i feel this is better and bigger

anonymous asked:

why do you feel so much better?

Because I’m pretty sure that one, Dr Rebound won’t be in the show past this week, and that tomorrow will see Aaron decide to focus on Liv in the second episode, and that will be the end of that. Secondly, I am pretty sure Rebecca’s birth is embargoed and it’s happening very soon. I’m talking like, in the next 2-3 weeks because they’re giving her an even bigger bump tonight, bigger than yesterday which makes zero sense, the birth is coming soon, and it’s embargoed and hasn’t leaked. So things are looking up! 

rommaru

I’m glad you’re feeling a little bit better, and really hope that feeling stays and get bigger. Wish you the very best of luck. Remember, you deserve happiness :)

beyond-far-horizons

You take care my dear. Try and have faith. Things will work out! Fingers crossed for you! (Ps lol about your hatred of brocoli)

yrretsej

*hugs*

Just wanna say a huge thank you to you all! You have no idea how much this helps… sometimes I feel (I think we all do) do lonely in this vast space and suddenly I remember you guys here and feel so warm <3

@rommaru that was especially sweet, I think we all do! Its true..

@beyond-far-horizons And yeah! I do hate the broccoli unfortunately xD trying to find something else that works! haha its easier for me to make a list of what I like than what I dislike… it would be enormous.. 

plus you can see I’m more birdy than just liking feathers and stuff… I do crave red things like a bird lol

janora00

About the question why u’re even doing it: I heard true books aren’t written for a reader but for the author. I guess it’s the same with dojinshis. As long as you’ve fun and are proud of it, you’re doing it right ;)

This is true! I have been thinking a lot about it since I had to take a break from creating… and I do miss it! It’s such a craving I have for creation, in one way or another… if I can’t draw or write down even so my brain keeps creating stuff to entertain itself! lol. 

viviane-lefay

@viviane-lefay just saying, I do love your help.. your posts about health make me aware and serve as little reminders, and quite honestly I’m super indulgent when it comes to food… I need to save myself ASAP.

I mean, its not really my fault entirely that I’m going through so many problems… I have quite shitty chronic issues from the start, but if I can do anything to help this I have to do… 

I can’t really live without certain bad foods, but for now I’m trying to diminish them as much as possible and enter with new foods… my cravings for pasta are the hardest but since I’m almost having no hunger at all because of the GB problems, I’m eating mostly for health instead of hunger… I’ve managed to go weeks without my precious pasta and managed to start whole grain stuff..

I know if I went to a specialist they would say I’m sick as in I have avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder or whatever, and I might have it.. but I also was a very pampered child and everyone used to have problems with my eating behaviors.. now I struggle with a very childish tongue that only likes salty, sweet and mild food… taking the worst out of my diet I managed to now feel the taste of fruits and I’m seriously liking them. I managed to exchange a bit of sweets for nice fruits such as apples and strawberry and I feel so happy about it… let’s see if I can manage to include more and more! I can’t help but have a huge preference for red fruits… its funny.

For now the juicer is my friend as I can get used to tastes before trying the fruit itself that would put me out due to texture or something…

I don’t think I ever went so far to really tell you how bad my situation really is… I have this shitty metabolic/hormonal problem on top of a very bad eating issue.. I don’t really eat much, in fact I eat less than anyone home… yet I gain weight so easily it breaks my heart every-time I check it up. It’s out of control now and I’m up to turn the tide up…

I know my body can’t take it at all and diabetes is just over there waiting me (well it runs in the family!). But I decided this time to change slowly and try to maintain it, so far it has been very difficult but also rewarding in a way. I few happy when I can eat a new food and it is actually good… gonna try to expand my taste a bit, I’m extremely picky and its gone too far..

I’d do anything to avoid losing this GB. TBH I don’t want to be overly optimistic but I think its starting to work… I haven’t got real pain in a week, just mild discomfort… hopefully it goes away… I just can’t let my guard down.

Now yes, I think lemon is very good I’m trying it and the vinegar and gonna take even more lemon after I read an article. I’m trying to eat a few bitter stuff and hopefully I’ll get used to it.. I’ll do it for you! xD 

And of course I’m drinking tons of water! And coconut water and walking everyday… (my brother is helping me)  I’m feeling slightly better already. It doesn’t really mean I’m free from the surgery, but I needed to health-up one way or another… to fix the damage I gained with the course (lol)

About the other subjects, I know you’re here even when we don’t talk much, you’re always here sending me cool stuff and the sweet interactions every now and then are a reminder that I can count on you, honestly I crave coming here everyday and just knowing you and my people are there and thinking about me sometimes… makes life much better. 

I always have sad stuff happening to me (I think we all do) such as my cat and dogs that passed away and the situation of my health and life in general.. and honestly its just so hard for me as a sensitive person, its overwhelming. I’m still grieving over people and pets that passed away years ago and before I can heal it happens again, I guess its life >.< 

Most people IRL would laugh at some of my problems, but you here understand me and my deepest pains I feel more comfortable to talk here than to some of my family…  I know you understand… its so easy to fall on eternal sadness.. I’m naturally melancholic (oh Rhaegar, you do get me!) so its easy to always focus on the saddest aspect, the lack, the defects, the ugly side of life, etc..

Others would shrug and go ahead, but I keep getting hurt by everything… we do need a balance of good and bad things to keep going, so I’m trying to be a bit less negative and enjoy what good I have in life… its the only way. 

As for the more positive post, yeah I think so… in face of some bad things I felt the need to be less dramatic and more realist. I saw the power of stress and depression and how bad it could hurt my health.. back then, I don’t want that again. I’m really fighting back…

A follow up...

I’ve seen a lot of talk after the video I did today and I’m trying to get an overall picture as much as I can. Some people agree with my video, some really don’t and some agree with half of it. No one is wrong and I definitely appreciate the variety of opinions because as I said, I’m not right and I am open to discuss it further.

My main regret for this video was focusing too much on what Felix did and whether I agreed with it or not instead of elaborating on the media side of it all. I did this initially because I wanted to avoid the “youtubers vs the mainstream media” narrative that’s been going around but I can see now that that wasn’t a good idea. It made it seem like I was defending them more than Felix and I was throwing him under the bus. Absolutely not my intention. I think because I’m close friends with Felix that I thought I could criticise him a bit more and explain it to him if he disagreed but to the outside viewer this isn’t apparent and looks like I just blasted him instead in front of a lot of people. 

I do think there were some unethical practices at play with the media, a lot of misquoting and misrepresentation and then other articles taking that and doing their spin on it which muddied the waters more. As I said in my video, it got very messy. Also yeah, it’s a little strange that WSJ would focus on a youtuber making jokes (good or bad) rather than bigger real issues, as Felix put it “I expect it from The Sun maybe but not Wall Street Journal”. 

When I said “WSJ weren’t wrong to run the story” I meant that technically it’s in their rights to do whatever they want. I don’t have to agree with it however and some parts of it did feel a little overly critical of everything while other sections flat out lied about him. Some articles literally called him “Racist” which I mentioned I knew wasn’t true. 

I felt like most of this had been said by everyone else and better, so I made it a shorter talking point in my video which now I see wasn’t a good idea. It paints a picture that isn’t true. I think fear of backlash got to me a bit and I’m inexperienced tackling such large issues so I didn’t get specific. There’s no one right answer to everything but I’m not arrogant or stubborn enough to not listen to others on this and discuss it or even admit when I’m wrong. 

I still stand with Felix as my friend, in fact now more than ever because he needs it. I’ve been in contact with Felix privately over all of this and have shown support since the very beginning. The insane endless attacks on him and witch hunt are out of control and going too far. We all make mistakes and should be given an opportunity to learn from them. 

Little things you can do to feel better if you are trans and you can’t really transition right now

For guys

  • Baseball caps? Those are good.
  • Short haircuts. If anyone questions, say it’s for convenience.
  • For your neck: fang pendants (very badass). Or a dapper lil bowtie.
  • Big ass stompy boots.
  • Those cool belt buckles. You can get a basic one or something with a cool design (like a dragon!).
  • Don’t shave. Let your body hair grow. Unless you feel uncomfortable.
  • Buy some spicy-smelling perfumes or other cosmetics. Or if there is something that says “Forest” on it, this one is also good.
  • If you can, try some weightlifting. It will make your muscles better and release some of that sweet sweet testosterone. But remember, fat and skinny men are also very handsome, so if you can’t, don’t sweat it.
  • Eat plenty of protein for a testosterone boost. Also, zinc from seafood - like shrimp and salmon especially - will help that chemical magic. Leafy greens, pomegranate, coconuts, garlic also help. Watch out for soy and tofu! They raise estrogen. And raisins are great, but dried apricots are not.
  • Remember that no matter what you are 100% man (unless you are a demiguy/bigender, then you are 50% man or whatever it looks like for you, that is still very cool, and if you are genderfluid and currently a dude, that’s still very good and valid).

For gals

  • Kitten ear beanies are so pure and good (just like you).
  • Let your hair grow to a nice length. If anyone questions, say you found a new style.
  • For your neck: simple crystal pendants (very pretty). 
  • Crystal bracelets!
  • Lil ballet flats.
  • Shaving can make you feel a whole lot better. Remember - some cis girls also have to shave!
  • Just a little bit of lip balm goes a long way. Oh! And clear nail polish!
  • Sweet-smelling cosmetics are your best friend. You can probably get on eBay or in your local store a nice bottle of vanilla body mist.
  • Google some exercises for a bigger butt, if you want to try it. If you can’t, remeber less-curvy women are also beautiful.
  • Eat plenty of soy, flaxseed, sesame seed, dried apricots… I know that those give you a bit of extra estrogen. Apparently coffee can also do it? Getting estrogen from diet is harder. Just eat a lot of tasty fresh food. Remember to treat yourself.
  • Remember that no matter what you are 100% woman (unless you are a demigirl/bigender, then you are 50% woman or whatever it looks like for you, that is still very cool, and if you are genderfluid and currently a lady, that’s still very good and valid).

For nonbinary pals

  • Simple beanies.
  • Google “androgynous/unisex hairstyles”. Look how many cool options you have! You might tweak one to your needs, like make it longer, or shorter, or add some cool hair dye…
  • For your neck: scarves. They come in many colors and patterns, cover up your neck so you don’t get cold, also you can hide your neck bump or lack thereof.
  • Friendship bracelets!
  • Trainer shoes.
  • Baggy hoodies are really nice.
  • You can shave and don’t wear makeup. Or rock the beard and eyeshadow look. Or really, anything else.
  • Cosmetics? Citrus and lavender are considered unisex scents. You can also wikiHow to Make Perfume and mix some scents you like at home.
  • Exercise, if you are healthy enough to do it, is good. Try running and yoga. Remember, media sells us the myth that androgyny=thinness, but it’s bullcrap. Fat, curvy, muscular people can all be nonbinary and/or androgynous.
  • You can look up the guys and gals sections too. Maybe you will find something that helps you.
  • Remember that your identity is 100% valid and true, no matter what. Yes, any kind of identity. No matter if it’s a neutral void or a mix of everything, no matter if it’s stable or changes. It’s valid because you are valid.
3

1/∞

6

I made this for Asexual Awareness Week in November, but it turned out to be a bigger project than I expected. O.O But better late than never!

Asexuals are often a misunderstood sexual orientation, and many feel lost and alone due to the sheer lack of information about it! It was so hard to find ANY scientific sources about it for my research paper last year, and it’s all but invisible in mainstream media. So I hope this sheds some light on the subject!

Aces, you are not alone! We are valid and beautiful!!

1. You and your love are both soft and haunted and some people will come into your life and take that softness for granted. This is just how the world is, my darling, diamonds exist but so do wolves and sometimes it is the diamonds that we need to watch out for because they are made of cold and wolves still have heartbeats and are just misunderstood. Navigating the world is a hard thing, especially for girls who are made of story flavoured madness and seeking happy endings here that are harder than finding a pearl in the deepest part of ocean.

2. I have known of too many girls who have both become and died in the embrace of men that should have loved them better but chose to let them go. Both Gods and men tend to treat dreamers and romantics with an equal part of disdain and neglect. I have ached for them, but watching sadness does things to a persons mind and heart.

3. My cousin was a small girl with dreams the size of a country and determination made of a bullet that penetrated every job she ever did. I never once saw her fail and then she fell in love. Even bullets can dissolve when put in enough heat. Watching her melt from a gun to a wound was enough to teach me that alone had a lovely sound to it.

4. Alone and lonely are two different things. Alone means nights with my books. Alone means quiet star gazing and drinking tea drinking on my roof. Alone means hours of self aware retrospection in a coffee shop whilst scribbling poetry. But most importantly alone means not wilting into the arms of a man who may not appreciate the stars and poetry. Lonely is carnal. Lonely is craven. Lonely is sad.

5. I thought I was safe in my alone. But love is a wicked predator, it found my hiding place even in a forest. To do so, it set my beautiful forest of alone on fire.

6. For a while, we were happy. For a while, love almost had me believe that I was wrong. Until the day you left, like a hurricane leaves the ocean. For good.

7. I crumbled. Picked myself up. And crumbled again. Eventually I lost track of how many times I had to get up. Eventually you began to fade into the graveyard of the still living people that have abandoned me in my head.

8. I am better now. The forest of my alone finally has grown back from the ashes. Bigger and better than before, my alone is beautiful. It is slowly filling the graves you left inside me with self love and healing. My alone is softer with my heart than your love has ever left it feeling.

—  Nikita Gill, Alone
Bangtan Fic Rec

All of these are on ao3, they’re all shipping fics. I’ll add more as I read, these are just the ones I’ve read so far. My opinion is in italics, I only added the pairing, summary and theme of the fics, not the warnings and ratings so check those out when you’re gonna read them because some of them contain either smut, death or violence. You’ve been warned.

Fics in this list: 43.


I dream in the shape of your mouth by jonghyun | Namjin, College!AU.

Summary: Seokjin spends a lot of time in the library. Now, Namjoon does too. Taemin tries to summon Satan, and Jimin is a fuckboy.

*Jackson voice* Cute

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast by Kavbj | Taekook, College!AU, Fantasy!AU

Summary: Taehyung has magic in his veins and Jungkook’s determined not to let it kill him.

Dude. This fic is so creative and well-written… I finished it and felt empty.

beat for me (live for me)  by bakkushan | Namjin, Mafia!AU part of the offer me your deathless death series.

Summary: Namjoon’s looking at himself and then at Seokjin and all he can see is Life and Death lying next to each other under a starless sky.

I cried like a bitch with this one, painful as fuck.

All you need is love (and pink) by vppa | NamJin, Angels and Demons!AU.

Summary: Most people only have one miniature angel or devil riding on their shoulders to serve as the physical manifestation of their conscience. Poor Namjoon has five, and they’re all telling him the same thing: “fucking talk to him god dammit what the fuck is wrong with you”

Funny and sweet. I like it.

Can I Get Your Dewey Decimal Number? by melecs| NamJin, Library!AU.

Summary: Seokjin loved working at the library, but some patrons got on his nerves. Take, for example, the grown man who sat in the corner every day and leeched off of the Wi-Fi. And Seokjin worked in the children’s department.

Ah, this is… something else, for sure. Cute as hell. Funny, too.

The less I know the better by mucha | Taegi, Namjin, Fake Relationship!AU

Summary: “Together with their families, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin… Wow, this is formal… Wait,” Hoseok squints at the paper, before looking back at Yoongi with a quizzical look on his face. “They invited you with a guest? But… You’re single, right?”

“Min Yoongi,” Jimin glares at him over the bar, crossing his arms sternly over his chest. “If you’re seeing someone and you didn’t tell us I will kick your ass, so help me god.”

“I’m not dating anyone,” Yoongi sighs, grabbing the invitation and scanning it quickly. The words “with a guest” are underlined and Yoongi can almost see it: the smugness on his brother’s face as he nods with satisfaction, putting the pencil down.

“So what does it mean?”

Yoongi shifts uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding making eye contact.

“I might’ve… invented a boyfriend,” he finally mumbles to the glass in front of him.

This is so good, amazing, incredible. Brilliant. Entertaining as hell.

Star Light, Star Bright (The Last Star I’ll See Tonight) by DreamsOfAnotherReality | Taekook, Yoonseok, Teen!AU.

Summary: Jung Kook and Taehyung fall in love the summer Hoseok goes missing.  

Hoseok just wanted to see the stars and confess to Yoongi gdi bye I’m gonna fucking kill myself.

Creating a home series by CheekyBrunette | Namjin, Foster Parents!AU

Summary: A BTS Foster Care AU

This AU is so cute and fluffy I love Domestic!Namjin

The Professor’s Family series by EquinoxSolstice | Taekook, NamJin, Family!AU

Summary: Professor Kim Namjoon is married.

He doesn’t have a wife.

They have a sort-of son.

And Jeon Jungkook just crossed paths with them.

Read this. It’s great, I promise.

The Greatest by Little_Dimples | jikook, College!AU, Sports!AU.

Summary: Person A is a hockey player person B a figure skater. Person A is told he needs more grace on the ice so he is forced to get lessons by person B. Problem is they hate each other.

Or Person A is Jungkook and Person B is Jimin.

I had so much fun reading this you don’t get it. As I was reading in class i had to hide my face because I was smiling so much. Really good fic.

400 minutes | yoonmin, School!AU.

Summary: Min Yoongi expected a lot of weird experiences to happen when he went to college, but being the roommate of his high school love who apparently “moved away for good” was not one of them.

Angsty but in a good way.

Beta Tau Sigma by bazooka | Namjin, Yoonmin, College!AU, Frat!AU.

Summary: A collection of events occurring within (and without) the walls of the Beta Tau Sigma fraternity house.
At Beta Tau Sigma, there are only a few rules:

1) have a declared major in the College of Music;
2) keep your GPA above a 3.4;
3) don’t let Taehyung into the liquor cabinet;
4) don’t fuck up with Kim Seokjin. The rest is all fine print.

(Rating changed to M for sexual content in ch17.)

OKAY, THIS FIC IS THE END OF EVERYTHING FOR ME. My Favorite Fic Of All Time. Nothing is ever gonna top this for me, even House of Cards. This fic has it all, humor, angst, fluff, smut. Everything. Incredible fic. Golden fic.

cuz in a sky full of stars (I think I saw you) by wowoashley | Taekook, Namjin, Fake Relationship!AU

Summary: taehyung always has bad ideas. and jeongguk thinks this might be the best.

This is so cute and cliché but in a good way, I really love this fic.

ce monde est une têmpete by astringxnt | Taekook, Yoonmin, Namjin, College!AU

Summary: they say that one should fall in love with their eyes open, but Jungkook keeps his closed, and Taehyung is afraid that they’ll fall in all the wrong places.

the concept of strings in space time theory is that on a one dimensional plane, one only has the option of going backwards or forwards in their direction of travel. Jungkook chooses to be swept along into the unknown, with Taehyung as his only anchor.

AMAZING! I really like the plot of this one.

Safe and Sound by bazooka | Namjin, Royalty!AU.

Summary: From a tumblr prompt: Jin is a prince, and Namjoon is his bodyguard.

“You’re sort of bad at this.”
“Nah. You’re safe, aren’t you?”

Prince!Jin. That’s all I have to say about this fic. Amazing.

(thought you knew) you were in this song by expplipo | Taekook, Yoonseok, Namjin, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Taehyung nearly chokes, but only nearly. Instead he raises an eyebrow and puts on the most suave smile he can manage. Hopes he looks far more collected than his for-some-reason racing heartbeat would let on, more suit-and-wine than elementary-schooler-with-a-new-crush. “You like me?”

Jeongguk blushes, and looks at his feet. He’s smiling. “Of course.”

“Really?” Taehyung says. “Like? Or like like?”

(So much for suit-and-wine.)

Nothing to say apart from it being amazing.

Common Thread by sugafree | Yoonmin, Namjin, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Red String of Fate AU where Yoongi doesn’t believe in soulmates and spends a long time trying to avoid a certain someone on the other end of his red thread.

I’m a sucker for Soulmates, but this fic is good regardless, love the way it’s written.

for you, anything by kadotas | Vmin, Yoonkook, Namjin, Marriage!AU

Summary: “Talk dirty to me,” Taehyung says lowly into Jimin’s ear, breath ghosting Jimin’s earlobe, eliciting a slight shudder from the latter.

“I’m not wearing underwear,” Jimin whispers back, pulling back to look Taehyung in the eye.

Taehyung groans gruffly at this, breaking the eye contact to lean down and nip Jimin’s jawline gently. “God yes baby that’s just-“

“I’m not wearing any underwear because you never fucking put the laundry in the fucking dryer like I’ve asked you to 100 times,” Jimin hisses, voice strained with vehemence, glaring at him and Taehyung sighs defeatedly.

(in which Taehyung and Jimin navigate through married life together, realising belatedly that it’s not always smooth sailing.)

Domestic Vmin is the best Vmin.

Let me know by TheOrgasmicSeke | Yoonmin, Yoonkook, Jikook, Yoonminkook, Namjin, Vhope, I Need U!AU, Poly!AU

Summary: Talking about it, of course, became harder as the days passed by. Yoongi could never find the right time to bring it up. He was still wondering if he was just imaging things. If he was just thinking he was feeling the things he was feeling. But that was quickly disproved every single time Jimin curled up around him and Jungkook kissed him. He was a fucking idiot in love with two bigger idiots and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Except probably ruin it by talking about it. Hell, maybe it was better to just never mention it and pretend it wasn’t happening.

So good. No other words.

Find the value of an elephant by tired angry egg (Mirabelle) | Namjin, Highschool!AU, Tutor!AU

Summary: When Kim Taehyung’s academic situation takes a turn for the worse, his mother is convinced to hire a highly recommended tutor in the hopes for a miracle that would turn her son into a conscientious student. Her eldest son, Seokjin, has a far more skeptical opinion on this entire thing, expecting it to be-lest he sugarcoat it-a complete failure. And Kim Namjoon is just really bad at making good first impressions (or second ones, or just impressions altogether).

Cute and funny.

A Sociolinguistic Analysis of Epenthesis in Academic Convergence by bazooka | Namjin, College!AU, Professor!AU

Summary: Epenthesis
A phonological phenomenon in which two disparate sounds meet, creating a third sound between them which wasn’t there before.

There were a lot of jobs worse than being partnered with world-renowned Absent-Minded Professor Kim Namjoon, but Professor Kim Seokjin couldn’t think of what any of them were at the moment.

THIS! IS! SO! GOOD! Honestly, I’m in love with this fic.

The Mark of an Educated Mind by bazooka | Namjin, Metafiction.

Summary: At three o'clock in the morning after he’d been working for ten hours straight and everything he touched came out wrong and all his words were stilted and clumsy and all his music was rough and tangled… for some ungodly reason Kim Namjoon opened up a new browser window, typed bangtan sonyeondan fan fiction into the search bar, and then (god) hit enter.

No comment.

A Wonderful Institution by bazooka | Namjin, Yoonmin, Wedding Planner!AU.

Summary: Kim Seokjin is a wedding caterer. Kim Namjoon is a wedding planner.

Both of them think marriage is a societal construct with no place in modern life. Neither of them would know Real Love if it came up to them at a wedding and made a wager.

I love this fic because it’s so cute and funny to me.

Just Skin by syubology | Taegi, College!AU.

Summary: Yoongi is small and angry and 200% done with having feelings; Taehyung is Taehyung; Hoseok harasses Yoongi with petnames and Jimin ships Yoonseok. That’s basically it.

The fic that made me ship Taegi.

Pour up (Drank) by mindheist | Taekook, College!AU, Frat!AU.

Summary: If you can read this, take another shot.

LISTEN. This fic is so good it’s almost Beta Tau Sigma and that’s saying a lot because I love that fic. Anyways, the story in this one is great and it has its funny moments as well as fluffy and frustrating ones. Great fic.

Sidereal by darling | Vmin, Childhood Friends!AU.

Summary: Here we observe the Earth and the Sun in their natural habitat: each other.

This is all cute and fluffy in some parts but deep in others. Beautiful fic, I like the concept.

half a soul divided by jynxu | Minjoon, Taekook, Yoonseok, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Park Jimin has never been on a date. Nor has he had his first kiss, flirted with anyone, or fallen in love. His classmates would ridicule him and base nicknames over his distaste toward anything romantic. (Look, here comes Saint Jiminie!) Even his younger brother would make fun of him while his parents watched with pitying looks on their faces.

Nobody understood.

or: soulmate au where your soulmate’s date of death is tattooed on your wrist.

This made me cry. At school. No joke my friends were worried. Great fic, read if you want to cry.

Out of My System by xxdevilishxx | Yoonmin, Vhope, Namjin, One Night Stand!AU.

Summary: Yoongi likes one night stands and he understands how they work. What he doesn’t understand, however, is how he ended up in bed with a probably-not-legal kid crying in his arms about his broken heart, because he’s pretty sure (and correct him if he’s wrong) that a babysitting job was not what he was looking for when he went to the opening of his friend’s new club.

I read this instead of studying. Really good and interesting, I like the characters.

refrigerator humming, chewing gum and instant karma by locks | Taekook, Gangster!AU, Mafia!AU.

Summary: Taehyung sets the flowers down on the dining table, plucking the card off the little holder. “Dearest Taehyung, just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you. I hope you’re thinking about me too. Love–” he pauses and squints before cocking an eyebrow and pursing his lips. “Hyung, why is the boss of your little boy band gang professing his love for me?”

Yoongi drops the noodles on the floor with a loud curse as he burns his hand.

Or, Taehyung’s been trying his hardest to avoid Yoongi’s criminal life for a long ass time, but a cute kid and his infuriating father keep pulling him deeper into the mix.

Cute and a good read, the concept is awesome and I like the way it’s written.

House of Cards by sugamins | Taekook, Vmin, Jikook, Vminkook, Mafia!AU, Gangster!AU.

Summary: Jungkook is the heir to a mob empire, the most notorious in the whole of Seoul. Taehyung is a rookie sent in to infiltrate by his select team and bring the empire crumbling down.

“You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated.”

Trailer. This fic. I have no words. It’s beautifully written and the plot is amazing, really interesting and just plain good. The fic to end all Mafia!AUs. Nothing is ever gonna top this for me. It’s also a long read.

Let Me In Or Let Me Down by noraebangbang | Yoonmin, A/B/O.

Summary: Yoongi hates dealing with heat cycles and suppressants and life in general. Everything is a terrible mess, and then there’s Jimin to make things a tiny bit brighter.

Now, listen, I don’t really like ABO, but this fic is so good that I wanna like it because if there are any other ABO fics like this gem then I’m in for a treat.

Kickstart series by Error401 | Yoonmin, Namjin, Vhope, Gangster!AU, Hitman!AU

Summary: Hitman!Yoongi AU.

The plot of this series is really interesting, I read it all in one sitting because I just needed more. It’s really good.

The Still Point (Of The Turning World) by inkingbrushes | Yoonseok, Reincarnation!AU, Soulmates!AU, Multiple lives!AU.

Summary: Because Yoongi doesn’t know how this started, or how this will end, but he knows this simple fact: he knows that there is a love between them that is much fiercer than the burning sun. There is that love then, and there is that love now, and surely there will be that same love the next time.

(Or: the one where they’re reincarnated over and over again and Yoongi meets a different version of Hoseok every time but Yoongi is the only one that remembers.)

Ok, this fic made me cry really hard and I’m still affected by it. It’s beautiful and sad and you should totally read it.

  • Unawakened Person: I'm better than you.
  • Awakened Person: Okay.
  • Unawakened Person: No, really. I am richer, better looking, drive a better car, have a better job and live in a bigger house.
  • Awakened Person: (With no sarcasm) How wonderful that you have a nice house, job, and car. You are blessed.
  • Unawakened Person: Wait! No envy? Aren't you jealous?
  • Awakened person: No, I feel joy for your good fortune and wish you more of it.
  • Unawakened Person: How are you able to be happy for me when I have more than you and am bragging about it?
  • Awakened Person: You see my friend each of us values certain things. The things you have mentioned, the possessions and privileges are not important to me. Love is important to me. Compassion is important to me. Kindness is important to me. When one lives this way then there can be no envy of another's material success.
On Hot Pepper Gaming

Hot Pepper Gaming had its last episode today and I wanted to write something personal about it. I had this joke that I would always say when somebody talked to me about the channel - that it was sort of silly how the most successful thing I’ve ever done was the dumbest idea I’ve ever had. Classic self-deprecation, but the more I said it the more I realized just how important this dumb idea was to me.

Myself, Erin, and Jared started HPG half as a joke and half as a creative outlet to sort of prove that we knew what we were talking about. When we began, we were all lower-rung creatives working predominantly at Maker Studios - a YouTube multi-channel network. My only claim-to-fame at that point in my creative career was that I had something small to do with the Harlem Shake becoming a thing, and I really, REALLY didn’t want that to be the only accomplishment I had in my life.

I approached Erin about the idea, who called up Jared to join up with us. With a borrowed camera, $20 worth of craft supplies, and a weekend of work, we had shot the first three episodes of Hot Pepper Gaming. We planned to post weekly for a couple months regardless of if it gained traction or not, but on the first episode we were already growing faster than we could follow.

It’s sort of a funny thing how collaboration works. I remember being completely fine with filming Hot Pepper Gaming on a white background, but Erin’s simple suggestion that we use a yellow backdrop meant so much to the branding and style of the channel that I don’t think we would have succeeded without it. Erin, Jared and I all had something to contribute to the project, all of which combined together to create something much bigger than the sum of our parts. And because of this we were able to travel around the world, interact with fans, and sit in rooms with people we respected not only as their creative equals, but later on as their dear friends.

There’s so many great stories that I’ll post whenever I get nostalgic about Hot Pepper Gaming, but for now I just wanted to say something small that I think might describe my feelings better than me droning on about this will. We used to film Hot Pepper Gaming out of Erin’s old apartment, and after the first shoot we decided to grab dinner at a bar next door. I remember us all sitting at the bar, eating pub burgers and toasting to whatever the hell we just did, in our post-pepper andrenaline-rushed euphoria. I remember one of us asking hey, what if this actually does well, and then us all shrugging and laughing.

I’m currently on a flight back from Montreal, Canada, where Jared and I participated in Square Bowl, a yearly charity event that this year supported Doctors Without Borders. We were sitting on a balcony of an apartment in Le Plateau-Mont-Royal, watching the sun set over a park that was freshly-covered with snow. He and I talked for a while about how we were raising money for an important charity with a group of friends and creative collaborators we loved; and how so many of them we knew, specifically, because we had hurt them with hot peppers.

I don’t know what I would say to 24-year-old, fighting-tooth-and-nail-to-create-stuff-and-have-people-care-about-them Vernon if I had the chance, but to think about myself then and see myself now is surreal. I owe so much to this dumb little project, and I’ll never forget it.

Thanks

[Issue IS] BTS Jungkook, Expresses Thoughts On Graduating “I’ll Become An Adult With A Sense Of Responsibility”

Jungkook of BTS has received his high school diploma.

On February 7th at 11 A.M., Jungkook was present at the graduation ceremony for Seoul Performing Arts High School and shared his greetings with fellow classmates and teachers. Holding the bright diploma, he was also able to take happy celebratory photos. His fellow BTS members were also present to congratulate Jungkook on his graduation.

At the ceremony, Jungkook said that “it only felt real once I wore my uniform and came to the graduation. It seems like it was only yesterday when I attending the entrance ceremony,” also saying that the time seemed to have gone by so fast.

He continued to strengthen his resolve by saying, “I’d like to sincerely thank my teachers for helping and guiding me through my school life these past 3 years. Now I feel like I’ve really become an adult. From now on, I plan to take on a bigger sense of responsibility and show a better side of myself.” 

Trans cr: Christie @ allforbts
© Please credit when taking out 

Ritsu is such a polite boy uwu… (from this @cutbu comic)

Nessian Lingerie Shop Headcanons

just a little something @nessiansmut and I came up with (is anyone surprised by this point?)

  • So this happens sometime after ACOWAR when Nessian still aren’t together/they haven’t accepted the mating bond but Cass is aware of it
  • Nesta is out shopping with Elain and they go in the lingerie shop in Velaris that Feyre suggested
  • Nesta would just pick out some boring plain things because she’s a practical girl
  • So she goes to try it on and the stuff doesn’t really fit right so the clerk goes to bring her the right size but instead comes back with something super hot that Elain sneakily gave to her and told her to bring it to her sister
  • And Nesta would just be like ‘no way, that’s not what I asked for. That’s a lacy see-through handkerchief you want me to try on’
  • But the shop clerk and Elain would try and convince her to try it on 
    ‘Trust me, it might not be what you asked for but it’s what you need.’ 
    ‘But there’s no point in buying this. This is lingerie for someone who’s in a relationship.’
    ‘Sometimes you can just buy nice things for yourself, Nes. Who knows, one day you might want it and not have it.’
    ‘Just buy it to wear on a rainy day and it’ll make you feel better, trust me. At least try it on and then decide.’
  • And Nesta would finally give in ‘Okay, I’ll try it on and if I get it I’ll get it for myself and no one else.’
  • She finally gets it on after struggling for a few minutes because it’s a lacy, strappy contraption and all nice lingerie is a pain to put on. And she realises it’s not the right size so she tries 5 more sets and 3 different sizes because we know Cass said she has big boobs and let’s be honest, shopping for lingerie when you have bigger boobs is the biggest pain in the ass
  • So she’s about to give up muttering to herself ‘I don’t know what Elain’s talking about with this whole lingerie thing this is so stupid’ and ‘normal people can’t possibly wear this. Why does it need so many straps this is crazy’ and she finally looks in the mirror thinking she must look ridiculous in that set too
  • But she loves it. It’s very scandalous, it’s nothing like what she’s used to from the human realm. Her body is covered in fine lace and a criss cross of red straps and it’s hugging her body perfectly
  • And without even realising she thinks about how Cass would react if he saw her in that and she lets out a bark of laughter at the mental image but then she imagines how his expression would change and his eyes would darken and slowly drag over her body and linger for just a second longer in some places
  • She flushes and realises she’s thinking of Cassian which she definitely shouldn’t be so she just gets back to trying on the lingerie and seeing if she likes it
  • Meanwhile, Cassian is training with Azriel and has no idea this is happening. Until, that is, he suddenly gets a mental image of a bit of skin, a flash of a bare calf or something and he just brushes it off and thinks he must be imagining things and continues sparring with Az
  • But when she starts thinking about him, Nesta unconsciously opens up her mental shield and starts sending stuff down the mating bond to Cass without realising it
  • So suddenly, Cass stops seeing Az and the training room around him and what he sees instead is Nesta. Nesta in a pair of deep red - as red as his siphons - lacy lingerie, hair tousled and face slightly flushed from all the dressing and undressing she’s been doing. And she’s pushing her boobs up checking to make sure nothing falls out, and adjusting the straps, completely unaware that Cass is seeing everything
  • AND THE BAT. JUST. DIES. He’s just completely frozen in shock.
  • And Nesta’s hands trail down her body to her waist, and she’s adjusting the sides of the knickers before turning around to check out the back (which is the moment when cass truly thinks he’s died and gone to heaven)
  • And Elain asks how she’s doing and Cassian would realise she’s in a shop trying stuff on and he realises that what he’s seeing is 100% real and 100% Nesta and that’s 100% what’s she’s wearing or isn’t wearing at that moment
  • Nesta just sighs and tells Elain she’s okay and she just hooks her fingers in the waistband of the underwear and starts to slowly roll it down her hips and Cassian is about to E X P L O D E
  • And that’s when Az punches him in the face and he gets pulled back to reality
  • Cassian is so angry. Because Azriel punched him. Because he was to distracted and didn’t defend himself. Because he didn’t see what Nesta was going to do next. And because his face hurts Cauldron damn him!
  • So Az asks him what’s wrong and why Cassian froze and had his guard down for so long and Cass tells him and Azriel just laughs himself hoarse. ‘I knew Elain was going shopping but I had no idea she was bringing Nesta’ and ‘If what you saw is anything like the stuff Elain was trying on, I get why you’re in deep shit brother but get it together, i was still able to fight!’
  • Cass would be running his hands across his face and through his hair and pacing trying to calm himself down “Cauldron! And I thought the night court dresses with lower necklines and no corsets were bad but this is pure torture!” 
    “Well if you’re lucky, brother, she’ll actually let you see what she got in person.”
  • Fast forward to the next day when Nesta notices the purple bruise on Cassian’s cheek and she’s like ”Did someone finally get fed up with you and your smart mouth?” and Cassian just thinks “Oh, sweetheart if you knew this was all your fault.” But he doesn’t say that. And he desperately wants to ask if she got that red lacy lingerie set but he doesn’t do that either.
  • But just a bit later Nesta does something and the neckline of her dress moves and Cass sees just the tiniest bit of red lace and and the image of Nesta in the changing room is suddenly fresh in his mind again and he has to leave and cool down before he’s decent again
South Node: Bad patterns

South Node is where we are comfortable so, sometimes we have a tendency to stay there with that traits and we don’t change.

South Node in 1st House: “I have myself, I don’t need other people, I can do everything by myself!”

South Node in 2nd House:“ I have what I need, I don’t need to share, why don’t other people share it as well or work as I did?”

South Node in 3rd House:“ I already know that, why do you think you’re smarter than me? Why should I explore when I have a great neighbourhood here?”

South Node in 4th House:“ I had a hard life already, why should I get even more tired and work harder? I don’t need to achieve anything else, I already have a foundation to fall in!”

South Node in 5th House:“ Why should I connect even more with people if I’m happy the way I am? Why can’t you let me have a little fun and enjoy life, why do I always have to care about how it will influence others lives?”

South Node in 6th House: “ Why can’t I help that person and do that job and fix that thing all at the same time? Why do I need to rest? I have energy! I’m not weak! Why do I need to get in touch with my soul if he’s not gonna help me with this?”

South Node in 7th house:“ Why do I have to focus on myself, can’t you see they need me, can’t you see that everybody needs me, I don’t have time for me! Why should I get to know me better if I’m not interacting with myself in the world?”

South Node in 8th House:“ Why should I keep something if it doesn’t have meaning? For my comfort? I don’t think so! Why do I need to stop taking things so deeply? Why do I need peace? I like living in chaos! I don’t need a quiet space and why should I appreciate things if they all end?”

South Node in 9th House:“ Why can’t I just learn about the whole world? Why do I need to focus on little things? Why do I need magazines and newspapers to know what’s happening? I can go and discover by myself! Why should I focus more on my environment? I’m a part of the whole world!”

South Node in 10th House:“ Why should I stop creating so much goals? Why should I focus on my soul too? I am fine and I need to achieve something to feel important! No, I can’t go home! I need to be important to the world!”

South Node in 11th House:“ Why do I need to focus on my life and the good things about her, when there is so much things happening in the world? No, I can’t turn the TV off, I need to know what’s happening in the world! No, I can’t go to the party because there are better things to do than enjoy that little party, the world is bigger than that!”

South Node in 12th House: Why do I need to focus more on reality when I created just the right world for me? Why do I need to serve others? They serve themselves! Do you need help? Oh, you have my soul here for you, take it, I don’t need it! Why should I work for that if nothing ever works for me?“

4

ALEK WEK - photography: Txema Yeste - styling: Bernat Buscato - hair: Lacy Redway - makeup: Tyron Machhausen - manicure: Natalie Pavloski - set design: Chad Dziewior - text / interview: Irene Ojo-Felix - Models online editorial May 2017

  • “Feeling comfortable in your own shoes. I think it’s good to be able to say to a young person that you are enough. You can improve but it doesn’t take away who you are. Some people are loud, some people are shy, it doesn’t make them any better or any less.”
  • “Being iconic means inspiring change. I feel my parents raised us to be thinkers and good human beings the best that they could. I didn’t want to just model for the sake of vanity, I knew that there was a bigger purpose, being able to shed light on important issues like the refugee crisis.”

featured: Jolibe bolero - Hndwvn coat - Jolibe dress - Pierre Hardy slippers - The Row jumpsuit. Wanda Nylon trench coat. Newbark slippers

'Meet BTS, the K-Pop Group Loved By Wale and Charlie Puth'

Teen Vogue: How did you feel about landing in the U.S. iTunes Top 10 in February?

Rap Monster: Reaching the top of any music chart is a thrill, but this was a shock. We were on [a strict TV appearance] schedule at that time, so it wasn’t like I could scream or anything (laughs).

Jin: It was ‘Wow. Are you serious? Really?’ It was similar to what I thought when I first heard that Wings charted at 26 on the Billboard 200 last year. How cool is that!

Teen Vogue: For those new to BTS, what song and which video should they check out?

RM: Hmmm, it’s like choosing between your mom and your dad, who do you like better! “Fire” was loved by so many, so that’s the song.

Jin: I’d recommend “Blood Sweat & Tears” because I got the lead role and I kind of lead the whole story of video! And, of course, it’s beautifully designed and choreographed.

V: I, too, think it’s “Blood Sweat & Tears.” It had so many metaphors and I had to make a lot of guesses to understand the relationship between characters. And there’s a scene where I make a strange smile to give you a chill, which I love!

Teen Vogue: Rap Monster, K-Pop groups usually have designated roles for the members and yours is BTS’s leader, but what does that mean to you?

RM: It’s my official role to represent BTS to the world and it’s been a chance for me to mature as a person, but, behind the scenes, I’m just one of seven members and I’m inspired by the others all the time. I get free life lessons from J-Hope and Jimin, sometimes it’s like they’re 10 years older than me.

Teen Vogue: OK, let’s play a little game. You’re now at the mercy of another member describing you.

Jungkook: Jin used to be an ordinary guy in the team, but he’s the mood maker now. He’s the most wicked and funniest of all. No one in BTS is normal though, come to think of it.

Jin: Jungkook’s delicate voice always mesmerizes our ears and that’s definitely his role in BTS.

V: Jimin is a real piece of cuteness, like the youngest in the family.

Jimin: V’s specialty is getting all the attention from others onto him!

J-Hope: Suga is a true caretaker. He’s kind of a hidden leader who takes care of everyone.

Suga: J-Hope’s a real hope-maker. He’s such a ‘hope-generator.’

Teen Vogue: BTS have become highly respected for penning their own tracks. When you’re on tour, do you make time to write?

RM: Mostly we’re in the hotel when we’re not on [our promotional] schedule so I bring all my equipment. I wake up, if I have a rehearsal, I go do that and when I come back to the hotel, I sit down and turn on the laptop, cause I’ve got nothing to do without that!

Teen Vogue: When you’ve got a new demo, such as the rough guide to Wings, do you take it to another member and play it and ask for feedback?

Suga: I usually have as many people listen to it as possible because I think it really helps make it a better track. I always get great feedback from the rest of the band.

RM: Firstly, I take it to (BTS’s executive producer) P.Dogg. If he likes it, he sometimes puts it into the album. I really trust him, he’s got the eye for it.

Teen Vogue: If P.Dogg says no, will you fight for it?

RM: Yeah, of course, I really fight for it! I’m like, ‘Hey, this is the thing I gotta do right now. If you won’t do it, I’ll put it into my mixtape!’ The last one I fought for was ‘Reflection’ — there’s an original version, a whole different song. He didn’t not like it, it just didn’t fit the Wings concept, so I’ll release it myself someday.

Suga: I think I kind of did for my mixtape, because I felt I should as AgustD [my solo moniker], and I’m glad I did.

Teen Vogue: Speaking of mixtapes, J-Hope, we’ve been looking forward to hearing yours. What can you tell us about it?

J-Hope: I’m working on it as we speak and my inspiration really depends on my daily mood swing; sometimes I like to go strong and sometimes I make softer sounds. Since it’s a mixtape, I’m trying to experiment with various genres to test myself.

Teen Vogue: Jungkook, you recently covered Charlie Puth’s “We Don’t Talk Anymore” — you teased it in January but didn’t release it until the end of February. Were you making changes? And will we hear your own songwriting any time soon?

Jungkook: I recorded it several times until I was sure that it felt and sounded perfect. I was more than ready to share it because I knew fans had been waiting, but we had You Never Walk Alone being released and I thought I’d better wait until BTS wraps up the official activities for it. I don’t feel confident about writing any of my own [material] yet, but if I ever write a song, I’d like to work on a very soft and sweet vibe.

Teen Vogue: The bigger an artist gets, the more people will try and bring them down. How does BTS deal with that side of fame?

Jimin: I’m a very positive person and I don’t easily get intimidated by people who try to bring me or BTS down. Besides, my family is always there for me.

RM: These days, I try to take everything as my fate and respond with dignity. I accept it, it’s like a shadow, it’s just there.

J-Hope: I had a firm belief that I was going to be a successful artist, and that led me to what I am. I draw all the strength I need from that belief and try to share my energy with other members as much as I can.

Teen Vogue: Rap Monster, you’ve just released a collaboration with rapper Wale, which came about through a BTS fan helping bring you guys together over Twitter. What can you tell us about working together?

RM: When he suggested the collaboration, that was a real shock. I thought about it, [and was] like, should we do a party song? But I wanted to do something different. The title is “Change” — in America. They’ve got their situations and we’ve got ours in Seoul, the problems are everywhere and the song is like a prayer for change. He talks about the police, and problems he’s faced since he was a child. For me, I talked about Korea, my problems, and about those on Twitter who kill people by keyboards.

Teen Vogue: Let’s do a finishing quickfire round! BTS experiments with a lot of genres, which one has been a challenge?

V: I always find rock difficult.

RM: I’m always ready to be challenged, like, “Wings: Outro,” it was hip-house, that was the first time I’d ever listened to that genre… but I liked it.

Teen Vogue: What do you want do while you’re in America?

RM: I want to go to Barneys and Supreme! I want to see buildings and people on the street, their faces, what they talk about, how they walk. I do that in Korea. I go to somewhere I haven’t been and just watch people and colors, that’s my inspiration.

Jimin: I really want to go on a day trip with the members. Or a picnic to Central Park on a sunny day would be nice.

fall

or…lena doesn’t stop believing in the one person who believed in her

(or…the terrible thing i wrote to get rid of writer’s block and it’s long and sad but has a happy ending)

Supergirl dies on a Wednesday.

Sometimes, when she’s alone in her office in the wee hours of the morning, still in yesterday’s clothing and unsure when she’d last eaten, she thinks about that, the utter normalcy of losing National City’s hero on a Wednesday. Somehow, the death on such a boring day of the week provides a sort of stark contrast that Lena has trouble wrapping her head around. After all, surely the hero and pride of National City would fall in a blaze of glory on a Friday night, a Sunday afternoon, even a Monday morning during rush hour.

But a Wednesday? Some time between mid-morning and noon? When nothing was happening except for the drudge of the week, the tireless churning of society?

She doesn’t understand it—has tried to come to terms with it with very little success. In her weakest moments, when she’s staring down the end of a bottle of whiskey or wine (before Jess or Maggie or even James Olsen pry the bottle from her fingertips and help her get home), she thinks the very banality of Supergirl’s death is evidence of its unnecessary nature, its needless, pointless, meaningless, asinine

Supergirl dies on a Wednesday.

By Friday, the President herself comes to National City to mourn the fallen hero. She talks about the few short conversations she’s had with Supergirl, how everyone should be inspired and follow Supergirl’s wonderful example. A true hero, an exemplary citizen.

(Lena doesn’t go to the ceremony. She and Alex spend that afternoon in Kara’s apartment, sitting on Kara’s couch, Alex stoically staring at the television screen with silent tears running down her cheeks and Lena gripping her hand so tightly she thinks she’ll break fingers.  

After that, Lena doesn’t see much of Alex at all.)

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