i feel so much better today cries

HRT
Day #12
05/12/2017

So yesterday was a real emotional roller coaster.
I was thinking about #MothersDay and my thoughts were all good at first, I have a few mother like figures in my life that I am so blessed to have. But then, all of a sudden my brain took a detour and I was literally boo-hoo crying at the thought that one day, my moms, the women who very much contributed to who I am today, will one day pass. … I have never NOT been able to control my emotions like this. I have always been one of those people that in times of high anxiety or stress, something in me switches off, and I show little to no emotion. But yesterday… It was like every time I thought I had it together, thinking good thoughts… nope, brain detours back to traumatic thoughts and she is crying again. So basically I cried a lot yesterday over Mother’s Day.

Good News!
Today I feel better.
I have plans to have dinner with My mom tomorrow, going to go where ever heart desires. She has transformed her life lately with a knee surgery and some major life changes that have got her out camping and doing the things she loves again. It is a beautiful thing honestly, it has inspired me so much to take charge of my own body, mind & spirit. Then on Sunday, We are going over to cock dinner for George’s Mom, she has been in okay health as of late, so not good but not awful. So we are going to go spend some time over there. She doesn’t know we are coming so we hope she is pleasantly surprised. We also managed to get his sister’s in on it, and together were going to grill out and we created a meal with all of the things that his mom can eat. She has a lot of diet restrictions, so getting together for a family meal is a little more difficult, but I think George & his sisters really pulled something nice together, I’m excited.

HRT is a huge milestone for me and I wonder often, how in the deep south I managed to be blessed with not only a loving and accepting birth mother, but in my 24 years I have met and been loved & accepted by so many other mom’s.
Love on your Mama this weekend!

Xoxo
-Elliott Alexander

anonymous asked:

I was having a pretty emotionally sad day today but this video made me smile so much they are good :(

omg i’m so happy they were able to make you feel a little bit better. lol i had to watch it in secret in a bathroom stall at work and i feel bad for anyone who was trying to have a peaceful pee and heard my muffled snorting in the background. i laughed so much i cried … they’re so fucking ridiculous in every way

burthday gorl

the real stuff is in the letter dw
@killapunk

anonymous asked:

I hope you feel better soon. You're honestly one of my favorite artists and I would hate for you to feel like crap. So just draw whatever you like, and whether you post it or not, I bet it'll be a beautiful piece. And don't worry, I've also cried in front of my classmates, and I just drew a random drawing after to ease my mind a bit. I just hope you feel better soon. Stay strong.

aaaa thank you so much anon ;; I hate that my professor was there too so he probably thinks i’m pathetic, oH WELL.
But I’m feeling a lot better today, I drew something for myself because I’m sure that the art block is because the last time i drew something for me was like one month ago so I really need a break from college and zines.

Thank yoy so much <3 Hope you have a good day

anonymous asked:

Watched again today. Liked 411 so much better. Interesting thing to note: Jasper's death scene. He says to Monty "Tell me you love me. Or you'll regret it." And a minute later, he REITERATES "If you feel it, say it." I think this is a powerful message being spread amongst the characters now. I cried again even though I tried not to because Devon is so brilliant. But we've got ILYs running around all over the place in S4. Let's not lose Bellarke hope quite yet. Also, I read a lot of people 1/2

2/2 saying Bellamy walks out with O after she drops the bomb of saying pick your 100 people, you’ve got 12 hours. But that’s simply not true. The final shot is a close up on Jaha’s face and from left to right: Bellamy, Kane, Abby, and Clarke. Kane reaches for Abby’s hand, too. So sweet. #KabbyForever. Bell has the same looking down/no eye contact look when Kane’s talking Clarke had when Jaha tried to defend his bunker choice. But now it’s about who they’ll save. Kane says they’ll save Raven.

Good point about telling people you love them. 

Always be careful about rampant fan conclusions. They are not always correct. Sometimes they misinterpret stuff or get it wrong, sometimes they are using a word to define something that is wrong. Like someone just called the Raven mention foreshadowing for braven. Nah, man. That’s just saying they’re going to get her. Foreshadowing has to have a bit more context. 

5/20/17 🎓

So I graduated today. It went better than what I had expected and I only cried a lot afterwards. I didn’t talk to W at all, but I got to see him a lot. After he said the guy’s name that was in front of me, I started walking up towards W. I looked up at him and he smiled so brightly at me 😍 I did the same and omg I love him so much! He then said my whole name perfectly (And I got a video) ❤️ So I feel like that smile said it all. He didn’t really have to say anything, it was all in that big beautiful bright smile of his. After the ceremony, everyone went into the cafeteria to meet up with people and take pictures. I found my parents and they soon left. I wanted to find C right away because I invited him and I didn’t want him to leave or think that I left. I looked everywhere for him but there were just too many people. The crowd was so insane. I took a picture with my business teacher aka W’s friend on the way back to the gym. I looked into the gymnasium and saw C right away. Our faces lit up and he hugged me ❤️ We got a picture together and I told him that I was so happy that he made it and he told me that it was great attending. He was kind of getting emotional because he told me that in all of his years teaching, no one has ever invited him to anything. So I was very happy to be his first! 😉 I talked to him for a really long time. I told him that a lot of people in my class turned into real assholes and he was kinda surprised that I swore, but then he told me that it’s just the way the world is and he said that there are a lot of assholes out there 🙈 He felt bad and told me to go out and mingle. I asked him, “do you still want to keep in contact…my school email is going to be deleted so I can send you my personal if you want? Maybe we can meet up and get coffee or something sometime” HOLY I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR SAYING THAT. “That sounds great! And it’s fine now!” He was so paranoid when I was under 18 and still a student 😂😅 We hugged each other tightly again 💖 So I am really happy with that! I ran into O leaving and we took a picture together. He made fun of my Adam Levine phone case and I was like, “you’ll never forget me!” “Haha nope!” I looked everywhere for W but he was no where to be found. I figured that he left right away because it was pretty late and he lives kinda far and because of his kids. I can’t even tell you how disappointed I was, but maybe it was for the best. He never said anything about the letter and he had quite a few opportunities to. But like he never said goodbye so maybe it’s not the end…he never said anything. I don’t know how to feel. I am happy because I am getting older and he probably won’t see me as a kid anymore and I don’t have to see any of those assholes ever again. But I am so fucking sad because I lost a huge part of my life. I can’t explain the feeling that I got when I knew I was going to see him, and I don’t get to feel like that anymore. W, if you see this I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. Thank you for everything ❤️ Until we meet again…

BTW, I feel so much better today. I cried A LOT when I went into the apartment, but my mom was awesome and just took charge. We got it all packed, he’s letting me store stuff in the closet since I don’t have an apartment and I’m still paying part of the rent (I know, I know, he should take it on, Goodness knows he’s got a high enough income to afford the place COMFORTABLY). 

ANYWAY, I left him a note explaining what was left, why, and what’ll need packing when I move officially. 

Guess what, he called me like immediately. Asked if this means it’s over-over.

DUDE. You broke up with me. I said, “Well, what am I supposed to do?

I just finished a panic attack triggered by my family laughing at my medical condition and reminding me they don’t give a shit about me. They strongly believe this is my therapist’s fault, me finding something to blame or use as an excuse. But truth be told shes the only one trying to help me get better. During my panic attack my family called me crazy and told me to stop acting out. I told them I couldn’t control it to which my father says if you can’t I will. He grabbed his shoe and was about physically abuse me. I screamed and cried for him not to touch me. My mom intervened thank god. I don’t know what our hotel neighbours think. This is becoming the last straw with my family. I can’t get better by staying but I can’t leave because I have no finance thus I’m not going to be able to afford my hefty meds and I have no place to go. I hate this so much.

Monday I started off great and with a clear head, felt super optimistic and focused. As soon as the pressure and pain in my spine started, I was back to being so depressed that I felt paralyzed (is there a better word for this? I feel so frozen when it happens).

Yesterday was just rough the whole day. Abloo bloo’d a lot, cried at acupuncture, couldn’t focus, felt like I was a hologram.

TODAY so far despite bad pain and almost-panic attack only allowing me 4 hours of sleep (when I finally resigned and took my emergency meds. I HATE THAT I NEED THEM so much lately but that’s what they’re there for, so why do I feel so bad about it?), I’m feeling good so far. I took my morning slow with a long bath, self-massage, food, herbs, yadda yadda, and more rest.

About to go to work, hopefully my mood stays up even though my pain is starting to ramp up. I just gotta focus, do my job, have fun with the regulars and their dogs!

I hope everyone is doing okay. May the spoons be with you.

anonymous asked:

I have cried so much today, and my heart hurts. I ate today, but I don't think I'll eat tomorrow. I don't know why I've been crying so much but it makes me feel weak... - important banana anon

What’s going on? Do you want to talk privately? It’s okay to cry when you need to, it doesn’t make you weak. There’s nothing wrong with being emotional, and sometimes you need to get everything out to be able to feel better and let go. Try to rest, drink something warm and try to watch or read something that can make you smile. If you can try to sleep you might feel much calmer in the morning

Avril Lavigne Diagnosed With Lyme Disease: "I Was Bedridden for Five Months" and "I Thought I Was Dying"


Life got pretty complicated for Avril Lavigne last year.


When she visited Las Vegas to celebrate her 30th birthday in October, she wasn’t in the partying mood. “I could barely eat, and when we went to the pool, I had to leave and go lie in bed,” she recalls, adding that she’d felt lethargic and lightheaded for a while. “My friends asked, ‘What’s wrong?’ I didn’t know.”


Shortly after, Lavigne was diagnosed with a severe case of Lyme disease.


“I had no idea a bug bite could do this,” she says. “I was bedridden for five months.”


The “Girlfriend” singer believes a tick bit her sometime in the spring of 2014.


As the “Rock 'n’ Roll” singer reveals in People’s Apr. 13 issue, she spent months recuperating at her home in Ontario. Lavigne spent time with family, watched movies and talked to fans using social media. Her husband, Chad Kroeger, 40, checked in during breaks from his tour with Nickelback, and for a while, Lavigne’s mother moved in to help take care of her. “There were definitely times I couldn’t shower for a full week because I could barely stand. It felt like having all your life sucked out of you,” the singer says.


“I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t move,” she says. “I thought I was dying.”

Lavigne kept her health news private, but she did open up to one fan via direct messaging on Twitter. The posts went viral in December, but she didn’t mind. “They were asking about me since I was MIA, so I mentioned to one fan directly that I wasn’t feeling good. The get-well messages and videos they sent touched me so deeply,” she recalls. “I lay in bed watching them and cried so much because I felt loved.”

Today, Lavigne says she is feeling “80 percent better.


"This was a wake-up call,” the “Sk8er Boi” singer says. “I really just want to enjoy life from here on out.”


People’s Apr. 13 issue

Things that would be nice to hear for once maybe:

“It’s going to be ok”
“I’m so proud of you”
“You’re not a disappointment”
“I believe in you”
“I know you can make it, you’re stronger then you think”
“I really do love you”
“I’m glad you’re in my life”
“You make my life easier”
“Your soul is so beautiful”
“I don’t think you’re talentless *gives specific example of thing I made with reasons why it was good*
“I don’t think you’re useless *gives example of thing I did that was helpful with reasons why*
"I truly hope you’re happy someday”
“I miss you when you’re gone”
“You’re so much more than you think”
“I love it when you smile”
“I actually like your singing”
“This made me think of you”
“You don’t deserve to feel this way”
“What can I do to make you feel better”
“You look nice today”
“I see that you’re trying”
“You are enough”
“You’re a good friend”
“I won’t leave you”
“I would be sad if you were gone”

dear carrie fisher,

hi mom. you’re not my real mom, i know, but there were many times that you felt more like a mother to me than my own mom did. and no, i never knew you personally, but i didn’t need to, because i think your love for those who supported you transcended all that. and i know that if my own mother stopped loving me because of who i am (she doesn’t know who i am yet), that i would have your love to fall back on.

this sounds really dumb. i miss you so much already. i cried so much over you today, and i know that’s really weird, because i don’t cry often, and i don’t cry for people who have died very often either.

i hope wherever you are, that it’s treating you much better than this world did, and than this year did. you mean so much to me, and it’s really hard to live in a world without you.

but i’m going to try.

i’ve been feeling really suicidal recently, and your death didn’t really make me want to live longer, either. but i know that’s not what you would have wanted. i know you would want me to live to my better future. you inspire me to keep living (i mean, i’ve at least gotta outlive donald trump, don’t i? you would appreciate that, i think). i have to be stronger and try harder and endure, just like i know you would have wanted me to.

so thank you. even in your absence, you will continue to impact me positively every day.

i may miss you tonnes, but your impact on my life will never be forgotten.

to better days - i’ll see you in one of them.

love, k.

3

“I thought I lost you,

I thought I’d never see your sweet face again,

I turned around and you were gone,

And on and on the days went.

But I kept the moments that we were in,

Cause I hoped in my heart you’d come back to me my friend.

And now I got you,

But I thought I lost you…” - Miley Cyrus and John Travolta, ‘I thought I lost You’

Last night I re-watched one of my favourite Disney films called 'Bolt’, and I loved how the whole movie was about friendship and looking out for each other in any situation and no matter who that person was, you always stuck by that person who you love and care about. I heard the song at the end of it and it reminded me of Mark because I was super excited to see him the next day.

I was so happy that I cried when I saw he uploaded something today! I can’t wait to see what else he brings us all next but I will be patient and hope all of you will be too. In the vlog when he said “Thank you for being here for me”. I started crying and said 'Why wouldn’t we?’, because Mark has done so much for me as a person and for all of us. And now to see him back feeling better, makes me feel like the happiest person in the world. I feel that we have done something, and that I feel useful for once, thanks to Mark

I was happy to see him because for me personally, he is a hero of mine that is actually alive and out there for me and you all. Most of my idols and heroes in my book are either deceased or too tired to do anything with themselves again.

But when I see Mark and his videos, I can believe in myself that he is out there changing the world in his own way for good, and I can believe that I can soon do the same. To see his face again, means a lot to me, and I get sad sometimes when I don’t see him because I don’t want to lose him like I lost a lot of my other heroes. But he never fails to make me feel better and for everyone too. And I will be understandable and patient with anything that he does or anyone else in this world does, good things come to those who wait!

Be patient, and respect the people you love and care about! <3 Hope you have a lovely day and I am here if you need me! :)

(Not my gifs they belong to these lovelies markisepticeye and iancoxhasabowlhaircut)

the-little-blogging-mermaid  asked:

Hi! Could I request 2p Canada and 2p Prussia (if you write for him) comforting their s/o after they had a panic attack while giving a presentation in class please! (This happened to me today and it was terrifying i'm so embarrassed I cried so much:"(

(Oh my gosh love, I know how you feel and I’m sorry this is so late! I get the same way when I have to speak in class, and I always get the hiccups halfway through a presentation. It’s humiliating. I do hope this makes you feel better though!)

Canada/James: The first thing he would do is make you something to eat, be it soup, or whatever he could find, probably a frozen pizza. Then he would sit you on the couch and wrap the two of you in blankets and just cuddle together. He may put in a movie or something for you to watch too, and assure you that you did great and that he’s here for you no matter what. Expect lots of loving top-of-your-head kisses from him too.

Prussia/Garrin: He’s a bit awkward when expressing his emotions, but I have no doubts he would make you feel better somehow. He would most likely make a pot of tea and sit with you at the table, holding your hand, while the water boiled. When it was done he’d tell you to go settle in somewhere while he prepared it, and spend the rest of the night lying silently next to you, stroking your hair and occasionally whispering supportive, shy things in your ear. 

-Admin Irish.

Thank you baekhyun for always making him smile,taking care of him, understanding him. I’m grateful he has a brother like you. Also junmyeon who leaves his seat immediately after seeing yixing cry, jongin who comforted him.

My dearest Philip,

Today you had a giant headache. It made me sad to see you in so much pain, you even cried a little bit. So I decided to comfort you by giving you one of my warm bear hugs. I told you that you were going to feel better after a while and that I would bring you some paracetemols to make the pain go away, but you clung onto me and told me that you didn’t want to let go just yet. I hope you get better soon!

Xxx Daniel