Tomorrow, Colin will be at the New Jersey convention, answering questions and meeting fans and being a little cupcake all over the place.
So I’d like to take a moment to beg the fans attending this convention to please, please, please heed the following advice. Mind you, I’m not telling any of you what to do - you’re all free-thinking folks who can (and will) do whatever you like, and that’s fine, but please consider these things, as well.
- WATCH SOME OLD PANEL FOOTAGE if you haven’t already. I have a feeling most of the people following fandom hijinks on Tumblr are exactly the folks who don’t need this advice, but every time I see someone ask him something he’s answered already at each of the last five conventions, a part of my soul freaking DIES. Yes, this goes for “How much do you miss Jen?” and “Do you miss Captain Swan?” questions. He’s been asked them. They’ve been answered. Stop already.
- DON’T ASK ‘OLD STANDBY’ QUESTIONS. “What superpower would you want?” or “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” have been asked so many times. We already know the answers, and they’re not that interesting in the first place.
- KEEP HIS FAMILY OUT OF IT. If you’re in a meet and greet and you send best wishes to his family, that’s probably okay. However, it’s best to keep his family out of panel questions entirely. He’s made it very clear he doesn’t want to talk about them extensively with fans and there’s simply no need to put him in that kind of position.
- BE RESPECTFUL. Look, I admit I love it when he gets asked saucy questions. And yes, he’s fucking adorable when he stammers or blushes. But remember, he’s a real human being with real feelings. Make sure if you’re going to toe the line that you’re on the right side of it. No one should ever make him feel truly uncomfortable or disrespected. You might feel like you know him intimately, but you don’t. You’re a stranger to him - and if a question or comment would sound skeevy to you coming from a stranger, it’s gonna be just as skeevy to him.
- DON’T ASK FOR SPOILERS. He’s not going to give away anything about upcoming episodes, so don’t waste your precious time with him asking for them. He’s just going to say that he can’t say anything about it… and move on to the next question. Disappointing for you, and boring for others at the panel or watching at home.
- DON’T ASK HIM AND JEN TO DO THINGS. Colin tends to be very accommodating on his own and will usually recite lines or sing a little or do whatever fans ask of him, within reason. Jen, however, does not. In a dual panel, you’ll end up wasting your question if you ask the two of them to sing lines from their duet or do just about anything else. It will most likely be a no. One exception might be the “head on shoulder” shtick from SDCC - but as they’ve already done that this summer, it might still be a no even on that one.
- ASK HIM INTERESTING THINGS. I recently saw an interview with John Cleese and he was asked for the most interesting question a fan had ever asked him. He recited a story from ages ago, when an older lady stood up and had the whole, ‘Excuse me, I do hope this question is acceptable…’ and then followed this up with, “Did the Queen kill Diana?” Decades later, he still remembered this woman and her question - and it still made him laugh. I’m not telling you to ask Colin if the Queen killed Diana, since he likely wouldn’t find it as funny as Mr. Cleese did, but you could ask him something equally off-the-wall and unexpected. Something to make him laugh. Something he’ll have FUN answering… and something he’ll REMEMBER fondly.
So what SHOULD you ask him? Well, here’s some ideas:
- How happy was he to get to play Old Hook again? Go on, let him gush about it now that he finally can XD
- How hard was it to not move or blink in 6x20?
- Does he ever visit Tumblr to see fans’ craziness? XD
- What’s he think about Pluto (that’s messed up, right)?
- What’s his favorite scene with [someone other than Jen]? He gets asked a million times for his favorite CS scene, but I bet no one’s ever asked him for his favorite scene with Sam Witwer or Raphael Sbarge.
- How’s he managed to cultivate such an awesome pain face?
- What’s his wildest green screen story? We know about Jen and the huge green donut and Josh and the giant pickle… What’s his weirdest moment with the green screen?
- Is he going to dress up for Halloween? As what/who?
- What’s something he improvised or added to a scene that he’s most proud of?
- Print out a screencap of that shirt from The Clinic and ask him if he remembers it and if he thinks it’s as bad as we do.
- What’s his favorite bad joke or pun?
- Does he feel cheated by the fact that Hook’s costumes are always so similar to each other or straight-up the same thing?
- Ask him about knocking his head on the floor coming out of the portal in 6x17, because I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the script.
- What’s he think about that body pillow? XD
- Preface this question with some explanation about how you feel like he might be uniquely qualified to answer something you’ve been pondering about for quite some time now, or you’ve traveled a long way to learn from his expertise after all of his time working with them… and then finish by asking if krakens have bad breath.
- Is filming intense scenes like the underworld dungeon scenes in S5 fun or are they uncomfortable and awkward?
- Are his family and friends still teasing him about his fame and what crazy things his fans do? Because someone created a version of Botticelli’s Birth of Venus with him as Venus and someone needs to be teasing him about it, like, pronto.
- Ask him (or anyone, I’m not fucking picky people) about this fucking horse head in this fucking set photo. For the love of fuck, I need to know what this horse is doing there. [insert more swearing]
- Check out my Questions for Colin tag for some more off-the-wall questions to ask our favorite guy.