

Stefan has finally realized that he’d rather Elena love his brother as much as he does than spend her life thinking he was some terrible person. 

And that’s why Delena is endgame. 

Because even Stefan wants them together. Needs them together actually.

He respects the hell out of them and what they have. And he won’t let anyone tarnish it. 

Not even Elena herself. 

“I don’t believe anything that you’re saying, why would I do that?”

“Because you were in love with him and he was in love with you, and when Damon died a part of you died too.”

“Wow. Oh god. What? No. No. Stefan. How can I possibly love Damon?”

“Believe me I asked myself that for a very long time. Then eventually I saw it. Damon inspired you. He pushed you to own the darkest parts of yourself, and when you died he was the only one who could make you feel alive again, and you made him feel human. You love Damon for the same reasons that I love Damon. Because in spite of every single thing that he did, we couldn’t live without him. And now you don’t have too, but I do. So I’m gonna do it my way. You do it yours.”

I want this engraved on a plaque somewhere so I can hang it above my bed.

Because I basically wrote these fucking words in every post I’ve ever written about Damon and Elena. So either Julie Plec reads my blog…

…Or I’ve been right about this show all along and the writers are finally spelling it out for those who refuse to see it.

I’ll give you a hint: it’s door number two.

“Because you were in love with him and he was in love with you, and when Damon died a part of you died too.”

The fact that Stefan felt the need to clarify that Damon had returned Elena’s feelings, that he felt it was important she understand Damon was capable of loving her in a way that altered her so completely she couldn’t bring herself to live without him, is a sign of how much he really supports their relationship. 

He acknowledges this isn’t just about one of them. It was always about both of them. Together. 

It’s not just that she loved Damon more than life itself, that she oriented her entire immortal future around him, that she learned to be comfortable and confident as a vampire just to stay with him forever. 

It’s that he felt the same way. That he loved her just the same and he never wavered.

In fact no one knows better than Stefan just how much Damon loves Elena. 

For as much as Elena saw through Damon or Damon saw through Elena you have to remember that throughout the whole course of their relationship Stefan was there. On the outside looking in, observing how loving Elena, being around her, changed his brother for the better, how loving Damon, being around him, spurred Elena to be the strongest, most capable version of herself.

Stefan had front row seats and back stage passes to Damon and Elena’s relationship. 

And despite the emotional toll it put on him at the time, in hindsight he recognizes just how good they are for each other. 

In reality a part of him always recognized it. Because as soon as he suspected Damon had feelings for Elena he started to worry about how close the two of them had become in such a short time. He viewed Damon as a threat because deep down he knew.

Stefan saw how Damon brought forth a feisty, fiery Elena that he didn’t even know existed. He saw how Elena resurrected Damon’s humanity without even trying, just by being in his life and pushing him to be the better man.

Stefan saw Damon and Elena’s potential long before they ever did. 

“Believe me I asked myself that for a very long time. Then eventually I saw it. Damon inspired you. He pushed you to own the darkest parts of yourself, and when you died he was the only one who could make you feel alive again, and you made him feel human. You love Damon for the same reasons that I love Damon. Because in spite of every single thing that he did, we couldn’t live without him. And now you don’t have too, but I do. So I’m gonna do it my way. You do it yours.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

I’ve written this about Delena a hundred different ways but never so succinctly. 

And it’s exactly it. It’s exactly why I ship Delena, why their relationship is and has always been the better relationship, why they’ve had the most solid foundation for an endgame and an eternal love since this show started.

It has always been about what they do for each other. What they bring out in each other.

“Damon inspired you. He pushed you to own the darkest parts of yourself.”

This is the part that really gets me. I’ve never thought to say it this way.

But Stefan’s right. 

Damon inspires Elena. He inspires every kind of passion and emotion and possibility and strength and love in her that you could ever imagine. He inspires her to be more, to live for herself instead of for others, to look for potential where it seems there is none, to create opportunities out of everything, to laugh through her pain and smile in the face of danger.

Damon taught Elena to be the best version of herself. 

And he did it by BEING himself. Brutally, sarcastically, unapologetically.

Damon has never been anything more or less than his own person. He doesn’t let other people dictate who he is or what he does or where he goes. He’s his own man.

He’s a free spirit. A rebel with a vicious fire.

He’s dangerous. And that danger inspired Elena to become dangerous herself. To not shy away from her impulses, to ride the line of temptation instead of running from it, to approach every situation from a place of power not weakness.

To own her darkness instead of stifling it.

“And when you died he was the only one who could make you feel alive again, and you made him feel human.”

I can’t even believe he called back to 4x23. The nerve of him.

But he had too.

Because that was his own personal turning point. Listening to Elena detail exactly why she fell in love with Damon is what finally motivated Stefan to begin letting her go. To really move on so he could find someone who could do for him what Damon did for Elena.

Make him feel alive. Make him accept and appreciate every part of being a vampire and living forever.

Give his eternity a purpose. 

That’s all he’s saying here. The transition forced Elena to question if her life was even worth living since she was technically dead. It drove her to her darkest place. Her lowest point.

Damon is the one who dragged her out of it. Who made her question her reservations about vampirism and living forever, who made her feel happy and safe and accepted when everyone else was looking down on her, who made her secure in her own ability to function as a vampire. 

Who gave her life in death. Who turned her worst nightmare into a beautiful dream. 

And Stefan watched it all from the sidelines. He watched Damon nurture and love Elena as she grew into herself, he watched as she came to enjoy living as a vampire because she had Damon, he watched her willingly relinquish the cure because she wanted to be with Damon forever.

He watched Damon do for Elena what Elena had done for him. 

Show him there is genuine humanity even in vampirism. There is light in darkness, good in evil, happiness in despair.

Elena made Damon feel human. Damon made Elena understand that vampires are just an exaggeration of humans. 

In short, Stefan sees Damon and Elena’s relationship for what it has always been predicated on: humanity.

“You love Damon for the same reasons that I love Damon. Because in spite of every single thing that he did, we couldn’t live without him. And now you don’t have too, but I do.

In six seasons I have never heard Stefan say that he loves Damon aloud.

So this is when I started crying. 

Because Damon’s death did its job. That’s all there is to say.

It was meant to confirm that Stefan and Elena love Damon more than they ever loved each other. That of the three of them he is the most important point of the triangle. 

And it did. My god it did. 

“You love Damon for the same reasons that I love Damon.”

It’s like poetry honestly. Like a love song written just for Damon Salvatore.

This is really what Damon’s whole arc in the show has been about. Not just his own path of redemption or his love story with Elena or his reconciliation with Stefan.

It’s about how he influences others. Especially those that love him.

And those that love him appreciate what he brings to their lives in a way only he could manage.

Because in his chaos and intensity and even cruelty he brought clarity. Strength. Support. Safety in the midst of dangerous love. Understanding in the midst of blinding passion.

Humanity. In all his vampiric crazy Damon fostered humanity in the two people who love him most in the world. 

After all Stefan flipped his switch back on in season three for Damon. To save him. 

And Elena both lost and regained her humanity all in Damon’s presence. By his own persuasion. 

THAT is why Damon’s death has hit Stefan and Elena so hard. Because they see no reason to fight for that humanity anymore without him. 

He was the reason they both decided to live forever. And he’s gone.

So what the hell are they supposed to do now when they never intended to live for eternity without him.

“Because in spite of every single thing that he did, we couldn’t live without him.”

What love triangle. Seriously.

There is no fucking triangle.

“We couldn’t live without him.”

There it is. All spelled out for you.

That’s the whole point of this. The writers killed Damon to prove that he is meant to live. That he MUST live or Stefan and Elena will spend their eternity in absolute hell. 

There will be no happy endings without Damon. It’s that simple. 

“How could you obliterate an entire chapter of my life?”

“Look Elena, as much I like to think that I am full of wisdom, I think it’s time we stop pretending that I actually know what’s best. Okay? Look I’ve got my own issues to sort out right now. And I think this will explain it much better than I can.”

“Dear me. If you’re reading this then somebody spilled the beans about your selective memory loss. My money’s on Caroline. Yes you loved Damon. You loved him with a passion that consumed you. And then when Damon died, the void he filled was too deep. Too dark. Facing an eternity without your soulmate, you went off the deep end. You turned into someone that you weren’t: a monster. Alaric can restore your lost memories. All you have to do is ask. But I hope that you don’t. I tried it the other way and I didn’t see an end to the pain. I want you to rediscover yourself in the absence of the one who defined you. If you feel any hope for the future at all, then you’re already better off. You’ve been given a chance to start over. I want you to take it. I want you to be happy.”

Holy. Fucking. Hell.

Did you see this coming? Because I didn’t. 

I knew the Damon box would come back into play somehow but I did not expect this. 

I was not PREPARED for this. 

“Yes you loved Damon. You loved him with a passion that consumed you.”

The fact that uncompelled Elena keeps using the word consume every time she talks about how much she loves Damon… I can’t describe how it effects me.

She has so much appreciation for the way he made her feel, so much gratitude for his presence in her life that she consciously draws parallels to the night they met because she knows that’s where this all started. 

She knows it set things in motion between them long before she ever knew who Stefan Salvatore was.

“And then when Damon died the void he filled was too deep. Too dark.”

There’s a hollowness inside her without Damon. She just said so herself.

It’s more than a hole. It’s a void. A blackhole. 

A massive missing piece of her soul that he carried with him to his grave. A piece she can never get back. Not even with compulsion.

Because forgetting about why it’s there doesn’t mean it’s gone. 

“Facing an eternity without your soulmate, you went off the deep end. You became somebody that you weren’t: a monster.”

Soulmate. SOULMATE.

In over one hundred episodes of this show Elena Gilbert never referred to Stefan Salvatore as her soulmate. Everyone else in her life did. Even complete strangers.

But she didn’t. She didn’t ever think of him that way.

Deep down she knew better. The twin to her soul is not Stefan.

It’s Damon. It was always Damon. His soul has called to her since the night they met, since she was sixteen. It doesn’t matter that she didn’t remember until after her transition. As soon as they were in sniffing distance of each other, as soon as they spoke for the first time that was it. 

The very essence of them intertwined, demanding they circle back and find each other and keep finding each other until that yearning within them was fulfilled. 

And the only way it can be fulfilled is for them to be together. 

Bear in mind that Elena is the one who said this. Wrote it down in her journal for her future compelled self to read. 

This is how she sees Damon. That’s how much stock she put in their relationship, how much faith she had in them and their love and their future.

She never just thought of him as a boyfriend or as someone she planned to be with forever.

She sees him as the missing half of her. Someone who makes her whole. Complete.

That’s why she chose to be compelled. Elena doesn’t just think she lost her eternity or the love of her life.

She thinks she lost her other half. A person who she believes was formed specifically for her, whose heart and soul match up so completely with hers that she’s empty without him.

Elena literally thinks they’re two halves of a whole, not one without the other.

Remind me again who the love story of this show is? Oh right.

Damon and Elena. 

“I want you to rediscover yourself in the absence of the one who defined you.”

This fucking line twisted my mind inside out. It’s like a single sentence summary of everything I have ever written about Damon and Elena.

They DEFINE each other. 

Damon would not be Damon without Elena. 

Elena would not be Elena without Damon.

They are one in the same. They have had THAT MUCH IMPACT on each other. 

They didn’t just become friends and then fall in love and then decide to be together forever. This isn’t a bloody fairy tale.

They CHANGED each other. For better, for worse, in light, in darkness, in vampirism, in humanity, in every conceivable way.

They altered each other so completely and viscerally and permanently that they came to define each other. That people came to see pieces of them in each other. 

That they came to cherish the facets of their personalities that they share. 

And that’s why I have no problem with the compulsion.

Because this is how Elena REALLY feels about Damon. Underneath her reconfigured memories is the primetime, one of a kind, rarer than rare edition of Elena Gilbert. The leather-bound hardback work of art that is absolutely priceless in the eyes of anyone who knows its worth.

Underneath her compulsion is an Elena she only ever dreamed she could be. An Elena who only exists because of Damon Salvatore.

An Elena who will reemerge when Damon returns, with or without her memories. 

The Elena who is critically defined by the man who turned her life upside down and sideways, who made her question her entire existence and future, then made her question those questions, who pushed her to become the most raw and beautiful version of herself.

Hidden within her memories is Damon’s Elena. 

Which is something compelled Elena can’t wrap her head around. She can’t make herself understand what Damon meant to her or what he did for her because no one has ever affected her the way he did.

She doesn’t think she’s missing anything now that she’s forgotten about her feelings for him. She thinks it’s as easy as choosing to remain compelled and taking the advice she gave herself in that journal.

To start over. To be happy. 

The problem is that it’s not that simple. He’s IN her. 

He made her who she is.  Not just a vampire, but the kind of vampire she can live comfortably and happily as. Not just a functioning adult, but the kind of functioning adult who perceives situations in shades of gray, who isn’t afraid to attack a situation head on, who has learned to find happiness in unexpected places, who isn’t afraid to seize every opportunity that comes her way.

This Elena that is pursuing a medical degree and taking an interest in Liam and building a life for herself is the product of Damon’s influence on her.

Intact memory or not, the ways that Damon changed her cannot be undone. His power over her is such that she instinctually strives for bigger and better things even if she doesn’t remember where her renewed vigor for life and eternity came from. 

But she will. As soon as she’s confronted with Damon and their history she will start to feel it again. He will reignite the parts of her that she buried with the compulsion.

He’ll stoke her fire all over again. Call to her soul with an intensity she can’t resist. 

He’ll get under her skin. Because he already is.

He’s in her veins. And no matter how hard she tries, she can’t get him out.

anonymous asked:

Can I just ask what is this Harvey\Donna Darvey thing? I have never seen Suits because it looked to me like a soap with lawyers and I've never been a fan of courtoom dramas. But I can't escape everyone talking about them, even comparing them to Olicity. I just thought that you could provide insight on them, because I'm thinking of shipping them just because of the gifs lol

Oh Anon, once you start, you won’t want to stop….and I highly recommend watching Suits.  It’s such a great show!  I just started watching Suits in January and was sunk by the writing, the acting, and Harvey from the very beginning.  What is it about damaged heroes I can’t get enough of?

So first, Suits is far from a courtroom drama.  In four seasons, there are probably only a few handfuls of scenes that take place in an actual courtroom and they probably register about 1-2 minutes each.  While the background and setting is a law firm and the law, the show is really a character driven story about the lawyers, the characters and how their personal struggles, their pasts, affect how they live their lives, do their jobs and stand by each other.  It’s about morality and the line that the characters push against but try their damnedest not to cross unless it’s about protecting one of their own.  It’s about friendship, love, and loyalty.  The dialogue is sharp, witty, and with a touch of arrogance for every character that works with that character’s personalities.  It’s funny and warm and when you least expect it, it can crush your soul (damn you, Harvey Specter, damn you).

Darvey…where to even start…I started watching Suits because of cammienray’s tweets on Twitter.  I started during winter hiatus and finished Season 4 just after it finished.  BIG MISTAKE. I should have saved it to get me the premiere of Season 5.  But I’m surviving….LOL.

Darvey is a TOUGH ASS ship.  Donna was a rare appearance in Season 1, but damn, she stole every damn scene she was in.  This:

From the pilot and one of the few episodes she appeared on in Season 1. Sarah Rafferty plays Donna to perfection. I fell in love with her in the pilot and with her and Harvey in the pilot.  Anyway, like I said, she’s a rare appearance in Season 1.  She appears more in Season 2, but really takes off in Season 3.  And in Season 4, damn.

I think what makes Darvey so charismatic, so combustible on screen is that the actors have known each other since their days at UCLA.  And that friendship just translates onscreen which just solidifies the storyline that Donna has been with Harvey since his early days as an attorney.  The characters know each other better than anyone, through thick and thin they have stuck together, fought for each other, defended each other and that loyalty has created such a deep bond that the only people who could come between them is each other.  Or rather, Harvey himself.

What I also love about them is that it is so adult.  I’m not sure I can explain this part very well, but I’ll try….while the typical TV romance tropes and beats are there, how they are handled, written, directed, and acted keep them from being mundane, stereo-typical, and trite. There is a level of maturity in those moments that just leave you weak in the knees and it is so real, that you almost forget you are watching television.  The eyes…another couple that just kills you with what they are saying with their eyes and body language. 

Sorry for the 54,565 gifs Anon…I couldn’t resist!  Also, aside from Darvey, and the show itself being phenomenal, it also stars Gina Torres…who I totally want to be when I grow up.