i know I’m just a sad, lonely, depressed fucker who contemplates the meaning of life far too often (to an unhealthy degree)…… but sometimes I’m in such a big mood to talk with you people, friends or just followers, about whatever the fuck is up, just chatting and joking with people, having proper pure fun with another person……. problem is I can’t start a conversation, and I can’t. like,, talk??
I know sometimes she feels utterly useless. But I try to see the light. The memory of the fantastic times we have had; the knowledge that she loves me unquestionably and the hope that one day she will get over this and be happy and “normal.” I honestly believe she can overcome this.
I feel I must try to understand. I must try to be patient and supportive. But there have been times when it has all been a bit too much for me, when I am fed up of being used as a punchbag (not literally), where I think to myself that I would be better and happier on my own. I would be lying if I said these thoughts never crossed my mind.
It’s hard being in a relationship with someone who suffers from BPD. But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD. My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is. Our relationship is a molehill compared to the mountain of a struggle she has to go through to try to overcome her condition. We have shed may tears together, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that I am quite emotional right now.
The Roller Coaster Ride of Loving Someone with BPD
Summary: Elegant dresses, extravagant dance halls, formal dancing that takes your breath away; for as long as she could remember, Nico dreamed of the sensation of being swept off her feet, gliding across a dance floor that was meant to make unforgettable memories. But for Nico, this was only ever a dream.
Note: A thing I never expected would exist outside my daydreams. Inspired by this. Dedicated to my fav rectumlord 8)
I’m not always strong. I’m not always positive. I am human. I cry. I break down. I wish I could take a break from myself. I get overwhelmed. I feel useless. I feel like I have no purpose. Sometimes I just want it all to stop. But I also need to remember that tonight’s feelings won’t last forever. Tonight’s feelings don’t reflect my life. Tomorrow is a new day. I can get through tonight. I got through my last bad night and I will continue to do so. Bad days don’t last forever. I am stronger than these thoughts. I will get through this. I will pick myself back up. I refuse to give up on myself. I will get through this. I will fight. I will win.